Thursday, August 30, 2012

Romney Accepts- Banks New PCW Red Brand Champion

TAMPA — On a night where ‘The Massachusetts Redblood’ Mitt Romney (R-MA) officially accepted the nod to challenge PCW CEO Barack Obama (D-IL) for the top job in Political Championship Wrestling, the Republican Establishment came through in spades for new PCW Red Brand Champion P.M.C. Banks (R).

Banks defeated long time Republican stalwart Starz N. Stripes at the 17:33 with the Foreclosure in match that saw a lot of extracurricular activity including:
- a Ron Paul (R-TX) run-in by the New Libertarian Army (Jack and Bull Schmidt) where Jack tried to join the match but was sent to the back by Republican referee J. Michael Mitchell.
- Code Pink (D) somehow snuck into the building and tried to Glitter Bomb Banks. But PCW Women’s Champion Jill Berg (R) hit the ring and brawled with Pink all the way to the back.
-Occupy Wall Street’s Nate, Shane, and Adam also tried to make their way to the ring but where cut off and beaten back by venerable actor Clint Eastwood and several former Olympians.
-Finally, Paul Ryan’s Raiders (Nick Ray and Kevin Collins) (R) distract the referee allowing Banks to Foreclose on Starz for the win.

Next week: the Democrats meet in Charlotte and PCW Blue Brand Champion Triple R (D) challenges PCW Champion The Sanderman (D) for the title.

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

It’s official- Mitt Romney (R-MA) vs. Barack Obama (D-IL) at PCW Extreme Election Night 2012

Despite the protests of the Ron Paul (R-TX) faction, ‘The Massachusetts Red Blood’ Mitt Romney was officially named the Republican‘s choice to take on current PCW CEO Barack Obama at the Republican National Convention.

Tomorrow night, the highlight of the RNC will be the PCW Red Brand Title Match between old guard stalwart, the former Rookie Sensation’ Starz N. Stripes (R) and newcomer P.M.C. Banks (R).

Who will carry the Red Brand banner headed into the fall?

Who will put himself in line for a PCW title shot?

Who will the Republican Establishment choose?

Find out tomorrow night…


Sunday, August 26, 2012

This book is a lot funnier than 2016 Obama’s America…

…and it features PCW.

That’s right, Jesusland vs. Progressiveville is a lot funnier than the 2016 Obama‘s America movie that’s now out…and it puts the blame squarely where it belongs- our dysfunctional political culture. And did I mention it’s funny?

 

That’s right, from the cover showing Sarah Palin and Keith Olbermann attempting to throttle each to the opening salvo delivered in Charlie Ray Carlson’s Greatest Hit, “Shut Up and Drink My Beer”:

“I’m sitting at a bar stool
They’ve got the TV on
It’s one of those political pundit shows
Who says the other side is wrong
I ask the bartender to change it now
And I make it very clear
I didn’t come in to hear political noise
I came in  to drink some beer

“They say the coverage on Fox News is slightly skewed
And MSNBC may have a particular point of view
As for CNN, let me make this crystal clear
I wish they’d all shut up…
And let me drink my beer.
I know y’all claim to be- impartial and fair
Y’all just need to shut up
And let me drink my beer….

‎”I already know how bad things are
Because I live it every day
We know the economy’s bad- and jobs are few
And we all have bills to pay
The government prints the money they need
While the rest of us are in arrears
Staying afloat in an ocean of debt
And not enough cash to buy a beer

“They say the coverage on Fox News is slightly skewed
And MSNBC may have a particular point of view
As for CNN, let me make this crystal clear
I wish they’d all shut up…
And let me drink my beer.
I know y’all claim to be- impartial and fair
Y’all just need to shut up
And let me drink my beer
Yee-haw.
“Both parties- they’re all the same
They point fingers at each other to blame
For the way things are what they are
I can barely afford to drive my car
Raise a glass for the common man
Who’s only doing the best he can
Raise a middle finger if you’re pissed
And tell the politicians to occupy this

“They say the coverage on Fox News is slightly skewed
And MSNBC may have a particular point of view
As for CNN, let me make this crystal clear
I wish they’d all shut up…
And let me drink my beer.
I know y’all claim to be- impartial and fair
Y’all just need to shut up
And let me drink my beer
Can’t I sit here in peace and
Just drink my beer.
 ..the book harpoons the dysfunctional mess that American politics have become.

The year is 2017. Former Presidents Bill Clinton and George W. Bush convene the American Reconciliation Summit- an attempt to reunite the fifty states into one country once again in a world where harsh divisions and economic strife have pulled the United States apart. But when a multi-national mega-corporation attempts to disrupt the reconciliation talks, Stacey Martin, Kate Wilson, and the Washington Freedom Force find themselves on the front line protecting the, now, free city of Washington D.C. and the summit. With the future of a possible reconstituted United States in the balance, can Stacey and Kate stop the forces against reconciliation from undermining the summit? Or will the corporation make sure the talks suffer a cataclysmic, catastrophic failure of nuclear proportions. Written by the irrepressible, onerous, and uber-mysterious Mr. A. Nominous, the book not only harpoons the dysfunction in American politics but also pokes fun at various cultural icons ranging from Harry Potter to Les Miserables, Stars Wars to Armageddon to even the Twilight films, and big corporations and country music to name a few.
 
Amazon.com
Kindle-Amazon.com
Barnes and Noble
Books a Million

Saturday, August 25, 2012

The Final Road to PCW Extreme Election Night 2012: PCW Hotline

PCW Hotline
With ‘The Voice of PCW’ Johnny Suave


Johnny Suave

PCW gears down for the next couple of weeks as the Republicans and Democrats hold their conventions.  Let’s see where we’re at with PCW Extreme Election Night 2012 two and a half months away.  We’ll start with the unofficial PCW Heartland Title.

HEARTLAND CHAMPION: Dawn McGill
#1 CONTENDER: TBD

For Dawn McGill, the past few weeks have been eventful.  She lost a title consolidation match to Republican Jill Berg- who wasn’t even booked in the match to begin with.  She declared herself the Heartland Champion that night and then at Night of Champions paid Berg back in kind.
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McGill’s Heartland title has not been officially recognized by PCW.  Now with the former Daniel-San now William Daniels Bryan also joining the Independent/Unaffiliated movement, PCW is now at a crossroads.
The Republicans and Democrats now control all the belts and have made it incredibly difficult for an Independent to get a chance at the title- essentially disenfranchising over half the PCW roster.
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The Republicans and Democrats are already touring seperate from the main PCW group to put on their own shows.  With McGill and Bryan striking back against the powers that be in the past couple of weeks, will the building unrest within the Independents/Unaffiliated factions cause the Democrats and Republicans to make that split official?
=
This promises to be the number one storyline as PCW heads towards Extreme Election Night in November.

PCW WORLD CHAMPION:  The Sanderman (D)
#1 SINGLES CONTENDER TBD

With the departure of Yamamoto Tanaka from PCW and the Republican ranks, the #1 contender slot is wide open.  Enter the ‘Angry Highway Warrior’ Triple R (D) who’s long believed that the Democrats aren’t ‘extreme’ enough when dealing with Republicans.
=
Triple R demanded and apparently will wrestle PCW Champion The Sanderman (D) for the title at the Democratic National Convention even though PCW CEO Barack Obama’s aides are split on whether to actually allow the match to take place.
=
The overriding question is who will step up for the Republican side now that Tanaka has departed.

PCW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: Scott Walker‘s Rangers: John and Ronnie Walker (R)
#1 TAG TEAM CONTENDER: Big Union: ‘The Self Described Savior of the Middle Class’ Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker (D)

The Walkers defeated Big Union at PCW Night of Champions to solidify their hold on the PCW Tag Team belts.  Will there be a third match at Extreme Election Night?  With Eric Holder‘s (D) Department of Justice clearing out the tag team competition, chances are Big Union will get another crack at the Walkers.

PCW WOMEN’S CHAMPION: Jill Berg (R)
#1 TELEVISION TITLE CONTENDER: Code Pink (D)

 Code Pink couldn’t win back the PCW Women’s belt for the Democrats at Night of Champions.  Now it appears the Democrats have brought in another female wrestler to challenge Berg- former Hooter’s waitress C.J. Lewis.
=
Lewis, a single mother, arrives in PCW from modest beginnings and will have to fight her way past the NOW supported Code Pink and Emily S List to move her way up to a title match against Berg.

PCW BLUE CHAMPION: Triple R (D)
#1 BLUE BRAND CONTENDER: ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D)


With Triple R gunning for the PCW title, all has been quiet on the PCW Blue Brand front as ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ has taken a step back for the moment.
=
However, should Triple R somehow win the big title, Chism will certainly return to the spotlight.  He’ll certainly look to regain the PCW Blue Brand title.

PCW RED CHAMPION: TBD
#1 RED BRAND CONTENDER: ‘The Original Rookie Sensation’ Starz N. Stripes (R)

Former champion Yamamoto Tanaka is back in Japan for good.  The Republican National Convention just days away and soon we will know who will become the next PCW Red Brand Champion.
=
Will it be ‘the Original Rookie Sensation’ Starz N. Stripes?  Or will it be the newcomer to the Republican team, P.M.C. Banks?  Banks debuted last weekend and made a very favorable impression on the Republican Establishment.    But Starz N. Stripes has been there before.  And no one will ever forget his epic match against O’Beck Bahama at Extreme Election Night 2008.
=
We will know by next week just what direction the Republicans will go.

Stay tuned.  PCW returns September 10th for the final act of the 2012 PCW CEO battle between ‘The Natural’ Barack Obama (D-IL) and ‘The Massachusetts RedBlood’ Mitt Romney (R-MA).

Matches signed to date for Extreme Election Night:
Ohio- Sherrod Brown (D) vs. Josh Mandel (R)
Virginia- George Allen (R) vs. Tim Kaine (D)
Massachusetts- Scott Brown (R) vs. Elizabeth Warren (D)
Connecticut: Linda McMahon (R) versus Chris Murphy (D)
Missouri: Claire McCaskill (D) vs. Todd Akin (R)

Akin is under heavy pressure from the Republican establishment to drop out of the McCaskill match but has picked up support from Mike Huckabee (R-AR) and the God Squad: Rev. Oral Hinnrich (R) and Rev. Buddy Flambe (R).


Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Akin 'Achy' After McGill Encounter

PCW Extreme Political TV
Monday August 20th, 2012
Host: Johnny Suave

Suave reviewed the events that led to Red Brand Champion Yamamoto Tanaka (R) leaving PCW. A clip from a press conference showed the 3 time champion citing ‘wrestling politics’ as the reason he was leaving and noted that he was screwed out of the title three different times in his tenure in PCW.

1. He was stripped of the title thanks to a boycott of PCW’s Kingman, Arizona house show by the Democrats over Arizona’s enaction of a controversial immigration law. Tanaka no-showed the event per the Democrat‘s edict and under PCW rules forfeited the title to Average Joe.

2. At June’s PCW Loose Cannons Unleashed 8, PCW Champion The Sanderman (D) came out to the ring and then refused to wrestle, walking back to the locker room and giving Tanaka the count-out win.

3. Wednesday night, The Sanderman again went to the back after the Independent/Unaffiliated group invaded and the match was called off.

Tanaka said yesterday that he is headed back to Japan to work at a promotion there.

Republican Leader Reince Priebus announced again with Tanaka dropping the title the new Red Brand Champion will be determined at the Republican Convention in Tampa, FL.

Suave recapped the weekend in PCW:

Blue Brand Show Results- Saturday in Cleveland, OHRon Denver (D) def. Paddy O’Kennedy (D) w/the Rocky Mountain High
‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D) def. Charlie Ranck (D) of the Chicago Boss Squad w/the Hollywood Blockbuster
Bain (D) destroyed Entitlement Eric
C.J. Lewis def. Hollywood Hallie in her PCW debut match

Triple R comes out and again demands a PCW Title match against Champion The Sanderman (D) at the Democratic National Convention.

PCW Blue Brand Champion Triple R (D) def. ‘Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee of the Green World Order in a non-title match.

Blue Brand Show Results- Sunday in Detroit, MIPaddy O’Kennedy def. Ron Denver
Charlie Ranck def. ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism
Hollywood Hallie def. C. J. Lewis
GreenPete def. Blue Brand Champion Triple R via DQ in a non-title match.

After the match, Triple R complained bitterly about ‘parity booking’ where if wrestler A beats wrestler B than wrestler B needs to defeat wrestler A to get his win back.

Triple R: “#@$# fairness. @#$# trading wins back and forth. You won’t beat the Republicans with this bull@#$# parity booking.”

Extreme Plaintiff Attorney R Felcher than walked out with Entitlement Eric (D) and admonished Triple R for not being caring enough to his fellow wrestlers. Felcher said PCW needs to “redistribute” the success of winning by allowing those with less talent than others, like Entitlement Eric, their opportunity to win.

R Felcher: “It’s the right, forward leaning thing to do! After you’ve been the PCW Blue Brand champion for a couple weeks, you should drop the title to Entitlement Eric because it’ll be his turn to be the champion.”

That brought out PCW Executive Committee Chair Harry Reid (D-NV). He tried to calm Triple R down but then booked on the fly a match for the PCW Blue Brand title with Triple R defending against…Entitlement Eric. Reid added a stipulation: if Triple R wins- he’ll get his PCW title shot at the Democratic National Convention.

(1) PCW Blue Brand Title Match: Triple R (D) (c) vs. Entitlement Eric (D) w/Extreme Attorney R Felcher

Triple R walked to the middle of the ring and offered Entitlement Eric a free armbar. Eric took it, tried it, and then ate a Mule Kick from Triple R to the nether regions. R Felcher immediately protested to the referee. Triple R Bulldogs Entitlement Eric to the mat. Stomps to the back. Rake across the back. Triple R pulls Eric up…SLEEPER! R Felcher again protests to the referee. Entitlement Eric slowly nodded off. He’s out. Match over.

WINNER: Triple R @ 2:43

Suave then turned to the Republicans very interesting weekend.

Red Brand Show Results Sunday @ St. Louis, MO

All the big Red Brand stars (Big Oil, Kirk Walstreit, Magnum PO’d, Starz N. Stripes, and Texas Jack came out to make their intentions beknown that they were all gunning for the PCW Red Brand title.

But the big story of the night? Todd Akin (R-MO) being interviewed by PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein:

“Pregnancies from rape are “really rare…what I understand from doctors. If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down. But let’s assume that maybe that didn’t work or something: I think there should be some punishment, but the punishment ought to be of the rapist, and not attacking the child.”

Magnum PO’d (R) def. Dan Van Dam
P.M. C. Banks (R) def. Mitch Thomas- American Taxpayer in Banks debut match with his finisher- The Money Bomb
Starz N. Stripes and Texas Jack (R) def. 2 Live Gurus: Self help experts Guy Forgette and Jar Jar Banks
Corporate Might (Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit) (R) def. The Main Street Mafia (Brian King and Russ Smith) (R)
PCW Tag Team Champions Scott Walker’s Rangers (John and Ronnie Walker) (R) def. The Bookworms (Dean Barnes and Kevin Noble)

BACKSTAGEMitt Romney (R-MA) walked out of a meeting with some aides…

Romney: “I can’t defend him, I can’t defend…THAT…”

Who? Todd Akin (R-MO). He stayed in the room and admitted he misspoke.

Suave: “That’s an understatement.”

Mitch McConnell (R-KY) advised Akin to ‘reconsider his options.’ Akin said he would do what it took to get back on good footing at the end of the show tonight.

(2) ‘The Fighting Farmer from Forest City, IA‘ John Deer vs. ‘Sparkly Vampire’ Edward Collen

A crush of pre-teens rushed to the edge of the ring as Collen, all sparkly as ever, took off his sparkly robe. Deer was making his PCW Independent/Unaffiliated debut.

…Collen choked Deer with a microphone cable on the floor. He spun Deer around- DDT on the floor. Collen moved back into the ring. He climbed the top turnbuckle…suicide dive….MISSES! Now it’s John Deer on the attack. Fist drop. Deer picked up a Chicken Tractor and drops it on Collen. Flying knee drop right to the gut by Deer. Now what…a SHOVEL? Deer raised the shovel and blasted Collen with it not once but TWICE = DOUBLE DIGGING! John Deer now pulling Collen up to the top turnbuckle…PLOWBOY PLUNGE! Cover…count the pin. …1 …2 …3.

WINNER: John Deer @ 8:49

BACKSTAGEPCW CEO Barack Obama (D-IL) wraps up a press availability session- his first since June.

Jake Tapper: “Don’t be a stranger!”

Obama: “I won’t!

Then he left with Entertainment Tonight’s Nancy O’Dell.

BACKSTAGEInside Obama’s office, aides argue back and forth on whether to allow Blue Brand Champion Triple R (D) to challenge PCW Champion The Sanderman for the title at the DNC.

Back in the ring, Todd Akin (R-MO) stood alone.

Akin: “I made that statement in error. Let me be clear. Rape is never legitimate. It’s an evil act, and it’s committed by violent predators,” he said. “I used the wrong words in the wrong way. What I said was ill conceived and it was wrong. For that I apologize.”

Suave noted Akin’s apology but wondered if that would be enough. Then the Beastie Boy’s ‘Sabotage’ blared from the loudspeakers.

http://politicalwrestling.files.wordpress.com/2012/07/dawn-mcgill.jpg?w=167&h=172
Heartland Champion
Dawn McGill


Suave: “Oh, dear…”

McGill strolled down to the ring holding a Singapore cane in one hand. She slid into the ring. Akin immediately tried to leave but McGill yanked him right back in. *THWACK*

Suave: “HOLY CRAP!”

*THWACK*

After whacking Akin like a human pinata, McGill launched him out of the ring and followed. She picked him up by the scruff of the neck and flung him into the steel guardrail. McGill lifted Akin up…ATOMIC DROP ONTO THE STEEL GUARDRAIL!

Suave: “HOLY CRAP!”

Mike Huckabee (R-AR) ran down and tried to convince McGill to stop. She tossed him aside and whacked Akin a few more times with the Singapore cane. Then back to the ring where she was joined by PCW newcomers the Brooklyn Bowler (complete with bowling ball inside bag), his valet the Barmaid, and Comic Book Bart (complete with large Captain America shield).

McGill took the Captain American shield and put it on Akin’s groin area.

Suave: “What is she going to do?”

McGill then took the bowling bag and walked over to Akin. She raised the bag and blasted Akin on the shield covering his groin immediately causing him to double up in excruciating pain.

Suave: “Holy…holy…crap…”

McGill directed traffic in the ring and the Brooklyn Bowler and Comic Book Bart sat Akin up in the corner and spread his legs. McGill took the ball out of the bag, wound up, and fired a strike right down the middle…

Suave: “…holy…crap.”

Akin tipped over and the Republicans in the building all rushed out.

Suave then noted that pro wrestling had not seen anything like that since a September 1998 episode of PCW and said McGill did this tonight in tribute to ECW’s Innovator of Violence Tommy Dreamer.

Friday, August 17, 2012

Tanaka Leaves PCW- Blames 'Wrestling Politics'

Three-time PCW Champion and current PCW Red Brand titleholder Yamamoto Tanaka abruptly left Political Championship Wrestling it was announced earlier today.
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Yamamoto Tanaka (R)
-
Tanaka was to have wrestled current PCW Champion The Sanderman Wednesday night at Night of Champions for the title when this took place:
-
During the introductions, William Daniels Bryan and Charlie Blackwell lead a group of Independent/Non-Affilated political wrestlers including Mike the Mechanic, Mitch Thomas, and Brad Company to the ring.
-
The Sanderman immediately flees from the ring leaving Tanaka.  Tanaka looks to the referee- he shrugs and then leaves the ring too.  
-
Tanaka, enraged, charges into the group and brawls with everyone. 
-
Tanaka laid out several members of the group before Republicans came out and ushered him to the back.
-
The 3 time champion cited ‘wrestling politics’ and noted that he was screwed out of the title three different times in his tenure in PCW.
-
1. He was stripped of the title thanks to a boycott of PCW’s Kingman, Arizona house show by the Democrats over Arizona’s enaction of a controversial immigration law.  Tanaka no-showed the event per the Democrat‘s edict and under PCW rules forfeited the title to Average Joe.
-
2. At June’s PCW Loose Cannons Unleashed 8, PCW Champion The Sanderman (D) came out to the ring and then refused to wrestle, walking back to the locker room and giving Tanaka the count-out win.
-
3.  Wednesday night, The Sanderman again went to the back after the Independent/Unaffiliated group invaded and the match was called off.
-
Tanaka reportedly is headed back to Japan to work at a promotion there.
-
PCW Red Brand Title Up for Grabs
Republican Leader Reince Priebus announced that with Tanaka dropping the title the new Red Brand Champion will be determined at the Republican Convention in Tampa, FL.
-
PCW Blue Brand Champion Triple R Challenges PCW Champion
With Tanaka out of the way and out of PCW, Blue Brand Champion Triple R (D) now wants a shot at The Sanderman (D) at the Democratic National Convention in Charlotte, NC.
-
No word from PCW Executive Committee Chief Harry Reid (D-NV) or Democratic Leader Debbie Wasserman-Schultz (D-FL) on whether Triple R will get his shot or not.
-
Obama aide de camp Joe “The Big F’n Deal’ Biden Sent Home
Following his ‘chains’ remark Wednesday night, PCW CEO Barack Obama’s aide de camp Joe Biden (D-DE) was sent back to Delaware for a little R and R.
-
Comments re: Dawn McGill’s attack from Wednesday night’s show:
-
Code Pink (D)
“Dawn McGill is a classic product of the military complex.  It’s clear this uneducated and ignorant barbarian should be barred from PCW.”
-
Preibus (R)
“There were VIP’s backstage who were attacked by Ms. McGill.  We simply can’t have loose cannons like that attacking important people, who’ve spent a lot of money to be there, with steel folding chairs.  We can’t have that.”
-
Wasserman-Schultz (D)
“What McGill did was unacceptable.  Many of these people were important constituents and financial supporters and she knocked them down as if they were just the common person on the street.”
-

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Joe Biden Unleashed: PCW Night of Champions

PCW Night of Champions
Hartford, CT
Wednesday August 15th, 2012
Host: Johnny Suave

-

Suave runs down the card one last time:
-
Tag Team Title Match:
Tag Team Champions Scott Walker’s Rangers: John and Ronnie Walker (R) vs. Big Union:’The Self Described Savior of the Middle Class’  Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker (D)
-
Women’s Title Match:
Women’s Champion Jill Berg (R) vs. Code Pink (D)
-
PCW Title Match:
PCW Champion The Sanderman (D) vs. ‘The Japanese SuperDestroyer’ Yamamoto Tanaka (R)
-
(1) PCW Tag Team Champions Scott Walker’s Rangers: John and Ronnie Walker (R) vs. Big Union:’The Self Described Savior of the Middle Class’  Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker (D)
No background needed here.  Two bitter rivals who despise each other in a tag team war.
-
Republican Leader Rance Priebus is ringside.  So is Debbie Wasserman-Schultz for the Democrats and the King of Labor Richard Trumka (D).
-
The bell rings and Big Labor clotheslines John Walker.  Big Labor whips John off the ropes and hits him with a diving shoulder block.  James the Jeep Worker tags in for the Democrats and locks up with John Walker.  James the Jeep Worker sends John to the corner of the ring and misses the elbow.  Big Labor  tags back in and tackles John Walker to the mat.  Big Labor rains punches down.   Ronnie Walker runs in and gets clotheslined…
-
Suave: “It has been every bit the free for all we thought this would be.  Trumka has interjected himself into the match repeatedly and the Coke Brothers (R) and their endless amount of cash have run in and are brawling with Bain and Romney Hood (D).  Both teams are taking it to the political extreme!”
-
Big Labor punches Ronnie Walker repeatedly. Whip into the ropes, Big Labor shoulder tackles Ronnie and tags in James the Jeep Worker.  James the Jeep Worker with the arm wringer.  Ronnie Walker squirms out and tags John Walker in.  John Walker with the gutbuster.  James the Jeep Worker pokes the eyes and tags Big Labor back in. Big Labor roars in and shoulder tackles John Walker.  Big Labor lifts Ronnie…SCABBUSTER!  Cover…1…2…NO! Ronnie gets the shoulder up.  Big Labor covers again…1…2…NO!  Again the shoulder gets up in time.  . James the Jeep Worker in.  He does a cartwheel and kicks Ronnie Walker in the face.  Cover by Big Labor…1…2…NO!…
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Suave: “BOTH TEAMS IN THE RING!  BOTH DEMOCRATS AND REPUBLICAN LEADERS CROWD THE OUTSIDE OF THE RING!
-
Big Labor  shoulder tackles Ronnie Walker. Big Labor lifts…SCABBUSTER! Cover…1…2…HUH?
-
A masked man pulls the referee out of the ring.
-
Suave: “WHO THE HELL IS-”
-
He pulls off the mask- it’s Paul Ryan (R-WI).
-
Suave: “HOLY CRAP!  PAUL RYAN MAKES THE SAVE!”
-
Big Labor yells at Ryan and walks into a Ronnie Walker uppercut.   Jawbreaker on Big Labor.  Evenflow DDT by Ronnie Walker.  Cover…1…2 ..3.
-
Suave: “THEY RETAIN!  SCOTT WALKER’S RANGERS RETAIN!
-
WINNER AND STILL PCW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: Scott Walker’s Rangers: Ronnie and John Walker (R) @ 17:06
-
The Democrats are furious and berate the referee.
-
Mitt Romney (R-MA) Promo
Romney says he wants to take this opportunity to reintroduce himself to Political Championship Wrestling and make the case for him to become the next PCW CEO.
-
Romney the reason he is the best candidate for PCW CEO  is because Obama is anti-business and responsible for the exploding debt.  He says that Robin Hood politics of income redistribution that Obama favors are bad and that raising taxes on just the wealthiest is even worse even if they’re more able to absorb the increase than middle America would.
-
Romney: “If the most successful, wealthiest people in our country can’t thrive and prosper, how can any of the benefits trickle down to middle America?”
-
Recap of run up to Women’s Match
-
7/30-PCW Extreme Political TV

PCW Women’s Champion Miss USA vs. PCW Television Champion Dawn McGill vs. Code Pink (D) in title consolidation match
Code Pink in control now.  She sends McGill to the corner.  Pink reaches into her pocket…GLITTER BOMB!  Code Pink for the cover!  1…2…WHAT!
-
Suave: GOLATTA JUST PULLED CODE PINK OFF McGILL!  TRIPLE R CAN’T BELIEVE IT!
-
Neither can Emily S. List who hops into the ring to confront Golatta.  List pushes Golatta; Golatta pushes her down.
-
Suave: WHAT IS GOING ON?  FIRST, GOLATTA IS HELPING CODE PINK.  NOW, HE’S HELPING-
-
THUMP
THUMP
THUMP-THUMP-THUMP
-
The crowd stood as a photo of the phenomenon known as Jill-Berg (R) appeared on the video screen…
-
Later…
-
Suave: BUZZSAW KICK TO  CODE PINK.  SPEAR TO EMILY S LIST!
-
JILLLL-BERG chants start.  Golatta turns to Triple R.  He rears back with his right hand…FOUL POLE!
-
Suave: HOLY CRAP!
-
Triple R drops to his knees and crumples over.  Jill Berg covers McGill.  1…2…3.   Berg covers Code Pink.
-
Suave: I DON’T BELIEVE IT!
-
Pelosi and O’Neill try to get into the ring but Golatta blocks their way.  1…2…3!
-
WINNER  @ 21:05 AND NEW PCW WOMEN’S CHAMPION: Jill Berg (R)
-
(2) PCW WOMEN’S TITLE MATCH
PCW Women’s Champion Jill Berg (R) vs. Code Pink (D)
Code Pink already in the ring.  She’s accompanied to the ring by Emily S. List, Nancy Pelosi (D-CA), and NOW President Terry O’Neill (D).
-
THUMP
THUMP
THUMP-THUMP-THUMP
-
The crowd stood as a photo of the phenomenon known as Jill-Berg (R) appeared on the video screen.
-
THUMP
THUMP
THUMP-THUMP-THUMP
-
Suave: IT’S JILL-BERG!
-
The door opened and four large male bodybuilding types walked out of the dressing room while Jill Berg’s assistant furiously scribbled down notes
-
THUMP
THUMP
THUMP-THUMP-THUMP
-
Jill Berg charges in from the crowd and gets nailed with a charging axhandle bodyblock from…DAWN McGILL?
-
Suave: “IT’S THE HEARTLAND CHAMPION DAWN McGILL!
-
McGill drops Berg with a Gorilla Press Slam.   Code Pink slides out of the ring and goes right for McGill.  McGill legsweeps Code Pink and then follows with the slingshot facebuster and slams Pink’s face to the floor.  Emily S List races over.  McGill grabs a chair…*WHAP*…down goes List.  Jill-Berg’s bodyguards attack…*WHAP* *WHAP* *WHAP* *WHAP* …and are left lying on the floor.
-
Pelosi and O’Neill scream at McGill.  McGill raises the chair and takes a step towards both women- who decide to withdraw to safer pastures.  McGill grabs Berg and throws her into the ring.  She makes the cover…no count by the referee.
-
Suave: “Wait a minute!  Didn’t McGill lose the title consolidation match in the same way?  Why isn’t he counting?”
-
McGill yells at the referee and then slaps on the Katahajime.  Berg desperately tries to escape but she finally taps…but the referee doesn’t acknowledge it.  Pelosi and O’Neill on the ring apron.  McGill jumps up and grabs the chair and chases them back to the floor.  She turns to the referee and demands to know why he’s not making the count?
-
Suave: “WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?  McGILL LOST THE TITLE THE SAME WAY!”
-
Finally, McGill blasts the referee with the chair.   Andy ‘The Foul Pole’ Golatta (R) runs down.  He slides into the ring and rushes McGill.  Kick to the balls.  *WHAP*
-
She goes over to the ring table where the Women’s belt is.  McGill grabs it.  The ring tech refuses to give it up.  *WHAP*
-
McGill grabs the belt and heads to the back.
-
Suave: “HOLY CRAP!”
-
McGill goes to the back and sees a number of representatives of various special interest groups (both Democrat and Republican) milling about backstage.  *WHAP* *WHAP* *WHAP* *WHAP* *WHAP*
*WHAP*
-
Suave: “SHE’S LOST IT!  SHE’S SNAPPED AND NOW SHE’S TAKING OUT SPECIAL INTEREST GROUPS LEFT AND RIGHT!”
-
*WHAP* *WHAP* *WHAP* *WHAP* *WHAP* *WHAP*
-
After an unscheduled commercial break, Suave is in the ring and announces that because the PCW Women’s match did not take place that another match would be shown in its place.
-
(3) Linda McMahon (R) vs. Christopher Shays (R)
Taped from earlier in the night, McMahon and her well financed team take on an experienced political wrestler in Shays.
-
McMahon arrives ringside with her husband Vince and daughter Stephanie along with her husband son-in-law Paul Levesque.
-
…McMahon whips Shays into the corner…Levesque with the boot!  He’s in the ring…PEDI-…er…DOUBLE UNDERHOOK FACEBUSTER!  McMahon covers…1…2…3.
-
WINNER: Linda McMahon (R) @ 1:15
-
It’ll be McMahon versus Chris Murphy (D) at PCW Extreme Election Night 2012 coming up in November.
-
Barack Obama (D-IL) Promo
Obama expresses his thanks for the opportunity to tell PCW why he should be given a second term as CEO.   He says that Mitt Romney is a successful businessman and the last thing we need is a successful businessman in charge of PCW.  Romney doesn’t care about people like he cares about people and rich people should be happy to surrender more of their income in taxes because they’re nothing more than greedy bloodsuckers who make money and build businesses thanks to the federal government.
-
BACKSTAGE
Joe ‘The Big F’n Deal’ Biden (D-DE) tells Eric Holder and the Department of Justice that nothing better happen during the PCW Title Match because ‘the Republicans would put y’all back in chains.’
-
Suave: “Huh?”
-
(4) PCW TITLE MATCH:
PCW Champion The Sanderman (D) vs. ‘The Japanese SuperDestroyer’ Yamamoto Tanaka (R)

During the introductions, William Daniels Bryan and Charlie Blackwell lead a group of Independent/Non-Affilated political wrestlers including Mike the Mechanic, Mitch Thomas, and Brad Company to the ring.
-
Where’s Holder and the DoJ?
-
BACKSTAGE
Watching as Democrat Doug Wilder and Republican surrogate Artur Davis along with John McCain (R-AZ) and ‘The Alaskan Pitbull’ Sarah Palin (R-AK) argue with Biden over what his ‘chains’ remark a few minutes back.
-
CNN Political Ticker- Wilder, McCain, Palin join criticism of Biden
-
Then PCW CEO Barack Obama and Cory Booker (D-NJ) join in…
-
CNN Political Ticker- Obama, Booker Defend Biden ‘Chains’ Remark
-
Biden says that’s not what he meant and then the argument turns heated as the show ends.
-
OUTSIDE THE ARENA
Heartland Champion Dawn McGill holds up the PCW Women’s title belt.   She said she was screwed out of this very belt over two weeks ago when Jill Berg (R) joined the match in progress and was declared the champion.  Tonight, she did the same thing and what- nothing.  McGill says Democrats and Republicans both run PCW at the expense of everyone else and again, she is drawing a line in the sand and starting a revolution to bring common sense back to PCW.
-
McGill: “Want your belt back, Jill?  Come get it.”
-
McGill tosses the Women’s belt into the dumpster and exits as the show ends.
-

Monday, August 13, 2012

Republican vs. Democrat Showdown: PCW Night of Champions Preview

With the final piece of the puzzle in place as Paul Ryan (R-WI) took his place along side ‘The Massachusetts RedBlood Mitt Romney (R-MA), PCW will convene this Wednesday night as Night of Champions hits the airwaves.
-
Three big title matches going into the Fall campaign.
-
Women’s Title Match:
Women’s Champion Jill Berg (R) vs. Code Pink (D)
-
The Democrats, led by Nancy Pelosi (D-CA), want back what they feel is rightfully theirs.  PCW Women’s Champion Jill Berg believes she is setting a new standard for all women to aspire to.  This Wednesday evening, we’ll find out just who’s vision will win out as Berg defends the Women’s title against Code Pink.
-
Tag Team Title Match:
Tag Team Champions Scott Walker’s Rangers: John and Ronnie Walker (R) vs. Big Union:’The Self Described Savior of the Middle Class’  Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker (D)
-
This has match of the night written all over it.  Scott Walker’s Rangers knocked off Big Union in Wisconsin on June 5th to take the tag team belts and ‘King of the Unions’ Richard Trumka has vowed to do everything in his power to get the belts back.  Add Paul Ryan to the mix and this match could be explosive as both sides are gunning for this one big time.

PCW Title Match:
PCW Champion The Sanderman (D) vs. ‘The Japanese SuperDestroyer’ Yamamoto Tanaka (R)
-
After saying that he wasn’t going to wrestle until Wednesday night, the PCW Champion appeared on the Blue Brand hour last Thursday in a final tune up for Wednesday’s showdown with the Japanese SuperDestroyer.  Democrats continue to claim that Mitt Romney has outsourced the Red Brand title with Tanaka as champion and now wants to do the same for the PCW title.
-
Romney calls The Sanderman a ‘paper champion’ who refuses to defend the title because, like many Democrats, he feels ‘entitled’ to hold the belt.
-
Is this the night Tanaka becomes a four time PCW Champion?  Or will The Sanderman pull out the victory and retain the title?
-
All will be revealed this Wednesday at PCW Night of Champions.
-

Saturday, August 11, 2012

Paul Ryan (R-WI) is Romney’s Choice

In advance of tonight’s Red Brand show in Norfolk, Virginia, Republican Mitt Romney (R-MA) formally announced this morning that his choice for aide de camp is Wisconsin‘s Paul Ryan (R).
‘The Voice of PCW’ Johnny Suave commented:
“It’s definitely on.  The Republican Establishment versus the Left Wing Activists of the Democrats.   The big question will be this: where will the Independents/Non-Aligned fall? “
Ryan cut a promo this morning.
We won’t duck the tough issues…we will lead!  We won’t blame others…we will take responsibility!  We won’t replace our founding principles…we  will reapply them!  We will honor you, our fellow citizens, by giving you the right and opportunity to make the choice:  What kind of country do we want to have?  What kind of people do we want to be?  We can turn this thing around. Real solutions can be delivered. But, it will take leadership. And the courage to tell you the truth.”
The Obama camp’s response:
“In naming Paul Ryan, Mitt Romney has chosen a leader of the Republicans who shares his commitment to the flawed theory that new budget-busting tax cuts for the wealthy, while placing greater burdens on the middle class and seniors, will somehow deliver a stronger economy. The architect of the radical Republican House budget, Ryan, like Romney, proposed an additional $250,000 tax cut for millionaires, and deep cuts in education from Head Start to college aid. His plan also would end Medicare as we know it by turning it into a voucher system, shifting thousands of dollars in health care costs to seniors. As a member of the PCW Competition Committee, Ryan rubber-stamped the reckless Bush economic policies that exploded our deficit and crashed our economy. Now the Romney-Ryan ticket would take us back by repeating the same, catastrophic mistakes.”
PCW Independent and anti partisan William Daniels Bryan had this to say:
Republicans and Democrats seem to believe that, if you will only legislate to make the well-to-do prosperous, to help their big money benefactors and special interest groups that somehow prosperity will leak through to those of us below.   Our contention is that you should plant the seeds at the very lowest level and grow prosperity up through every class which rests upon them. You come to us and tell us the Red Brand and Blue Brand travel all across this nation visiting great city after great city.    To paraphrase William Jennings Bryan: ‘We reply that the great cities rest upon our broad and fertile prairies. Burn down your cities and leave our farms, and your cities will spring up again as if by magic; but destroy our farms and the grass will grow in the streets of every city in the country.’
So now the ticket is set for November’s PCW Extreme Election Night 2012:
Democrats- PCW CEO Barack Obama (D-IL) and Joe ‘The Big F’n Deal’ Biden (D-DE)
vs.
Republicans- ‘The Massachusetts Redblood” Mitt Romney (R-MA) and Paul Ryan (R-WI)

Romney Hood, Bain, and ‘The Candidate’ Zach Galifianakis: PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN Recap


PCW Politics is War Recap
Thursday August 9th, 2012
Richmond, VA

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RICHMOND, VA — Democrats unveiled their new wrestler Romney Hood (D) last night on PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN but it was actor Zach ‘The Candidate’ Galifianakis who provided the distraction as Hood and Bain (D)
-

-
Bain- a business created by Bain & Company, uses its extensive network, sector expertise and business screening capabilities to identify attractive small to mid-cap investment opportunities for its private equity investment partners.

 -
Not…
-

Bane- (legally trademarked character of Marvel Comics)
 -
…defeated the well-financed Coke Brothers (R) in Thursday night’ s main event.  PCW Executive Committee Chair Harry Reid (D-NV) also lent some interference…
-
[David Coke gouges Bain's eyes and takes him down.  Reid jumps into the ring and distracts him.  Romney Hood hiptosses D. Coke.  He gets drilled with an inverted back breaker and then Bain tiger suplexes him.  Charles Coke hits a  jumping neck snap on Hood.  But Bain hits a huge gutbuster  on Charles and then uses a swinging DDT to plant David's head into the mat. 
-
Zach Galfianakisi at the ring now and for some unexplicable reason the Cokes are jawing at him.  Hood blasts David with a chair.   Bain covers...1...2...3]
-
So with the win, PCW CEO Barack Obama (D-IL) continues to keep challenger Mitt Romney (R-MA) off balance and playing catch up.
-
The Red Brand Main Event saw a three way dance taped in Columbia, Missouri Tuesday night between Republican’s Todd Akin, John Brunner, and Sarah Steelman.
-
With Democrat Claire McCaskill on hand to see who she’ll be facing off against at PCW Extreme Election Night 2012, the match saw both Brunner and Steelman dominate the action while Akin hung back and stayed clear.   Brunner frustrated both Akin and Steelman with his tactics but first ‘The Alaskan Pitbull’ Sarah Palin (R-AK) ran in to assist Steelman.  Then Mike Huckabee (R-AR) ran in and helped tip the balance to Akin in the end.
-
Akin now faces McCaskill at PCW Extreme Election Night in November.
-
Another big Republican battle yet to be concluded is the Connecticut showdown between Christopher Shays and Linda McMahon.  Winner gets Chris Murphy (D) in November at Extreme Election Night 2012.
-
Shays has the experience.  McMahon has (NOTE: reported without violating WWE trademarks!)…
-
[...here comes Triple...er McMahon's son-in-law Paul Levesque!  Shays tries to get out of Dodge.  Triple...er...Levesque grabs him...bends him forward...double underhooks the arms...PEDI-...we mean...DOUBLE UNDERHOOK FACEBUSTER!...]
-
…as well as her husband, WWE’s Genetic Jackhammer himself- Vince McMahon in her corner.   If she gets past Shays, can she avoid what happened in 2010 against Richard Blumenthal (D-CT)?
-
McMahon back in action…she goes for a knockout kick. Blumenthal ducks, spins her around, and slaps on the sleeper hold.
-
Suave- SLEEPER! SLEEPER HOLD!
-
McMahon tries to reach the ropes but Blumenthal keeps her right in the center of the ring.
-
Suave- McMAHON’S IN TROUBLE! SHE’S TOO FAR FROM THE ROPES…Oh, no.
-
Levesque pulls out a sledgehammer and climbs up on the apron behind Blumenthal. He climbs into the ring and raises the sledgehammer. Levesque swings…Blumenthal ducks at the last second…and McMahon gets it.
-
Suave- HOLY CRAP!
-
Levesque can’t believe it. Mrs. Levesque can’t believe it. McMahon’s out cold. Blumenthal makes the cover…one…two…three.
-
WINNER: Richard Blumenthal (D) @ 11:49
-
Levesque checks on Linda. Then he glares at Blumenthal who wisely decides to make haste to the back.
-
Current TV’s Al Gore (D-TN) made an appearance Thursday night in his own imitable way…
-
[*Fleetwood Mac‘s “Don’t Stop” begins to play*
-

‘The Extreme Environmental Hardcore Icon’ Al Gore (D)
-
Suave: “IT’S HIM! HE’S HERE! THE TREE HUGGIN’, MOCHA CHUGGIN’, TOBACCO COMPANY BUGGIN’ ALPHA MALE AND ENVIROMENTAL EXTREME HARDCORE ICON…
-
The crowd sings the chorus “Don’t stop, thinking about tomorrow.” Gore holds up his mocha, inside an environmentally friendly biodegradable container of course, and chugs it down. Then he spews it out of his mouth into the crowd and then crushes the paper container on his forehead in a manly fashion.
-
The Environmental Extreme Hardcore Icon walks down the steps to the main floor. At the bottom of the steps, Gore pulls out another container of mocha, guzzles it down, spews it into the crowd, and then smashes the container on his forehead. Gore then wades through the main floor crowd to the ring.  He climbs up on the apron, pulls out yet another cup of mocha, guzzles that one down, spews it into the crowd, and then smashes the container on his forehead.
-
Gore in the ring.
-
Gore: “I’m pleased to be participating in Current TV’s impressive lineup throughout the Republican and Democratic national conventions.
-
And with that, Gore leaves.
-
Suave: “And that was a lot about nothing…”
-
Other happenings on the show:
-
William Daniels Bryan and the PCW Independent/Non-Aligned contingent invaded the show and took to the ring.  Bryan then asked a series of questions to the crowd about the Democrats and Republicans and answered them all by shouting “NO…NO…NO!”  Bryan then repeated that the partisans on both sides will not crucify average Americans and PCW workers upon a ‘belt of gold’- again placing his hands to his temples with his fingers extended and extending his arms to his sides straight out to his body- holding the pose for several seconds.
-
Both Obama and Romney camps brainstorm on ways and ideas to attract the Independents and persuade them to join their cause.
-Obama decides to go on a full guns, personal assault on Romney.
-And  Romney goes full guns, personal assault on Obama’s full guns, personal assault on him.
-
Suave: “And people wonder why the frustration with both parties are at an all time high.”
-
Republican strategists also met with Romney to go through his final short list for his aide de camp: Tim Pawlenty (R-MN), Chris Christie (R-NJ), Paul Ryan (R-WI), Rob Portman (R-OH) and Bobby Jindal (R-LA).
-
The Jersey Boyz (Vinnie and Frankie) w/Christie in their corner def. Sam Ford and Son.  Sam Ford went Fred Sanford and tried to fake a heart attack in the ring- Vinnie and Frankie spiked him with the Greetings from Asbury Park (double over the shoulder reverse piledriver) for the win.
-
Even with the Jersey Boyz impressive win, the Republican Establishment came out of a meeting with Romney talking about Portman and Ryan.
-
‘King of Labor’ Richard Trumka vowed to put 300,000 union feet on the ground to help Big Union (Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker) regain the PCW Tag Team Title belts from Scott Walker (R-WI) and his Rangers (Ronnie and John Walker).
-
Then Trumka watched as Big Union defeated the Main Street Mafia (Brian King and Russ Smith with help from Larry the Longshoreman.
-
PCW Women’s Champion Jill Berg (R) and Miss USA vs. Code Pink and Emily S List goes to a no contest due to interference on all sides.  Code Pink does manage to hit Berg with a Glitter Bomb in the post match fracas before PCW Security finally separated both sides.
-
Big Oil (R) destroyed Average Joe and then celebrated the rising gasoline prices that was ‘putting more money into his pockets.’
-
PCW Champion The Sanderman (D) tuned up for his title defense against ‘Japanese SuperDestroyer’ Yamamoto Tanaka (R) by defeating Jobber the Hut.
-
Final PCW Night of Champions Card for Wednesday Night’s Big Show:
-
Women’s Title Match:
Women’s Champion Jill Berg (R) vs. Code Pink (D)
-
Tag Team Title Match:
Tag Team Champions Scott Walker’s Rangers: John and Ronnie Walker (R) vs. Big Union:’The Self Described Savior of the Middle Class’  Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker (D)
-
PCW Title Match:
PCW Champion The Sanderman (D) vs. ‘The Japanese SuperDestroyer’ Yamamoto Tanaka (R)
-
Red Brand Shows This Weekend:
Saturday- Norfolk, VA
-BIG MITT ROMNEY ANNOUCEMENT!
Sunday- Huntington, WV
-
Blue Brand Shows This Weekend:
Saturday- Albany, NY
Sunday- Philadelphia, PA
-
Independent/Non-Aligned Shows This Weekend:
Saturday- Marion, OH
Sunday- Chillicothe, OH
-

Thursday, August 09, 2012

Suave: "What the Hell is Going On Here?"

The Voice of PCW Johnny Suave commented about the stunning turn of events on PCW Extreme Political TV the past two weeks.
-
July 30th Edition-PCW Extreme Political TV--Dawn McGill Throws Down the Gauntlet
McGill: Ladies and gentlemen, there are good people in this room who’ve been left behind as Democrats and Republicans both run PCW at their expense. They don’t want two parties to dominate PCW against the greater good. They don’t want political gamesmanship to trump doing what’s right for everyone. They don’t want PCW partisanship to keep them off the Red Brand and Blue Brand tours and away from opportunities to win title belts. If this is the path that both factions lead us, then the Democrats and Republican can both KISS MY ASS!
-
The crowd roars when McGill throws the former television title belt on the mat. McGill kneels and puts masking tape on the belt. Then she takes the sharpie and writes on it.
-
McGill: Let the Republicans and Democrats take their titles. Tonight is a night that I draw a line in the sand. Tonight, I start a revolution that will bring back common sense to PCW and stop putting Democrats and Republicans above all else. Tonight, let the new era begin: the era of a PCW of the people, by the people, and for the people. The era of the PCW Heartland Title!
-
She raised the title belt with PCW Heartland champion written on the masking tape covering up ‘television champion.’
-
McGill: This is the only title that matters. The ‘People’s’ title. The PCW Heartland Title!
-
August 7th Edition-PCW Extreme Political TV
Daniel-San Becomes William Daniels Bryan
Daniel-San:
From this point forward, you can call me William Bryan. Daniel-San is no more. It is for the common man that I make my stand here tonight. They do not come as aggressors. Their war is not a war of conquest; they are fighting in the defense of our homes, our families, and posterity. They have petitioned, and their petitions have been scorned; they have entreated, and their entreaties have been disregarded; they have begged, and were mocked when their calamity came. We beg no longer; we entreat no more; we petition no more. We defy them!
-
Bryan pointed at Holder and held up the gold belt.
-
Bryan: We defy you! Having behind us the masses of this nation who support PCW, the laboring interests, and the toilers everywhere, we answer your demand for the return of this golden belt by saying to you: “You shall not press down upon the brow of labor this crown of thorns; you shall not crucify mankind for a belt of gold.”
-
Bryan threw the belt down at Holder’s feet and then placed his hands to his temples with his fingers extended. Then he extended his arms to his sides straight out to his body and held the pose for several seconds while the audience watched in dead silence.
-
Suave: With the Democrats and Republicans consolidating the titles in their respective camps, the Independents have essentially retaliated by taking over the PCW Extreme Political TV show. Now that PCW has fractured into three distinct shows, it’ll be interesting to see how both Obama and Romney react. Will they both try to reach out and bring the independents back into their fold? Or are we going to be treated to a three way war going into November’s PCW Extreme Election Night 2012?
-
Stay tuned.
-
Tonight on PCW Politics is War:
-Big Missouri Republican 3 Way Dance for shot at Claire McCaskill (D-MO) in November at PCW Extreme Election Night 2012
-Republicans Linda McMahon and Christopher Shays (R-CT) face off
-Is Mitt Romney (R-MA) any closer to choosing his aide de camp candidate?
-Fallout from the PCW Independent revolt.
-

Bryan's 'Belt of Gold' Speech Rocks PCW

PCW Extreme Political TV Recap
Monday August 6th, 2012
Host: Johnny Suave

-
The show opened with Suave running down the card for next week’s PCW Night of Champions:
-
Women’s Title Match:
Women’s Champion Jill Berg (R) vs. Code Pink (D)
-
Tag Team Title Match:
Tag Team Champions Scott Walker’s Rangers: John and Ronnie Walker (R) vs. Big Union:’The Self Described Savior of the Middle Class’  Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker (D)
-
PCW Title Match:
PCW Champion The Sanderman (D) vs. ‘The Japanese SuperDestroyer’ Yamamoto Tanaka (R)
-
Last Thursday Night on PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN
Obama wants to know who Dawn McGill thinks she is.  The belt belongs to PCW and he intends to get it back.  Obama brings out Eric Holder and the Department of Justice (D).   Holder pledges to retrieve the old Television belt back from McGill and tells the DoJ to go after her.
Obama tells Holder to wait and brings out some additional muscle in the form of the Chicago Boss Squad: Charlie Ranck and Pete Fyle (D).  Holder, the DoJ, and the CBS then leave.
-
The crowd boos as Eric Holder and the Department of Justice (D), The Chicago Boss Squad (D), Daniel-San (D), and Bain (D) all walk out.  Holder says they’ve come to this glorified bingo hall with one thing in mind- the retrieval of the former PCW Television Title belt.
-
Holder says “Heartland Champion” Dawn McGill can have do it the easy way or the hard way.  She can either do the right thing and return the title belt or the DoJ, CBS, Daniel-San and Bain will tear this place apart looking for it.
-
(1) Halitosis- ‘The Insanely Foul Breathing Luchador’ w/Mrs. Miyagi def. SNAFU
-
http://politicalwrestling.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/halitosis.jpg?w=109&h=156
Halitosis and Mrs. Miyagi
-
After some good action, SNAFU locked Halitosis in the Cobra Clutch.  Mrs. Miyagi ran in and paintbrushed SNAFU.  Then Halitosis used his dreaded ‘breath of death’ and scored the pin.
-
Backstage
The DoJ and Chicago Boss Squad stand over a laid out Tom Tebow- Tim Tebow’s Long Lost Black Sheep Brother and ‘Sparkly Vampire’ Edward Collen.
-
They leave the pair in a heap on the floor.  Seconds later, Kristen Stewart runs up to Collen and tearfully apologizes for her affair with the director of Snow White and the Huntsman- that is until she realizes it’s not Robert Pattinson on the floor.
-
Stewart kicks him in the balls for good measure and skulks off.
-
(2) Dan Van Dam vs. Baron Von Munchke of the Old School Kings

PCW Blue Brand Champion
Road Rage Randy (Triple R) (D)
-

Triple R (D) is also in the building tonight. He hits the ring and destroys them with cane shots and that’s the match.   He’s pissed about what happened last Thursday night in London.   He blames moderate Democrats for not ‘nutting’ up and having his back to stop PCW Red Brand Champion Yamamoto Tanaka (R) from hitting the Japanese SuperDestroyer on him.
-
Backstage
The DoJ and CBS continue to leave a path of destruction in the independent’s locker room.  Mitch Thomas- American Taxpayer and Brad Company are lying on the floor along with the Tea Party’s Average Joe and ‘Tin Cup’ Ray McAvay.
-
(3) Miss USA vs. ‘The King of Old School Sales’ Steve Torino
This one doesn’t get off the ground because the DoJ and CBS hit the ring and destroy Torino.  Miss USA had least had the good sense to get out of Dodge when she saw trouble coming.
Finally, Heartland Champion Dawn McGill…
-

Dawn McGill
-
…comes to the ring with Charlie Blackwell and Mike the Mechanic, Andrea Doria and the Politically Incorrect (NRA, Nic Koteen, and Al Cahall).
-
McGill holds up the PCW Television…I mean…the Heartland Title belt and glares at the DoJ.  She calls the DoJ ‘lackeys’ sent here to do the ‘dirty work’ for  PCW management.  McGill tells them they’ve got their own show on Thursday nights but yet they come here to ruin the independent’s show?  It just goes to show how Democrats and Republicans don’t respect anything more than their own selfish self-interest.
-
Eric Holder walks out and tells McGill to hand over the belt…or else.   McGill tells Holder to come and get it.  The DoJ attack and it’s on.
-
(4) The Department of Justice and Chicago Boss Squad (D) vs. Heartland Champion Dawn McGill, Charlie Blackwell, Mike the Mechanic, and Al Cahall
After a solid opening that actually almost featured actual wrestling, the match  spills into the crowd.   McGill dives into the pile and they brawl into the concession area.  Blackwell gets busted open.  The DoJ run wild.  Mike the Mechanic fights off Pete Fyle of the CBS but is distracted and gets jumped by a returning Daniel-San and Bain (D).
-
Bain BELLY TO BELLY on Mike and throws him into the guardrail.  Bain drops Mike onto the ring announcer’s table and brings in several chairs. Bain drills Mike with a chair and busts him open.  Miss USA runs out and Patriot Missile dropkicks Bain’s leg.  Holder taunts the booing crowd who suddenly cheers when Miss USA blast Bain with the chair.  Bain then throws Miss USA out into the crowd.
-
Blackwell goes up to the balcony and dives off onto DoJ 1 on the floor.  Blackwell hits him with a beer cup and nails him with a chair twice.
-
Charlie Ranck hits a Drop Toehold on McGill and drives her into the turnbuckle.  The DoJ dumps Blackwell and Mike the Mechanic over the top rope through the table below.  Al Cahall then gets tossed out.  McGill up but she gets speared by DoJ 2.
-
Fans chant “Jill Berg?”  Not in the building tonight.
-
Holder back in the ring and tells Daniel-San to go get the belt.  McGill tries to get up but DoJ 1 throws her back down.  Daniel-San retrieves the belt and Holder tells him to bring it over to him.  Daniel-San looks at the belt and Holder again tells him to bring the belt to him.  Daniel-San eventually walks over to Holder- and blasts him in the face with the belt!
-
Suave: HOLY CRAP!
-
Daniel-San goes nuts and mows through DoJ 1 and 2, Ranck and Fyle, and then Bain.   Blackwell, Mike the Mechanic, Cahall, and the rest of Politically Incorrect back in the ring now.  Daniel-San takes the microphone.
-
Daniel-San: From this point forward, you can call me William Bryan.  Daniel-San is no more.  It is for the common man that I make my stand here tonight.  They do not come as aggressors.  Their war is not a war of conquest; they are fighting in the defense of our homes, our families, and posterity.  They have petitioned, and their petitions have been scorned; they have entreated, and their entreaties have been disregarded; they have begged, and were mocked when their calamity came.  We beg no longer; we entreat no more; we petition no more. We defy them!
-
Bryan pointed at Holder and held up the gold belt.
-
Bryan: We defy you!  Having behind us the masses of this nation who support PCW, the laboring interests, and the toilers everywhere, we  answer your demand for the return of this golden belt by saying to you: “You shall not press down upon the brow of labor this crown of thorns; you shall not crucify mankind for a belt of gold.”
-
Bryan threw the belt down at Holder’s feet and then placed his hands to his temples with his fingers extended.  Then he extended his arms to his sides straight out to his body and held the pose for several seconds while the audience watched in dead silence.
-

Saturday, August 04, 2012

Romney a Wimp?/Boris Johnson Hung Up/And oh yeah, Pippa- PCW Goes NBC Tape Delay

PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN Recap- NBC Tape Delay Version
Thursday July 26th, 2012

O2 Arena
London, England
Announcer: ‘The Voice of PCW’ Johnny Suave

Big show. Two number one contender’s matches.

Tag Team:
Big Union: ‘The Self Described Savior of the Middle Class’ Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker (D) vs. Corporate Might: Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit (R)
-winner faces PCW Tag Team Champions Scott Walker’s Rangers (R) at PCW Night of Champions

PCW Title:
PCW Blue Brand Champion Triple R (D) vs. PCW Red Brand Champion ‘The Japanese SuperDestroyer’ Yamamoto Tanaka (R)
-winner meets PCW Champion The Sanderman (D) at Night of Champions

Hour One

Commemorating PCW’s first ever trip overseas, London Mayor Boris Johnson came in over the O2 Arena on a zip line. Only one problem.


“Erm…could someone give me a push?”

While Mayor Johnson hung in the air over the ring, PCW CEO Barack Obama (D-IL) came to the ring with his aide de camp Joe ‘The Big F’n Deal’ Biden (D-DE) to address a pair of topics.

First, the PCW Women’s Title. Obama doesn’t remember new women’s champion Jill Berg (R) being booked in the match. He doesn’t know how she ended up in the match. But somehow, she left with the PCW Women’s title.

Replay: 3 Way Dance for PCW Women’s Title
Dawn McGill vs. Miss USA vs. Code Pink (D)

Jill Berg hits the ring from the crowd. She rolls in…

Suave: BUZZSAW KICK TO CODE PINK. SPEAR TO EMILY S LIST!

JILLLL-BERG chants start. Golatta turns to Triple R. He rears back with his right hand…FOUL POLE!

Suave: HOLY CRAP!

Triple R drops to his knees and crumples over. Jill Berg covers McGill. 1…2…3. Berg covers Code Pink.

Suave: I DON’T BELIEVE IT!

Pelosi and O’Neill try to get into the ring but Golatta blocks their way. 1…2…3!

WINNER @ 21:05 AND NEW PCW WOMEN’S CHAMPION: Jill Berg (R)

Obama says he’ll deal with Golatta later. He could cry like the Mitt Romney campaign has been crying over Bain (D)…



Bain- a business created by Bain & Company, uses its extensive network, sector expertise and business screening capabilities to identify attractive small to mid-cap investment opportunities for its private equity investment partners.

Not…


Bane- (legally trademarked character of Marvel Comics)

…wreaking havoc with the Republicans. But he’s not that kind of guy. Instead, Obama makes another ‘executive decision’ and books Jill Berg to face Code Pink at PCW Night of Champions in less than two weeks to settle the PCW Women’s Title.

Next on the agenda, Obama addresses what happened after the match…

McGill: Ladies and gentlemen, there are good people in this room who’ve been left behind as Democrats and Republicans both run PCW at their expense. They don’t want two parties to dominate PCW against the greater good. They don’t want political gamesmanship to trump doing what’s right for everyone. They don’t want PCW partisanship to keep them off the Red Brand and Blue Brand tours and away from opportunities to win title belts. If this is the path that both factions lead us, then the Democrats and Republican can both KISS MY ASS!

The crowd roars when McGill throws the former television title belt on the mat. McGill kneels and puts masking tape on the belt. Then she takes the sharpie and writes on it.

McGill: Let the Republicans and Democrats take their titles. Tonight is a night that I draw a line in the sand. Tonight, I start a revolution that will bring back common sense to PCW and stop putting Democrats and Republicans above all else. Tonight, let the new era begin: the era of a PCW of the people, by the people, and for the people. The era of the PCW Heartland Title!

Obama wants to know who Dawn McGill thinks she is. The belt belongs to PCW and he intends to get it back. Obama brings out Eric Holder and the Department of Justice (D). Holder pledges to retrieve the old Television belt back from McGill and tells the DoJ to go after her.

Obama tells Holder to wait and brings out some additional muscle in the form of the Chicago Boss Squad: Charlie Ranck and Pete Fyle (D). Holder, the DoJ, and the CBS then leave.

(1 )Big Union: ‘The Self-Described Savior of the Middle Class’ Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker (D) def. Corporate Might: Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit in the first #1 contender’s match of the night

As promised, Eric Holder’s Department of Justice (D) did most of the heavy lifting in this match and cleared the way for Big Union’s victory and a title shot against PCW Tag Team Champions Scott Walker’s Rangers: John and Ronnie Walker (R) at PCW Night of Champions.

PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein interviews Attorney Wick Sollers, representing former Penn State football coach Joe Paterno‘s family. Sollers states the Paternos want to appeal the NCAA’s penalties against Penn State, the community, and most of all, Joe Paterno’s legacy.


Sollers:“This matter may be the most important disciplinary action in the history of the NCAA, and it has been handled in a fundamentally inappropriate and unprecedented manner. To severely punish a University and its community and to condemn a great educator, philanthropist and coach without any public review or hearing is unfair on its face and a violation of NCAA guidelines.”

*Def Leppard’s Tear It Down plays*


‘The Extreme Equalizer’ Whiskey Tango Foxtrot

Suave: IT’S THE EXTREME EQUALIZER- WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT!

Tear it down – There’s got to be a better way
Tear it down – I can’t wait another day
Tear it down – There’s got to be a better way
Tear it down – If only you could stay
All night long

Crowd: What the @#$#!…What the @!##!

Extreme Equalizer Whiskey Tango Foxtrot races down the aisle to the ring. Sollers tries to escape but WTF pulls him back to the middle of the ring

Kick to the balls. Lift. Chokeslam.

Crowd: PCW!…PCW!…PCW!…

WTF then calls for a pair of tables. He sets them up on top of each other in the ring. He lifts Sollers up and climbs to the top turnbuckle in the corner. WTF then powerbombs Sollers through both tables.

Crowd: PCW!…PCW!…PCW!…

Jay Paterno then runs out. Kick to the balls. Lift. Chokeslam.

Crowd: PCW!…PCW!…PCW!…

(2) Code Pink and Emily S List (D) def. the Cheatin’ Indonesian Badminton Team

For some reason, the Cheatin’ Indonesian Badminton Team didn’t put forth a lot of effort to win the match- it was almost like they were deliberately losing on purpose. Pink gets the Fickle Finger of Doom at 15 seconds into the match to get the pinfall and the win.

Next, the ‘Alaskan Pitbull’ Sarah Palin (R-AK) walks down the ramp like a baseball food vendor with a box full of Chic-Fil-A chicken to hawk.

(3) Starz N. Stripes (R) def. ‘The Asset’ Lou Jason Bourne

‘The Asset,’ over 300 pounds, big bellied, and clearly past his prime, sparkles for the first two seconds of the match before Starz puts him away with the American Stars and Fujiwara ArmBar.

Hour Two

Actor Clint Eastwood hits the ring and declares his support for ‘The Massachusetts Red Blood’ Mitt Romney.


Eastwood:“In the early 2000s, I was making the film ‘Mystic River’ in Massachusetts. At that time, Gov. Romney was running for governor. I said, ‘God, this guy is too handsome to be governor, but he does look like he could be the PCW CEO.’ As the years have gone by, I’m beginning to think even more so that. He’s going to restore a decent tax system that we need badly so that there is a fairness and people are not pitted against one another of whose paying taxes and who isn’t.”

Romney then joins Eastwood in the ring and heartily shakes his hand. Then porn star Jenna Jameson runs in and joins them.

Jameson:“Mitt Romney is a politician who I can embrace!”

Jameson then tries to embrace Romney who quickly slides under the ropes and high tails it from the ring.

Newsweek’s Michael Tomasky runs out.

Tomasky: See? SEE! I told you Romney was a wimp!

Suave: “Not sure I would have run away…from that…she is a porn star you know.”

Meanwhile…


“Seriously…could someone please give me a push?”

While below…




Pippa Middleton dances for the PCW crowd.

All is well.

(4) The SoCal Clones: Trapper Silk Iafrate from Sierra Madre and Bugaha Bill the Cabinatlion w/Jim Rahm def. The Goatbusters

What do you get when you combine the jungle gloss of sports talk host Jim Rome with the over the top profanity of Rahm Emanuel? Jim Rahm.

Rahm: Hello London. What the **** is up? This is ****ing EPIC! ****ing rack me!”

*Spooky music begins followed by a funky beat*

(sung to ‘Ghostbusters’)
If there’s something grazing
In your neighborhood
Who you gonna call
(Goatbusters)
If you see a herd
And it don’t look good
Who you gonna call
(Goatbusters)


I ain’t afraid of no Goat
I ain’t afraid of no Goat


If you’re seeing horns
Running through your yard
Who can you call
(Goatbusters)
If you have a goat
Sleeping in your bed
Oh, who you gonna call
(Goatbusters)


I ain’t afraid of no Goat
I ain’t afraid of no Goat


Who you gonna call
(Goatbusters)
If you’re all alone
Pick up the phone
And call
(Goatbusters)


I ain’t afraid of no Goat
I hear it likes the girls
I ain’t afraid of no Goat
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah


Who you gonna call
(Goatbusters)
If you’ve had a dose
Of a freaky Goat
Maybe you’d better call
(Goatbusters)


Let me tell you something
Bustin’ makes me feel good


I ain’t afraid of no Goat
I ain’t afraid of no Goat


The Goatbusters hit the ring and waste no time attacking the SoCal Clones. But the Clones do not get run- they get racked…or more succinctly, Bugaha Bill puts Ray Scantz in the rack for the submission win.

Rahm: RACK ME. I’M ****ING OUT!

In the event you missed this…and you pretty much have to be living in a cave to have missed this…

Main Event- #1 Contender’s Match for the PCW Title
PCW Red Brand Champion ‘The Japanese SuperDestroyer’ Yamamoto Tanaka (R)
vs.
PCW Blue Brand Champion Triple R (D)


Everyone’s out to watch the match. Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi for the Democrats. Mitch McConnell and John Boehner for the Republicans.

Triple R repeated charges at Tanaka. Tanaka uses his arsenal of big power moves to wear down the Blue Brand Champion.

Eric Holder and the Department of Justice (D) as well as Corporate Might: Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit repeatedly interfere in the match. They are joined by the Angry Left Wing Bloggers (Daily Kos Markos Moulitsas, ‘The Professor’ Paul Krugman, and Katrina Vanden Heuvel of the Nation) (D) and the Right Wing Brigadiers Glenn Beck, Laura Ingraham, and Rush Limbaugh (R) as both sides desperately try to win the match.

But in the end…

…Tanaka climbs to the top rope and nails Triple R with a reverse flying elbow drop. Suave: HOLY CRAP! Tanaka with a corkscrew legdrop and goes up top again- 5 Star Frog Splash.

The DoJ try to get to the ring but Corporate Might intercepts them. The Left Wing Bloggers and Right Wing Brigadiers brawl up the ramp. Tanaka pulls Triple R up to the top turnbuckle…JAPANESE SUPERDESTROYER! Tanaka goes for the pin…1 …2 …3

WINNER: Yamamoto Tanaka @ 20:15

The outside brawls continue. Tanaka celebrates in the ring with Mitt Romney and the Republican establishment.

PCW Champion The Sanderman (D) runs down with a chair and clocks Tanaka with it. Romney et al scatter from the ring as the Sanderman blasts Tanaka again with another chairshot as the show ends.

PCW Night of Champions

Women’s Title Match:Women’s Champion Jill Berg (R) vs. Code Pink (D)

Tag Team Title Match:Tag Team Champions Scott Walker’s Rangers: John and Ronnie Walker (R) vs. Big Union:’The Self Described Savior of the Middle Class’ Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker (D)

PCW Title Match:
PCW Champion The Sanderman (D) vs. ‘The Japanese SuperDestroyer’ Yamamoto Tanaka (R)

Oh, and as the lights go down for the final time at the O2 Arena tonight…


“Hello? Hello! Anyone?…”