Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Arlen Specter: Romance Novel Writer? Plus Walker vs. Unions

PCW Extreme Political TV
Monday March 26th
Scott County High School Gym
Georgetown, KY
Host: Johnny Suave



Former member of the PCW Executive Committee, Arlen Specter (D-PA), read from his new book inside the ring…

Specter: Sarah Palin (R-AK) was a total charmer, very friendly. The few things she said were intelligent.  We were sitting virtually knee-to-knee in the cramped bus, and she radiated sensuality.   Her skirt rode above her knees—not exactly short, but close.

Suave: HELLO!  More! More!

Spector: I was in the whirlpool at the Senate gym in 2008, recovering from Hodgkin’s, when Ted Kennedy came over and climbed into the bath. Kennedy was one of the Senate’s giants, in many ways. It was as though a gigantic walrus had plunged into the sea, causing the level to swell. I’d never seen two men in the whirlpool before, but the tub was big enough for two or more. There was a sign that you had to shower before entering. I hadn’t checked that out with Kennedy, but I had neither an objection nor compunction about his coming into the bath. We chatted.

Suave: Okay.  I didn’t need to hear that.

Specter: John Thune, who looked like a movie star in or out of clothes, was constantly stretching. His lanky body seemed to have some kinks to iron out.

Suave: OKAY!  CAN WE GO BACK TO TALKING ABOUT SARAH PALIN, ALREADY?

(1) Ron Claude Von Dammit def. Magnum PO’d (R) w/Robyn Masters
Magnum nearly got the Porsche Plunge early on  but then RCVD took over.  Rolling Thunder, followed by the 5 Star Frog Splash for the win.


Suave notes that lots of people are watching PCW tonight in Georgetown, KY- even at the local Dialysis Clinic…

An elderly gentlemen is hooked up to a dialysis machine wearing a Kentucky shirt.  Another older man walks up to him wearing a Louisville shirt.  The Kentucky guy flips off the Louisville guy and they start to go…

Suave: Okay, wait a minute.  He’s hooked up to a dialysis machine and he’s fighting over the Kentucky-Louisville game?

It’s gets better.  A woman races into the room…


Ashley Judd

Judd clocks the Louisville guy from behind and March Madness breaks out!

Suave: Wait!  Can we say March Madness?

(2) Scott Walker‘s Rangers: Ronnie and John Walker (R) w/Rebecca Kleefisch def. The Green World Order: GreenPete and ‘Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee (D)

Post match, the PCW Tag Team Champions Big Union: ‘The Self Proclaimed Savior of the Middle Class’ Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker (D) attack Walker and his Rangers.

Wisconsin radio host John “Sly” Sylvester runs out and gets in Kleefisch’s face.  He accuses Kleefisch of performing “fellatio on all the talk-show hosts in Milwaukee” and sneered that she had “pulled a train” (a crude phrase for gang sex).

Suave: Seriously?  This from the party who claims the Republicans have a war on women?

*Def Leppard’s Tear It Down plays*

Suave: YES!


‘The Extreme Equalizer’ Whiskey Tango Foxtrot

Suave: IT’S THE EXTREME EQUALIZER- WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT!

Tear it down – There’s got to be a better way
Tear it down – I can’t wait another day
Tear it down – There’s got to be a better way
Tear it down – If only you could stay
All night long

Crowd: What the @#$#!…What the @!##!

WTF grabs Sylvester by the throat…lift…CHOKESLAM!

Crowd: PCW…PCW…PCW!

Suave: We’re headed for an all out war between Scott Walker (R-WI) and Big Union!

Mitt Romney (R-MA) Promo
Romney is in the ring…

Romney: One of most humorous I think relates to my father. You may remember my father, George Romney, was president of an automobile company called American Motors… They had a factory in Michigan, and they had a factory in Kenosha, Wisconsin, and another one in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. And as the president of the company he decided to close the factory in Michigan and move all the production to Wisconsin. Now later he decided to run for governor of Michigan and so you can imagine that having closed the factory and moved all the production to Wisconsin was a very sensitive issue to him, for his campaign.

Suave: Huh?

Romney: Okay…then there was this parade where the school marching band walking with my dad knew only ‘On Wisconsin.’

Romney bust out laughing.

Romney: So every time they would start playing ‘On, Wisconsin, On, Wisconsin,’ my dad’s political people would jump up and down and try to get them to stop, because they didn’t want people in Michigan to be reminded that my dad had moved production to Wisconsin.
 
The Price is Right Loser Horn

(3) PCW Television Champion ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D) w/the Skanky Rich Bimbos Kim and Chloe vs. Texas Jack (R)

This one doesn’t make it to the end as PCW’s Queen of Extreme Valora Salinas once again runs out and destroys Chism.  This time, Chism scraped himself off the mat and got on the microphone as the crowd chanted “Valora” at him.

Chism: Valora, I know you can hear the crowd.  I don’t need a crystal ball to know that our paths are going to have to cross again.  It’s not new to me.    For nearly a half of year now, you’ve attacked me at every opportunity.  The woman who defined PCW’s Queen of Extreme.  You came here again tonight and the same thing happened like every single night before.  You jumped me while I wasn’t looking and then walk away, happy to be here, with a smile on your face.  No more.  I destroyed you once before and I’ll do it again.  Why?  Because I have people to protect my back.  The Democrats.  Who do you have, Valora?  Nothing.  No one.  So, let’s stop all the pretenses and lets sign the damn match so I can destroy you again.



Why should you buy this book?

Jesusland v Progressiveville isn’t predictable partisan trashing of other side like other political books nor does it pander to the fringes of both sides like most books do.

Jesusland vs Progressiveville parodies the very ones responsible for over the top devisive political discussion: Markos Moutilsas, Rush Limbaugh, Sarah Palin, Keith Olbermann, Chris Matthews, Ann Coulter, Ed Schultz, Glenn Beck, Bill O’Reilly, among others.

The cover with Sarah Palin and Keith Olbermann sums up just what our political discourse has become.

Brought to you by the same demented bunch behind Political Championship Wrestling, Jesusland vs. Progressiveville is a political satire about the sorry state of American politics.

Available at Amazon.com and other online bookstores.

Sunday, March 25, 2012

Santorum Etch a Sketches Out a Win in Louisiana

PCW Nightmare in New Orleans Recap
Saturday March 24th

Lakefront Arena
New Orleans, LA
Host: Johnny Suave and his lifesize cardboard cut-out of Shania Twain



PCW traveled to the land of Mardi Gras last night for another big show on their ‘Roadshow Across America’ tour.

Replay from Tuesday night’s PCW Chi-Town Collision Show…
A-Bomb hits Tanaka with the crotch slam.   A-Bomb slaps a bearhug on Tanaka. The referee checks…Tanaka  fights and then escapes.  A-Bomb tries for a snap suplex but Tanaka avoids it.  Tanaka turns it around- gut-wrench powerbomb on A-Bomb.  Then another Powerslam! And another Powerslam! And a third Powerslam! Tanaka mounts him on the mat and punches A-Bomb repeatedly.


Suave: A-BOMB’S IN TROUBLE AND THERE’S NOTHING RICK SANTORUM CAN DO ABOUT IT!

Tanaka shoulder tackles A-Bomb and then drags him to the top rope.  Tanaka picks A-Bomb up and hits the Japanese SuperDestroyer to the mat below.

Suave: THAT’S IT!  HE AIN’T GETTING UP FROM THAT ONE.

Tanaka covers A-Bomb hooking the leg.  The Referee counts the pin. …1 …2 …3

WINNER: Yamamoto Tanaka (R) @ 15:26

Romney hits the ring and he’s ecstatic.


 
‘The Voice of PCW’ Johnny Suave and his lifesize cardboard cut-out of Shania Twain

Suave calls Tuesday night a big win for Tanaka and Romney.  Can A-Bomb…


A. Tom Bomb (R)

…bounce back tonight?

Mitch Thomas- American Taxpayer Promo
Thomas said he was exhausted from working 70 hours between two jobs to help make ends meet for his family.  He said regardless, he would come out tonight and give it everything he had against his opponent even though the deck was stacked against him.  Thomas said both sides (Republicans and Democrats) care more about pushing their special interest groups than they are ordinary, average Americans and then went to the ring.

(1) Jordan Metzger of ‘The Bureaucracy’ (D) w/Kendra W. Wallace def. Mitch Thomas- American Taxpayer
Metzger is the lead member of the Democrat‘s Bureaucracy stable and used the ‘Red Tape’ submission on Thomas, already choking on a national debt that’s increased as much in 3 years under Barack Obama than it did in 8 years under W, to win the match.

Metzger then took the American Taxpayer’s wallet, removed more money from it, and began to leave when Charlie Blackwell of the American Heartland Coalition ran out and decked him.  Blackwell locked Metzger up in the Katahajime and then took Thomas’s money back from the Bureaucracy and gave it back to the American Taxpayer.

PCW Executive Committee
The PCW Executive Committee had a moment of clarity and unity as it came together to vote 74-22 on a Transportation Package.

Said Barbara Boxer (D-CA): “I am very humbled by that because Lord knows it’s hard to find those moments when we can come together.”  James Inhofe (R-OK) agreed, admitting that he and Boxer worked closely on the project even though the two were ‘opposite extremes on many issues.’

The package was sent to the PCW Competition Committee.


Politically Incorrect (from left): NRA, Andrea Doria (up), Al Cahall (down), and Nic Koteen

(2) NRA and Nic Koteen of Politically Incorrect (R) w/Andrea Doria def. Brad Company and Halitosis (I) w/Mrs. Miyagi
Koteen ‘Smoked’ Halitosis out for the win.

Post match, Politically Incorrect was confronted by the Green World Order (Radishing Rick Rube- Agronomist, GreenPete, Extreme Vegan Brock Cole Lee, PeaceNick, and Peta from PETA.  The GWO came out to introduced PI to their new ‘ace’- Radishing Rick Rube, by having Rube, GreenPete, and Lee attack NRA and Koteen.

PI’s Andrea Doria and the GWO’s Peta from PETA also got into a…

Suave: CAT-FIIIIIIIIGHT!  CAT-FIIIIIIIIGHT!

Finally, ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott (I) raced out to even the odds and chased the GWO out of the ring.
Doria then got on the microphone and announced that Scott had joined Politically Incorrect.

Suave Talks with David Axelrod (D)
Suave discusses the disappointing turnout at several big PCW shows during the ‘Roadshow Across America Tour.’  Axelrod blames it on the Republicans and their lackluster candidates for PCW CEO.  Axelrod says it’s clear that the Republicans are trying to rig the process to make sure a Republican remains the PCW champion and that’s why no one is coming out to the shows.

Out comes the Sanderman (D) who challenges any Republican in the PCW locker room to come out.  He’s less than thrilled when RINO-The Wonk Machine strolls out.

(3) The Sanderman def. RINO-The Wonk Machine (R)
RINO gets attacked on the way to the ring by Big Union: Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker (D) who deliver a double Scabbuster to the Wonk Machine.

RINO then limps to the ring and gets bludgeoned by The Sanderman who uses his left fist wrapped in sandpaper to rip open RINO’s face.

PCW Competition Committee
The PCW Competition Committee struggles to find consensus to pass the Transportation package.
Tea Party members ‘Tin Cup’ Ray McAvay and Average Joe object to the high cost of the package along with the ‘Club for Growth’ and Leader of the PCW Competition Committee John Boehner (R-OH) can’t muster enough votes to call the proposal up for a vote.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

Peyton Manning- Denver Bronco
Peyton Manning, surrounded by his entourage, holds up his brand spanking new orange Denver Bronco jersey and handles an interview with PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein with the same careful phrasing and polish of a politician.

Then…


Pat Robertson (R)

…Pat Robertson weighed in???   Robertson says that Broncos treated Tim Tebow ‘shabbily.’

Robertson: Peyton Manning was a tremendous MVP quarterback. But he’s been injured, if that injury comes back, Denver will find itself without a quarterback. And in my opinion, it would serve them right.
Manning tries to laugh it off but then he’s attacked by…who?


Tom Tebow- Tim Tebow’s long lost, black sheep brother

Tom Tebow attacks Manning from behind but is dragged off the quarterback and tossed out of the ring by Manning’s entourage.

Suave: That was weird.

(4) Main Event: Yamamoto Tanaka (R) w/’The Massachusetts Redblood’ Mitt Romney (R-MA) vs. A. Tom Bomb (R) w/Rick Santorum (R-PA) and Daisy Cutter-Bomb
Tanaka, riding high after his big win Tuesday night, gets cut down to size by A-Bomb.   After Mitt Romney tries to interfere by swinging an Etch a Sketch at A-Bomb but potatoes Tanaka instead, A-Bomb uses several successive Atomic Powerbombs to subdue the Japanese SuperDestroyer and get the win for Rick Santorum.

BACKSTAGE
Tom Tebow approaches two men backstage and holds out his hand.   The two men turn around…

Suave:HOLY CRAP!  IT’S SUSPENDED NEW ORLEANS SAINTS COACH SEAN PAYTON AND SUSPENDED ST. LOUIS RAM DEFENSIVE COORDINATOR GREGG WILLIAMS!

Williams hands Tebow cash and then both Payton and Williams leave.

Points Update:
Romney 565, Santorum 256. Gingrich 141, Paul 66


Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Jeb Bush Makes the Call for Romney: PCW Chi-Town Collision

PCW Chi-Town Collision
Tuesday March 20th, 2012
UIC Pavilion
Chicago, IL

Host: Johnny Suave

MATCH #1- Yamamoto Tanaka (R) w/Mitt Romney (R-MA) vs. A. Tom Bomb (R) w/Rick Santorum (R-PA) and Daisy Cutter-Bomb

…A-Bomb monkey flips Tanaka onto the mat. A-Bomb climbs to the top of the turnbuckle. Tanaka gets hit with the shooting star press from A-Bomb.

Suave: HOLY CRAP!

The ref starts the count. …1 …2 Tanaka escapes.  Tanaka sends A-Bomb through the ropes to ringside.   Tanaka grabs a Steel chair…*CLANG* and hits A-Bomb.

Suave: A-Bomb is busted open from that chairshot!

Tanaka hammers him again with a chairshot and turns to Rick Santorum to taunt him.   Then he drags A-Bomb back to ringside and back into the ring.  Tanaka shoulder tackles A-Bomb- he pops right back up. Tanaka clotheslines A-Bomb.

Suave: WAIT!  THAT’S DAISY CUTTER-BOMB ON THE TOP ROPE!

Flying somersault drop kick by Daisy Cutter-Bomb sends Tanaka reeling.  Romney is incensed and screams at her.
A-Bomb climbs to his feet.  A-Bomb throws Tanaka off the ropes and hits him with a diving shoulder block.

Suave: A-BOMB IS ON A ROLL.  CAN HE GET BACK IN THE MATCH?

A-Bomb hits Tanaka with the crotch slam.   A-Bomb slaps a bearhug on Tanaka. The referee checks…Tanaka  fights and then escapes.  A-Bomb tries for a snap suplex but Tanaka avoids it.  Tanaka turns it around- gut-wrench powerbomb on A-Bomb.  Then another Powerslam! And another Powerslam! And a third Powerslam! Tanaka mounts him on the mat and punches A-Bomb repeatedly.

Suave: A-BOMB’S IN TROUBLE AND THERE’S NOTHING RICK SANTORUM CAN DO ABOUT IT!

Tanaka shoulder tackles A-Bomb and then drags him to the top rope.  Tanaka picks A-Bomb up and hits the Japanese SuperDestroyer to the mat below.

Suave: THAT’S IT!  HE AIN’T GETTING UP FROM THAT ONE.

Tanaka covers A-Bomb hooking the leg.  tHE Referee counts the pin. …1 …2 …3

WINNER: Yamamoto Tanaka @ 15:26

Romney hits the ring and he’s ecstatic.

Suave: BIG WIN FOR TANAKA AND MITT ROMNEY TONIGHT!

Points after last night:
Mitt Romney- 560
Rick Santorum- 246
Newt Gingrich- 141
Ron Paul- 66

Romney Promo
Romney stood in the ring and all but declared himself the winner.  He said Republicans had endured “enough” of the vitriolic and protracted primary fight and should move on to the main event.

Romney: For 25 years, I lived and breathed business, the economy and jobs,” he said. “I had successes and failures but each step of the way, I learned a little more about what it is that makes our American system so powerful.  You can’t learn that teaching constitutional law at the University of Chicago.  You can’t even learn that as a community organizer. The simple truth is that this PCW CEO just doesn’t understand the genius of America’s economy — or the secret of the American economic success story.

Charlie Blackwell of the American Heartland Coalition interrupted Romney’s remarks.  Blackwell says it doesn’t matter if Obama was or wasn’t a community organizer.  What really matters is that when Obama took office gas was under $2 per gallon; now it’s pushing $4.  Who gets hurt the most?  Ordinary working Americans.  Blackwell states both sides don’t care about middle America or else they’d tell their special interest groups to take a flying leap off a tall mountain.

Corporate Might: Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit (R) then come out.  Big Oil laughs at the plight of ordinary Americans and says it doesn’t matter how high the gas costs rise, they’ll still drive their cars. He tells Blackwell that the facts of life are those who have the gold get to make the rules and benefit from them.

Then the PCW Tag Team Champions Big Union: ‘The Self-Proclaimed Savior of the Middle Class’ Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker (D) come out and slam Blackwell and the American Heartland coalition for not joining a union.  Big Labor tells Blackwell that only he represents the best interests of middle class America and that he should be paying him to do that.

Big Labor: You don’t put your faith and trust in yourselves; you put it in me.

Then Big Union is attacked again by…

Suave: HOLY CRAP!  IT’S SCOTT WALKER’S (R-WI) RANGERS!

Ronnie and John Walker (R) brawl with Big Union.  Blackwell and Mike the Mechanic (AmHeart) fight with Corporate Might.

PCW Security rush down to the ring.

Jeb Bush Promo
Jeb Bush (R-FLA) spoke with PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein about the Republican race.  Bush said battles have been held in 34 states, and now is the time for Republicans to unite behind Mitt Romney and take our message of fiscal conservatism and job creation to PCW this fall.



Why should you buy this book?

#showplug Jesusland v Progressiveville isn’t predictable partisan trashing of other side like other political books nor does it pander to the fringes of both sides like most books do. #tlot #tcot

#showplug Jesusland vs Progressiveville parodies the very ones responsible for over the top devisive political discussion: Markos Moutilsas, Rush Limbaugh, Sarah Palin, Keith Olbermann, Chris Matthews, Ann Coulter, Ed Schultz, Glenn Beck, Bill O’Reilly, among others.

#showplug Our cover w/ @SarahPalinUSA and @KeithOlbermann sums up what our political discourse has become. #election2012 #politics #tlot #tcot

Brought to you by the same demented bunch behind Political Championship Wrestling, Jesusland vs. Progressiveville is a political satire about the sorry state of American politics.

Available at Amazon.com and other online bookstores.

MAIN EVENT- Non-Title Match
PCW Tag Team Champions Big Union: Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker (D) vs. Corporate Might: Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit (R) vs. Charlie Blackwell and Mike the Mechanic (AmHeart) vs. Scott Walker’s Rangers: Ronnie and John Walker (R)


This one’s an all out brawl.   Corporate Might and Blackwell/Mike the Mechanic don’t even bother getting into the ring.  They brawl all over the building while the PCW Tag Team Champions battle Scott Walker (R-WI) and his Rangers.

…Ronnie Walker up top with James the Jeep Worker…SUPERPLEX.  Ankle lock applied by Ronnie and James is stuck.  In comes Big Labor and he blasts Ronnie from behind.  James fights out and gets to the ropes.  James to the apron, Ronnie Walker grabs him, but here comes Democrat leader of the PCW Executive Board Harry Reid (D-NV).

Reid distracts Ronnie and then Big Labor hangs him off the ropes.  John Walker in and spears Big Labor- bouncing off his stomach and onto the mat.  Reid to the floor now, and grabs a chair. He slides it in, sets it up, while James grabs Ronnie.  He looks for a Scabbuster, Ronnie fights out.  Scott Walker pulls Reid off the apron.  Big Labor pulls Scott Walker back in and gets the Picket Line on him.  But Big Labor then tripped and hit his own head on the chair.  Ronnie jumped on Big Labor for the cover…1…2…3.

WINNER: Scott Walker’s Rangers (R) @ 14:44

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Obama On the Attack- Former Vice Presidential Candidates and Dead Presidents for Over 100 Years Beware


PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN Report
Rossview High School Gym
Clarksville, TN
Thursday March 15th, 2012
Host: Johnny Suave


The PCW Roadshow Across America Tour rolled into Clarksville, Tennessee on its way back north towards Chicago and Tuesday night’s big show in Chicago.

End of Tuesday night’s PCW Alabama Getaway Show
…Tanaka eats a boot to the face.  Knee clip by A-Bomb and cover…1…2…Tanaka powers out.  A-Bomb goes for the Atomic Power Bomb but Tanaka blocks it.  Tanaka charges. MISSES! Tanaka staggers out of the corner…ATOMIC POWER BOMB!  Romney calls for help but Santorum comes over and battles him on the ring apron.   A-Bomb lifts Tanaka a second time…ATOMIC POWER BOMB #2!   Corporate Might: Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit runs to the apron (why), and eats the rope assisted DDT from Daisy Cutter-Bomb.

A-Bomb covers! 1…2…3! Rick Santorum climbs into the ring and celebrates with A-Bomb.

Points Update:Romney 474, Santorum 228, Gingrich 137, Paul 64

Mitt Romney Promo
Romney (R-MA) says the whole math about who’ll have enough points to claim the Republican nod is an ‘insiders’ game.

Romney: But I think PCW wants to see someone who has the leadership, skill and experience to defeat Barack Obama in November, and a vision of conservatism that will get PCW back on track again.

Suave notes that Romney has made the whole ‘math’ equation a centerpiece of his argument.

Romney: I can’t tell you exactly how the process is going to work.  But I bet I’m gonna become the nominee – I sure hope I’m gonna become the nominee and if I am, I’m gonna be a strong nominee.

Suave: Mitt, the populist?  Really?

(1) PCW Television Champion ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D) w/the Skanky Rich Bimbos: Kim and Chloe retained over Mitch Thomas- American Taxpayer.
Chism won thanks to a  Congressional Budget Office report issued this week says that 3 million to 5 million people could move from employer-based health care plans to government-based programs as the Affordable Care Act takes effect. And in the worst-case scenario, it could be as many as 20 million AND The Congressional Budget Office said Friday that President Barack Obama’s tax and spending policies will yield $6.4 trillion in deficits over the next decade, more than double the shortfall in CBO’s own fiscal baseline — even after taking credit for reduced war costs.

Oh, and the fact that the Skanky Rich Bimbos both ripped off their tops causing the American Taxpayer to become distracted and prompting Suave to bellow…

Suave: WARDROBE MALFUNCTION!  WARDROBE MALFUNCTION!

Romney Promo #2‘The Massachusetts Redblood’ Mitt Romney talks with PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein about rising fuel prices.  Romney called Energy Secretary Steven Chu, Interior Secretary Ken Salazar, and Environmental Protection Agency administrator Lisa Jackson the ‘gas hike trio’ and said they should be fired for wanting energy prices to go up.

Corporate Might’s Big Oil (R), a member of the Republican Establishment, came out and tried to tamp down Romney’s remarks.

Big Oil: He doesn’t really mean that.  Lower energy prices equals less money for me.

Romney: Barack Obama has now decided that gasoline prices should come down. Well, the gas hike trio has been going in the other direction. Time for them to go, probably hand in their resignations if he’s really serious about that.

Big Oil: Shhhhhhhhhh…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=eeaM4t2Ycgk
Sarah Palin and the Far Right- An Obama Web Commercial

Suave: Did I miss something?  Is Sarah Palin running for office again?  An attack ad?  Seriously?

(2) PCW’s Queen of Extreme Valora Salinas (I) def. Code Pink (D).
Before the match, Code Pink apologized to the audience for her recent actions that accident left one of her Glitter Bombs in the hands of Salinas.

Last week on PCW Politics is War on P-SPANPink and Emily S. List (D) hit the ring.  Valora dumps Chism, grabs his Television Title belt and decks both women with the belt.  She delivers a double DDT and then tears the glitter bomb away from Code Pink.  Chism tries to pull himself up but Valora lights up the Glitter Bomb and the Television Champion goes right back down.  She leaves the ring with the TV belt to a standing ovation from the crowd.

Code Pink vowed she’d make things right during her match tonight. Then, she proceeded to get dismantled by the PCW Queen of Extreme.  Emily S. List came in late to try and help but Valora Border Tossed her out of the ring.

Valora again challenged PCW Television Champion ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’  Stone Chism to a rematch.

PCW CEO Barack Obama (D-IL)
Obama talks with PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein backstage.  He calls the Republicans ‘flat-earthers’ and then says this…

Obama: One of my predecessors, Rutherford B. Hayes, reportedly said about the telephone, ‘It’s a great invention, but who would ever want to use one?’ That’s why he’s not on Mount Rushmore because he’s looking backwards. He’s not looking forwards. He’s explaining why we can’t do something, instead of why we can do something.

Suave: WHAT?  Okay, first an attack ad on someone not running for public office.  Now, he’s attacking a former president…from 1877-1881? Who’s from Ohio- a swing state?

Washington Post- Glenn Kessler
Hayes, in fact, was such a technology buff that he installed the first telephone in the White House. A list of telephone subscribers published in the article “The Telephones Comes to Washington,” by Richard T. Loomis, shows that the White House was given the number “1.” …
Note that Hayes first tried the “wonderful” telephone at the end of June, and then had it installed in the White House just four months later. So, rather than “not looking forwards,” as Obama put it, Hayes quickly embraced the new technology… .
The president in particular has a responsibility to get historical facts right, and in this case he got them completely backwards. Obama mocked Hayes for “looking backwards … not looking forwards.”
Suave: Oops.  Here’s the thing and Jennifer Rubin in the Washington Post is right- what if George W. Bush or Sarah Palin had said this?  What would the reaction be? And attacking former presidents who haven’t been president in over 120 years?  What’s next?  Two guys kissing at a Rick Santorum rally?

Men Ejected from Santorum Rally After Kissing

Suave: Oh.



Why should you buy this book?
#showplug Jesusland v Progressiveville isn’t predictable partisan trashing of other side like other political books nor does it pander to the fringes of both sides like most books do. #tlot #tcot

#showplug Jesusland vs Progressiveville parodies the very ones responsible for over the top devisive political discussion: Markos Moutilsas, Rush Limbaugh, Sarah Palin, Keith Olbermann, Chris Matthews, Ann Coulter, Ed Schultz, Glenn Beck, Bill O’Reilly, among others.

#showplug Our cover w/ @SarahPalinUSA and @KeithOlbermann sums up what our political discourse has become. #election2012 #politics #tlot #tcot

Brought to you by the same demented bunch behind Political Championship Wrestling, Jesusland vs. Progressiveville is a political satire about the sorry state of American politics.

Available at Amazon.com and other online bookstores.

(3) PCW Tag Team Champions Big Union: ‘The Self Described Savior of the Middle Class’ Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker (D) vs. Charlie Blackwell and Mike the Mechanic (AmHeart)
The match goes to a no contest when again Scott Walker’s (R-WI) Rangers hit the ring.  Suave indentifies the duo as the Walker Brothers- Ronnie and John…

From PCW Extreme Political TV- January 11th, 2012
Big Labor lays out Ronnie Walker with a Scabbuster and then turns to John Walker and smiles.  He lifts Ronnie up a second time and hits him with a second Scabbuster.

Suave: “JUST PIN HIM ALREADY!”

Big Labor makes the cover…1…2…NO!  Big Labor pulls Ronnie up at the last second.   He calls for a microphone and tells the Walkers they showed some guts in showing up here to get their ass handed to them a second time.  Big Labor tells John to pledge his allegience to the true Savior of the Middle Class…

Suave: “That’s Self Proclaimed Savior of the Middle Class.”

…or else he’ll spike his brother a third time.  John turns to the crowd for help.

Big Labor: “You don’t put your faith in the hands of some rabbling scabs.  You put your faith in me.”

Yeah, those guys.  So now, they’re under the tutelage of Wisconsin’s Scott Walker and attack Big Union causing the match to be scuttled.  Could Big Union and the Walkers be on a collision course?  Stay tuned.
This Tuesday- PCW Chi-Town Collision

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Santorum Southern Sweep: PCW Alabama Getaway

PCW Alabama Getaway
Demopolis City Civic Center
Demopolis, AL
Tuesday March 13th, 2012

Host: Johnny Suave


‘The Voice of PCW’ Johnny Suave and his lifesize cardboard cut-out of Shania Twain

In the ring, Suave explains it’s long overdue to bring back the nicest piece of cardboard he’s ever known – Suave’s lifesize cardboard cut-out of Shania Twain.

Crowd: Welcome back…welcome back…

Suave then informs everyone that Texas Jack (R)- representing Ron Paul (R-TX) hurt himself while wrestling in the Virgin Islands and won’t be on tonight’s show.  Texas Jack won that match for Paul but suffered a concussion when Yamamoto Tanaka (R)- for Mitt Romney (R-MA) smacked him over the head with a steel folding chair and then for good measure gave him the Japanese SuperDestroyer from the top rope.


Politically Incorrect (from left): NRA, Andrea Doria (up), Al Cahall (down), and Nic Koteen

Doria gets on the mic and says it’s nice to be back in PCW.  She’s heard a lot of stuff has transpired over the past couple of weeks about Rush Limbaugh (R) calling someone a slut.  Doria says she’s not a Rush Limbaugh fan but finds it incredibly hypocritical that the same bunch of people who are mad at Limbaugh and want him taken off the air are the same bunch of people who have made similiar, if not more insulting, references towards women they oppose- Sarah Palin, Christine O’Donnell to name a few.

This brings out Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) and Keith Olbermann (D).  Pelosi states that Limbaugh’s values are the Republican‘s values when it comes to women.

Olbermann says he’s tired of the ‘false equivalency’ being trotted out between Limbaugh and things that he may have said.

Replay: Last Thursday’s PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN
…Olbermann apologizes to female conservative commentator S.E. Cupp for referring to her as ‘a perfect demonstration of the necessity of the work Planned Parenthood does.’ …

Olbermann tells everyone to stay on point because the true villain in this is Rush-

Replay: Last Thursday’s PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN
…Olbermann then apologizes to female conservative blogger Michelle Malkin for calling her a ‘big mashed-up bag of meat with lipstick on it.’

Doria then remarks that perhaps people should boycott Countdown with Keith Olbermann on Current TV if it weren’t for the fact that no one was watching the show in the first place. Olbermann pitches a fit in the ring and calls Doria the WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD!

*DING…DING…DING…*

Suave: I KNEW IT!

Replay: Last Thursday’s PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN
Olbermann also vowed to retire his ‘Worst Person’s in the World’ segment, again, and to attempt to avoid any ‘“gratuitously abusive remarks about women, and men.’


Suave: What’s the over/under on that happening?

Suave: FIVE DAYS!  FIVE FREAKIN’ DAYS!

Pelosi screeches to the back and out comes The Green World Order: ‘Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee, GreenPete, ‘Radishing’ Rick Rube- Agronomist,  PeaceNick, and Peta from PETA.

A referee slides into the ring and we’re off.

MATCH #1
Green World Order: ‘Radishing’ Rick Rube-Agronomist and GreenPete (D)
vs.
Politically Incorrect: NRA and Nic Koteen

This was a wild match with both teams interfering in the match.

The match turns when the Angry Left Wing Bloggers (Markos Moutilsas, Arianna Huffington, Eric Boehlert of Media Matters, and Full-Professor Paul Krugman of the NY Times) pulls NRA out of the ring and Rube and GreenPete doubleteam Koteen.

…Rube has an abdominal stretch locked in and grapevines the ankle.

Suave: HERE COMES THE TEA PARTY!

Average Joe and ‘Tin Cup’ Ray McAvay hit the ring.  Average Joe armdrags GreenPete over.  Neck breaker.  McAvay hits a Bulldog out of the corner on Rube and calls for his seven iron from his caddie Tromeo.   The GWO has it well scouted and blocks Tromeo.  Brock Cole Lee tosses Rube a flower pot and he smashes it over Koteen’s head.  Rube locks in the Grapevine submission and Koteen has no choice but to tap.

WINNER: Green World Order @ 9:23

Mitt Romney Speaks
PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein corrals Mitt Romney about the match and asks him about Rick Santorum’s chances tonight.  Romney says Santorum is at the at the desperate end of his campaign and is trying in some way to boost his prospects.  And frankly, misrepresenting the truth is not a good way of doing that.

Romney: He’s far behind in the point count. If you look at the math of how many points he’d have to win to become the nominee, it’s a very difficult road for him. And so, at this stage, he’s looking for some way to try and gain ground. I understand that. But I would hope you’d use truth as one of the pillars of your strategy as opposed to trying to come up with one attack after the other that, frankly, has been determined by those who take a careful look from the outside to be inaccurate.

Rush Limbaugh Promo
Rush Limbaugh comes out and he’s got a few things on his mind.

Limbaugh: One week after launching this all-out attack on your expertly trained broadcast host, me, El Rushbo, with talent on loan from God — a sure winner!  Going to launch Obama and the Democrats back to electorate success! What happened? It wasn’t a big winner for them. Didn’t work out the way they had all envisioned, didn’t and hasn’t worked out the way they had all hoped.  The excitement, the thrill, the anticipation. They said ‘Limbaugh’s finished, we’ve got the women back, we’re marching on the victory. It’s a done deal.

Limbaugh lights up an Arturo Fuente Don Carlos cigar, probably breaking some law regarding smoking indoors, and continues.

Limbaugh: Obama lost ground with women. I can’t begin to tell you the dismay and the shock and probably panic that exists in the White House and in the salons of the elites of the Democratic Party over this.  They didn’t even consider this a possibility. This never entered their mind. This was going to be the end — not just of me, folks … the end of talk radio.

Limbaugh smiles and finishes by saying the Democrats can’t get rid of him…no one can get rid of-

*Def Leppard’s ‘Tear It Down’ plays*


‘The Extreme Equalizer’ Whiskey Tango Foxtrot

Suave: WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT!

Tear it down – There’s got to be a better way
Tear it down – I can’t wait another day
Tear it down – There’s got to be a better way
Tear it down – If only you could stay
All night long

Limbaugh drops the cigar as the Extreme Equalizer bolts for the ring.  Limbaugh slides out and flees up the ramp with WTF close behind.



Why should you buy this book?

#showplug Jesusland v Progressiveville isn’t predictable partisan trashing of other side like other political books nor does it pander to the fringes of both sides like most books do. #tlot #tcot

#showplug Jesusland vs Progressiveville parodies the very ones responsible for over the top devisive political discussion: Markos Moutilsas, Rush Limbaugh, Sarah Palin, Keith Olbermann, Chris Matthews, Ann Coulter, Ed Schultz, Glenn Beck, Bill O’Reilly, among others.

#showplug Our cover w/ @SarahPalinUSA and @KeithOlbermann sums up what our political discourse has become. #election2012 #politics #tlot #tcot

Brought to you by the same demented bunch behind Political Championship Wrestling, Jesusland vs. Progressiveville is a political satire about the sorry state of American politics.

Available at Amazon.com and other online bookstores.
====================

MAIN EVENT:
Yamamoto Tanaka (R) w/’The Massachusetts Redblood’ Mitt Romney (R-MA)
vs.
Magnum PO’d (R) w/Newt Gingrich (R-GA)
vs.
A. Tom Bomb (R) w/Rick Santorum (R-PA) and Daisy Cutter-Bomb


Wild three way action as all three wrestlers fight as if their lives depended on it.

Eventually, Magnum gets eliminated at the 6:03 mark via pin by A-Bomb.

…Tanaka eats a boot to the face.  Knee clip by A-Bomb and cover…1…2…Tanaka powers out.  A-Bomb goes for the Atomic Power Bomb but Tanaka blocks it.  Tanaka charges. MISSES! Tanaka staggers out of the corner…ATOMIC POWER BOMB!  Romney calls for help but Santorum comes over and battles him on the ring apron.   A-Bomb lifts Tanaka a second time…ATOMIC POWER BOMB #2!   Corporate Might: Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit runs to the apron (why), and eats the rope assisted DDT from Daisy Cutter-Bomb.
A-Bomb covers! 1…2…3!

WINNER: A. Tom Bomb @ 11:30

Santorum hits the ring and celebrates with A-Bomb and Daisy Cutter-Bomb.

Points Update:
Romney 474, Santorum 228, Gingrich 137, Paul 64

Monday, March 12, 2012

Split Decision: Santorum Wins in Kansas, Romney in Wyoming

Wild in Wichita Results
Charles Koch Arena
Wichita, KS

Saturday March 10th, 2012
 
Radishing Rick Rube- Agronomist (D) w/the Green World Order vs. K-Roy (R) – Rube made his PCW debut with the GWO and won when he smashed a flower pot over K-Roy’s head.

Miss USA (R) def. Emily S. List (D) – The crowd was really hot for Miss USA.  List came out and cut a promo about Republicans being anti-women douchebags and called Miss USA a douchebag for siding with with them.  Miss USA won with the Patriot Missile after Code Pink came out and accidently Glitter Bombed List.

‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott (I) def. Steve Torino- King of Old School Sales.   Torino did a power point presentation before the match started and insisting that Scott didn’t know how to use the software so he kept showing him.  Scott got annoyed and then took Torino’s laptop computer and broke it over his head.

PCW Women’s Champion Kathryn Randall Collins (D) def. Lani Harlot (R) in a title match.  KRC got help from Union Maid (D) early on when Harlot locked in the White Trash Compactor and nearly forced her to submit.

‘PCW’s Queen of Extreme’ Valora Salinas (I) def. Brad Company (I)
-Post match, Valora cut a scathing promo on PCW Television Champion ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism following up on her beatdown on Chism Thursday night.

PCW Tag Team Champions Big Union: ‘The Self-Described Savior of the Middle Class’ Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker (D) def. Charlie Blackwell and Mike the Mechanic (AmHeart) -Post match, Big Union continued to attack Blackwell and Mike until Scott Walker (R-WI) came out with his Walker’s Rangers and made the save.

From Cheyenne, Wyoming: Yamamoto Tanaka (R) w/’The Massachusetts Redblood def. RINO-The Wonk Machine
-Tanaka made his stand in Wyoming and hit RINO with the Japanese SuperDestroyer for the win.  Romney was very pleased.

Wild in Wichita Match:
A. Tom Bomb (R) w/Rick Santorum (R-PA) and Daisy Cutter-Bomb def. Magnum PO’d (R) w/Newt Gingrich (R-GA) and Texas Jack (R) w/Ron Paul (R-TX)

Saturday, March 10, 2012

Olbermann Apologizes, Maher Supports Limbaugh Apology- WTF?



PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN Report
Paramount Skating Arena
Ottawa, IL
Thursday March 8th, 2012
Host: Johnny Suave


Recap of Tuesday’s Super Tuesday Spectacular Match:
…A-Bomb and Tanaka brawl on the outside.  Tanaka clubs A-Bomb with a belt.  Tanaka slams A-Bomb to the floor.  Texas Jack stays in the ring.  Tanaka throws A-Bomb back into the ring and covers A-Bomb.  He miraculously kicks out at 2.  Tanaka goes for a choke slam. Texas Jack decides to get in on the action by hitting Tanaka with a steel-folding chair.  Tanaka gets dropped. Texas Jack goes after A-Bomb next.  But A-Bomb moves and grabs the chair away.  Chairshot to the back. Chairshot to the knee. Texas Jack tries to run- he gets a chairshot instead.  A-Bomb channels his anger into an absolute dismantling of Texas Jack.  A-Bomb bloodies Jack with a chairshot to the face. He lifts Texas Jack…ATOMIC POWERBOMB!  Cover…1…2…3.

Eliminated: Texas Jack (R)

Tanaka sneaks up from behind and locks on the figure four leglock and leans back into it. A-Bomb, face registering intense pain, tries to hang on. A-Bomb finally taps out and is eliminated.

Winner: ‘The Japanese SuperDestroyer’ Yamamoto Tanaka @ 18:09

Mitt Romney hops in the ring and raises his arms in victory.

Tuesday night at PCW Super Tuesday Spectacular, Rush Limbaugh (R) apologized for comments he made about Sandra Fluke.

Limbaugh knows that last week, he was pretty hard on Sandra Fluke, he was tough, and he made a mistake. It’s amazing, Limbaugh admits, that he made a mistake. He said some mean things about poor Sandra Fluke and probably pushed the limits of what he should have say.  But Limbaugh says he went too far in calling her a ‘slut’ because he lowered himself…lowered himself to the Democrats level.  He lowered himself to every dirty, underhanded and despicable thing the Democrats have ever done.  And for that, he’s sorry.

Keith Olbermann (D) comes to the ring.  He starts by calling Kristen Powers one of Fox News’s ‘house tamed liberals’ for her assertion in the Daily Beast that there’s a double standard when it comes to the left and sexism and misogyny.  He then apologizes to female conservative commentator S.E. Cupp for referring to her as ‘a perfect demonstration of the necessity of the work Planned Parenthood does.’  Olbermann then apologizes to female conservative blogger Michelle Malkin for calling her a ‘big mashed-up bag of meat with lipstick on it.’  He went to claim that both remarks were not as bad as Limbaugh referring to Fluke as a ‘slut’…

Suave: Huh?  How?

Olbermann also vowed to retire his ‘Worst Person’s in the World’ segment, again, and to attempt to avoid any ‘“gratuitously abusive remarks about women, and men.’

Suave: What’s the over/under on that happening?

MATCH #1
RINO- The Wonk Machine (R)

vs.
The Sanderman (D)

…RINO stomps The Sanderman repeatedly.  High crossbody by RINO.  He climbs to the top of the turnbuckle, diving headbutt on The Sanderman.   RINO  with a running powerslam.  The Sanderman pulls himself up…RINO charges…GORE!  GORE!  GORE! COVER!  COVER!  COVER!…1 …2 …3

WINNER: RINO @ 6:35

Post match, the Religious Right: The Right Rev. Randy Richardson (Triple R),
Rev. Oral Hinnrich, and Rev. Buddy Flambe (R) ran down and attacked RINO.

BACKSTAGE
Bill Maher talks with PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein about Rush Limbaugh’s apology.  Maher says he hates to side with Limbaugh but he did apologize and liberals look bad by not accepting the apology and hates intimidation of free speech via sponsor’s pulling their ads from Limbaugh’s radio show.
Maher left and Bernstein flagged down PCW CEO Barack Obama for a quick comment.  When asked if the names Maher’s called Sarah Palin were worse than what Limbaugh called Fluke, Obama’s spokesman Jay Carney intercepted the question and responded that Obama can’t be the arbiter of every political statement.

Suave: Unless it’s someone like Rush Limbaugh who’s not contributing a million dollars to a pro-Obama PAC.

PCW Television Champion ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism
In the ring, Chism announces that he’s here to apologize…

Suave: Another apology?

…for the way he beat Valora Salinas (I) all over the ring in their match Tuesday night and sending her back to the kitchen- or to the women’s division where she belongs.

Suave: I don’t think that’s the way it happened.

REPLAY: Chism vs. Salinas Tuesday Night
…Chism is a bloody mess and Valora continues to beat him with a chair.  Both Skanky Rich Bimbettes are in tears as Valora nails him again with a chair shot.  Chism tries once again to head up the ramp to the back with the help of the SRB.  But Valora throws Kim and Chloe off the steps and grabs Chism by the trunks.  She flings him up and over the ring barricade.  Valora jumps on the barricade with the chair and jumps down.

*WHACK*

Suave: HOLY CRAP!

Chism says obviously the tape has been doctored because that’s not the way he remembered it.  Then Limbaugh races down the ramp.

*Def Leppard ‘Tear It Down’ plays*


‘The Extreme Equalizer’ Whiskey Tango Foxtrot

Suave: WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT!

Tear it down – There’s got to be a better way
Tear it down – I can’t wait another day
Tear it down – There’s got to be a better way
Tear it down – If only you could stay
All night long

WTF catches Limbaugh and grabs him by the throat.  Lift.  Chokeslam.

Crowd: WHAT THE #$##!  WHAT THE @#$#!

Chism looks down at Limbaugh and bursts out laughing.  Chism then starts to leave the ring but Whiskey Tango Foxtrot pulls him back in and grabs him by the throat, lifts, chokeslam.

BACKSTAGE
Marcy Kaptur (D-OH) talks with PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein.  She apologizes…

Suave: Geez, enough with the apologies tonight.

…for crushing fellow Dennis Kucinich (D-OH) in a dark match at Super Tuesday Spectacular.  She then asked Bernstein to hold on a second and pulled off her shoe.  Kaptur then scraped Kucinich from the bottom of her shoe and then continued the interview.



The year is 2017. In a world where harsh divisions and economic strife have pulled the United States apart, Stacey Martin, Kate Wilson, and the Washington Freedom Force find themselves on the front line protecting the, now, free city of Washington D.C. and the American Reconciliation Summit- an attempt to reunite the fifty states into one country once again.

But when a multi-national mega-corporation with another agenda in mind attempts to disrupt the reconciliation talks, Stacey and Kate face their biggest challenge to date. With the future of a possible reconstituted United States in the balance, can Stacey and Kate stop the forces against reconciliation from undermining the summit? Or will the corporation make sure the talks suffer a cataclysmic, catastrophic failure of nuclear proportions.

Written by the irrepressible, onerous, and uber-mysterious Mr. A. Nominous, Jesusland vs. Progressiveville is a roller coaster ride of a political satire lampooning the sorry state of today’s American politics.

What other book features a parody of Les Miserables and Smokey and the Bandit in the same story?  And it features a scene with PCW too!

================

MAIN EVENT:
Tony Dreamboat and Ron Claude Von Dammit
(I)
vs.
SNAFU and Steve Torino- The King of Old School Sales (I)

Both teams are introduced but the match doesn’t go off because…

Suave: HOLY CRAP!  IT’S VALORA AND SHE’S BEATING THE LIVING HELL OUT OF STONE CHISM!

…PCW’s Queen of Extreme Valora Salinas, bandaged up from Tuesday night, drags a bloody PCW Television Champion ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism down the ramp and slams him head first into the steel ring steps.  Chism flops to the floor.  Valora drags him up and rolls him into the ring.  She slaps on the Katahajime and Chism desperately taps even though its not an official match.

Code Pink and Emily S. List (D) hit the ring.  Valora dumps Chism, grabs his Television Title belt and decks both women with the belt.  She delivers a double DDT and then tears the glitter bomb away from Code Pink.  Chism tries to pull himself up but Valora lights up the Glitter Bomb and the Television Champion goes right back down.  She leaves the ring with the TV belt to a standing ovation from the crowd.

Suave: Well, at least she didn’t apologize for doing that.

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=etSh0w2tqt4
Larry the Cable Guy- "Lord, I Apologize"

Suave: Sheesh!

Kirk Cameron and Mike Malloy- WTF? Romney Does Enough: PCW Super Tuesday Spectacular -Hour 2

PCW Super Tuesday Spectacular- Hour 2
Battelle Hall
Columbus, OH
Tuesday March 6th, 2012
Host: Johnny Suave


Suave recaps hour one:
-Rush Limbaugh‘s ‘apology’ to Sandra Fluke
-Mitch Thomas- American Taxpayer vs. Big Oil (R) of Corporate Might w/Kirk Walstreit and Gordon Guyko
-Miss USA‘s return to PCW
-PBR (I) w/Chief vs. Kirk Walstreit (R) of Corporate Might w/Big Oil and Gordon Guyko
-Valora Salinas goads PCW Television Champion ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ into defending his title tonight

Magnum PO’d (R) w/Newt Gingrich (R-GA) Promo
Magnum is staring at Gingrich.   He says, Tanaka, Texas Jack, A. Tom Bomb.  The worst thing that anybody could say to you is that I am better than you. “I’m tired of it.  I’m tired of listening to it.  I’m tired of listening to people saying Newt and myself can’t get the job done.”  Magnum is PO’d and tired of people calling Gingrich a failure.

Gingrich says he’s tired of people saying that he’s on the way out.  That he shouldn’t have been in the race in the first place. That bothers Magnum.  He says Gingrich is his friend and believes that Gingrich is the best candidate for PCW CEO.  “I’ll bet my Ferrari on it.”

Robyn Masters walks in.

Masters: “That’s my Ferrari.”

Magnum apologizes.

MATCH #3- PCW Television Title Match
‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D) (c)
vs,

‘PCW’s Queen of Extreme’ Valora Salinas (I)
Valora gets on the mic before the match and tells Chism she doesn’t need him or anyone else to help her get ahead.  She doesn’t need to go before the PCW Competition or Executive Committee like Sandra Fluke did and act like she’s entitled to #@#@.

Valora: I don’t need anyone when I’ve got myself.

…Chism is a bloody mess and Valora continues to beat him with a chair.  Both Skanky Rich Bimbettes are in tears as Valora nails him again with a chair shot.  Chism tries once again to head up the ramp to the back with the help of the SRB.  But Valora throws Kim and Chloe off the steps and grabs Chism by the trunks.  She flings him up and over the ring barricade.  Valora jumps on the barricade with the chair and jumps down.

*WHACK*

Suave: HOLY CRAP!

Code Pink and Emily S. List race down the ramp.  List spins Valora around.  *GLITTER BOMB*  Valora’s blinded and can’t see.  Code Pink jumps on her back and puts Valora in the sleeper.  Valora bends over and flips Code Pink off of her.

Peta from PETA (D) of the Green World Order runs down next.  She has a bottle of chloroform and sticks a hankerchief over Valora’s face.  That knocks her out.  Code Pink and List help Chism back to the ring and the referee proceeds to count Valora out much to the disgust of the crowd.

Chism then goes off on a profanity-laced rant against Valora dropping all kinds of unflattering and sexist barbs at her.

Suave: Whoa, whoa, whoa.  Isn’t this the same group who complained about Limbaugh?  Where’s the righteous indignation?

Chism and the SRB leave the ring.  He slaps Valora and then runs off when she begins to move.

WINNER AND STILL PCW TELEVISION CHAMPION: ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism via countout at 14:33 

Suave is disgusted by what took place and blasts Chism.

Kirk Cameron Promo
Former Growing Pains teen star Kirk Cameron is in the ring with PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein.  The subject turns to homosexuality and Cameron says he thinks homosexuality is “unnatural and … detrimental and … ultimately destructive to so many of the foundations of civilization.”

This of course elicits differing reactions.  Then Left Wing talk show host Mike Malloy comes out and he’s ready for a fight.  Malloy mocks Christian tornado victims and taunts “their God keeps smashing them into little grease spots.”

*Def Leppard’s- “Tear It Down plays*


‘The Extreme Equalizer’ Whiskey Tango Foxtrot

Suave: WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT!

Tear it down – There’s got to be a better way
Tear it down – I can’t wait another day
Tear it down – There’s got to be a better way
Tear it down – If only you could stay
All night long

WTF runs down and grabs Malloy by the throat.  Lift.  Chokeslam.

Crowd: WHAT THE #$##!  WHAT THE @#$#!

The Extreme Equalizer then goes and gets a table and sets it up in the ring.  He lifts Malloy a second time and powerbombs him through the table.

Suave: HOLY CRAP!

WTF looks at Cameron who doesn’t look like he know’s what to do.  The Extreme Equalizer smiles at Cameron and then grabs him by the throat…lift…chokeslam.

Suave: If you believe in God, perhaps you should let him make judgments about gays instead of you.

MATCH #4- PCW Women’s Title Match
Kathryn Randall Collins (D) (c) vs. Miss USA

…Miss USA off the ropes…and right into a clothesline.  KRC covers and hooks the leg. Davey Keels counts. …1 …2 Miss USA escapes again.  Miss USA elbows KRC in the stomach.  Again, Miss USA off the ropes…flying shoulder block and that sends KRC to the mat.  Cover…1 …2 KRC escapes.   The Women’s Champion gets back to her feet.  KRC underhooks the arms…double underhook faceslam.  She covers  1…2…NO!  Shoulder up.  Miss USA pokes her in the eyes.  She’s up and trying to lift KRC for a suplex…but KRC reverses…she’s got Miss USA…EXPLODER SUPLEX!  And that one hurt Miss USA.  KRC drags Miss USA to the floor…AND HERE COMES CODE PINK AND EMILY S. LIST!

Suave: NOT AGAIN?

Code Pink Glitter Bombs Miss USA and she’s blinded.  The crowd again unloads its displeasure.  KRC drags Miss USA into the ring…lift…PERSONAL POLITICAL DESTRUCTION!  KRC cover…1…2..3.

WINNER AND STILL PCW WOMEN’S CHAMPION: Kathryn Randall Collins (D) @ 17:21

Code Pink and List continue to attack Miss USA after the bell.  Once again, ’Texas Cowgirl’ Haley Dallas and Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen (R) make the save and even the odds.  KRC, Code Pink, and List exit and head to the back.


The year is 2017. In a world where harsh divisions and economic strife have pulled the United States apart, Stacey Martin, Kate Wilson, and the Washington Freedom Force find themselves on the front line protecting the, now, free city of Washington D.C. and the American Reconciliation Summit- an attempt to reunite the fifty states into one country once again.

But when a multi-national mega-corporation with another agenda in mind attempts to disrupt the reconciliation talks, Stacey and Kate face their biggest challenge to date. With the future of a possible reconstituted United States in the balance, can Stacey and Kate stop the forces against reconciliation from undermining the summit? Or will the corporation make sure the talks suffer a cataclysmic, catastrophic failure of nuclear proportions.

Written by the irrepressible, onerous, and uber-mysterious Mr. A. Nominous, Jesusland vs. Progressiveville is a roller coaster ride of a political satire lampooning the sorry state of today’s American politics.

What other book features a parody of Les Miserables and Smokey and the Bandit in the same story?  And it features a scene with PCW too!

MAIN EVENT:
A.Tom Bomb (R) representing Rick Santorum (R-PA)
‘The Japanese SuperDestroyer’ Yamamoto Tanaka (R)- Mitt Romney (R-MA)
Magnum PO’d (R)- Newt Gingrich (R-GA)
Texas Jack (R)- Ron Paul (R-TX)

…again, Magnum PO’d is an early elimination.

A-Bomb and Tanaka brawl on the outside.  Tanaka clubs A-Bomb with a belt.  Tanaka slams A-Bomb to the floor.  Texas Jack stays in the ring.  Tanaka throws A-Bomb back into the ring and covers A-Bomb.  He miraculously kicks out at 2.  Tanaka goes for a choke slam. Texas Jack decides to get in on the action by hitting Tanaka with a steel-folding chair.  Tanaka gets dropped. Texas Jack goes after A-Bomb next.  But A-Bomb moves and grabs the chair away.  Chairshot to the back. Chairshot to the knee. Texas Jack tries to run- he gets a chairshot instead.  A-Bomb channels his anger into an absolute dismantling of Texas Jack.  A-Bomb bloodies Jack with a chairshot to the face. He lifts Texas Jack…ATOMIC POWERBOMB!  Cover…1…2…3.

Eliminated: Texas Jack (R)

Tanaka sneaks up from behind and locks on the figure four leglock and leans back into it. A-Bomb, face registering intense pain, tries to hang on. A-Bomb finally taps out and is eliminated.

Winner: ‘The Japanese SuperDestroyer’ Yamamoto Tanaka @ 18:09

Mitt Romney hops in the ring and raises his arms in victory.

Tuesday, March 06, 2012

Fluke Dismisses Limbaugh Apology: PCW Super Tuesday Spectacular- Hour 1

PCW Super Tuesday Spectacular
Battelle Hall
Columbus, OH
Tuesday March 6th, 2012
Host: Johnny Suave


The crowd shouted out ‘PCW!…PCW!…as the show began.  ‘The Innovator of Extreme Broadcast Excellence’ Rush Limbaugh (R) walked out to one third cheers, one third boos, and the other just…ehhh.
Limbaugh knows that last week, he was pretty hard on Sandra Fluke, he was tough, and he made a mistake. It’s amazing, Limbaugh admits, that he made a mistake. He said some mean things about poor Sandra Fluke and probably pushed the limits of what he should have say.  But Limbaugh says he went too far in calling her a ‘slut’ because he lowered himself…lowered himself to the Democrats level.  He lowered himself to every dirty, underhanded and despicable thing the Democrats have ever done.  And for that, he’s sorry.

Suave: Was that an apology?

BACKSTAGE
PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein interviews Sandra Fluke.  Fluke dismisss Limbaugh’s apology and says it doesn’t change anything.

Fluke: It is really important for us all to understand that this was not one person who went crazy and made ‘funny’ outrageous statements. This is evidently a segment of our political commentators who think that it is acceptable in today’s society to say these things about women.

Bill Maher, who has referred to Sarah Palin as a c***,  then walked by with a briefcase filled with a million dollars.  He asks which way to the pro-Obama super PAC.

Charlie Blackwell (AmHeart) goes to the ring with a microphone.

Blackwell: Here’s the thing. This isn’t about what Limbaugh said. This isn’t about standing up for women because if it was, the same group who are complaining about Rush would have gone ballistic over what Maher, and others have said about Palin, Christine O’Donnell etc. This is about scoring political points. This is about getting Rush. And at a time where gas is creeping up to $4 to $5 per gallon; at a time where our national debt is out of control; at a time where middle class Americans are struggling like hell to make ends meet, to pay their bills, to pay their mortgages, the fact that we’re talking about something a radio talk show host said is, frankly, offensive.

Suave: Amen!

Blackwell is then attacked by Political Correctness: ‘New Age Sensitive Guy’ Blaine Thomas-Taylor (D) and Andy ‘The Bureaucrat’ Riley (D)  Thomas-Taylor and Riley beat down Blackwell until Blackwell’s Les Miserables hit the ring and chase PC out.

MATCH #1
Mitch Thomas- American Taxpayer vs. Big Oil (R) of Corporate Might w/Kirk Walstreit and Gordon Guyko

Big Oil in control with a back breaker. He signals for the Oklahoma Driller and lifts Thomas up!  Big Oil signals for $5 dollars a gallon of gas and spikes Thomas.  Then rolls him up for three.

WINNER: Big Oil @ 4:11

Post match, Guyko takes Thomas’s wallet and removes all the money from it. But then former PCW Champion Average Joe runs down with Charlie Blackwell’s Les Miserables and Corporate Might takes its leave.

Suave: Well?  The oil companies are all but doing that to average Americans already…

INFIRMARY-BACKSTAGE
PCW Television Champion ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism sits, bundled up in a blanket and with a thermometer sticking out of his mouth.  Chism shivers and coughs.  The doctor removes the thermometer.

Doctor: Perfectly normal.  98.6.

Chism can’t believe it.  What about the intense intestinal discomfort he’s felt in the past week?  Chism claims there has to be something wrong with him.

Replay- PCW Television TItle Match from last week’s PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN: Halitosis (I) vs. TV Champion ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D)
Chism worked the Republicans in the crowd by telling them how much he hated conservatives.  This was a good back and forth match until Valora Salinas ran to the ring.  Chism took off to the men’s locker room and reportedly spent several minutes in the bathroom as Valora pounded on the locker room door.

Doctor: Yeah, Valora Salinas scares the crap out of you…literally.

Chism becomes enraged and clocks the Doctor.  Then he kicks away at him before storming out the door.

Back in the ring
PCW Women’s Champion Kathryn Randall Collins (D) has her own beef with PCW’s Queen of Extreme Valora Salinas (I).  KRC is pissed over Valora’s ‘unprovoked’ attack on her during the PCW Political Oscar show last Monday night.  KRC says she wants Valora in the ring when a familiar face walks out…

 
Miss USA

Suave: HOLY CRAP!

The crowd roars as the red, white, and blue clad Miss USA, an old rival of KRC’s, climbs into the ring with KRC.  Miss USA tells KRC that in her mind she might be the modern epitome of the American woman, but Miss USA has had a baby.  And she’s back in PCW working helping her husband and family paying the bills. KRC tries to interrupt but Miss USA goes on.

Miss USA: It seems to me that the only choice you and your ilk support is choice that fits your agenda.
Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) runs out and demands Miss USA stop and says that this isn’t going to happen because this is her show and her women’s division. PCW Competition Committee Chief John Boehner (R-OH) grabs her mic and tells her she’s wrong.

KRC blindsides Miss USA and decks her.  Then Code Pink and Emily List run out and they take turns kicking away at MIss USA.  Then the crowd roars when…

’Texas Cowgirl’ Haley Dallas and Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen (R) run down and even the odds.  KRC, Code Pink, and List exit the ring and head to the back.

MATCH #2

PBR (I) w/Chief
vs.


Kirk Walstreit (R) of Corporate Might w/Big Oil and Gordon Guyko


…Walstreit crawls to a pin.  But Chief springboards himself forward and clotheslines Walstreit   Big Oil in the ring.  Swinging neckbreaker to Chief.  Then he sends Chief over the top rope.  High knee to PBR!  Walstreit rolls PBR over and goes up top!  Big Oil then drags PBR up and sets him in position.  He’s calling for a top rope Stock Market Plunge! Yes! 1…2…3.

WINNER: Kirk Walstreit (R) @ 15:36

‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism Promo
Chism, with the Skanky Rich Bimbettes Kim and Chloe, says he’s had it.  He’s had it with all the jokes and all the bathroom humor.  He’s had it with the insults and the sneak attacks.  Chism says it’s great to be there- as the PCW Television champion.  That’s right- the PCW Television Champion.  The most dominant PCW Television champion ever.  His honor has been besmirched, and now he’s going to do something about it.  Then he calls out…Charlie Blackwell?

Suave: CHARLIE BLACKWELL?

The crowd chants ‘Valora…Valora’ as Blackwell, puzzled as all hell, walks out.  He tells Chism he has no clue what he’s talking about but there’s someone backstage who does.



PCW’s Queen of Extreme, Valora Salinas (I) walks out.  She gets a great reaction, and is carrying the steel pipe she debuted last night. Valora asks Chism “When did you become such a bitch?” and the crowd explodes.  Chism goes nuts and screams “you can’t say that to me, I’m the One Man Hollywood A-List!”  Chism challenges Valora to match tonight to settle this once and for all as the crowd chanted ‘Valora’s going to kill you.’

Suave sets up hour two…

-PCW Television Title Match: Champion ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D) vs. PCW’s Queen of Extreme Valora Salinas (I)

-PCW Women’s Title Match: Kathryn Randall Collins (D) vs. Miss USA

-PCW Super Tuesday Spectacular Match:
A.Tom Bomb (R) representing Rick Santorum (R-PA)
‘The Japanese SuperDestroyer’ Yamamoto Tanaka (R)- Mitt Romney (R-MA)
Magnum PO’d (R)- Newt Gingrich (R-GA)
Texas Jack (R)- Ron Paul (R-TX).

Suave: Back with hour 2.