Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Less Than 3 Weeks to Go Before Jesusland v. Progressiveville: 11/28-PCW Extreme Political TV Recap

PCW Extreme Political TV Recap
McLeod Center
Cedar Rapids, IA
Monday November 28th, 2011
Host: Johnny Suave


Suave announced the Road to the Jesusland vs. Progressiveville PPV began tonight.

Merchants of Death: Angel Scott and Angel Casey (R) defeated Kelly Korver and Peta from PETA (D).  Peta was a last minute replacement for Korey Korver, Kelly’s sister and co-holder of the PCW Women’s Tag Team title belts.   Korey was injured at a recent PCW House Show and thus the match was not for the PCW Women’s Tag Team Titles.

This turned into a handicap match when Peta kept jawing with everyone at ringside about their food choices and kept walking away from the corner.  Post match, the MoD said they wanted both Korvers in the ring at Jesusland vs. Progressville for the women’s tag team belts.



Another promo for the upcoming book by Mr. A. Nominous, Jesusland vs. Progressiveville aired.
Next, a replay aired of PCW Women’s Champion Valora Salina’s (I) attack on The Skanky Rich Bimbos: Kim and Kourtney, valets of PCW Men’s Champion ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D).

Chism w/the SRB ringside defeated Josh Jackson (R) w/Herman Cain to retain the PCW Men’s Title.  Chism hit the Hollywood Blockbuster for the pin.

Post match, Chism challenged PCW Champion Daniel-San (I) for a title shot at Jesusland vs. Progressiveville.  Then Women’s Champion Valora Salinas came out and destroyed Kim and Kourtney for the second straight week.  Valora also laid claim to a PCW title shot which set Chism off in a laughing fit.  One well placed kick to the balls followed by the Katahajime later, Chism was laid out in the ring.
Suave lays out the upcoming January schedule and the start of the 2012 race for PCW CEO.

January 3rd- PCW Drama in Des Moines (IA)
January 10th- PCW Manchester Madness (NH)
January 21th- PCW South Carolina Slaughter
January 31th- PCW Tussle in Tallahassee
Also…
March 6th- PCW Super Tuesday Spectacular

Magnum P.O.’d (R), backed by Newt Gingrich (R-GA), won a “gauntlet” match to become the new #1 contender for the PCW title.  Participants included Republicans ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott, Texas Jack, and Jack Schmidt, Democrats O’Beck Bahama, James the Jeep Worker, and Axel Rodd, and Independents Charlie Blackwell, Ken Worth-The American Trucker, and Average Joe.   It appeared that Scott, backed by ‘The Massachusetts Redblood’ Mitt Romney (R-MA) would win, having Magnum pinned until Magnum’s valet, Robyn Masters entered the ring in her street clothes.  One shot of pepper spray later, Magnum won the match and the #1 contendership.

Masters gets on the mic and says while Romney embodied the Republican’s past, Newt Gingrich is THE future.  She adds that Magnum P.O.’d is going to Jesusland vs. Progressiveville in less than three weeks as the #1 contender for the PCW title.  She says Magnum will defeat Daniel-San at J vs. P and is interrupted by Valora Salinas.

Valora clocks Magnum with a steel chair and chokes out Masters as the show’s final shot is Gingrich watching it all in horror from the outside.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Kourtney and Kim Take…a Beating: PCW Big Ass Super Spectacular – Hour 2

PCW B.A.S.S.- Hour 2
Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon
Wauseon, OH
Monday November 21st
Host: Johnny Suave


PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein talks with this year’s NASCAR Champion Tony Stewart.  Stewart describes the way he came from behind to catch Carl Edwards at the last race of the year.



The Green World Order: ‘Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee, GreenPete, PeaceNick, and Peta from PETA walk out to protest Stewart, calling NASCAR fans a bunch of inbred redneck hicks.  This gets Stewart’s hackles up and he turns to the back and calls for help. Two long-time PCW veterans answer the call.

Suave: “IT’S THE RAVING REDNECKS LOCKE AND LOADE!

Gary Locke and Earl Loade come to the ring and attack the GWO.  PeaceNick protests the violence in the ring.  Peta screeches at everyone.

MATCH #3
‘The Raving Rednecks’ Locke and Loade (R) w/Tony Stewart
vs.
‘Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee and GreenPete of the Green World Order (D) w/PeaceNick and Peta from PETA

…Stewart ‘smokes’…get it…nickname…never mind…Stewart smokes Lee with a chairshot and then Locke and Loade hit the Redneck 4-G Death Blast for the win.

WINNER: ‘The Raving Rednecks’ Locke and Loade @ 2:15

COMMERCIAL BREAK

-an ad comes on for the upcoming E show ‘Kourtney and Kim Take New York.’



Kim and Kourtney, two thirds of the Skanky Rich Bimbos- valets of PCW Men’s Champion ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D), them come out to plug their show.  Kim describes her and Kourtney as the ‘alpha-females of PCW.  Not even two more words afterwards, the crowd roars when..



…PCW Women’s Champion ‘The Queen of Extreme’ Valora Salinas (I) comes out and wipes them out.  She takes the mink stole that Kourtney wore and chokes her with it.  Then she border tosses Kim out of the ring.  Valora spits on both Kourtney and Kim and leaves the ring.

Coming next month: PCW Jesusland vs. Progressiveville PPV.  Brought to you by the upcoming novel Jesusland vs. Progressiveville.




The year is 2017.  In a world where harsh divisions and economic strife have pulled the United States apart, Stacey Martin, Kate Wilson, and the Washington Freedom Force find themselves on the front line protecting the, now, free city of Washington D.C. and the American Reconciliation Summit- an attempt to reunite the fifty states into one country once again.

But when a multi-national mega-corporation with another agenda in mind attempts to disrupt the reconciliation talks, Stacey and Kate face their biggest challenge to date.  With the future of a possible reconstituted United States in the balance, can Stacey and Kate stop the forces against reconciliation from undermining the summit?  Or will the corporation make sure the talks suffer a cataclysmic, catastrophic failure of nuclear proportions.

Written by the irrepressible, onerous, and uber-mysterious Mr. A. Nominous, Jesusland vs. Progressiveville is a roller coaster ride of a political satire lampooning the sorry state of today’s American politics.

MATCH #4
PCW MEN’S TITLE MATCH
(c) ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D) w/Skanky Rich Bimbo Khloe
vs.
Magnum P.O.’d (R) w/Newt Gingrich (R-GA) and Robyn Masters



Chism, already agitated over the attack on Kim and Kourtney, becomes even more upset when Magnum comes out with Masters and then Gingrich.  He calls for a microphone and tells Magnum he’s not wrestling him tonight.  Chism says he’s not prepared for Magnum and would rather get his hands on Valora Salinas for taking out two thirds of his Skanky Rich Bimbos.  But he knows that it’ll never happen because men are physically superior to women…*WHAM*


Suave: “HOLY CRAP!”

Chism down and holding his head.  PCW Women’s Champion Valora Salinas stands over him with a 2×4 and yells at him to get up.  Chism tries to pull himself up with the ropes and Valora clocks him a second time with the 2×4 and sends him spinning to the mat.

Khloe jumps on her back and tries to choke her out.  Valora drops down and sends her flying over her head.  Then she slaps on the Tazzmission and chokes Khloe out.  Chism tries to crawl over to help but can’t get there soon enough before she’s unconscious.

WINNER: No match

COMMERCIAL BREAK

PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein talks with PCW CEO Barack Obama’s Aide de Camp Joe Biden (D-DE).  Biden blames the Republican’s unwillingness to compromise for the breakdown of the ‘Super Committee.’   He launches into a tirade against the Tea Party and extremists when two police officers come up behind him.

One officer tells Biden he has a warrant for his arrest.  Biden looks at him like he’s nuts.   Then the officer explains…

“More than one-third of U.S. states allow borrowers who can’t or won’t pay to be jailed. Nationwide statistics aren’t known because many courts don’t keep track of warrants by alleged offense, but a tally by The Wall Street Journal earlier this year of court filings in nine counties across the U.S. showed that judges signed off on more than 5,000 such warrants since the start of 2010.”

The officer explains that the United States is now nearly 16 trillion dollars in debt and…someone has to pay for it.

Biden: “…oh.”

As the officers lead Biden away, we go to the ring for the final match of the night.

MAIN EVENT- PCW TITLE MATCH
(c) Daniel-San (I) w/Mrs. Miyagi
vs.
‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott (R)


Again, Women for Women: Code Pink and Emily List (D) interrupt the ring introductions.  Pink demands to know why the PCW Women’s title isn’t being defended when there are perfectly good Democratic challengers for it?  List blames the Republicans on the PCW Competition Committee for holding back women.

Suave: “Really?  There’s no Republican women wrestlers?”

The referee tires of the interruption and calls for the bell.  Pink and List scramble to get out of the ring as Daniel-San and Scott lock up in the middle of the ring.

…Scott goes for the American Stars and Fuji Armbar.  Daniel-San grabs on to the ropes.  After the break, Daniel-San sends Scott to the corner.  A bulldog and a cover for 1….2….NO!  Daniel-San with a body slam!  He’s goes up top!  Scott rolls out of range.  Daniel-San goes for a missile drop kick and Scott nails him with his own standing dropkick! Scott rolls him up and locks the leg!  1…2…NO!  Scott drops the elbow!  Pin for 1…2…NO!

Scott sets up for the American Stars and Fujiarwa Arm Bar!  No, Daniel-San with a reverse suplex into a pin for 1…2…NOOOO!  Scott jumps up and is about to lock in the Dragon Sleeper.  Daniel-San reverses it into a light powerbomb.  Scott down!  CATTLE MUTILATION!  CATTLE MUTILATION!  SCOTT TAPS!

WINNER AND STILL PCW CHAMPION: Daniel-San (I) @ 11:50

Post match, Women for Women attack Mrs. Miyagi outside the ring.  Daniel-San goes down to help but gets pushed out of the way by PCW Women’s Champion Valora Salinas.  Valora hits twin Bulldogs on Code Pink and Emily List and stomps away at them before security comes in and tries to pull her off as the show ends.

PCW off until next Monday and the road to the Jesusland vs. Progressiveville PPV begins in earnest.

http://politicalwrestling.files.wordpress.com/2011/08/cwc-pcw-logo.jpg?w=468

Super Committee Can't Come to Agreement = PCW Big Ass Super Spectacular- Hour 1

PCW B.A.S.S.
Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon
Wauseon, OH
Monday November 21st
Host: Johnny Suave


Suave comes out to explain why PCW didn’t air last week.  It was because the Super Committee, consisting of members of the PCW Executive and Competition Committees, couldn’t come to an agreement on how the show should go.   So this week, the booking plans already agreed to earlier will take effect.  What does that mean?

Suave announces tonight will be PCW Night of Champions at the Big Ass Super Spectacular!  Brought to you by the upcoming novel Jesusland vs. Progressiveville.




The year is 2017.  In a world where harsh divisions and economic strife have pulled the United States apart, Stacey Martin, Kate Wilson, and the Washington Freedom Force find themselves on the front line protecting the, now, free city of Washington D.C. and the American Reconciliation Summit- an attempt to reunite the fifty states into one country once again.

But when a multi-national mega-corporation with another agenda in mind attempts to disrupt the reconciliation talks, Stacey and Kate face their biggest challenge to date.  With the future of a possible reconstituted United States in the balance, can Stacey and Kate stop the forces against reconciliation from undermining the summit?  Or will the corporation make sure the talks suffer a cataclysmic, catastrophic failure of nuclear proportions.

Written by the irrepressible, onerous, and uber-mysterious Mr. A. Nominous, Jesusland vs. Progressiveville is a roller coaster ride of a political satire lampooning the sorry state of today’s American politics.

MATCH #1
PCW WOMEN’S TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH:
(c) The Korver Sisters: Kelly and Korey (D)
vs.

The Mercenaries: Dawn McGill and Svetlana Kovalevski (I)

The crowd explodes when McGill and Kovalevski walk out to take on the Korvers.  But then Women for Women: Code Pink and Emily List (D) also arrive on the scene.  Code Pink demands to know why the women’s tag team title match is opening the show?  List says why can’t it be further up the card?
Both women sit down in the ring and say that they aren’t leaving until they get a satisfactory explanation.  Not wanting to wait, McGill and Kovalevski drag both Pink and List by the hair and throw them out of the ring.  The Korvers then pounce and the match is on.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

…Code Pink and Emily List again back in the ring to assist the Korvers.  But they get caught by McGill and Kovalevski who hit stereo DDT’s.  Again, the Korvers take advantage and McGill is sent out of the ring.   Kovalevski turns and tries to hit the Russian Sickle.  Kelly Korver counters with the Korver Krusher and gets the pinfall.

WINNER AND STILL PCW WOMEN’S TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: The Korver Sisters @ 18:22

The Korvers celebrate until they get blindsided by the former PCW Women’s Tag Team Champions Merchants of Death: Angel Scott and Angel Casey (R).  Scott and Casey, who have issues with the Champions dating back to September’s Lock and Load PPV, gleefully inflict Death Spiral Drop on both Korvers.  Code Pink climbs back up to the top turnbuckle and springboards RIGHT INTO THE DEATH SPIRAL DROP!

Crowd: “PCW!…PCW!…PCW!…”

Suave says it not over yet between the MoD, The Mercenaries, and the Korvers.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

Earlier in the day, Democrats pinned the failure of the 12-member Select Joint Committee on Deficit Reduction on the GOP’s subservience to Grover…



No, not that Grover.



No, not Grover Cleveland.


Suave: “Grover Norquist?  Really?”

‘The Massachusetts Blueblood’ John F’n Kerry (D-MA) blamed ‘Norquist and his powerful organization’ for the Super Committee’s inability to reach an accord on future PCW booking.
Suave: “Seriously?  Grover Norquist?”

Leader of the PCW Executive Committee, Harry Reid (D-NV), had this to say: ““I am disappointed that Republicans never found the courage to ignore Tea Party extremists and millionaire lobbyists like Grover Norquist, and listen instead to the overwhelming majority of PCW fans — including the vast majority of Republicans — who want a balanced approach.”

Grover Norquist, (R-Americans for Tax Reform) pushed back against the claim that he was pulling the Republicans strings.

Norquist: “Republicans] didn’t promise me anything.  They wouldn’t have to worry about me, they’d have to worry about the PCW fans.”  He then added, “Besides, it’s not like there’s someone pulling the strings for the Democrats…”


Richard Trumka (D-AFL-CIO)


MATCH #2
PCW TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH
(c) Jack and Joe Schmidt (R) w/Ron Paul (R-TX)

vs.
“The Self Proclaimed Savior of the Middle Class” Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker (D) w/Richard Trumka


Paul and Trumka exchange heated words as the bell rings.  Then Michael Moore, the token 1% of the OccupyWallStreet’s 99…er…67…45…8% ,leads the OWS: Adam, Nate, and Shane to the ring.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
…again, the forces of Big Union are ringside and brawling with Corporate Might: Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit- The Wall Street Market Analyst with the Man Crush on ESPN’s Kirk Herbstreit (R),  and Paul Ryan’s Raiders: Nick Ray and Kevin Collins (R).

In the ring, Jack Schmidt goes back to the armbar on Big Labor.  Never allowing the big guy to get started, goes for the Schmidt Brick and leads to a counters sequence with Big Labor.  Schmidt’s brick gets broke and can’t get the Schmidt Brick afterwards.  Jack makes the best of the situation by kicking Trumka off the ring apron for starters.  He tags in Joe and the other Schmidt runs right into a bear hug by Big Labor who then spikes him with a Scabbuster.  Big Labor covers…James the Jeep Worker holds Jack’s leg for dear life.  1…2…3!

WINNER AND NEW PCW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: ‘The Self-Proclaimed Savior of the Middle Class’ Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker (D) @ 15:04

Trumka and the rest of Big Union celebrate in the ring until…

*”Can You Hear the People Sing?” from the Musical Les Miserables plays.*

…the arrival of Charlie Blackwell (American Heartland Coalition) and his Les Miserables.  Security stops them before they can reach the ring and Trumka tells Blackwell that he can’t ruin this night for working men and women across the USA.

BACKSTAGE
PCW CEO Barack Obama (D-IL) talks with PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein about Michelle Obama’s reception yesterday at a NASCAR event.

Obama says he couldn’t believe that the fans booed his wife and Jill Biden after ‘all that he’s done for them.’
Obama: “I mean, I actually had country and western singers at PCW Headquarters last night…

Replay:
CEO Obama stands on the stage with Lauren Alaina, The Band Perry, Dierks Bentley, Alison Krauss, Kris Kristofferson, Lyle Lovett, Mickey and James Taylor.

“Tonight we are transforming the East Room into a bona fide country music hall,” he said, thanking the attendees for giving him “the best welcome home party that I’ve had in a long time.

Suave: “Okay, Alison Krauss, Kristofferson, and Lyle Lovett withstanding, the rest of that group doesn’t exactly shout out ‘country music.’  More like warmed over pop-crap.  Back with hour 2.”

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Blackwell Stands Up to Big Union: 11/10 PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN- Hour 2


PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN- Hour 2
PCW Hall
Archbold, OH
Thursday November 10th, 2011
Host: Johnny Suave


Suave recaps the first hour:

- Big Union celebrates the defeat of SB 5 by destroying two non-union PCW Hall workers

- The Longshoremen, Big Labor, and James the Jeep Worker (D) w/the California Teacher’s Union, The OWS, and the Maximum Leader of all Unions Richard Trumka defeats Charlie Blackwell, Mike the Mechanic, and ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido (American Heartland Coalition) w/Kenzie Blackwell, Sheila the Secretary, and Blackwell’s Les Miserables

-Corporate Might: Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit (R) along with their new CEO Gordan Guyko watch the attack on the American Heartland and do nothing

-Women for Women: Code Pink and Emily List (D) and PCW Women’s Tag Team Champions Kelly and Korey Korver (D) defeat Merchants of Death: Angel Scott and Angel Casey (R) in a handicap match ordered by PCW CEO Barack Obama (D-IL)

Suave mentions that tonight’s main event will be an over the top bunkhouse match taped last night just up the road at Oakland University between Texas Jack (R) w/Rick Perry (R-TX), Magnum P.O.’d (R) w/Newt Gingrich (R-GA), ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott (R) w/Mitt Romney (R-MA), Average Joe (Tea Party) w/Michele Bachmann (R-MN), Jamie Walker (R) w/Jon Huntsman (R-UT), and ‘Pizza Delivery Guy’ Josh Jackson (R) w/Herman Cain (R-GA).

He then introduces the upcoming novel Jesusland vs. Progressiveville.




The year is 2017.  In a world where harsh divisions and economic strife have pulled the United States apart, Stacey Martin, Kate Wilson, and the Washington Freedom Force find themselves on the front line protecting the, now, free city of Washington D.C. and the American Reconciliation Summit- an attempt to reunite the fifty states into one country once again.

But when a multi-national mega-corporation with another agenda in mind attempts to disrupt the reconciliation talks, Stacey and Kate face their biggest challenge to date.  With the future of a possible reconstituted United States in the balance, can Stacey and Kate stop the forces against reconciliation from undermining the summit?  Or will the corporation make sure the talks suffer a cataclysmic, catastrophic failure of nuclear proportions.

Written by the irrepressible, onerous, and uber-mysterious Mr. A. Nominous, Jesusland vs. Progressiveville is a roller coaster ride of a political satire lampooning the sorry state of today’s American politics.

Suave mentions that the connection with PCW’s upcoming Paper View show- PCW Jesusland vs. Progressiveville and that PCW personalities ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin and Rah are featured in the book.  More on J v. P in the coming weeks.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

MATCH #3
‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin (R) vs. Samantha Stevenson (I)

…a LOT of stalling.  Stevenson obviously went to the Larry Zbyzsko school of how to stretch out the start of the match.   Martin took control after Stevenson took another walkabout for a nine count, returned to the ring, tried to exit again, and ate a Pizza Cutter for her trouble.

WINNER: Tessa Martin @ 7:55

Post match, the lights turn off and a small spotlight illuminates the door.  A man dressed in a suit and bow-tie walks in.

Announcer: “I present to you the almost universally-worshipped king of the gods and all-father of creation.  He commands the chariot that rode across the sky during the day.   He is the great, fiery globe in the sky who is usually a welcome, nurturing presence and to honor the season.  He is the inspiration for those who would throw virgins into the gaping maw of a volcano – perhaps an Icelandic volcano – even though such shenanigans haven’t been acceptable since the ’50s.  And just for your reference, he is, for 28 years in a row, proven to be one of UC San Diego’s most enduring traditions in the Sun God festival- an all-day music festival celebrated by more than 20,000 students, alumni and friends.  But that’s not important.  Either way, you should thank your lucky stars and kiss his royal ass for gracing you with his presence here tonight.  I give to you…the Sunshine God…RAAAAAAAAH!

Ten bikini-clad, and tanned, females enter the room with two men carrying a golden sedan chair holding a man dressed in long flowing robes.  Rah’s minions Bob Nye- Foot Fetish Guy, children’s show host Happy Mango, and former Delaware Senatorial candidate Christine O’Donnell follow him in.  Rah climbs out of his golden sedan chair and stands surrounded by his bikini girls, two golden sedan chair carrying guys, McDonnell, Nye, and Happy Mango.

Rah goes up to Martin and takes her arm and raises it in the air.

Suave again notes that we’ll be hearing more about the book Jesusland vs. Progressiveville in the upcoming weeks.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

PCW CEO Barack Obama is in the ring to once again go around the PCW Competition to make a match when he’s interrupted.

‘The Demolition Machine in a Short Skirt’ Dawn McGill (I) drags Penn State assistant coach Mike McQueary to the ring.  Obama objects to being interrupted.  McGill tells him that she’s a veteran and tomorrow is Veteran’s Day so ‘piss off.’

MATCH #4
Dawn McGill (I) vs. Penn State Assistant Mike McQueary

…despite McQueary’s plea for mercy, McGill locks in the Katahajime and doesn’t let go.
Soccer Mom (D) comes out with a loaded purse to confront McQueary.  She yells ‘It’s for the children!’ and then whaps McGill in what appears to be a deliberate attack.  McGill throws McQueary down and grabs Soccer Mom by the throat.  Fireman’s carry into a Jackhammer Slam.  McGill grabs Soccer Mom’s purse and blasts her with it.  Then she covers McQueary.

WINNER: Dawn McGill @ 2:57

BACKSTAGE
PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein talks with a bandaged up Charlie Blackwell (I). 
Bernstein lets Blackwell vent…and does Blackwell vent.

Blackwell: “Here’s the bottom line, Big Labor Unions don’t give a crap about middle class values. What they care about is retaining their political power. Why else would unions from all over the country spend $30 million dollars in Ohio over SB 5? You can yak all you want about the evils of big corporations throwing their weight and money around to get their way; but you’re a bleeping hypocrite if you don’t recognize that big labor unions do the exact…same…thing.

Big corporations. Big Unions. No difference.

This entire week has been a stunning display of institutional arrogance from Penn State to big corporations and big unions facing off in Ohio over SB 5. When people are more concerned about protecting the entity versus doing the right thing and protecting people with no power from grade school kids from a sexual predator to disenfranchised citizens who have no representation in their own government thanks to big unions and big corporations money, it says everything with what’s wrong not only with our society but with our country.

Big unions don’t care about the fact that people continue to lose their homes at a staggering rate. Big unions don’t care about middle America drowning symptomatically as the cost of living rises. If they did care, they would have made the Democrats pay dearly for President Clinton signing off on NAFTA and starting the chain reaction towards the two Americas and the slow destruction of middle America we have today.
I mean, we already know where big corporations stand. Sweetheart deals that leave them paying little or no taxes. Anyone remember the AIG jerks who after we bailed big banks out (and we shouldn’t have), went on the 200K retreat? But big unions claim they are for the workers, middle class America. That could not be further from the truth.

Money. Power. Entitlement. It’s not just a big corporation value anymore.”
 
COMMERCIAL BREAK

BACKSTAGE
The forces of Big Union are furious.  ‘The Self-Proclaimed Savior of the Middle Class’ Big Labor, James the Jeep Worker, The Longshoremen, Union Maid, The California Teacher’s Union (D), and the Maximum Leader of All Unions Richard Trumka comb the backstage area for Charlie Blackwell.

MAIN EVENT- Over the top Bunkhouse Match/Taped Last Night at Oakland University
Texas Jack (R) w/Rick Perry (R-TX), Magnum P.O.’d (R) w/Newt Gingrich (R-GA), ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott (R) w/Mitt Romney (R-MA), Average Joe (Tea Party) w/Michele Bachmann (R-MN), Jamie Walker (R) w/Jon Huntsman (R-UT), and ‘Pizza Delivery Guy’ Josh Jackson (R) w/Herman Cain (R-GA).

Average Joe and Jamie Walker exit early.

Jackson is nearly eliminated several times.  Texas Jack tries to flip Jackson over the top rope and asks for help from Rick Perry.  Perry comes over with a trash can lid and climbs to the top rope.  He comes down and clocks Texas Jack by mistake.  Jackson back body drops Texas Jack over the top rope and he’s gone.
Suave can’t believe the mistake Perry just made.  “Inexcusable vaporlock at the exact wrong time!”
Even Jackson’s surprised.  Then Magnum P.O.’d clotheslines him over the top rope.  Down to Magnum vs.  Kevin Scott.

Magnum came close to winning a few times, but in the end it was Kevin Scott’s American Stars and Fujiwara Arm Bar followed by a toss over the top rope that won the match.

WINNER: ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott @ 18:24

BACKSTAGE
Big Union has Charlie Blackwell cornered.  Then, American Heartlanders Mike the Mechanic, ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido, Tea Partiers Average Joe, NRA, and ‘Tin Cup’ Ray McAvay, and the PCW Champion Daniel-San (I) attack Big Union from behind.

Then the forces of Corporate Might: Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit- the Wall Street Market Analyst with the Man Crush on ESPN’s Kirk Herbstreit, led by CEO Gordan Guyko attack Blackwell as well as the show ends…

Friday, November 11, 2011

Big Union Parties After SB 5 Defeat: PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN- hour 1



PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN- Hour 1
PCW Hall
Archbold, OH
Thursday November 10th, 2011
Host: Johnny Suave


*Ten Bell Salute in Memory of the late former Heavyweight Champion ‘Smokin’ Joe Frazier*
Crowd: “PCW!…PCW!…PCW!…”

Political Championship Wrestling returns to the hallowed PCW Hall and the forces of Big Union are all in the ring.   Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker (D), The Longshoremen (D), The California Teacher’s Union: ‘Foul Pole’ Andy Golatta and Malibu Dusty (D), The OWS: Shane, Nate, and Adam (D), and Union Maid (D) along with the King of Unions Richard Trumka (D) and several Democrats gloat over the defeat of Ohio‘s Senate Bill 5 this past Tuesday.

Trumka says the results prove that big unions are the true champions of the middle class and no one can say otherwise- not even faux middle class wannabe Charlie Blackwell (I).  Trumka says the way to go is union and to illustrate his point, he calls one of the non-union drink vendors into the ring.  Reluctantly, the vendor climbs in.

Trumka wants the world to see why working non-union is such a bad idea.  The Longshoremen deck the poor vendor from behind.  The rest of the big union forces start kicking the crap out of him and then toss him from the ring.  Trumka then has Golatta go to the front and drag the non-union ticket taker from the door to the ring.  Again, the Longshoremen attack and the others beat him up and throw him from the ring.
Suave goes berserk and gets Trumka’s attention.  He directs the Longshoremen to bring Suave into the ring.  They do and Trumka slaps Suave for questioning big union’s tactics.  Golatta gets ready to give Suave a ‘Foul Pole’ shot and then…

*”Can You Hear the People Sing?” from the musical Les Miserables plays*

Down runs Charlie Blackwell and Mike the Mechanic of the American Heartland Coalition with Kenzie Blackwell, Sheila the Secretary, “No Frills” Chris Escondido and Blackwell’s Les Miserables. Blackwell hits the scorpion death drop on Big Labor and then gets swallowed up by the Big Union forces.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

MATCH #1
The Longshoremen, Big Labor, and James the Jeep Worker (D) w/the California Teacher’s Union, The OWS, and the King of all Unions Richard Trumka
vs.
Charlie Blackwell, Mike the Mechanic, and ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido (American Heartland Coalition) w/Kenzie Blackwell, Sheila the Secretary, and Blackwell’s Les Miserables

Suave: “A four on three match?”
…body scissors by Big Labor on Blackwell.  Blackwell escapes and tries to tag Escondido in.  Longshoreman Pete stops the tag and Big Labor tags in Longshoreman Russell.  To the big union corner they go, back elbow by Russell.  Stomp to the knees by Big Labor.  Stomp to the knees by James the Jeep Worker.
The crowd roars when someone runs down to the ring to join Blackwell’s team.

Suave: “IT’S THE PCW CHAMPION!  DANIEL-SAN IS IN THE RING!”

Daniel-San hits a whisper in the wind.  Daniel-San goes low and takes down both Longshoremen with kicks to the groin.  He lands an elbow shot on King Trumka and lays out both Longshoremen again.  Corner splash to Big Labor.  Big boot to James the Jeep Worker. Swinging neckbreaker by Daniel-San to OWS Nate.   Daniel-San up top, SWANTON.  Golatta and Malibu Dusty in, belly to belly to OWS Adam…

COMMERCIAL BREAK

…James the Jeep Worker up top,   Mike the Mechanic crotches him and Daniel-San nails Longshoreman Russell.  Mike up top…top rope fist drop.  He covers for 2.

Trumka, enraged, gets on the microphone and demands that the Democrats come out and take care of this ‘minor problem’ if they know what’s good for them.  Axel Rodd (D), The Bureaucrats: Jordan Metzger and Andy Riley (D),  among others heed the call and again Blackwell’s side is overwhelmed by the number’s game.

Russell clocks Mike the Mechanic from behind with a flapjack.  Longshoreman Russell makes the cover for the pin.
WINNER: The Longshoremen, Big Labor, and James the Jeep Worker (D) @ 18:15
Post match, big union continues the beatdown of Blackwell and company.
BACKSTAGE
Corporate Might: Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit (R)
along with their new CEO Gordan Guyko confer.  They watch the big union assault on the American Heartland with whimsy.  Walstreit wonders if they should go out and help.  Big Oil and Guyko ignore Walstreit and continue to talk among themselves.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

From Monday’s PCW Extreme Political TV: Merchants of Death: Angel Scott and Angel Casey (R) vs. The Mercenaries: Dawn McGill and Svetlana Kovalevski (I)
Scott and Casey have McGill up and ready for the DSD (Death Spiral Drop).  Women for Women: Code Pink and Emily List hit the ring and Pink fires off a Glitter Bomb that hits Scott in the eyes.  Scott and Casey are then attacked by the PCW Women’s Tag Team Champions Kelly and Korey Korver (D) and now it’s four against two.  McGill and Kovalevski then even the odds and the show ends with all eight women in the ring and PCW CEO Barack Obama (D-IL) coming to ringside.
Obama, once again going around the PCW Competition Committee, books a handicap match for Republicans Merchants of Death: Angel Scott and Angel Casey against Democrats Women for Women and the Korver Sisters for Thursday night.


PCW CEO Barack Obama (D-IL) comes on the big screen and makes it clear that if the Mercenaries (Independents Dawn McGill and Svetlana Kovalevski) interfere in the match they will be suspended indefinitely.   Obama intends to make a point tonight.

MATCH #2
Women for Women: Code Pink and Emily List (D) and PCW Women’s Tag Team Champions Kelly and Korey Korver (D) vs. Merchants of Death: Angel Scott and Angel Casey (R)


The MoD come in with an extremely foul disposition and Pink and List find themselves outside the ring within the first minute of the match.  The Korvers then take over from there.

…corner shots by Korey and Kelly on Angel Casey.  Casey tries to fight her way out.  Kelly tries to restrain her.  Casey bites her and then runs across the ring.  Emily List back in and hits a backdrop.  Code Pink in now, lays the boots to Casey.  Angel Scott comes in but she gets back elbowed by Kelly Korver.  Then Code Pink talks trash to Scott.  Scott slaps Pink and fights back.  Korey Korver whips her to the corner and the Korvers double team.

Code Pink gives Angel Casey a glitter bomb to the eyes.  That allows the Korvers to hit the Korver Krusher for the win.

WINNER: Women for Women and the Korver Sisters @ 11:02

Monday, November 07, 2011

New Cain Blockbuster: PCW Extreme Political TV Recap

PCW Extreme Political TV Recap
JQH Arena
Springfield, MO
Monday November 7th, 2011
Host: Johnny Suave


Right to the ring where Herman Cain (R-GA) stands with a mic.  With ‘Pizza Delivery Guy’ Josh Jackson (R) by his side, Cain declares that he has survived the trial by innuendo and prevailed over the forces who want to derail his PCW CEO campaign.

Cain is about to leave when another woman comes out and she’s flanked by Gloria Allred.   She introduces herself as someone who Cain tried to trade sexual favors for a new job at the restaurant association he headed.   As Cain and Jackson watched, she implored Cain to ‘admit what you did’ and ‘make this right so PCW can move forward and focus on the real issues at hand.’

With the crowd still buzzing about the latest allegation against Herman Cain, the cameras go backstage. 

Magnum P.O.’d (R) w/valet Robyn Masters and a grinning Newt Gingrich (R-GA), pounds Pizza Delivery Guy Josh Jackson in the hallway with Herman Cain nowhere to be found.   Magnum drags Jackson to the ring and we have our first match of the night.

Magnum P.O.’d defeats ‘Pizza Delivery Guy’ Josh Jackson @ 4:14

Big Union (Democrats ‘The Self Proclaimed Savior of the Middle Class’ Big Labor, James the Jeep Worker, The Longshoremen, and the California Teacher’s Union) are in Ohio in advance of the referendum on Senate Bill 5 tomorrow.  Big Labor says tomorrow is day 1 in reestablishing Big Union as the ultimate political force in PCW.  No one, not even those second tier pretenders led by Charlie Blackwell (Blackwell’s Les Miserables), will dispute that Big Union knows what’s best for middle class America- even if middle America disagrees.

PCW Tag Team Champions Jack and Joe Schmidt (R) w/Jim Schmidt and Ron Paul (R-TX) and the Extreme German Schnauzer Hans Gruber def. Corporate Might: Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit (R)- the Wall Street Market Analyst with the man crush on ESPN’s Kirk Herbstreit @ 10:37

After a commercial break, it’s time for the main event.

Merchants of Death: Angel Scott and Angel Casey (R) vs. The Mercenaries: Dawn McGill and Svetlana Kovalevski (I)

In a hard hitting, no holds barred fight, Scott and Casey have McGill up and ready for the DSD (Death Spiral Drop).  Women for Women: Code Pink and Emily List hit the ring and Pink fires off a Glitter Bomb that hits Scott in the eyes.  Scott and Casey are then attacked by the PCW Women’s Tag Team Champions Kelly and Korey Korver (D) and now it’s four against two.  McGill and Kovalevski then even the odds and the show ends with all eight women in the ring and PCW CEO Barack Obama (D-IL) coming to ringside.

Obama, once again going around the PCW Competition Committee, books a handicap match for Republicans Merchants of Death: Angel Scott and Angel Casey against Democrats Women for Women and the Korver Sisters for Thursday night.

Saturday, November 05, 2011

Obama Continues to Go Around PCW Competition Committee: PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN- Hour 2



PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN- Hour 2
Convocation Center
DeKalb, Illinois
Thursday November 3rd, 2011
Host: Johnny Suave


REPLAY FROM PCW EXTREME ELECTION NIGHT 2008
MAIN EVENT: PCW TITLE MATCH- conclusion
O’BECK BAHAMA w/Barack Obama (Progressive Alliance)
vs. STARZ N. STRIPES © w/John McCain (American Patriots)


Bahama rolls up Starz.


Suave: “ONE…TWO…NO! McCAIN BREAKS THE COUNT! McCAIN LITERALLY LEAPED ACROSS THE RING TO STOP THE REFEREE FROM COUNTING OUT STARZ!”

Bahama climbs up the corner turnbuckle. 450 Splash on Starz. Again, he covers.

Suave: “ONE…TWO…AGAIN! McCAIN AGAIN STOPS THE COUNT!”

McCain stumbles back to his corner. Bahama picks up Starz and power bombs him. Cover.


Suave: “ONE…TWO…NOOOOO! McCAIN AGAIN SAVES STARZ! UNBELIEVEABLE!”

Obama pounds on the ring canvas. Everyone is standing up in the building.

Suave: “THIS CROWD IS GOING NUTS! JOHN McCAIN HAS SAVED THREE PINFALLS! HOLD ON. BAHAMA WANTS A TABLE SET UP OUTSIDE THE RING.”

Obama quickly sets up a table. Bahama picks up Starz. He runs towards the ropes and heaves him over. Starz destroys the table.

Suave: “AWESOME BOMB! AWESOME BOMB! AWESOME BOMB! BAHAMA TO THE TOP ROPE. 45O SPLASH! HE COVERS. ONE…WAIT! WHAT’S DICK CHENEY DOING. HE RUNS INTO McCAIN…”

The bell rings.

Suave:“THAT WAS THE BELL? WAIT A MINUTE…CHARLENE ANN BECKWORTH IN THE RING.”

Charlene Ann: “LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! THE WINNER BY PINFALL AND NEW PCW-”
The deafening crowd drowned out the rest of what of Charlene Ann said.



Suave: “HE DID IT! HE DID IT! O’BECK BAHAMA IS THE NEW PCW CHAMPION!”


Crowd: “PCW…PCW…PCW…PCW!…”


Suave: “LET’S LOOK AT THIS FROM ANOTHER VIEW. HOLY CRAP! McCAIN WAS TRYING TO GET OVER TO STARZ BUT DICK ACCIDENTLY TRIPPED HIM UP. THERE’S THE THREE COUNT.”

WINNER: O’Beck Bahama @ 27:35

PCW Extreme Election Night 2012 is roughly one year away.  Will Daniel-San (I) still hold the title?   Who will the Republicans send up against PCW CEO Barack Obama?  The next year will determine all.

COMMERCIAL BREAK


Suave recaps hour one:
- Democrat Axel Rodd makes a successful debut in PCW but then gets attacked by the Huntsman girls.

- O’Beck Bahama (D) defeats long time rival The Right Reverend Randy Richardson (R) and then DDT’s another long time rival PCW Men’s Champion ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D).
Suave says PCW Extreme Election 2012 may be a year away but PCW Jesusland vs. Progressiveville is next month.

BACKSTAGE
PCW Men’s Champion ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D)
throws a royal fit in the back over getting DDT’d earlier by O’Beck Bahama.  Nancy Pelosi (D) tries to calm Chism down but the Men’s Champ tells her that Bahama should let bygones be bygones and do what’s right for the Democrats- and support Chism.

Back in the ring, PCW CEO Barack Obama again goes around the PCW Competition Committee and makes a Women’s title match between PCW Women’s Champion Valora Salinas (I) vs. Kathryn Randall Collins (D).  KRC is in the ring ready to roll.  Unlike last week when Obama tried to set a match between Women for Women against Salinas, the Women’s champion is in the building tonight and in a ‘foul’ mood when she comes to the ring.

MATCH #3- PCW Women’s Title Match
Valora Salinas (c) (I) vs. Kathryn Randall Collins (D)


…big elbow drop gets another two count for KRC and now the challenger is in full control of the match.  KRC stomps away at Valora in the corner.  Valora finally gets fed up now and goes to work on KRC.  She  lariats her in the corner and delivers a powerslam.  Valora goes for the Aztec Moonsault to finish KRC off…she hits it.  Women for Women: Code Pink and Emily List (D) run out to interfere.   Triple team on Valora and it looks bad but…

The Mercenaries: Dawn McGill and Svetlana Kovaleski (I) come to the rescue.  McGill and Kovaleski brawl with Pink and List.  Valora hits the Border Toss on KRC and then rolls her up and pins her.

WINNER AND STILL PCW WOMEN’S CHAMPION: Valora Salinas @ 11:02

Post match, actress Lindsay Lohan comes to the ring to take an ill-advised run at Valora.  Suave recaps the run-in Li-Lo had with the Women’s Champion after doing her community service last week.

Valora slaps a choke hold on Lohan and turns it into a rear naked choke.  It takes several security personnel to pull Valora off of her.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

Suave goes through the updated PCW Rankings…

PCW WORLD CHAMPION:  Daniel-San (I)
PCW MEN’S CHAMPION: ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D)
PCW WOMEN’S CHAMPION: Valora Salinas (I)
PCW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: Jack and Joe Schmidt (R-Libertarian)
PCW WOMEN’S TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS:The Korver Sisters: Kelly and Korey Korver (D)


SINGLES CONTENDERS:
#1- ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott (R)
#2- O’Beck Bahama (D)
#3- Charlie Blackwell (I)
#4- ‘Pizza Delivery Guy’ Josh Jackson (R)
#5- The Rev. Randy Richardson (R)

TAG TEAM CONTENDERS:
#1- California Teachers Union: ‘The Foul Pole’ Andy Golatta/Malibu Dusty (D)
#2- Corporate Might:  Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit (R)
#3- Big Labor/James the Jeep Worker (D)
#4- Charlie Blackwell/Mike the Mechanic (I)
#5- Paul Ryan’s Raiders: Nick Ray and Kevin Collins (R)

WOMEN’S CONTENDERS:
#1- Callie Urban (D)
#2- Kathryn Randall Collins (D)
#3- Sarah Mae Smith (R)
#4- Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen (R)
#5- Jackie Daniels (I)

PCW WOMEN’S TAG TEAM CONTENDERS:
#1- Merchants of Death: Angel Scott and Angel Casey (R)
#2- The Mercenaries: Dawn McGill and Svetlana Kovalevski (I)
#3- The Triple Threat: ‘Texas Cowgirl’ Haley Dallas and Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen (R)
#4- Women For Women: Code Pink and Emily List (D)
#5- The Pinups: Sabrina James and Alicia Rowe (I)

MATCH #4
‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott (R) w/Mitt Romney (R-MA) vs. Charlie Blackwell (I) w/’No Frills’ Chris Escondido


Scott still hanging on to the #1 contender spot.  Blackwell looking for the opportunity.

But before the match starts, PCW CEO Obama walks out again and unilaterally changes the match.  He tells Scott he’ll face ’The Self Described Savior of the Middle Class’ Big Labor (D) and not Charlie Blackwell with the #1 contender’s spot on the line.

Blackwell is furious but is escorted to the back as Big Labor and his big union entourage come to the ring.

…To the corner, Big Labor sets Scott up top.  Scott fights backs but Big Labor suplexes him  to the mat.  Big Labor goes back up top, he drops the elbow and goes for the pin  1…2..NO!  Andy Golatta of the California Teacher’s Union (D) climbs into the ring and sets for the ‘Foul Pole.’  He hits it and Scott falls to the mat.  Big Labor covers but…Kenzie Blackwell is out and has the referee’s attention.

Union Maid (D) goes over and confronts Kenzie.  Big Labor sets for the Scabbuster…Scott reverses into a perfectplex.  Scott covers but Big Labor counters and the ref has to dive out of the way.  Malibu Dusty, The Longshoremen, and James the Jeep Worker (D) charge the ring.  Scott to the floor on the exchange and out comes Blackwell and his Les Miserables.  Blackwell hands Scott the beer bottle with nasty intentions.  Big Labor, followed by the Big Union forces gets cracked in his noggin with the beer bottle.
Blackwell, Escondido, and the Les Miserables brawl with Big Union.  Scott makes the cover on the floor…1…2…3.

WINNER: ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott (R) @ 10:31

Thursday, November 03, 2011

Herman Cain Discussion on Bill Clinton’s Hot Tub, Attack of the Huntsman Girls: PCW Politics is War- Hour 1



PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN- Hour 1
Convocation Center
DeKalb, Illinois
Thursday November 3rd, 2011
Host: Johnny Suave


PCW’s tour of the American Heartland continues.


Bill Clinton’s Hot Tub with Bill Clinton!


Clinton lounges in the hot tub with a couple of babes to discuss the ongoing Herman Cain (R-GA) situation concerning allegations of sexual harassment.  Clinton starts off with explaining that he’d love to talk about the Cain controversy but-

Suave: *koff, koff* Paula Jones *koff, koff*

Clinton glares at Suave and continues.  He wants to talk about the sexual harassment allegations but-

Suave: *koff, koff* Gennifer Flowers *koff, koff*

Clinton begins to wag his finger.

Suave: *koff, koff* Kathryn Willey *koff, koff*

Clinton: “All right, already!”

Clinton bites his bottom lip and looks right at the camera.  He says he’d love to discuss it- but he can’t.  So he’s just going to relax in the hot tub.

MATCH #1
Axel Rodd (D) vs. Jamie Walker (R)

The Democrat‘s new wrestler faces off against Jon Huntsman‘s (R-UT) favorite wrestler.

…Rodd works the leg of Walker.  Walker tries to fight out but Rodd flips him over into a Boston Crab-type move.  He lets him go and then scoops Walker up.  Fireman’s carry…SPIN!  SPIN!  Rodd drops Walker and makes the cover.  1…2…3.

WINNER: Axel Rodd (D) @ 5:48

Post match, Rodd gets on the mic and wants to know is that all the Republican’s got?  Rodd begins to lite into the R’s when he’s attacked by the Huntsman girls- Mary Anne, Abby, and Liddy.

Jon Huntsman’s daughters get a measure of revenge on Rodd by depantsing him and causing him great embarrassment.

Suave: “That’s pretty sad when Jon Huntsman’s daughters are more effective than he is.”

COMMERCIAL BREAK

Suave recaps what went down on PCW Extreme Political TV Monday night between Republican the Rev. Randy Richardson (formerly Triple R [D]) and the God Squad and PCW Men’s Champion ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D).

From Monday night’s show:
Courtney and Chloe whip open their tops and gives Richardson a Wardrobe Malfunction.  Sneaking into the ring, former PCW Champion O’Beck Bahama (D) makes his return and puts Richardson in the Bahama Backbreaker. Chism gets the pin at 11:51 to retain the men’s title


Rev. Richardson and the God Squad condemn the actions of the Skanky Rich Bimbos: Kim, Courtney, and Chloe in hitting him with the ‘Wardrobe Malfunction’ and ripping off their tops.  But Richardson saves his harshest words for former PCW Champion O’Beck Bahama (D).   Richardson calls him weak.

Rev. Richardson: “You were a weak champion and you’re still weak.”

He points to the back and out walks Rev. Oral Hinnrich, Pastor Buddy Flambe, and Sister Mary Marlboro dragging the SRB’s Kim to the ring.  Kim, making lots of news with the announcement of her impending divorce after just 72 days of being married, is thrown to the mat in front of Richardson.  Richardson holds up a Bible and shouts ‘Behold the good book!’ and whaps Kim in the head with it.  He then puts Kim into his own version of the ‘Bahama Backbreaker’ and calls for Bahama to come out and give him a match.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

Bahama is out and brawling with Richardson.  PCW Men’s Champion ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D) and the other two Skanky Rich Bimbos: Courtney and Chloe attend to Kim.

A referee slides into the ring.

MATCH #2
The Right Reverend Randy Richardson (R) w/The God Squad: Rev. Oral Hinnrich and Pastor Buddy Flambe with Sister Mary Marlboro vs. O’Beck Bahama (D)


…Richardson tombstones Bahama for two.  Rev. Hinnrich applies a full nelson on Kim and Sister Mary Marlboro slaps her until Courtney comes in with a cookie sheet and takes her out.  Pastor Flambe retaliates by headbutting Courtney.  Belly-to-belly suplex by Rev. Hinnrich on Courtney brings out the EMTs.  The match stops so they can scrape Courtney off the mat…

…everyone brawls in the crowd.  Rev. Hinnrich comes off the top rope and clears the barricade and three rows of chairs to take down Stone Chism.   Back inside the ring, Rev. Richardson goes insane and mauls Bahama with a chair.  He targets the knee.  Kim jumps on Richardson’s back and stops him from getting the submission by choking him.  Suddenly, Chism gets back into the ring and drills Richardson with a camera.  Bahama DDTs Richardson and then slaps on the Bahama Backbreaker.   Richardson taps out.

WINNER: O’Beck Bahama (D) @ 12:27

Post match, Chism turns to Bahama and extends his hand.  Suave explains that Chism and Bahama have not seen eye to eye dating back to 2008 when Bahama was the PCW Champion and Chism wanted the title.   It was Chism who knocked Bahama out of competition for over a year by concussing him on the ring bell in 2009.  Suave wonders if ‘bygones will be bygones.’

Bahama takes Chism’s hand and kicks him in the groin.  Then he DDT’s him and leaves the ring.

Suave: “I guess not.”

COMMERCIAL BREAK

Suave notes that one year from now will be PCW’s signature show, the bi-annual PCW Extreme Election Night 2012.  As a special feature, here’s the PCW Title Match between Champion Republican Starz N. Stripes (now ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott)  and challenger O’Beck Bahama (D) from Extreme Election Night 2008.

REPLAY FROM PCW EXTREME ELECTION NIGHT 2008
MAIN EVENT: PCW TITLE MATCH
O’BECK BAHAMA w/Barack Obama (Progressive Alliance)
vs. STARZ N. STRIPES © w/John McCain (American Patriots)


The referee calls for the bell.



Suave: “Here we go!”

Staredown as O’Beck and Starz circle each other. Starz smiles and they finally lock up. Starz goes for a bodyslam. Bahama reverses and pushes Starz to the ring ropes. Starz holds on to the ropes. Circling and staring again. Another lockup. O’Beck shoots Starz’s leg and takes him down. Arm drag into a wrist lock by Bahama. Into the corner. Starz unleashes a right hand that glances off Bahama. Bahama with a side headlock. Irish whip into the ropes. Back body drop by Bahama. Bahama shoots him into the ropes again but this time Starz hangs onto them. Starz slides out of the ring and takes a walk to confer with McCain. .Starz back in and they lock up yet again. Bahama monkey-flips Starz and delivers the boots to the gut. Out of nowhere, Starz slaps on the American Star and Fuji Arm Bar submission hold.


Suave: “THIS COULD BE IT!”

Bahama grabs the ropes and hold on to them for dear life. The referee breaks the hold.

Starz confers with John McCain. Bahama slingshots himself across the ring and crushes Starz against the steel barricade. Irish whip into the barricade on the other side. Another Irish whip from Bahama. He ducks for a backdrop but Starz kicks him in the mush. Starz starts laying in right hands and pushes Bahama out through the ropes. Bahama quickly climbs back up on the apron. Starz charges. Bahama ducks and back body drops the PCW champion over the ropes and through a ring table.

Suave: HOLY CRAP!”

O’Beck wastes no time in climbing the top rope and splashing Starz on the floor.

Crowd: “PCW…PCW!”

Starz crawls out of the wreckage but Bahama follows up with an Irish whip into the steel guardrail. Bahama grabs a chair and waffles Starz with it. Starz slumps to the ground. Bahama climbs the ring steps.

Suave: “MISSILE DROP KICK FROM THE STEPS! STARZ CAUGHT IT FLUSH ON HIS JAW AND HE IS DAZED!”

Bahama pulls Starz up. Superkick! Starz falls backwards and hits the floor hard. Barack Obama urges Bahama on. Bahama presses the attack, grabbing another steel folding chair and pastes the champion in the face with it. He throws the chair on the floor.

Suave: “DDT ON THE CHAIR! THE PCW CHAMPION IS IN BIG, BIG TROUBLE. HE DOESN’T KNOW WHERE HE’S AT!”

Bahama drags Starz back into the ring. Bahama goes for the win.

Suave: “1…2…NO! BAHAMA GAVE HIM TOO MUCH TIME AND STARZ KICKS OUT!”
Bahama goes for another cover.

Suave: “NO! STARZ KICKS OUT AGAIN! BAHAMA MAY HAVE MADE A HUGE MISTAKE IN NOT TRYING TO PIN THE CHAMPION ON THE FLOOR!”

Starz tries to fight back. Bahama lifts him for a jack-knife power bomb. Starz flips through and shoves the New Rookie Sensation into the ropes. Wild right by Starz misses badly. Bahama trips Starz and he lands throat first on the top ring rope. Running splash takes the air out of Starz. Bahama covers.

Suave: “1…2…McCAIN SAVES HIM! McCAIN RAN OVER AND PUT THE CHAMPION’S FOOT ON THE ROPES!”

Bahama drives Starz to the canvas with a running power bomb. The crowd begins to anticipate a possible title change.

Suave: “THIS COULD BE THE NIGHT! BAHAMA COVERS…”

A huge roar erupts.

Suave: “IT’S SARAH PALIN! SHE’S IN THE RING! *THWACK* HOLY CRAP! *THWACK* OH! SHE NAILED BAHAMA WITH HER HOCKEY STICK!”

Bahama staggers.

Suave: “TINA FEY! TINA FEY’S OUT HERE! SHE GOES UP TO PALIN…SHE TAKES THE HOCKEY STICK AWAY. AND NOW, FEY’S LEAVING! PALIN’S CHASING HER.”

Standing drop kick by Starz drives Bahama into the corner.

Suave: “SARAH PALIN HAS TOTALLY CHANGED THE COMPLEXION OF THE MATCH!”

An newly energized Starz throws lefts and rights. Snap mare take down. Enzuigiri by Starz and then a backpack stunner. Bahama blocks a suplex attempt but eats a flying knee. Starz charges and shoulder blocks Bahama into the ropes. Bahama walks right into a Ricola bomb. Cover. 1…2.. Bahama gets the shoulder up. Bahama gets crotched on the top rope and schoolboyed for another two. Starz goes for a Texas Cloverleaf but Starz rolls through it. Starz hits a Michinoku Driver. Starz hits a fireman’s carry takedown and then a chinlock. Bahama escapes the hold and pushes Starz back. Right by Bahama. Right by Starz. Right by Bahama. Right by Starz. Irish whip by Starz reversed by Bahama followed by another reversal. Bahama misses a leg drop. Starz back suplexes Bahama. Bahama wildly charges. Starz sidesteps. Bahama bounces off the ropes and Starz delivers a Death Valley Driver. Cover. Suave: “One…Obama breaks the count this time.” Starz hits a tilt-a-whirl suplex. Starz goes for a piledriver; Bahama kicks him low.

Suave: “That’ll stop your momentum in a big hurry.”

Bahama with rights. Irish whip into the ropes. Bahama ducks the lariat. Lou Thesz Press by Starz. He
pummels Bahama on the canvas. Irish whip by Starz. Belly to belly suplex. Bahama bounces off the canvas.

Suave: “STARZ WITH THE MOMENTUM AND…HE WANTS A TABLE!”

McCain slides a table into the ring and Stara sets it up. Rights by Starz. Then he sets Bahama up.

Suave: “HE’S LINING BAHAMA UP…”

The PCW crowd roars again.

Suave: “SARAH PALIN! .SARAH PALIN’S BACK OUT!…OR IS IT TINA FEY?”

Palin climbs up to the ring apron.

Suave: “I DON’T THINK STARZ’S SURE IF IT REALLY HER OR NOT.”

McCain’s confused.

Suave: “STARZ PULLS BAHAMA UP AND HOLDS HIM…HE’S TELLING PALIN OR FEY OR WHOMEVER TO GO AHEAD.”

Palin swings. Bahama ducks. Starz catches the stick with his hand. He throws Bahama out of the ring.

Suave: “STARZ IS PISSED. HE FLIPS HER INTO THE RING!”

The crowd stands and cheers.

Suave: “HE’S NOT! YES HE IS.”

Starz powerbombs her through the table.

Suave: “HOLY CRAP!”

Tina Fey runs out dressed as Palin. She winks at Starz and leaves.

Suave: “OH MY GOD! STARZ JUST POWER-BOMBED SARAH PALIN THROUGH A TABLE!”

Starz looks at the unconscious Palin lying among the ruins of the table in abject disbelief. McCain is stunned. Starz checks on her. Bahama claws his way back into the ring and blindsides the distracted Starz from behind…

COMMERCIAL BREAK
End of Hour 1

Tuesday, November 01, 2011

The Muppets on PCW?: 10/31- PCW Extreme Political TV

PCW Extreme Political TV Recap
Hulman Center
Terre Haute, IN
Monday October 31st, 2011
Host: Johnny Suave


Suave is in the ring to announce the first match when a strange song starts to play…

A lifesize Kermit the Frog, Fozzie Bear, and Miss Piggy come out.  Suave is disgusted and opines out loud “What self-respecting wrestling show would stoop to this?  The Muppets?”

Suave: “Oh.”

The frivolity doesn’t last long.  Def Leppard‘s ‘Rock, Rock Til You Drop’ plays and PCW’s Extreme Equalizer Whiskey Tango Foxtrot runs down and choke slams ‘Kermit the Frog’, ‘Fozzie’, and ‘Miss Piggy’ through three separate  flaming tables.

Don’t worry kiddies, the costumes only sustained minor burn damage.  Anyways…

PCW CEO Barack Obama continued to exercise power via executive orders by mandating a PCW Title match between Champion Daniel-San (I) and Big Labor (D).  Obama then blamed the ‘gridlock’ on Obstructionist Republicans as a justification of his actions.

Women for Women: Code Pink and Emily List (D) come out and demand a rematch with the PCW Women’s Champion Valora Salinas (I).  Obama, via executive fiat, agrees and calls for the match.
Valora doesn’t come out (she’s out of town and not in the building) but The Mercenaries: Dawn McGill and Svetlana Kovaleski (I) do.

McGill and Kovaleski def. Women for Women in 5:15.

The God Squad: Rev. Oral Hinnrich, Pastor Buddy Flambe, The Right Reverend Randy Richardson, and Sister Mary Marlboro (R) attack PCW Men’s Champion ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism‘s valet- The Skanky Rich Bimbos.

Suave wonders who spilled the beans on where the SRB were going to be.  Then Kris Humphries, Kim’s husband, walks out.  He drags Kim over to Rev. Richardson who delivers a Sermon on the Mount that leaves her unconscious in the ring.

Richardson blasts Kim for filing for divorce a scant 70 plus days into their marriage.  He’s about to deliver a second Sermon on the Mount when Chism challenges Richardson one on one  with the title on the line.  Richardson accepts and the match begins.

Five minutes in, Courtney and Chloe whip open their tops and gives Richardson a Wardrobe Malfunction.  Sneaking into the ring, former PCW Champion O’Beck Bahama (D) makes his return and puts Richardson in the Bahama Backbreaker.

Chism gets the pin at 11:51 to retain the men’s title.

Post match, Chism gets on the mic and shouts at the God Squad, “How about your Tim Tebow now?   What happened to him?  Oh, I know, he got destroyed by some Lions last week.”

Main Event:
PCW Champion Daniel-San (I) walks out with Mrs. Miyagi.  But PCW CEO Obama announces on the jumbotron that per his executive order, she is NOT allowed to be at ringside for the match.  Then Big Labor (D) and his minions attack and nearly win the match.

American Heartlander Charlie Blackwell, wife Kenzie, and ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido run in to help Daniel-San and the PCW Champion retains at 9:07.

—————-

Thursday night:

PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN heads to Rockford, Illinois this Thursday night.

Herman Cain’s Smokin’ New Ad: PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN- Hour 2


PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN- Hour 2
Ohio University Convocation Center
Athens, OH
Friday October 28th, 2011
Host: Johnny Suave



COMMERCIAL BREAK

MATCH #3
Texas Jack (R) w/Rick Perry (R-TX) vs. Jay F. Kennedy (D) of the Massachusetts Bluebloods w/John Kerry (D-MA)

Jack gets a much needed victory over JFK and starts to rebuild his resume to make another run at the PCW Title.

WINNER: Texas Jack (R) @ 6:06

BACKSTAGE
Security tries to keep PCW CEO Barack Obama’s Aide de Camp Joe Biden (D-DE) and Human Events Editor Jason Mattera (Conservative) separated.

Biden shouts out “Don’t screw around with me.  Do you know who I @#$@-ing am?  Mattera responds that Biden is a “blue-collar poser” and then called the “union goons” Biden made the rape reference in front of “parasites on the system.”

Biden threatens to have Mattera investigated by calling the press office to discuss the incident and whether any rules were broken by Mattera.

Security finally gets the two separated.

Green World Order: ‘Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee, GreenPete, PeaceNick, and Peta from PETA (D) in the ring and they’re ranting and raving over the ‘Smoking Video.’  Suave wonders what the hell he’s talking about.  Lee says play the video…

Suave: “Oh.  Interesting.  I wonder how THAT’s going to go over.”

Of course, the GWO is totally up in arms about someone smoking in public and demand that the Cain campaign take it down.  They are joined by…

Soccer Mom (D) and New Age Sensitive Guy Blaine Thomas-Taylor (D).  Soccer Mom also calls for the ad to come down and yells, “IT’S FOR THE CHILDREN!”  Thomas-Taylor also concurs.
Joining Suave at the broadcast table: David Brooks (R) of the New York Times and syndicated columnist Mark Shields (D).  Suave asks Brooks about the ad.

Brooks: ““My heart melts for that smile.  I just I like it. Everybody is going crazy, ‘Oh, it’s terrible.’ First of all, that guy Mark Block, that guy — I went into journalism to hang around guys like that. I thought it would be fun to hang around ne’er-do-wells like that.”

Suave: “Really?  What about the smoking?”

Brooks: “And, you know, I don’t mind the smoking.  I like film noir, Humphrey Bogart. Lauren Bacall smoked a lot. I think it’s fine, but people are going crazy about it.”

Suave turns to Shields and is equally surprised by his response.

Shields: “I couldn’t agree more.  I have to say that I`m so tired of the formula political ad, the candidate with the jacket over the shoulder, the two beautiful kids, and the dog walking into the sunset, you know, with jaw jutting.”

After praising it from diverting from the typical political ad format, Shield’s added:  “This is totally – it’s authentic,” he said. “It’s natural, it’s non-formulaic. And it’s completely consistent with Herman Cain’s absolutely eccentric campaign. And authentic and eccentric, I would say that those are the two … the cigarette smoking. People smoke cigarettes. They do. We kind of deny it, I guess, in public buildings, but people do.”
 
The GWO take offense at at that and attack both Shields and Brooks.  Suave gets out of the way.  Josh Jackson climbs top rope and splashes the GWO.

A referee appears- it’s another impromptu match.

COMMERICAL BREAK


MATCH #4
‘Pizza Delivery Guy’ Josh Jackson (R) w/Herman Cain (R-GA) vs. ‘Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee of the GWO (D) w/GreenPete, PeaceNick, and Peta from PETA and Soccer Mom and New Age Sensitive Guy

No ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin tonight in Jackson’s corner.

The numbers game favors the Democrats.  But no one thought this would happen…

…Lee, GreenPete, and PeaceNick pound away at Jackson in the corner.  Lee sets Jackson up for his finisher- ‘The Juicer’ when…

Dennis Miller (R)?  Dennis freakin’ Miller shows up.  Peta gets in his grill and starts shouting at him, calling him a ‘turncoat’ for switching parties.  Miller gets off a line with an obscure, esoteric reference about the GWO being so far to the left that..” they nearly decapitated Lyndon LaRouche.”

Peta: “Huh?”

Miller: “Hey, Cunningham — Andy Warhol called. You’re at 14:55 and we’re tickin’ big-time here, Chachi.”
Of course, Peta looks totally confused and the others become distracted.  Out of nowhere, Jackson hits the Pizza Cutter on Lee and sets him up for the 9-9-9.    By the time the GWO realizes what’s happened, Jackson has the legs hooked…1…2…3.

WINNER: ‘Pizza Delivery Guy’ Josh Jackson (R) @ 6:40

OUT AND ABOUT
The OWS still seek out those who were the once 99%, now down to 47%.  But they keep get plugging on, asking a middle class family at a store if they were with them or with the 1%.  Again, the answer given is:  ‘neither’ and the OWS Skulks away.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

PCW CEO Barack Obama (D-IL) comes out to defend his decision to go around the PCW Competition Committee to disband the ‘King of Extreme’ Title held by Ann Coulter (R) and create the PCW Men’s title.
Suave scoffs and wonders if a Democrat held the belt would he felt the same.

Obama blames Republicans on the Competition Committee “who won’t work with him” and says many of changes PCW faces ‘can’t wait.’

The Leader of the PCW Competition Committee John Boehner (R-OH) walks out and tells Obama fine.  Boehner immediately books another title match for the new PCW Men’s Champion ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D)- against ‘The Right Reverend’ Randy Richardson (R).
Richardson, the former Triple R and longtime member of the Democrats, has a huge grudge against Chism.  He comes out with the God Squad: Reverend Oral Hinnrich, Pastor Buddy Flambe, and Sister Mary Marlboro (R).

Richardson: “Challenge accepted.”

Chism walks out wagging his finger.  Just like CEO Obama says, he states, we don’t begrudge anyone wealth or success — we encourage it.  Chism says PCW is better off when everyone has had the chance to get ahead — not just the Republicans.  So, he calls out his next opponent…

A man is led to the ring.

Chism: “This is Bobby Harper.  He’s unemployed.  And I’m giving him a chance to win the PCW Men’s Champion.”

MATCH #5
PCW Men’s Champion ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D) w/the Skanky Rich Bimbos: Kim, Courtney, and Chloe vs. Bobby Harper (I)

This is, of course, no contest.  Chism toys with the unemployed person before hitting the Hollywood Blockbuster for the pin.

WINNER AND STILL PCW MEN’S CHAMPION: ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism @ 2:46

Can You Hear the People Sing?‘ from the musical Les Miserables plays and out comes Charlie Blackwell of the American Heartland Party.  Blackwell takes exception to Chism’s treatment of Harper and charges the ring with Mike the Mechanic and Shiela the Secretary.

Chism slips out the back door and leaves the SRB in the ring as a buffer.  Blackwell climbs in the ring and is greeted by all three of the Skanky Rich Bimbos ripping off their tops.

Suave: “WARDROBE MALFUNCTION!  WARDROBE MALFUNCTION!”

Shiela fires up the portable generator and uses the jumper cables to zap Chloe with them.

Suave: “HOLY CRAP!”

The other two members of the SRB eject themselves from the ring and also race to the back.