Wednesday, February 08, 2012

Santorum Surprise!: PCW Minnesota Mayhem Results

PCW Minnesota Mayhem Results
Williams Arena
Minneapolis, MN
Tuesday February 7th, 2012
Announcer: Johnny Suave

The second ever PCW ‘Roadshow Across America’ tour made a stop tonight in Minneapolis for tonight’s Minnesota Mayhem show.

‘The Massachusetts Redblood’ Mitt Romney (R-MA) entered the arena in high spirits along with his wrestler, Yamamoto Tanaka (R).  Tanaka has torn through the Republican competition since he switched sides and looked to continue that trend tonight.

Who looked to stem the Romney tidal wave?  Rick Santorum (R-PA) and his charge, The Right Rev. Randy Richardson- the former Triple R, that’s who.

The Right Rev. Randy Richardson
HT: 6′ 3″ WT: 235, HOME: Scarsdale, NY
FIN:  Chairshot or Caneshot
Richardson walked out with the God Squad

Rev. Oral Hinnrich
HT: 6-0  WT: 190, HOME: Biloxi, Mississippi
FIN: P.O.C. (Power of Christ)
MGR: Sister Mary Marlboro

Rev. Buddy Flambe
HT: 5-11 WT 189, HOME: Beaumont, Texas
FIN: P.O.C.

…and said that he knows that his reputation precedes him.  Richardson admits that he’s always been his worst enemy and that too many times in the past  he’s cost himself the PCW title.  Tonight that changes.  Richardson claims he’s more at peace with himself right now then he’s been at any point in his career.
The crowd buzzed when the Japanese Superdestroyer Yamamoto Tanaka (R) ran out and delivered a preemptive strike on Richardson.

…Tanaka hits a frog splash on Richardson. Tanaka goes to the top and hits a flying sitdown splash.

Suave: “HOLY CRAP!  HE’S GOING TO KILL HIM!”

Tanaka back to his feet and calls to the back.  Corporate Might:  Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit, PCW Champion Daniel-San with John Creese and the Cobra Cons run to ringside.  Big Oil spikes Richardson’s head into the mat with an Oklahoma Driller.   Walstreit sets Richardson up and hits him with the Stock Market Plunge.  Rev. Flambe and Rev. Hinnrich try to help out but Walstreit bats them away.  Then he piledrives Rev. Flambe.  Daniel-San clotheslines Rev. Hinnrich.  Daniel-San hits a gut-wrench suplex on Richardson. Creese sets Richardson up and Daniel-San decks the Rev. with a Crane Kick.    Tanaka drags Richardson onto the top turnbuckle.

Suave: “NO!  SOMEONE STOP HIM!”

Yeah, too late.  One Japanese SuperDestroyer later Richardson is out cold!  For good measure,  Daniel-San hits the shooting star press on Richardson and then splits with Creese and company.

So, Richardson gets taken out by Tanaka.  Santorum goes to the back and berates Romney who feigns any knowledge of the attack.

MATCH #1
‘New Age Sensitive Guy’ Blaine Thomas-Taylor (D) of Politically Correct w/ Soccer Mom (D)
vs.
T-Roy (R) w/former head of the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure Karen Handel 


[Elbow Drop on Thomas-Taylor by T-Roy.   Soccer Mom climbs to the ring apron.  She distracts T-Roy and ... BOOM- New Age Sensitive Guy blasts T-Roy in an old school sensitive area.   Then the new group Planned Parenthood (Democrats Jordan Metzger and Kendra W. Wallace) hit the ring and tackle Handel to the mat.  Metzger punches T-Roy repeatedly while Wallace wrestles with Handel on the mat.   Shoulder tackle by Thomas-Taylor on T-Roy and the New Age Sensitive Guy apologzies afterwards.  Metzger with a Neck Breaker.  Wallace spins turns Handel around and boots her in the ass.  Thomas-Taylor goes for the pin...1 ...2 ...3 ]

WINNER: ‘New Age Sensitive Guy’ Blaine Thomas-Taylor @ 8:20

Post match, the beatdown continued and Planned Parenthood taunted Handel who was sprawled out on the mat.

Suave noted that Handel may not have handled her issues with Planned Parenthood very well.

Big Oil Promo
Big Oil (R) claims that the end of the world is here because… GAS PRICES WILL GO BACK OVER $4 A GALLON BY MEMORIAL DAY!  Big Oil laughs and calls everyone who complains about the rising cost of gasoline nothing more than a Big Oil wannabe.   Big Oil pulls out a wad of cash and starts counting the bills.  He points to all sections of the arena and says the whole arena was filled with Big Oil wannabe’s.  Then as he leaves, Big Oil points some more people out in the crowd and calls them wannabes!

Suave: “Well, that sucks.”

PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein in the back with Rick Santorum.  Bernstein asks him with Rev. Richardson being taken out, who was he considering to take his place.  Santorum, looking very concerned, responded that ‘he didn’t know.’  Then he turned and walked away.

Suave: “Well?  That sucks for him.”

Suave then talks about PCW Champion Daniel-San’s recent appearance in Phoenix Wrestling as part of the CWC Ascension Tournament…

REPLAY: Daniel-San vs. Graham Clausen vs. James Stall

(courtesy of Phoenix Wrestling)

[[Stall grabs onto Daniel-san and throws him out of the ring, before going back to Clauson, who is up to his feet. A boot to the gut backs Clauson into a corner, where Stall starts to unload with some punches to the face, followed by boots to the gut, stomping a mud-hole into Clauson's chest. Clauson gets whipped across the ring, and Stall charges right after, but runs into a pair of raised boots. Stall stumbles away as Clauson gets onto the second turnbuckle, then dives onto Stall to hit a beautiful DDT!]]
Clauson gets up, all fired up after the big move. But here comes Kris Keebler to a series of boos, who’s holding a chair. He gets up onto the apron, but Clauson hits a superkick, knocking him down! But here’s Daniel-san with a roll-up!
1
.
.
Daniel-san hooks the tights!
.
2
.
.
3!!!
Winner, via pinfall on Graham Clauson, Daniel-san.

Suave notes that, of course, Daniel-San snuck in and took the pin from James Stall after Stall had done all the work.

MATCH #2
Arizona Rough Justice
: D.B. Ruff and Connor Justice (R) w/Sheriff Joe Arpaio
vs.
Occupy Wall Street: Nate and Shane (D) w/Adam


[Ruff knocks Shane into the referee.  Then Justice in the ring and sends  Shane to the turnbuckle while Ruff follows with a splash.  Sheriff Arpaio opens up a chair and puts it in the ring...Nate thrown into the ropes...Drop Toe Hold onto the open chair!  Adam protests but can't stop Ruff's frog splash on Nate.   Justice has the taser...*ZZZZZZAP*  Nate drops and the referee makes the count. ...1 ...2 ...3 ]

WINNER: Arizona Rough Justice @ 6:10

And then it was time for the Minnesota Mayhem match…

MAIN EVENT:
Minnesota Mayhem Match
K-Roy (R) w/Newt Gingrich (R-GA)
Magnum PO’d (R) w/Robbyn Masters and Ron Paul (R-TX)
Yamamoto Tanaka (R) w/’The Massachusetts Redblood’ Mitt Romney (R-MA)


Rick Santorum came out next.  Romney got on the mic and wanted to know where his wrestler was.  Then…

*Avenida Revolucion by Chickenfoot plays*

Suave: “What the…are they back?”


A. Tom Bomb (R) w/Daisy Cutter-Bomb

The crowd roared at the return of A. Tom Bomb to PCW.

Suave: “HOLY CRAP!”

[...A-Bomb and Magnum PO'd still maintain control over Tanaka, hammering on his ribs at every opportunity.  A-Bomb grinds his knee into Tanaka's back at the ten minute mark. Daisy teases a run-in as the crowd goes wild.  Double vertical Suplex on Tanaka.  But when they try to get him out of the ring, Tanaka stops them.  Finally...]

Suave: “Wait a minute…not him, too.”

That’s right, it’s NEWT TRON BOMB (R).  Suave frantically tries to find his gas mask as N-Bomb slides into the ring and sticks his ass in Tanaka’s face.  Then…

Suave: “SILENT BUT DEADLY!  SILENT BUT DEADLY!  OH MY…THAT STINKS!”

Tanaka out.  Both A-Bomb and Magnum cover…1…2…3.

Suave: “TANAKA’S OUT!”

Mitt Romney slams his fists on the ring and watches A-Bomb rolls Tanaka out of the ring.  Then A-Bomb turns to Magnum and rocks him with right hand.  He lifts Magnum up-…ATOMIC POWERBOMB!  A-Bomb covers…1…2…3.]

Santorum bounces into the ring and holds up A-Bomb’s arm.

WINNER: A. Tom Bomb @ 8:25

Suave: “Santorum gets the big win here tonight!  That’s all for PCW Minnesota Mayhem.  We’ll see you on Thursday night for PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN!”

No comments: