Saturday, August 27, 2011

Jim Loves Emma, Callie Loves Hillary, and Valora Hates Everyone: PCW Week In Review

First it was Marine Sgt. Scott Moore asking actress Mila Kunis to the Marine Ball.  She accepted.
*
Then, Corporal Kelsey DeSantis asked Justin Timberlake to the Marine Ball.  He accepted.
*
And now…
*
Jim Carrey Professes His Love for Emma Stone
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FNqnjHrRscs
*
Which inspired this…
*
Noel Wells Professes Her Love for Jim Carrey
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ApTmE6-Yho&feature=grec_index
*
And then, this…
*
Kathy Griffin Professes Her Love for Justin Bieber
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pDRO7fGzSU8
*
And finally…this…
*
Jim Carrey Professes His Love for Emma Stone- Ace Ventura style
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IMqXfn7NBRw
*
What will Emma Stone do?  Stay tuned.
*
—————-
*
This week in the world of political extreme started off in Albany, New York where Hillary Clinton (D-NY) announced the Democrats top two wrestlers they will be pushing: #1 PCW Women’s Champion Callie Urban, #2 Kathryn Randall Collins aka KRC aka the artist formerly known as Katie Collins of the Triple Threat.
*
Callie says she’s always been a diehard Democrat and is a huge fan of Hillary Clinton.
*
It didn’t take long for Collins to make an impact…
*
Replay: Valora Salinas (I) vs. Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen (R) w/’Texas Cowgirl’ Haley Dallas (R)…Democrats Kathryn Randall Collins, Code Pink, Emily List, and Kelly and Korey Korver hit ringside and attack all three.  Code Pink blinds Valora with a ‘Glitter Bomb’ while KRC, List, and the Korvers double team Jones and Dallas...
*
The Triple Threat didn’t take too kindly to KRC leaving them at the altar like that so they brought in a real live American Girl, Sarah Mae Smith, to take her place.
*
…Smith clears out Code Pink and Emily List.  Jones blasts Kelly Korver with an Eskimo Pieface.  Valora finally clears her eyes and chases KRC from the ring.  Dallas lariats Korey Korver out…
*
The Triple Threat had a second problem…’The Queen of Extreme’ Valora Salinas who’s pretty much ticked off at everyone…
*
…Valora gets on the microphone and makes it clear that she is the Queen of Extreme and does not play second fiddle to anyone- Democrat or Republican.  Valora says that she respects Callie Urban but she doesn’t respect The Triple Threat after what they pulled on her a couple weeks ago.   She says all the security in the world won’t guarantee KRC or the Triple Threat’s safety.  They can fight her at the local Tim Horton’s or they can fight her in PCW- it doesn’t matter.
*
Valora: “Defeat me if you can.  Survive if I let you.”…
*
————————
*
PCW CEO Barack Obama announced on Monday that the Television Title was being done away with and replaced with a Women’s Tag Team Division.
*
…AC/DC’s ‘If You Want Blood’ plays and Angels of Death walks out.  They accept the belts from Joe Biden.  Biden wants to know if they received the bouquet of flowers that the DNC sent out to them.  Casey says yes and that they’ve made a decision.  Scott says in Missouri Valley Wrestling they were for making MVW better.  In PCW, they’re in it for themselves.  Casey and Scott pull off their shirts revealing t-shirts underneath covered by a myriad of corporate sponsors.  So they’ve joined the Republicans and are changing their names to Merchants of Death.   A stunned Obama and Biden watch as the MOD leave the ring with their new tag team belts…
*
Well, that worked out well.  So, Angel Scott and Angel Casey aka…Merchants of Death (R) have their belts, where does that leave the now former PCW Television Champion Daniel-San (I)?
*
…Daniel-San throws down the TV belt and leaves…
*
Actually, the real reason Daniel-San was miffed had to do with this four man tournament Obama cooked up for the upcoming PCW Lock and Load Pay Per View show on September 25th.
*
…There will be a four man tournament featuring the #1 Democratic wrestler, the #1 Republican wrestler, a wrestler who will be given a waiver into the tournament by PCW CEO Obama, and a fourth spot which will be a play-in spot.  The waiver match will be between Democrats ‘One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism and O’Beck Bahama…
*
That’s right, the former Television Champion will have to play his way in.  On Thursday night, Daniel-San began doing exactly that with an assist from Charlie Blackwell (I) and his Les Miserables.
*
Replay-ROUND ONE OF LOCK AND LOAD TOURNAMENT PLAY-IN: Daniel-San (I) w/Mrs. Miyagi vs. ‘The Self-Proclaimed Savior of the Middle Class’ Big Labor (D) vs. ‘Bureaucrat’ Andy Riley (D) vs. Kevin Collins of Paul Ryan’s Raiders (R)
…Daniel-San looks around and goes to the top.  Riley is looking away.  Daniel-San hits the five star frog splash! LABELL LOCK!  Blackwell has Big Labor locked up in the Tazzmission in the corner.  Riley taps…‘Bureaucrat’ Andy Riley eliminated
*
Daniel-San to the top of an adjacent corner.  Blackwell holds a chair on Big Labor’s face, VAN TERMINATOR!  Big Labor topples over.  Daniel-San quickly slaps on the Cattle Mutilation.  Big Labor taps…
*
Daniel-San wasn’t the only one who expressed his displeasure at the set up of the tournament…
*
…Triple R (D) comes out with the Daily Kos’s Markos Moutilsas (D), Jane Hamsher of Firedog Lake (D), and Katrina Vandenheuvel of The Nation (D) to complain about not being included in the Waiver Match.   Triple R says that PCW CEO Barack Obama is ignoring a significant faction of the Democrats just to push his own wrestler- O’Beck Bahama.  Bahama had his chance, got injured, and couldn’t cut it.  Triple R says he’s been screwed over one too many times and he doesn’t know if he can continue to support Obama.   He demands to be added to the match.
*
Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) and Harry Reid (D-NV) walk out.  They sympathize with Triple R.  They value Triple R.  So, they’ll make it a three-way dance for the Waiver Slot…
*
The match started well for Triple R.  He eliminated ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism with a reverse neckbreaker onto barbed wire.  But then Chism would factor in the finish of the match…
*
…Then Triple R sets up for it… YES YES YES!!! It’s the Road Rash!!!  But Bahama comes back with a Springboard elbow.  Triple R gets tied to the TREE OF WOE!!!   Bahama dropkicks a chair into Triple R’s face.  Triple R is busted open now.   Bahama then beats his ass while Triple R screams for help from Stone Chism.  Bahama applies the Bahama Backbreaker.   Here comes Chism with a steel chair.   He goes after Bahama…NO.  CHISM KILLS TRIPLE R with the chair shot!  Bahama covers…1…2…3…
*
So, three of the four spots for the Lock and Load Tournament have been filled: PCW Champion Yamamoto Tanaka (D)- the Democrats #1 wrestler, ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott (R)- the Republican’s #1, and now former PCW Champion O’Beck Bahama (D)- who won a Waiver into the match.
*
——————————
*
What to Look For This Week:
-Valora’s Path of Rage: after blowing up two women’s matches Thursday night on PCW Politics Is War, what will Valora do next?  And what does she want?
*
-An announcement concerning the future of PCW Champion’The Japanese SuperDestroyer’ Yamamoto Tanaka (D).  Has he signed on with a Japanese wrestling company?  Is he leaving Political Championship Wrestling?  Is there anything the Democrats can do to make him stay?
*
-An announcement concerning the status of ‘The Alaskan Pitbull’ Sarah Palin (R-AK) next weekend.  Is she going to vy for the Republican nomination for PCW CEO?  Is she going to be content with playing an active outside role?
*
Monday night, it’s PCW Extreme Political TV and then we are off for the Labor Day weekend.  No PCW Week In Review next Saturday.  PCW returns on Thursday September 8th with Politics Is War on P-SPAN and the final push towards PCW Lock and Load on the 25th.
*

No comments: