Monday, April 30, 2012

PCW Invades White House Correspondent's Dinner

PCW Extreme Political TV
Frederick High School
Frederick, MD
Monday April 30th, 2012
Host: Johnny Suave

Suave is in the ring to start the show but he doesn’t even get through the introduction before…

Two men come out and unroll a white carpet to the ring steps. Dancers then dance. Ballet dancers…ballet? Little children walk up the white carpet and drop rose petals. Someone lets loose some pigeons…not sure just how they’ll get out of the building. The crowd stands as PCW CEO Barack Obama appears. Behind Obama walks Joe Biden. Both look incredibly pissed off.

Suave wonders if it has anything to do with this…

Replay: White House Correspondent‘s Dinner aka ‘Nerdprom’It’s the big night. The stars come out at the gala including Kim Kardashian, Woody Harrelson, George Clooney, Steven Spielberg, Paul Rudd, Elizabeth Banks, Reese Witherspoon, Daniel Day-Lewis, Martha Stewart, Diane Keaton, Rashida Jones, John Legend among others interspersed with the ‘Blue’ table with Democrat wrestlers on one side of the room and the ‘Red’ table on the other side with Republicans.

Suave: Because nothing says America more than politicians parading around with celebrities at a time where ordinary Americans aren’t any closer to pulling themselves out of the economic hole they’re stuck in.

PCW CEO Barack Obama gave the traditional joke-filled address…

Obama: Seriously, guys, what am I doing here? I’m the CEO of Political Championship Wrestling and I’m opening for Jimmy Kimmel?…Why am I telling knock-knock jokes to Kim Kardashian? What is she famous for, anyway?

And then gave way to late night talk show host Jimmy Kimmel…

Kimmel: When I think ‘Mitt Romney,’ I don’t think Etch a Sketch — I think of Twister. You can’t even play Monopoly with him, because he keeps putting the dog on the car.”

Both the Blue and Red tables hurled barbs back and forth until Kimmel uncorked this…

Kimmel: Some people say journalism is in decline, they say you’ve become too politicized, too focused on sensationalism, they say you no longer honor your duty to inform America but instead actively divide us so that your corporate overlord can rake in the profits. I don’t have a joke for this, it’s just what some people say.

*”Can You Hear the People Sing” from Les Miserables plays*

Charlie Blackwell and Mike the Mechanic from the American Heartland Coalition charged into the hall with PCW’s Queen of Extreme Valora Salinas, Politically Incorrect (Al Cahall, Nic Koteen, NRA), The Tea Party (Average Joe and ‘Tin Cup’ Ray McAvay), PBR and Chief, The Mercenaries (Dawn McGill and Svetlana Kovalevski), Ron Claude Von Dammit, Halitosis, SNAFU, Brad Company, Ken Worth- The American Trucker, and Mitch Thomas- American Taxpayer. Suffice to say, all hell broke loose.

Blackwell hurls two steel chairs at the Republican table and the group wades in. Dawn McGill uses a kendo stick on Kim Kardashian and then blasts Republican Lani Harlot with a brutal kendo stick shot to the back. , and that’s enough to draw a “PCW, PCW, PCW!” chant from the crowd. Several celebs try to run away, but Valora Salinas chases them down and levels Martha Stewart with a clothesline. Both Red and Blue tables are engulfed in brawls as McGill goes back to work with the kendo stick before we on a running Reese Witherspoon. Svetlana Kovalevski wedges one of the chairs into the door and McGill sends a poor Diane Keaton into the chair.

McGill: And I hated Annie Hall, too!

Elizabeth Banks hides behind Woody Harrelson who tries to talk some sense into Valora. The probem is Valora’s not buying it and thumbs Harrelson in the eye. Banks gets back to her feet and tries to make a run for it but McGIll connects with a kendo stick shot to her back. Then Kovalevski hits a springboard dropkick that nearly takes Banks’s head off.

Blackwell and Mike the Mechanic make it up to the dias where PCW CEO Obama and long since fled the area and Kimmel simply steps out of the way.

Blackwell: Enough. The ‘issue’ is the fact that our politicians in Washington D.C. seem to be more concerned about money, power, and re-election than they are actually doing the work that we, the voters, elected them to do. The ‘issue’ is how are we going to get government to address the myriad of problems ordinary Americans face? Stagnant wages. Rising cost of living. Health care. Taxes. Bankruptcy and foreclosures. As a patriotic, free-thinking, independent, progressively populist American, I’m equally as f’n proud to stand for what I think is right for America and not what’s right for the Republicans and Democrats. I’m even more f’n proud that I choose to stand with ordinary Americans. You know, the ones who’ve seen their standard of living drop over the past few years and have been ignored by both parties because they’re too busy sucking up to their big money special interests to actually solve their problems.

The Republican and Democratic wrestlers try to get the podium but are driven back.

Blackwell: No, the people who have every right to be angry are ordinary Americans. The ones who’ve seen their government hijacked by extremists on both sides of the aisle and special interest groups. The ones who fight a never ending battle to feed their families and pay their mortgages with stagnant wages against the rising tide of the cost of living. The ones who don’t show up at expensive fund raisers or write out large checks to candidates. The ones who are losing their houses at an exponential rate to foreclosure. The ones who have to work multiple jobs to keep up and can’t afford the cost health insurance thanks to the greed of pharmacuetical companies, trial lawyers and insurance companies. The ones who’ve pretty much tuned out the political process for the one dollar, one vote, slime-filled cesspool that’s it’s become. Those are the ones who have the right to be angry; not partisans who shine the light on the cockroaches who infest the other parties while ignoring the ones that infest his own.

===========

Obama angrily cuts the replay and says he’s going to deal with what happened Saturday night but suddenly we go to the back.

Both Republicans and Democrats are laying out Blackwell and the independents.

Then they realize something…and then the Republicans and Democrats go after each other.

Obama and Biden head to the back to stop the brawling as the show ends.

Sunday, April 29, 2012

Newt Says Uncle/Obama Announces New Titles

PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN Recap
Huntington Civic Center
Huntington, WV
Thursday April 26th, 2012

PCW Extreme Political TV Main Event: Yamamoto Tanaka (R) w/ Mitt Romney (R-MA) vs. Newt Gingrich (R-GA)The bell rang and Gingrich, to his credit, took the fight right to Tanaka and promptly ate a powerbomb.

Tanaka, to his credit, dispensed with the gratiutious destruction of Mr. Gingrich and merely dragged him up to the top rope for the cursery Japanese SuperDestroyer. With Gingrich splayed out on the mat, Tanaka put his foot on Gingrich’s chest and the referee could have counted to three hundred and the result would have been the same.

Newt Gingrich (R-GA) hobbles out and talks with the ‘Voice of PCW’ Johnny Suave.

Gingrich: Fine. I’m suspending my campaign. Are you happy now?

Then Gingrich limps off.

(1) World B. Peace def. PBR w/ChiefPBR is about to hit the Blue Ribbon Blast when Peace snaps ands elbows PBR in the head, knocking him out cold. Peace makes the cover for the easy pin.

PCW CEO Barack Obama Addresses World B. Peace
Two men come out and unroll a white carpet to the ring steps. Dancers then dance. Ballet dancers…ballet? Little children walk up the white carpet and drop rose petals. Someone lets loose some pigeons…not sure just how they’ll get out of the building. The crowd stands as PCW CEO Barack Obama appears. Behind Obama walks Joe Biden.

Obama says he wants to address the whole World B. Peace thing.

Last Night: World B. Peace vs. Richard Headd of Guys With Unfortunate First Names Given Their Surnames.Peace swept into PCW earlier in the night with a message of love and peace. Then Headd accidently collided with him and Peace uncorked a nasty elbow to the back of his head and knocked him out cold for the win.

Peace then apologized afterwards and blamed the incident on a sudden outbreak of acne that irritated his face.

Suave: You mean to tell me that the reason he decked him with that elbow is because World Peace broke out?

Biden takes the microphone and says it’s time to heed the timeless advice from Teddy Roosevelt: ‘Speak softly and carry a big stick.’ End of quote.

Biden: I promise you, the president has a big stick.

Pause for the requisite flurry of snickering from the crowd.

Obama: Joe, don’t say that.

More snickering from the crowd.

Obama then announces that ‘he’s had enough’ of the extreme nonsense in PCW. First, he’s suspending World Peace for two weeks.

Suave: Wait. Can someone actually suspend World Peace? Well, besides actually declaring war and such…

Obama then clarifies that he’s suspending the wrestler- World B. Peace. Then he turns to the big announcement.

Obama: Tonight, just like the NFL is doing in New York, PCW is having a draft. Democrats and Republicans will get to choose wrestlers to compete for the “Blue” belt (Democrats) and the “Red” belt (Republicans).

Obama added as a special treat, the draftees also get to go to Saturday night’s ‘nerd prom’ aka the White House Correspondents Dinner.

Backstage, PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein asked Obama spokesperson Jay Carney what about the Independents and those not drafted. Carney shrugged and walked away.


Why should you buy this book?

Jesusland v Progressiveville isn’t the usual predictable partisan trashing of the other side like other political books. J v P doesn’t pander to the fringes of both sides like most books do.

Jesusland vs Progressiveville parodies the very ones responsible for over the top devisive political discussion: Markos Moutilsas, Rush Limbaugh, Sarah Palin, Keith Olbermann, Chris Matthews, Ann Coulter, Ed Schultz, Glenn Beck, Bill O’Reilly, Alec Baldwin among others.

The cover with Sarah Palin and Keith Olbermann sums up just what our political discourse has become.

Brought to you by the same demented bunch behind Political Championship Wrestling and not bought and paid for by big corporations or either political party, Jesusland vs. Progressiveville is a political satire that would be f#$@ing hilarious if parts of the book wasn’t painfully true about the abject dysfunction in American politics.

Available at Amazon.com and other online bookstores.

In the ring, PCW CEO Obama stands behind a podium a la NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell with Democratic Leader Debbie Wasserman-Schultz to the left of him and Republican Leader Rance Priebus to the right.

The draft then began…

PCW DraftRound One:
Democrats- PCW Champion The Sanderman; Republicans- Yamamoto Tanaka

Round Two:
Republicans- Scott Walker’s Rangers: Ronnie and John Walker; Democrats- Big Union: Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker with Union Maid

Round Three:
Democrats- Kathryn Randall Collins; Republicans- ‘Texas Cowgirl’ Haley Dallas

Round Four:
Republicans- Corporate Might: Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit; Democrats- Felcher and Felcher- Extreme Attorneys

Round Five:
Democrats- Green World Order: “Radishing” Rick Rube- Agronomist, ‘Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee, GreenPete, PeaceNick, and Peta from PETA; Republicans- Religious Right: Rev. Oral Hinnrich and Rev. Buddy Flambe.

Round Six:
Republicans- Kalee Jones- Eskimo Queen and Lani Harlot; Democrats- Women for Women: Code Pink and Emily S. List

Round Seven:
Democrats- PCW Television Champion ’The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism; Republicans- Arizona Rough Justice: D.B. Ruff and Connor Justice

The first seven rounds provided little drama. It was the final round that raised a few eyebrows.

Round Eight:
Republicans- RINO- The Wonk Machine

Suave noted that Mitt Romney’s influence may have pushed that pick.

Then the Democrats stunned everyone.

Democrats- former PCW Champion Daniel-San.

As Daniel-San walked up to the podium, John Creese and the Cobra Conservatives attacked and set off a brawl between the Republicans and Democrats.

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Romney All But Ends It

PCW Pennsylvania Punditry
Red Crown Bowling Center
Harrisburg, PA
Tuesday April 24, 2012
Play by Play: ‘The Voice of PCW’ Johnny Suave

Newt Gingrich (R-GA) came out and said the race isn’t over until he says it over. Since no one else in the back is willing to wrestle for him, he’ll take on Mitt Romney‘s (R-MA) wrestler ‘The Japanese SuperDestroyer’ Yamamoto Tanaka (R) himself if he has to.

Romney comes out and immediately agrees to the match.

(1) ‘PCW’s Queen of Extreme’ Valora Salinas def. ‘Tin Cup‘ Ray McAvay of the Tea Party

Valora tuned up for her upcoming match against ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D) for the PCW Television Champion by destroying McAvay. Chism watched the match with Code Pink and Emily S. List but did not intervene. After the match, Chism and company left.

Former PCW Women’s Champion Kathryn Randall Colllins (D) came out and demanded an immediate rematch against new champion Miss USA.

Replay: Miss USA’s victory over KRC last Thursday on PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN

KRC again petitioned the PCW Competition Committee for relief. Leader of the Competition Committee John Boehner (R-OH) came out and told her that he would bring it up for a quick vote.

(2) Tom Tebow- Tim Tebow‘s Long Lost Black Sheep Brother He Never Knew He Had w/Suspended St. Louis Ram Defensive Coordinator Gregg Williams def. Ronnie Walker (R) of Scott Walker’s (R-WI) Rangers.

Tebow tried to take out Walker’s knee but John Walker (R) made the save. After the match, Tebow and Williams went back and met PCW Tag Team Champions Big Union (Democrats ‘The Self Proclaimed Savior of the Middle Class’ Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker) to collect their bounty.

Big Union refused on the basis that Tebow didn’t get the job done and a scuffle broke out before security jumped in.

PCW Competition Committee MeetingEric Cantor (R-VA) held a meeting for Republicans and tried to rally the troops against on sanctioning the match between Yamamoto Tanaka and Newt Gingrich.

Cantor: All right. I don’t care what you think of Newt, this match should not be sanctioned nor take place. Those of you who will oppose this, raise your hands.

Only a smattering of hands go up.

Cantor: No, seriously. Who’s against this match?

Again, only a slight few raise their hands.

Cantor: Oh, come on. I know Newt has his moments but still…let’s try again. Those who will oppose this match raise their hands.

Yet again, only a few scattered hands go up. Meanwhile, on the Democratic side…

Nancy Pelosi (D-CA): Okay, those in favor of sanctioning the Tanaka-Gingrich match raise your hand-

Immediately, hands are thrust into the air. Some put both hands up.

‘The Voice of PCW’ Johnny Suave: HOLY CRAP! WE’VE GOT BIPARTISAN CONSENSUS! SOMEONE MARK THIS DOWN ON THE CALENDAR!

(3) World B. Peace def. Richard Headd of Guys With Unfortunate First Names Given Their Surnames.

Peace swept into PCW earlier in the night with a message of love and peace. Then Headd accidently collided with him and Peace uncorked a nasty elbow to the back of his head and knocked him out cold for the win.

Peace then apologized afterwards and blamed the incident on a sudden outbreak of acne that irritated his face.

Suave: You mean to tell me that the reason he decked him with that elbow is because World Peace broke out?

Hello? Is this mic on?



COMMERCIAL BREAK


Why should you buy this book?

Jesusland v Progressiveville isn’t the usual predictable partisan trashing of the other side like other political books. J v P doesn’t pander to the fringes of both sides like most books do.

Jesusland vs Progressiveville parodies the very ones responsible for over the top devisive political discussion: Markos Moutilsas, Rush Limbaugh, Sarah Palin, Keith Olbermann, Chris Matthews, Ann Coulter, Ed Schultz, Glenn Beck, Bill O’Reilly, Alec Baldwin among others.

The cover with Sarah Palin and Keith Olbermann sums up just what our political discourse has become.

Brought to you by the same demented bunch behind Political Championship Wrestling and not bought and paid for by big corporations or either political party, Jesusland vs. Progressiveville is a political satire that would be f#$@ing hilarious if parts of the book wasn’t painfully true about the abject dysfunction in American politics.

Available at Amazon.com and other online bookstores.

Before the main event, Leader of the PCW Competition Committee John Boehner comes out and announces that former PCW Women’s Champion Kathryn Randall Collins will indeed get her rematch with Miss USA for the women’s belt- at PCW Loose Cannons Unleashed 8 in June!

Plus, Boehner announces that due to the events earlier tonight that the Competition Committee has voted that Scott Walker’s (R-WI) Rangers: Ronnie and John Walker (R) will meet PCW Tag Team Champions Big Union: ’The Self Proclaimed Savior of the Middle Class’ Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker (D) for the tag team belts at Loose Cannons Unleashed 8.

MATCHES SIGNED FOR JUNE’S PCW LOOSE CANNONS UNLEASHED 8 PPV:-PCW Television Title Match: ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D) (c) vs. Valora Salinas
-PCW Tag Team Title Match: Big Union: ‘The Self Proclaimed Savior of the Middle Class’ Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker (D) (c) vs. Scott Walker’s Rangers: Ronnie and John Walker (R)
-PCW Women’s Title Match: Miss USA (c) vs. Kathryn Randall Collins (D)
-PCW Title Match: The Sanderman (D) (c) vs. Yamamoto Tanaka (R)

Plus, PCW Hall of Fame Inductions of:
Wrestlers: ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido (I) and Starz N. Stripes (also known as ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott) (R)
Politicians: ‘The American Screamer’ Howard Dean (D-VT) and ‘The Mastermind’ Karl Rove (R)

(4) Main Event: Yamamoto Tanaka (R) w/ Mitt Romney (R-MA) vs. Newt Gingrich (R-GA)

Gingrich came out first and milked the moment for all it was worth. He spent what seemed an eternity walking around the ring and trying to shake peoples hands until he finally got annoyed and grabbed the mic to berate the crowd, specifically the Democrats. He said he wouldn’t let any Democrats down here touch his calves, which was odd and completely out of character.

Tanaka and Romney came down next. The bell rang and Gingrich, to his credit, took the fight right to Tanaka and promptly ate a powerbomb.

Tanaka, to his credit, dispensed with the gratiutious destruction of Mr. Gingrich and merely dragged him up to the top rope for the cursery Japanese SuperDestroyer. With Gingrich splayed out on the mat, Tanaka put his foot on Gingrich’s chest and the referee could have counted to three hundred and the result would have been the same.

WINNER: Yamamoto Tanaka (R) @ :23

So, now it’s on to PCW Politics is War tomorrow night.
- PCW CEO Barack Obama will make what is being called a big announcement
- Newt Gingrich to also make an announcement

Friday, April 20, 2012

3 Democrats Now Hold PCW Title Belts- Updated PCW Rankings

PCW WORLD CHAMPION: The Sanderman (D)
PCW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: Big Labor/James the Jeep Worker (D)
PCW WOMEN’S CHAMPION: Miss USA
PCW TELEVISION CHAMPION: ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D)


#1 SINGLES CONTENDER:
- Valora Salinas (I)

#1 TAG TEAM CONTENDER:
- Corporate Might: Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit (R)

#1 WOMEN’S CONTENDER:- Kathryn Randall Collins (D)

As you can see, the Democrats still hold three out of the four PCW belts while the Republicans hold none.


Miss USA wrestled as an independent and continues to hold that status as PCW Women’s champion. Former Women’s Champion Kathryn Randall Collins is expected to invoke her rematch clause and demand an immediate title shot. It’s more likely that KRC will get her shot at the women’s belt at PCW Loose Cannons Unleashed 8 in June.

Miss USA v. KRC in Women's Showdown plus Ted Nugent Shoots the Breeze



PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN Report
Mayo Civic Center Arena
Rochester, MN
Thursday April 19th, 2012
Host: Johnny Suave

The show began with a 10 bell salute to Dick Clark and Levon Helm.


PCW Women’s Champion Kathryn Randall Collins (D) again pleaded with Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) to have her title defense against Miss USA called off. Pelosi told her that she couldn’t stop the match but that “she wouldn’t be alone.” Pelosi added that the women of PCW would rally around her and she’d still be the Women’s Champion after tonight.

(1) NRA of Politically Incorrect w/Ted Nugent def. PeaceNick of the Green World Order

After the match, Nugent met up with PCW Secret Security to discuss Nugent’s (R) comments on Monday’s PCW Extreme Political TV about PCW CEO Barack Obama (D-IL) and went into an office to talk.

PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein talked with the Japanese SuperDestroyer Yamamoto Tanaka (R) through an interpreter. Tanaka, a 3 time PCW champion, says he came back to PCW to be dominant and the Democrats weren’t letting him be that. That’s why he’s joined the Republicans and ‘The Massachusetts Redblood’ Mitt Romney (R-MA) and that’s why he says he will be the next PCW Champion when he defeats The Sanderman at PCW Loose Cannons Unleashed.

Romney comes in and agrees, adding that once Tanaka becomes the PCW champion that people will see that his judgment is stupendously marvelous and that will put him over Obama for the PCW CEO job in November.

Backstage, Nugent and the PCW Secret Security guys are kicking back and having a few beers as they talk. One Secret Security guy brags about checking out ‘The Alaskan Pitbull’ Sarah Palin and they all share a laugh.

(2) Big Oil def. Mitch Thomas- The American Taxpayer

Post match, Big Oil hits the American Taxpayer again and again with the Oklahoma Driller. Finally, Daniel-San runs out and flattens Big Oil with a steel chair.

Then John Creese and his Cobra Cons attack Daniel-San.

Followed by Charlie Blackwell of the American Heartland Coalition and his Les Miserables who swarm all over the Cobra Cons and kick them out of the ring. Mike the Mechanic joins Blackwell in the ring. Mike gets on the mic and tells the crowd if no one else is going to stand up for the American Taxpayer then the American Heartland Coalition will.

Backstage, Obama’s aide de camp Joe Biden chats with suspended NFL Defensive Coordinator Gregg Williams and New Orleans Saints head coach Sean Payton about the whole bounty thing going on with Tom Tebow- Tim Tebow’s long lost black sheep brother. Biden warns them to knock it off.

In the ring, Johnny Suave talks with PCW Champion The Sanderman (D). The Sanderman says Tanaka is a force and he knows what he’s capable of. But he swears that he’s going to PCW Loose Cannons Unleashed 8 with the intention of fighting for his title. The Sanderman rips on Mitt Romney as using Tanaka as his conduit. “Tanaka doesn’t care what you people think. Tanaka just wants to hurt people and like the Republicans will go to extreme lengths, like torture, to acheive their ends. The Sanderman says Tanaka’s only purpose is to replace him with a Republican as the PCW champion.

Next, Nugent and the PCW Secret Security guys leave their meeting joking and slapping each other on the back. “We’re cool,” one of them says and then thanks Nugent for an autograph.

There’s a quick recap of the KRC- Miss USA feud:

On Monday night, PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein talks with Miss USA about the upcoming match. Miss USA tells Bernstein that she’s going to prove that a woman can be a mother and hold a career and the two don’t have to be mutually exclusive.

Last week, KRC compares Ann Romney to Miss USA giving up her career for over a year to have a baby with her husband. KRC says Miss USA’s decision to put her family over her career is an affront to the women’s movement.

(3) PCW Women’s Title Match: Kathryn Randall Collins (c) w/Hilary Rosen, Code Pink, and Emily S. List (D) vs. Miss USA w/the Mercenaries: Dawn McGill and Svetlana Kovaleviski.

Before the match even starts, the Angry Left Wing Bloggers (Markos Moutilsas of the Daily Kos, Katrina Vanden Huevel from the Nation, Professor Paul Krugman of the NY Times, and the Huffington Posts Arianna Huffington come to the ring with the leader of the Democrats Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.

KRC and Miss USA battle back and forth with the Angry Left Wing Bloggers liberally interfering on the PCW Women’s Champion’s behalf. That brings down the Right Wing Brigadiers (Michelle Malkin, Tucker Carlson of the Daily Caller, Glenn Beck, and Laura Ingraham) and now we have a brawl going on around the ring with KRC and Miss USA battling inside the ring.

Miss USA hits the Patriot Missile on KRC and covers. But there’s another commotion. Mitt Romney’s dog is loose inside the arena and distracts the referee when the dog jumps into the ring with Ann Romney chasing from behind.

In the confusion, Code Pink sneaks into the ring and tries to hit Miss USA with a glitter bomb. But Dawn McGill tackles Miss USA and Pink nails KRC instead. Miss USA hits a second Patriot Missile and makes the cover…1…2…3.

WINNER AND NEW PCW WOMEN’S CHAMPION: Miss USA

MATCHES SIGNED FOR JUNE’S PCW LOOSE CANNONS UNLEASHED 8 PPV:-PCW Television Title Match: ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D) (c) vs. Valora Salinas
-PCW Title Match: The Sanderman (D) vs. Yamamoto Tanaka (R)

Plus, PCW Hall of Fame Inductions of:
Wrestlers: ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido (I) and Starz N. Stripes (also known as ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott) (R)
Politicians: ‘The American Screamer’ Howard Dean (D-VT) and ‘The Mastermind’ Karl Rove (R)

MATCHES SIGNED ALREADY FOR NOVEMBER’S PCW EXTREME ELECTION NIGHT 2012:Ohio- Sherrod Brown (D) vs. Josh Mandel (R)
Virginia- George Allen (R) vs. Tim Kaine (D)
Massachusetts- Scott Brown (R) vs. Elizabeth Warren (D)

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Romney v. Obama Set Plus Ted Nugent Shoots

PCW Extreme Political TV
Rushmore Plaza Civic Center
Rapid City, SD
Monday April 16, 2012
Host: Johnny Suave


Nancy Pelosi’s OfficePCW Women’s Champion Kathryn Randall Collins barges into Pelosi’s office and demands that she get the PCW Competition Committee overturn the stipulation from last week that gave Miss USA a title chance.

Replay: The Mercenaries: Dawn McGill and Sventlana Kovalevski vs. Code Pink and Emily S. List- if the Mercenaries win Miss USA gets a title shot against KRCKRC then interjects herself into the match by dragging Kovalevski out of the ring and List locks McGill up in the Abdominal Stretch. List, seeing McGill’s daughter ringside, starts taunting her. Then she lifts McGill up to body slam her and feels a sharp pain in her derriere. She drops McGill and turns around to see McGill’s 2 year old daughter smiling. List, distracted, then gets walloped by a kendo stick shot by McGill and that’s all.

McGill gets the pin and Miss USA gets her title shot coming up Thursday night on PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN.

Pelosi doesn’t make any promises but tells KRC she’ll see what she can do.

Suave starts the show in the ring with the PCW Champion The Sanderman (D). Democrats Harry Reid (D-NV) and Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) accompany him ringside.

Replay: The Sanderman’s win over former PCW Champion Daniel-San at a PCW House Show to win the title.

The PCW Champion says there is not one second that he ever thought he was going to lose once he got in the ring with Daniel-San. The Sanderman says he had the Democrats behind 100% his win proves that a true champ retains the will to win even through their most disappointing setbacks. He says he hasn’t been in PCW all that long but he wondered how everyone would react after he won the belt. The crowd cheers.

The Sanderman blasted Daniel-San for lashing out and making excuses. The crowd chants “What A Loser.” Suddenly, the crowd roars as Yamamoto Tanaka (R) and Mitt Romney (R-MA) appear at the top of the ramp. Tanaka strides down the ramp and climbs into the ring.

Suave announces that the main event for June’s PCW Loose Cannons Unleashed 8 PPV will be Tanaka vs. The Sanderman for the PCW title! The crowd roars again.

Tanaka nods and then offers The Sanderman a handshake. The Sanderman accepts and then Tanaka boots him in the stomach. Powerbomb. Then he drags the champion to the top turnbuckle…JAPANESE SUPERDESTROYER! Romney claps and then gets on the microphone to tell PCW CEO Barack Obama (D-IL) to ‘start packing.’

MATCHES SIGNED FOR JUNE’S PCW LOOSE CANNONS UNLEASHED 8 PPV:-PCW Television Title Match: ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D) (c) vs. Valora Salinas
-PCW Title Match: The Sanderman (D) vs. Yamamoto Tanaka (R)

MATCHES SIGNED ALREADY FOR NOVEMBER’S PCW EXTREME ELECTION NIGHT 2012:Ohio- Sherrod Brown (D) vs. Josh Mandel (R)
Virginia- George Allen (R) vs. Tim Kaine (D)
Massachusetts- Scott Brown (R) vs. Elizabeth Warren (D)

(1) Daniel-San defeats Brad Company

Company, still waiting for the PCW Super Court to render its decision concerning health care, falls victim to the Labell Lock. Post match, John Creese and the Cobra Conservatives attack Daniel-San again.

Mrs. Miyagi and Halitosis race down to make the save again. But then…


Tom Tebow- Tim Tebow’s long lost, black sheep brother

Tebow and suspended St. Louis Rams Defensive Co-ordinator Gregg Williams hit the ring and attack Halitosis. Williams throws Mrs. Miyagi from the ring and Tebow then uses a lead pipe on Halitosis’s knee. Then he blasts him in the head with the lead pipe and then leaves with Williams after collecting a bounty from Creese and the Cobra Conservatives.

PCW Competition Committee MeetingPelosi makes the case that the stipulation giving Miss USA her title shot this Thursday night should be vacated. Predictably, John Boehner (R-OH) is against it. They vote and defeat Pelosi’s measure largely along party lines.

Undaunted, KRC vows to take it to the PCW Executive Committee.

Suave talks about the recent controversy involving Pippa Middleton and the driver of a car she was riding pointing a gun at paparazzi.

M de Soultrait: “Pippa is a very good friend of mine and this gun affair is very silly. It was a children’s toy that the driver had in his car. Pippa thought it was funny. It is fine in France to do that and the police are not investigating,”

Suave: Ahhhh. That explains France’s performance against the Germans in World War 2- toy guns.

Then famed rocker, ‘The Motor City Madman’ Ted Nugent strolled out with the other members of Politically Incorrect.


Politically Incorrect (from left): NRA, Andrea Doria (up), Al Cahall (down), and Nic Koteen

Nugent says the whole French thing is overblown and another reason that if Barack Obama is still the PCW CEO after November, he will be dead or in jail.

Suave: Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Nugent: Our CEO, and legal counsel, our second in command, Hillary Clinton — they’re all criminals. We’re Americans because we defied the king. … We are patriots, we are bravehearts. We need to ride into that battlefield and chop their heads off in November like those Frenchy types did during the French Revolution.

Suave calls Nugent’s comments ‘strong’ (a vertiable understatement) and wonders if that will get the attention of PCW Secret Security force.

Box Suite Above the ArenaPCW Secret Security parties hard with members of the GSA. Even Hillary Clinton (D-NY) is there swigging beers and dancing around.

Suave: Or maybe not…

(2) PCW Tag Team Non-Title Match: Scott Walker’s Rangers: The Walker Brothers- Ronnie and John (R) def. Tag Team Champions Big Union: ‘The Self Proclaimed Savior of the Middle Class’ Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker

Post match, both teams continue to brawl with Ronnie Walker and James the Jeep Worker fighting into the crowd while John Walker and Big Labor fought in the ring.

PCW Executive Committee MeetingHarry Reid makes the case to vacate the stipulation giving Miss USA her title shot Thursday night. But the Republicans filibuster the measure and the Democrats can’t get the 60 votes needed to stop it.

KRC angrily walks out of the room.

BackstagePCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein talks with Miss USA about the upcoming match. Miss USA tells Bernstein that she’s going to prove that a woman can be a mother and hold a career and the two don’t have to be mutually exclusive.

Ann Romney walks out to join the conversation. Mrs. Romney offers to be in Miss USA’s corner Thursday night. Bernstein notes that Hilary Rosen (D) is going to be in KRC’s corner for the match.

Miss USA turns Ann Romney down and says she doesn’t want to make this a political battle. Besides, she’s got all the back up she needs in…


The Mercenaries: Dawn McGill and Svetlana Kovalevski

The Three Stooges AppearLarry (Sean Hayes), Curly (Will Sasso) and Moe (Chris Diamantopoulos) come out and entertain the crowd with their eye gouges, the nyuk nyuks, the open handed slaps and the other forms of physical comedy. Suave wonders if the Three Stooges movie can unseat ‘The Hunger Games at the box office.

Jennifer Lawrence (Katniss in the movie ‘The Hunger Games’) walks out and whips out her bow and shoots three arrows striking each Stooge. The trio fall to the ground.

Suave: Guess that’s a no.



Why should you buy this book?

Jesusland v Progressiveville isn’t the usual predictable partisan trashing of the other side like other political books. J v P doesn’t pander to the fringes of both sides like most books do.

Jesusland vs Progressiveville parodies the very ones responsible for over the top devisive political discussion: Markos Moutilsas, Rush Limbaugh, Sarah Palin, Keith Olbermann, Chris Matthews, Ann Coulter, Ed Schultz, Glenn Beck, Bill O’Reilly, Alec Baldwin among others.

The cover with Sarah Palin and Keith Olbermann sums up just what our political discourse has become.

Brought to you by the same demented bunch behind Political Championship Wrestling and not bought and paid for by big corporations or either political party, Jesusland vs. Progressiveville is a political satire that would be f#$@ing hilarious if parts of the book wasn’t painfully true about the abject dysfunction in American politics.

Available at Amazon.com and other online bookstores.

Back in the ring, Suave talks with Mitt Romney and Yamamoto Tanaka. Romney says he is going to introduce the new face of PCW—a man who will carry the PCW banner for years to come. The crowd boos as Tanaka raises his hands.

Tanaka, through an interpretor, thanks Romney and gets more boos from the audience. Romney says Tanaka brings legitimacy back to PCW and he’s immediately interrupted by the PCW Champion The Sanderman (D).

The Sanderman doesn’t even bother with pleasantries as he charges Tanaka and a brawl ensues. Romney bails as both men unload on each other. PCW Security hits the ring to separate the two as the show ends.

Monday, April 16, 2012

Hilary Rosen-Ann Romney Catfight plus Pippa Middleton

PCW Never a Dull Moment in Denver Recap
Ogden Theater
Denver, CO
Saturday April 14th, 2012

The show began with ‘The Massachusetts Redblood’ Mitt Romney (R-MA) coming out and taking an ad-hoc victory lap around the theater to celebrate his presumed coronation as the Republican opponent for PCW CEO ‘The Political Natural’ Barack Obama (D-IL) in the fall.

Newt Gingrich then stormed out and demanded a one on one match against Romney. Gingrich then was grabbed by security and then forcibly dragged out of the building while shouting “THIS IS ALL FOX NEWS’S FAULT!”

(1) The Green World Order: Radishing Rick Rube- Agronomist and ‘Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee w/GreenPete, PeaceNick, and Peta from PETA def. Politically Incorrect: NRA and Nic Koteen w/ Al Cahall and Andrea Doria with Guest Referee MSNBC‘s Rachel Maddow.

NRA nearly had the Extreme Vegan pinned but Maddow pulled up before finishing the three count. Rube then broke a flower pot over NRA’s head and Brock Cole Lee hooked the legs for the pin.

After the match, the GWO forced the crowd to watch those hideous anti-smoking ads that’ve been playing on TV…


Charlie Blackwell of the American Heartland Coalition came out with his Les Miserables and offered his own graphic, hard hitting commercial.

1) A family leaves their house after it’s been foreclosed on by the bank
2) A husband and wife fight because money is tight and the bills aren’t getting paid
3) An employee is informed that he will not be getting a pay increase this year and should be just thankful he has a job.
4) The printing press keeps on printing money because Republicans and Democrats continue to spend it at record levels and run up huge federal deficits and debt.
5) Finally, the most disgusting part of the commercial, Republican and Democrat special interest groups feeding from a large Federal trough paid for by the American Taxpayer.

Democrats The Sanderman- also PCW Champion and ’The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism- PCW Television Champion run down to the ring at the same time the Republican Establishment (Corporate Might’s Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit) do. They bump into each other and an awkward moment ensues.


Why should you buy this book?

Jesusland v Progressiveville isn’t the usual predictable partisan trashing of the other side like other political books. J v P doesn’t pander to the fringes of both sides like most books do.

Jesusland vs Progressiveville parodies the very ones responsible for over the top devisive political discussion: Markos Moutilsas, Rush Limbaugh, Sarah Palin, Keith Olbermann, Chris Matthews, Ann Coulter, Ed Schultz, Glenn Beck, Bill O’Reilly, Alec Baldwin among others.

The cover with Sarah Palin and Keith Olbermann sums up just what our political discourse has become.

Brought to you by the same demented bunch behind Political Championship Wrestling and not bought and paid for by big corporations or either political party, Jesusland vs. Progressiveville is a political satire that would be f#$@ing hilarious if parts of the book wasn’t painfully true about the abject dysfunction in American politics.

Available at Amazon.com and other online bookstores.


Tom Tebow- Tim Tebow’s long lost, black sheep brother

(2) Tommy Tebow def. SNAFU in a hard hitting, hardcore showdown.

Post match, Tebow went up to former New Orleans Saints Defensive Co-ordinator Gregg Williams and collected a bounty for knocking SNAFU out.

PCW REWIND: May, 2011


Pippa Middleton dances in her bra for the PCW crowd.


Hilary Rosen (D) accompanied the PCW Women’s Champion Kathryn Randall Collins (D) to the ring. Rosen points up to the box where Mitt Romney is celebrating with his wife Ann and mocks Romney saying his wife helped him understand the economic challenges women face.

Rosen: “Guess what? His wife has actually never worked a day in her life. She’s never really dealt with the kinds of economic issues that a majority of the women in this country are facing, in terms of how do we feed our kids, how do we send them to school, and why do we worry about their future.”

KRC then compares her to Miss USA giving up her career for over a year to have a baby with her husband. KRC says Miss USA’s decision to put her family over her career is an affront to the women’s movement.


Out walks Miss USA flanked by the Mercenaries…


The Mercenaries: Dawn McGill and Svetlana Kovalevski

McGill, holding a kendo stick in one hand and her daughter’s hand in the other, and Kovalevski, carrying her son, challenge Code Pink and Emily S. List (D) to a match with a stipulation- if the Mercenaries win, KRC must put her PCW Women’s title on the line against Miss USA. If they lose, Miss USA, McGill, and Kovalevski will leave PCW.

KRC accepts and the match is on.

(3) The Mercenaries: Dawn McGill and Svetlana Kovalevski w/Miss USA vs. Code Pink and Emily S. List w/PCW Women’s Champion Kathryn Randall Collins (D)

Code Pink goes for the glitter bomb early but it backfires – literally. Pink blinds herself and she’s on the shelf for the rest of the match leaving List to fend for herself against McGill and Kovalevski.

Hilary Rosen tries to intervene but out of nowhere Ann Romney runs to the ring and tackles her. Rosen and Romney roll all over the ring causing ‘The Voice of PCW’ to shout:

Johnny Suave: “CAT-FIIIIIIIIIIGHT! CAT-FIIIIIIIGHT!

KRC then interjects herself into the match by dragging Kovalevski out of the ring and List locks McGill up in the Abdominal Stretch. List, seeing McGill’s daughter ringside, starts taunting her. Then she lifts McGill up to body slam her and feels a sharp pain in her derriere. She drops McGill and turns around to see McGill’s 2 year old daughter smiling. List, distracted, then gets walloped by a kendo stick shot by McGill and that’s all.

McGill gets the pin and Miss USA gets her title shot coming up Thursday night on PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN.

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Rick Santorum and Bobby Petrino- Out.

PCW Extreme Political TV
Campbell-Chapman Sports Complex
Sullivan, MO
Tuesday April 10th, 2012
Host: Johnny Suave


‘The Voice of PCW’ Johnny Suave and his life size cardboard cut-out of Shania Twain

Suave introduces Arkansas Head Football coach Bobby Petrino who walks out slowly with his neck in a brace and his face all scraped up. Suave asks him about the accident and why he conveniently forgot to mention to AD Jeff Long that he had his 25 year old mistress on the back of his motorcycle with him. But before Petrino can answer, some guy wearing an Arkansas Razorback shirt complete with Hog hat jumps Suave and then challenges anyone to a match.

*Def Leppard’s Tear It Down plays*

Suave: YES!


‘The Extreme Equalizer’ Whiskey Tango Foxtrot

Suave: IT’S THE EXTREME EQUALIZER- WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT!

Tear it down – There’s got to be a better way
Tear it down – I can’t wait another day
Tear it down – There’s got to be a better way
Tear it down – If only you could stay
All night long

Crowd: What the @#$#!…What the @!##!

Petrino: Oh, snap.

(1) ‘The Extreme Equalizer’ Whiskey Tango Foxtrot def. The Arkansas Kid w/Coach Bobby PetrinoWTF grabs The Arkansas Kid by the throat…lift…CHOKESLAM! He puts his foot on his chest…1…2…3.

Crowd: PCW…PCW…PCW!

Post match, AD Jeff Long comes out.

Long: Coach Petrino. You’re FIIIIIIIIIIIIRED!

BACKSTAGERick Santorum (R-PA) enters the building with A. Tom Bomb (R) and his entourage.

Suave: The hot rumor is that Rick Santorum is suspending his campaign tonight. Is this the end of the Republican contest?

(2) ‘The Japanese SuperDestroyer’ Yamamoto Tanaka (R) def. Daniel-SanTanaka, Mitt Romney’s (R-MA) wrestler, came out when Daniel-San called out John Creese and the Cobra Cons for attacking him last week during his match against Steve Torino- Car Salesman.

…Each man grabs a chair and they trade dueling chair shots. Creese helps Tanaka get the advantage by kicking Daniel-San low from behind.

Mrs. Miyagi runs into the ring out of nowhere with Halitosis- The Insane Luchador with the Insanely Bad Breath and protects Daniel-San. Halitosis suplexes Creese on a chair. Halitosis then grabs a chair but then the Cobra Cons attack. Creese pulls a metal spike out of his pocket and jabs Halitosis in the head with it! He blasts Mrs. Miyagi with a chair shot and then nails Daniel-San with the chair as well.

Tanaka drags him to the top rope and ends the match with a Japanese SuperDestroyer for the academic three count.

MATCHES SIGNED FOR JUNE’S PCW LOOSE CANNONS UNLEASHED 8 PPV:-PCW Television Title Match: ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D) (c) vs. Valora Salinas

MATCHES SIGNED ALREADY FOR NOVEMBER’S PCW EXTREME ELECTION NIGHT 2012:Ohio- Sherrod Brown (D) vs. Josh Mandel (R)
Virginia- George Allen (R) vs. Tim Kaine (D)
Massachusetts- Scott Brown (R) vs. Elizabeth Warren (D)

Suave notes Brown v Warren was an oversight from last week.

(3) ‘The Self Proclaimed Savior of the Middle Class’ Big Labor (D) def. Mitch Thomas- American TaxpayerAgain, the American Taxpayer no match for his opponent. Post match, Big Labor continued to beat Thomas down until Chris Christie (R-NJ) and Scott Walker (R-WI) ran out to make the save.

That brought out Big Labor’s tag team partner and co-holder of the PCW Tag Team title James the Jeep Worker (D) which brought out Scott Walker’s Rangers: John and Ronnie Walker and another brawl broke out.

Suave then reports on the Brad Company-Health Care- PCW Super Court situation. Following arguments made before the Super Court, the matter was now in the hands of the Super Court justices to make their decision.

PCW Hall of Fame Class AnnouncedSuave announced the inductees to the PCW HOF:
Wrestlers: ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido (I) and Starz N. Stripes (also known as ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott) (R)
Politicians: ‘The American Screamer’ Howard Dean (D-VT) and ‘The Mastermind’ Karl Rove

The class will be inducted at PCW’s Loose Cannons Unleashed 8 PPV in June.

Rick Santorum (R-PA)Santorum walks out and climbs into the ring. He takes the microphone and confirms that he is suspending his campaign.

Santorum: We made a decision over the weekend that while this PCW CEO race for us is over, for me, we are not done fighting. We had a difficult week with our daughter but Bella is a fighter and is doing exceptionally well.

Santorum then vowed to continue the effort to defeat PCW CEO Barack Obama (D-IL) in November.

(4) Miss USA vs. Emily S. List (D)- no contestPCW Women’s Champion Kathryn Randall Collins (D) and Code Pink both ran in and helped List destroy Miss USA.

*Sabotage by the Beastie Boys begins to play*


The Mercenaries: Dawn McGill and Svetlana Kovalevski

McGill and Kovalevski run down and make the save. McGill hits the Blunt Force Trauma on Code Pink while Kovalevski levels KRC with the Russian Crucifix.

Suave: It appears that Miss USA no longer stands alone against the PCW Women’s champion and the Democrats.

PCW is in Denver this Friday night. See you then.

Saturday, April 07, 2012

It's On- Gore v. Olbermann



PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN Report
Benton Harbor High School
Benton Harbor, MI
Thursday April 5th, 2012
Host: Johnny Suave


REPLAY: End of Tuesday Night’s PCW Wild in Wisconsin
Olbermann again starts going off about various things. Finally…

*Def Leppard’s Tear It Down plays*

Suave: YES!


‘The Extreme Equalizer’ Whiskey Tango Foxtrot

Suave: IT’S THE EXTREME EQUALIZER- WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT!

Tear it down – There’s got to be a better way
Tear it down – I can’t wait another day
Tear it down – There’s got to be a better way
Tear it down – If only you could stay
All night long

Crowd: What the @#$#!…What the @!##!

WTF: Keith. You’re fired.

WTF grabs Olbermann by the throat…lift…CHOKESLAM!

Crowd: PCW…PCW…PCW!

*Fleetwood Mac‘s “Don’t Stop” begins to play*


‘The Extreme Environmental Hardcore Icon’ Al Gore (D)

Suave: “IT’S HIM! HE’S HERE! THE TREE HUGGIN’, MOCHA CHUGGIN’, TOBACCO COMPANY BUGGIN’ ALPHA MALE AND ENVIROMENTAL EXTREME HARDCORE ICON…

The crowd sings the chorus “Don’t stop, thinking about tomorrow.” Gore holds up his mocha, inside an environmentally friendly biodegradable container of course, and chugs it down. Then he spews it out of his mouth into the crowd and then crushes the paper container on his forehead in a manly fashion.

The Environmental Extreme Hardcore Icon walks down the steps to the main floor. At the bottom of the steps, Gore pulls out another container of mocha, guzzles it down, spews it into the crowd, and then smashes the container on his forehead. Gore then wades through the main floor crowd to the ring. He climbs up on the apron, pulls out yet another cup of mocha, guzzles that one down, spews it into the crowd, and then smashes the container on his forehead.

Gore in the ring.

Gore: I suppose you all want to know what went down between Keith Olbermann and Current TV. All I can say is that Mr. Olbermann, who was paid a lot of money for showing up periodically to do his show and didn’t keep up his end of the bargain, apparently wants tens of millions more for not working. As the old adage says, when the law’s on your side you argue the law. When the law and the facts aren’t on your side, you pound the table. Let’s just say that Mr. Olbermann is well versed in pounding the table.

Voice: Hold on a second, Al!

Keith Olbermann and the minions of his Olbermann Broadcast Empire, formerly known as FOK, David Schuster and Shannyn Moore, walk out.

Olbermann: The Mets put Andres Torres on the DL today. That seems to have as much relevance to my lawsuit as anything you just said, Al.

Gore smiles and hands Olbermann a piece of paper.

Gore: This has plenty of relevance, Keith. Consider yourself served.

Suave: OLBERMANN JUST GOT SERVED…OH, SUIT PAPERS!

Olbermann’s face turns red and he tackles Gore.

Suave: CAT-FIIIIIIIIIGHT! CAT-FIIIIIIIGHT!

The OBE try to separate the two.

BACKSTAGE‘The Massachusetts Redblood’ Mitt Romney talks with PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein.

Romney: It’s time to get going. It’s time to start focusing on November’s PCW Extreme Election Night 2012 and PCW CEO Barack Obama (D-IL). It’s enough to make you think that years of flying around on Air Force One, surrounded by an adoring staff of true believers telling you what a great job you are doing, well, that might be enough to make you a little out of touch.

Bernstein: And?

Romney: And…that’s all.

Bernstein: Oh. You’re not going to screw up the aftermath of a victory again?

Romney: Not this time.

(1) Daniel-San vs. Steve Torino- Used Car Salesman- no contest

Daniel-San was about to slap on the Labell Lock when former allies John Creese and the Cobra Conservatives came out and attacked the former PCW Champion.

The Cobra Cons stomp away at a helpless Daniel-San until the crowd roars and Mrs. Miyagi sprints out with Halitosis- The Insane Luchador with the even more Insane Breath, to the ring. Halitosis uses his lethal breath to knock out the Cobra Cons and Creese escapes through the ropes.

Daniel-San sees Mrs. Miyagi and tries to shake her hand. Mrs. Miyagi turns around and leaves before he can do so.

Bobby Petrino Motorcycle Accident
Arkansas football coach Bobby Petrino shuffles to the ring. He admits that he didn’t fully disclose the fact that there was a 25 year old female passenger riding with him after his recent motorcycle accident.

Petrino: I have been in constant pain, medicated and the circumstances involving the wreck have come out in bits and pieces. That said I certainly had a concern about Jessica Dorrell’s name being revealed. In hindsight, I showed a serious mistake in judgment when I chose not to be more specific about those details. Today, I’ve acknowledged this previous inappropriate relationship with my family and those within the athletic department administration.

Suave: Apparently, Jessica Dorrell turned down riding First Class to her upcoming wedding and rode Coach… *rimshot*

Petrino then added…

Petrino: Do you know who I am? This is the freakin’ SEC. I’ve won 21 games at Arkansas over the past two seasons…

Arkansas Razorbacks fan: Y’all, there’s two college football coaches better than anyone else in the country- Nick Saban and Bobby Petrino. Sooooo-eeee.

Suave: Bama is ‘Roll Tide.’ Petrino is ‘Stop, Drop, and Roll.’

(2) Scott Walker’s (R-WI) Rangers: Ronnie and John Walker (R) def. Flavin and Tony Dreamboat

The Walkers win when Flavin tried to clock Ronnie Walker with the oversized clock around his neck and missed. Ronnie then got the roll up pin for the victory.

Post match, the PCW Tag Team Champions Big Union: ‘The Self Described Savior of the Middle Class’ Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker (D) attacked the Walkers. Once again, Rebecca Kleefisch (R-WI) is cornered- this time by Union Maid, and bombarded with invectives from both Big Labor and James.

*’Can You Hear the People Sing’ from Les Miserables plays*

Charlie Blackwell and Mike the Mechanic aka The American Heartland Coalition run out and make the save for Kleefisch. Big Union leaves the ring but Blackwell tells them to wait.

Blackwell: The number one problem with PCW is that both the Republican and Democrats have sold their souls to their special interest groups at our expense. The number two problem is that both Republicans and Democrats have a virtual monopoly on the political processes and have effectively excluded the American people a choice. As of right now, the PCW is going to be stuck with making the following choice for PCW CEO: a Democrat who promised change but delivered the same hardline political partisanism that he was supposedly against and a challenger foisted up by a Republican establishment totally out of touch with Main Street America.

Big Labor takes a step towards the ring but he’s blocked by Blackwell’s Les Miserables.

Mike the Mechanic: Charlie’s right. That’s not democracy. And both parties are so far out of touch with what’s really going on with average Americans that voting for either candidate in the fall when gas prices are ridiculously high, housing values have decreased, jobs aren’t coming back, is basically a coin flip. You can vote for one party who does the bidding of their special interest groups or you can vote for the other. Partisans win- the American people lose.

Suave: Earlier in the night, PCW Television Champion ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism quietly signed off on the contract to face PCW’s Queen of Extreme Valora Salinas in June at PCW Loose Cannons unleashed 8.

REPLAY: Tuesday Night’s PCW Wild in Wisconsin
Chism: What did I tell you? Valora’s a chick. She’s not a real chick though because everyone knows real chicks support Democrats. She knows there’s no way in hell that she can beat me. She’s probably back home washing the dishes or cleaning the house-

Out of nowhere, Valora jumps Chism and blasts him in the head with a lead pipe.

Suave: HOLY CRAP!

Valora busts him open with a second lead pipe shot and then puts the Katahajime on him.

Immediately, Harry Reid (D-NV) and Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) race to the ring and start shouting for help. Code Pink and Emily S. List run down. Valora lets go of Chism and then decks both with a double clothesline. She rams Code Pink’s head into the corner turnbuckle. Then she flings List through the ropes to the floor.

Chism tries to get up. Valora hits a running dropkick and Chism goes right back down. Valora drags the PCW Television Champion to the table and puts her finger in the bloody cut on Chism’s face. Then she signs the contract with Chism’s blood and as PCW security hits the ring, slides out and heads to the back.

Suave then reports on the Brad Company-Health Care- PCW Super Court situation. Following arguments made before the Super Court, the matter was now in the hands of the Super Court justices to make their decision.

PCW Hall of Fame Class AnnouncedSuave announced the inductees to the PCW HOF:
Wrestlers: ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido (I) and Starz N. Stripes (also known as ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott) (R)
Politicians: ‘The American Screamer’ Howard Dean (D-VT) and ‘The Mastermind’ Karl Rove

The class will be inducted at PCW’s Loose Cannons Unleashed 8 PPV in June.

House Show HighlightsSuave reveals that there was an incident last night at a PCW House show between PCW Women’s Champion Kathryn Randall Collins and Miss USA.

KRC came out to cut a promo and then described Miss USA having a child as a ‘career killer.’

KRC: Her career will never be what it should have been because of the choice she made.

Miss USA than ran out and another pull apart brawl ensued.

Suave: It’s going to happen…sooner than later. KRC vs. Miss USA.


Tom Tebow- Tim Tebow’s long lost, black sheep brother

Tebow is in the ring and rips Peyton Manning once again. This time, Manning walks out and challenges Tebow to a match. Tebow accepts but Manning then sends down the Japanese SuperDestroyer Yamamoto Tanaka (R).

Tanaka wins in short order with Manning cheering him on with the Japanese SuperDestroyer.

On the ramp clapping- New York Jet QB Mark Sanchez??????

Points Standings (from Real Clear Politics):Romney- 655
Santorum- 272
Gingrich- 140
Paul- 67

Thursday, April 05, 2012

Country Gets Crapped On- More On Olbermann

What you missed Tuesday night on PCW Wild in Wisconsin:

The Black Swamp Pirates came out and denounced the whole ‘pop-fication of the recent ACM awards and in country music in general.  Then they played this song…

Polished to a sheen, produced really tight
With nary a fiddle or steel guitar in sight.
And if it is, you’ll never know it’s there
Cause it’s buried far down below
It’s the warmed over pop crap on my country radio.
The suits in Music City, work on their ‘next big thing’
The Nashville machine cranks out the songs that they sing
But you don’t need a gimmick
Just some music in your soul
To write country songs you don’t hear on country radio

(chorus)
Now down in Texas, they still do it right
Play some ol’ time country music every Saturday night
I don’t see Rascal Flatts
Playing Gruene Hall Texas
Or John T. Floores Country Store
Cause it’s better than listening, to that warmed over pop crap, on my country radio.
Why am I hearing, that warmed over pop crap, on my country radio?

Now, all the music sounds the same, and the artists do too
Thanks to corporate conglomerates, all the radio stations sound the same too.
I hear the same voices in each town
Play the same song every day
From New York City all the way to LA.

(chorus)
Now down in Texas, they still do it right
Play some ol’ time country music every Saturday night
I don’t see Lady Antebellum
Playing the Broken Spoke in Austin
Or Cowboy’s Dance Hall, you know
Cause it’s better than listening, to that warmed over pop crap, on my country radio.
Why am I hearing, that warmed over pop crap, on my country radio?

When does CMT play videos, except in the middle of the night?
Since when did the country video channel become MTV lite?
I remember when Alan Jackson and George Strait
Said it best about Music Row
And the warmed over pop crap on country radio

(chorus)
Now down in Texas, they still do it right
Play some ol’ time country music every Saturday night
I don’t see Kenny Chesney
Playing Schroeder Dance Hall
Or Billy Bob’s Texas, you know
Cause it’s better than listening, to that warmed over pop crap, on my country radio.
Why am I hearing, that warmed over pop crap, on my country radio?
But why am I hearing, that warmed over pop crap, on my country radio?
Why am I hearing, that warmed over pop crap, on my country radio?

Keith Olbermann then called the Black Swamp Pirates the ‘worst people in the world’ eliciting this response from the band…

Keith, you hit it big at ESPN
But your tenure there came to an abrupt end
I know it seems so silly
They won’t let you in the building
Even when you went back, and worked for them again

Keith, you didn’t let them keep you down
So you traveled on from town to different town
Fox Sports didn’t work out well
MSNBC the first time was hell
Because of Bill Clinton, and Monica was going down

But on Countdown, you found the thing that finally worked
So you became more of an overbearing elitist jerk
They let you go again, you see
And Al Gore just fired you from Current TV
What will you do, where will you go, and who’ll let you come to work? 

All right, let’s go now…

(Big Chorus)
Keith
You’re the hero of the left.
And the cultural elitists
Who think they’re better than the rest
With your furrowed brow
Your mocking smile
Special Comments so serious and terse
I might be the worst person in the world
But you’re the biggest @######, in the whole wide universe

All right, everyone follow the bouncing ball and sing along!

Keith
You’re the hero of the left.
And the cultural elitists
Who think they’re better than the rest
With your furrowed brow
Your mocking smile
And Special Comments so serious and terse
I might be the worst person in the world
But you’re the biggest @######, in the whole wide universe
You said, I might be the worst person in the world
But you’re the biggest @######, in the whole wide universe

Olbermann then stormed out again after that.

Tonight, PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN.  We’ll hear from the new PCW Champion The Sanderman (D)