Saturday, July 14, 2012

Nick Saban’s Daughter- Future Pro Wrestler?: 7/12 PCW on P-SPAN- Part 2

Designer Ralph Lauren unveils the official uniform of the United States Olympic Team for the opening/closing ceremony.

When Lauren is asked where the uniforms came from? “China.”

*Def Leppard’s Tear It Down plays*

Suave: YES!

‘The Extreme Equalizer’ Whiskey Tango Foxtrot


Tear it down – There’s got to be a better way
Tear it down – I can’t wait another day
Tear it down – There’s got to be a better way
Tear it down – If only you could stay
All night long

Crowd: What the @#$#!…What the @!##!

Extreme Equalizer Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, wearing clothing made in the USA, races down the aisle to the ring. The four people modeling the uniforms scattered leaving poor Lauren in the ring.

Kick to the balls. Lift. Chokeslam.

Crowd: PCW!…PCW!…PCW!…

Backstage, PCW Executive Committee Chief Harry Reid (D-NV) watches the monitor and shakes his head. He then comments that the uniforms should be burned.

PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein has PCW Competition Committee Chief John Boehner (R-OH). Boehner’s comment: “They should have known better.”

‘The Big F-ing Deal’ Joe Biden (D-DE) at the NAACP
Following Romney’s appearance, Biden cuts a promo on the Republican and tells the NAACP that Mitt would turn everything back to the way it was before if he became PCW CEO. Biden says we’re not going to let that happen and then brings out four new wrestlers to punctuate the point:

Bain (no, not the comic book character from Batman…geez)
HT: 6-6 WT: 300
HOME: Boston, MA

The Chicago Boss SquadCharlie Ranck and Pete Fyle w/ Boss Mark Ditka

Paddy O’KennedyHT: 6′ 1″ WT: 225
HOME: Brookline, MA

Biden says Romney had better get used to the fact that he’s going to get an earful of Bain all summer long.

5) Daniel-San (D) def. Entitlement EricEric came out drinking a beer. Daniel-San took his beer and spit it at Eric. He immediately took him down and started laying in some shots. Daniel-San hits an inverted blockbuster. Daniel-San follows with a Cobra Clutch legsweep, and he then locked in the LaBell Lock. Eric taps out @ 3:06

Eric gets on the mic and whines that he never had a chance in the match because Daniel-San was too good. PCW should have put him in the ring with someone “not nearly as good.”

Extreme Plaintiff Attorneys Felcher and Felcher come down and agree to take on his case.

Code Pink (D) responds to what Jill Berg (R) said earlier. Pink calls Berg a soulless automaton interested in accumulating money at the expense of the disenfranchised. She says it’s bad enough the PCW Women’s champion, Miss USA, betrayed her fellow females by putting her family first instead of her career. If Jill Berg becomes the PCW Women’s Champion, it will set women back even further.

6) Triple R (D) def. Franklin D. Roosevelt- Covert Ninja Mercenary
Triple R continues his revival by tapping FDR out at 2:23 when he hooked up a set of jumper cables to his steel leg braces and attached it to an electric generator.

This brought out the PCW Blue Brand Champion ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D). Chism tells Triple R he gets the fact that the two of them don’t see eye to eye and probably never will. But the extreme manner of which Triple R does his thing turns off a lot of people.

Triple R tells Chism point blank he doesn’t give a *bleep* bout the fans. Most ordinary people are *bleep*ing sheep…or literally *bleeping* sheep for all he knows. They need to be led by the nose by people who are smarter than them. Triple R calls them stupid and that the Republicans are even dumber. “Fight fire with fire. Defeat extremists by being even more extreme.”

Staredown with Triple R and Chism follows. Then…


No, it’s not Triple R vs. Chism…

MAIN EVENT: Kristen Saban vs. Sarah Grimes in a Sorority Sister Slaughterhouse match

Suave: WTF?

Kristen Saban is the daughter of Alabama head football coach Nick Saban. Grimes is a member of Saban’s sorority at the University of Alabama.

Nick Saban’s Daughter Gets Sued For Beating the Snot out of Her Sorority Sister- Sean Pendergast, Houston News-seriously, you can’t make this up…

Saban shouts “NO ONE LIKES YOU!” across the ring at Grimes. Grimes responds that Saban is ‘crazy.’ And it’s on. Saban zips across the ring and pushes Grimes into the corner. Saban takes her head and slams it into the corner turnbuckle. Grimes pushes Saban away and tries to get out of the ring. Saban drags her back in.

Saban with a Lou Thesz press and starts raining down rights and lefts on Grimes.

Suave: “HOLY CRAP!”

Saban pulls Grimes up by the hair and whips her into the corner. Grimes again tries to climb out of the ring but Saban grabs her by the hair and yanks her back in. Saban takes off one of her shoes and starts whapping Grimes with it.

Appalled at what’s going on in the ring, Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) directs PCW Security to hit the ring much to the crowd’s displeasure and pull Saban away from Grimes. Medical personnel rush over to Grimes followed by PCW’s Extreme Plantiff Attorneys Felcher and Felcher. As Grimes is being attended to, one of the Felchers hands her a business card as the show ends.

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