Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Sarah Palin in Black Leather: 5/30-PCW Extreme Political TV

PCW Extreme Political TV

Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon

Wauseon, OH

Monday May 30, 2011

Host: Johnny Suave

60 Minutes

Tonight’s show starts right in the ring…


MATCH #1


Scabby the Rat (D)

vs.

Rich the Fat Union Thug (R)

Suave notes that PCW again is ahead of the innovative curve by featuring a match between two mascots representing opposite sides of an issue.

The match isn’t even a minute old when…

*Do You Hear the People Sing? from the musical Les Miserables begins to play*

Do you hear the people sing?
Singing a song of angry men?
It is the music of a people
Who will not be slaves again!
When the beating of your heart
Echoes the beating of the drums
There is a life about to start
When tomorrow comes!

Charlie and Kenzie Blackwell and  ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido of the American Heartland Coalition walk out.


Will you join in our crusade?
Who will be strong and stand with me?
Beyond the barricade
Is there a world you long to see?
Then join in the fight
That will give you the right to be free!

Blackwell motions to the people behind him and they begin to march.


Do you hear the people sing?
Singing a song of angry men?
It is the music of a people
Who will not be slaves again!
When the beating of your heart
Echoes the beating of the drums
There is a life about to start
When tomorrow comes!

Ken Worth- The American Trucker and Tequila Sheila (American Heartland) also join the procession.


Do you hear the people sing?
Singing a song of angry men?
It is the music of a people
Who will not be slaves again!
When the beating of your heart
Echoes the beating of the drums
There is a life about to start
When tomorrow comes!

Blackwell, Escondido, and The American Trucker hit the ring and destroy both mascots.

WINNER: No contest @ 3:11


Blackwell:
In case you haven’t noticed, it still costs $4 fucking dollars a gallon for gas, food prices are going up, and the best you can do blame the other for not addressing the issue.  It’s both the Republican and Democrats party’s fault and because we have a system where you have two parties who can’t think their way out of the proverbial box all we’ve done is talk about the problem, complain about the problem, instead of actually doing something about the problem.   Meanwhile, the lower/middle class/working poor pay $4 to $5 per gallon of gas and continue down the Bataan Death March towards bankruptcy and foreclosure.  Here’s an idea- tell your special interest to…two words- fuck off.”


MATCH #2

PCW Tag Team Champions California Teachers Union: ‘The Foul Pole’ Andy Golatta/Malibu Dusty (D)
vs.
Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit (R)

The crowd boos as Andy Golatta and Malibu Dusty, pulling along Jerry Brown (D-CA) on a leash, walk out.  “WE’RE TAKING OVER!” shouts Malibu Dusty as he holds up the PCW Tag Team belts.

Result: No contest @ 2:33 when…

‘The Self Proclaimed Savior of the Middle Class’ Big Labor and Triple R (D) run out.  Rough Justice: D.B. Ruff and Connor Justice (R)- two former police officers fired for their ‘extreme’ brand of justice, then race down and the match completely breaks down.

MATCH #3

Pizza Delivery Guy Josh Jackson (R) w/Herman Cain (R) and Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl Tessa Martin

vs.

Andy Riley (D) w/Anthony Weiner (D-NY)

Riley, coming off a big victory last week, sticks up for Weiner in his recent scandal regarding a lewd photograph that allegedly showed Weiner’s weiner on Twitter.  Jackson comes out and challenges Riley and an impromptu match takes place.

WINNER: Josh Jackson (R) @ 11:45

-Jackson continues his ascent up the PCW Rankings with another win this week.  Weiner attempted to intervene but ran into a pizza cutter from Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl Tessa Martin.  Post match, Martin dumps a container filled with Oscar Mayor weiners on Weiner.


MAIN EVENT:



PCW Television Champion ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D) w/The Skanky Rich Bimbos: Kim, Chloe, and Courtney Cardis-Sheehan

vs.
American Citizen’ Kevin Scott (R) w/Fox News’s Bill O’Reilly

This one start over O’Reilly’s comments on Fox that Kim was a “pinhead” for reportedly getting a $2 million engagement ring from her fiancee.  “Now, we believe in true love, but that seems to be a bit much. A $1 million ring would have been nice, and then you could have used the other million to help people who need assistance.  Kim and her fiancee are pinheads.”


WINNER AND STILL PCW TELEVISION CHAMPION: ‘The One Man Hollywood @ 8:09

-Chism gets the Hollywood Blockbuster on a distracted Kevin Scott after the Skanky Rich Bimbos ripped off their tops and gave Bill O’Reilly a triple Wardrobe Malfunction.

Other notable happenings:

Mary Kay Huntsman
-Mary Kay Huntsman led her husband Jon out to the ring in the clearest indication that Jon Huntsman is going to run for PCW CEO in 2012.

Mary Kay: “He says nobody can tell you to run; nobody can tell you not to run,” she says as she watches her husband shake hands at a house party in Keene. “But if it’s right here” — she touches her heart. “And he’s got the fire to do it.”

Suave: “And apparently, she’s got the legs to go along with it as well.”

-Backstage, Huntsman, Newt Gingrich, Mitt Romney, Herman Cain, Michele Bachmann, Rick Santorum, Tim Pawlenty, and Ron Paul field questions from Republican wrestlers about the 2012 election.

Suddenly…


Immediately, everyone rushes over to Palin.  The other Republicans don’t look too thrilled.

-To end the show, The Black Swamp Pirates come out and sing:


Don’t want to be- an American Elitist

Don’t want to be- smug, self-absorbed, and conceited

Don’t want to look down my nose- sipping cappuccino
And push political views- cause I act or hit a high note
I know it’s hard to see us when you’re up so far above
I guess we’re supposed to listen, cause you’ve got a Hollywood star
Your perks and privilege gets you places we will never see.
Your power and prestige gets you people we’ll never meet.
Stay inside your limousine behind the tinted glass
Hide behind the velvet ropes and you can kiss our ass

Don’t want to be- an American Elitist

Corporate greed feeds the rich- the rest of us simply bleed yes

Golden parachutes- they protect the big gun
While no one gives a damn- about the little ones
I know it’s hard to see us when you’re up so far above
And I guess you’ve got a better way since you drive a fancy car
Your perks and privileges gets you places we will never see.
Your power and prestige gets you people we’ll never meet.
Stay inside your limousine behind the tinted glass
Hide out at your country clubs and you can kiss our ass

Don’t want to be- an American Elitist

Big money special interests- well they get what they need yeah

One dollar equals one vote- that’s the way the game’s played
While the rest of us watch- as our dreams slowly slip away
I know it’s hard to see us when you’re up so far above
And if you’ve got the cash to pay, you get all the fun
Your perks and privileges gets you places we will never see.
Your power and prestige gets you people we’ll never meet.
Stay inside your limousine behind the tinted glass
Spend your cash, buy an election and you can kiss our ass

So Barbra Streisand, you won’t defeat us

You and the rest of the American Elitists

Just like Michael Moore, hell, you’d better believe us
You and the rest of the American Elitists
So Rush Limbaugh, you won’t defeat us
You and the rest of the American Elitists
Just like, Dick Cheney, hell you’d better believe us
Hey NRA, you won’t defeat us
You and the rest of the American Elitists
Hey you, George Soros, you’d better believe us
Hey Wall Street Journal, you won’t defeat us
You and the rest of the American Elitists
Like Rolling Stone, you’d better believe us.

Stay inside your limousine behind the tinted glass
Watch us from your ivory towers and you can kiss our ass!

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Cain Raises Cain/ Dems Win NY 3 Way Match: 5/23 PCW Extreme Political TV

PCW Extreme Political TV

Legends Sports Bar and Grill

Greensboro, NC

Monday May 23, 2011 (Taped from Saturday)
Host: Johnny Suave

Johnny Suave and his life size cardboard cut-out of Shania Twain

Suave welcomes everyone to the show from the ring.


Herman Cain (R)

Herman Cain came out and joined Suave in the ring.  Cain said he wanted to make it clear to Karl Rove,  Charles Krauthammer, and the rest of the Republican establishment: ‘I’m not running to become the CEO of the establishment.’   Cain acknowledged that he’s looked on as a long-shot candidate mainly because he’s never held office.  “But most of the people in Washington have held office before.  How’s that working for you?  I’m not a politician. I’m a problem solver.”

MATCHES
1. Andy Riley (D) picked up his biggest victory to date in PCW with the help of Kathy Hoctul (D-NY)…

Kathy Hochul (D-NY)

…defeating Republican Nick Ray, backed by

Jane Corwin (R-NY)

…and the Tea Party’s ‘Tin Cup’ Ray McAvay @ 9:15.

2. Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit (R) defeated Big Labor/Triple R (D) and  ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido and Charlie Blackwell (I-American Heartland) @ 18:23 in a three way elimination match to determine the new #1 contender for the PCW Tag Team Title.

Other notable happenings:
-Rihanna and Britney Spears dance on the PCW broadcast table


- The God Squad (Rev. Oral Hinnrich, Rev. Buddy Flambe with Sister Mary Marlboro), joined by the PTC, object to the Rihanna/Britney performance afterwards much to the chagrin of the crowd.

- The Green World Order (‘Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee, PeaceNick, GreenPete, and Peta from PETA) then come out and object to the God Squad’s objection of the performance because they feel they should be the ones who should be objecting to the performance.

The God Squad and GWO skirmish- Rihanna and Britney Spears run out and clothesline both teams with the chains connecting each wrist- they receive another standing ovation.

- Donald Trump, furious at being tossed in a dumpster at the PCW End of the World show, now could be looking at making an independent run for PCW CEO.

- Israel’s Benjamin Netanyahu receives mulitple standing ovations during a promo trumpeting the fact that his Israeli commandos did something that PCW CEO Barack Obama couldn’t do- defeat Colonel Khadafy’s minions.   Obama’s aide de camp Joe Biden last seen feverishly mopping sweat off his brow…

Herman Cain vs. Donald Trump: PCW End of the World- Part 2

Suave: And we’re back at PCW End of the World,  while we were gone, it got real interesting inside the ring.   Let’s see…


Just a few minutes ago…

Rights to Walstreit, slam and Jackson goes up top. ELBOW DROP! PIZZA CUTTER to Walstreit! 1…2…NO! Trump pulls out the ref! Jackson after Trump now and he tosses him in the ring and goes after him.  LOW BLOW BY WALSTREIT! Walstreit now grabs Jackson …STOCK MARKET PLUNGE!  Walstreit covers.

Trump has them ring the bell and that is all!


Trump is in the ring and gloating towards Cain and Jackson.   He points to himself repeatedly and tells Cain he doesn’t have the presidential stuff.  Herman Cain gets into ring and goes after Trump.  Trump slides out of the ring protected by Walstreit.

Trump motions to the back and right away Big Oil appears.

Big Oil
HT: 6′ 11″ WT: 323
HOME: Houston, TX
FIN: Oklahoma Driller (modified piledriver)
MGR: Texas Tex

Big Oil and Walstreit get back in the ring and they attack Cain.   Walstreit hits a DDT and sets up a chair.  Josh Jackson gets back in the ring and trips him up.  Big Oil whips Jackson into the corner and hits an avalanche. Bossman slam by Big Oil on Cain and he gets an elbow drop.  Big Oil puts Cain on a table and goes to hit him with a chair.

Tim Pawlenty, Michele Bachmann, and Jon Huntsman (R)

Jackson swipes the chair and nails Big Oil with the chair. Jackson knocks him out on the table with another chairshot and hits the big splash to put Big Oil through the table.  Cain gets help from Pawlenty, Bachmann, and Huntsman and they literally mug Trump on the outside.

Finally, Sarah Palin runs out again and starts hacking away at Trump and Big Oil with a taped together hockey stick.

Suave: Two appearances by the Alaskan Pitbull…or will it be the Arizonian Pitbull if she goes for the Senate in 2012?
Pawlenty, Bachmann, Huntsman, and Palin carry Trump out of the building towards the back.  They toss Trump into the…


Crowd: PCW!…PCW!…PCW!

Suave: Let’s go to the back and PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein.
Bernstein is with…

Israel’s Benjamin Netanyahu

Bernstein: Mr. Netanyahu, you just had a meeting with the CEO of PCW Barack Obama.  How did those meetings go?

Netanyahu: Let me first say, media reports of our disagreements “have been blown way out of proportion.  It’s true we have some differences of opinion, but these are among friends.”

Bernstein: So, the issue concerning the borders isn’t a deal breaker.

Netanyahu: There should be no doubt about the strength of the American-Israeli relationship and PCW CEO Obama’s
commitment to Israel and its security.

Bernstein: Are you sure?

Netanyahu: Very sure.  Now, if you don’t mind, I’d like to watch our boys show the world how to kick ass and take

MATCH #2

Israeli Commandos 1 and 2 w/Benjamin Netanyahu

vs.
Minions 1 and #2 w/Colonel Khadafy
Israeli #1 and Minion #2 start things off. Rights to Israeli #1, but he fights back and gets a hip toss. A wristlock, escape and a tag to Minion #1. Wristlock and Minion #1 runs. Minion #2 back in, neck breaker to Minion #2 and a Cactus clothesline by Israeli #1 takes them to the floor. Minion #1 attacks and rams Israeli #1 to the steel post. They take out Israeli #2 as well while Netanyahu tries to rally the troops.

Israeli #2 gets clocked from behind by Minion #1.  Minion #1 tags in to work over Israeli #1 now.  Corner elbows by Israeli #1 and then boots. Irish whip and a corner clothesline by Minion #1.  He stomps on the back now.  Tag to Minion #2 and rights to the kidneys.  Chinlock applied now and then shots to the back.  Colonel Khadafy distracts the ref and Minion #2 bends Israeli #1 around the post.  Neck breaker by Minion #2 and a cover for 2. More rights by Minion #2, tag to Minion #1.  Rights to Israeli #1 again . A hard Libyian whip follows as well as more boots to the back.  Minion #2 tags in and applies the bear hug of mild discomfort.   Israeli #1 fights…boot to Minion #2 but then runs into a powerslam for 2. Minion #2 to the 2nd rope…misses the leg drop.  Boot by Israeli #1, and a reverse DDT. Israeli #1 crawls… Israeli #1 kicks at Minion #2 and tags Israeli #2! Basement dropkicks and boots to Minion #2. Springboard leg drop to Minion #2. Poetry in motion to Minion #2. DDT by Israeli #1. Assisted leg drop by Israeli #2 gets 2.  Colonel Khadafy in and Israeli #2 takes him down…camel clutch to Khadafy.  Minion #1 into break it up and gets crotched in the ropes by Israeli #2.

Big boot to Minion #2 by Israeli #1.  TKO to Israeli #1.  Minion #1 slams Israeli #1, up top now…Netanyahu dumps him into the ring.  BIG leg drop to Minion #1 by Israeli #2.  CANE-A-PALOOZA from Israeli #1 on Minions 1 and 2!   He turns to Colonel Khadafy who escapes so Minion #2 eats another cane shot.  Israeli #2 makes the cover and that’s all.

WINNER @ 7:11 – Israeli Commandos

BACKSTAGE
Woodward Bernstein: Woodward Bernstein in the back with…


Paul Ryan (R-WI)

…Paul?  We heard from Mitch Daniels today that he’s not going to run for PCW CEO.  Does that open up an opportunity for you?

Paul Ryan: I’m not going to get into all those hypotheticals.  I’m not running for CEO. I’m not planning on running for CEO.  If you’re running for CEO, you got to do a lot of things to line up a candidacy. I’ve not done any of those things. It’s not my plan. My plan is to be a good chairman of the PCW Competition Committee’s Budget Department and fight for the fiscal sanity of PCW.

Bernstein: So, were you disappointed when Daniels bowed out?

Ryan: Quite frankly, yes I am disappointed. I think his candidacy would have been a great addition to this race and I think it’s unfortunate he’s not going to run.

Bernstein: But that won’t open up your thoughts to running for CEO?

Ryan: Absolutely not.  I want to be a part of the upcoming budget battle and fight for what’s right for PCW.

——————–

Suave: Mitch Daniels- out.  Paul Ryan- not running.  Main event-to the ring.

Voice: Hold on a second!

Suave: Check that.

It's the Religious Right (The God Squad)

Rev. Oral Hinnrich
HT: 6-0  WT: 190
HOME: Biloxi, Mississippi
FIN: P.O.C.

Rev. Buddy Flambe
HT: 5-11 WT 189
HOME: Beaumont, Texas
FIN: P.O.C.

MGR: Sister Mary Marlboro

Suave: It’s the God Squad and they’ve got something to say.

Rev: Flambe: I just want to point out for the record that neither Rev. Hinnrich or myself believed for one second that the world was going to end tonight.  This guy who predicted the end is absolutely delusional to know when the exact date God is going to end the world.

Rev. Hinnrich: So because the world didn’t end, don’t think that we, the God Squad, the Pious Pair, will be relaxing our fight to bring order and righteousness to the world.  Our battle continues you heathen bastards!

‘Do You Hear the People Sing?’ from the musical Les Miserables begins to play.

Do you hear the people sing?
Singing a song of angry men?
It is the music of a people
Who will not be slaves again!
When the beating of your heart
Echoes the beating of the drums
There is a life about to start
When tomorrow comes!

Charlie and Kenzie Blackwell and  ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido walk out.

Will you join in our crusade?
Who will be strong and stand with me?
Beyond the barricade
Is there a world you long to see?
Then join in the fight
That will give you the right to be free!

Blackwell motions to the people and they all begin to march to the ring.

Do you hear the people sing?
Singing a song of angry men?
It is the music of a people
Who will not be slaves again!
When the beating of your heart
Echoes the beating of the drums
There is a life about to start
When tomorrow comes!


MAIN EVENT- PCW TELEVISION TITLE MATCH:


Charlie Blackwell (American Heartland) w/MGR: Kenzie Blackwell and ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido
HT: 6′ 4″  WT: 190
HOME: New Braunfels, TX
FIN: Tazzmission (Katahajime)




vs.

‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (c) w/Mgr: The Skanky Rich Bimbos (Kim, Courtney, and Chloe Cardis-Sheehan)
HT: 6′ 2″ WT: 225
HOME: Hollywood, California
FIN:  Hollywood Blockbuster

Blackwell is all over Chism’s case to start but the veteran turns the tables quickly and drops Charlie face-first on the turnbuckle.  Blackwell sends Chism to the floor and then follows him out with a pescado. He grabs a fan’s drink at ringside and dumps it over Chism’s head, but gets sent into the steel steps.  Blackwell crotches Chism on the steel guardrail and then leaps off the guardrail with a flying forearm in a great display of athleticism.  Things deteriorate into a brawl from here as both men begin fighting into the crowd and up the steps.  Chism slams Blackwell into the wall and slams Charlie through the wooden railing as well.

The God Squad sneaks back out and attacks the Skanky Rich Bimbos.  Courtney gets away but Kim and Chloe get annihilated at ringside.   Chism finally runs back and chases the Pious Pair away.

Chism then goes under the ring and grabs a steel trash can, but Blackwell kicks it into his face before he can use it.  Blackwell goes under the ring and pulls out a table next, bringing it into the ring and suplexing it onto Chism for a two count.  Blackwell sets the table up like a ramp and runs up it, leaping off and nailing Chism with a forearm in the corner.  Don’t think I’ve ever seen that before. “This is Awesome!” chant breaks out as Chism blocks a suplex attempt from Blackwell and hits the DDT on him, but his foot is underneath the rope so the ref won’t count.  Chism pulls out a damn FORK now, harkening back to their I Quit match, but Blackwell prevents him from using it.  Trash can shot from Charlie and he tries to set the table back up again.  Blackwell hits the pele kick and looks to deliver Chism through the table, but here comes…



Triple R, Harry Reid, and Nancy Pelosi (D)


…into the ring.   Triple R knocks Blackwell out with a steel chain.  Chris Escondido runs in nails Triple R with a double ax handle.   Escondido delivers the Lou Thesz press to his former partner and just starts laying in closed fists.  Triple R tries tossing Escondido, but he skins the cat and hits an elevated DDT from the second rope.

Kenzie Blackwell yanks Pelosi out of the ring and she begins fighting on the floor as Escondido hits a tornado inverted DDT out of the corner on Triple R.  Triple R tries for the Catatonic side slam on Escondido but eats a spinebuster instead.  Triple R eats a superkick from Escondido.

Back in the ring, Chism gives Blackwell a piledriver through the table and that’s enough to give Chism the win at 13:05.

WINNER @ 13:05 AND STILL PCW TELEVISION CHAMPION – ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ STONE CHISM

5/21 PCW End of the World Show- Part 1

PCW End of the World Show- Part 1

Legends Sports Bar and Grill

Greensboro, NC

Saturday May 21, 2011
Host: Johnny Suave

Johnny Suave and his life size cardboard cut-out of Shania Twain

Suave: Hold it?  Wait a minute.  (checks himself out)  I’m here.  You’re here.  I guess this means the only End of the World that’s taking place tonight is right here in Greensboro, North Carolina.  Welcome to a special edition of PCW- tonight, it’s the End of the World and we’ve got a show for you.  First-

‘Big Shot’ by AC/DC interrupts Suave.

Arnold Schwarzenegger (R) appears and gets a round booing from the crowd.

Suave: IT’S THE GOVERNATOR…wait…I mean, THE ADULTERATOR ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER!
With a grim smile, the former governor of California walks to the ring.

Schwarzenegger: I know by just coming out here tonight, with all the controversy spinning around about my indiscretions, that I’m risking getting the Whiskey Tango Foxtrot treatment.  That’s okay.  I deserve the criticism and attention; my family does not.

Suave: No @#$#!

Schwarzenegger: I understand and deserve the feelings of anger and disappointment among my friends and family.  There are no excuses and I take full responsibility for the hurt I have caused. I have apologized to Maria, my children and my family. I am truly sorry for-

Def Leppard’s ‘Tear It Down’ begins.

You got the look of a howlin’ wolf
I like it
The kind of eyes that could start a fire
Yes, I like it

Suave: I guess we’re going to find out just how sorry Schwarzenegger is going to be.  Because here he comes!  PCW’s Extreme Equalizer:

A streetwise dynamo
I switch you on and I watch you go
A thrill to touch, you’re so hot
I’m coming for you ready or not

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot

I’m gettin’ ready
Livin’ on the edge of a dream
Gettin’ ready, I’m gettin’ ready
Oh, switch on your lovin’ machine

Crowd: What the #$##!  What the #$##!

Tear it down
There’s got to be a better way
Tear it down
I can’t wait another day

The Extreme Equalizer sizes up the big guy in the ring.  Then he slowly walks forward.

Tear it down
There’s got to be a better way
Tear it down
If only you could stay
All night long

Suave: WTF is going to make Schwarzenegger sweat it out a bit.

WTF gets to the ring apron.  Schwarzenegger motions to him to ‘come on’ into the ring.  WTF climbs in. But the crowd suddenly roars when behind the Governator…

‘The Alaskan Pitbull’ Sarah Palin (R)

…appears with hockey stick.  She slides into the ring and blasts Schwarzenegger in the back with the hockey stick- splitting it in two.

Suave: HOLY CRAP!

Then WTF grabs Schwarzenegger, lifts him up, and powerbombs him to the mat.

Crowd: PCW!…PCW!…PCW!

Palin demands a microphone and walks over to the fallen former governor of California.

Palin: Disgusting.  And irresponsible.   I feel bad for his children.  It must be quite embarrassing for them, and, you know, it’s an irresponsible and really a pretty disgusting thing that he did, pretty much denying that he had a child for 10 years.  That’s how I look at it. It speaks to his character. It’s sad.

She drops the microphone on his forehead and walks off.

Suave: Sarah Palin, dropping the hammer on California’s Arnold Schwarzenegger, here at PCW’s End of the World show tonight. Two weeks ago, Donald Trump and Herman Cain had a brief showdown on PCW’s Extreme Political TV.  Here’s what went down…


5/10 PCW Extreme Political TV Main Event Match:

‘Pizza Delivery Guy’ Josh Jackson w/Herman Cain (R) and ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin
vs.
RINO- The Wonk Machine (R)

RINO catches Jackson on a lariat attempt and dispatches him out of the ring.  RINO slams Jackson onto the security barrier.  Corkscrew leg drop from the barrier by RINO.  Tessa over but RINO has the ladder.  RINO steamrolls Martin with the ladder and lays her out on the floor.  Jackson with a chair- *WHACK*  RINO staggers right into a basement dropkick by Jackson.  Camel clutch on the ladder by Jackson now.  He slams RINO face first into the ladder and busts him open.  Again, Jackson slams RINO into the ladder.   Then he pulls RINO up and tosses him back into the ring.   Leg drop by Jackson.  He makes the cover- RINO barely kicks out at 2.

Jackson whips RINO to the other corner.  Another whip, reversal and Jackson eats the corner turnbuckle.  RINO slams Jackson face first into the turnbuckle.  RINO goes for the spear…he MISSES and slams into the corner ringpost.  Moonsault by Jackson.  Cover…1…2-

Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit

Big Oil pulls Jackson and tosses him out of the ring through a table.   Walstreit lifts RINO up and spikes him with the Stock Market Plunge.

NO CONTEST @ 8:54

Donald Trump (R)

Trump walks out at the end, clapping his hands as Big Oil and Walstreit celebrate in the ring.

——————–

Suave: Here we go.  Tonight, it’s Pizza Delivery Guy Josh Jackson, backed by Herman Cain (R) versus Kirk Walstreit (R) backed by Donald Trump.

Kirk Walstreit w/Donald J. Trump (R)
HT: 6-2  WT: 220
HOME: New York City, NY
FIN: Stock Market Plunge
vs.

Rookie ‘Pizza Delivery Guy’ Josh Jackson w/Herman Cain (R) and ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin
HT: 6′ 4″ WT: 235
HOME: Ft. Lauderdale, FL
Suave: A battle between the old and the new as Josh Jackson takes on Kirk Walstreit tonight on PCW End of the freakin’ World show.
Jackson charges up the ramp and attacks Walstreit as he enters! They brawl down the ramp and Jackson with rights to Walstreit. Jackson looks for toys under the ring, gets a chair and waffles Walstreit. He grabs a table now and sets it up. Jackson nails Walstreit again, but Walstreit gets a whip to JACKSON and he nails the steel post! Walstreit grabs another table and then grabs a ladder! He slides it in the ring and Trump sets up a table on the floor. Walstreit with rights and jabs to Jackson. Picks up Jackson and rams him back first into the post. Jackson is down and Walstreit sets up the ladder. Trump puts Jackson on the tables and Walstreit climbs the ladder! Jackson nails his grandmother with an errant singapore cane attack, Jackson up the ladder s well…Trump up and Jackson kicks him. Jackson has Walstreit…SUPERPLEX OFF THE LADDER THROUGH THE TABLES!!!!!! HOLY SHIT! Both men are down and Texas Tex calls for help.
EMT’s came out, but the match continued. Slam by Jackson, he has the ladder and sets it up. He goes to the top rope…then up the ladder. Trump nails Jackson with kendo stick shots as Jackson was prepping for the elbow. They show a replay of the table bump about 6-times. Walstreit slams the ladder into Jackson back. He does it again and Trump is pleased as Walstreit covers for 2. Walstreit grabs the ladder again, charges at Jackson and about takes off Jackson‘s head. Walstreit covers 1…2…NO! Elbows to the back by Walstreit, then into a surfboard. Jackson fights, gets to his feet but Walstreit brings him back down to his knees. Jackson to his feet again and gets out. DDT by Walstreit as Jackson tried to get Trump. Walstreit covers for 2. Walstreit grabs a chair and waffles Jackson. Walstreit drags Jackson to the corner now and Trump gets a trashcan and it looks like it’s the Stock Market Plunge time on the trashcan. Trump holds the can, Walstreit up top…leaps and JACKSON MOVES AND WALSTREIT NAILS TRUMP! Jackson gets to his feet and they exchange rights. Jackson in control, flying forearm and KIP UP! Atomic drop. Rights to Walstreit, slam and Jackson goes up top. ELBOW DROP! PIZZA CUTTER to Walstreit! 1…2…NO! Trump pulls out the ref! Jackson after Trump now and he tosses him in the ring and goes after him.  LOW BLOW BY WALSTREIT! Walstreit now grabs Jackson …STOCK MARKET PLUNGE!  Walstreit covers.

Trump has them ring the bell and that is all!

WINNER @ 8:44 – Kirk Walstreit (R)

———————————-


Monday, May 09, 2011

Chris Christie Still Not Running/Olbermann Feuds with Bill Simmons/Trump Trumps Cain: PCW Extreme Political TV

PCW Extreme Political TV
Darby Gymnasium
Grinnell, Iowa
Monday May 9th, 2011
Host: Johnny Suave

* '
Pulp Fiction Promos
*
 
Chris Christie (R-NJ)

*
How self important would one have to be to become tired and annoyed by people asking if they’ll run for President of the United States. It’s enormously flattering to be asked this question.
*
I am new here in PCW and if this is how they do things, I will not let this opportunity pass me by- to reiterate again that Chris Christie is not going to be candidate for PCW CEO in 2012.
*
Out comes ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott.
*

‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott (R)
*
Scott says Christie should let the crowd make the decision as to whether he’ll join the race in 2012.   Florida.   Crowd chants “Christie…Christie…” before the voting can even begin.
Christie smiles but again declines to jump into the race.
*

Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit (R)

*
Big Oil, Texas Tex, and Kirk Walstreit- ‘The Wall Street Market Analyst with the Man Crush on ESPN’s Kirk Herbstreit…
*

Kirk Herbstreit

…are out with paper bags.  Adding insult to injury, Texas Tex pushes out a wheelbarrow of heaping cash.
*
Big Oil:
Waah…waah…waah.  Listen to the people cry about gas prices.  Waah…waah…waah.  Listen to Democrat Dick Durbin cry about oil profits.   Is that you want, to sear my eyes with the mist of your bitter tears.   (Big Oil busts out laughing.)  You hates that it reflects on you the fact that you’re addicted to your automobiles.  You need me.  You can’t live with Big Oil.  And I’ve exposed you all for the hypocrites that you are.  Better yet, I forced all of you to expose yourselves.   Desperate, gutless and cowardly.  That’s what the 77% of you who said in a CNN poll that Big Oil was making too much money.  Thankfully, I won’t have to deal with your malevolence.  My eyes may not be burning, but I can still see the burning hatred, the envy you possess.  I can see that you are all ugly.  As a service, I will provide paper bags for all you wretched people to hide your hideousness.  While my face may repulse you, your ugliness offends me.
*
Big Oil flips off the camera and leaves.
*

Dennis Kucinich (D-Ohio…er…Washington er…???)

*
A giant magnifying glass makes Kucinich look viewable.
*
Kucinich:
Ha…ha.  You’re so funny.  Giant magnifying glass.  Because you can’t see me.  Because I’m short.  I get it.  You know, if it weren’t for the fact that because of redistricting I’m losing my seat on the PCW Competition Committee, I’d probably think that lame attempt at a joke would be actually funny.  But no, here I am out in Washington…state, you morons, to talk to Washingtonians about progressive change in PCW.  In fact, I even sent out an email:
*  
“Congressman Dennis Kucinich (D-Ohio), a candidate for President in 2004 and 2008, will be in Olympia on Thursday, April 28th to meet with Thurston County Democrats. The meeting will be in the Washington State Labor Council’s Olympia office (906 S. Columbia St. 3rd floor) from 7-8:30pm. He wants to talk with Democrats about what is going on in both Washingtons,” reads the e-mail.
*
That’s right, if I am forced to move then I’ll have to move.  It’s not like I’ll be hard to find, right honey?
*

Elizabeth Kucinich

*
E. Kucinich
Right, dear. *SMOOOSH*
*
Kucinich
AAAAAAGGHHHHH!  YOU STEPPED ON ME!  AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHH!
*
Johnny Suave and his life size cardboard cut-out of Shania Twain
*
Crowd: “PCW…PCW…PCW!”
*
Suave welcomes everyone to PCW Extreme Political TV.  He sends it to the ring for the first match of the night.
*
MATCH #1
‘The Insanely Mad Hungarian’ Alex Hrabosky (I)
vs.
Plantiff Attorney R Felcher (D)

*

Before the match starts, R Felcher takes the microphone.
*
R Felcher:
I’d like to say to the smart ass who decided that today was going to be ‘Take a Pratfall Inside a Plaintiff Attorney’s Office, Then Hold Your Neck or Back As if You’re Hurt Day’, it wasn’t the least bit funny.   I’m looking for you…and I’m going to sue your ass off for emotional distress!
 *
Alex Hrabosky:
Shakespeare was f@#$ing right!  Kill all the lawyers!
*
Hrabosky turns and nails Felcher with a stiff left to the mush.  Then Hrabosky slaps the crap out of Felcher.  Felcher tries to get out of the ring.  Uh…no.  More left hands by Hrabosky rock Felcher followed by a snap mare and kick.  Cover for 2- broken up by Felcher’s brother and partner at Felcher and Felcher- B Felcher.  That only pisses Hrabosky off even more.  Whip and a corner splash to B Felcher by Hrabosky.  Face wash to R Felcher.  Running lariat takes B Felcher over the top rope and out.  Another left hand to R Felcher.  Cover- R Felcher gets his foot on the ropes.  
*
Another whip again, R Felcher ducks the left hand, elbow to Hrabosky…springboard to the top, leaps and eats a wicked left hand by Hrabosky.  Cover…1…2…3.
*
WINNER: Alex Hrabosky @ 4:09
*
Time Magazine’s Bryan Walsh Interviews ‘Alpha Male and Environmental Extreme Hardcore Icon’ Al Gore
*
A Talk With Al Gore… – Time Magazine
* Q: Where is the climate movement right now? Is it still about pushing the message out to the public, trying to build the political will for action?
A: That’s still the model of change that I am operating on. And I’m doubling down on all of my efforts to get the facts communicated as clearly as I am capable of communicating them, and importantly, to communicate the solutions. The great thing about this tool is that it draws people in and it makes the story easier to absorb. Years ago I shifted from making speeches about climate to presenting slideshows precisely because the complexity of the material makes it easier to communicate with pictures. Interactive infographics make it easier still.
* Q: Has the case been conclusively made now on the science of climate change?
A: Well, I thought the case was made that Obama was born in the United States…
* Q: That’s interesting — you wrote in the 2007 book The Assault on Reason about the increasingly post-truth nature of politics. Is there a way to deal with this on the climate question? Fight it with more facts?
A: Buy the app! As Theodore Adorno said, “the conversion of all questions of truth to questions of power has attacked the very heart of the distinction between true and false.” I thought the [birther] issue was receding when I wrote this introduction, but it’s a clear example of what’s going on. It so closely resembles the willful refusal of climate skeptics to accept the truth of the climate crisis. It’s like the Moynihan quote: “Everyone is entitled to their own opinions, but not their own facts.” For me the [climate change] case was made a long time ago. But the political chapter contains one of the most startling facts about this. [He shows an illustration indicating that 19% of college-educated Republicans believe in climate change, compared to 75% of college-educated Democrats.] That difference is astonishing, and it also echoes the birther controversy.
*
Average Joe walks out.
*
Average Joe
Memo to Al Gore.  The day you move out of your f*&*ing mansion is the day I subscribe to your propaganda on global warmingYour 20-room, eight-bathroom mansion in Nashville consumes more electricity every month than the average American household uses in an entire year.  You frequently jet around the world, when not at his monster-carbon-footprint mansion, preaching the gospel of carbon-footprint reduction.  You’re a f@#$ing hypocrite-
* Fleetwood Mac’s “Don’t Stop” suddenly starts to play. The crowd explodes as a spotlight shines on a plaid shirted man with a Singapore cane and a cup of mocha in his hands.
* Suave: “IT’S HIM! HE’S HERE! THE TREE HUGGIN’, MOCHA CHUGGIN’, TOBACCO COMPANY BUGGIN’ ALPHA MALE AND ENVIROMENTAL EXTREME HARDCORE ICON…
*
The Extreme Environmental Hardcore Icon Al Gore

* The crowd sings the chorus “Don’t stop, thinking about tomorrow.” Gore holds up his mocha, inside an environmentally friendly biodegradable container of course, and chugs it down. Then he spews it out of his mouth into the crowd and then crushes the paper container on his forehead in a manly fashion.
*
The Environmental Extreme Hardcore Icon walks down the steps to the main floor. At the bottom of the steps, Gore pulls out another container of mocha, guzzles it down, spews it into the crowd, and then smashes the container on his forehead. Gore then wades through the main floor crowd to the ring.  He climbs up on the apron, pulls out yet another cup of mocha, guzzles that one down, spews it into the crowd, and then smashes the container on his forehead.
* Gore starts caning the ever-livin’ crap out of Average Joe.  Then…
*
Former MSNBC Left Wing Commentator Keith Olbermann

*

David Shuster, Shannyn Moore, and Andrea Mitchell

* …the FOK News All-Stars come out and join Gore in the beat down of Average Joe.  Olbermann urges them on.
*
ESPN’s Bill Simmons

* Simmons pulls Olbermann out of the ring and starts whaling on him on the floor.
*
Rush Limbaugh, ‘The Queen of Political Extreme’ Ann Coulter, Bill O’Reilly, and Michelle Malkin (R)

* Then the Right Wing Crusaders join in and go after FOK News and Gore.  Of course, that means…
*
Rachel Maddow, Arianna Huffington, Markos Moulitsas, and Professor Paul Krugman (D)

* …the Angry Left Wing Bloggers have to come down and make it a full out free for all.
* ———————————
PCW REWIND- Last week on PCW:
*
Porky

vs.
Osama bin Laden

* Porky:
See that doorway over there?  You step in there and wait.

bin Laden goes to the door and opens it up.
bin Laden:
It’s dark.

Porky:
Don’t you want to be surprised?  That’s the back way up to the pen.  Go through the door and wait for a knock.

bin Laden:
That door over there?

Porky:
That door.  Wait for a knock, step through another door, and you’re in.  And the virgins will be waiting.

bin Laden goes inside and up the stairs.
Porky’s voice:
Are you ready?

bin Laden:
Yeah, I’m ready.

Porky’s voice:
Are you sure you’re ready?

bin Laden:
Yeah.  Come on.  Let’s go.

Porky’s voice:
Okay.  Here comes your night to remember!

* Suddenly, a trap door opens and bin Laden falls through the floor to the water below.  Porky leans over the railing.
* Porky:
How were the virgins?

*
*
PCW CEO Barack Obama (D)
Thank you…thank you.  I can report to PCW fans, the American people, and to the world that the United States has conducted an operation that killed Osama bin Laden, the leader of al Qaeda, and a terrorist who’s responsible for the murder of thousands of innocent men, women and children
*
Rush Limbaugh (R)
I, me, my, three of the most used words in your media appearance last night, not a single intelligence adviser, not a single national security adviser, military adviser, came up with the idea…not one of them… according to you, had the ability to understand the need to get DNA. This was your message last nightThank God for you. If you wouldn’t have been there, who knows what would’ve happened.
*
Sean Hannity (R)
…This isn’t political for me. This is about the safety and security of our country and in that sense, nothing is political. Anyone who does the right thing, I’m on board with.  Now do you notice in this case that President Obama acted unilaterally.  He didn’t seek out approval from the U.N. or NATO, or even Pakistan. And Pakistan is saying that they violating their sovereignty by killing Bin Laden. That fine — being a conservative, I’m fine with it. It’s exactly the kind of thing we have been arguing and we have been in favor of for years…
* The Axis of Evil: ‘Iran’s Weapon of Mass Destruction’ Khalid-El, Byung Hyung Kang, and Fernando Venezuela w/Mahmoud Ahmadinejad- President of Iran, Kim Song-Il- dictator of North Korea, and Hugo Chavez- dictator of Venezuela
vs.
‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott (R), Daniel-San (I), and Yamamoto Tanaka (D)

…Daniel-San has Kang in the Cattle Mutilation again!  Khalid-El throws Tanaka aside and charges towards him.  Biden, still stuck in the ring, gets up and gets crushed by Khalid-El.
* BUT…he knocks the Iranian Weapon of Mass Destruction off course and Kevin Scott somehow manages to pull down the top rope, sending Khalid-El over the top.  Tanaka has Venezuela up top for the Japanese SuperDestroyer.  He hit it!
* Kang taps out to Daniel-San…Tanaka rolls up Venezuela and gets the pin.
* And that’s your PCW Replay from last week…
* Bill Simmons Interview
PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein interviews ESPN’s Bill Simmons backstage.  Bernstein asks him about his feud with Keith Olbermann.  Simmons states that Olbermann’s burned bridges at not one, not two, but THREE different companies.  He’s the last person who should be telling people how to act.  No one wants to hear it from him.  Bernstein notes Olbermann’s response that Simmons has never had a show on TV.   Simmons says he wished Olbermann good luck on his new show on Torrent TV…or whatever cable channel with minimal viewers he’s at.
* Last week: PCW House Show-Greenville, SC

Pippa Middleton dances in her bra for the PCW crowd.

* Suave introduces Pippa again and she comes out and dances on top of the PCW Broadcast table.
*

MAIN EVENT:
‘Pizza Delivery Guy’ Josh Jackson
HT: 6′ 4″ WT: 235
HOME: Ft. Lauderdale, FL


w/Herman Cain (R)


and ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin

vs.
RINO- The Wonk Machine (R)
HT: 6′ 0″  WT: 275
HOME: Detroit, MI
FIN: Spear!
* Here we go. Lock up and to the mat with a leg lock is Jackson.  RINO forces a break, rights by RINO, corner whip and then a reversal and a basement dropkick by the Pizza Delivery Guy takes down RINO.  Jackson goes for a springboard- RINO catches him in mid-air and belly to belly suplex.  Leg drop by RINO, forearms and then a whip.  Elbow by RINO and then up top… Tessa Martin crotches him on the top turnbuckle.
* Jackson drivesRINO to the floor.  The Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl again gets involved by nailing RINO with a chairshot on the floor.  Herman Cain brings over a ladder and sets it up.  Jackson goes up- top ladder elbow drop and RINO curls up in pain.  Back to the ring goes Jackson.  RINO joins him and eats a couple forearms shots from Jackson.  Irish whip into a hesitation tornado DDT by Jackson.  Jackson for the cover…RINO kicks out.  Slingshot cross body by Jackson for another cover.  RINO out at 2.
RINO catches Jackson on a lariat attempt and dispatches him out of the ring.  RINO slams Jackson onto the security barrier.  Corkscrew leg drop from the barrier by RINO.  Tessa over but RINO has the ladder.  RINO steamrolls Martin with the ladder and lays her out on the floor.  Jackson with a chair- *WHACK*  RINO staggers right into a basement dropkick by Jackson.  Camel clutch on the ladder by Jackson now.  He slams RINO face first into the ladder and busts him open.  Again, Jackson slams RINO into the ladder.   Then he pulls RINO up and tosses him back into the ring.   Leg drop by Jackson.  He makes the cover- RINO barely kicks out at 2.
*
Jackson whips RINO to the other corner.  Another whip, reversal and Jackson eats the corner turnbuckle.  RINO slams Jackson face first into the turnbuckle.  RINO goes for the spear…he MISSES and slams into the corner ringpost.  Moonsault by Jackson.  Cover…1…2-
*

Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit

Big Oil pulls Jackson and tosses him out of the ring through a table.   Walstreit lifts RINO up and spikes him with the Stock Market Plunge.
*
NO CONTEST @ 8:54
*

Donald Trump (R)

Trump walks out at the end, clapping his hands as Big Oil and Walstreit celebrate in the ring.
—————————————
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*
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