Sunday, July 29, 2012

Charlie Sheen Wrestling? Been There-Done That- PCW Rewind

From:
PCW Extreme Political TV
Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon
Wauseon, OH
Monday March 7th, 2011
.
MATCH #2- THREE WAY DANCE FOR THE VACANT PCW TELEVISION TITLE
.

Big Oil (R) w/Texas Tex and ‘The Wall Street Pro with the Man-Crush on ESPN’s Kirk Herbstreit’ Kirk Walstreit
vs.

‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism w/The Skanky Rich Bimbos: Kim Carr-Skank-Sheehan, Courtney Carr-Skank-Sheehan, and Chloe Carr-Skank-Sheehan
vs.

Road Rage Randy (Triple R) w/The Angry Left Wing Bloggers: Professor Paul Krugman, Arianna Huffington, Markos Moultisas, and ‘FireDog Lake’ Jane Hamsher)
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Democrats Tim Kaine, Nancy Pelosi, and Harry Reid come to ringside and watch.
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The bell rings and we’re off.  Triple R and Chism surprisingly work together early and go to work on Big Oil.  Big Oil rebounds and goes to work on Chism.  Triple R takes an arm lock on Big Oil.  Big Oil throws Chism to the side and then knocks down Triple R.  Chism with a chairshot to the head and Big Oil goes to the floor.  He’s bleeding from the forehead.  Texas Tex is screaming loud.  Chism tosses Triple R into the ringpost.  Again. Chism rubs Triple R’s face along the ring ropes.  Chism tosses Triple R like a dart into the ringpost.  Chairshot to Triple R.  Triple R is on his back with his head sticking out of the ring.  Big Oil gets up and drops a elbow onto Triple R’s face.  Big Oil beats down Triple R on the floor.  Big Oil tosses him into the STEEEEEL steps.  Professor Paul Krugman jumps on Big Oil’s back and tries to choke him.  Big Oil flips him over and Krugman lands on the floor.  Big Oil grabs him by his tie and pulls him into the steel steps several times.  Krugman is broken open.
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Suave: “You know, for a smart person that was an incredibly dumb thing to do.”
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Triple R charges Big Oil.  Big Oil lifts him into the air and slams Triple R into the ringpost.  Big Oil stomps Triple R.  Texas Tex gives him his golden money belt and Big Oil whips Triple R with it.  Chism comes over and holds Triple R in place for a Big Oil chairshot.  Horrified at the Democrat on Democrat violence, Pelosi, Reid, and Kaine rush over and try to talk Chism out of helping Big Oil.  Meanwhile, Big Oil smashes the chair over and over again on Triple R.   Then he turns on Chism and blasts him with a chairshot.  Arianna, Hamsher, and Markos pep talk Triple R as he tries to peel himself off the floor.  Into the ring, Triple R gets off the mat and smiles.  Big Oil rolls back in and sets up Triple R up on the top rope.  Superplex off the top rope.  Big Oil covers.  Triple R somehow kicks out.
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Triple R with a low blow, and finally gets away from Big Oil.  Chism is also back in the ring.  He pushes Triple R into the corner.  Chism goes top rope and flies onto Big Oil.  He hooks the leg for 2.  Big Oil snaps Chism’s neck across the top rope.  Triple R from outside the ring runs and flies through the middle rope and hits Big Oil.  Three-way brawling in the ring.  Big Oil takes down Chism.  Triple R picks up a chair and whacks Big Oil in the head.  Big Oil now is bleeding profusely.  Triple R hits another chairshot and gets right in Big Oil’s face taunting him.  Chism pulls Triple R down and starts raining down punches on him.  Chism sends Triple R across the ring and right into Big Oil’s big hand.  Choke slam on the way to massive boos…Big Oil slams Triple R to the mat.  Now, it’s Oklahoma Driller time.   Pelosi and Reid plead for Chism to stop Big Oil.  Chism ignores them and watches Big Oil plant Triple R with the Oklahoma Driller.  Cover.  1…2…3.
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ELIMINATED: Triple R (D)
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The Angry Left Wing Bloggers are furious and complain to Pelosi and Reid.  Chism fights up and gets clotheslined by Big Oil.  Big Oil stalks Chism.  Stomps by Big Oil.   Big Oil pulls him to the mat with an arm drag.  Big Oil’s face is still dripping blood.  Big Oil lifts Chism up for the Oklahoma Driller, the three Carr-Skank-Sheehan girls hit the ring and whip off their tops.
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Suave:WARDROBE MALFUNCTION!  WARDROBE MALFUNCTION!”
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Big Oil hesitates!  Chism escapes and whips Big Oil into the corner.  Chism charges in for the splash, Big Oil gets a leg up.  Big Oil sets up for another Oklahoma Driller, Chism backdrops out of it.  DDT by Big Oil, cover for 2.  Big Oil has the CRIMSON MASK going.  Chism tries for the Hollywood Blockbuster.  Big Oil backs him into the corner and shoulderblocks him a few times. Ten punch count along!  Big Oil pulls Chism out of the corner, and hits the Oklahoma Driller on Chism.  That’s it.  Big Oil covers.   1…2…NO!   WHO?
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English: Charlie Sheen in March 2009.
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Sheen pulls the referee out of the ring and the crowd gasps.  There is blood everywhere in the ring.  Big Oil comes over and yells at Sheen.  Chism with a chair…*WHAP!*  Big Oil staggers.  Here comes Walstreit into the ring.  Chism reverses, and then tosses Walstreit onto his back.  *WHAP!*  Another chairshot to Big Oil.  Chism goes for the Hollywood Blockbuster…and he hits it!
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Suave: “HOLY CRAP!”
 .
Chism covers…1…2…3!
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WINNER AND NEW PCW TELEVISION CHAMPION: ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D) @ 15:35
 .
Charlie Sheen jumps into the ring and celebrates with Chism and the topless Skanky Rich Bimbos.
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Suave: “WHAT A MATCH!  AND CHARLIE ‘FREAKIN’ SHEEN HELPS GET CHISM OVER!”
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Saturday, July 28, 2012

100 Hundred Days to PCW Extreme Election Night 2012

With 100 days remaining before PCW biggest show, here are the matches signed already for November’s PCW Extreme Election Night 2008:
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Ohio- Sherrod Brown (D) vs. Josh Mandel (R)
Virginia- George Allen (R) vs. Tim Kaine (D)
Massachusetts- Scott Brown (R) vs. Elizabeth Warren (D)
Connecticut: Linda McMahon (R) versus Chris Murphy (D)
Missouri: Claire McCaskill (D) vs. winner of the Republican primary
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Plus:
PCW Title Match
PCW Women’s Title Match
PCW Tag Team Title Match
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And last, but not least, the decision:
PCW CEO Barack Obama (D-IL) or Mitt Romney (R-MA)
-

Friday, July 27, 2012

Romney Steps In It In London

PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN Recap
Thursday July 26th, 2012


Red Brand Show- Hour 1
Cincinnati, Ohio

The Red Brand rolled into the Queen City tonight and Kim Kardashian of all people started the show in the ring. The Cincinnati crowd booed her causing the reality show star to snap, “I’m more famous than Jennifer Aniston, Angelina Jolie and Gwyneth Paltrow combined.”

Kardashian:
I made a huge mistake and wasted my time marrying that no name and I’ll fix that by marrying Kanye. Besides, if Angelina Jolie can marry an A-lister then so can I!”

THUMP

THUMP

THUMP-THUMP-THUMP

The crowd stood as the phenomenon known as Jill-Berg appeared on the video screen.

THUMP

THUMP

THUMP-THUMP-THUMP

One of the policemen knocked on the door.

Policeman: “Ms. Berg. It’s time.”

The door opened and four large male bodybuilding types walked out of the dressing room with Jill Berg- busy talking on her cell phone while her assistant furiously scribbled down notes

THUMP

THUMP

THUMP-THUMP-THUMP

Kardashian looked pissed as the procession emerged from the back and started down the ramp.

Her assistant flipped on a portable tape recorder, “JILLLLL-BERG…JILLLLL-BERG…”

The processed then entered the ring. Kardashian took a step over and Jill Berg took her head off with a Buzzsaw Kick.

The crowd rose and gave Berg a standing ovation.

The other highlight from the Red show saw PCW Red Brand Champion Yamamoto Tanaka (R) defend the title against long time PCW stalwart and the ‘Original Rookie Sensation’ Starz N. Stripes.

Mitt Romney (R-MA) was not on hand tonight as he was busy in London pissing off British PM David Cameron with his critique of the Brit’s preparation for the 2012 Olympics. So it was Tanaka and Starz with the Red belt on the line. Who would leave the champion?

…Tanaka puts Starz on the turnbuckle- belly-to-belly superplex. Tanaka for the win…1…2…NO! He throws the Original Rookie Sensation out of the ring. Starz tries to get up…HE’S DECKED BY CORPORATE MIGHT’S BIG OIL!

Suave: “Guess who still has the backing of the Republican Establishment?”

Tanaka again climbs to the top rope- falling splash on Starz. Tanaka goes back up a second time- ANOTHER FALLING SPLASH! Big Oil gets involved- OKLAHOMA DRILLER ON THE FLOOR!. Tanaka waves Big Oil away and rolls Starz back into the ring. Tanaka drags him up to the top rope…JAPANESE SUPERDESTROYER! The ref starts the count. …1 …2 …3

So if there was any question about Tanaka continuing on as PCW Red Brand Champion after PCW CEO Barack Obama (D-IL) hammered Romney for ‘outsourcing the Red belt,’ it was answered tonight with Tanaka’s victory.

In London, Britain‘s PM David Cameron cut a promo on Mitt Romney’s suggestion that the Brits might not be ready to pull off a successful Olympic Games.

Cameron:“We are holding an Olympic Games in one of the busiest, most active, bustling cities anywhere in the world. Of course, it’s easier if you hold an Olympic Games in the middle of nowhere.”

In the other match from the Red Brand hour:

-Brian King of the Main Street Mafia def. ‘Sparkly Vampire’ Eddie Collen.

Even in defeat, Collen’s legions of prepubescent female fans flocked around him and followed him backstage. Collen seemed to enjoy the attention but still asked out loud in back:

Say, is there anyone in the group who’s above the age of eighteen? Anyone?

Salt Lake City Mayor Ralph Becker (D-UT) chimed in on the whole Romney-Britain with this response to David Cameron:

Mayor Becker:
I would gladly educate Cameron on all Salt Lake City has to offer, even providing a map “so he doesn’t run into any trouble locating the middle of nowhere.”

Blue Brand Show- Hour 2
Toledo, OH

Up the road in Toledo, Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) bragged to the Democrats on hand who she was trying to entice into contributing to the DCCC, that Code Pink (D) was going to ‘glitter bomb’ her way to the combined title.

Pelosi personally booked the match herself earlier in the week but would quickly realize that she had a problem when PCW Television Champion Dawn McGill, Women’s Champion Miss USA, and Ted E. Dangerously all appeared on a split screen with her- from the old ECW Arena in South Philadelphia, PA.

Pelosi angrily demanded to know why McGill and Miss USA weren’t there for the big match with several Democrats in the audience as special guests.

McGill told Pelosi and Code Pink to relax. Pelosi scolded Ted for being there when he’s suspended. Ted responded that he’s there to have their backs.

Ted:And let me tell you, they’re beautiful backs if you know what I mean!

McGill said this whole charade that Pelosi booked was for one thing- to get the belts off them and put it on a Democrat to make herself look good. Pelosi disputed her allegation. McGill told her that if they want a shot at the title they can come to one of the PCW Independent shows this weekend and try to get it.

Ted then brought out a six pack of beer and shared a drink with McGill.

The Eastern Powers: Foo Qu of China and Russian Sergei Sardominov attacked PCW Blue Brand Champion ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D) in the back and laid him out- putting Chism’s title defense against Triple R (D) in jeopardy.

But Triple R came out and said everyone has mistaken him for someone who gives a crap! Triple R then added that all the fat, out of shape, Lauderdale losers to give their utmost respect to the next PCW Blue Brand Champion- “ME!”

There was a huge row in the back about whether or not the match should take place. PCW Executive Committee Chief Harry Reid (D-NV) and Nancy Pelosi emerged and announced to the crowd that the match was on.

PCW Blue Brand Title Match: ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (c) vs. Triple R

…Both men back in. NO! It’s the Green World Order!



‘Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee! GreenPete! Radishing Rick Rube- Agronomist! PeaceNick! Peta from PETA! Lee and GreenPete pull Chism out of the ring and doubleteam whip the champion over the barricade right into the crowd! Radishing Rick busts a flower pot over Chism’s head and then the GWO return Chism to the ring.

Chism’s valets, the Skanky Rich Bimboes (Kim and Kourtney) rush the ring and gets dumped with a dual shoulder-breaker by Lee and GreenPete.

Moonsault by Triple R. He covers for the academic pinfall.

So, Triple R won one for the Democratic activists and is the NEW PCW Blue Brand Champion.

In other match results from the Blue Brand show:

-Paddy O’Kennedy defeated Entitlement Eric w/Extreme Plaintiff Attorneys Felcher and Felcher.

Felcher vowed to go to court to overturn O’Kennedy’s pin because PCW needs to “redistribute” the success of winning by allowing Entitlement Eric his opportunity to win after losing his last match.

R Felcher, Extreme Plaintiff Attorney:
“PCW should make sure that in every competition it is about Fairness Only, it should have nothing to do with Ability.”

PCW Shows This Weekend:

PCW Red Brand Shows:
Saturday- Greensboro, NC
Sunday- Richmond, VA

PCW Blue Brand Shows:
Saturday- Philadelphia, PA
Sunday- Trenton, NJ

PCW Independent Shows:Saturday- Johnstown, PA
Sunday- Elmira, NY

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Nancy Pelosi Books TV, Women's Title Consolidation Match: PCW Hotline

PCW Hotline
With ‘The Voice of PCW’ Johnny Suave


Johnny Suave
*

Tomorrow night’s PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN is shaping up to be a loaded show.
---------
First during the PCW Red Brand hour, it’s Yamamoto Tanaka (R) defending the PCW Red Brand title against ‘The Original Rookie Sensation’ Starz N. Stripes (R).
*
For a while, it appeared Tanaka could be in some jeopardy as PCW CEO Barack Obama (D-IL) peppered Republican Mitt Romney (R-MA) with jibes about ‘outsourcing the PCW Red belt to Japan.’  However, with Obama’s recent ‘you didn’t build that’ remark, Tanaka may be in good position to retain the belt and head into a number one contender’s match for the PCW Title.
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The Blue Brand hour will feature the big showdown between Blue Belt champion ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D) vs. Triple R (D).
*
This is a classic battle between the activist supporters of the Democrats who are behind Triple R and more moderate factions who are behind Chism.
---------
Finally, take two of the consolidation of the PCW Television and Women’s title will take place on the Blue Brand show as TV Champion Dawn McGill, Women’s Champion Miss USA, and Code Pink (D) are scheduled to meet in a 3 way dance booked personally by Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) and approved by PCW CEO Barack Obama.
*
Pelosi, struggling to raise funds for the Democrats push to regain control of the PCW Competition Committee at PCW Extreme Election Night 2012, is using the match as a showcase to entice Democratic members of the Competition Committee to ante up money for the DCCC effort.  The thought here is with Code Pink wrestling on the Blue Brand show; there's a good chance the Democrats will regain the Women's title tomorrow night.
*
The booking of the match on the Blue show effectively rules out a Jill Berg (R) run-in to disrupt the proceedings. 
*
The big question is: can McGill and Miss USA get a fair match at the Blue show?
--------

Ted E. Dangerously
*
Ted has been banned from BOTH shows, causing an uproar amongst the Independent ranks.
*
Also, appearances by :
-Bain (D)
-Charlie Blackwell, Mike the Mechanic, and the American Heartland Coalition.
*
Tomorrow night on PCW.

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

‘You Didn’t Build That’/Romney Rakes in the Cash

PCW Extreme Political TV
Monday July 23rd, 2012
Host: Johnny Suave

*10 bell tribute to astronaut Sally Ride*

*flute and clarinet flourish*

Two men come out and unroll a white carpet to the ring steps. Dancers then dance. Ballet dancers…ballet? Little children walk up the white carpet and drop rose petals. Someone lets loose some pigeons…we’re still not sure just how they’ll get out of the building. PCW CEO Barack Obama appears with his Aide de Camp Joe ‘the Big F-ing Deal’ Biden by his side.

*10 bell tribute to the Aurora, Colorado shooting victims*

Obama offers his sympathy to the Aurora victims and then gets down to business. Obama: “In lieu of some of the outrageous, over the top, antics that has occurred over the past couple weeks, and the accidental premature leak yesterday that PCW was doing away with the women’s division, I have made the executive order effective immediately. The PCW Television Title, held by Dawn McGill, is to be merged with the Women’s Title, held by Miss USA, in a title unification bout tonight.”

The crowd boos. Suave: “This sucks. Either way, they’re taking away another belt that was held by an Independent wrestler.”

Obama: “So, it will be Dawn McGill vs. Miss USA…vs. Code Pink (D)-”

The crowd again boos.

Obama: “…in a 3 way-” The crowd roars and drowns Obama out when…


PCW Television Champion Dawn McGill


PCW Women’s Champion Miss USA

…McGill and Miss USA appear on the ramp and walk to the ring. McGill: “Hold it. If this is a title unification match, why are you including Code Pink in the match? She’s not a champion. She’s never held a belt. She’s not entitled-” Obama: “If you’ve got a title, you didn’t win that. Someone else made that happen. Someone gave you the opportunity to win. Code Pink is now getting that same opportunity.”

Miss USA takes the mic. Miss USA: With all due respect, where were you when I spent countless weeks away from my husband to get my career started? Where were you on those cold winter nights when my car broke down in the middle of nowhere and I had to scramble to make the next show? You never came along to give me a ride. Where were you when I couldn’t pay my bills and had to borrow money from a bank to make my ends meet? Where were you when I had to leave my infant child to go back on the road because I can’t afford to stay home?”

McGill takes the microphone. McGill: Where were you, Mr. Obama, as I rehabbed my knee not once but twice after it was nearly blown off while serving this country so I could have the career of my choosing? You didn’t do that- I did. Not your sweat and blood- it was mine-”

Code Pink, Emily S. List, and Soccer Mom (D) hit the ring and attack McGill and Miss USA from behind. List climbs to the top of the turnbuckle and hits the diving headbutt on McGill. Code Pink DDTs McGill and Soccer Mom goes up top, yells “IT’S FOR THE CHILDREN!” and hits a frog splash. Then…

THUMP

THUMP

THUMP-THUMP-THUMP

The crowd stands and cheers. PCW CEO Obama decides it’s time to leave. He and Biden make a hasty exit.

THUMP

THUMP

THUMP-THUMP-THUMP

The video screen goes to just outside a dressing room in the back. A police escort is waiting at the door. One of the policemen knocks on the door.

Policeman: “Ms. Berg. It’s time.”

The door opens and large male bodybuilding types walk out of the dressing room surrounding a petite woman and her male assistant in the middle. Jill Berg (R) is busy talking on her cell phone while the man furiously scribbles down notes as the group makes their way towards the ring.

THUMP

THUMP

THUMP-THUMP-THUMP

The procession emerges from the back and starts their way down the ramp.

Her assistant has a microphone and a portable tape recorder. He flips it on.

“JILLLLL-BERG…JILLLLL-BERG…”

The group then continues towards the ring leaving the police escort behind.

“JILLLLL-BERG…JILLLLL-BERG…”

The twenty bodyguards assist Ms. Berg into the ring. She, her assistant, and two bodyguards immediately go to a corner.

“JILLLLL-BERG…JILLLLL-BERG…”

Berg continues to talk on her cell phone.

“JILLLLL-BERG…JILLLLL-BERG…”

The crowd rises to their feet when her bodyguards attack Code Pink, List, and Soccer Mom. Berg in- SPEAR! to Soccer Mom. Jackhammer Slam and that’s all for Soccer Mom. McGill gets her bearings back and nearly flips Code Pink with a lariat. McGill throws Pink right into a Buzzsaw Kick from Jill Berg. Miss USA climbs to the top rope and nails Emily S. List with a Patriot Missile Dropkick.

McGill and Miss USA then turn to Berg. Suave: “I think they’re going to shake hands.”

Berg then nails McGill with a Buzzsaw Kick. Her bodyguards attack Miss USA and hold her for another Buzzsaw Kick from Berg. Berg picks up the TV and Women’s Title and holds them in the air while pointing at herself.

Suave: “What the hell just happened here?”

BACKSTAGE
Self-help guru Tony Robbins, hot off his successful motivational seminar in San Jose, CA where 21 people received second or third degree burns on the soles of their feet after walking across a bed of hot coals,…

Suave: “You know, life is tough enough as it is. But it’s a whole lot tougher if you’re stupid.”

…is talking with Larry Fitch and giving him encouragement in his upcoming match against Big Oil (R). Robbins: “You can do this. There’s only…what…a foot and half difference between you and him height-wise. He only outweighs you by a hundred and fifty pounds. You beat him.” Fitch: “Really?” Robbins: “Yes. Yes, you can. Now, that’ll be $200.” Fitch hands him a check.

(1) Larry Fitch w/Tony Robbins vs. Big Oil (R) of Corporate Might w/Kirk Walstreit and CEO Gordon Guyko

Fitch runs right out and takes a swing. Big Oil swats him away. Choke Slam. Oklahoma Driller. Pin. Time: 0:23

Suave: “Well, he got his money’s worth.”

Suave then recapped the big match last week between Daniel-San and PCW Blue Brand Champion ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D) and the Syrian Assassins 1 and 2 with Bashar Assad.

Daniel-San had Syrian Assassin #1 in the LaBell Lock but out of nowhere, Eastern Powers Foo Qu of China and Russian Sergei Sardominov hit the ring and vetoed the Democrats submission. The match ended with an angry Hillary Clinton (D-NY) climbing up onto the ring apron and yelling at the Eastern Powers.

PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein talks with the Eastern Powers. Bernstein: “Where is Bashar Assad?” Foo Qu: “He’s not here.” Bernstein: “Is it true that he’s in hiding now?” Sardominov: “That’s just Western propaganda.

(2) Syrian Assassins 1 and 2 vs. Daniel-San and PCW Blue Brand Champion ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D)

While the Eastern Powers are talking with Bernstein, Daniel-San and Chism do a number on the Syrian Assassins. By the time Daniel-San once again slaps on the LaBell Lock on Syrian Assassin #2, it’s too late for the Eastern Powers to exercise their veto. Syrian Assassin #2 taps out.

After the match, the Eastern Powers rush to the ring much, much too late. Hillary Clinton climbs in and points to her temple to indicate that she’s outsmarted them.

BACKSTAGECorporate Might (Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit- Wall Street Market Analyst with the Man Crush on ESPN’s Kirk Herbstreit) push a wheelbarrow full of cash into Mitt Romney’s dressing room.

Inside the boiler room of the Obama campaign… Aide #1: “We’ve surpassed the amount of money we’ve brought in for the month.” Aide #2: “It doesn’t matter, keep spending.”

(3) Main Event- elimination match: Charlie Blackwell and Mike the Mechanic of the American Heartland Coalition vs. Corporate Might: Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit (R)

Winners meets Big Union (‘The Self Proclaimed Savior of the Middle Class’ Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker (D) to become the #1 contender for the PCW Tag Team Title.

…Big Oil measures Charlie Blackwell and drops a closed fist. Walstreit puts Blackwell in an arm grapevine submission. Mike the Mechanic in for the save. Now Big Oil with a fist drop, but Blackwell rolls away. He dives for the corner and tags in Mike the Mechanic.

Swinging neckbreaker on Big Oil. Vertical Facebuster on Kirk Walstreit. Mike climbs to the top of the turnbuckle, diving headbutt on Walstreit. Big Oil knees Mike the Mechanic from behind and drives him to the mat. New Jack gets back to his feet. Big Oil whips Mike off the ropes and hits him with a diving shoulder block. Neck breaker to Mike by Walstreit. He hooks the leg…1 …2…BLACKWELL WITH THE SAVE!

PCW Lead Attorney Eric Holder (D) and the Department of Justice (D) run out with Big Union: Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker and Bain (D). Justice 1 hits a high crossbody on Blackwell. Justice 2 tackles Mike the Mechanic to the mat. James the Jeep Work locks Walstreit in the Assembly Line submission. Big Oil, Big Labor with Bain brawl on the floor.

Big Labor shoulder tackles Big Oil. Bain then chokes Big Oil with a microphone cable. The DoJ simultaneously toss Blackwell and Mike the Mechanic from the ring. Suave: THE DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE IS NEUTRALIZING THE OPPOSITION! BUT WAIT!

The crowd roars when…


Ted E. Dangerously


PCW Television Champion Dawn McGill


PCW Women’s Champion Miss USA

…appear. Ted smashes a beer bottle over Big Labor’s head. McGill starts whacking everything in sight with a kendo stick. Miss USA goes top rope and delivers a Patriot Missile Dropkick that sends Justice 2 over the top rope and to the floor.

The camera cuts over to…Bain- under attack by Politically Incorrect (NRA, Nic Koteen, Al Cahall, and Andrea Doria) and the Common Sense Revolution (Mitch Thomas-American Taxpayer and Brad Company) PI and the CSR win the numbers game against Bain and then Ted blasts him over the head with another beer bottle as the show ends.

Sunday, July 22, 2012

All Sides Tone Down Rhetoric Over the Weekend After Aurora Shooting: PCW Update

In the aftermath of the Aurora, Colorado shootings, Republicans, Democrats, and Independents all ratcheted down the rhetoric at the various house shows this weekend.  All the shows began with a 10 bell tribute to the 12 dead and 59 people injured in the shooting.
*
Here are the current PCW Rankings:
*
PCW WORLD CHAMPION: The Sanderman (D)
#1 SINGLES CONTENDER: Yamamoto Tanaka (R)
-The Sanderman is still smarting from Independent Ted E. Dangerously’s attack last week and it appears we will not see the PCW champion back in the ring until August 15th’s PCW Night of Champions.
*
PCW BLUE CHAMPION: ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D)
#1 BLUE BRAND CONTENDER: Triple R (D)
-Chism is in the cross-hairs of Triple R (D)- the darling of the hardcore Democrats who don’t think Obama is going far enough in taking on the Republicans.  Triple R is the #1 contender and that sets up what could be an epic match up with Chism for the Blue Brand title this week.
*
PCW RED CHAMPION: ‘The Japanese SuperDestroyer’ Yamamoto Tanaka (R)
#1 RED BRAND CONTENDER: Starz N. Stripes (R)
-Tanaka was the odds on favorite to get a crack at his fourth PCW title run but now the return of the Original Rookie Sensation and PCW Hall of Famer Starz N. Stripes (Kevin Scott) has murkied the waters a bit.  But with Mitt Romney (R-MA) and the Republicans under attack from newcomer Bain (D), Tanaka and Starz have put their rivalry on hold as they go up against the Democrats behemoth.  However, this Thursday on PCW on P-SPAN it’s the Red belt on the line as Tanaka and Starz battle for the title.
*
PCW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: Scott Walker’s Rangers: John and Ronnie Walker (R)
#1 TAG TEAM CONTENDER: Big Union: ‘The Self Described Savior of the Middle Class’ Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker (D)
-Big Union desperately want to get their rematch with Scott Walker’s Rangers and it appears they will do so at Night of Champions.  Expect Eric Holder and the Department of Justice (D) to clear out any and all challengers to give Big Union a clean road to a title shot.
*
PCW TELEVISION CHAMPION: Dawn McGill
#1 TELEVISION TITLE CONTENDER: TBD
-Two words- Jill Berg.  With the elimination of the PCW Women’s title, Ms. Berg (R) move her focus on the PCW Television Title.   Democrat Code Pink believes the road to the Television Title is painted with the color pink.  Look for Republicans and Democrats to come to an agreement on a #1 contender’s match shortly, probably August 2nd.
*
Tomorrow night on PCW Extreme Political TV:
-PCW CEO Barack Obama announces another Executive Order
-Republicans Corporate Might: Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit (R) w/Gordon Guyko take on Charlie Blackwell and Mike the Mechanic from the American Heartland Coalition in an elimination match with the winner facing Democrats Big Union: Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker to become the #1 contender for the PCW Tag Team belts.
*

Saturday, July 21, 2012

McCain Denounces Bachmann, et al For Attack on Hillary Aide

PCW on P-SPAN Recap
Thursday July 19th, 2012


Red Brand Show- Hour 1
San Diego, CA


Building on their dust up from Monday, Big Oil (R) and PCW Television Champion Dawn McGill headlined the Red Brand Show last night in a match for McGill’s TV belt.

With Big Oil’s Corporate Might buddies (Kirk Walstreit- The Wall Street Market Analyst with the Man Crush on ESPN’s Kirk Herbstreit, and CEO Gordon Guyko on hand) and what seemed to be a never ending series of assists from Republican referee Thurstin Powell III, it appeared Big Oil was going leave the ring with the TV title.

But as promised, Charlie Blackwell and a rag tag group of independent wrestlers invaded the Valley View Casino Center and evened the odds. Big Oil then whipped McGill to the corner and charged. The Television Champion ducked out and Blackwell, Mike the Mechanic, and Dan Van Dam pulled Big Oil to the floor. Powell III checked on Big Oil and nearly got clocked by a McGill swan dive off the top rope.

Back in the ring, McGill whacked Big Oil with her kendo stick and then applied to the Crossface Chickenwing to force a tap out.

The Republican wrestlers streamed out and attacked McGill after the match leading to another run in by…


Ted E. Dangerously

…the oversized (five and a half foot tall), foul mouthed, stuffed talking bear who, along with Blackwell et al, beat back the Republican charge..

In other items from the Red Brand show:

Michele Bachmann (R-MN), Louie Gohmert (R-TX), Trent Franks, (R-AZ), Thomas Rooney (R-FL), and Lynn Westmoreland (R-GA) called on PCW to investigate an alleged plot by Islamists to infiltrate the hallowed halls of the U.S. government and singled out Huma Abedin, deputy chief of staff to Hillary Rodham Clinton.

PCW Tag Team Champions Scott Walker’s Rangers (Ronnie and John Walker) (R) def. Occupy Wall Street Nate and Shane. After the match, Bain (D)…



Bain- a business created by Bain & Company, uses its extensive network, sector expertise and business screening capabilities to identify attractive small to mid-cap investment opportunities for its private equity investment partners.

Not…


Bane- (legally trademarked character of Marvel Comics)

…ran out and chokeslammed both Walkers after the match.

This time, Mitt Romney (R-MA) was ready as PCW Red Brand Champion Yamamoto Tanaka (R) and ‘The Original Rookie Sensation’ Starz N. Stripes ran down to make the save and chase Bain to the back.

‘The Innovator of Extreme Broadcast Excellence’ Rush Limbaugh then accused Marvel comics and the new Batman film ‘The Dark Knight’ of being anti-Romney, anti-Republicans because the villain is named Bane (see above).

The Voice of PCW Johnny Suave noted that the ‘Bane’ character was actually created in 1992 by conservatives Chuck Dixon and Graham Nolan and the whole Dark Knight Conspiracy theory. However, he was hushed down by conservative co-host Laura Ingraham who said of Limbaugh, “Shhh, facts, schmacks, he’s on a roll right now.”

Tanaka and Starz also formally signed off on their match next week for the PCW Red Brand title.

At the end of the Red Brand hour, PCW Competition Committee Chair John Boehner


John Boehner (R-OH)


…not to be confused with…



Bain- a business created by Bain & Company, uses its extensive network, sector expertise and business screening capabilities to identify attractive small to mid-cap investment opportunities for its private equity investment partners.

Not…


Bane- (legally trademarked character of Marvel Comics and contrary to what a certain right wing talk show says not created specifically for the new Batman movie by left wingers trying to score political points)

Boehner came out to defend Huma Abedin, the deputy chief of staff to Hillary Clinton (D-NY) and wife of former member of the PCW Competition Committee Anthony Weiner (D-NY). Boehner told the crowd that he didn’t know Abedin that well but from everything he’s heard of her she has a sterling character. Besides, anyone who can put up with Anthony Weiner on a daily basis should be considered for sainthood.

Boehner:
I think accusations like this being thrown around are pretty dangerous.”

Blue Brand Show- Hour 2
San Francisco, CA

It was an international showdown that main evented the PCW Blue Brand show as Daniel-San and PCW Blue Brand Champion ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism faced off against Bashir Assad’s Syrian Assassins.

The match came to a controversial end when Daniel-San had Syrian Assassin #1 in the LaBell Lock and it appeared the Democratic duo would get the win. But then out of nowhere, Eastern Powers Foo Qu of China and Russian Sergei Sardominov hit the ring and vetoed the Democrats submission. The match then broke down from there with an angry Hillary Clinton (D-NY) climbing up onto the ring apron and yelling at the Eastern Powers.

Triple R (D) and Chism also signed the contract for their big match next week for the PCW Blue Brand title.

And PCW Champion The Sanderman (D), with 70 stitches in his head from Ted E. Dangerously beer bottle blast, went off on a tirade on the PCW newcomer. He says that the independents apparently have a new champion in a oversized stuffed beer who cowardly attacks people from behind. Congratulations. Where does that The Sanderman? He’s still the PCW Champion, that’s what. He’s still going to PCW Night of Champions in under a month as the champion and there’s nothing anyone can do to prevent that.

As for Ted E. Dangerously and the Independent traveling show, The Sanderman said they’re acting as if PCW is some extreme version of the Wild West. The bottom line is, The Sanderman has balls and doesn’t attack from behind- unlike Ted E. Dangerously. He says if the Independent’s can’t act appropriately and give him, the PCW Champion, the proper respect he deserves, then the days where the Sanderman appears on PCW Extreme Political TV are going to be few and far between.

The camera spotted actor Fred Willard out in the crowd. He appeared to be enjoying the PCW show and…and……oh…never mind.

Paddy O’Kennedy (D) def. ‘Rainbow’ Trout Stevens

Andy ‘The Foul Pole’ Golatta (D) def. Steve Torino- Used Car Salesman

At the end of the show, Democrats were getting ready to respond to the remarks Michele Bachmann et al made at the Red Brand show earlier in the night. But then…


‘Straight-Shooting Maverick’
John McCain (R-AZ)

McCain has a microphone and beats the Democrats to the punch.

“Rarely do I come to the floor of this institution to discuss particular individuals. But I understand how painful and injurious it is when a person’s character, reputation and patriotism are attacked without concern for fact or fairness.”

McCain then called Huma Abedin a friend and a devoted public servant and lit into the “sinister” accusations that were made. He called the charges “nothing less than an unwarranted and unfounded attack on an honorable woman, a dedicated American and a loyal public servant. These attacks on Huma have no logic, no basis and no merit. And they need to stop now.”

McCain chastised fellow Republicans for distorting what it means to be an American.

PCW Shows This Weekend:

PCW Red Brand Shows:
Saturday- Salt Lake City, UT
Sunday- Phoenix, AZ

PCW Blue Brand Shows:
Saturday- Reno, NV
Sunday- Portland, OR

PCW Independent Shows:Saturday- Effingham, IL
Sunday- Anderson, IN

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Obama, Romney Sound Off on 'Ted'

In the aftermath of the debut of new PCW star…
*

Ted E. Dangerously
*
…both PCW CEO Barack Obama (D-IL) and the man who wants to be the next CEO Mitt Romney (R-MA) both commented on the oversized (five and a half foot tall), foul mouthed, stuffed talking bear to PCW’s Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein.
*
Obama denounced Ted’s ‘cheap attack’ on the PCW Champion The Sanderman (D) Monday night on PCW Extreme Political TV that sent him to the hospital for stitches.  The PCW CEO said that bashing people in the head with beer bottles was not the direction he wanted to take PCW in.
*
When Bernstein asked him about Bain’s (D)…
*

Bain- a business created by Bain & Company, uses its extensive network, sector expertise and business screening capabilities to identify attractive small to mid-cap investment opportunities for its private equity investment partners.
*

Not…
*

Bane- (legally trademarked character of Marvel Comics)
*
…numerous run-ins at PCW Red Brand shows over the weekend where he took out several Republican wrestlers, Obama said, “No, that’s a totally different thing.”
*
Romney also complained about Ted but even had harsher words for the PCW Television Champion Dawn McGill…
*

PCW Television Champion Dawn McGill
*
…after she used a kendo stick on the testicles of Corporate Might’s Big Oil (R) and sent him to the hospital as well.  Romney said these unprovoked attacks against people who create jobs has got to stop and blamed Obama’s leadership for the patently anti-business atmosphere in PCW.
*
When asked by Bernstein about Big Oil calling McGill out and starting the conflict Monday night, Romney responded, “Well, that’s just a totally different thing.”
*
Charlie Blackwell of the American Heartland Coalition told Bernstein that if the big boys can’t play in the bingo halls and armories that the independent contingent of PCW has been cosigned to without crying when things don’t go their way, they can always stay in their limos and fancy arenas.
*
Blackwell:
We know that both parties are going to try real hard now to get the Television Title away from Dawn McGill and the Women’s Title away from Miss USA so ALL of the belts will be in the hands of the Democrats and Republicans.  We know that both parties want to shut down access to independent wrestlers to their big shows.  We know that both parties care more about advancing their agenda than they do for everyone in PCW.
If there is anything that will unite us, it’s any attempt by either party to take the belt away.  And mark my words, an independent may not be in the running for the PCW CEO job; an independent may not get the opportunity to wrestle for the PCW Title at Extreme Election Night in November- but independents will be the ones who will make the difference in the end.

Romney’s Bane is….Bain/’Ted’ Takes Over PCW

PCW Extreme Political TV
Monday July 16th, 2012
Host: Johnny Suave

Suave: Hello! And welcome to PCW Extreme Political TV. I am Johnny Suave and this past weekend was a tough one for the Republican‘s Mitt Romney (R-MA).

PCW Red Brand House Show- Birmingham, ALIt’s Magnum PO’d (R) matched up with the Main Street Mafia’s Brian King (R). Suddenly, a large man comes to the ring. He climbs in and destroys both Magnum and King. Then Robyn Masters jumps on his back. The man flips her over, lift, chokeslam.

Suave: The Democrats unleashed their new weapon on the Republicans and his name is Bain. B-A-I-N. Not Bane…B-A-N-E. He’s a intellectually trademarked character of Marvel Comics. So let’s get this straight.



Bain- a business created by Bain & Company, uses its extensive network, sector expertise and business screening capabilities to identify attractive small to mid-cap investment opportunities for its private equity investment partners.

Not…


Bane- (legally trademarked character of Marvel Comics)

Got it?

Suave: Bain struck again the next night at Red Brand’s show in Hot ‘Lanta.

PCW Red Brand Show- Atlanta, GAKirk Walstreit (R) vs. Dan Van Dam. Bain runs out again during the match and flattens both Walstreit and Van Dam.

Then later on in the show…

Rev. Oral Hinnrich of the Religious Right (R) vs. Texas Jack (R). Again, Bain runs out and wipes out both men in the ring and then leaves.

Suave: It seemed as if the Democrats were going to use Bain to whack Romney and the Republicans again and again and again.

Romney came out to discuss the situation with PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein. Romney told Bernstein that the Democrats were going too far in exploiting Bain for their gain.

This, of course, brought out Bain who confronted Romney. Bain appeared to bump Mitt. Romney shoved Bain back. Suddenly, David Axelrod (D), an Obama aide, came screaming down the aisle and claimed Romney just committed a felony by hitting Bain.

Axelrod called Romney a felon and the big man was about to respond himself when PCW Red Brand Champion Yamamoto Tanaka hit the ring and tackled Bain. Tanaka and Bain brawled all the way to the back.

1) PCW Women’s Champion Miss USA vs. Soccer Mom (D) w/New Age Sensitive Guy- non-title match


PCW Women’s Champion Miss USA

Soccer Mom dawdles getting into the ring and keeps shouting “IT’S FOR THE CHILDREN!” Finally Miss USA climbs to the top rope and hits a missile dropkick on Soccer Mom before she enters in the ring. The ref finally calls for the bell.

Soccer Mom goes for the Shin Guard but Miss USA reverses it with a hard body push. Miss USA with a clothesline. Soccer Man staggers around the ring. Miss USA starts to climb the top rope but New Age Sensitive Guy intercepts her. He apologizes and then starts pounding her with lefts and rights. Finally, Miss USA goes low with a knee and doubles New Age Sensitive Guy over. The she climbs on his back and hits a Patriot Missile dropkick on Soccer Mom. Cover…1…2…3.

WINNER: Miss USA

Afterwards, Code Pink runs in and clocks her from behind. Code Pink kicks away at Miss USA on the ground. Then Soccer Mom and New Age Sensitive Guy, still apologizing by the way, joins in.

THUMP

THUMP

THUMP-THUMP-THUMP

The crowd stands and cheers.

THUMP

THUMP

THUMP-THUMP-THUMP

The video screen goes to just outside a dressing room in the back. A police escort is waiting at the door. One of the policemen knocks on the door.

Policeman: “Ms. Berg. It’s time.”

The door opens and large male bodybuilding types walk out of the dressing room surrounding a petite woman and her male assistant in the middle. The woman is busy talking on her cell phone while the man furiously scribbles down notes as the group makes their way towards the ring.

THUMP

THUMP

THUMP-THUMP-THUMP

The procession emerges from the back and starts their way down the ramp.

Her assistant has a microphone and a portable tape recorder. He flips it on.

“JILLLLL-BERG…JILLLLL-BERG…”

The group then continues towards the ring leaving the police escort behind.

“JILLLLL-BERG…JILLLLL-BERG…”

The twenty bodyguards assist Ms. Berg into the ring. She, her assistant, and two bodyguards immediately go to a corner.

“JILLLLL-BERG…JILLLLL-BERG…”

Berg continues to talk on her cell phone.

“JILLLLL-BERG…JILLLLL-BERG…”

The crowd rises to their feet when her bodyguards attack Code Pink, Soccer Mom, and New Age Sensitive Guy. The Jill Berg wades in. Spear to Code Pink. Jackhammer slam. Buzzsaw kick to Soccer Mom. Buzzsaw kick to the balls of New Age Sensitive Guy. They’re all laid out in the ring.

Then she launches herself at Miss USA. Spear. Jackhammer slam! Basement dropkick!

Crowd: “JILLLL-BERG! JILLLL-BERG!”

BACKSTAGEPCW Champion The Sanderman (D) talks with PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein. Bernstein says the PCW fans want to know why he’s wrestled so little since winning the PCW title.


The Sanderman tells Bernstein it’s none of their business. His union contract explicitly states that he only has to defend the title once a month and that’s what he’s going to do.

Bernstein brings up this…

FROM PCW LOOSE CANNONS UNLEASHED 8- MATCH #6 PCW Title Match: The Sanderman (D) (c) vs. ‘The Japanese SuperDestroyer’ Yamamoto Tanaka (R)

Can Tanaka pick up a second belt and become a four time PCW champion?

Not tonight. Wasserman-Schultz, Harry Reid, and Nancy Pelosi come to the ring and order The Sanderman back to the dressing room. The crowd goes nuts as the referee counts him out and awards the match to Tanaka.

Suave: But The Sanderman keeps the title belt because Tanaka didn’t pin him.

John Boehner (R-OH) and Mitch McConnell (R-KY) fly down the aisle to the ring to argue with the referee.

Finally, PCW Legal Counsel Eric Holder is called to the ring to mediate the controversy. He listens to Boehner and McConnell and then rules in favor of the PCW Champion The Sanderman (D). Boehner and McConnell can’t believe it and Holder makes a…fast and furious…exit.

The Sanderman becomes upset and tells Bernstein it’s none of his business, either. He’ll defend the title when he’s good and-..

Out of nowhere, a furry blur tackles the PCW Champion, unleashing a killer string of profanity and pounding The Sanderman with clubbing lefts and rights.

Suave: WHO THE HELL IS THIS?


Ted E. Dangerously

Suave: Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me.

The Sanderman manages to get up but Dangerously, a five and a half foot tall oversized stuffed teddy bear, smashes a beer bottle over his head and busts him open.

Suave: Seriously?

Ted: What’s more unbelievable? An oversized, stuffed foul mouthed talking bear beating the *bleep* out of the *bleep*-ing PCW Champion or a politician who actually gives a flying *bleep* about his constituents?

Suave: Okay…he makes a good point.

Suave then notes the return of…


Keith Olbermann

Suave: Wow. I didn’t realize it’s been that long since Keith was unceremoniously dumped by Current TV.

Olbermann begins to talk when-

*Def Leppard’s Tear It Down plays*

Suave: YES!


‘The Extreme Equalizer’ Whiskey Tango Foxtrot

Suave: IT’S THE EXTREME EQUALIZER- WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT!

Tear it down – There’s got to be a better way
Tear it down – I can’t wait another day
Tear it down – There’s got to be a better way
Tear it down – If only you could stay
All night long

Crowd: What the @#$#!…What the @!##!

Olbermann can’t believe it when Extreme Equalizer Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, still wearing clothing made in the USA, races down the aisle to the ring.

Kick to the balls. Lift. Chokeslam.

Crowd: PCW!…PCW!…PCW!…

Then another guest…


‘The Innovator of Extreme Broadcast Excellence’ Rush Limbaugh

Limbaugh sees Olbermann in a crumpled heap in the ring and starts laughing.

WTF sees Limbaugh. Turns to him. Kick to the balls. Lift. Powerbomb through the timekeeper’s table.

Crowd: PCW!…PCW!…PCW!

2) ‘Tin Cap’ Ray McAvay of the Tea Party w/ Average Joe and Tromeo vs. Hashiell DammitDammit, he eats a high knee from McAvay. But the literary legend gets some offense in dropping the Damn Elbow and then tosses McAvay into the corner. He hits McAvay with the Damn Boot, then hits the ropes and tries to clip the Damn Knee but misses.

Dammit, he goes for it again from behind but Tromeo sneaks in with a seven iron and attacks the back. McAvay gets front face lock then hits a dropkick and ducks a Damn Clothesline, Dammit. McAvay headbutts Dammit. Then Tromeo tosses him the seven iron and McAvay, a superb ball striker, hits a left to right fade for the pin!


PCW Television Champion Dawn McGill

Dawn McGill is backstage. She says it’s wrong and ridiculous that Big Oil (R) continues to gauge ordinary Americans with sky high gas prices and it’s time someone stood up to him.

Big Oil is already in the ring and invites McGill to come out and say that to his face. Big Oil tells McGill she wants nothing to do with him and she’d better off to walk away before-

McGill strides to the ring with her kendo stick. Big Oil gestures to her to bring it on. McGill walks right up to Big Oil and with two hands swings the kendo stick straight up between his legs.

Suave: “HOLY CRAP!”

Big Oil’s eyes bug out and he topples over with his hands covering his crotch.

Crowd: “PCW…PCW…PCW!…”

PCW Blue Brand Champion ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D) PromoChism says all Triple R (D) does is talk. He beats the crap out of everyone, leave destruction in his wake…and then when it counts the most he loses. Chism says Triple R is probably right, he should be the PCW Blue Brand champion. Hell, he should be the PCW champion. But he’s never been able to close the deal. Chism claims to have the respect of Democrats.

This finally brings, Triple R out. He claims that the crowd doesn’t respect Chism, they don’t even respect themselves. Triple R calls Chism just another cog in the machine.

Chism says he is the PCW Blue Brand and Triple R is not. What Triple R is is a bitter, underacheiving shell of a man.

PCW Executive Committee Chief Harry Reid (D-NV) and Nancy Pelosi (D-NV) walk out and tell both men to knock it off. Reid tells Triple R he’ll get his shot at the PCW Blue Brand title next week on P-SPAN. Until then, both men are to stay away from each other.

3) Three Way Tag Team Dance:
Charlie Blackwell and Mike the Mechanic of the American Heartland Coalition
vs.
The Religious Right: Rev. Oral Hinnrich and Rev. Buddy Flambe w/Sister Mary Marlboro (R)
vs.
The Chicago Boss Squad: Charlie Ranck and Pete Fyle w/Boss Mark Ditka (D)

This one doesn’t even get started. Bain…



Bain- a business created by Bain & Company, uses its extensive network, sector expertise and business screening capabilities to identify attractive small to mid-cap investment opportunities for its private equity investment partners.

Not…


Bane- (legally trademarked character of Marvel Comics)

…hits the ring and wipes out Blackwell and Mike the Mechanic and the God Squad.

Romney and his people come to the ring to complain and demand an apology. That brings out Axelrod who again alleges that Romney committed a felony by striking Bain.

Democratic Leader Debbie Wasserman-Schultz (D-FL) then joins in and tells Romney that he needs to put on his ‘big boy pants’ and deal with it.

Bain literally heaves both Rev. Hinnrich and Rev. Flambe out of the ring. Then he lifts Blackwell up and all of a sudden…


PCW Television Champion Dawn McGill

McGill repeatedly whacks Bain in the knee with the kendo stick. Down comes the Democrats and they swarm all over McGill. Then Blackwell and Mike the Mechanic rally their troops and the independents rush in.

The Republicans charge in to make things even more chaotic.

Then to top it off…


Ted E. Dangerously

That’s right. Ted E. Dangerously, lock and loaded with empty beer bottles, saunters down and starts nailing people left and right.

While this is all going on, Johnny Suave introduces Sir Paul McCartney and Bruce Springsteen.


McCartney and Springsteen promise to finish what they started Saturday night in London before authorities and the promoters made them end the show because of a strict 10:30 p.m. noise curfew.

Springsteen: “We’re not going to let them stop us tonight…ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR-

And the show ends.

Saturday, July 14, 2012

Nick Saban’s Daughter- Future Pro Wrestler?: 7/12 PCW on P-SPAN- Part 2


Designer Ralph Lauren unveils the official uniform of the United States Olympic Team for the opening/closing ceremony.



When Lauren is asked where the uniforms came from? “China.”

*Def Leppard’s Tear It Down plays*

Suave: YES!


‘The Extreme Equalizer’ Whiskey Tango Foxtrot

Suave: IT’S THE EXTREME EQUALIZER- WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT!

Tear it down – There’s got to be a better way
Tear it down – I can’t wait another day
Tear it down – There’s got to be a better way
Tear it down – If only you could stay
All night long

Crowd: What the @#$#!…What the @!##!

Extreme Equalizer Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, wearing clothing made in the USA, races down the aisle to the ring. The four people modeling the uniforms scattered leaving poor Lauren in the ring.

Kick to the balls. Lift. Chokeslam.

Crowd: PCW!…PCW!…PCW!…

Backstage, PCW Executive Committee Chief Harry Reid (D-NV) watches the monitor and shakes his head. He then comments that the uniforms should be burned.

PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein has PCW Competition Committee Chief John Boehner (R-OH). Boehner’s comment: “They should have known better.”

‘The Big F-ing Deal’ Joe Biden (D-DE) at the NAACP
Following Romney’s appearance, Biden cuts a promo on the Republican and tells the NAACP that Mitt would turn everything back to the way it was before if he became PCW CEO. Biden says we’re not going to let that happen and then brings out four new wrestlers to punctuate the point:

Bain (no, not the comic book character from Batman…geez)
HT: 6-6 WT: 300
HOME: Boston, MA

The Chicago Boss SquadCharlie Ranck and Pete Fyle w/ Boss Mark Ditka

Paddy O’KennedyHT: 6′ 1″ WT: 225
HOME: Brookline, MA
FIN:

Biden says Romney had better get used to the fact that he’s going to get an earful of Bain all summer long.

5) Daniel-San (D) def. Entitlement EricEric came out drinking a beer. Daniel-San took his beer and spit it at Eric. He immediately took him down and started laying in some shots. Daniel-San hits an inverted blockbuster. Daniel-San follows with a Cobra Clutch legsweep, and he then locked in the LaBell Lock. Eric taps out @ 3:06

Eric gets on the mic and whines that he never had a chance in the match because Daniel-San was too good. PCW should have put him in the ring with someone “not nearly as good.”

Extreme Plaintiff Attorneys Felcher and Felcher come down and agree to take on his case.

Code Pink (D) responds to what Jill Berg (R) said earlier. Pink calls Berg a soulless automaton interested in accumulating money at the expense of the disenfranchised. She says it’s bad enough the PCW Women’s champion, Miss USA, betrayed her fellow females by putting her family first instead of her career. If Jill Berg becomes the PCW Women’s Champion, it will set women back even further.

6) Triple R (D) def. Franklin D. Roosevelt- Covert Ninja Mercenary
Triple R continues his revival by tapping FDR out at 2:23 when he hooked up a set of jumper cables to his steel leg braces and attached it to an electric generator.

This brought out the PCW Blue Brand Champion ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D). Chism tells Triple R he gets the fact that the two of them don’t see eye to eye and probably never will. But the extreme manner of which Triple R does his thing turns off a lot of people.

Triple R tells Chism point blank he doesn’t give a *bleep* bout the fans. Most ordinary people are *bleep*ing sheep…or literally *bleeping* sheep for all he knows. They need to be led by the nose by people who are smarter than them. Triple R calls them stupid and that the Republicans are even dumber. “Fight fire with fire. Defeat extremists by being even more extreme.”

Staredown with Triple R and Chism follows. Then…

‘The Voice of PCW’ Johnny Suave: “CAT-FIIIIIIIIGHT! CAT-FIIIIIIIIIGHT!”

No, it’s not Triple R vs. Chism…

MAIN EVENT: Kristen Saban vs. Sarah Grimes in a Sorority Sister Slaughterhouse match

Suave: WTF?

Kristen Saban is the daughter of Alabama head football coach Nick Saban. Grimes is a member of Saban’s sorority at the University of Alabama.

Nick Saban’s Daughter Gets Sued For Beating the Snot out of Her Sorority Sister- Sean Pendergast, Houston News-seriously, you can’t make this up…

Saban shouts “NO ONE LIKES YOU!” across the ring at Grimes. Grimes responds that Saban is ‘crazy.’ And it’s on. Saban zips across the ring and pushes Grimes into the corner. Saban takes her head and slams it into the corner turnbuckle. Grimes pushes Saban away and tries to get out of the ring. Saban drags her back in.

Saban with a Lou Thesz press and starts raining down rights and lefts on Grimes.

Suave: “HOLY CRAP!”

Saban pulls Grimes up by the hair and whips her into the corner. Grimes again tries to climb out of the ring but Saban grabs her by the hair and yanks her back in. Saban takes off one of her shoes and starts whapping Grimes with it.

Appalled at what’s going on in the ring, Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) directs PCW Security to hit the ring much to the crowd’s displeasure and pull Saban away from Grimes. Medical personnel rush over to Grimes followed by PCW’s Extreme Plantiff Attorneys Felcher and Felcher. As Grimes is being attended to, one of the Felchers hands her a business card as the show ends.