Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Rick Santorum and Bobby Petrino- Out.

PCW Extreme Political TV
Campbell-Chapman Sports Complex
Sullivan, MO
Tuesday April 10th, 2012
Host: Johnny Suave


‘The Voice of PCW’ Johnny Suave and his life size cardboard cut-out of Shania Twain

Suave introduces Arkansas Head Football coach Bobby Petrino who walks out slowly with his neck in a brace and his face all scraped up. Suave asks him about the accident and why he conveniently forgot to mention to AD Jeff Long that he had his 25 year old mistress on the back of his motorcycle with him. But before Petrino can answer, some guy wearing an Arkansas Razorback shirt complete with Hog hat jumps Suave and then challenges anyone to a match.

*Def Leppard’s Tear It Down plays*

Suave: YES!


‘The Extreme Equalizer’ Whiskey Tango Foxtrot

Suave: IT’S THE EXTREME EQUALIZER- WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT!

Tear it down – There’s got to be a better way
Tear it down – I can’t wait another day
Tear it down – There’s got to be a better way
Tear it down – If only you could stay
All night long

Crowd: What the @#$#!…What the @!##!

Petrino: Oh, snap.

(1) ‘The Extreme Equalizer’ Whiskey Tango Foxtrot def. The Arkansas Kid w/Coach Bobby PetrinoWTF grabs The Arkansas Kid by the throat…lift…CHOKESLAM! He puts his foot on his chest…1…2…3.

Crowd: PCW…PCW…PCW!

Post match, AD Jeff Long comes out.

Long: Coach Petrino. You’re FIIIIIIIIIIIIRED!

BACKSTAGERick Santorum (R-PA) enters the building with A. Tom Bomb (R) and his entourage.

Suave: The hot rumor is that Rick Santorum is suspending his campaign tonight. Is this the end of the Republican contest?

(2) ‘The Japanese SuperDestroyer’ Yamamoto Tanaka (R) def. Daniel-SanTanaka, Mitt Romney’s (R-MA) wrestler, came out when Daniel-San called out John Creese and the Cobra Cons for attacking him last week during his match against Steve Torino- Car Salesman.

…Each man grabs a chair and they trade dueling chair shots. Creese helps Tanaka get the advantage by kicking Daniel-San low from behind.

Mrs. Miyagi runs into the ring out of nowhere with Halitosis- The Insane Luchador with the Insanely Bad Breath and protects Daniel-San. Halitosis suplexes Creese on a chair. Halitosis then grabs a chair but then the Cobra Cons attack. Creese pulls a metal spike out of his pocket and jabs Halitosis in the head with it! He blasts Mrs. Miyagi with a chair shot and then nails Daniel-San with the chair as well.

Tanaka drags him to the top rope and ends the match with a Japanese SuperDestroyer for the academic three count.

MATCHES SIGNED FOR JUNE’S PCW LOOSE CANNONS UNLEASHED 8 PPV:-PCW Television Title Match: ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D) (c) vs. Valora Salinas

MATCHES SIGNED ALREADY FOR NOVEMBER’S PCW EXTREME ELECTION NIGHT 2012:Ohio- Sherrod Brown (D) vs. Josh Mandel (R)
Virginia- George Allen (R) vs. Tim Kaine (D)
Massachusetts- Scott Brown (R) vs. Elizabeth Warren (D)

Suave notes Brown v Warren was an oversight from last week.

(3) ‘The Self Proclaimed Savior of the Middle Class’ Big Labor (D) def. Mitch Thomas- American TaxpayerAgain, the American Taxpayer no match for his opponent. Post match, Big Labor continued to beat Thomas down until Chris Christie (R-NJ) and Scott Walker (R-WI) ran out to make the save.

That brought out Big Labor’s tag team partner and co-holder of the PCW Tag Team title James the Jeep Worker (D) which brought out Scott Walker’s Rangers: John and Ronnie Walker and another brawl broke out.

Suave then reports on the Brad Company-Health Care- PCW Super Court situation. Following arguments made before the Super Court, the matter was now in the hands of the Super Court justices to make their decision.

PCW Hall of Fame Class AnnouncedSuave announced the inductees to the PCW HOF:
Wrestlers: ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido (I) and Starz N. Stripes (also known as ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott) (R)
Politicians: ‘The American Screamer’ Howard Dean (D-VT) and ‘The Mastermind’ Karl Rove

The class will be inducted at PCW’s Loose Cannons Unleashed 8 PPV in June.

Rick Santorum (R-PA)Santorum walks out and climbs into the ring. He takes the microphone and confirms that he is suspending his campaign.

Santorum: We made a decision over the weekend that while this PCW CEO race for us is over, for me, we are not done fighting. We had a difficult week with our daughter but Bella is a fighter and is doing exceptionally well.

Santorum then vowed to continue the effort to defeat PCW CEO Barack Obama (D-IL) in November.

(4) Miss USA vs. Emily S. List (D)- no contestPCW Women’s Champion Kathryn Randall Collins (D) and Code Pink both ran in and helped List destroy Miss USA.

*Sabotage by the Beastie Boys begins to play*


The Mercenaries: Dawn McGill and Svetlana Kovalevski

McGill and Kovalevski run down and make the save. McGill hits the Blunt Force Trauma on Code Pink while Kovalevski levels KRC with the Russian Crucifix.

Suave: It appears that Miss USA no longer stands alone against the PCW Women’s champion and the Democrats.

PCW is in Denver this Friday night. See you then.

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