Monday, August 29, 2011

Ron Paul Drops Moneybomb, Cheney and Powell Argue About Books: PCW Extreme Political TV

PCW Extreme Political TV
East Kentucky Expo Center
Pikeville, Kentucky
Monday August 29th, 2011
Host: Johnny Suave

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Suave welcomes everyone to PCW Extreme Political TV.   Tonight, there will be an announcement regarding the future of PCW Champion ‘The Japanese SuperDestroyer’ Yamamoto Tanaka (D).  Plus, after blowing up two women’s matches Thursday night on PCW Politics Is War, where will Valora’s Path of Rage strike next?
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The big match on the docket:
-Democrats have a grudge match between ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism and Triple R.  Last week on PCW Politics Is War show, Triple R eliminated Chism during a three way dance Waiver match by dropping him onto barbed wire.   Then later on…
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…Bahama comes back with a Springboard elbow.  Triple R gets tied to the TREE OF WOE!!!   Bahama dropkicks a chair into Triple R’s face.  Triple R is busted open now.   Bahama then beats his ass while Triple R screams for help from Stone Chism.  Bahama applies the Bahama Backbreaker.   Here comes Chism with a steel chair.   He goes after Bahama…NO.  CHISM KILLS TRIPLE R with the chair shot!  Bahama covers…1…2…3…
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MATCH #1
‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D) w/The Skanky Rich Bimbos: Kim, Courtney, and Chloe vs. Triple R (D)

Chism is the darling of the Hollywood Left.  Triple R the darling of the Angry Left Wing Bloggers.
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…Chism misses a dive to the floor.  Knee gets banged up in the process.  Suave notes that Triple R baited him into hurting himself.  Chism continues to fight.   A rope walk rana is blocked.  Frogsplash should finish Triple R but someone runs out and pulls Chism off.  IT’s the Angry Left Wing Bloggers: Markos Moutilsas of the Daily Kos, Arianna Huffington, Firedog Lake’s Jane Hamsher, and Eric Boehlert from Media Matters for America.
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The Hollywood Left respond by running to the ring to break it up.   In the midst of the chaos, Chism slaps a figure four on Triple R.  Kim Cardis-Sheehan grabs Chism’s hands for extra leverage and Triple R is forced to tap out @ 6:36.
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COMMERCIAL BREAK
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When PCW returns, the Skanky Rich Bimbos are lying unconscious in the ring with Chism.  Triple R lies on the floor outside the ring.  Who’s in the ring…
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Valora Salinas (I)
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Suave: “HOLY CRAP!”
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Valora and her lead pipe stand over the fallen Cardis-Sheehans.  Valora’s “Path of Rage” continues and she departs.
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Suddenly, Big Oil’s music hits.  He comes out to the entrance ramp and says that he wants to make it perfectly clear that it’s not his fault that gas prices haven’t dropped.  But rather, the fault lies with the American People for continuing to use gas like it will never go away.  But tonight, Big Oil  mentions he and tag team partner are entitled to challenge the Republican’s #1 team for their spot.  He wants it to happen tonight.
The Leader of the PCW Competition Committee John Boehner (R-OH) walks out and says that the Schmidts told him that they would meet Big Oil and Walkstreit tonight.    Boehner tells Big Oil he is starting to become an embarrassment to everyone in the PCW and Texas itself.
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Backstage
Former George W. Bush aide de camp Dick Cheney promotes his new book, In My Time.  While promoting the memoir, Cheney promised that there would be “heads exploding all over Washington” when the book hits the shelves tomorrow.
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Cheney is confronted by Colin Powell who tells him that his head isn’t exploding and to knock off the cheap shots.   Powell: “You had a long and distinguished career, and I hope in this book that is what you will focus on, not these cheap shots that you’re taking at me and other members of the administration who served to the best of our ability for PCW CEO Bush.”
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Cheney and Powell exchange words.   Cheney accuses him of not being forthcoming with his opinions to Bush.  Powell retorts “nonsense.” He states Bush knew that I told him what I thought about every issue of the day.  Cheney holds up a copy of the book as we go to a commercial…
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COMMERCIAL BREAK
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Republican Headquarters
With Rick Perry (R-TX) looking on, Texas Jack (R) officially signed on to be the Republicans #2 wrestler.  Jack says he’s looking forward to winning a play-in spot in next months Lock and Load Tournament.
Three of the four spots for the Lock and Load Tournament have been filled: PCW Champion Yamamoto Tanaka (D)- the Democrats #1 wrestler, ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott (R)- the Republican’s #1, and now former PCW Champion O’Beck Bahama (D)- who won a Waiver into the match Thursday night.
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Replay-ROUND ONE OF LOCK AND LOAD TOURNAMENT PLAY-IN: Daniel-San (I) w/Mrs. Miyagi vs. ‘The Self-Proclaimed Savior of the Middle Class’ Big Labor (D) vs. ‘Bureaucrat’ Andy Riley (D) vs. Kevin Collins of Paul Ryan’s Raiders (R)
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…Daniel-San looks around and goes to the top.  Riley is looking away.  Daniel-San hits the five star frog splash! LABELL LOCK!  Blackwell has Big Labor locked up in the Tazzmission in the corner.  Riley taps…‘Bureaucrat’ Andy Riley eliminated
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Daniel-San to the top of an adjacent corner.  Blackwell holds a chair on Big Labor’s face, VAN TERMINATOR!  Big Labor topples over.  Daniel-San quickly slaps on the Cattle Mutilation.  Big Labor taps…
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Backstage
Angry at what took place earlier in the night, the Angry Left Wing Bloggers: Markos Moutilsas of the Daily Kos, Arianna Huffington, Firedog Lake’s Jane Hamsher, and Eric Boehlert from Media Matters for America kidnap Christine O’Donnell (R-DE), tie her to a stake, dump a pile of her new book, Troublemaker, at her feet, and set them ablaze.
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Security personnel quickly rush to the scene and put the fire out.
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COMMERCIAL BREAK
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Upcoming Shows:
8/29- PCW Extreme Political TV
9/8- PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN
9/12- PCW Extreme Political TV
9/15- PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN
9/19- PCW Extreme Political TV
9/22- PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN
9/25- PCW Lock and Load PPV
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Tanaka Announcement
With PCW CEO Barack Obama (D-IL) by his side, PCW Champion Yamamoto Tanaka (D) announces backstage that he is indeed leaving PCW at the end of next month.  Tanaka is returning to Japan to wrestle there.
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MAIN EVENT- NON-TITLE MATCH:
PCW Tag Team Champions The Schmidt Brothers: Jack and Joe (R) w/Ron Paul (R-TX) vs. Corporate Might: Big Oil (R) w/Texas Tex and Kirk Walstreit (R)
-winner becomes/remains the Republican’s #1 tag team
-loser becomes/remains the Republican’s #2 tag team


Both teams combined have won the PCW Tag Team Title five times.  Both teams beat each other from pillar to post in this match.
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…Jack boots Walstreit down in the corner but then misses an elbow.  Big Oil drops Jack with a German suplex.  Joe tags in.  Joe suplexes Walstreit.  But Big Oil interferes again and splashes Joe in the corner.  All four in the ring now.  Jack delivers a bulldog to Big Oil.  Joe low blows Walstreit and makes the cover.  Texas Tex now in the ring and he breaks the pin with his golden money belt.
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Jack DDT’s both Kirk Walstreit and Texas Tex simultaneously.  Joe tries to slap a sleeper hold on Big Oil but the big guy drops him.  Walstreit nails Jack with a Cyclone Kick.  Walstreit tries to make the pin on Joe but Ron Paul makes the save at two.  Big Oil spins Paul around but Jack low bridges him.  Big Oil throws Jack out of the ring and he and Walstreit  deliver the Corporate  Swing to Joe for two.  Joe fights out of the doubleteam and sends Walstreit into Big Oil.  Ron Paul on the top rope with a big cashbox…MONEYBOMB!  Walstreit is knocked out and Joe makes the cover…1…2…3…pin at 10:09.
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Suave reminds everyone that PCW will be off the rest of the week and will return next Thursday night with PCW Politics Is War on P-SPAN.  Happy Labor Day everyone!
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Saturday, August 27, 2011

Jim Loves Emma, Callie Loves Hillary, and Valora Hates Everyone: PCW Week In Review

First it was Marine Sgt. Scott Moore asking actress Mila Kunis to the Marine Ball.  She accepted.
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Then, Corporal Kelsey DeSantis asked Justin Timberlake to the Marine Ball.  He accepted.
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And now…
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Jim Carrey Professes His Love for Emma Stone
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FNqnjHrRscs
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Which inspired this…
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Noel Wells Professes Her Love for Jim Carrey
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ApTmE6-Yho&feature=grec_index
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And then, this…
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Kathy Griffin Professes Her Love for Justin Bieber
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pDRO7fGzSU8
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And finally…this…
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Jim Carrey Professes His Love for Emma Stone- Ace Ventura style
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IMqXfn7NBRw
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What will Emma Stone do?  Stay tuned.
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—————-
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This week in the world of political extreme started off in Albany, New York where Hillary Clinton (D-NY) announced the Democrats top two wrestlers they will be pushing: #1 PCW Women’s Champion Callie Urban, #2 Kathryn Randall Collins aka KRC aka the artist formerly known as Katie Collins of the Triple Threat.
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Callie says she’s always been a diehard Democrat and is a huge fan of Hillary Clinton.
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It didn’t take long for Collins to make an impact…
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Replay: Valora Salinas (I) vs. Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen (R) w/’Texas Cowgirl’ Haley Dallas (R)…Democrats Kathryn Randall Collins, Code Pink, Emily List, and Kelly and Korey Korver hit ringside and attack all three.  Code Pink blinds Valora with a ‘Glitter Bomb’ while KRC, List, and the Korvers double team Jones and Dallas...
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The Triple Threat didn’t take too kindly to KRC leaving them at the altar like that so they brought in a real live American Girl, Sarah Mae Smith, to take her place.
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…Smith clears out Code Pink and Emily List.  Jones blasts Kelly Korver with an Eskimo Pieface.  Valora finally clears her eyes and chases KRC from the ring.  Dallas lariats Korey Korver out…
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The Triple Threat had a second problem…’The Queen of Extreme’ Valora Salinas who’s pretty much ticked off at everyone…
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…Valora gets on the microphone and makes it clear that she is the Queen of Extreme and does not play second fiddle to anyone- Democrat or Republican.  Valora says that she respects Callie Urban but she doesn’t respect The Triple Threat after what they pulled on her a couple weeks ago.   She says all the security in the world won’t guarantee KRC or the Triple Threat’s safety.  They can fight her at the local Tim Horton’s or they can fight her in PCW- it doesn’t matter.
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Valora: “Defeat me if you can.  Survive if I let you.”…
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————————
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PCW CEO Barack Obama announced on Monday that the Television Title was being done away with and replaced with a Women’s Tag Team Division.
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…AC/DC’s ‘If You Want Blood’ plays and Angels of Death walks out.  They accept the belts from Joe Biden.  Biden wants to know if they received the bouquet of flowers that the DNC sent out to them.  Casey says yes and that they’ve made a decision.  Scott says in Missouri Valley Wrestling they were for making MVW better.  In PCW, they’re in it for themselves.  Casey and Scott pull off their shirts revealing t-shirts underneath covered by a myriad of corporate sponsors.  So they’ve joined the Republicans and are changing their names to Merchants of Death.   A stunned Obama and Biden watch as the MOD leave the ring with their new tag team belts…
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Well, that worked out well.  So, Angel Scott and Angel Casey aka…Merchants of Death (R) have their belts, where does that leave the now former PCW Television Champion Daniel-San (I)?
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…Daniel-San throws down the TV belt and leaves…
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Actually, the real reason Daniel-San was miffed had to do with this four man tournament Obama cooked up for the upcoming PCW Lock and Load Pay Per View show on September 25th.
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…There will be a four man tournament featuring the #1 Democratic wrestler, the #1 Republican wrestler, a wrestler who will be given a waiver into the tournament by PCW CEO Obama, and a fourth spot which will be a play-in spot.  The waiver match will be between Democrats ‘One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism and O’Beck Bahama…
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That’s right, the former Television Champion will have to play his way in.  On Thursday night, Daniel-San began doing exactly that with an assist from Charlie Blackwell (I) and his Les Miserables.
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Replay-ROUND ONE OF LOCK AND LOAD TOURNAMENT PLAY-IN: Daniel-San (I) w/Mrs. Miyagi vs. ‘The Self-Proclaimed Savior of the Middle Class’ Big Labor (D) vs. ‘Bureaucrat’ Andy Riley (D) vs. Kevin Collins of Paul Ryan’s Raiders (R)
…Daniel-San looks around and goes to the top.  Riley is looking away.  Daniel-San hits the five star frog splash! LABELL LOCK!  Blackwell has Big Labor locked up in the Tazzmission in the corner.  Riley taps…‘Bureaucrat’ Andy Riley eliminated
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Daniel-San to the top of an adjacent corner.  Blackwell holds a chair on Big Labor’s face, VAN TERMINATOR!  Big Labor topples over.  Daniel-San quickly slaps on the Cattle Mutilation.  Big Labor taps…
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Daniel-San wasn’t the only one who expressed his displeasure at the set up of the tournament…
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…Triple R (D) comes out with the Daily Kos’s Markos Moutilsas (D), Jane Hamsher of Firedog Lake (D), and Katrina Vandenheuvel of The Nation (D) to complain about not being included in the Waiver Match.   Triple R says that PCW CEO Barack Obama is ignoring a significant faction of the Democrats just to push his own wrestler- O’Beck Bahama.  Bahama had his chance, got injured, and couldn’t cut it.  Triple R says he’s been screwed over one too many times and he doesn’t know if he can continue to support Obama.   He demands to be added to the match.
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Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) and Harry Reid (D-NV) walk out.  They sympathize with Triple R.  They value Triple R.  So, they’ll make it a three-way dance for the Waiver Slot…
*
The match started well for Triple R.  He eliminated ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism with a reverse neckbreaker onto barbed wire.  But then Chism would factor in the finish of the match…
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…Then Triple R sets up for it… YES YES YES!!! It’s the Road Rash!!!  But Bahama comes back with a Springboard elbow.  Triple R gets tied to the TREE OF WOE!!!   Bahama dropkicks a chair into Triple R’s face.  Triple R is busted open now.   Bahama then beats his ass while Triple R screams for help from Stone Chism.  Bahama applies the Bahama Backbreaker.   Here comes Chism with a steel chair.   He goes after Bahama…NO.  CHISM KILLS TRIPLE R with the chair shot!  Bahama covers…1…2…3…
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So, three of the four spots for the Lock and Load Tournament have been filled: PCW Champion Yamamoto Tanaka (D)- the Democrats #1 wrestler, ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott (R)- the Republican’s #1, and now former PCW Champion O’Beck Bahama (D)- who won a Waiver into the match.
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——————————
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What to Look For This Week:
-Valora’s Path of Rage: after blowing up two women’s matches Thursday night on PCW Politics Is War, what will Valora do next?  And what does she want?
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-An announcement concerning the future of PCW Champion’The Japanese SuperDestroyer’ Yamamoto Tanaka (D).  Has he signed on with a Japanese wrestling company?  Is he leaving Political Championship Wrestling?  Is there anything the Democrats can do to make him stay?
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-An announcement concerning the status of ‘The Alaskan Pitbull’ Sarah Palin (R-AK) next weekend.  Is she going to vy for the Republican nomination for PCW CEO?  Is she going to be content with playing an active outside role?
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Monday night, it’s PCW Extreme Political TV and then we are off for the Labor Day weekend.  No PCW Week In Review next Saturday.  PCW returns on Thursday September 8th with Politics Is War on P-SPAN and the final push towards PCW Lock and Load on the 25th.
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Thursday, August 25, 2011

Average Joe Responds to Maxine Waters: PCW Politics Is War on P-SPAN


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PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN (2 hrs)
WesBanco Arena
Wheeling, WVa
Thursday August 25th, 2011
Host: Johnny Suave

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MATCH #1 (Taped in China)
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Joe Biden (D-DE) vs. Some Mongolian Wrestler
What the hell?

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It’s funny now but Suave can’t look.  The wrestler drops Biden with a clubbing right hand.  Big Splash!  Hook the legs…1…2…3.
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Result: Some Mongolian Wrestler @ :23
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Suave shakes his head and throws it to the ring.
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Average Joe (Tea Party)…

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…is in the ring.   Suave explains that he is responding to this…
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Maxine Waters (D-CA)

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Waters: “I’m not afraid of anybody.  This is a tough game. You can’t be intimidated. You can’t be frightened. And as far as I’m concerned, the ‘tea party’ can go straight to Hell.
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Average Joe wants to set the record straight.  He says if anyone should go straight to hell its Ms. Waters and the rest of the elitist ruling class who’ve ignored middle class America for the past 25 years.  The same ruling class who’ve let middle America drown while propping up their special interest groups.  The same ruling class who saved big business, saved big labor, while middle America have their homes foreclosed.  This is not a game.  This is not about who wins and who loses.   This is about average Americans like Average Joe.  “Ms. Waters, as far as I’m concerned, you and your ilk, the ruling elites, you are the ones who can go straight to hell.”
*
Suave sends it to the ring.
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MATCH #2

Soccer Mom (D) vs. Cathy the Dance Mom (R)
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Soccer Mom shouts, “IT’S FOR THE CHILDREN!” as she climbs into the ring.  Cathy just bitches about everything.
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The bell rings and not much happens.  Then…
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Valora Salinas (I)
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Valora comes out with a lead pipe and slaps Cathy in the face, sending her flying across the ring.  She drops Soccer Mom on her neck with a Tazplex.  Then she pops a Half-Nelson Suplex on Soccer Mom and she’s out.  Valora then finishes Cathy with the Tazmission at 2:28. Total destruction.
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Result: No contest @ 2:28
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Suave explains that Valora is extremely pissed off at the Democrats for passing her over and Republicans, most notably The Triple Threat, for the sneak attack on her a couple weeks ago.  Now, she’s on the warpath of destruction.
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COMMERCIAL BREAK
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Monday night on PCW Extreme Political TV…
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…Obama makes a second announcement- there will be a four man tournament featuring the #1 Democratic wrestler, the #1 Republican wrestler, a wrestler who will be given a waiver into the tournament by PCW CEO Obama, and a fourth spot which will be a play-in spot…
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…This brings Daniel-San (I) and Mrs. Miyagi out.  Why does a Democrat get a special waiver when he was the PCW TV Champion.  Obama says that Daniel-San can still play into the tournament.  Mrs. Miyagi calls the idea totally ridiculous.  Daniel-San throws down the TV belt and leaves.
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MATCH #3- ROUND ONE OF LOCK AND LOAD TOURNAMENT PLAY-IN
Daniel-San (I) w/Mrs. Miyagi vs. ‘The Self-Proclaimed Savior of the Middle Class’ Big Labor (D) vs. ‘Bureaucrat’ Andy Riley (D) vs. Kevin Collins of Paul Ryan’s Raiders (R)

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Suave says it’s clear what’s going on here- the Democrats are going to try and keep former PCW Television Champion Daniel-San out of the tournament at Lock and Load.
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Triple R (D) and the California Teacher’s Union (D) join Big Labor.
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The bell rings and early brawling quickly moves to the floor.  Daniel-San hangs Riley over the railing.  Mrs. Miyagi holds a chair on Daniel-San for a leg drop from the apron.  In the ring, dropkick by Collins to a seated Big Labor.  Guerilla press by Big Labor and then a standing moonsault by Andy Riley…
*
…Daniel-San with a fireman’s carry, rolls forward, and then flips out of the corner onto Collins.  Daniel-San on top, Triple R hits him with a chair, and then tosses the chair to Big Labor.  Onto the apron, Big Labor hits Daniel-San with a chair again.  Big Labor drives Daniel-San to the floor and the California Teacher’s Union beats him down.  Back into the ring, Riley in control of Collins.  He puts Collins into the… TREE OF WOE!  Riley puts a chair in front of Collins, baseball slide, Collins eats steel.   Riley covers…1…2…3.  Kevin Collins (R) eliminated.
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COMMERCIAL BREAK
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…Daniel-San climbs the ropes.  Big Labor comes and stops him and hits a belly to back suplex!  Big Labor hits a DDT.  Riley flies at him and hits a clothesline.  He puts Daniel-San in the tree of woe.  Mrs. Miyagi makes the save and Daniel-San gets out of it.  Then Big Labor gets a Boston Crab.  Mrs. Miyagi tosses a chair at Big Labor and he breaks the hold.  Big Labor goes for a suplex on Daniel-San- blocked.  Daniel-San reverses into a body scissors.  Spin kick by Daniel-San.  Atomic drop.  Moonsault by Daniel-San on Big Labor for 2.  Triple R in the ring a second time.  He has a chair and blasts Daniel-San.  The CTU’s Malibu Dusty does a rolling senton from the opposite corner.  ‘Foul Pole’ Andy Golatta sneaks up and hits with a ‘Foul Pole’ low blow.  Big Labor goes for the sharpshooter! Mrs. Miyagi gets a chair and drills Big Labor in the back.  Big Labor lets go of the hold.  He pushes Mrs. Miyagi down.  Big Labor hits Mrs. Miyagi with the Scabbuster.
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COMMERCIAL BREAK
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…’Can You Hear the People Sing?’ from the musical Les Miserables plays and Texan Charlie Blackwell (I), ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido (I), and Blackwell’s Les Miserables attack Triple R and the California Teacher’s Union: ‘Foul Pole’ Andy Golatta and Malibu Dusty.
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Daniel-San looks around and goes to the top.  Riley is looking away.  Daniel-San hits the five star frog splash! LABELL LOCK!  Blackwell has Big Labor locked up in the Tazzmission in the corner.  Riley taps…‘Bureaucrat’ Andy Riley eliminated
*
Daniel-San to the top of an adjacent corner.  Blackwell holds a chair on Big Labor’s face, VAN TERMINATOR!  Big Labor topples over.  Daniel-San quickly slaps on the Cattle Mutilation.  Big Labor taps…
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RESULT: Daniel-San (I) @ 33:25
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Daniel-San says if anyone’s getting a title shot, it’s going to be him.  He says he has a problem with Harry Reid (D-NV), Nancy Pelosi (D-NV), and maybe even PCW CEO Barack Obama (D) getting involved in his business and conspiring to take the PCW Television title from him and keep him out of the tournament. Daniel-San points out that Katie Collins (now Kathryn Randall Collins) probably wouldn’t have got her title shot against Women’s Champion Callie Urban (D) had she not been in ca-hoots with the Democrats.   Daniel-San says that he’s officially made it his mission to destroy everyone put in his way towards the PCW title.
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COMMERCIAL BREAK
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John Boehner’s (R-OH) Office
Texas Jack (R) is seated with Rick Perry (R-TX).  Boehner announces that Texas Jack is signing on as the Republican’s #2 wrestler.  Perry promises Texas Jack that this is only the beginning.  He thinks Texas Jack could be a PCW Champion.
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In walks ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott, the Republican’s #1 wrestler, with Mitt Romney (R-MA).  Scott welcomes Texas Jack to the team and hopes he’ll be behind him all the way as ‘The American Citizen’ becomes a 3-time PCW Champion.  Scott and Jack have an awkward handshake.  Perry and Romney glare at each other.
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COMMERCIAL BREAK
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Triple R (D) comes out with the Daily Kos’s Markos Moutilsas (D), Jane Hamsher of Firedog Lake (D), and Katrina Vandenheuvel of The Nation (D) to complain about not being included in the Waiver Match.   Triple R says that PCW CEO Barack Obama is ignoring a significant faction of the Democrats just to push his own wrestler- O’Beck Bahama.  Bahama had his chance, got injured, and couldn’t cut it.  Triple R says he’s been screwed over one too many times and he doesn’t know if he can continue to support Obama.   He demands to be added to the match.
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Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) and Harry Reid (D-NV) walk out.  They sympathize with Triple R.  They value Triple R.  So, they’ll make it a three-way dance for the Waiver Slot.
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Backstage
The newest member of the Triple Threat, Sarah Mae Smith (R), cries out for help.  The camera follows her back into the locker room where Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen (R) and ‘Texas Cowgirl’ Haley Dallas are unconscious on the floor.  Both are bleeding.
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Nurse Nellie of the PCW Clean Up Crew runs in with a couple of EMT’s to go to work on Jones and Dallas.  Smith blames the attack on Valora Salinas.
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Suave says Valora’s path of rage continues.
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Backstage
EMT’s also attend to CNN’s Piers Morgan.  Suave explains that Morgan was going to come out and call out King of Extreme Champion Keith Olbermann from Current TV (D) for Olbermann’s FOK buddies: Shannyn Moore, David Shuster, and Rachel Maddow, ‘FOK’g him over Monday night.
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Suave: “It looks like Morgan’s been FOK’d again.”
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COMMERCIAL BREAK
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MATCH #4
The Korver Sisters: Kelly and Korey (D) vs. The Pinups: Sabrina James and Alicia Rowe (R)

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The Korvers are former MVW Tag Team Champions.  The Pinups had a pretty good run in Missouri Valley Wrestling last year.
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…Korver for the pin…IT’S VALORA!
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She dumps Kelly Korver into the corner and then fires right hands.  Valora then dumps Sabrina James and Alicia Rowe out of the ring with Taz Plexes.  Valora with the lead pipe.  She clocks Korey Korver with the pipe and she’s out.  Valora grabs Kelly and Border Tosses her out of the ring.
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Result: No contest @ 4:02
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COMMERCIAL BREAK
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MAIN EVENT: WAIVER MATCH FOR A SPOT IN THE LOCK AND LOAD TOURNAMENT
‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D) vs. O’Beck Bahama (D) vs. Triple R (D)

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Chism is one of the best technical wrestlers in PCW.  Bahama has a lot of flair.  And Triple R will do whatever it takes to get himself over.
*
…Triple R and Chism on the top.  Triple R tosses Chism crotch first onto the top rope covered in barb wire.  Chism tries to get away but Triple R Reverse Neckbreaker’s Chism  into onto the wire.  Triple R covers…1…2…3.  Stone Chism eliminated.

…Bahama brings Triple R to the top.  Superplex.  Impaler by Triple R.  Triple R kicks him, and does a German Suplex for the pin.  Then Bahama floats over for a sunset flip.  Then Triple R sets up for it… YES YES YES!!! It’s the Road Rash!!!  But Bahama comes back with a Springboard elbow.  Triple R gets tied to the TREE OF WOE!!!   Bahama dropkicks a chair into Triple R’s face.  Triple R is busted open now.   Bahama then beats his ass while Triple R screams for help from Stone Chism.  Bahama applies the Bahama Backbreaker.   Here comes Chism with a steel chair.   He goes after Bahama…NO.  CHISM KILLS TRIPLE R with the chair shot!  Bahama covers…1…2…3.
*
RESULT: O’Beck Bahama (D) @ 15:30

Monday, August 22, 2011

Hillary Clinton Welcomes Women's Champion to Democrats

PCW Extreme Political TV
Washington Avenue Armory
Albany, New York
Monday August 22th, 2011
Host: Johnny Suave

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PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein sticks a microphone in the face of someone on the street and asks him about the Olbermann/Morgan war.  His response…
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In any war between Keith Olbermann and Piers Morgan, we all lose. Unless they destroy each other.  Then we all win.”
*
Johnny Suave welcomes everyone to another edition of PCW Extreme Political TV.  He talks about the main event between Olbermann and Morgan for the King of Extreme title.
*
Suave’s then joined in the ring by the esteemed Hillary Rodham Clinton (D-NY)
*

*
Hillary’s here to make a huge announcement.  She tells the crowd that the Democrats have signed their #1 and #2 wrestlers.  First, the #2 wrestler…
*

Former 2 time PCW Women’s Champion
Kathryn Randall Collins (D)
(Formerly Katie Collins of the Triple Threat)

*
The crowd is stunned when KRC comes out and joins the Democrats.  Suave wonders if this means the end of The Triple Threat.  The Hillary Clinton announces the new #1 wrestler for the Democrats…
*

PCW Women’s Champion Callie Urban (D)
*
…the crowd roars as the PCW Women’s champion makes her way to the ring.  Suave wonders what this means for former MVW Champion Valora Salinas.
*

*
Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) joins HRC and heralds the arrival of Callie Urban to the Democrats.  Callie says she’s always been a diehard Democrat and is a huge fan of Hillary Clinton.
*
Backstage

*
PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein asks the other two members of the Triple Threat their reaction to Katie Collins become KRC again and rejoining the Democrats.
*

Kalee Jones-The Eskimo Queen (R) and ‘Texas Cowgirl’ Haley Dallas (R)
Dallas feels betrayed but don’t worry about the Triple Threat, we aren’t going away.  Dallas ends the interview as Jones has an upcoming match.
*
COMMERCIAL
*
MATCH #1
Valora Salinas (I) vs. Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen (R) w/’Texas Cowgirl’ Haley Dallas (R)

*
Valora comes out and totally negates Jones power with a lead pipe. Valora hits a dropkick early on and then grinds Jones into the mat with a side headlock.  Valora sends The Eskimo Queen out to the floor.  She goes for an Asai moonsault, but Jones gets out of the way.  Valora lands on her feet Dallas whips her into the guard barrier.  Jones takes Valora back to the ring and works her over.  Valora pokes the eyes and delivers a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for a quick two count.  Valora whips Jones into the corner and shoots forward but Jones backdrops her over the top to the outside floor.
*
Haley Dallas jumps in to help The Eskimo Queen and the match breaks down.
*
Then Democrats Kathryn Randall Collins, Code Pink, Emily List, and Kelly and Korey Korver hit ringside and attack all three.  Code Pink blinds Valora with a ‘Glitter Bomb’ while KRC, List, and the Korvers double team Jones and Dallas.
*
We find out quickly who replaces KRC in the Triple Threat…
*

‘The American Girl’ Sarah Mae Smith (R)
*
Smith clears out Code Pink and Emily List.  Jones blasts Kelly Korver with an Eskimo Pieface.  Valora finally clears her eyes and chases KRC from the ring.  Dallas lariats Korey Korver out.
*
Match: No contest @ 5:20
*
Valora gets on the microphone and makes it clear that she is the Queen of Extreme and does not play second fiddle to anyone- Democrat or Republican.  Valora says that she respects Callie Urban but she doesn’t respect The Triple Threat after what they pulled on her a couple weeks ago.   She says all the security in the world won’t guarantee KRC or the Triple Threat’s safety.  They can fight her at the local Tim Horton’s or they can fight her in PCW- it doesn’t matter.
*
Valora: “Defeat me if you can.  Survive if I let you.”
*
COMMERCIAL
*
*flute and clarinet flourish*
*
Two men come out and unroll a white carpet to the ring steps. Dancers then dance. Ballet dancers…ballet?  Little children walk up the white carpet and drop rose petals. Someone lets loose some pigeons…not sure just how they’ll get out of the building.  The crowd stands as PCW CEO Barack Obama appears.  Behind Obama walks Joe Biden.
 *
Obama and Biden climb into the ring.  Obama has two announcements to make.  The first one, Obama announces that with the addition of the women’s division, he has made a second decision to start a women’s tag team division.  What that means is that one of the other belts will have to go- the Television Title belt that’s being held by Daniel-San (I).
*
Obama then states that since Angels of Death…
*
Angel ScottAngel Casey
Angels of Death: Angel Scott and Angel Casey
…long time Missouri Valley Wrestling tag team champions, will become the inaugural PCW Women’s Tag Team Champions.
 *

AC/DC’s ‘If You Want Blood’ plays and Angels of Death walks out.  They accept the belts from Joe Biden.  Biden wants to know if they received the bouquet of flowers that the DNC sent out to them.  Casey says yes and that they’ve made a decision.  Scott says in Missouri Valley Wrestling they were for making MVW better.  In PCW, they’re in it for themselves.  Casey and Scott pull off their shirts revealing t-shirts underneath covered by a myriad of corporate sponsors.  So they’ve joined the Republicans and are changing their names to Merchants of Death.   A stunned Obama and Biden watch as the MOD leave the ring with their new tag team belts.
*
Obama makes a second announcement concerning the upcoming PCW Lock and Load PPV show next month.  There will be a four man tournament featuring the #1 Democratic wrestler, the #1 Republican wrestler, a wrestler who will be given a waiver into the tournament by PCW CEO Obama, and a fourth spot which will be a play-in spot.  The waiver match will be between Democrats ‘One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism and O’Beck Bahama.
*
This brings Daniel-San (I) and Mrs. Miyagi out.  Why does a Democrat get a special waiver when he was the PCW TV Champion.  Obama says that Daniel-San can still play into the tournament.  Mrs. Miyagi calls the idea totally ridiculous.  Daniel-San throws down the TV belt and leaves.
*
COMMERCIAL
*
Quick video package: weekend Twitter war between Piers Morgan and Keith Olbermann leads to tonight’s main event.
*
MATCH #2- KING OF EXTREME TITLE MATCH
Keith Olbermann (D) (c) vs. Piers Morgan of CNN

*
Olbermann and Morgan don’t even make the ring.  They start on the floor and truly brawl with chairs and stuff instead of trying to have a “grappling bout.”
*
Suave: “They have a beef with each other and they are showing it.”
*
It was a fine brawl, had decent intensity, the end is great when Morgan gets a moonsault while holding a chair onto Olbermann.  Morgan for the win and the title…1…2…3.
*
Piers Morgan raises his hands and gets clocked from behind by Olbermann’s FOK buddies David Shuster, Shannyn Moore, and Michael Moore.  He’s down.  A second referee comes out and says Olbermann had his foot on the bottom rope.
*
Suave: “DUSTY FINISH!  IT’S GOING TO BE A DUSTY FINISH!”
*
Morgan isn’t moving.  Olbermann walks over and sticks his foot on top of him. 1…2…3.
*
WINNER/STILL KING OF EXTREME KEITH OLBERMANN @ 8:06

*
The crowd goes nuts and heaves all sorts of debris in the ring as the show ends.
*

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Olbermann v. Morgan Set for Monday Night: PCW Week in Review

Olbermann vs. Morgan This Monday Night
As reported on Twitter yesterday, the Keith Olbermann/Piers Morgan war has now escalated and Olbermann of Current TV will put his King of Extreme title on the line this coming Monday night against CNN’s Morgan on PCW Extreme Political TV.  Is the ring big enough for these two massive egos?
PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein sticks a microphone in the face of someone on the street and asks him about the Olbermann/Morgan war.  His response…
*
In any war between Keith Olbermann and Piers Morgan, we all lose. Unless they destroy each other.  Then we all win.”
*
Rick Perry Gets In/Iowa Battle Royale
It was a good week in PCW for Rick Perry (R-TX).  First, he made a grand statement when he sent Texas Jack (R) to Iowa last weekend and take out the winner of the Iowa Battle Royale.  Next, he announced on video screen that he was running for PCW CEO.  Thursday night, Texas Jack, with Perry in his corner, dispatched the winner of the Iowa Battle Royale, Average Joe (Tea Party) with Michele Bachmann in his corner, to open PCW’s Politics Is War on P-SPAN show.
*
Speaking of Iowa, despite the post match chicanery, Michele Bachmann (R-MN) came out smelling like a rose guiding Average Joe past a tough Jack Schmidt (R) from Ron Paul’s (R-TX) camp.  Former 2-time PCW Champion Kevin Scott (R) surprisingly bowed out early on in the match thanks to some help from ‘Extreme Environmental Hardcore Icon’ Al Gore (D-TN).  Gore made a surprise appearance and distracted Scott which allowed Schmidt to dump him over the top rope.
*
Not doing so well in Iowa, Newt Gingrich (R-GA) who’s Brad Company (R) finished in last, and Utah Republican Jon Huntsman who helped Jamie Walker (R) to a seventh place out of eight finish.
*
Farmer John (R) finished third with Tim Pawlenty (R-MN) but Pawlenty still departed the CEO race anyways.
*
Chris Christie (R-NJ) Now a Possibility??
Thursday night on PCW Politics Is War on P-SPAN saw the debut of a new team- The Jersey Boyz.  The boyz made an immediate impact…
*
…Vinnie regains control over Jenkman.  Mona Lisa sets up a table.  Not good enough.  She puts thumbtacks on the table.  Still not good enough.  She sets the table on fire.  That’ll do.  Vinnie and a semi-recovered Frankie hit the New Jersey Death Drop on Jenkman through the table.  The referee dumps a bottle of something on Jenkman to put out the fire as he counts the pin.  The Jersey Boyz get their first PCW win at 9:36.
*
With the appearance of the Jersey Boyz in PCW, could Chris Christie be far behind?  Will he get into the PCW CEO race?
*
Democrats and Republicans Recruit Callie Urban and Valora Salinas
The wooing of both women intensified this week as both parties tried to convince Urban and Salinas to join their side.
*
Late word has it that the Democrats want Callie as their #1 women’s wrestler, Valora as their #2.  Anyone who knows Valora, coming off an impressive 10 month run as Missouri Valley Wrestling champion, will wonder if she’ll accept playing second fiddle to anyone, much less the woman who defeated her for the MVW title.
*
However, don’t expect Valora to walk over to the Republicans either.  Depending on what Urban does will prompt Salinas to make her decision.
*
Kelly and Korey Korver have signed on with the Democrats.  “The American Girl” Sarah Mae Smith and “Trailer Trash” Lani Harlot joined the Republicans.  “Demolition Machine in a Skirt” Dawn McGill formally declared herself to be an Independent.
*
Christine O’Donnell Walks Out of Bill Clinton’s Hot Tub
Clinton brings up the pictures that showed up in Gawker of O’Donnell dressed in a beetle’s costume before sleeping with some guy.  O’Donnell again tried to move the conversation.  Then Clinton got into the issue of same sex marriage.  O’Donnell: “I don’t think it’s relevant. It’s not a topic that I chose to embrace, it’s not what I’m championing right now — I’ve been there, done that, gone down that road.”  And then to Clinton’s surprise, she got up out of the hot tub, wearing and red polka-dotted, beetle type swimsuit, and walks off.
*
O’Donnell later explained her actions to PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein…
*
“He had a decidedly inappropriate line of questions leading up to that, that many people — bloggers — are saying was just border-line creepy.  I was not there to talk about sex — and he would not stop trying to talk about sex.  I’m not a 20-year-old on MTV right now.  So let’s get back to the political issues that I lay out in the book — and he wouldn’t let up.”
*
PCW Champion Yamamoto Tanaka (D) Criticized by Fellow Democrat Triple R
Triple R, never known to hold anything back, blasted Tanaka for not being more active in helping put Democrats over.
*
…Triple R says he’ll take pictures with your kids and sign autographs in the back…NOT!  The crowd really rips into him. As a matter of fact, that’s how he started his career in PCW, by being the underappreciated, uncrowned PCW champion.  Triple R says PCW Champion Yamamoto Tanaka (D) is in it for himself and doesn’t do anything to help Democrats win.  He brushes O’Beck Bahama (D) off as an viable PCW title contender and calls Republican ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott a ‘has been, never was.’  Then Triple R demands a title shot against Tanaka and calls himself a true Democrat.
*
There is no love lost between Tanaka and Triple R ever since Triple R and ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D) conspired to get the belt off the Japanese SuperDestroyer at PCW Extreme Election Night 2010.  Republican Jill Berg defeated Tanaka after unbeknownst to her, Triple R and Chism attacked Tanaka in his dressing room before the match.  Soon afterwards, both men demanded a title shot against Berg.
*
It’s no secret that Tanaka is the favorite of mainstream Democrats while Triple R is the darling of the Markos Moulitsas, Firedog Lake faction of the Democrats.  Tanaka is rumored to be leaving PCW within the next few weeks to wrestle full time in Japan.  If and when Tanaka leaves, it will leave a huge vacuum at the #1 slot for the Democrats that Triple R, Chism, and possibly the returning O’Beck Bahama will battle to fill.
*
Monday night on PCW Extreme Political TV:
-PCW King of Extreme Champion Keith Olbermann of Current TV puts his title on the line against CNN’s Piers Morgan.
*
PCW WORLD CHAMPION: ‘The Japanese SuperDestroyer’ Yamamoto Tanaka (D)
PCW WOMEN’S CHAMPION: Callie Urban
PCW TELEVISION CHAMPION: Daniel-San (I)
PCW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: Jack and Joe Schmidt (R-Libertarian)
*

SINGLES CONTENDERS:
#1- Charlie Blackwell (I)
#2- ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D)
#3- Texas Jack (R)
*
TAG TEAM CONTENDERS:
#1- California Teachers Union: ‘The Foul Pole’ Andy Golatta/Malibu Dusty (D)
#2- Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit (R)
#3- Big Labor/Triple R (D)
*
WOMEN’S CONTENDERS:
#1- Katie Collins (R)
#2- Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen (R)
#3- Valora Salinas
*
PCW KING OF EXTREME CHAMPION: Keith Olbermann (D)
#1- Glenn Beck (R)
#2- ‘The Queen of Political Extreme’ Ann Coulter (R)
#3-  Ed Schultz (D)
*

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Christine O'Donnell on Bill Clinton's Hot Tub: PCW Politics Is War on P-SPAN


PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN (2 hrs)
NMU Vandament Arena
Marquette, MI
Thursday August 18th, 2011
Host: Johnny Suave

*
Replay from Iowa’s Republican Battle Royale
…Average Joe kicks Schmidt into the table.  Spinning toe hold is countered by Schmidt and he hits a back suplex.  Schmidt tries for a piledriver through the table.  Average Joe somehow gets loose and they both fall through the table.
*
Crowd: “HOLY @#$#!  HOLY #@$@!  HOLY !@#@!”
*
Out of nowhere, Average Joe lariats Schmidt over the top rope and that’s it.  Jack Schmidt Eliminated…
*
Suave calls it a big win for Average Joe (Tea Party) and Michele Bachmann (R-MN).  Then…
*
Ron Paul is also very pleased with the results.  But then, Texas Jack (R) pushes them out of the way and hits the ring.  Lariat to Average Joe.  Vertical Suplex to Average Joe.  Inverted Atomic Drop by Texas Jack and then locks in the Texas Cloverleaf.
*
On the video screen, Rick Perry (R-TX) appears.  He announces that he is indeed throwing his hat in the ring to become the next PCW CEO.
*
Crowd: “PCW!…PCW!…PCW!…”
*
Suave throws it to the ring.
*
MATCH #1
Texas Jack (R) w/Rick Perry (R-TX) vs. Average Joe (Tea Party) w/Michele Bachmann (R-MN)

Suave wonders if this could be a precursor of things to come.
*
…Average Joe tries a sunset flip but Texas Jack puts the brakes on.  Jack tries to go for a neckbreaker but gets rolled up for 2.  Average Joe gets a Fireman’s Carry and then the Airplane Spin?  Joe slams Texas Jack to the mat but he’s too dizzy to make the cover and lands on Jack’s stones. Michele Bachmann in the ring.  She rolls Average Joe on for the cover but Texas Jack gets his feet on the ropes.  Bachmann can’t believe it.  Average Joe with a suplex and goes up top.  Texas Jack makes it over and crotches him.  Jack hits the top rope Bulldog for 2.  Texas Jack hits a second bulldog out of the wheelbarrow for another 2.  Average Joe tries to sneak in a Victory Roll.  Texas Jack counters and hits the spike piledriver to win it at 8:41.
*
Rick Perry hits the ring and celebrates with Texas Jack.  Suave observes that Perry and Jack are on a huge roll right now.
*
Backstage
Valora Salinas is being wooed by ‘The Alaskan Pitbull’ Sarah Palin (R-AK), Nikki Haley (R-SC), and Jan Brewer (R-AZ) to join the Republicans.
*
COMMERCIAL
*

Bill Clinton’s Hot Tub with Bill Clinton!

‘Troublemaker’ Christine O’Donnell (R-DE) is interviewed by Bill Clinton inside a hot tub.  Clinton asks her about her new book, ‘Troublemaker.’  Then he broaches the subject of sex.  O’Donnell tries to turn the conversation back to the book.  Then Clinton brings up the pictures that showed up in Gawker of O’Donnell dressed in a beetle’s costume before sleeping with some guy.  O’Donnell again tried to move the conversation.  Then Clinton got into the issue of same sex marriage.  O’Donnell: “I don’t think it’s relevant. It’s not a topic that I chose to embrace, it’s not what I’m championing right now — I’ve been there, done that, gone down that road.”  And then to Clinton’s surprise, she got up out of the hot tub, wearing and red polka-dotted, beetle type swimsuit, and walks off.
*
Suave: “O-kay.”
*
Triple R (D) cuts a promo.  He gets heat from the crowd when he introduces himself as the longtime uncrowned PCW champion and promises to represent them all with respect, honesty, and passion…NOT!
*
The crowd chants “Tanaka…Tanaka…”
*
Triple R says he’ll take pictures with your kids and sign autographs in the back…NOT!  The crowd really rips into him. As a matter of fact, that’s how he started his career in PCW, by being the underappreciated, uncrowned PCW champion.  Triple R says PCW Champion Yamamoto Tanaka (D) is in it for himself and doesn’t do anything to help Democrats win.  He brushes O’Beck Bahama (D) off as an viable PCW title contender and calls Republican ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott a ‘has been, never was.’  Then Triple R demands a title shot against Tanaka and calls himself a true Democrat.  Then he tosses the mic to the ground and leaves.
*
MATCH #2
O’Beck Bahama (D) vs. Niles McDermott (I)
Bahama’s second match back against another overmatched opponent in McDermott.
*
…Bahama fights off the game McDermott even after taking a shot of green mist and a lot of martial arts kicks. Bahama gets the Bahama Backbreaker on McDermott who taps out at 4:55.
*
COMMERCIAL
*
Backstage
PCW Women’s Champion Callie Urban talks with Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) and Harry Reid (D-NV) and try to get her to join the Democrats.
*
Suave says PCW has brought in a special guest this week- the world famous rock group BACKMAN TAYLOR OVERDRAFT!
*
The crowd roars as Landon Backman shears off a hot rock riff and the group begins.
*
Got the notice in the mail today
When I opened it up it ruined my day
My bank balance wasn’t so large
There was a thirty-three dollar charge
A thirty-three dollar charge
*
 I didn’t understand why the statement says
My hard earned cash was deducted away
I put my coat on and went to my car     
To contest my thirty-three dollar charge
A thirty-three dollar charge
*
(Chorus)
Thirty-three dollar charge (Thirty-three dollar charge)
It was a thirty-three dollar charge
Thirty-three dollar charge (Thirty-three dollar charge)
It was a thirty-three dollar charge
*
 I went to the bank to ask them why
Teller said a check presented didn’t fly
And the money involved was way too large
I got a thirty-three dollar charge
A thirty-three dollar charge
*
(Chorus)
Thirty-three dollar charge (Thirty-three dollar charge)
It was a thirty-three dollar charge
Thirty-three dollar charge (Thirty-three dollar charge)
It was a thirty-three dollar charge
*
Backman snaps off another searing guitar solo.
*
Got the notice in the mail today
When I opened it up it ruined my day
My bank balance wasn’t so large
There was a thirty-three dollar charge
A thirty-three dollar charge
*
(Chorus)
Thirty-three dollar charge (Thirty-three dollar charge)
It was a thirty-three dollar charge
Thirty-three dollar charge (Thirty-three dollar charge)
It was a thirty-three dollar charge
Thirty-three dollar charge (Thirty-three dollar charge)
It was a thirty-three dollar charge
Thirty-three dollar charge (Thirty-three dollar charge)
It was a thirty-three dollar charge
*
COMMERCIAL
*
*Spooky music begins followed by a funky beat*
*
(sung to ‘Ghostbusters’)
If there’s something grazing
In your neighborhood
Who you gonna call
(Goatbusters)

*
If you see a herd
And it don’t look good
Who you gonna call
(Goatbusters)

*
I ain’t afraid of no Goat
I ain’t afraid of no Goat

*
If you’re seeing horns
Running through your yard
Who can you call
(Goatbusters)

*
If you have a goat
Sleeping in your bed
Oh, who you gonna call
(Goatbusters)

*
I ain’t afraid of no Goat
I ain’t afraid of no Goat

*
Who you gonna call
(Goatbusters)

*
If you’re all alone
Pick up the phone
And call
(Goatbusters)

*
I ain’t afraid of no Goat
I hear it likes the girls
I ain’t afraid of no Goat
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

*
Who you gonna call
(Goatbusters)
If you’ve had a dose
Of a freaky Goat
Maybe you’d better call
(Goatbusters)

*
Let me tell you something
Bustin’ makes me feel good

*
I ain’t afraid of no Goat
I ain’t afraid of no Goat

*
MATCH #3
Jersey Boyz: Vinnie and Frankie (R) w/Mona Lisa vs. The Goatbusters: Peter Jenkman and Ray Scantz (I) w/Argon

The debut of the Jersey Boyz in PCW which makes Suave wonder if Chris Christie (R-NJ) isn’t too far behind.
*
…vicious chairshot to Jenkman before we go back to ringside. Argon helps Scantz fold and set up a table between the apron and barricade.  Scantz wraps an electrical cord around Frankie’s neck and chokes him.  Mona Lisa tries to interfere, but Scantz totally no-sells her and slams Frankie through the table.  Argon then blows a gigantic fireball at Mona Lisa.  She dives out of way and barely avoids it.
*
Back in the ring, Vinnie regains control over Jenkman.  Mona Lisa sets up a table.  Not good enough.  She puts thumbtacks on the table.  Still not good enough.  She sets the table on fire.  That’ll do.  Vinnie and a semi-recovered Frankie hit the New Jersey Death Drop on Jenkman through the table.  The referee dumps a bottle of something on Jenkman to put out the fire as he counts the pin.  The Jersey Boyz get their first PCW win at 9:36.
*
COMMERCIAL
*
Backstage
‘Troublemaker’ Christine O’Donnell (R-DE) talks with PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein.  O’Donnell again hawks her new book, ‘Troublemaker.’  Then the subject turns to her walking out on Bill Clinton’s Hot Tub earlier in the show.  O’Donnell: “He had a decidedly inappropriate line of questions leading up to that, that many people — bloggers — are saying was just border-line creepy.  I was not there to talk about sex — and he would not stop trying to talk about sex.  I’m not a 20-year-old on MTV right now.  So let’s get back to the political issues that I lay out in the book — and he wouldn’t let up.”
*
Backstage
It’s PCW Champion Callie Urban’s turn to be wooed by Republicans ‘The Alaskan Pitbull’ Sarah Palin (R-AK), Nikki Haley (R-SC), and Jan Brewer (R-AZ).
*
Across the hall, Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) and Harry Reid (D-NV) lobby Valora Salinas to convince her to join the Democrats.
*
Upcoming PCW Events
8/22- PCW Extreme Political TV
8/25- PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN
9/5- PCW Extreme Political TV
9/8- PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN
9/12- PCW Extreme Political TV
9/15- PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN
9/19- PCW Extreme Political TV
9/22- PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN
9/26- PCW Lock and Load PPV
*
MATCH #4- PCW TELEVISION TITLE MATCH
Daniel-San (I) w/Mrs. Miyagi vs. James the Jeep Worker (D)

PCW CEO Barack Obama comes out to watch the match along with O’Beck Bahama.  Obama also is interested in helping James the Jeep Worker.
*
…All hell breaks loose as the California Teacher’s Union: ‘Foul Pole’ Andy Golatta and Malibu Dusty (D), Big Labor, and Triple R hit the ring.  Belly-to-belly suplex by Big Labor on Mrs. Miyagi. The EMT’s rush in and scrape Mrs. Miyagi off the mat.
*
Les Miserables “Do You Hear the People Sing” plays and Charlie Blackwell, ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido and Blackwell’s Les Miserables run down.  Everybody begins brawling in the crowd and Blackwell comes off the top rope that actually clears the barricade and three rows of chairs to nail Big Labor with a steel chair.  Back inside the ring, Daniel-San snaps and just mauls James with a chair.  He targets his knee to make James easy prey for the any number of submission moves in Daniel-San’s arsenal.  Daniel-San DDTs him and then locks in the Cattle Mutilation.  Blackwell etal keep the Democrats at bay and James is forced to tap out at 10:21.
*
COMMERCIAL
*
Backstage
PCW Backstage Interviewer Paige McGillicutty catches ‘Troublemaker’ Christine O’Donnell as she’s leaving the building.  O’Donnell: “I’m already late for a Republican Women’s event that’s also being covered by P-Span.  There’s a room full of women wondering where I am, and I’m getting the wrap-up signal from my publicist…enough here Paige.”
*
MATCH #5- NON-TITLE MATCH
PCW Champion Yamamoto Tanaka (D) vs. Nick Ray (R) of Paul Ryan’s (R-WI) Raiders

Tanaka, under criticism for his lack of ‘teamwork’ with the Democrats, takes on the young Republican Nick Ray.
*
…Tanaka chops Ray down and follows with a backbreaker.  He heads to the top rope. Splash only get two and Ray miraculously kicks out.  The crowd is stunned.  Tanaka is stunned.  Even the referee is stunned. Tanaka pulls Ray to the top rope and it’s the JAPANESE SUPERDESTROYER.  Tanaka with the easy 3 count at 8:29.
*
Post match, Triple R (D) and ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D) come to the ring and Tanaka snaps.  Tanaka drags Ray to the top rope again and hits another Japanese SuperDestroyer that one pretty much kills Ray.  Ray is unconscious and bleeding from the mouth.  Tanaka points at Triple R and Chism and decides to make a point so he hits a third Japanese SuperDestroyer on Ray.  Suave screams at the referee to stop the carnage. “American Citizen” Kevin Scott (R)  comes in and tries to stop him from a fourth Japanese SuperDestroyer so Tanaka simply takes him out and drills him instead.   Finally, Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, and all the Democrats come in to stop the carnage.
*

Monday, August 15, 2011

Iowa Battle Royale Results: PCW Extreme Political TV

PCW Extreme Political TV

Hilton Coliseum

Ames, Iowa

Monday August 15th, 2011 (taped Saturday)
Host: Johnny Suave
Suave introduces the line up for the Republican Battle Royal:


’Pizza Delivery Guy’ Josh Jackson- representing Herman Cain

’American Citizen’ Kevin Scott- representing Mitt Romney

Jack Schmidt- representing Ron Paul

Farmer John- representing Tim Pawlenty
Dann Armey- representing Rick Santorum
Average Joe- representing Michele Bachmann
Brad Company- representing Newt Gingrich
Jamie Walker- representing Jon Huntsman
The bell rings and we’re off.

All eight Republican candidates urge their charges on at ringside.  Jamie Walker no-sells a clothesline from Brad Company.  But he stays down on a second one from Jack Schmidt.  Farmer John tries a leapfrog but is countered by a punt to the groin from Average Joe.   Dann Armey decides it’s time to break out a few suplexes!  He hits pump handle suplex on ‘Pizza Delivery Guy’ Josh Jackson.  Jackson gets locked in the cross-arm-breaker from Schmidt.  ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott finally gets some offense with a hard powerbomb to Brad Company.  Dann Armey gets a Northern Lights suplex on Company and tosses him over the top rope to the floor.  Brad Company Eliminated

Newt Gingrich (R-GA) defiantly declares he’s not giving up and he’s still here…well, for the moment until the referee makes him to the back.

COMMERCIAL

Average Joe nails an enzuiguri on Farmer John.  He climbs to the second rope and drops the leg.  Vertical suplex by Jamie Walker to Kevin Scott.  Walker backs Scott into a corner and charges but gets back-dropped to the floor.

Jamie Walker Eliminated.

Jon Huntsman (R-UT) is disappointed by the results but he, too, promises to keep going.

An Irish whip is reversed by Josh Jackson and he sends Farmer John crashing into the corner turnbuckle.  Nice top rope huracanrana from Scott to Average Joe.  Swandive headbutt by Jack Schmidt gets Scott.  Scott comes back with a clothesline to Schmidt and locks in a bow and arrow submission.  Schmidt escapes and connects with another powerbomb on Scott.

Schmidt takes Scott up top and tries for the Schmidt-brick.  Scott won’t play along so Schmidt settles for a top rope Belly to belly suplex.  Both men are down. But not for long. Dann Armey continues to suplex everything in sight with a German on Farmer John and a T-Bone suplex to Josh Jackson.  Average Joe is able to get an Average slam out of the corner on Schmidt.  Schmidt is taken up top by Kevin Scott.

Fleetwood Mac’s “Don’t Stop” suddenly starts to play. The crowd explodes as a spotlight shines on a plaid shirted man with a Singapore cane and a cup of mocha in his hands.

Suave: “IT’S HIM! HE’S HERE! THE TREE HUGGIN’, MOCHA CHUGGIN’, TOBACCO COMPANY BUGGIN’ ALPHA MALE AND ENVIROMENTAL EXTREME HARDCORE ICON…




The Extreme Environmental Hardcore Icon Al Gore (D-TN)


The crowd sings the chorus “Don’t stop, thinking about tomorrow.” Gore holds up his mocha, inside an environmentally friendly biodegradable container of course, and chugs it down. Then he spews it out of his mouth into the crowd and then crushes the paper container on his forehead in a manly fashion.

The Environmental Extreme Hardcore Icon walks down the steps to the main floor. At the bottom of the steps, Gore pulls out another container of mocha, guzzles it down, spews it into the crowd, and then smashes the container on his forehead. Gore then wades through the main floor crowd to the ring.  He climbs up on the apron, pulls out yet another cup of mocha, guzzles that one down, spews it into the crowd, and then smashes the container on his forehead.

Scott turns to jaw with Gore.  Schmidt recovers and pushes Scott out of the ring.  Kevin Scott Eliminated
Mitt Romney can’t believe it.

COMMERCIAL

Suave is going nuts as Al Gore and Kevin Scott brawl up the aisle.

Down to five.  Schmidt dumps Jackson down and Farmer John flies off the second turnbuckle with a legdrop to Average Joe.  Side slam to Farmer John by Dann Armey.  Schmidt nails a tilt-a-whirl powerslam to Josh Jackson and Average Joe follows up with an elbow drop.  Schmidt dumps Jackson over the top rope and now it’s down to four.  ‘Pizza Delivery Guy’ Josh Jackson Eliminated.

Herman Cain doesn’t exude much of a reaction after his wrestler was eliminated.

Farmer John fires back with a punt to the groin of Average Joe and a DDT to Dann Armey. Sit-out powerbomb by Jack Schmidt to Armey.  Schmidt then connects with a top rope facebuster to Armey.  Schmidt then launches Armey over the top rope and it’s now down to three.   Dann Armey Eliminated.

Rick Santorium actually looks pleased with how the evening went.

COMMERCIAL

Average Joe.  Farmer John.  Jack Schmidt.

Schmidt hits a spinning stalling suplex on Farmer John for two.  Ron Paul tosses a couple of chairs in.  Average Joe and Schmidt team up to hit a double neckbreaker right onto the steel chairs!   Then they toss Farmer John out of the ring and we’re down to two.  Farmer John Eliminated.

Tim Pawlenty looks very disappointed in the result and slowly heads to the back.

Down to the final two.  Schmidt nails Average Joe with a chair.  Dropkick to the knee from Schmidt to Average Joe.  Average Joe reverses into a neckbreaker.  Then he spikes Schmidt with a piledriver.  Average Joe follows up by taking out Schmidt with a ladder that Michele Bachmann had thrown into the ring.  He tries to use it for another attack.  But here’s Jack Schmidt! Slingshot Senton drives the ladder onto Average Joe!

Bachmann hands Average Joe a trash can and he batters Schmidt from pillar to post with it.  A wild swing from Average Joe allows Jack Schmidt to hit the belly to belly suplex for two. Now it’s Ron Paul on the hunt for more weaponry. He settles on a table.  Out of the blue, Average Joe kicks Schmidt into the table.  Spinning toe hold is countered by Schmidt and he hits a back suplex.  Schmidt tries for a piledriver through the table.  Average Joe somehow gets loose and they both fall through the table.

Crowd: “HOLY @#$#!  HOLY #@$@!  HOLY !@#@!”

Out of nowhere, Average Joe lariats Schmidt over the top rope and that’s it.  Jack Schmidt Eliminated.

Winner @ 57:32- Average Joe (Tea Party)

Bachmann is elated.  Ron Paul is also very pleased with the results.  But then, Texas Jack (R) pushes them out of the way and hits the ring.  Lariat to Average Joe.  Vertical Suplex to Average Joe.  Inverted Atomic Drop by Texas Jack and then locks in the Texas Cloverleaf.

On the video screen, Rick Perry (R-TX) appears.  He announces that he is indeed throwing his hat in the ring to become the next PCW CEO.

STUDIO SEGMENT

Suave appears from a production studio after the replay.   He announces that Tim Pawlenty (R-MN) has dropped out of the race.

But the big story was the entrance of Rick Perry.  Suave says hang on to your hats because things are getting good.

Saturday, August 13, 2011

This Week's PCW In Review



This week in PCW:

Al Gore (D-TN) assaulted ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott (R) Monday night after PCW Extreme Political TV went off the air. Three nights later on PCW Politics Is War on P-SPAN, Scott gets revenge by blowing up Gore’s mansion in Nashville.

Former PCW Champion O’Beck Bahama (D) returned to action for the first time in nearly two years Monday night and defeated Ken Kendall (I)

John Kerry (D-MA) complains about the Free Credit.com commercials playing tonight after PCW had its bond rating dropped. Kerry also introduced his new tag team, The Massachusetts’s Bluebloods, who defeated The Tea Party in their debut match.

Republican Katie Collins tells PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein that the attack by The Triple Threat on Valora Salinas last week “wasn’t personal.” On Thursday night’s PCW Politics Is War on P-SPAN, Valora returns the favor during Collins’s match against PCW Women’s Champion Callie Urban and helps Urban retain her title.

On Thursday night, ‘The Voice of PCW’ Johnny Suave ran down the results for Tuesday night’s PCW show in Madison, Wisconsin aka…Wisconsin Total Recall.
-Robert Cowles (R) def. Nancy Nusbaum (D)
-Sheila Harsdorf (R) def. Shelly Moore (D)
-Luther Olson (R) def. Fred Clark (D)
-Jessica King (D) def. Randy Hopper (R)
-Jennifer Shilling (D) def. Dan Kapanke (R)

It all came down to a match between Republican Alberta Darling and Sandra Pasch (D) to decide the winner. Darling started slow. Big Labor and his union friends liberally interfered in the match but in the end, it was Charlie Blackwell’s friends who made the difference in the match.

…McGill, Blackwell, and the Les Miserables brawl around the ring with Big Labor, the CTU, and Triple R.

Inside the ring, Darling hits a Blue Thunder Bomb for 2. She lifts Pasch up into a Fireman’s Carry. Pasch elbows out but Darling comes back with chops and then hits the Fireman’s Carry Gutbuster for 2. Darling then hooks in the Crippler Crossface. Pasch looks for help…it’s not coming as Walker has tripped up Malibu Dusty headed to the ring…and taps out at 22:14.

The rumors that Rick Perry (R-TX) would jump into the PCW CEO race went white hot this week with the announcement that Perry would formally enter the race in South Carolina. Des Moines’s Wells Fargo Arena was buzzing already when Texas Jack (R) walked out for his match against Green World Order member GreenPete (D) with Perry in tow.

Texas Jack (R) w/Rick Perry (R-TX) def. GreenPete of the Green World Order (D) w/’Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee (D), PeaceNick (D), and Peta from PETA (D)
GreenPete comes back with a knee but Rick Perry points out to the referee the loaded pad. The referee makes GreenPete take it off. Texas Jack with a missile dropkick off the top. He rolls GreenPete up for 2. Texas Jack grapevines the arm and switches to the armbar and GreenPete taps at 20:06

PCW will have coverage of Perry’s announcement Monday night on PCW Extreme Political TV.

Tonight’s PCW house show in Ames, Iowa will feature a main event 8 man battle royal to test the strength of eight people who’ve declared for the Republican nomination to become PCW CEO.

Here’s the lineup:

’Pizza Delivery Guy’ Josh Jackson- representing Herman Cain
’American Citizen’ Kevin Scott- representing Mitt Romney
Jack Schmidt- representing Ron Paul
Farmer John- representing Tim Pawlenty
Dann Armey- representing Rick Santorum
Average Joe- representing Michele Bachmann
Brad Company- representing Newt Gingrich
Jamie Walker- representing Jon Huntsman

This and other results tonight will be shown Monday night on PCW Extreme Political TV.

————–

PCW WORLD CHAMPION: ‘The Japanese SuperDestroyer’ Yamamoto Tanaka (D)
PCW WOMEN’S CHAMPION: Callie Urban
PCW TELEVISION CHAMPION: Daniel-San (I)
PCW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: Jack and Joe Schmidt (R-Libertarian)

SINGLES CONTENDERS:
#1- Charlie Blackwell (I)
#2- ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott (R)
#3- ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D)

TAG TEAM CONTENDERS:
#1- California Teachers Union: ‘The Foul Pole’ Andy Golatta/Malibu Dusty (D)
#2- Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit (R)
#3- Big Labor/Triple R (D)

WOMEN’S CONTENDERS:
#1- Katie Collins (R)
#2- Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen (R)
#3- Valora Salinas

PCW KING OF EXTREME CHAMPION: Keith Olbermann (D)
#1- Glenn Beck (R)
#2- ‘The Queen of Political Extreme’ Ann Coulter (R)
#3- Ed Schultz (D)



Thursday, August 11, 2011

Wisconsin Recall Review; PCW Politics Is War on P-SPAN






PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN (2 hrs)

Wells Fargo Arena

Des Moines, IA

Thursday August 11th, 2011
Host: Johnny Suave

Suave starts off with reviewing the Wisconsin house show Tuesday night.  The big storyline is the ongoing battle between Big Unions vs. Wisconsin’s Scott Walker (R-WI).   Suave goes through the first five matches…

WISCONSIN RECALL RECAP

Robert Cowles (R) vs. Nancy Nusbaum (D)
…Cowles persists on offense and hits a flying bodypress for a close near-fall.  He locks in the figure-four and uses the ropes for leverage while the referee counts Nusbaum’s shoulders down.  Cowles gets the win at 3:35

Sheila Harsdorf (R)  vs. Shelly Moore (D)
…After some counters, Moore gets a couple of Japanese arm drags and goes to the armbar. Harsdorf rolls through to a neck bridge.  She kicks Moore off and comes back with a headlock takedown.  Reverse by Moore who switches to a headscissors.  But Harsdorf rolls her over and hooks in the Texas Cloverleaf.  Moore taps out at 4:41

That’s Republicans 2, Democrats 0


Luther Olson (R) vs. Fred Clark (D)
The first competitive match of the night.  Democrats Big Labor, The California Teacher’s Union: ‘Foul Pole’ Andy Golatta and Malibu Dusty, and Triple R arrive ringside and immediately make an impact.  Olson gets tossed from the ring and the Democrats pounce.

…Clark with a nice inverted rana for 2.  Olson with a splash off the top and rolls Clark up for 2.  They exchange forearms and go through some counters until Big Labor pulls Olson to the floor. “Can You Hear the People Sing” plays and out comes Charlie Blackwell and his Les Miserables.  Blackwell jumps into the ring and climbs the corner turnbuckle.  he dives and his Big Labor with a crossbody off the top.  The Les Miserables swarm all over Triple R, Golatta, and Malibu Dusty while Blackwell and Big Labor slug it out.  Olson rolls Clark back into the ring and rolls him up for 2.  Olson tries a neckbridge.  Clark elbows him down.  Olson snaps off a DDT for the 3 to win at 12:30.

Republicans 3, Democrats 0

Randy Hopper (R) vs. Jessica King (D)
Incensed over losing the Olson-Clark match, Big Labor and his friends interject themselves into this match from the get-go.  Every time Hopper starts building momentum, Big Labor et al interferes and swings it back to King.  When Independent Blackwell and his forces tried to help Hopper, the referee turned his back on the match and tried to get them out of the ring.  This also helped Big Labor and company get some extra shots in.

…They crawl to the apron and Hopper shoves King into the ringpost.  He then clotheslines her through a ringside table. Crowd didn’t exactly pop big for that.  Hopper taunts and gets booed.  Big Labor and Triple R pull King out of the ruins of the table.  Back in, Hopper with another clothesline and covers.  The crowd goes nuts when Hopper’s 26 year old Capitol Staffer mistress shows up on the apron and distracts Hopper.  Big Labor in the ring…SCABBUSTER!  King rolls over and covers…1…2…3.  King wins in 14:19.

Republicans 3, Democrats 1


Dan Kapanke (R) vs. Jennifer Shilling (D)
…Kapanke goes to the ab stretch.  He rolls Shilling up for 2 and then knocks Big Labor off the apron.  Shilling whips Kapanke into a missile dropkick from Triple R for 2.  Shilling hits a dropkick for 2.  Kapanke tries to end it and goes to the sleeper.  Shilling fights it and ‘Foul Pole’ Andy Golatta drops Kapanke with the Foul Pole.  Shilling gets a knee and a bulldog and  an elbow drop off the top.  Blackwell starts into the ring but gets intercepted by Triple R.
Shilling covers…1…2…3.  Shilling takes it at 5:03.

Republicans 3, Democrats 2

COMMERCIAL

Suave comes back and introduces the deciding match from Tuesday night’s show.


MATCH #1- From Madison, WI Tuesday night
Alberta Darling (R) vs.  Sandra Pasch (D)
Winner takes all.  Pasch took the initiative early on and took it right to Darling.  Big Labor et al got in a couple cheap shots along the way.  Blackwell and his Les Miserables bided their time and waited for the right time to strike.

…Pasch tries to bully Darling.  She no sells a couple of shoulderblocks.  They do some more counters and Darling tries a couple of smacks that Pasch no sells.  Darling takes a time out and walks around the ring.  She confers with Scott Walker (R-WI) and no one sees the six foot Demolition Machine in a short skirt Dawn McGill run to the ring.  She avoids getting tripped up by Triple R and delivers a Scorpion Death Drop to Pasch.

After McGill’s interference and with Walker in her corner, Darling took control of the match.

…McGill, Blackwell, and the Les Miserables brawl around the ring with Big Labor, the CTU, and Triple R.
Inside the ring, Darling hits a Blue Thunder Bomb for 2.  She lifts Pasch up into a Fireman’s Carry.  Pasch elbows out but Darling comes back with chops and then hits the Fireman’s Carry Gutbuster for 2.  Darling then hooks in the Crippler Crossface.  Pasch looks for help…it’s not coming as Walker has tripped up Malibu Dusty headed to the ring…and taps out at 22:14.

Republicans win 4-2.

Darling and the rest of the Republicans celebrate with Scott Walker.

COMMERCIAL

The crowd roars when Texas Jack (R) walks to the ring with Rick Perry (R-TX).  Suave announces that Perry will throw his hat into the ring for PCW CEO on Saturday in South Carolina.


MATCH #2
Texas Jack (R) w/Rick Perry (R-TX) vs. GreenPete of the Green World Order (D) w/’Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee (D), PeaceNick (D), and Peta from PETA
(D)
This was a wild one.  Texas Jack and GreenPete take the brawl outside the ring and into the crowd.  Brock Cole Lee tries to get in on the action but can’t make it through the people to get to Texas Jack.

…Texas Jack runs down the aisle and gives him a soccer kick.  He whips GreenPete into a wall.  GreenPete tries doing it to him but Texas Jack reverses and sends him into the wall a second time.  Brock Cole Lee tries attacking from behind and that distracts Texas Jack enough so GreenPete can boot him from behind.  Lee with the blatant choke…or arti-choke…  Lee: “HOW’S THAT YOU MEAT-EATING BITCH!?”…

COMMERCIAL

Both back in the ring.

…Texas Jack gets the boot up in the corner.  He hits the Roaring Boot for 2.  Texas Jack with the piledriver and the cover for 2.  Peta from PETA throws GreenPete a loaded pad.  Texas Jack backslides him for 2 to cut off.  GreenPete comes back with a knee but Rick Perry points out to the referee the loaded pad.   The referee makes GreenPete take it off.  Texas Jack with a missile dropkick off the top.  He rolls GreenPete up for 2. Texas Jack grapevines the arm and switches to the armbar and GreenPete taps at 20:06

COMMERCIAL


BACKSTAGE
Triple R (D) complains to Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) that PCW Champion Yamamoto Tanaka (D) should have been in Madison Tuesday night to help Big Labor and the CTU take down Scott Walker (R-WI).  Triple R wants Tanaka to take a more active role or else he wants Tanaka’s title.  Pelosi tries to calm him down.


PCW-Ames, Iowa Saturday Night Preview
A big night of political wrestling this Saturday night and the first big test for the prospective Republican candidates for PCW CEO.  Here’s the line up for the Main Event Battle Royal.


’Pizza Delivery Guy’ Josh Jackson- representing Herman Cain

’American Citizen’ Kevin Scott- representing Mitt Romney

Jack Schmidt- representing Ron Paul

Farmer John- representing Tim Pawlenty
Dann Armey- representing Rick Santorum
Average Joe- representing Michele Bachmann
Brad Company- representing Newt Gingrich
Jamie Walker- representing Jon Huntsman
Suave: “We will have the match next Monday night on PCW Extreme Political TV.

Video Package: Last week’s match between Valora Salinas and Katie Collins of the Triple Threat.  Collins gets help from ‘Texas Cowgirl’ Haley Dallas and Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen to get the win over Salinas.


MATCH #3- PCW WOMEN’S TITLE MATCH

Callie Urban (c) vs. Katie Collins of the Triple Threat (R) w/’Texas Cowgirl’ Haley Dallas and Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen
This is Urban’s second title defense (counting the defense against Jackie Daniels in MVW).  She’s also being heavily courted by both the Republicans and Democrats.  Collins is a two time PCW Women’s champion.

…Collins gets frustrated and decimates Urban with five chairshots!  Johnny Suave puts it succinctly- so much for Missouri Valley Wrestling rules!  Collins tries for a running clothesline, but Urban gets the chair and slams it into Collins’s face!  Collins gets crotched on the barricade and Urban spikes her with a Sleeping Dragon, a standing Shiranui DDT!  Urban covers…Haley Dallas makes the save…

COMMERCIAL

…a corkscrew legdrop gets two for Urban.  Again, Collins fights back with an inverted atomic drop and a DDT.  Collins goes for the pin but all hell breaks loose outside the ring.

Valora Salinas stands over both Haley Dallas and Kalee Jones with a lead pipe in her hand that’s rendered both women helpless on the floor.  Collins walks over and leans on the top rope.  She and Valora jaw back and forth.  Quick roll up from behind by Urban and she covers for two.  Valora throws a chair into the ring, and Urban connects with a roundhouse kick/Van Daminator!  Collins out.  Urban covers.  One, two, three!  Urban wins at 12:40.

Valora turns to Urban and points to her.  Then she points to herself.  Urban nods and holds up the PCW Women’s Title belt.  Valora also nods.  Both women then leave the ring.

Suave: “You know both Valora and Callie Urban are going to meet again…but when?

Replay: Al Gore’s (D-TN) attack on ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott (R) after PCW Extreme Political TV ended.


Al Gore Promo
Gore calls what happened to Kevin Scott Monday night a warning to everyone, not just in PCW, but all over the country that they must take Global Warming seriously.  Gore raises his Singapore Cane and says if that means ‘knocking’ some sense into the disbelievers then so be it.

Kevin Scott appears on screen.  Scott wants to know if this room looks…familiar.  Gore appears shocked.  That’s because Scott’s inside Gore’s den at his palatial mansion in Nashville, Tennessee.  Scott says the amount of electricity Gore uses to run his mansion would power 22 regular sized houses.  Scott’s on the move now and leaves the mansion.  He calls that ‘not being environmentally friendly.’   Scott now reaches the outer reaches of Gore’s property and turns to the mansion.  He holds up a remote control and presses the button.  The mansion explodes.  Gore is at first horrified…then angry.

Scott says Gore should thank him because he  just reduced his carbon footprint to zero tonight.


O’Beck Bahama (D) Segment
Replay: O’Beck Bahama’s return to PCW and his quick defeat of Ken Kendall (I) Monday night.

Suave talks to Bahama after the match and asks him how he feels.  Bahama says he feels fine and it’s nice to be back.


MATCH #4

Massachusetts Bluebloods: Jay F. Kennedy (D) and Ray F. Kennedy (D) w/THE Massachusetts Blueblood John F. Kerry vs. The Bi-Partisan Dream Team: Blue Dog D (D) and RINO-The Wonk Machine (R)
…RFK hits a spear on Blue Dog D and JFK takes down RINO with an electric chair slam.  RINO blocks a dive from RFK and the Bi-Partisan Dream Team hit a doomsday device into the floor.  All four men down.  JFK and RINO back in the ring.  RINO connects with a discus lariat on JFK.  JFK gets sent to the ropes and  catches RINO with a DDT on the return.  JFK with a bicycle knee strike on RINO.  JFK measures him…and hits the  superkick.  JFK makes the cover for the victory at 7:05.

COMMERCIAL


MAIN EVENT

Charlie Blackwell (I) w/his Les Miserables and Kenzie Blackwell vs. ‘The Self-Proclaimed Savior of the Middle Class’ Big Labor (D) w/Triple R (D) and the California Teacher’s Union (D)
This one doesn’t even get started.  Big Labor, Triple R, and the CTU, angry and still smarting from the defeat in Wisconsin Tuesday night, attack during the ring introductions.   Blackwell has no chance and gets overwhelmed with superior force early on.

Then ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido, PCW Television Champion Daniel-San, along with the Tea Party (Average Joe, NRA, and ‘Tin Cup’ Ray McAvay) race down to make the save and that’s where the show ends.

PCW-Ames, Iowa Saturday Night Preview
The first big test for the prospective Republican candidates for PCW CEO.  Here’s the line up for the Main Event Battle Royal.


’Pizza Delivery Guy’ Josh Jackson- representing Herman Cain

’American Citizen’ Kevin Scott- representing Mitt Romney

Jack Schmidt- representing Ron Paul

Farmer John- representing Tim Pawlenty
Dann Armey- representing Rick Santorum
Average Joe- representing Michele Bachmann
Brad Company- representing Newt Gingrich
Jamie Walker- representing Jon Huntsman
Suave: “Next Monday night on PCW Extreme Political TV.