2010 PCW Christmas Show

010 PCW Christmas Show
Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon
Wauseon, Ohio
Taped Wednesday December 23rd, 2010
Host: Johnny Suave
OPEN
“PCW…PCW!” chants the crowd as Johnny Suave welcomes everyone to the 2010 PCW Christmas Extravaganza. “I am Johnny Suave,” he says. He points to the appropriately Christmasy dressed life-size cardboard cut-out of Shania Twain. “And if this ain’t a vision of Christmas I don’t know what is.”

The crowd agrees.
The bar and the ring are covered with Christmas decorations which immediately bring out…

…the Green World Order. The crowd boos as PeaceNick and GreenPete, Peta from PETA, and Vegan Brock Cole Lee come out to the ring.  Suave says he has a feeling his Christmas spirit is about to get sucked right out of him.  PeaceNick gets on the mic and screeches: “WE’RE CHANGING EVERYTHING!”
More boos.
PeaceNick complains about the Christmas decorations and says it’s insensitive to non-Christians. Peta from PETA chimes in about cutting down ‘poor, innocent pine trees’ by ax-wielding murderers to be used as Christmas trees. “How would you like it if someone chopped your feet off and drug you home and put ornaments and lights all over you?”
“I’m game!” someone shouted back. Peta responds ‘y0u’re sick’ and demands that the Christmas décor be removed.
This brings out…

Bill O’Reilly
…O’Reilly first complements one of the waitress in Hack’s who’s dressed in a sexy Santa outfit complete with a mistletoe necklace and green and red fishnet stockings.  The crowd bows down and chants: “We’re not worthy!” “I don’t think so,” O’Reilly tells the GWO. “I’m standing up against this War on Christmas.  If you pinheads don’t like the Christmas decorations, there’s the door and don’t let it hit you on your ass when you leave.”
“I completely agree!”  The crowd turns; it’s…

‘The Alaskan Pitbull’ Sarah Palin (R)
Palin receives a standing ovation from the crowd.  This infuriates Peta who again demands that Hack’s take down all the Christmas decorations…or else.
This, of course, brings out Politically Incorrect in the guise of Santa (Nic) Koteen and his ‘elf’ Al Cahall. Koteen carries a huge bag of goodies over his shoulder into the ring. “HO, HO, HO,” he bellows. “And no, I’m not talking about you, Peta.”
Peta becomes offended and orders the GWO to attack.  PeaceNick confronts Koteen and gets belted in the head with the bag of goodies.   GreenPete tries the same thing and gets a face-full of bag of stuff as well.  Brock Cole Lee gets the same treatment.  Koteen and Cahall get an ‘evil’ grin as they zero in on the last remaining member of the GWO in the ring- Peta.   Peta tries to beg off and slip out of the ring.  Palin grabs her by the collar and yanks her back in.  She turns to Santa Koteen and says Peta’s all yours, boys.  Peta is pushed into the waiting arms of Koteen.  “Ho, ho, ho!” he bellows again as Cahall scoops up Peta and carries her over his shoulder. “Put me down!” Peta screeches. She beats on Cahall’s back as he takes her out of the ring up to a wooden support beam just off the stage.
“We’ll get back to that in a second,” Suave announces. “But, we have a song that’s supposed to play.”

GreenPete comes to and sees Peta outside the ring.   Koteen and Cahall have her duct taped to the support beam and are now decorating her with Christmas ornaments and lighting.  He starts throwing a fit.   Cahall places a Christmas Angel on the top of Peta’s head.  GreenPete grabs a mic and tells everyone that he’s finally realized the only way to defeat extremism is to be just as extreme.  He challenges Politically Incorrect, Koteen and Cahall oblige and we have an impromptu match.
MATCH #1
GreenPete and PeaceNick w/Brock Cole Lee of the Green World Order (D)
vs.
Politically Incorrect: Nic Koteen and Al Cahall (Tea Party)
GreenPete starts along with Nic Koteen.  GreenPete immediately rips off his Green World Order t-shirt and wraps it around Koteen’s neck. “Okay. That’s not a pacifist way of dealing with things,” Suave observes.
GreenPete uses the shirt to whip Koteen through the ropes onto the floor below. He then takes the Santa bag full of goodies and beats him over the head with it over and over. “That’s definitely not a pacifist way either,” Suave says.
Al Cahall tries to intervene but GreenPete swings the heavy bag and clocks Cahall in the face. Brock Cole Lee comes over and throws Cahall off the stage and through a front row table. “That’s MOST definitely not a pacifist way,” Suave says.
GreenPete grabs a strand of Christmas lights and wraps it around Koteen’s throat. “Okay, he’s snapped,” Suave says. “This goes beyond extreme!” The referee comes over to break the hold. Greenpete flings him into the ring steps. Horrified, PeaceNick tries to intervene.  He tells his partner that this is ‘not the right path.’  GreenPete tosses Koteen to the ground and sticks his foot on his chest.  A second referee races out and counts out Koteen.
WINNER: GREENPETE AND BROCK COLE LEE @ 3:11

After the match, GreenPete untapes Peta from the support beam.  He and PeaceNick argue about the ‘extreme’ measures GreenPete took to defeat Politically Incorrect as they walk back to the locker room.

MATCH #2
Andy Riley (D)
vs.
Josh Jackson (R)
Arianna Huffington leads Riley out to the ring.  ‘The Mastermind’ Karl Rove accompanies Jackson ringside.
The bell rings and the match isn’t five seconds old when GreenPete and Brock Cole Lee of the Green World Order jump The Mastermind outside the ring.  Jackson is momentarily thrown off which gives Riley a free shot at him from behind.  Riley shoves Jackson into the corner turnbuckle and bounces his head off the steel ringpost. GreenPete throws a table into the ring and he and Brock Cole Lee drape the dazed Jackson across it.  They tell Riley to climb to the top.  He does and leaps off, putting Jackson through the table.  Riley covers and gets the win.
WINNER: Andy Riley @ 3:30
Suave can’t believe it.  He notes that it looks like the GWO is going to rampage through PCW tonight.
John Boehner’s (R) New Office
The Mastermind stumbles back to Boehner’s office.  The incoming leader of the PCW Competition Committee sees Rove and wonders what the **** is going on out there?  Rove explains that the radical left are trying to take over the show.  Boehner says he’ll put a stop to it right now.   He dials the phone and calls Nancy Pelosi.
“Hello…Nancy? John Boehner!  Look, do you mind controlling your left-wing extremists?……What? What do you mean you don’t have time for this…hello…HELLO?” Boehner slams down the phone.
Suave: “Well, that didn’t go very well now didn’t it?”

*MUSIC- whale song over a Ritchie Havens tune*
All four members of the Green World Order (GreenPete, Peta from PETA, PeaceNick, and Vegan Brock Cole Lee) and their attorneys come out.
Brock Cole Lee says he’ll tell everyone again, the Christmas decorations are offensive to those who are not Christians.  Lee says he’ll ask nicely just one more time for Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon to please remove the offensive display immediately.  Lee then drops a bombshell- he went ahead and procured an injunction against the bar to protect the rights of those who are offended by religious displays and who don’t want it shoved in their face.
*“CAUTION! YOU’RE IN A NO-SPIN ZONE”*
Fox News’s Bill O’Reilly comes out.
O’Reilly tells the GWO he’s sick and tired of the war on Christmas they are waging!  Lee wants to know what O’Reilly’s going to do about it and waves the injunction around.  O’Reilly waves to the back and Politically Incorrect- Nic Koteen and Al Cahall come out.
Lee says that not only does he have a piece of paper that says that cease and desist, I’ve got the man who’s viewership has doubled over the year on my side (Felcher waves to the back) Come on out, Keith.

Keith Olbermann
Keith Olbermann, O’Reilly’s arch-enemy, comes out.
O’Reilly isn’t fazed.  He says Olbermann has one-third of his audience.
Then Peta from PETA and GreenPete drag out ‘The Alaskan Pitbull Sarah Palin who has a garland wrapped around her neck.
O’Reilly becomes incensed and calls it another blatant cheap shot against Palin.  He rushes Olbermann and a referee calls for the bell.
MATCH #3
Brock Cole Lee and GreenPete w/PeaceNick of the Green World Order and Keith Olbermann of MSNBC (D)
vs.
Politically Incorrect: Nic Koteen and Al Cahall (Tea Party) and Bill O’Reilly from Fox News (R)
Nic Koteen brings a toy box full of weapons to the ring. Al Cahall and GreenPete start in the ring. Peta continues to choke out Palin with the garland.   The Alaskan Pitbull falls to the floor.  O’Reilly and Olbermann brawl on the outside and Koteen opens the toy box. In the ring, GreenPete takes control with an elbow drop and a dropkick.   Cahall hits a reverse DDT on GreenPete.   Koteen grabs some lights out of the toy box and wraps a strand around Brock Cole Lee’s neck.  Kick by Cahall.
Peta from PETA handcuffs Palin to the bottom rope and goes to get a chair.

Suave wonders what’s going on.

Yamamoto Tanaka and Reika Kisaurgi (D)

Suave: “TANAKA AND REIKA?”  He recaps the major screw job on Tanaka by fellow Democrats Triple R and ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism at PCW Extreme Election Night and how he’s been on a path of destruction since.
Suave: “WHAT IS HE GOING TO DO?”
Tanaka runs down and clotheslines Peta from PETA just as she’s ready to plaster Palin with the steel chair.
Suave: “HOLY CRAP!”
Brock Cole Lee runs over to Tanaka.  Tanaka stops him with a kick to the midsection.  He then empties out the toy box and dumps the box over Ruff’s head.  Tanaka picks up the chair and crushes it over the box.   Lee’s out.  Peta tries to get a cheap shot in but Tanaka grabs her and powerbombs her through the bellkeeper’s table.
Suave: “HOLY CRAP!  TANAKA’S TURNED!  TANAKA’S TURNED ON THE DEMOCRATS!”
Koteen puts the remnants of the toy box over GreenPete’s head and DDT’s him. Koteen wraps his fist full of Christmas lights and dives on top of GreenPete, crushing the glass lights in his forehead.

Triple R (D), ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D) w/’The Genius’ Stephen Hawking
Triple R slingshots himself into the ring and lands on Koteen.  Chism attacks Tanaka.  Tanaka picks him up by the throat and throws him across the floor.  Tanaka pulls out a ladder and sets it up on the ring steps.  Exploder suplex into the ladder by Tanaka.
Suave: “HOLY CRAP!”
Tanaka unlocks Palin’s and she immediately goes after Olbermann.  She jumps on his back and starts choking him. Olbermann staggers backwards and crushes Palin against the ladder.  O’Reilly dives at Olbermann and splashes him into the ladder.
Triple R goes for a half-nelson half-tiger suplex; Koteen reverses and flings him over the top rope.  Tanaka whips Triple R into the ladder!   Cahall rolls out of the ring.  GreenPete follows and goes for his through the 1st and 2nd rope swinging DDT, but Tanaka pulls up a barricade and GreenPete gets a face full of steel.  He’s busted wide open.   Koteen pulls the ladder in between the barricade and the ring (propped up) and bombs GreenPete into the barricade in the corner.  He now pulls out a table and sets it up ON TOP OF THE LADDER!
Suave: “WHAT IS HE DOING?”
The ladder is bent and looks very flimsy!  Koteen hits his finisher ‘The Smoker’ on GreenPete and puts him through the table and ladder.
Palin pulls up Peta from PETA, puts her over her knee, and spanks her.
Peta: “THAT’S CORPORAL PUNISHMENT! YOU CAN’T DO THAT! IT’S ILLEGAL!”
Tanaka throws Brock Cole Lee back into the ring.  Koteen makes the cover.  1…2…3.
WINNER: Politically Incorrect @ 14:25
Suave: “THAT’S GOING TO DO IT!  PCW WISHES EVERYONE A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS AND WE’LL SEE YOU IN 2011!”

Replay of Barack Obama in Bill Clinton’s Hot Tub: 12/20 PCW Extreme Political TV Report

PCW Extreme Political TV (1 hr)
Tsongas Center
Lowell, Massachusetts
Monday December 20th
Hosted by Johnny Suave
Suave recapped the wild handicap match last week between former PCW Champion Yamamoto Tanaka (D) and Triple R/’The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D).
Replay: End of last week’s Tanaka vs. Triple R/Chism match
Tanaka charges but gets nailed by Triple R with another chairshot.  Reika races across the ring to catch Triple R with a flying knee but Chism lariats her and she hits the mat hard.   Triple R puts the chair on Tanaka!  Up to the top rope…..DOUBLE STOMP TO THE CHAIR!! Both Triple R and Chism with the cover…..1…….2………..3!
In the back, Paige McGillicutty…

Paige McGillicutty
…is with Tanaka and Reika Kisaurgi.  Reika admits that Tanaka took a nasty beating last week, but isn’t hurt too bad.  She says Triple R and Stone Chism had better get the picture.  Tanaka’s pissed now and they will pay dearly for what they’ve done.
Suave announces that Tanaka will face Republican Kevin Scott tonight.  He also announces the main event will be a title match.  The International Hit Squad (‘Foul Pole’ Andrew Golatta/Daniel-San) (I) put their PCW Tag Team Title on the line against the team of Charlie Blackwell and ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido (I).
MATCH #1

SNAFU (Amer. Heartland)
vs.
Jordan Metzger (D)

MATCH SUMMARY
SNAFU must have been hitting the Sabu/ECW DVD’s again as he came out and hit a sweet dive into the crowd a minute into the match.  At three and a half minutes, he nails an awesome Air SNAFU from the ring, over the railing through a table.  This time though, Metzger moved.  At five minutes, Metzger gets his boot hung up in the turnbuckle.  SNAFU crotches him over the top rope, then gets on the other side of the corner’s rope and gets a Huracanrana!! SNAFU covers…two count.  Some battling before Metzger tries the Camel Clutch at the 7:25 mark.  SNAFU gets out of it into an Achilles lock! Roll up by SNAFU for 2!  More battling before Metzger hits a backpack chinbreaker at 9:00 and gets a two count.  SNAFU turns it around and drapes Metzger over the second rope.  SNAFU hits a splash!  1…2…kickout from Metzger.  Triple Jump Moonsault dodged by Metzger.  SNAFU gets a spinning DDT anyways!  He covers…

Code Pink (D)

Emily List (D)
List and Code Pink hit the ring and make the save.  Metzger hits a Superkick to the midsection at 11:00!  Metzger goes for the win.

Tequila Sheila (Amer. Heartland)
Sheila makes the save and takes out Code Pink and Emily List with her blender.  SNAFU drills Metzger in the back with a chair and then goes Arabian Facebuster on him.  1…2…3.
WINNER: SNAFU @ 12:36
As SNAFU celebrates, Suave recaps last week’s episode of Bill Clinton’s Hot Tub…

Bill Clinton’s Hot Tub with Bill Clinton!

PCW CEO Barack Obama
Obama, already in the hot tub, shakes Clinton’s hand.  Clinton wishes that Barack’s lovely wife…

Michelle Obama
…could join them in the hot tub.  Obama: “Not a chance in hell, Bill.”
Clinton heartily endorses the stimulus message that Obama and his staff have been sending out in defense of the tax compromise the PCW CEO struck with Republican Minority Leader of the Executive Committee Mitch McConnell.   Clinton: “This will result in the best economic result for the workers of PCW.”  Obama thanks Clinton for his support.
PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein and Backstage Reporter Paige McGillicutty then showed up for an impromptu press conference.  Obama, clearly uncomfortable, made it clear that he would speak only briefly.  Clinton, clearly relishing the moment, said that he felt awkward being there.  Obama: “Not half as awkward as I feel.”
Clinton then went off at length about the PCW tax deal, about Hong Kong stimulus, the Haitian prime minister, green energy investors in Nevada, what to do about those two pesky woodchucks in the Geico commercial, and the number of events he did supporting Democratic candidates for the PCW Competition and Executive Committee in 2010.

“I had quite a good time governing,” Clinton said while Obama watched stoically from the side as Bernstein and McGillicutty peppered him with questions.  “I’m glad to be here because I think the CEO made a good decision, and because I want PCW to do well.”

Bernstein finally got around to ask Obama a question and gave him a chance to regain control of the press conference.  Obama tried to lean back into the shot but Clinton elbowed him out of the way.   Obama then leaned over and said his wife had been waiting for him for a half hour at a previously mentioned holiday party and he was going to leave.  Clinton: “I don’t want to make her mad.  Please go.”
Clinton held court until Bernie Sanders, still filibustering, arrived to filibuster at the hot tub.  Clinton tried to dissuade Sanders from joining him.  But, with his back to the camera, Sanders took off his robe and jumped into the hot tub.  Much to Clinton’s horror, he continued to filibuster.
PCW RANKINGS:
PCW CHAMPION: Jill Berg (R)
PCW TELEVISION CHAMPION: Ken Worth-American Trucker (I-American Heartland)
PCW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: The International Hit Squad: ‘The Foul Pole’ Andy Golatta/Daniel-San (I)
SINGLES CONTENDERS:
#1- Triple R (D)
#1- Stone Chism (D)
#3- Yamamoto Tanaka (D)
#4- Kevin Scott (R)
#5- SNAFU (Amer. Heartland)
TAG TEAM CONTENDERS:
#1- ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido and Charlie Blackwell (I-American Heartland)
#2- Big Oil and Big Electric (R)
#3- The Kings of Old School: Ricky Michaels and Marty Lane (D)
#4- Jack and Joe Schmidt (I-Libertarian)
#5- Blue Dog D (D) and RINO-The Wonk Machine (R)
MATCH #2

Yamamoto Tanaka (D)
vs.

‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott
Big elimination match between Tanaka and Scott.  Scott needed this to get back in title contention but this wouldn’t be his night.

Tanaka (in white trunks) took it right to Scott from the get-go.  He threw the American Citizen out of the ring and beat on him with a 2 x 4 board.

Scott didn’t fare much better in the ring.  Tanaka whipped him with the 2 x 4 and snapped the board in half.

After spending the first five minutes of the match beating the living hell out of Scott, Tanaka went to the ground and isolated the arm.

Tanaka tossed Scott out of the ring again.  They briefly brawled into the crowd but came back.  Tanaka has him up and is about to toss him back into the ring.
End Match Summary
Scott is exhausted.  Tanaka takes him up to the top turnbuckle…JAPANESE SUPERDESTROYER!  1…2…3.
WINNER: Yamamoto Tanaka @ 7:59
Suave: “Tanaka totally dismantles ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott.”
Post match, Tanaka’s manager Reika gets on the mic.

Valet: Reika Kisuargi
Reika says that practice makes perfect and then says that there’s a lot of things on the line.  Tonight was just practice.  The next time Tanaka steps in the ring with either Triple R or Stone Chism he will take it to the next level and leave them both bloodied, beaten, and destroyed.
—————————–
TUNE IN FRIDAY NIGHT- DECEMBER 24TH FOR PCW’S CHRISTMAS SHOW
—————————-
MAIN EVENT FOR THE PCW TAG TEAM TITLE

Charlie Blackwell and ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido w/Kenzie Blair (Amer. Heartland)
vs.

‘Foul Pole’ Andy Golatta and Daniel-San w/Mrs. Miyagi (I) (c)
Golatta and Daniel-San to defend their title against the #1 ranked challengers Charlie Blackwell and ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido.  This match was a wild affair.

Early on, all four men in the ring.  Blackwell and Escondido (in jeans) work some tag team double-teaming on Golatta (black trunks).  Daniel-San (red trunks) is down on the canvas.

It didn’t take long for plunder to introduce itself to the match.  Golatta brought in a chair and cleaned house on Blackwell and Escondido.

Tanaka for the pin but he’s about to feel the sting of a Singapore caneshot from Blackwell.

Daniel-San slipped in and caught Escondido in a pinning predicament.  Escondido would kick out at 2.

Blackwell runs for the hills as Golatta stalks Escondido on the outside.

With Escondido out of the way (see steel chair next to Daniel-San’s foot), Daniel-San and Golatta go to work on Blackwell.
End Match Summary
…Golatta with a half-nelson backbreaker from the top rope!!! 1….2….NO!!  Somehow, Blackwell kicked out.  He rolls out of the ring and tries to get his bearings back.  He runs right into Daniel-San who Belly-to-Back drops Blackwell THROUGH THE TIME KEEPER’S TABLE!!
Suave: “HOLY CRAP!”
The ref starts to count.  Escondido gets over there and helps him up!  The ref is at 19!  Blackwell just makes it in and is greeted with a gutbuster from Golatta!  He covers…1….2…NO!  Blackwell gets the shoulder up at the last second.   He crawls to the ropes…Golatta pulls him back.   Whip into the ropes by Golatta…clothesline from Blackwell!  Forearm! Two spinning heel kicks from Blackwell!  They trade punches now! Golatta gets a knee and a backbreaker! Another backbreaker! 1….2….KICKOUT!! Golatta whips Blackwell into the ropes…he winds…he punches… he misses LOW!   FOUL POLE!  FOUL POLE!  Blackwell drops like a rock.  Golatta covers…1…..2…3!
WINNER AND STILL PCW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: The International Hit Squad @ 15:25

Daniel-San and Golatta celebrate.

Suave reminds us about PCW’s Christmas Eve show and that’s all for this week.

Bristol Palin/???? vs. Keith Olbermann/Kathy Griffin: 12/13 PCW Extreme Political TV

PCW Extreme Political TV (1 hr)
Events Center
Binghamton, NY
Monday December 13th
Hosted by Johnny Suave
10 bell salute honoring the memory of Elizabeth Edwards.

After the fifth bell, congregates from the Westboro Baptist Church of Topeka, Kansas, known to picket military and celebrity funerals, came out from the back and protested.
Suave: “What the hell are they doing here?  Who let them in?”
The crowd booed and drowned them out.  Then the group started holding up posters denigrating Edwards for her stance on gay marriage.
Suave: “Aw, come on.  This is not the time or place-”
Suddenly, the crowd began to heave chairs at the group.  Soon, they were buried in an avalanche of steel-folding chairs.
Crowd: “PCW…PCW…PCW!”
The PCW Clean-Up crew comes out to scrape up the church members and in the ring…no, it’s not ‘The Voice of PCW’ Johnny Suave.  It’s…

Bernie Sanders (I)
…Bernie Sanders and he’s filibustering tonight’s show.  Suave tries to talk from his broadcast vantage point but he can’t get Sanders to shut up.  Suave runs down tonight’s card that features two huge matches:
Former PCW Champion Yamamoto Tanaka (D) takes on the two men who help cost him the PCW Title- Triple R (D) and ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D), in a handicap match.
Bristol Palin, who was attacked at last week’s show by Keith Olbermann and Kathy Griffin, gets her chance at payback when she and a mystery partner takes on Olbermann and Griffin in tonight’s main event.
Sanders continues to talk.  Suave throws it to the back and…

Bill Clinton’s Hot Tub with Bill Clinton!
Bill introduces this week’s very special guest…

PCW CEO Barack Obama
Obama, already in the hot tub, shakes Clinton’s hand.  Clinton wishes that Barack’s lovely wife…

Michelle Obama
…could join them in the hot tub.  Obama: “Not a chance in hell, Bill.”

Clinton heartily endorses the stimulus message that Obama and his staff have been sending out in defense of the tax compromise the PCW CEO struck with Republican Minority Leader of the Executive Committee Mitch McConnell.   Clinton: “This will result in the best economic result for the workers of PCW.”  Obama thanks Clinton for his support.
PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein and Backstage Reporter Paige McGillicutty then showed up for an impromptu press conference.  Obama, clearly uncomfortable, made it clear that he would speak only briefly.  Clinton, clearly relishing the moment, said that he felt awkward being there.  Obama: “Not half as awkward as I feel.”
Clinton then went off at length about the PCW tax deal, about Hong Kong stimulus, the Haitian prime minister, green energy investors in Nevada, what to do about those two pesky woodchucks in the Geico commercial, and the number of events he did supporting Democratic candidates for the PCW Competition and Executive Committee in 2010.

“I had quite a good time governing,” Clinton said while Obama watched stoically from the side as Bernstein and McGillicutty peppered him with questions.  “I’m glad to be here because I think the CEO made a good decision, and because I want PCW to do well.”

Bernstein finally got around to ask Obama a question and gave him a chance to regain control of the press conference.  Obama tried to lean back into the shot but Clinton elbowed him out of the way.   Obama then leaned over and said his wife had been waiting for him for a half hour at a previously mentioned holiday party and he was going to leave.  Clinton: “I don’t want to make her mad.  Please go.”
Clinton held court until Bernie Sanders, still filibustering, arrived to filibuster at the hot tub.  Clinton tried to dissuade Sanders from joining him.  But, with his back to the camera, Sanders took off his robe and jumped into the hot tub.  Much to Clinton’s horror, he continued to filibuster.
As Sanders talked, Clinton quickly wrapped up the show.

Paige McGillicutty
Backstage, Paige has Bristol and Willow Palin with her.

Willow and Bristol Palin
Paige asks Bristol about what took place last week on PCW Extreme Political TV when Keith Olbermann and Kathy Griffin attacked on her.  Olbermann later in the week said Bristol Palin is contributing to teen pregnancies by this “idiotic, never-works strategy of abstinence.”  Bristol shoots back that obviously Mr. Olbermann has never made a mistake in his life…and that accusing her of hypocrisy is by now, “an old canard.”  As for Griffin, Bristol said this: “The audience’s reaction to this ‘comedian’ spoke volumes, and the decent people I know would probably have booed her, too…I hope people didn’t have to pay money to hear her negativity and criticisms.”
Paige asks who’s the mystery wrestler who’ll be with Bristol.  Willow replies maybe it’s her…maybe it’s someone else in PCW.  Either way, she’s tired of her family being attacked and now it’s time to kick some ass.
Suave is back and it’s time for the first match.  The lovely, leggy Kimber Marshall is in the ring.

Kimber Marshall
Marshall begins to introduce the first match of the night when Bill Clinton comes to the ring.  Clinton compliments Marshall for the great job she does week in and week out but he has a few more things to say.  He first calls out the former PCW Champion Yamamoto Tanaka.  Tin Machine’s Under the God blares as Tanaka, accompanied by Reika Kisaurgi, comes to the ring.

Yamamoto Tanaka and Reika Kisaurgi (D)
Suave notes he doesn’t look too happy.
Clinton then calls out Triple R and ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism.

Road Rage Randy (Triple R) (D) and ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D) w/’The Genius Stephen Hawking

‘The Genius’ Stephen Hawking

Clinton tries to mediate the feud between Tanaka and Triple R/Stone Chism by reminding them that they’re all Democrats and they need to stick together.  Reika responds that Tanaka did not start this.  It was Triple R and Chism who attacked him at Extreme Election Night and caused him to lose the title to Republican Jill Berg.

Chism rebuts Reika and says that if Tanaka was as strong of champion as he claimed to be, he would have shook off the ‘practice’ that he and Triple R gave him and won the match.  Clinton bites his lips and notes that he profoundly understands everyone’s frustation and feels their pain.  However, Clinton wants both sides to come with him to the back and talk this out.  Triple R responds that the time for talk is over.  He wants the PCW title and will do anything to win it.  Triple R charges past Clinton towards Tanaka.   Tanaka grabs him by the throat and choke slams him to the mat.
Clinton bails from the ring.
End Match Summary
Chism ducks a clothesline from Tanaka.  HURRACANRANA!!  Chism covers.  Tanaka kicks out at one.  Reverse elbow by Tanaka into a spinning back kick to the gut.  Big running boot to the temple!  Spear by Tanaka!  …..1…….Triple R makes the save with a chairshot on Tanaka!  Triple R attacks again with a second chairshot.  He goes for a third…Reika’s in the ring and she stops Triple R.  Triple R flings her out of the ring, but turns right around…SIT DOWN POWERBOMB BY TANAKA!   Cover…1…….2…no.  Chism with a boot to save the three-count!  Reika back in the ring now with some forerarms for Chism and they pair off in opposite corners with Tanaka parking Triple R on the top turnbuckle and Reika whipping Chism across the ring into Triple R.  Tanaka charges but gets nailed by Triple R with another chairshot.  Reika races across the ring to catch Triple R with a flying knee but Chism lariats her and she hits the mat hard.   Triple R puts the chair on Tanaka!  Up to the top rope…..DOUBLE STOMP TO THE CHAIR!! Both Triple R and Chism with the cover…..1…….2………..3!
WINNER: “The One Man Hollywood A-List” Stone Chism and Triple R (D) @ 18:05

Suave calls it a major upset.  Then Bernie Sanders returns and he’s still filibustering.   Suave throws it to the back.
Backstage- Republican Conference Room
There’s a huge back and forth going on concerning ‘The Alaskan Pitbull’ Sarah Palin and whether or not she’s qualified to become the next PCW CEO.  Meg Whitman and other members of the ‘establishment’ including ‘The Mastermind’ Karl Rove argue that she isn’t.  Bobby Jindal retorts that Palin can win.
Someone mentions that Bristol Palin is about to wrestle Keith Olbermann and Kathy Griffin.  Should they send someone out for backup?  Again, no consensus and more bickering back and forth.
Suave wonders if that’s a bad sign for Bristol seeing as no one knows who’s going to be her partner.
BCS Chairman Bill Hancock is in the ring, and ignoring Bernie Sanders, to once again stick up for the BCS.

Bill Hancock
BCS Commissioner
Crowd: “BCS sucks!  BCS sucks!”
Hancock says we’ve been called communists, a cartel, crooks — and worse — but that’s malarkey.  He’s proud to stand up and point out why college football is so popular and why our system works so well.  Hancock takes exception to the BCS being equated with commies and a cartel?  He says the BCS is a voluntary arrangement that benefits every university in the NCAA’s Bowl Subdivision and has provided all schools with more revenue and more access to the major bowl games than ever before.
The crowd boos.
Hancock maintains that if ever a season showed that the BCS is fair and that it works, it’s this season. And it happened while maintaining the thrilling regular season in which every game-
Chairs begin to fly into the ring again and Hancock is buried.   Crowd: “WE WANT A PLAYOFF! (clap, clap clap-clap-clap)…WE WANT A PLAYOFF! (clap, clap clap-clap-clap)
Suave notes that the PCW Clean Up Crew will have to clean the ring up again.
Backstage, Paige McGillicutty with Triple R and ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism and she asks them about stealing a win from Yamamoto Tanaka earlier in the show.   Triple R immediately takes offense and reminds her that Tanaka couldn’t even beat Jill Berg.  Chism says not even Bill Clinton can stop them from doing what needs to be done- returning the PCW title to the Democrats.  McGillicutty tries to ask them why they screwed a fellow Democrat (Tanaka) out of the PCW title then but the pair leave.
MAIN EVENT:

Bristol Palin and ???? (R)
vs.

Kathy Griffin and Keith Olbermann (D)
Willow Palin is in Bristol’s corner.  Suave wonders where Bristol’s partner is.
Bill Clinton comes to the broadcast table and sits in with Suave.  Clinton then launches into a long-winded soliloquy about who Bristol’s partner could be.  Bristol looks concerned as the bell is about to ring.  Olbermann and Griffin shout at the Palin girls.  The Palin girls return fire.  The referee calls for the bell…
THUMP
THUMP
THUMP-THUMP-THUMP
The crowd roars.

PCW Champion Jill Berg (R) w/Daisy Cutter-Bomb
Clinton: “Well, I’ll be damned.”

THUMP
THUMP
THUMP-THUMP-THUMP
The video screen goes to just outside a dressing room in the back. A police escort is waiting at the door. One of the policemen knocks on the door.
Policeman – Ms. Berg.   It’s time.
The door opens and four large male bodybuilding types walk out of the dressing room surrounding a petite woman, her male assistant, Jerry, and Daisy Cutter-Bomb.  Berg and Daisy run towards the ring.
THUMP
THUMP
THUMP-THUMP-THUMP
The crowd chants “JILL-BERG…JILL-BERG…”
THUMP
THUMP
THUMP-THUMP-THUMP
“JILL-BERG…JILL-BERG…”
The procession emerges from the back and starts their way down the ramp. The male assistant has a microphone and a portable tape recorder. He flips it on.
“JILL-BERG…JILL-BERG…”
The group then continues towards the ring leaving the police escort behind.
“JILL-BERG…JILL-BERG…”
Olbermann and Griffin rush across the ring and attack Bristol.  Willow wades in and throws a couple rights at Olbermann.  Griffin flings Bristol down by the hair.  Willow jumps on Griffin’s back and starts choking her out.
Berg and Daisy in the ring now.  Olbermann turns and eats a buzzsaw kick from Jill-Berg.  Daisy with a leg drop and then she pulls Olbermann up.
Griffin finally flips Willow over her head and the younger Palin lands on her back in the ring.  Griffin stomps at her.  Bristol grabs her from behind and plants her face first into the canvas.
Daisy charges at Olbermann…SPEAR!  Olbermann gets bent in half.  Daisy lifts him over her shoulder…JACKHAMMER SLAM!
Crowd: “JILLLLL-BERG…JILLLLLLL-BERG!”
Berg motions Bristol over to cover.  Griffin tries to grab her but Daisy kicks her in the midsection…DAISY CUTTER-POWERBOMB!  Bristol covers…1…2…3!
WINNER: Bristol Palin and PCW Champion Jill Berg @ 1:48
Crowd: “JILLLLL-BERG…JILLLLLLL-BERG!”
Clinton has taken over the broadcast and after a few closing remarks that take a few minutes the show ends.