Sunday, July 31, 2011

7/31-PCW Week In Review

The return of the PCW is Political War show and the women's division highlighted the week in Political Championship Wrestling.

As the strife continued between Republicans and Democrats over settling the debt issue and both sides vetoed the other's proposals to forge a compromise solution, PCW returned to the old ECW Arena in Philadelphia Monday night for PCW Extreme Political TV.

Johnny Suave announced the return of the PCW Women's division and that the Women's champion is Callie Urban.

Texas Jack (R) w/Rick Perry (R-TX) defeated 'Bureaucrat' Jordan Metzger (D). Post match, Perry was non-committal about jumping into the PCW CEO race.

Suave opines that it's going to take one hell of a prayer for the debt issue to get resolved.


Glenn Beck makes some stupid comment on the radio about the Norway shooting and gets choke-slammed by the Extreme Equalizer Whiskey Tango Foxtrot.

Tim Pawlenty and Michele Bachmann continue their feud. The Tea Party's Average Joe defeats Pawlenty's wrestler Farmer John making him 0-2 against Bachmann.

Triple R (D) defeats Independent Charlie Blackwell in the main event.

Thursday night saw the return of PCW Politics is War...

Independent Charlie Blackwell, backed by his wife Kenzie and 'No Frills' Chris Escondido, lays into both Republicans and Democrats for 'not doing their jobs' in resolving the PCW debt crisis. Triple R (D) comes out and rips the Republicans and Independents. Suave announces that the main event will be a six man tag team match between: Triple R, Big Labor, and ‘the One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D) vs. Charlie Blackwell, ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido, and PCW Television Champion Daniel-San (I)

Blue Dog D (D) w/Joe Manchin (D-WV) defeats Nick Ray (R) w/Paul Ryan (R-WI) and Kevin Collins (R) when Blue Dog D hits the Bi-Partisan Bomb on Ray.

Suave welcomes PCW Women’s Champion Callie Urban to PCW and asks a few questions about her. PCW King of Extreme Champion Keith Olbermann (D) interrupts and is offended that PCW is making such a big deal over the return of the PCW Women’s division. Olbermann wants to know where the love is for him. Olbermann's friends Shannyn Moore and Rachel Maddow both start chirping at the PCW Women’s champion and invite her to leave. Olbermann points to the back. Urban turns as if she’s going to just walk away. Then she whirls around and delivers a lethal spinning heel kick to Maddow that sends her careening to the floor.

Glenn Beck (R) runs in and decks Olbermann from behind. Glenn Beck (R) vs. PCW King of Extreme Champion Keith Olbermann (D) then takes place and goes to a no contest when everyone and their mother runs to the ring to interfere.

Sarah Palin (R) is talking to the freshman Republican members of the PCW Competition Committee...and she’s wearing her leather motorcycle jacket.

Corporate Might: Big Oil and “The Man with the Man Crush on ESPN’s Kirk Herbstreit” Kirk Walstreit (R) w/Texas Tex defeated The Bureaucrats: Jordan Metzger and Andy Riley (D) when Big Oil hits the Oklahoma Driller on Metzger and gets the pinfall.

CWC Promo highlighting the PCW Television Title Match that will take place at CWC's Golden Dreams Show this weekend. It'll be: Independent Daniel-San(c) defending the title against “The One Man Hollywood A-List” Stone Chism (D)

Backstage, Casey Anthony demanding 1.5 million dollars to appear in PCW from Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner.

In the ring, Bill Maher (D) welcomes the women back to PCW…well, at least the women who are Democrats. Maher says Independents and Republicans can go back to the brothels where they came from. The Triple Threat: Katie Collins, ‘Texas Cowgirl’ Haley Dallas, and Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen (R) walk out and Collins attacks. Dallas hits a lariat and then wraps a rope around Maher’s neck and starts choking him out. Code Pink (D) and Emily List (D) run down and Glitter Bombs Collins and Dallas in the eyes. The Eskimo Queen ducks the Glitter Bomb and Eskimo Piefaces Code Pink and Emily List.

Geithner pays the 1.5 million and Anthony is destroyed by the 'Queen of Extreme' Valora Salinas in less than a minute.

Triple R, ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism, and ‘The Self Described Savior of the Middle Class’ Big Labor (D) vs. Charlie Blackwell, ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido, and PCW Television Champion Daniel-San (I) go to a no contest due to interference.


Again, PCW Television Champion Daniel-San (I) meets former TV champion 'The One Man Hollywood A-List' Stone Chism tomorrow night at CWC's Golden Dream show.

Can the Republicans and Democrats come together to get a debt reduction plan passed? Check out PCW Extreme Political TV this Monday for more.

Finally, from last night's PCW House show...

...Fabio was indeed defeated by Old Spice Guy to remain the...Old Spice Guy.

PCW Rankings

PCW WORLD CHAMPION: ‘The Japanese SuperDestroyer’ Yamamoto Tanaka (D)
PCW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: Jack and Joe Schmidt (R-Libertarian)

#1- Charlie Blackwell (I)
#2- ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott (R)
#3- ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D)

#1- California Teachers Union: ‘The Foul Pole’ Andy Golatta/Malibu Dusty (D)
#2- Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit (R)
#3- Big Labor/Triple R (D)

#1- Katie Collins (R)
#2- Valora Salinas
#3- Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen (R)

#1- Glenn Beck (R)
#2- ‘The Queen of Political Extreme’ Ann Coulter (R)
#3- Ed Schultz (D)

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Republicans and Democrats and Tea Party- Oh, my!: PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN

PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN (2 hrs)

Bender Arena

Washington, D.C.

Thursday July 28th
Host: Johnny Suave

The return of PCW’s Politics is War hits the airwaves.  ‘The Voice of PCW’ Johnny Suave welcomes everyone to the show and get interrupted…

‘Do You Hear the People Sing?’ from the musical Les Miserables begins to play.

Do you hear the people sing?
Singing a song of angry men?
It is the music of a people
Who will not be slaves again!
When the beating of your heart
Echoes the beating of the drums
There is a life about to start
When tomorrow comes!

Independents Charlie and Kenzie Blackwell and  ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido walk out.  Blackwell has been involved in a feud with Triple R (D) over the past couple weeks.

With Kenzie and Escondido nodding in agreement behind him, Blackwell once again ripped both parties for not ‘doing their jobs’ on coming to an agreement on the PCW debt.  Blackwell says he went online to American Public Media: Budget Hero…

…and was able to reduce the national debt by half, shrink the percentage of debt to the GDP by over half, and shrink the size of government by 5% in 10 years.   Blackwell adds his budget balanced in 2016 and produced a 790B surplus by 2021.

Triple R (D) walks out and calls Blackwell naive.  “You an independent.  You’re afraid to take a stand.”  Blackwell retorts that there’s more than two answers to a question and more often than not both the Democrats and Republicans answers over the past twenty years have been wrong.   Triple R fires back that all the republicans are interested in is passing some asinine bill that Obama must veto so that they can put the blame on us.  It’s nothing more than a game to them.  Blackwell doesn’t defend the Republicans, but he tells Triple R it’s nothing more than a game to the Democrats as well.

Triple R charges forward and gets cut off by twenty-five of Blackwell’s Les Miserables.  Suave is handed a slip of paper by guest ring announcer Jamie Chung…

Jamie Chung

…Suave announces that tonight’s main event will be a six man tag team match between:
Triple R, Big Labor, and ‘the One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D) vs. Charlie Blackwell, ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido, and PCW Television Champion Daniel-San (I)

Match #1

Blue Dog D (D) w/Joe Manchin (D-WV)


Nick Ray (R) w/Paul Ryan (R-WI) and Kevin Collins (R)

Manchin gets on the microphone and declares that he is not supporting either the Republican or Democratic plan to raise the PCW debt ceiling.   “Things may be broken, but it will not break me.  And you should not let it break you, either,”

Ryan counsels Ray to ‘stay the course’ and Republican Leader John Boehner knows what he’s doing.
Blue Dog D hits the Bi-Partisan Bomb on Ray and gets the win at 7:02.


Back from break, Suave is in the ring with PCW Women’s Champion Callie Urban.  Suave welcomes Urban to PCW and asks a few questions about her.


Current TV and PCW King of Extreme Champion Keith Olbermann (D) comes out with his FOK buddies David Shuster (D), Shannyn Moore (D), and Rachel Maddow (D).  Olbermann is offended that PCW is making such a big deal over the return of the PCW Women’s division.  Olbermann wants to know where the love is for him.  Shuster, Moore, and Maddow all nod in agreement.  Olbermann says he is more important then the return of a minor title belt and says it’s all true because everything KO says is factually accurate.

Urban looks less than pleased and takes a step towards Olbermann.  Immediately, he pulls Shuster in front of him.  Moore and Maddow both start chirping at the PCW Women’s champion and invite her to leave.  Olbermann points to the back.

Urban turns as if she’s going to just walk away.   Then she whirls around and delivers a lethal spinning heel kick to Maddow that sends her careening to the floor.  Shuster looks like he’s about to crap.  Moore wisely just turns and runs for it.

From behind, Glenn Beck (R) runs in and decks Olbermann from behind.  Beck wails on Olbermann and takes him to the ring.  It’s an impromptu match- non-title.

Glenn Beck (R) vs. PCW King of Extreme Champion Keith Olbermann (D)
It doesn’t take long for this one to fall apart.  First, Beck channeled George ‘The Animal’ Steele and tore apart the covering over the steel turnbuckle.  Then it was the “Queen of Political Extreme” Ann Coulter running in to take a cheap shot at Olbermann.  That brought down Markos Moulitsas (D) and Michael Moore (D).  Rush Limbaugh (R) and Sean Hannity (R) joined in and then everyone streamed down to the ring.

No contest at 6:12


Sarah Palin is talking to the freshman Republican members of the PCW Competition Committee…

…and she’s wearing her leather motorcycle jacket.

Palin: “Today I re-read the open letter I wrote to Republican Freshman Members of in November 2010, just days after they were ushered into office in an historic landslide victory due in large part to the activism of commonsense patriots who are considered part of the Tea Party movement. I respectfully ask these GOP Freshman to re-read this letter and remember us ‘little people’ who believed in them, donated to their campaigns, spent hours tirelessly volunteering for them, and trusted them with our votes. This new wave of public servants may recall that they were sent to PCW for such a time as this.”

Suave: That’s interesting given what John McCain (R) said earlier tonight.

McCain: To hold out and say we won’t agree to raising the debt limit until we pass a Balanced Budget Amendment to the constitution. It’s unfair, it’s bizarre.  And maybe some people have only been in this body for six or seven months or so really believe that. Others know better.”

McCain quoted extensively from a Wall Street Journal op-edthat compared tea partyers to “hobbits.”


The Bureaucrats: Jordan Metzger and Andy Riley (D)


Corporate Might: Big Oil and “The Man with the Man Crush on ESPN’s Kirk Herbstreit” Kirk Walstreit (R) w/Texas Tex

Democrats Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid are ringside.  Republicans Mitch McConnell and John Boehner are also there.
Good back and forth match with plenty of interaction between Pelosi and Reid and McConnell and Boehner.  But the power of Corporate Might is too much for The Bureaucrats tonight.  Big Oil hits the Oklahoma Driller on Metzger and gets the pinfall @ 13:55

Post match, Tea Partiers Average Joe, NRA, and ‘Tin Cup’ Ray McAvay storm the ring and attack Metzger and Riley.  Rand Paul (R-KY) and Sharron Angle (R-NV) have microphones and respond directly to John McCain.

Paul deadpanned that he would “rather be a hobbit than a troll,” while 2010 PCW Executive Committee candidate Angle shot back that “it is the hobbits who are the heroes and save the land.”


Backstage, Casey Anthony is engaged in deep negotiation with PCW Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner.   She’s demanding 1.5 million dollars to appear in PCW.

Geithner is dithering back and forth whether to do it.

Bill Maher Promo
In the ring, Bill Maher has the microphone.  He welcomes the women back to PCW…well, at least the women who are Democrats.  Maher says Independents and Republicans can go back to the brothels where they came from.  He compares them to Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann, whom he calls dangerous nincompoops, a vainglorious braggarts, liars, whiners, professional victims, scolds, know-it-alls, chiselers, bullys who sells patriotism like pimps.
The Triple Threat: Katie Collins, ‘Texas Cowgirl’ Haley Dallas, and Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen (R) walk out.  Maher calls them scum-sucking Republican whores and Collins attacks.  Dallas hits a lariat and then wraps a rope around Maher’s neck and starts choking him out.

Code Pink (D) and Emily List (D) run down.  Collins and Dallas move to stop them and receive Glitter Bombs in their eyes.  Blinded, Collins and Dallas are helpless against the Code Pink/Emily List onslaught.  Meanwhile, Kalee Jones pick Maher up and gives him a nasty Eskimo Pieface, slamming him face first to the floor.

Pink and List go for Jones.  The Eskimo Queen ducks the Glitter Bomb and takes them down with a double clothesline.  Eskimo Pieface to Code Pink.  Eskimo Pieface to Emily List.

Johnny Suave: “At PCW’s Loose Cannons Unleashed 7 pay per view show, ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D), then the PCW Television champion, had a plan of action for his match against Herman Cain’s protegee ‘Pizza Delivery Guy’ Josh Jackson (R).”

Josh Jackson walks towards the ring with Cain and ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin.
PCW Tag Team Champions The California Teacher’s Union (Andy Golatta and Malibu Dusty) and Triple R and Big Labor (D) jump Jackson’s party backstage and deliver a beatdown.

Medical crews arrive and push Chism et al away from the scene.  Chism heads to the ring and prepares to declare himself the winner.

Chism has the microphone in hand and is booed.   Just as he begins to speak, the crowd roars and Daniel-San (I) with Mrs. Miyagi attack him from behind.   The referee then calls for the bell and Daniel-San puts him in the Cattle Mutilation.

Daniel-San’s tag team partner ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido (I) and still bleeding Jackson race to the ring to clear out the CTU and Triple R and Big Labor.

Without his help, Chism has no choice but to tap out and Daniel-San is declared the new PCW Television champion.

The next week, John Boehner (R) comes out and announces that Chism will get his rematch for the PCW Television Title on July 30th at the CWC’s Golden Dreams show.

Johnny Suave: “So here we are.  This weekend, ‘The One Man Hollywood A-Hole…I mean…A-List Stone Chism gets his return match against PCW Television Champion Daniel-San at CWC Golden Dreams.”

Casey Anthony vs. ???

Suave: So Timothy Geithner paid Anthony to be here.  Who will be her opponent tonight?

Valora Salinas


It takes an implant DDT, a tazzplex, and the tazzmission for Valora to win in 54 seconds.

Suave: You know, I might let Valora Salinas do that to me for 1.5 million dollars.



Triple R, ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism, and ‘The Self Described Savior of the Middle Class’ Big Labor (D)


Charlie Blackwell, ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido, and PCW Television Champion Daniel-San (I)

Triple R and Blackwell have been feuding.  Daniel-San and Stone Chism face off this weekend in a rematch for the TV title.   Escondido is a former PCW and PCW TV champion.

Match goes to a no contest as Blackwell and Triple R travel all over the arena beating the hell out of each other.  Chism spent the match running away from Daniel-San.  And Big Labor’s power vs. Chris Escondido’s saavy kept the crowd involved in the match.

No contest at 12:48

Monday, July 25, 2011

Obama and Boehner Discuss Debt Crisis: PCW Extreme Political TV

PCW Extreme Political TV

ECW Arena
Philadelphia, PA
Monday, July 25, 2011
Host: Johnny Suave
Last Night at Missouri Valley Wrestling’s MVWA 55:

CEO Jason Carmondy comes to the ring.  He thanks everyone for what has been a wonderful two year run.  Carmondy then makes this announcement:

“I am pleased to announce that Political Championship Wrestling has purchased the assets to Missouri Valley Wrestling.  The MVW title will become the PCW Women’s title once again.”

Suave confirms the announcement and the PCW Women’s title is going to return.  In the crowd tonight, is the reigning MVW, now PCW Women’s Champion, Callie Urban.

Suave expects both Democrats and Republicans to actively recruit Urban to their side.

Also on the docket tonight, PCW CEO Barack Obama (D) and Leader of the PCW Competition Committee John Boehner (R) will each give their thoughts about the PCW debt situation.

*flute and clarinet flourish*
Two men come out and unroll a white carpet to the ring steps. Dancers then dance. Ballet dancers…ballet?  Little children walk up the white carpet and drop rose petals. Someone lets loose some pigeons…not sure just how they’ll get out of the building.  The crowd stands as PCW CEO Barack Obama appears.  Behind Obama walks Joe Biden.

Obama and Biden climb into the ring and join Suave.

Suave asks Obama where the talks stand.  “We’re left with a stalemate.”  Obama added that the country needs a renewed push for his “shared sacrifice” plan of increased taxes on the richer members of PCW.   Suave asked about Boehner’s plan.  Obama remains opposed to Boehner’s approach for “kicking the can down the road” in terms of setting the proper fiscal course.  “We need to find common ground, quickly.”

Texas Jack (R) w/Rick Perry (R-TX) vs. ‘Bureaucrat’ Jordan Metzger (D)
…Metzger avoids a lariat and hits a nice spinebuster on Texas Jack for two.  Metzger goes for an inverted DDT but Texas Jack knees him in the head and rolls him up.  Back up, Metzger runs into a big boot in the corner.  Texas Jack applies a guillotine choke and Metzger submits.

WINNER: Texas Jack (R)

Post match, Suave shouts out to Rick Perry and asks him if he’s running for PCW CEO.  Perry once again doesn’t answer the call.

Both John Boehner (R) and Harry Reid (D) are sequestered inside a room, trying to work out a compromise on the PCW debt crisis.

Suave thinks we need a helluva prayer to get this done…

Glenn Beck Segment
Beck is in the ring to explain his recent comments on the radio about the Norway shootings.

Beck on the radio:

As the thing started to unfold and there was a shooting at a political camp, which sounds a little like the Hitler Youth,” he said. “Who does a camp for kids that’s all about politics? Disturbing.
Beck said he predicted that a event such as the shooting could take place last Fall.  Then…

Def Leppard’s ‘Tear It Down’ begins.

You got the look of a howlin’ wolf
I like it
The kind of eyes that could start a fire
Yes, I like it


A streetwise dynamo
I switch you on and I watch you go
A thrill to touch, you’re so hot
I’m coming for you ready or not

I’m gettin’ ready
Livin’ on the edge of a dream
Gettin’ ready, I’m gettin’ ready
Oh, switch on your lovin’ machine

Crowd: What the #$##!  What the #$##!

Tear it down
There’s got to be a better way
Tear it down
I can’t wait another day

Beck tries to escape.  The Extreme Equalizer pulls him back in the ring.  Then WTF delivers a powerbomb and flips him off.

Tear it down
There’s got to be a better way
Tear it down
If only you could stay
All night long

New England Patriot owner Bob Kraft joins Suave at the broadcast table.  Suave asks him about the PCW debt crisis.  Kraft tells Boehner and Reid to get their act together.  If the NFL Owners and NFLPA can overcome their differences for the greater good, why can’t the Republicans and Democrats?

Suave: “Good point.”

Tim Pawlenty Promo (R-MN)
Pawlenty terms Michele Bachmann’s CEO qualifications as ‘speech capabilities.’  Pawlenty touts his executive experience and scoring conservative victories while Bachmann just gave speeches and offered failed amendments to bills.   “She gets migraine headaches for Pete’s sake,” Pawlenty says.  He states that a CEO has to do the job every day, all the time, without fail.

Michele Bachmann Promo (R-MN)
Bachmann says that Pawlenty’s policy positions aren’t much different from Barack Obama’s.  “Executive experience is not an asset if it simply means bigger and more intrusive government,” she responds.  She accuses Pawlenty of leaving a multi-million dollar mess in Minnesota and supporting cap and trade policies.

Farmer John (R) w/Tim Pawlenty (R-MN) vs. Average Joe (Tea Party) w/Michele Bachmann (R-MN)
Suave: “This is going to be a war.”  And it is.

…Bachmann in and hits Farmer John with a chair.  Then she throws the chair at Farmer John and runs for it.  Average Joe lifts him up and hits an Average Slam.   He goes for the cover but Pawlenty in and pulls Average Joe off.  Average Joe traps Pawlenty in the corner, Farmer John pulls himself up and goes to the top, but Bachmann runs over and hits him with a Singapore cane.   Bachmann sets up a table in the corner.  Average Joe throws Farmer John into the table.  Piledriver by Average Joe on the chair, and Average Joe wins.

WINNER: Average Joe (Tea Party)

Pawlenty is livid after the match and stalks his way to the back.

Leader of the PCW Competition Committee, John Boehner, walks out to discuss the PCW debt crisis…

“Before I served in PCW, I ran a small business in Ohio. I was amazed at how different PCW operated than every business in America. Where most American businesses make the hard choices to pay their bills and live within their means, in PCW more spending and more debt is business as usual.

“And over the last six months, we’ve done our best to convince Mr. Obama to partner with us to do something dramatic to change the fiscal trajectory of PCW. . .something that will boost confidence and help us get back on track.

Last week, we passed such a plan, and with bipartisan support. It’s called the ‘Cut, Cap, and Balance’ Act. It CUTS and CAPS spending and paves the way for a Balanced Budget Amendment to the Constitution, which we believe is the best way to stop spending money we don’t have. Before we even passed the bill, the CEO said he would veto it.

“I want you to know I made a sincere effort to work with Mr. Obama to identify a path forward that would implement the principles of Cut, Cap, & Balance in a manner that could secure bipartisan support and be signed into law. I gave it my all.”

Suave: “And meanwhile, the clock keeps ticking and ticking…

Charlie Blackwell (AmHeart) w/Kenzie Blackwell and his Les Miserables vs. Triple R (D) w/Big Labor Another pier six brawl that goes all over the ECW Arena, much to the delight of the crowd.

…both climb to Johnny Suave’s broadcast booth.  Triple R canes Blackwell and Blackwell is dangling off the balcony with one hand.  Triple R canes him again and Blackwell falls to the floor.  He is busted open.  Blackwell’s Les Miserables prevent Big Labor from taking cheap shots at Blackwell.  Back to ringside and both roll into the ring.  Blackwell and Triple R trade chops, punches, and more chops.  Triple R sets up the ladder in the corner and sends Blackwell into the ladder.  Triple R hits the splash on the ladder and covers Blackwell for the win.

WINNER: Triple R (D)

Suave reminds everyone to tune in to PCW’s Politics is War this Thursday night on P-SPAN, the political channel.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Blackwell Rips Warring Parties at PCW House Show

PCW House Show

Richmond Coliseum

Richmond, Virginia
Wednesday July 20th, 2011

MATCH #1 Magnum PO’d (R) w/ Robyn Masters def. GreenPete w/ the Green World Order (D)
- after Magnum PO’d dominated the first half of the match, the Green World Order (‘Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee, Peta from PETA, and PeaceNick)  ganged up on Magnum, and spent most of the match weakening him down.  Eventually, Robyn Masters came in and cleaned house, and Magnum hit his finisher on one for the win.
After the match, Peta from PETA, already agitated about GreenPete losing the previous match, gets on the microphone to denounce former WWE wrestler Shawn Michaels’s new Outdoor Channel Show “Shawn Michaels MacMillan River Adventures.”

Peta said in response to the show: “Jeffrey Dahmer ate everything he killed, too, but that didn’t justify taking innocent lives.”

Michaels stuns onlookers by coming out and then referee shows up in the ring?

MATCH #2 Shawn Michaels vs. Peta from PETA w/the Green World Order
um…Peta rushes forward…Sweet Chin Music by Michaels.  Michaels covers.  Match is over.
Fresh off winning the PCW King of Extreme title, Keith Olbermann walks out holding the belt up high along with his FOK buddies David Shuster, Shannyn Moore, and Andrea Mitchell.  Olbermann gloats about the party that Al Gore (D) threw for himself and his friends afterwards.   Olbermann says the party tonight is in celebration of “me”  as the world champion.

Then “Do You Hear the People Sing?” from the Les Miserables soundtrack interrupts Olbermann and out comes Charlie Blackwell (American Heartland) followed by 25 of his Les Miserables.  Blackwell reiterates that no one is bigger than PCW, including Keith Olbermann’s big fat ego.  There’s a Charlie Blackwell chant.  Blackwell talks about how the current PCW budget impasse shouldn’t be about ego and party.  He denounces the rich fat cats in both parties more concerned about protecting their seat and placating special interest groups than making the hard decisions that need to be made.

Olbermann is, predictably, quite irate with Blackwell’s interruption and taunts him with ‘at least I have a nightly cable TV show.  How about you?’  Blackwell retorts that he could put together a show with wrestling finger puppets and pull the same rating Olbermann pulls at Current TV.

Blackwell then gets jumped by Triple R (D) and ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D) and then the Les Miserables get involved creating quite the scrum.

In the aftermath, guest ring announcer Jamie Chung announces that tonight’s main event will be Charlie Blackwell vs. Triple R.

MATCH #3 Joe Walsh (R-IL) vs. ‘Hardball’ Chris Matthews (D)
- Walsh and Matthews have huge issues with each other after Walsh’s contentious appearance on Matthews’s show.  Matthews goes for the Biovator but Walsh blocks it and connects with the Freshmen Flush to get the win.
Backstage, Olbermann threatens Blackwell for attacking him and Triple R says he’s leaving on a stretcher.  Triple R says he has a lot of aces in the hole, such as the ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism and his valets, The Skanky Rich Bimbos (Kim, Courtney, and Chloe).

MATCH #4 The California Teacher’s Union (D) (“Foul Pole” Andy Golatta and Malibu Dusty) w/pet Governor Jerry Brown (D-CA) vs. Rough Justice (R) (D.B. Ruff and Connor Justice- two former police officers fired because of their extreme brand of law enforcement)
-The CTU is trying to angle themselves back into the Tag Team title picture.  Rough Justice is better known for being hired muscle or enforcers than for their wrestling.  Rough Justice puts up a valiant fight but Andy Golatta’s ‘Foul Pole’ low blows turn the tide.  Malibu Dusty gets the pin for the CTU with a simple roll up of Ruff.
In the lobby, there’s a pie throwing boot.  People are lined up and down the lobby waiting for their shot.  A woman, face covered in white Kool-Whip, leaves the the back of the booth.
Rupert Murdoch walks in.  “Where do I stand?”

MATCH #5 Average Joe (Tea Party) w/Michele Bachmann vs. James the Jeep Worker (D) w/ Big Labor and the CTU
- Average Joe tries to bring the Tea Party a win over Democrat James the Jeep Worker.  The match was just there at first until Bachmann came down with a migraine headache.  Big Labor and the California Teacher’s Union then interfere and help James the Jeep Worker get over.

Backstage, PCW CEO Barack Obama, with PCW Champion Yamamoto Tanaka beside him, is talking with the ‘Gang of Six.’   Then he walks to the podium.

Obama: We now are seeing the potential for a bipartisan consensus.  The proposal by the Gang of Six  is “broadly consistent” with what I have sought.”

Eric Cantor, The Tea Party, and Grover Norquist: “NO NEW TAXES!”

Nancy Pelosi, AFL/CIO President Richard Trumka, and Bernie Sanders: “NO CUTS IN ENTITLEMENTS.

Obama: This proposal from the bipartisan group is “good news” in the ongoing showdown over the debt limit, and may signal a path to compromise and “a very significant step forward.”

Eric Cantor, The Tea Party, and Grover Norquist: “NO NEW TAXES!”

Nancy Pelosi, AFL/CIO President Richard Trumka, and Bernie Sanders: “NO CUTS IN ENTITLEMENTS.

Obama: We’re in the 11th hour and we don’t have a lot of time left.  My team will study the plan and I would urge congressional leaders to start negotiating based on its framework.

Eric Cantor, The Tea Party, and Grover Norquist: “NO NEW TAXES!”

Nancy Pelosi, AFL/CIO President Richard Trumka, and Bernie Sanders: “NO CUTS IN ENTITLEMENTS.

MATCH #6 PCW Tag Team Champions The Schmidt Brothers (Jack and Joe) (R) w/Ron Paul and Jim Schmidt vs. The Bureaucrats (Jordan Metzger and Andy Riley) (D)
- It was what it was. The Schmidts easily handled their opponents early on.  Then Metzger and Riley rallied for a bit before Jack came in and cleaned house.  Stereo Schmidt-Bricks ended it.
Post match, the Schmidt’s Extreme German Schnauzer Hans Gruber chase The Bureaucrats to the back.

MAIN EVENT: Charlie Blackwell (AmHeart) w/Kenzie Blackwell and his Les Miserables vs. Triple R (D) w/Big Labor
- wild brawl that went all over the arena.
- Bill Maher and Ed Schultz came out and started taunting and saying derogatory things about Kenzie Blackwell.   “The Queen of Political Extreme” Ann Coulter raced down and delivered a double clothesline to Maher and Schultz.
- then the Angry Left Wing Bloggers (Markos Moutilsas, Arianna Huffington, Eric Boehlert of Media Matters, and Katrina Vanden Heuvel of the Nation intervene.
- this brings down the Right Wing Brigadiers (Michelle Malkin, Laura Ingraham, Glenn Beck, and Rush Limbaugh) and the match breaks down from there.

Monday, July 18, 2011

Keith Olbermann Wins King of Extreme Title: 7/18-PCW Extreme Political TV

 PCW Extreme Political TV Results

Midway Middle School Auditorium
Midway, GA
Monday July 18th, 2011
Host: Johnny Suave

Suave welcomed everyone to this week’s edition of PCW Extreme Political TV and was immediately joined by Midway’s police chief Kelly Morningstar.

Chief Morningstar welcomes PCW to Midway, Georgia and then wants to know why three kids are selling lemonade in the lobby.  Suave reaches into his pocket and produces a one day permit and the crowd cheers.  Then someone grabs a microphone.

Man: “Rafe Semmes, Midway, Georgia.  I was absolutely astounded to learn the Midway Police Department felt it necessary to enforce an ordinance by shutting down a girl’s lemonade stand on private property because she didn’t have the proper permits.   Has the whole world gone mad? Or is this just a money grab?  Sounds like the latter to me.   For children, lemonade stands are a time-honored method of earning money. I did it when I was a kid growing up in Savannah.  What’s the harm in a child doing this?  Have we gone so politically correct that common sense flies out the window? This is simply ludicrous! Shame on whoever made the judgment call that the lemonade was a threat because they did not know what was in it.   This is what happens when “PC” takes over common sense and reality goes out the window.”

Chief Morningstar again repeats that the girls didn’t have a business license or the required permits and police could not determine how the lemonade was made, who made the lemonade, of what the lemonade was made with.  The crowd boos in response.

Man #2: “Scott Brown, Atlanta, GA.  If we have a law, it must be followed and/or enforced.  We cannot pick and choose what is enforced and what we ignore. So, do not blame Chief Morningstar or the Midway Police Department for the incident with the lemonade stand. The law is the law and they were only doing their jobs by enforcing it. For laws to work, officials can’t pick and choose which ones to enforce. Unfortunately, that sometimes means allowing logic to prevail over emotion. It’s just not OK for some laws to be broken.  If you don’t like a law, pressure your officials to change it.  The girls unknowingly were in violation of the law.  Ignorance of the law does not constitute an excuse for not following it. Second, who knows if that lemonade was made using sanitary procedures? If the lemonade had made people ill or killed someone, would we be as outraged that the police shut it down? The police were absolutely correct in shutting it down. It was a violation of the law and quite possibly posed a health hazard.

“Yes, I feel a bit sorry for the girls — I had a lemonade stand as a kid, too — but this is a good lesson. What are we teaching kids when we report that what the police did was wrong and that we should feel sorry for the girls whose lemonade stand was shut down? We’re teaching them that it’s OK to violate the law as long as it’s convenient and profitable to do so. That’s not the right way to teach a child. The law is the law and you cannot selectively enforce it. Period.   To anyone else offended by the officer’s actions, get over it. We cannot turn those charged with enforcing the law into bad guys. They didn’t make the laws, so it’s unfair to blame them for something you feel may be wrong.”

Brown’s remarks also elicit boos.  Suave says this is a issue of using ‘common sense.’

Suave: “I don’t know what’s more ridiculous.  The war on lemonade stands all over the country or this whole Carmageddon thing that was supposed to bring LA to its knees over the weekend.”

Match #1  Triple R (D) w/ Code Pink and Emily List defeats ‘Tin Cup’ Ray McAvay (Tea Party)
- Triple R still lusts of being the PCW champion.  McAvay tries to win one for the Tea Party.  Unfortunately, McAvay goes Phil Mickelson in the final round of the British Open.  After Triple R dominates early.  McAvay makes an incredible comeback and looks to be on the verge of winning but his overaggressiveness pisses it away at the end.

Rick Perry Visits EA Sports
On a jumbo screen inside the offices of a division of EA Sports, a scene from one of the company’s popular college football video game was playing out, featuring Perry as quarterback for his alma-mater, Texas A&M.

In the scene, Perry throws a touchdown before a stadium full of cheering fans.

As Perry left the room, a reporter shouted, “hey Rick, are you in the game?”

It was a reference to EA’s catch-phrase “if it’s in the game, it’s in the game.”

Perry did not respond and hustled off the stage.

Suave: The big question is ‘will Perry answer the call?’  Let’s find out.

Suave pulls out his cell phone and dials…and waits…and waits…and waits…

Match #2 (Taped at an Idaho bar) Marlon Baker defeats Daren Abbey
- it all began when 28-year-old white supremacist Daren Abbey began threatening Marlon Baker and threatened to stab him because “blacks are not welcome.”   Baker, wearing a t-shirt that said “Spokane Boxing Club champion,” knocked Abbey unconscious with one punch.

Ron Paul Promo
Ron Paul announces that this is his final trip around the political merry-go-round.  Either he will become the next PCW CEO or he will retire from political wrestling.

This brings out the PCW Tag Team Champions- Jack and Joe Schmidt along with Jim Schmidt.  Jim walks out with the Extreme German Schnauzer Hans Gruber.

Jack is disappointed that Ron Paul is going to retire next year if he doesn’t win the PCW CEO race.  But what he’s NOT disappointed about is the new Harry Potter movie.  Jack raves about Alan Rickman’s ‘brilliant’ performance as Professor Snape in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows- Part 2.

Joe admits that he cried during the part where Snape reveals to Harry that he loved his mother.  He begins to break down again but Jack picks it up from there and reminds everyone that Rickman also played Hans Gruber in the first Die Hard movie- the name of their Extreme German Schnauzer.

Jack says that no matter what, the PCW Tag Team Title belts are home and will stay with the Schmidts even after Paul retires.

Suave Tries to Call Rick Perry Again...
Suave pulls out his cell phone and dials…and waits…and waits…and waits…

Match #3 for the King of Extreme Title
Rush Limbaugh
Sean Hannity
Ann Coulter
Markos Moutilsas
Arianna Huffington
‘Hardball’ Chris Matthews
Glenn Beck
Laura Ingraham
Bill O’Reilly
Alan Grayson
Rachel Maddow
Keith Olbermann

Suave: “Right now, they are loading up both Chambers of Extreme Doom.  Here’s the lineup for each Chamber…”

Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Ann Coulter
Markos Moutilsas, Arianna Huffington, ‘Hardball’ Chris Matthews

Glenn Beck, Laura Ingraham, Bill O’Reilly
Alan Grayson, Rachel Maddow, Keith Olbermann

[The bell sounds.]

[Markos Moutilsas and Rush Limbaugh to start.  Moutilsas scores with some stiff kicks and a flying forearm on Limbaugh for 2. A dropkick gets 2 more on Limbaugh.  Moutilsas goes to the arm but gets caught with a kick to the gut and a knee to the head.  Moutilsas tries to mount a comeback but bites a big back elbow and a running foot to the chest. They each counter hip tosses onto the metal grating,  Moutilsas hits an head kick and gets a 2 count. Moutilsas’s whip is reversed but Limbaugh runs into a boot.  Moutilsas tries a sunset flip but Limbaugh drops down to counter. Again Moutilsas tries some kicks but he gets shoved into the side of Arianna Huffington’s pod. Uranage backbreaker by Limbaugh gets 2. The countdown stops and next man out is…Arianna Huffington! She gives a sinister smile and stares down Rush Limbaugh.  They face off while Moutilsas convalesces, and here come the fisticuffs!  Huffington gets the upper hand and nails the high knee. Knee drop by Huffington gets 2. Corner clothesline by Arianna, and she beats Limbaugh down. Another clothesline gets a 2 count. Moutilsas is still lounging around, while Limbaugh and Huffington each try and take each other to the chainlink.  Huffington elbows Limbaugh and clotheslines him back into the ring, but gets a boot to the face on a charge.  Limbaugh goes for a power bomb on the diminutive Huffington, Arianna gets out the back and hits a DDT for 2.  Moutilsas off the top with a crossbody to Limbaugh for 2!]

[It’s Alan Grayson and Glenn Beck to start.  Grayson takes Beck down with a shoulder then eats a leg lariat and gets 2.  Whip by Beck, Grayson avoids a couple of attacks and hits a leg lariat of his own for two.  He throws Beck onto the grating but Grayson gets a double-leg and CATAPULTS Beck into the chain! He takes Beck into a pod then goes up top…SOMERSAULT SENTON off the top into Beck!  Grayson whips Beck into the chain three times then rolls him back inside.   Beck looks as if he’s about to have a stroke.  Grayson misses a kick. Beck takes his up for the suplex!  Grayson out the back,  misses the corkscrew elbow and gets NAILED with a stiff kick and then the Vertical Conservative Press! 1…2…3!]

Glenn Beck eliminates Alan Grayson via pinfall

[10-spot punches in the corner by Limbaugh to Huffington and a flying clothesline. SLINGSHOT BOOM DROP to Huffington on the grating! Limbaugh blindsides her with a clothesline and rolls him back inside for a 2 count. Countdown is on…’Hardball’ Chris Matthews!  He clotheslines Limbaugh and stamps on him.   Limbaugh responds and levels Moutilsas with a European uppercut but then Matthews stamps on Limbaugh some more.  Kneedrop to the head of Limbaugh.  Cover on Limbaugh gets 2. Matthews sends Limbaugh to the grating and then throws him into the chainlink! Again! And again! Huffington comes over and she gets a hat tDan of chainlink!  Matthews stamps away at Limbaugh.  MOUTILSAS! He flies in and takes out all three! Matthews rolls inside, Moutilsas springboards INTO A DROPKICK BY RUSH LIMBAUGH!  1…2…no!]

Glenn Beck gets the mic and points to Keith Olbermann, telling him he better pray that his pod opens last because Beck is going to make him tap. He points to Rachel Maddow and says he will prove that her decadent lifestyle leads to no good. Then he wants us to feel the Glenn Beck flow through him.  Ew. The countdown is on…MADDOW!  She comes out with right hands and the springboard senton! Crossbody gets 2!  She rolls through a sunset flip and kicks Beck’s head to the 5th row! 1…2…no!  Drop toehold by Maddow.  No.  She’s not going to try the 619!  Here it comes…Maddow jumps through the second and top rope while holding on to the ropes, and uses the momentum to swing back around into the ring…and right into a POWERSLAM by Beck! 1…2…no!  He sets for the Vertical Conservative Press, REVERSED! Rana by Maddow! 1…2…no! Maddow goes on the attack on the grating, he tries the rana but Beck holds on! He swings Maddow into the chains HARD! And again! He throws him into the ring, cover! 1…2…no. Running high knee by Beck, he runs and LAUNCHES Maddow between the ropes and head-first into a pod!  1…2…2.809!  Beck perches Maddow up top and goes up with her, Maddow fights him off and Maddow is climbing the pod! Beck chases him and NO WAY! VERTICAL CONSERVATIVE PRESS from the top??!!! No, Maddow slides off. She kicks out the foot of Beck, crotching him, and goes up top…RANA to the steel! Springboard splash! 1…2…3!!!]

Rachel Maddow eliminates Glenn Beck via pinfall

[Limbaugh is up and he rams Matthews arm-first into the corner! Countdown! Sean Hannity!  He goes after everyone except Limbaugh, then stares him down in the corner. Matthews is slumped against the bottom turnbuckle.   Hannity offers his hand to Limbaugh!  He pulls Limbaugh up and both men go after Arianna. They stomp him down then go after Matthews, ramming his shoulder into the post. They grind Moutilsas’s face into the chain and then choke him on it. Oh this is awesome, Moutilsas’s head is stuck in the chainlink while Hannity applies a Boston Crab and Limbaugh stamps on his back.  Huffington and Limbaugh exchange rights until Hannity clocks him from behind. Limbaugh holds Huffington while Hannity lays the boots in, then they throw her to the grating. They throw Huffington back-first into the chain, and now Limbaugh is setting Huffington for the elevated DDT…he stops, goes to the grating and DROPS HER ON THE STEEL INSTEAD!!!]

[Bill O’Reilly in!  Maddow flips over the back of O’Reilly but gets levelled with a clothesline. BIG flapjack by O’Reilly.  Lionsault attempt, O’Reilly lands on his feet bit Maddow dropkicks the knee! O’Reilly rolls out of the ring to the grating, Maddow tries a springboard but O’Reilly ducks, Maddow holds on to the chain! O’Reilly yanks her off and Maddow lands face-first on the steel! O’Reilly takes her to the chain twice, Maddow rolls inside and O’Reilly hits a slingshot splash for 2.  O’Reilly stands on Maddow’s back.  Maddow fights back with some kicks but O’Reilly hits a snap mare and locks in a modified arm-in chinlock.]

O’Reilly: “ASK HER!”

[Maddow fights out, ducks a clothesline and hits a quebrada press for 2. Maddow avoids a charge, tilt-a-whirls herself and locks in a guillotine choke. O’Reilly rams Maddow into the turnbuckle to break the hold and then locks in the STF!  O’Reilly breaks the hold when Laura Ingraham enters the match.  But the extra help does him no good as he eats a dropkick, and another from Maddow.  O’Reilly gets launched to the grating.  Ingraham attacks Maddow and tries to lift her to the grating, Maddow lands on her feet! Springboard INTO A STIFF KICK by Ingraham! O’Reilly reverses a knee lift by Maddow into a schoolboy for 2. He whips Maddow in but charges into a boot, Ingraham to the top but Maddow jumps up with her and pushes him backwards into a pod! Maddow charges O’Reilly but gets lifted on to the grating! He pushes Maddow into the chain and sets for a flying double clothesline over the corner post!  Got it!  Inside he hits the standing SSP for 2.  Maddow hits a back elbow to a charging Ingraham and ranas her into 619 position…again, she can’t pull off the move as O’REILLY intercepts with the spinning shock treatment! 1…2…no! He whips Maddow to the corner but eats the flying Chuck on her return! Maddow ranas Ingraham to the bottom turnbuckle!  She puts Ingraham up top…here comes the super rana…INGRAHAM BLOCKS! Eskimo Pieface…CONNECTS! 1…2…3!]

Laura Ingraham eliminates Rachel Maddow

[The countdown starts as Matthews circles the door to Ann Coulter’s pod. Here comes ‘The Queen of Political Extreme and she is a house of fire.   Shoulders and clotheslines everywhere! Right hand for Matthews! Throwback to Matthews… She takes him up for a Attitude Adjustment and drops him TO THE GRATING!  Matthews has recovered enough to throw Coulter out onto the grating, leaving Hannity as the last man up.  I think Moutilsas is still stuck in the fence. Matthews tries to take Coulter to the chain but it’s reversed! STF to Matthews!  Matthews breaks it up! Chinlock backbreaker! He stalks Coulter and what?  Rupert Murdoch is at ringside with a lead pipe! He’s trying to get Coulter’s attention and make good with the conservative movement but Coulter wants none of it, so Murdoch drops the pipe in the ring anyway.  Hannity has the pipe! He nails…MATTHEWS! He covers Matthews! 1…2…3!]

Sean Hannity eliminates ‘Hardball’ Chris Matthews via pinfall

[Hannity levels Huffington as Matthews and Limbaugh stare each other down. Hannity picks up Moutilsas but gets countered with a headscissors back into the ring! Moutilsas…Trouble in Paradise on Limbaugh! 1…2…3!]

Markos Moutilsas eliminates Rush Limbaugh via pinfall

[Hannity NAILS Moutilsas with the pump kick.  Power Bomb…connects! 1…2…3!]

Hannity eliminates Moutilsas via pinfall

[Guess who’s in?  Keith Olbermann and the fun begins.  Kicks to the chest of O’Reilly, he goes to the well one too many times and O’Reilly catches the leg! Leg trip by O’Reilly, he tries to lock in the Boston Crab.  Olbermann bails and catches O’Reilly with right hands and hits an avalanche.  Snake eyes and the big boot connects. Another boot for Ingraham, big leg to O’Reilly gets 2.  Chokeslam time for Ingraham!  O’Reilly and Ingraham work together and hit a double suplex on Olbermann. They clothesline Olbermann up and over, Ingraham with a Magistral cradle! 1…2…no! O’Reilly rolls outside then backdrops Olbermann to the grating. O’Reilly toys with Olbermann, which may go down as the dumbest move ever. Olbermann gets pissed and O’Reilly tries to hide in the pod…unsuccessfully. Olbermann pulverises him then hits an avalanche on Ingraham, and a second. Snake eyes by Olbermann and the big FLYING CHUCK! He nailed it! He’s selling the ankle injury though! Instead of the pin he goes for the Big Splash…KNEES!  O’Reilly thinks this would be a good time to go after Olbermann, but Olbermann sits up in time and O’Reilly flees to the pod and closes the door. Olbermann looks out of it but throws Ingraham to the grating and stamps away. He throws Ingraham into the pod door and the plexiglass gives but does not go down. Olbermann goes for a power slam on Ingraham…O’Reilly charges and spears Olbermann! Ingraham hangs on to the chains as Olbermann charges O’Reilly…O’Reilly moves! Olbermann goes THROUGH the pod plexiglass! Ingraham comes off the chains with a crossbody!  Ingraham and O’Reilly roll into the ring.  Ingraham forgot about Olbermann and gets goozled! CHOKESLAM to the grating! 1…2…3!]

Keith Olbermann eliminates Laura Ingraham via pinfall

[Coulter gets hit with a knee trembler by Huffington.  Coulter gets her up for the Attitude Adjustment but Huffington escapes and hits the uranage backbreaker again. Powerslam gets 2.  She hangs Coulter in the Tree of Woe and stamps away, then snags Coulter for the sleeper…Arianna breaks off and low blows Hannity.  PEDIGREE TO HANNITY!  She drapes an arm over him! 1…2…3!!!]

Arianna Huffington eliminates Hannity via pinfall (Pedigree)

[Coulter struggle to his feet…STF! Huffington struggles and fights and struggles…Coulter holds on…Arianna fights for the ropes…Coulter wrenches back…Huffington looks to be fading…SHE TAPS!]

Ann Coulter eliminates HuffingtonAnn Coulter wins the Left Chamber.

[Olbermann stalks O’Reilly, O’Reilly charges and eats a pair of rights. Corner beating by Olbermann now, he backs up and hits a running high knee in the corner.  He tries a running boot but O’Reilly moves! He goes up top with Olbermann…superplex connects! 1…2…2.68! Knee drop by O’Reilly and some rights, he comes off the ropes GOOZLE! O’Reilly rolls through to the Walls! Olbermann counters with Hell’s Gate…BLOCKED! Sleeper locked in! Olbermann has nowhere to go! He rolls to his back and almost gets the Hell’s Gate, O’Reilly fights and uses the ropes as leverage to escape!  He picks up O’Reilly for the power bomb…O’Reilly out the back!  DDT! 1…2…2.9003! O’Reilly with the 10-count punches in the corner, Olbermann grabs on! SIT DOWN POWER BOMB.  Wait!  Rupert Murdoch with another pipe!  Pipe shot through the grating, Olbermann ducks and O’Reilly CATCHES IT FLUSH!  Murdoch can’t believe it!  Olbermann covers! 1…2…3!]

Keith Olbermann eliminates Bill O’Reilly 
Keith Olbermann wins the Right Chamber

[Media Matters’s Eric Boehlert runs out and tackles Murdoch.]

Suave:  “Boehlert is laying a beatdown on Murdoch!”

[Murdoch and Boehlert brawl all the way to the back.]

Suave: “It’s down to Keith Olbermann vs. ‘The Queen of Political Extreme’ Ann Coulter.  Mano y womano.”

Current TV’s Keith Olbermann
‘The Queen of Political Extreme’ Ann Coulter
Suave: “The gate goes up and it’s on!  Olbermann and Coulter just pummel each other on the top level of these Twin Chambers of Extreme Doom!”

[Olbermann sweeps the legs out from under Coulter.  Coulter lands hard but instinctly thrust kicks Olbermann in the balls.  Olbermann falls over and he’s in a world of hurt.  Coulter pulls out a cheese grater and tenderizes Olbermann’s forehead with it.  Olbermann with a wild left hand sends Coulter and the cheese grater flying across the top of the cage.  Then…

Fleetwood Mac’s “Don’t Stop” suddenly starts to play. The crowd explodes as a spotlight shines on a plaid shirted man with a Singapore cane and a cup of mocha in his hands.


The Extreme Environmental Hardcore Icon Al Gore

The crowd sings the chorus “Don’t stop, thinking about tomorrow.” Gore holds up his mocha, inside an environmentally friendly biodegradable container of course, and chugs it down. Then he spews it out of his mouth into the crowd and then crushes the paper container on his forehead in a manly fashion.

The Environmental Extreme Hardcore Icon walks down the steps to the main floor. At the bottom of the steps, Gore pulls out another container of mocha, guzzles it down, spews it into the crowd, and then smashes the container on his forehead. Gore then wades through the main floor crowd to the ring.  He climbs up on the apron, pulls out yet another cup of mocha, guzzles that one down, spews it into the crowd, and then smashes the container on his forehead.

Gore immediately goes over to Beck and starts caning the ever-livin’ crap out of him.  Then…

David Shuster, Shannyn Moore, and Andrea Mitchell

…the FOK News All-Stars come out and join Gore in the beat down of Coulter.  Olbermann urges them on while wearing the crimson mask.  Shuster and Gore hold Coulter up.  Olbermann can’t see very well.  He charges Coulter.  SPEAR!]


[Olbermann and Coulter land in the ring after going through the other levels of the cage.  They’re both out.  But Olbermann lands on top of Coulter.  The referee makes the count…1…2…3.]


Suave: “I think they’re both dead.  And if they’re not, they should be.”

Suave pulls out his cell phone again and tries to call Rick Perry...and waits...and waits...and waits......

Saturday, July 16, 2011

PCW in Midway, GA Monday Night to Crown the ‘King of Extreme’ Title

That’s right, Political Championship Wrestling will be in Midway, GA this Monday night for another politically extreme edition of PCW Extreme Political TV.

Midway, GA, of course, is known for their no nonsense, law and order attitude. Just look at this…

3 girls sitting just off the road selling lemonade. Suddenly, screeching tires can be heard down the road.

A SWAT van and several police cars pull up to the lemonade stand.

A stream of SWAT personnel exit the back of the van and surround the stand.

Midway Police Chief Kelly Morningstar gets out of his police car with a bullhorn. “ATTENTION GIRLS OPERATING UNAUTHORIZED LEMONADE STAND.”

“We’re right here,” says one of the girls.


“I mean, we’re right in front of you,” says another girl.


“Really, we’re right in front of you.”


The SWAT team remove the girls, wraps yellow ‘police line do not cross’ tape around the stand…

…and drinks the rest of the lemonade.

Ga. Police Shut Down Lemonade Stand- CBS News


Monday night, PCW crowns the new King of Extreme Title. The contestants:

Rush Limbaugh
Sean Hannity
Ann Coulter
Markos Moutilsas
Arianna Huffington
‘Hardball’ Chris Matthews
Glenn Beck
Laura Ingraham
Bill O’Reilly
Alan Grayson
Rachel Maddow
Keith Olbermann

Catch all the exciting action this Monday night on PCW.

Monday, July 11, 2011

Bachmann Draws First Blood in Iowa: 7/11 PCW Extreme Political TV

PCW Extreme Political TV

Ottumwa High School Gym

Ottumwa, Iowa

Monday July 11th, 2011
Host: Johnny Suave

*10 Bell Tribute to Betty Ford*

Suave: It’s six months away from the beginning of the 2012 PCW CEO contest and things are heating up in Iowa.

Tim Pawlenty Promo
Tim Pawlenty (R-MN) cuts a promo on fellow Minnesota Republican Michele Bachmann.

Pawlenty: I like Congresswoman Bachmann. I’ve campaigned for her. I respect her, but her record of accomplishment in Congress is non-existent.  We’re not looking for folks who just have speech capabilities.  We’re looking for who can lead a large enterprise in a public setting and drive it to conclusion. I have done that; she hasn’t.  I am the serious, results-oriented candidate; I’ve even adopted the campaign slogan ‘results, not rhetoric.’
Michele Bachmann walks out.

Bachmann: Let’s find out just how serious I am.  You bring your guy.  I’ll bring mine.  Tonight.

Pawlenty: You’re on.

Match #1

Texas Jack (R)

Teddy Lewis (I)
 Suave: This is Texas Jack’s debut match in PCW.  It’s not a coincidence that his arrival mirrors the possibility that Texas’s Rick Perry may jump into the PCW CEO race.

The bell rings and both wrestlers come out.   Lewis charges Texas Jack.

Suave: Texas Jack takes Lewis down with a scoop slam.

Texas Jack misses a leg drop.  Lewis grabs a leg and tries to roll him up.

Suave: It looks like Lewis is going for a pin.

The referee starts the count. ONE!

Suave: Texas Jack kicks out of the pin attempt.

Boot to the mid section by Texas Jack.

Suave: Texas Jack scoops Lewis up and then slams him down to the mat.  Now, he stomps on the chest of Lewis.

Texas Jack lies across Lewis’s chest and hooks a leg with the arm on the opposite side

Suave: Texas Jack goes for the inside cradle.    ONE!   Lewis kicks out.

Texas Jack hits Lewis with a stomp to the face.

Suave: Lewis is dazed after that Stomp.

Texas Jack scoops Lewis up and then slams him down to the mat.  Another stomp to the face.

Suave: Texas Jack locks in a side headlock…DDT on the way…NO!  Lewis escapes and comes off the ropes.  He
hits Texas Jack with a haymaker.

Lewis hooks Texas Jack in a front facelock and then drops him on his head with a DDT.

Suave: DDT by Lewis.  Lewis gets Texas Jack in a quick inside cradle.

The referee starts the count. ONE! TWO!    Texas Jack kicks out.

Suave: That was close.  Too close if you’re Texas Jack.

Texas Jack takes Lewis down with a lariat.  He climbs from the ring and grabs a chair.  Texas Jack throws the chair into the ring.

Suave: Texas Jack going with a steel folding chair…but he doesn’t see Lewis up.

Lewis pulls Texas Jack down to the mat in an inside cradle pinning combination.

Suave: Inside Cradle came out of nowhere!   ONE!   Texas Jack kicks out and he’s not happy.   Lariat to Lewis and now he’s got the chair.  *CLANG*  HOLY CRAP!  *CLANG*  Texas Jack is systematically trying to destroy poor Teddy Lewis.

Texas Jack throws down the chair and stomps on Lewis.

Suave: That chair was bent after Texas Jack used it on Teddy Lewis.

Texas Jack hooks the leg and attempts a pin.

The referee starts the count. ONE!   Lewis gets a shoulder up!

Suave: Lewis out at one.   He gets a quick inside cradle on Texas Jack.    ONE!   TWO!    NO!  Texas Jack kicks out at the very last second.

Scoop slam by Texas Jack.   He grasps Lewis’s leg and turns 360 degrees over the leg twisting it inward.

Suave: Texas Jack with the spinning toe hold.  That can’t feel good for Teddy Lewis.

Texas Jack with a haymaker.    And another.  He grabs a lasso from his corner and wraps it around Lewis’s neck.

Suave: Blatant choke hold and the referee starts the count. ONE!

Texas Jack breaks the hold.

Suave: Texas Jack still has the chair as a weapon.  He picks it up.


Suave: HOLY CRAP!  Texas Jack with the chair shot on Lewis.  Things aren’t looking too good for Lewis here.

Texas Jack hits Lewis with a lariat and knocks him down.

Suave: I don’t know if Texas Jack got all of that Lariat.  He stomps on Lewis.  Texas Jack with a lariat and knocks him down.

Texas Jack lifts Lewis up and then slams him down with a scoop slam.

Suave: Texas Jack hit that move full force!

Texas Jack swings around and turns him upside-down, and drops into a sitting or kneeling position, driving Lewis’s head-first into the mat.

Suave: Good night!

Lewis is out cold. The referee awards the match to Texas Jack.

WINNER: Texas Jack @ 5:42

Rick Perry (R-TX) appears in the back.  He claps as the referee raises Texas Jack’s hand.

The usual suspects converge for PCW deficit talks w/PCW CEO Barack Obama & his aide de camp Joe Biden: Republicans: Leader of the PCW Competition Committee John Boehner/Eric Cantor/PCW Executive Committee Minority Leader Mitch McConnell/ Jon Kyl; Dem: PCW Competition Committee Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi/Steny Hoyer/PCW Executive Committee Majority Leader Harry Reid/Dick Durbin.

Suave: Come on guys, let’s get it together and get it done.

Rupert Murdoch Segment
Rupert Murdoch comes to the ring.

“Say,” Murdoch begins, “does anybody here think that taping phone calls of various people to generate news stories would be a good idea?” Stunned silence follows. Then the crowd roars negatively and immediately heave their chairs into the ring.

Suave: Apparently, the answer is no.

Murdoch is overwhelmed and buried underneath the steel-folding chairs.

Suave: No, not a good idea.  Main event tonight pits Farmer John representing Tim Pawlenty (R-MN) versus the Tea Party’s Average Joe representing Michele Bachmann.

Paul Ryan Segment
Paul Ryan (R-WI) comes out to defend his economic plan to save PCW and challenges CEO Barack Obama to an economic debate.

He then introduces his ‘Raiders’: Nick Ray- HT: 6′ 0″ WT: 230, HOME: Parma, OH and Kevin Collins- HT: 6’1″ WT: 225, HOME: Brookfield, WI.

Match #2

Paul Ryan’s Raiders: Nick Ray (R) and Kevin Collins (R)
The Bureaucrats: Jordan Metzger (D) and Andrew Riley (D)
Suave: Two new tag teams face off here tonight.  Republicans Nick Ray and Kevin Collins aka Paul Ryan’s Raiders versus ‘The Bureaucrats’, Democrats Jordan Metzger and Andrew Riley.  This should be an interesting match.

Ryan gives his ‘Raiders’ a thumbs up.  The bell sounds and Nick Ray and Jordan Metzger lock up.

Suave: Ray hits Metzger in the gut with a front kick.  Metzger grabs Ray from behind and lifts him overhead, hitting a release German suplex.

Metzger strikes Ray in the chest with a backhand chop.   Andrew Riley reaches out and Metzger makes the tag.

Suave: Quick tag by the Bureaucrats brings in Andrew Riley.  Riley and Ray will now go at it.

Riley leaps at Ray and hits him in the side of the head with a flying wheel kick.   He picks Ray up by the waist and slams him back down with a spinebuster.

Suave: Beautiful Spinebuster by Riley.   Riley with an overhand punch.  Another overhand punch.

Ray lifts Riley up vertically, stalls and then slams him down with a suplex.  He follows up with an overhand punch.

Suave: Ray fighting back.  But he walks into a front kick to the gut by Riley.  He picks Ray up by the waist…another spinebuster!

There’s a commotion ringside.

Suave: What the hell?  It’s Rutgers Economist Susan Feinberg and she’s berating Paul Ryan?

Ray looks to his corner for a tag but Collins is blocking Feinberg from getting to Ryan.  Feinberg screams at Ryan “how he could live with himself” for sipping expensive wine with a couple of economists while advocating for cuts to programs for seniors and the poor.

Riley flips over Ray and faces him in a reverse body scissors.  He uses the momentum to pull Ray down to the mat back first and reapplies the body scissors.

Suave: Code Red Tape by Riley!  Ray has got to get out of this hold somehow and make a tag to Collins.

Ray reaches for the ropes.

Suave: Ray grabs the ropes and the referee forces Riley to break the hold.

Riley hits Ray in the face with an overhand punch.

Suave: Nasty shot by Riley.  Ray has got to make a tag here soon or this one is over.

Riley picks Ray up onto his shoulders, swings him around and drops him with the Rack Bomb.

Suave: Rack Bomb!  Rack Bomb!

Riley makes the cover…1..2..3.

Suave: That’s it!

WINNER: The Bureaucrats: Jordan Metzger and Andrew Riley (D) @ 4:47

Suave: The Bureaucrats get their first tag team win in PCW over Paul Ryan’s Raiders.

Sarah Palin Promo
Palin: The people of America are desperate for positive change, and deserving of positive change, to get us off of this wrong track.

Palin: You know, I rarely use the term ‘bipartisanship, I use the term ‘independent.’ Piper’s middle name is ‘Indie.’ That’s the Alaskan way of life. Seventy-three percent of Alaskans aren’t registered Republican or Democrat, they’re independent. Todd’s not a registered Republican. Most of the people I know, they’re independent people saying, ‘Just use common sense.

Palin: I’m not so egotistical as to believe that it has to be me, or it can only be me, to turn things around.  But I do believe that I can win.

Suave: Will she run?  I wouldn’t bet against it.

PCW CEO Barack Obama Statement
Obama: What I emphasized to the broader group of leaders yesterday is, now is the time to deal with these issues.  If not now, when?  I’ve been hearing from my Republican friends for quite some time that it is a moral imperative for us to tackle our debt and our deficits in a serious way.  I’ve been hearing from them that this is one of the things that’s creating uncertainty and holding back investment on the part of the business community.  And so what I’ve said to them is, let’s go. And it is possible for us to construct a package that would be balanced, would share sacrifice, would involve both parties taking on their sacred cows, would involved some meaningful changes to Medicare, Social Security, and Medicaid that would preserve the integrity of the programs and keep our sacred trust with our seniors, but make sure those programs were there for not just this generation but for the next generation; that it is possible for us to bring in revenues in a way that does not impede our current recovery, but is fair and balanced.

So I continue to push leaders for the largest possible deal.  And there’s going to be resistance.  There is, frankly, resistance on my side to do anything on entitlements.  There is strong resistance on the Republican side to do anything on revenues.  But if each side takes a maximalist position, if each side wants 100 percent of what its ideological predispositions are, then we can’t get anything done.  And I think the American people want to see something done.  They feel a sense of urgency, both about the breakdown in our political process and also about the situation in our economy..
Mila Kunis-Marine Segment

Suave: Here’s a lucky SOB who had the balls to ask a Hollywood starlet to go to a Marine Ball.

Mila Kunis

Suave: And the good news, she said yes.  The ball takes place Nov. 18 in Greenville, N.C.  Semper Fi.

John Boehner Statement
Boehner: I appreciate what PCW CEO Barack Obama said today about the need for us to come together and get this done. Our disagreements are not personal. They never have been. The gulf between the two parties right now is about policy.  It’s not about process, and it’s not about personalities

CEO Obama and I agree that the current levels of spending, including entitlement spending, are unsustainable. He and I do not agree on his view that government needs more revenues through higher taxes on job creators. The CEO and I also disagree on the extent of the entitlement problem, and what is necessary in order to solve it.

“Most Americans would say that a ‘balanced’ approach is a simple one: the administration gets its debt limit increase, and the American people get their spending cuts and their reforms. And adding tax increases to the equation doesn’t ‘balance’ anything.

PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein Interview With Rutgers Economist Susan Feinberg
On tape, Bernstein catches up with Feinberg…

Bernstein: Susan, what price constituted outrageous in your mind.  Would you have been as upset if Ryan’s wine were $150, $100, or even $80 a bottle, like the one you had the other night — more than a day’s labor for a worker making the minimum wage.

Feinberg: I’m sorry, I have no comment on this.

Bernstein:  Was it because you thought Rep. Ryan was a hypocrite for drinking expensive wine while recommending reduced spending on Medicare and Medicaid?  Was it because she believed Rep. Ryan was corrupt for drinking with two men you suspected were lobbyists?

Feinberg: No really, I have no comment.

Bernstein: And finally, do you believe you behaved appropriately in the matter?  Would it be appropriate for a conservative who felt strongly about, say, Rep. Nancy Pelosi, or Rep. Barney Frank, to do something similar to them under similar circumstances?

Feinberg just walks away.

Farmer Ted (R) w/Tim Pawlenty

Average Joe (Tea Party) w/Michele Bachmann
Suave:  Farmer Ted head-to-head against Average Joe.

The bell rings.  Both men lock up in the middle.  Average Joe takes down Farmer Ted with a leg sweep.  Farmer Ted tries to fight back with kicks but Average Joe takes his head off with a forearm.

Suave: That was nasty.   Average Joe has Farmer Ted up…and he drives his head into the mat with a piledriver.  HOLY CRAP!

Average Joe has Farmer Ted’s shoulders pinned to the mat and the referee starts the count. ONE!   TWO!  Farmer Ted kicks out.

Average Joe charges at Farmer Ted and takes him down with a clothesline.

Suave: Oh!  Poke to the eye by Farmer Ted.   That changes the momentum in the match.  He lifts Average Joe up in a fireman’s carry, spins him around and hits him with the Barn Burner.

Farmer Ted drops the leg on Average Joe.  Average Joe rolls away and clotheslines Farmer Ted, taking him down to the mat.

Suave: Farmer Ted reaches back and hits Average Joe with a haymaker.  Average Joe comes back with a right hand.  Farmer Ted with another right hand.  Average Joe- right hand.

Farmer Ted with a wild right.  Average Joe ducks, spins him around 180, and hits an Atomic Drop.   Average Joe then lifts Farmer Ted up and hits a second piledriver.


Average Joe goes for the cover but the referee is distracted when Tim Pawlenty climbs onto the apron to complain.  Michele Bachmann then starts yelling at Pawlenty.  Average Joe backs up and waits for the referee to rejoin the match.  Once he does, Average Joe takes Farmer Ted down with a drop toe hold.

Suave: Average Joe with a stomp to the face.    OH!  HELLO!  Farmer Ted drops down and goes low on Average Joe.

Average Joe is bent over.  Farmer Ted grabs the back of Joe’s neck and hits a swinging neckbreaker.  Farmer Ted for the cover. ONE!

Suave: Average Joe shoots a shoulder up.

Average Joe clotheslines Farmer Ted.    Farmer Ted comes back and clotheslines Average Joe.    Stomp to the chest of Average Joe.  Tim Pawlenty claps his hands.

Suave: We could see Farmer Ted’s Tractor Bomb here.  Can he do it?

Farmer Ted goes for the finisher.  Average Joe reaches back and hits Farmer Ted with a reverse neckbreaker.

Suave: Average Joe runs at Farmer Ted and knocks him down.

Farmer Ted scoops Average Joe up and then slams him down to the mat.

Suave: Scoop slam by Farmer Ted!   Right hand by Farmer Ted!  Whip to the corner.  PAWLENTY GRABS AVERAGE JOE!  AND HERE COMES BACHMANN!

Bachmann runs around the ring and pulls Pawlenty off the ring apron.

Suave: Average Joe hooks Farmer Ted in a front facelock…DDT!

Average Joe lifts Farmer Ted up and slams him to the mat.


WINNER: Average Joe (Tea Party) @ 6:09

Big win for Average Joe and Michele Bachmann.

Alan Grayson Promo
Alan Grayson stands in front of a giant poster of Green Lantern.

Grayson: The movie Green Lantern opened on Friday, to mixed reviews.  Maybe the reviews would have been better if the movie had included this powerful exchange, from Green Lantern #76:

African-American Man: I’ve been readin’ about you . . . How you work for the blue skins . . . and how on a planet someplace you helped out the orange skins . . . and you done considerable for the purple skins! Only there’s skins you never bother with – the black skins!  I want to know . . . how come?!  Answer me that, Mr. Green Lantern!

Green Lantern: I  . . . can’t . . . .

I may never have the chance to talk to George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld, or any of the other Masters of the Universe who led and misled our country for eight long years.  Nor may I ever have the chance to speak to Sarah Palin, Newt Gingrich, Rush Limbaugh, or any of the other savage right-wing loons who want to finish the job that Bush et al. started.  But if I could, I might say:

Me: I’ve been readin’ about you . . . How you work for multinational corporations like Big Oil. . . .  And how you say you built all those roads and schools and bridges in some country in Asia.   And in some other country in the Middle East someplace you got rid of some dictator.  Only there’s one country you never bother with – America!  I want to know . . . how come?!  Answer me that, Mr. Flag-Waiving Patriot!

Them: I  . . . can’t . . . .

Well, I can answer that.  For a generation now, we have seen the heartless, callous erosion and destruction of all the things that make you a member of the middle class in America:

A job.

A home.

A car.

The chance to see a doctor when you are sick.

A pension or retirement account.

Social Security and Medicare.

And we’ve seen them replaced by endless war, falling home values, no pensions, lower wages, and now what Karl Marx called a “reserve army of the unemployed” – to keep wages down forever.

Even after only two years in office, as one out of 435 in the House, I can point to a lot of things that I did to preserve, protect and expand the middle class in America, and to help those of us who were falling through the cracks.

I look at our so-called leaders on the other side of the aisle, and I see nothing like that.  Only a perverse delight in eliminating programs that help my fellow Americans in need.  They’ll lead us, all right – they’ll lead us straight to ruin.

The next time you see one of them — at a town hall meeting, in their plush offices, or just on the street – ask them this:  “What have you done to help the people?  Answer me that!”

If they’re honest, they’ll say what Green Lantern said:  “I can’t.”


Tuesday, July 05, 2011

Toddlers Riot in Nation’s Daycare Centers in Wake of Casey Anthony Acquittal

Mere minutes after a jury found Casey Anthony not guilty of murdering her daughter, toddlers all across the nation broke out in riots to protest the verdict. Tipping plastic chairs and tables over, throwing toys all over the place, massive food fights, and worse, daycare providers all across the country found themselves in the midst of an angry bunch of 18 month, 2, and 3 year olds.

“It was terrible,” said Melissa Marshall, a daycare provider from Lexington, Kentucky. “They tied me to a chair and started throwing their poopy diapers at me. Then they made a complete mess of the floor and smeared their poop all over the center. Finally, they forced me watch countless episodes of the Gilmore Girls all afternoon while they threw crap at the television. I’ve never seen them act out this terribly- ever.

PCW Champion Yamamoto Tanaka himself narrowly escaped abject humiliation at the hands of a rough gang of two year olds who terrorized a daycare center he visited earlier in the day. “The whole place just exploded when the verdict was read,” Tanaka explained. “One toddler jumped onto a table and shouted ‘no justice; no peace’ while another kept yelling ‘Attica, Attica’ over and over.” Thankfully, the PCW Champion was able to escape before the situation deteriorated even more.

Said PCW play by play announcer Johnny Suave, “Hmmm, sounds like your typical political gathering these days.”