Friday, July 31, 2009

7/29 PCW Night of Champions

7/25- And Now a Special Message from Andrea Doria

7/26- PCW Newsline: PETA v. Andrea Doria, Obama’s Problems, PCW Rankings

7/28- Obama to Bring Miss USA/KRC Together for ‘Beer Meeting’…plus more

7/29- Axis of Evil Arrives/Extreme Weather/New TV and Tag Team Champions/Miss USA v. KRC
-Peta from PETA and 'The Princess of Political Incorrectness' Andrea Doria go to no contest due to outside interference
-Baron Von Munchke def. SNAFU for the PCW TV Title
-'No Frill's Chris Escondido and Starz N. Stripes def. Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit for the PCW Tag Team Title.
-KRC def. Miss USA
-O'Beck Bahama/Right Reverend Randy Richardson go to no contest due to outside interference.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

7/22-PCW Extreme Political TV

PCW Extreme Political TV
July 22th, 2009
Rosebud Theater, Effingham, Illinois
Host: Johnny Suave

*10 Bell Salute in Honor of the Late Myles Jake from Dream Wrestling Federation*


#1- Miss USA def. ‘Texas Cowgirl’ Haley Dallas for a shot at the PCW Women’s Title.

#2- ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido and Starz N. Stripes (Progressive Alliance) def. Jack Schett and Bull Schett (Ron Paul’s New Libertarian Army) vs. Cadillac and Jaguar (Total Eliminators) for #1 Contender and Tag Team Title shot.

#3- The Right Reverend Randy Richardson (The God Squad) def. A. Tom Bomb (American Patriots) with the winner getting a PCW Title shot.

#4- PCW Champion O'Beck Bahama and 60 year old Thom Watson go to a double countout.

Monday, July 20, 2009

7/19-PCW Newsline

7/19-PCW Newsline compiled by Gina Ramsey
-Recap of Last Week's PCW Extreme Political TV
-PCW News
-PCW Rankings
-Preview of Wednesday's PCW Extreme Political TV


RECAP OF LAST WEEK'S PCW EXTREME POLITICAL TV

Miss USA, complete with a different look and new theme music, defeated 'Trailer Park Skater Girl' Tanya Hardy with the White Trash Posse with the Patriot Missile dropkick.

Post match, Movie Classic and the Island of Misfit Wrestlers surround the ring but Miss USA is able to talk her way out of trouble when she recognizes the movie Movie Classic is quoting.

That impresses the President of the PCW Competition Committee Nancy Pelosi who vows to get Miss USA on the Progressive Alliance side. She announces that Miss USA will face 'Texas Cowgirl' Haley Dallas next week with the winner getting a shot at the PCW Women's title. Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen is furious at this development and Eskimo Piefaces Pelosi.

Mother Nature's Extreme Risktakers- the Extreme Weather Network (Jim Frascantore, Steve Abrams, and Mike Bettis) make their PCW debut in a six man tag team match against Mr. Jaundice, Captain Nausea, and the mysterious Dr. Mysterious. Frascantore gets the pin on Mr. Jaundice to give the EWN their first win.

PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein announces that Kalee Jones has been suspended indefinitely for her actions against Nancy Pelosi.

Members of the American Heartland Coalition and Island of Misfit Wrestlers barge into PCW CEO Barack Obama's office to protest the signing of Miss USA. They allege that PCW has declared war on ordinary wrestlers in order to save the women's division (even though Movie Classic is impressed that Miss USA knew the movie he was referencing).

PCW Television Champion SNAFU and his manager, self-help guru wannabe Dr. Bill, have a terse conversation about Dr. Bill's role in SNAFU's professional endeavors.

'The King of Old School Gimmicks' Baron Von Munchke (Island of Misfit Wrestlers) emerges on top of a three way dance to determine the #1 contender for SNAFU's PCW TV Title over Newt Tron Bomb (American Patriots) and the American Trucker (American Heartland Coalition). Von Munchke got some help from Dr. Bill to pin N-Bomb for the win.

---------------

PCW NEWS

PCW Women's Champion Kathryn Randall Collins Furious
Not only was Kalee Jones upset over Miss USA's quick acension up the PCW Women's ranks, KRC stormed out of the building Wednesday after Nancy Pelosi made her announcement.

"This is an insult to all the women in PCW who've worked hard to climb the ladder," KRC said later on. "Why does Miss USA deserve special treatment and a #1 contender's match not one week into her PCW career?"

Pelosi reportedly attempted to contact KRC later in the week to try and smooth things over. No word so far on whether she succeeded.

-------------

PCW RANKINGS


PCW WORLD CHAMPION: ‘The New Rookie Sensation’ O’Beck Bahama (Progressive Alliance)
CONTENDERS:
#1- A. Tom Bomb (American Patriots)
#2- Starz N. Stripes (Progressive Alliance)
#3- The Right Rev. Randy Richardson (The God Squad)

PCW WOMEN’S CHAMPION: Kathryn Randall Collins (Progressive Alliance)
CONTENDERS:
#1- ‘Texas Cowgirl’ Haley Dallas (American Patriots)
#2- Miss USA (Independent)
#3- Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen (American Patriots)

PCW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit (Dick Cheney’s Extreme Neo-Con Alliance.)
CONTENDERS:

#1- Cadillac and Jaguar (Domination Inc.)
#2- ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido and Starz N. Stripes (Progressive Alliance)
#3- Hunter the Hunter and Grizzly Adam (Ron Paul’s New Libertarian Army)

PCW TELEVISION CHAMPION: SNAFU (Independent)
CONTENDERS:
#1- Baron Von Munchke (Island of Misfit Wrestlers)
#2- Newt Tron Bomb (American Patriots)
#3- American Trucker (American Heartland Coalition)

------------------

PREVIEW OF WEDNESDAY'S PCW EXTREME POLITICAL TV

Three number one contender's matches.

#1- Miss USA vs. 'Texas Cowgirl' Haley Dallas for a shot at the PCW Women's Title.

#2- 'No Frills' Chris Escondido and Starz N. Stripes (Progressive Alliance) vs. Jack Schett and Bull Schett (Ron Paul's New Libertarian Army) vs. Cadillac and Jaguar (Total Eliminators) for #1 Contender and Tag Team Title shot.

#3- The Right Reverend Randy Richardson (The God Squad) vs. A. Tom Bomb (American Patriots) with the winner getting a PCW Title shot.

Plus, more fallout from the Kalee Jones suspension and an appearance by the PCW Champion O'Beck Bahama. All this and more, Wednesday night here on PCW Extreme Political TV

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

WWR Top 50- Week ending July 12th

-Level One make huge move in Men's Top 25
-Michelle Masters passes Kirsta Lewis to become the new Queen of the Hill
-Vox Nihili tied for first after stunning loss to the Legion of Dairy




Tag Team Top 10
1.
Vox Nihili (Alias and Karina Wolfenden)- FWO 22 pts.
-Vox Nihili manages to hang onto first place after losing the FWO Tag Team belts to the Legion of Dairy
1. Blitzkreig Funk (Bastien Von Bismarck and Hans Wilhelm)- LoC 22 pts.
-Von Bismarck and Wilhelm charge to the top after winning the Legends Tag Team Title
3. Hawk Henshaw and Latrisha- PWR 21 pts.
4. Project Nova (Jayden Knight and Manny Rodriguez) 17 pts.
5. Legion of Dairy (cHEESE and egg NOGG)- FWO 14 pts.
-LoD make big splash with big upset win over Vox Nihili to take the FWO Tag Team belts
6. Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit- PCW 13 pts.
7. Spike Saunders and Callie Urban- FWO 12 pts.
8. Team Viagra (David Noble and Mary Lynn Mayweather)- FWO 11 pts.
9.Ellisa Torretto and Super Sams- SCW 10 pts.

10. Mike Polowy and Jak Nemesis- DWF 9 pts.
10. Dream Warriors- nbW 9 pts.
10. Andre Walker and Wakka- SWF 9 pts.


WOMEN'S TOP 15
1. Michelle Masters- FWO 31 pts.
-the new Queen of E-Wrestling
2. Kirsta Lewis- HOW, SCCW, VWF, TFWF 28 pts.
-Lewis loses TFWF Light Heavyweight title and falls to #2
3. Katherine Stryfe- HIW 23 pts.
4. Latrisha- PWR 21 pts.
5. Bobbinette Carey- HOW 18 pts.
6. Karina Wolfenden- FWO 17 pts.
7. Alexia- VWF- 16 pts.
7. Mad Maddie- cWo 16 pts.
-makes the big jump of the week up to #7
9. Serena- UWF 13 pts.
10. Olivia Quinn- Siberian Wrestling 12 pts.
10. Shade- VWF 12 pts.
12. Iris Galavar- ICWF 11 pts.
12. Kathryn Randall Collins- PCW 11 pts.
12. Valora Salinas- WMW 11 pts.
15. Miss USA- PCW 10 pts.


Men's Top 25
1. Sandy Makel- TFWF 47 pts.
-the lead continues to dwindle as Level-One closes in
2. Level-One- APW, DWF 42 pts.
-captured APW title last week to move to #2
3. High Flyer- FWO 36 pts.
4. Shawn Hart- LoC 34 pts.
5. Nick Stevenson- PWR 32 pts.

-tough loss to Hawk Henshaw drops Stevenson down to #5
5. MDK- SCW 32 pts.
7. Alias- ACW, FWO 31 pts.
8. Johnny Serious- cWo 27 pts.

-big victory over Mike Logan propels Serious back into top 10
9. Mr. Fantastic- VWF 26 pts.
9. 'The All-Star' Shawn Anderson- WTF 26 pts.
11. Johnny Styles- HIW 25 pts.
12. Andrei Sorokov- Siberian Wrestling 24 pts.

-was stripped of title due to injury
13. Max Danger- ACW 23 pts.
14. Aceldama- HOW 22 pts.
15. O'Beck Bahama- PCW 21 pts.

-PCW Champion for now over 8 months
16. Trevor Wilson- ACW 20 pts.
16. Ryan James- Genesis Pro 20 pts.
-James continues to move up the rankings
18. Shane Reynolds- HOW 19 pts.
-lost non-title match and tumbles down to #19
18. Jack Purcell- PWR, SW 19 pts.
18. Hawk Henshaw- PWR 19 pts.
18. Viking- WTF 18 pts.
22. Xander Daniels- Hostility 18 pts.
22. Mike Polowy- Hostility, DWF 18 pts.
22. Riflewilly- Simcoe County 18 pts.
25. Dake Ken- WCF 17 pts.
25. 'Superstar' Vince Jacobs FWO- 17 pts.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

7/15-PCW Extreme Political TV

PCW Extreme Political TV
July 15th, 2009
The Palace of Political Extreme aka PCW Hall, Archbold, Ohio
Host: Johnny Suave


Suave: "In the ring already after a huge round of applause is 'Trailer Park Skater Girl' Tanya Hardy and her White Trash Posse- Shane and Jeff." Crowd: "WEL-COME BA-ACK! (clap, clap clap-clap-clap) WEL-COME BA-ACK! (clap, clap clap-clap-clap) Suave: "Hardy was released a couple weeks back in a cost cutting move but she's back for a one night appearance here in PCW."

*Music to Toby Keith's "Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue" begins*


My daddy served in the army
Where he lost his right eye
But he flew a flag out in our yard
Until the day that he died
He wanted my mother, my brother, my sister and me
To grow up and live happy
In the land of the free.




The crowd explodes when Miss USA appears with her bodyguard/escort Dawn McGill. Suave: "HOLY CRAP! LISTEN TO THAT OVATION!"


Hey Uncle Sam
Put your name at the top of his list
And the statue of liberty
Started shakin her fist
And the eagle will fly
Man, its gonna be hell
When you hear mother freedom
Start ringin her bell
And it feels like the whole wide world is raining down on you
Brought to you courtesy of the red white and blue


Miss USA waves to the crowd as she warms up for the match. Suave: "MISS USA OUT WITH A DIFFERENT THEME SONG AND A DIFFERENT LOOK! NO MORE COLORED HAIR AND A FULL MASK. SHE LOOKS TERRIFIC...AND ABSOLUTELY FOCUSED HERE TONIGHT!"


Justice will be served
And the battle will rage
This big dog will fight
When you rattle his cage
And you'll be sorry that you messed with
The U.S. of A.
Cause well put a boot in your ass
It's the american way




MATCH #1 MISS USA w/Dawn McGill (Independent) vs. 'Trailer Park Skater Girl' TANYA HARDY w/the White Trash Posse- Shane and Jeff
The bell rings. Suave: "And here we go! Quick lock up. Armbar by Miss USA. Spin around reversal by Hardy. Another reversal by Miss USA. Irish whip into the ropes. FLYING KARATE CHOP TO THE NECK BY MISS USA! WOW! HARDY SLAPS MISS USA RIGHT BACK! MISS USA INTO THE ROPES...ELBOWSMASH TO HARDY'S FACE." Hardy comes right back with a kick to the stomach and a sitdown slam. Suave: "HARDY'S HANGING RIGHT WITH HER SO FAR. SHE LOCKS MISS USA UP IN THE ABDOMINAL STRETCH! WILL SHE GIVE UP? No. Hardy breaks the hold and pulls at Miss USA's hair. Jab by Hardy. ANOTHER SLAP TO THE FACE BY HARDY AND NOW MISS USA LOOKS A LITTLE PISSED OFF."


Miss USA backs up into her corner and briefly confers with Dawn McGill. Suave: "Miss USA back out. Kick to the gut by Miss USA. She's got Hardy up in the air...Gorilla Press Slam! Now she pins Hardy against the ropes and chokes her with her forearm. The referee over to scold Miss USA and she breaks the hold. Hardy charges and walks right into a belly to belly suplex. Hardy right back up and pokes Miss USA in the eyes. That'll slow her down a bit. Russian legsweep by Hardy. She covers. One...Miss USA kicks out." Spinning leg lariat by Miss USA takes Hardy off her feet. Suave: "Miss USA goes to the top...TOP ROPE LEG DROP! COVER! ONE...TWO...HARDY KICKS OUT AND THE WHITE TRASH POSSE HAVE HIT THE RING! JEFF TRIES TO HIT MISS USA WITH A BATON BUT HE MISSES. HOLY CRAP! DAWN McGILL JUST NAILED JEFF WITH HER FOUR INCH STILETTO IN THE...YEAH, THERE!" Jeff crumples to the canvas. Shane quickly throws himself out of the ring before McGill can get her hands on him.


Right behind Shane, the American Heartland Coalition takes up positions and starts to picket and protest. Meanwhile, the Island of Misfit Wrestlers have also come out and they surround the ring. Hardy is momentarily distracted. Suave: "SPINNING HEEL KICK BY MISS USA! HARDY'S IN BIG TROUBLE NOW. MISS USA GOES UP TOP...PATRIOT MISSILE! COVER. ONE...TWO...THREE!"


WINNER: MISS USA

Suave: "MISS USA IN HER FIRST TELEVISED MATCH IN PCW COMES UP WITH AN IMPRESSIVE VICTORY OVER VETERAN 'TRAILER PARK SKATER GIRL' TANYA HARDY! WHAT A GREAT START TO THIS WEEK'S PCW EXTREME POLITICAL TV-" The Island of Misfit Wrestlers climb into the ring and surround Miss USA. Suave: "Oh, oh...this can't be a good thing."


Movie Classic takes a microphone. Movie Classic: "Miss USA. As General Dwight D. Eisenhower once said, 'It's not the size of the dog in the fight- it's the fight in the dog.' We all know why you were brought here to PCW. To save the Women's division at our expense." Dawn McGill elbows through the picket line of Misfit Wrestlers and plants herself between Movie Classic and Miss USA. Movie Classic: "That's okay. We know all about Dawn McGill and you know what? We'll improvise, adapt, and overcome. If I am asked what we are fighting for, I can reply in two sentences. In the first place, to fulfil a solemn international obligation . . . an obligation of honor which no self-respecting man could possibly have repudiated. I say, secondly, we are fighting to vindicate the principle that small nationalities are not to be crushed in defiance of international good faith at the arbitrary will of a strong and overmastering Power." Miss USA: "Look, I'm not sure what you're trying to get at. I don't know what's been going on here." Movie Classic: "You don't know what's going on here? Let me tell you what's going on here..." The entire arena groans. Movie Classic: "It's an economic disaster of Biblical proportions. They could've called it that, though, because the last four bond drives came up so short we just printed money instead. Ask any smart boy on Wall Street, he'll tell you our dollar is next to worthless, we've borrowed so much. And nobody is lending any more. Ships aren't being built, tanks aren't being built, machine guns, bazookas, hand grenades, zip. You think this is a farce? You want to go back to your buddies? Well stuff some rocks in your pockets before you get on the plane, because that's all we got left to throw at the Japanese. And don't be surprised if your plane doesn't make it off the runway, because the fuel dumps are empty. And our good friends, the Arabs, are only taking bullion. If we don't raise $14 billion, and that's million with a "B," this war is over by the end of the month. We make a deal with the Japanese, we give whatever they want and we come home, because you've seen them fight, and they sure as shit ain't giving up. $14 billion! The last three drives didn't make that much all together."


Miss USA: "Hold it. That's from 'Flags of Our Fathers,' isn't it?" Movie Classic: "Well...yes..." Miss USA: "That's one of my favorite movies." Movie Classic: "It is?" Miss USA: "Oh yeah." Clears throat. Miss USA: "I was promised ten days of shelling. You're giving me three and saying that's the best you can do?... I don't give a shit! My men hit that beach with less than ten, and I'll be taking them home to their mamas in buckets!... Yeah, I know exactly why. Because every Navy man with scrambled egg on his chest wants to offload us here and sail to Japan so they can be there for the big finish, tell their kids they captured the Emperor all by themselves. Well, you aren't going to Japan unless we take this piece of shit island! These little pricks are dug in... Okay, appreciate that, Jim. Three days is a fucking beautiful thing." Movie Classic: "General 'Howlin' Mad Smith!" Miss USA: "Yes!" Movie Classic and Miss USA leave together talking about the movie. The rest of the Island of Misfit Wrestlers seem confused. Then they file out one by one.

Suave: "All right, it looks like the situation has somehow been defused. We'll be right back."


---------------------


PCW CEO BARACK OBAMA'S OFFICE
Nancy Pelosi and Barack Obama watch the monitor. Pelosi: "She's wonderful!" Obama: "She handled that situation very well." Pelosi: "We have to get her on our side. I know just what to do." Pelosi leaves and goes to the ring.


Pelosi: "WAIT A MINUTE! WAAAIT A MINUTE!" Suave: "Swell, here comes Nancy Pelosi." Pelosi: "Well, that was a very impressive debut, wasn't it?" The crowd generally agrees. Pelosi: "On behalf of the PCW Competition Committee, I am thrilled to announce that next week Miss USA will face 'Texas Cowgirl' Haley Dallas for a shot at the PCW Women's Title. I know all of you out in TV land will tune in to see-" An enraged Eskimo Queen aka Kalee Jones stomps to the ring. Jones: "Where is my shot?" Pelosi: "Excuse me?" Jones towers over Pelosi. Jones: "Where is my shot for the title?" Pelosi: "You'll get your shot when you earn-" Jones lifts Pelosi up in the air. Pelosi: "PUT ME DOWN! PUT ME DOWN!" Jones: "I WANT MY TITLE SHOT!" Pelosi: "YOU'LL GET IT WHEN I'M GOOD AND READY TO GIVE IT TO YOU!" Jones spins her around and Eskimo Piefaces Pelosi. Suave: "HOLY CRAP! KALEE JONES JUST ESKIMO PIEFACED NANCY PELOSI!"


----------------


UPCOMING EVENTS @ www.politicalwrestling.wordpress.com :
7/19- PCW Newsline with Gina Ramsey
7/22- PCW Extreme Political TV
7/26- PCW Newsline with Gina Ramsey
7/29-PCW Night of Champions
8/2- PCW Newsline with Gina Ramsey
8/5- PCW Extreme Political TV
8/9- PCW Newsline with Gina Ramsey
8/12- PCW Extreme Political TV


---------------------


Female Voice: "And now, here's your local on the 8's!"


Suave: "And here comes Mother Nature's extreme risktakers...the Extreme Weather Network. Jim Frascantore. Steve Abrams. Mike Bettis." Frascantore, Abrams, and Bettis are led out to the ring by their Weathergirl valets Jen, Steph, and Kristina. Suave: "They will debut tonight against Mr. Jaundice, Captain Nausea, and the Mysterious Dr. Mysterious of the Island of Misfit Wrestlers."


MATCH #2 JIM FRASCANTORE, STEVE ABRAMS, AND MIKE BETTIS w/Jen, Steph, and Kristina (Extreme Weather Network) vs. MR. JAUNDICE, CAPTAIN NAUSEA, AND THE MYSTERIOUS DR. MYSTERIOUS w/Movie Classic (Island of Misfit Wrestlers)
Suave:
"Okay. There's the bell." Frascantore and Mr. Jaundice will start out. Suave: "Mr. Jaundice gets nailed right out of the gate with a charging axhandle bodyblock from Frascantore. Mr. Jaundice places Frascantore on the turnbuckle. He executes a front-layout superplex. Jaundice bounces Frascantore off the ropes...jumping clothesline! Nice move there. Mr. Jaundice quickly makes the tag to Captain Nausea. Frascantore takes the opportunity to send Nausea for a ride. He tags in Steve Abrams."

Again, the American Heartland Coalition come out to protest. They congregate in the EWN corner.


Frascantore sets up a chair and lifts Captain Nausea up. Suave: "Fall Away Slam on the chair! And now Mike Bettis jumps in and punches Nausea repeatedly. Tripleteam action! Steve Abrams chops Captain Nausea. Bettis nails Nausea with his elbow. Abrams tags in Bettis. Jawbreaker on Captain Nausea! Now he stomps on Nausea. Abrams back in. He lifts Captain Nausea up...PILEDRIVER! Frascantore and Bettis in the ring and they set up a table. Frascantore to the top rope!" Frascantore does a flying senton and plants Nausea through the table. Suave: "HOLY CRAP! ABRAMS COVERS...WAIT...WHAT'S THIS?" The Mysterious Dr. Mysterious has put Weathergirl Jen under his spell. He directs her to distract Frascantore. Suave: "IT'S THE MYSTERIOUS DR. MYSTERIOUS!" Abrams to the top rope. The American Trucker (American Heartland) jumps up on the ring apron and crotches Abrams. Abrams falls backwards in Dr. Mysterious's general direction. Dr. Mysterious sees him falling for him and stiffens. The spell breaks and Jen returns to normal. Suave: "He's got to work on that whole anxiety thing." Abrams drives Dr. Mysterious into the steel guardrail.

Suave: "Captain Nausea finally gets to his feet. He tags out and in comes Mr. Jaundice. Abrams back in and Jaundice takes him down. Jaundice drops him on the top rope. Drops knee down on Abram's arm. Abrams gives Jaundice a knee to the gut...scoop slam by Abrams and he tags in Bettis. Bettis covers. One...two...shoulder up for Mr. Jaundice. Frascantore in the ring! Axe handle drives Jaundice to the corner. He's now put on he top rope...Frascantore launches himself into the ropes...Bettis slingshots him airborne...HOLY CRAP! High risk, high risk move. Bettis launches Frascantore and he hits Jaundice like a missile!" Jaundice tumbles with Frasacantore out of the ring. Suave: "Abrams on the ring apron-DROPKICK! Frascantore lays in some cheap shots of his own. He climbs back in the ring and tags back into the match. He drags Jaundice to the middle of the wrestling mat and covers Mr. Jaundice. One. Two. Three.


WINNER: THE EXTREME WEATHER NETWORK

Suave: "THE EXTREME WEATHER NETWORK VICTORIOUS IN THEIR DEBUT MATCH HERE AT PCW!"


------------------


From our good friends at High Octane Wrestling:


HOW CAPITAL PUNISHMENT- August 23rd at the Verizon Center in Washington D.C.


WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
Issac Slade vs. Aceldama©


ICON CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
Maximillian Kael vs. Shane Reynolds©


LSD CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
Chris Kostoff or Christopher America vs. David Black©


HALL OF FAME RESPECT IS EARNED MATCH
Mark O’Neal vs. Darkwing


BOBBINETTE CAREY AS SPECIAL REFEREE MATCH
Kirsta Lewis vs. Scottywood vs. Chris Kostoff


FINAL ENCOUNTER
Trip Eisen vs. Trent©


THE MATCH ONLY A MOTHER COULD LOVE
Bob Jared vs. Embosser


---------------------


Suave: "We've just received word that Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen has been suspended indefinitely by the PCW Competition Committee for Eskimo Piefacing Nancy Pelosi. Let's go to the back and PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein."

--------------------

BACKSTAGE
Bernstein:
"That's right, Johnny. It has just come down that the Eskimo Queen is officially suspended. They are wheeling Nancy Pelosi out right now..." Two paramedics wheel Pelosi in a stretcher down the hallway. She sees Miss USA nearby and flashes a thumb's up. Pelosi: "See? This is what being a part of the Progressive Alliance is all about! Standing up for women! That's why you should join us- OW! WATCH WHAT YOU'RE DOING YOU @#$#ING PUTZ!" The harried paramedic hastily apologizes and moves Pelosi out.

Suave: "A little politicking by Pelosi as they take her to the hospital.

--------------------

PCW CEO BARACK OBAMA'S OFFICE
Harry Reid and Steny Hoyer are also in the room. Reid: "...and apparently, the American Patriots sent John McCain over to Miss USA's dressing room to talk to her about joining them." Obama: "I see. It's time to send out the big guns then. HILLARY!" Hillary Clinton enters. Obama: "I have an important diplomatic mission for you. I need you to go see Miss USA and convince her to join the Progressive Alliance." Hillary: "I'll get right on-" Andrea Doria and the American Trucker (American Heartland Coalition) and Movie Classic (Island of Misfit Wrestlers) barge in and nearly knock Hillary over. Obama: "Not you guys again!" Andrea: "This isn't over yet, Mr. CEO. We know that the reason you brought in Miss USA was to prop up the women's division for your special interest groups." American Trucker: "That's right. The American Heartland Coalition can see what's going on here. You're favoring your groups over ordinary wrestlers who are trying to make a living. The TV title is the people's title."

Obama: "Look. Bringing in Miss USA has nothing to do with where our direction is going." Movie Classic: "And in fairness to her, she does have great taste in cinematic classics." Both Andrea Doria and American Trucker glare at him. Movie Classic: "Right. I'll just shut up now." American Trucker: "Don't give us that doubletake Mr. CEO. We know what's going on and we're going to fight it every inch of the way. You've declared war on ordinary wrestlers, Mr. CEO. And we aren't going to take this lying down." American Trucker and Andrea storm out. Movie Classic lingers. Movie Classic: "But she does have good taste in mov-" Andrea drags Movie Classic down the hallway.

-----------------

BACKSTAGE
PCW Television Champion SNAFU and Dr. Bill confer. Dr. Bill: "It's time to get real. I want you to influence this match so we get the right opponent for PCW Night of Champions." SNAFU: "Why? I can beat any of these three-" Dr. Bill: "Are you doing what you're doing today because you want to do it, or because it's what you were doing yesterday?” SNAFU: "Huh? I said, I could beat any of these three." Dr. Bill: " You can't change what you don't acknowledge.” SNAFU: "What? What do I need to change? I'm the TV champion." Dr. Bill: "We teach people how to treat us.” SNAFU: "What? What the hell are you talking about?" Dr. Bill: "You let me get assaulted a couple weeks back and didn't lift a finger." SNAFU: "I didn't need your interference." Dr. Bill: "I think you're running into a lot of trouble if your idea of foreplay is, 'Brace yourself honey, here I come!'" SNAFU: "Um...what?" Dr. Bill: "The problem is that for women, the average time is just over 14 minutes,.. men are left with about 12 minutes during which time they need to think of something to do!" SNAFU blinks his eyes and shakes his head. SNAFU: "Okay. That's it. I'm out of here." SNAFU walks away. Dr. Bill: "DON'T YOU WALK AWAY FROM ME! YOU'RE NOTHING WITHOUT ME! JUST ASK DAVE THE MECHANIC! I MADE HIM THE TV CHAMPION. I MADE YOU THE TV CHAMPION! I WILL NOT BE IGNORED!"

-------------

Check out the EW Torch for the latest in E-Wrestling News.

Current stories include:
All-Stars of Wrestling Television Report [07.11.09]
KMS] Nashville Businessman Announces…
Card Set for Missouri Valley Wrestling Debut
EW TorchCenter Tuesday

------------------

MATCH #3- #1 Contender's Match for the PCW Television Title
'The King of Old School Gimmicks' BARON VON MUNCHKE (Island of Misfit Wrestlers) vs. AMERICAN TRUCKER w/Tequila Sheila (American Heartland Coalition) vs. NEWT TRON BOMB w/Daisy Cutter Bomb (American Patriots)

Suave: "The winner gets a shot at the PCW TV Title in two weeks against SNAFU." The bell sounds. Suave: "And here we go. Baron Von Munchke immediately drops American Trucker with a Gorilla Press Slam. American Trucker punches N-Bomb. N-Bomb right back with a spinning leg lariat on American Trucker. Back and forth action to start. American Trucker back up. He responds with the back of his elbow to N-Bomb's jaw. Andrea Doria slides a table in the ring. Here we go. Another elbow to N-Bomb. AT lifts him up....HOLY CRAP! The American Trucker plants Newt Tron Bomb thru a table!" Crowd: "PCW!...PCW!...PCW!"

Baron Von Munchke attacks American Trucker. He throws AT into the turnbuckle. Suave: "Von Munchke smashes American Trucker's head into the turnbuckle. Headlock takedown. Von Munchke wrenches the arm back. American Trucker powers up...Von Munchke drops him on his knee. N-Bomb back up and he nails a swinging bulldog on Von Munchke. He drove his face hard into the mat. American Trucker follows with an elbowdrop on Von Munchke. Back up again. Another elbowdrop. And another. Double axhandle chop from behind by N-Bomb. N-Bomb going up top...driving elbow smash on Von Munchke. Cover. One...two...NO! Von Munchke kicks out. American Trucker tries for a power bomb...N-Bomb dodges the attack. Forearm to N-Bomb's back. AT lifts him in the air...SPINEBUSTER! He covers! One...Two...kick out."

Baron Von Munchke trys for a neck scissors but American Trucker avoids it. Suave: "N-Bomb up top again. Split legged moonsault! He nailed Baron Von Munchke. Chicken wing! N-Bomb has the Chicken Wing on Von Munchke! The referee checks the situation. N-Bomb tightens the hold. American Trucker makes the save. Baron Von Munchke escapes. N-Bomb whips Baron Von Munchke to the floor. Not a good place to be because...DAISY CUTTER BOMB CLOTHSLINES VON MUNCHKE! SHE LIFTS HIM UP..." Daisy Cutter Power Bomb through a table! Suave: "HOLY CRAP! DAISY CUTTER BOMB JUST DESTROYED A TABLE AND BARON VON MUNCHKE!" American Trucker slaps N-Bomb. N-Bomb pins American Trucker against the ropes and chokes him with his forearm. American Trucker to the floor. Suave: "N-Bomb again climbs to the top of the turnbuckle...DIVING HEADBUTT FROM THE TOP ROPE! N-BOMB TURNS AROUND...HOLD ON! WATCH OUT FOR THE SILENT BUT DEADLY!" SNAFU runs in. Suave: "IT'S THE PCW TELEVISION CHAMPION SNAFU!" SNAFU goes for a cross-body block but N-Bomb avoids it. SNAFU gets nailed with a double axhandle chop from Daisy Cutter-Bomb. Suave: "NOW WE'VE GOT MULTIPLE PEOPLE INVOLVED. Daisy bounces SNAFU off the ring steps. WAIT A MINUTE!" SNAFU collapses. Daisy collapses. American Trucker collapses. Suave: "SILENT BUT DEADLY! SILENT BUT DEADLY!"

On the other side, Baron Von Munchke gets back to his feet. He crawls back into the ring. N-Bomb sees him and also moves to reenter the ring. Von Munchke kicks N-Bomb off the ring apron. Suave: "NOW WHAT? DR. BILL GOES OVER AND THROWS N-BOMB BACK INTO THE RING. CLAW HOLD! CLAW HOLD! BARON VON MUNCHKE HAS IT LOCKED IN! N-BOMB HAS NO HELP. A-BOMB IS NOT HERE. DAISY IS KNOCKED OUT. HE TAPS! THAT'S IT! IT'LL BE BARON VON MUNCHKE, WITH HELP FROM DR. BILL, VERSUS SNAFU, MANAGED BY DR. BILL, IN TWO WEEKS. NEXT WEEK, WE FIND OUT THE NUMBER ONE CONTENDERS FOR THE PCW AND TAG TEAM TITLE! SEE YOU THEN!"

Thursday, July 09, 2009

Wednesday Wrestling Rag's Top 50- June 29th to July 5th

Wednesday Wrestling Rag's Top 50- June 29th to July 5th

31 federations comprising of APEX, The Experts, ACW, CWO, FWO, GCW, LoC, nbW, NFW, Genesis Pro, DWF, HOW, Hostility, ICWF, Simcoe County, PCW, WCF, LARIAT, XWW make up the ratings.

TOP 10 E-WRESTLING TAG TEAMS
1. Vox Nihili (Alias and Karina Wolfenden)- FWO 30 pts.
-the class of the E-Wrestling tag team ranks right now. Big victory last week over Saunders and Urban, Team Viagra, and the Legion of Dairy
2. Hawk Henshaw and Latricia- PWR 21 pts.
3. Blitzkrieg Funk- LoC 15 pts.
4. Spike Saunders and Callie Urban- FWO 13 pts.
4. Viking and Andrew O'Reilly- WTF 13 pts.
6. Big Oil/Kirk Walstreit- PCW 12 pts
7. Team Viagra (MLM and David Noble)- FWO 11 pts.
7. Ellisia Torretto and Super Sams- UWF 11 pts.
-enters the top ten for the first time. New UWF Tag Team champs.
7. The Novas- TFWF 11 pts.
10. Rage and Mr. Larson- VWF 9 pts.
-another newcomer. Brand new VWF Tag Team titleholders
10. The Industry (Chris Bond and Dave Milenko)- Hostility 9 pts.
-New tag team. New title. The Industry making waves at Hostility.
10. Mike Polowy and Jak Nemesis- DWF 9 pts.
-Polowy raising ruckus at two promotions now.

TOP 15 WOMEN E-WRESTLERS
1. Kirsta Lewis- HOW, SCCW, VWF, TFWF, MCW 31 pts.
-Not a good week for the Hellcat. Singles loss at HOW. Tag Team losses at SCCW and VWF (including the tag team belts). Once the undisputed Queen of E-Wrestling. Now has Michelle Masters right on her tail.
2. Michelle Masters- FWO 28 pts.
3. Katherine Stryfe- HIW 23 pts.
-Stryfe made the big jump forward this week up to 3 as result of her winning HIW's Barely Legal title
4. Latrisha- PWR 22 pts.
5. Bobbinette Carey- HOW 19 pts
-Tough loss to 'Explosive' Mark O'Neil last week has the Queen B sliding back a bit.
6. Karina Wolfenden- FWO 18 pts.
7. Alexia- HIW 17 pts.
-New Women's titleholder at HIW
8. Serena- UWF 14 pts
-Won a six people scramble match to become the new UWF Television champion
9. Olivia Quinn- Siberian Wrestling 13 pts.
10. Hannah Rickman- PWR 12 pts.
10. Kathryn Randall Collins- PCW 12 pts.
10. Iris Galavar- ICWF 12 pts.
10. Shade- VWF 12 pts.
-New VWF women's champion
14. Valoria Salinas- WMW 11 pts.
14. Heiki Heidenriech- PWR 11 pts.
14. Angelica Jones- GDW 11 pts.
14. Miss USA- PCW 11 pts.
-Back in the top 15 after impressive debut this past weekend at PCW's Fourth of July Spectacular.

TOP 25 MEN'S E-WRESTLERS
1. Sandy Makel- TFWF 49 pts.
2. Nick Stevenson- PWR 35 pts.
3. High Flyer- FWO 33 pts.
4. Shawn Hart- LoC 31 pts.
4. Alias- ACW/FWO 31 pts.
4. Level One- APW/DWF* 31 pts.
-Takes the big jump of the week after winning the DWF title.
4. MDK- SCW 31 pts.
8. Andrei Sorokov- Siberian Wrestling 29 pts.
9. Mr. Fantastic- VWF 27 pts.
10. 'The All-Star' Shawn Anderson- WTF 26 pts.
10. Max Danger- ACW 24 pts.
12. Shane Reynolds- HOW 22 pts.
12. Aceldama- HOW 22 pts.
12. Johnny Styles- HIW 22 pts.
12. O'Beck Bahama- PCW 22 pts.
16. Viking- WTF 21 pts.
17. Johnny Serious- cWo 21 pts.
-Loses non-title match, drops way down to 17.
18. Trevor Wilson- ACW 20 pts.
19. Xander Daniels- Hostility 19 pts.
20. Ryan James- Genesis Pro 18 pts.
-Won the Genesis Pro title and breaks into the top 25.
20. Mike Polowy- Hostility/DWF
22. Jack Purcell- PWR, SW 18 pts.
22. Steve Studnuts- XWW 18 pts.
-Won the XWW title over Gordie James and jumps into this week's top 25
24. Max Kael- HOW 17 pts.
24. Riflewilly- SCCW 17 pts.
24. Hawk Henshaw- PWR 17 pts.

Wednesday, July 01, 2009

7/1-PCW Extreme Political TV

-PCW CEO Barack Obama proposes a stimulus package and addresses the signing of Miss USA and the Extreme Weather Network
-WWR Top 50
-Drunken Luchadors Dan and Don Martini meet the Green World Order in a match from PCW Extreme Election Night 2006
-Emily List vs. Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen
-Saxby Chambliss vs. Jim Martin
-Mark Sanford tries to apologize for his affair
-Mr. Movie Classic goes to Washington
-'Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl' Tessa Martin vs. Mia Margarita




7/1-PCW EXTREME POLITICAL TV
LOCATION: Hack's Rusty Nail Saloon, Wauseon, OH
HOST: Johnny Suave

Suave: "Johnny Suave here at Hack's. We have some people in the building as we wait for PCW CEO Barack Obama to come out-"

*flute and clarinet flourish*

Suave: "And here he comes."
Two men come out and unroll a white carpet to the ring steps. Dancers then dance. Ballet dancers…ballet? Little children walk up the white carpet and drop rose petals. Someone lets loose some pigeons…we’re still not sure just how they’ll get out of the building. The crowd stands and lets out a loud ovation as PCW CEO Barack Obama appears. Behind Obama, two aides wheel out a banged up portable closet with his Aide de Camp Joe Biden inside.

The PCW roster also come out and surround Obama in a half semi-circle. Obama: "Thank you all for coming on short notice. Tonight, I'm announcing that I have proposed a plan to the PCW Competition Committee to get PCW back on track financially. My idea is to stimulate more interest in PCW and thus attract more people to come to our shows. This stimulus package will ramp up excitement and allow us to run in slightly larger venues. First, I will confirm that PCW has purchased the contract of Miss USA. She will debut in two weeks on PCW Extreme Political TV. Second, I have signed a new group to come in- the Extreme Weather Network. Jim Frascantore, Steve Abrams, Mark Bettes with their valets Jen, Kristine, and Steph...." Pauses for grumbling from the wrestlers. Obama: "Yes, I know that these expendatures represent an additional debt for PCW in the short term. But, this stimulus package will result in larger crowds at our PCW house shows and thus more revenue. That is all I want to say tonight. And I'll be happy to take your questions."

Suave: "So, to summarize: PCW signs Miss USA and the Extreme Weather Network. We'll be back with the reaction in just a moment."
*
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*
Wednesday Wrestling Rag's Top 50
*
TOP 10 E-WRESTLING TAG TEAMS
1. Vox Nihili (Alias and Karina Wolfenden)- FWO 27 pts.
2. Hawk Henshaw and Latricia- PWR 22 pts.
3. Flying Vergomov's- LoC 19 pts.
4. Ron and Don Connection- Hostility 16 pts.
4. Blitzkrieg Funk- LoC 16 pts.
6. Spike Saunders and Callie Urban- FWO 15 pts.
7. Viking and Andrew O'Reilly- WTF 13 pts.
7. Team Viagra (MLM and David Noble)- FWO 13 pts.
9. Big Oil/Kirk Walstreit- PCW 12 pts.
9. Team Danger (Stephen Greer and Tyrone Walker)- DWF 12 pts.
9. The Novas- TFWF 12 pts.
*
TOP 15 WOMEN E-WRESTLERS
1. Kirsta Lewis- HOW, SCCW, VWF, TFWF 35 pts.
2. Michelle Masters - FWO * (Cruiserwt Chmp) 25 pts.
3. Latrisha- PWR 23 pts.
4. Bobbinette Carey- HOW 20 pts
5. Karina Wolfenden- FWO 17 pts.
6. Olivia Quinn- Siberian Wrestling 14 pts.
6. Alexia- VWF 14 pts.
6. Katherine Stryfe- HIW 14 pts.
9. Hannah Rickman- PWR 13 pts.
9. Kathryn Randall Collins- PCW 13 pts.
9. Iris Galavar- ICWF 13 pts.
9. Brandy Lust- VWF 13 pts.
13. Valoria Salinas- WMW 12 pts.
13. Heiki Heidenriech- PWR 12 pts.
13. Angelica Jones- GDW 12 pts.
*
TOP 25 MEN'S E-WRESTLERS
1. Sandy Makel- TFWF 50 pts.
2. Nick Stevenson- PWR 36 pts.
3. High Flyer- FWO 33 pts.
4. Shawn Hart- LoC 32 pts.
5. Alias- ACW/FWO 31 pts.
6. MDW- SCW 28 pts.
7. 'The All-Star' Shawn Anderson- WTF 27 pts.
8. Max Danger- ACW 25 pts.
9. Johnny Serious- cWo 24 pts.
9. Mr. Fantastic- VWF 24 pts.
11. Level One APW/DWF 22 pts.
12. Shane Reynolds- HOW 20 pts.
13. Aceldama- HOW 19 pts.
13. Johnny Styles- HIW 19 pts.
13. Viking- WTF 19 pts.
13. O'Beck Bahama- PCW 19 pts.
17. Trevor Wilson- ACW 18 pts.
17. Max Kael- HOW 18 pts.
17. Hawk Henshaw- PWR 18 pts.
20. Jack Purcell- PWR, SW 17 pts.
20. Xander Daniels- Hostility 17 pts.
20. Mike Polowy- Hostility/DWF 17 pts.
23. Johnny Donovan- Hostility 16 pts.
23. Stephen Greer- DWF 16 pts.
23. Dake Ken- WCF 16 pts.
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*
MATCH FROM 11/7/06 BCEW EXTREME ELECTION NIGHT 2006
BCEW TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH- PEACENIK #1 & 2 of the Green World Order (Progressive Alliance) vs. THE DRUNKEN LUCHADORS DAN & DON- THE FLYIN’ MARTINI BROTHERS (Independent)

Extreme attorneys Felcher and Felcher joins Johnny Suave at ringside. “Swell,” he mumbles. Immediately Peacenik #1 complains about the Martini Brothers drinking in the ring. Both Martini Brothers chug a bottle of Jack Daniels and then break the bottle over their heads. “Yes, it’s a little unorthodox,” Suave explains, “but hell, they’re the champions. They can do whatever they want.”
Peacenik #1 and Don Martini to begin. Crowd chants for the Drunken Luchadors. A brief lock up and an attempted knee by Peacenik #1 that whiffs because Don staggers out of the way. Peacenik #1 tries rights now, and then the boots…and misses again. “Here we go again,” Suave says. R Felcher yells at Don Martini to stand still. Suave shoots back, “Yeah, easier said than done.” Peacenik #1 gets frustrated and rushes at Don. He clips the Drunken Luchador and sends him to the canvas. The Felchers cheer at the announcer’s table. Peacenik #1 goes for a leg drop but Dan Martini pulls Don out of the way. “Apparently Dan is the more sober one tonight,” observes Suave. A tag is made and Dan Martini gets into the ring. Peacenik #1 again tries to bull over Dan. Dan topples to the canvas and Peacenik #1 rams into the corner ringpost. “Of course, I could be wrong,” Suave says. Peacenik #1 staggers back to his corner and tags in Peacenik #2.
Dan Martini climbs to the top rope. Suave cringes. “Well, this can’t be a good thing.” Peacenik #2 simply waits. Dan leaps off the top rope and misses Peacenik #2 completely. “Definitely, not a good thing,” Suave says as Peacenik #2 goes for the cover but somehow Dan kicks out. “In the interest of fairness, he should have let the Green World Order pin him,” whines R Felcher. “Yes,” chimes in B Felcher. “Haven’t they been tag team champions long enough?” The other two members of the Green World Order, The Vengeful Vegan Brock Cole Lee and Peta from PETA come down to the ring. Brock Cole Lee slips a bottle of chloroform and a handkerchief to Peacenik #1. “Now what are they up to!” asks Suave. “Justice!” offers R Felcher. “That bottle of chloroform represents justice for the Green World Order.” Peacenik #1 motions #2 to throw Dan Martini into their corner. Peacenik #2 tries to lift the Drunken Luchador up- he’s dead weight. Finally, Brock Cole Lee interjects himself into the match and helps Peacenik #2 drag Dan to their corner. “It’s all over!” gloats R Felcher. D Felcher concurs, “There’s no way that-” “HERE COME THE BOMB BROTHERS!” interrupts Suave, AND THE RAVING REDNECKS-LOCKE AND LOADE!”
*
Suave quickly recaps how Felcher and Felcher used the judicial system to deny the Bomb Brothers or the Raving Rednecks from wrestling for the tag team title. “This is not acceptable!” R Felcher says. A-Bomb tears Peacenik #1 off the edge of the ring and slams him into the steel barricade. The bottle of chloroform drops on the floor and Earl Locke picks it up. He immediately uses it on Peacenik #1 and takes him out. Gary Loade bulldogs Brock Cole Lee and then Locke and Loade deliver a devastating 4-D Redneck Death Blast to the Vengeful Vegan. Peacenik #2 ducks out of the ring but runs into H-Bomb. “Oh, oh!” Suave warns. Peacenik #2 immediately runs back into the ring and inadvertently elbows Dan Martini in the stomach. Dan starts to look green. “HOLY CRAP! HE’S GOING FOR THEIR FINISHER!” Suave says as Peacenik #2 gets a real concerned look. “Someone stop him,” R Felcher says. Too late. Dan spews green mist…no too chunky…projectile vomits all over Peacenik #2. “WOW!” Suave exclaims. “He must have ate a lot for supper tonight!” Dan passes out and headbutts Peacenik #2. Peacenik #2 down and covered by Drunken Luchador Dan. 1-2-3. Match.
*
WINNER AND STILL BCEW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: THE DRUNKEN LUCHADORS, DAN AND DON- THE FLYING MARTINI BROTHERS
*
A-Bomb grabs R Felcher; Gary Loade grabs B Felcher. Both Felchers are dragged unceremoniously into the ring. “It’s been nice knowing you guys,” Suave says, “NOT!” Locke and Loade deliver another 4-D Redneck Death Blast to B Felcher while A-Bomb and H-Bomb double-power A-Bombs R Felcher. “And that my friends,” Suave says, “is what I call a happy ending.”
*
--------------------
*
BACK ON THE MAIN FLOOR
Obama: "American Trucker. I repeat what I said before, no decision has been made on which division PCW is leaning towards eliminating! These are perilous times and-" American Trucker: "Mr. Obama, on behalf of the American Heartland Coalition I'd like to say- bollocks!" Suave: "Bollocks? Can you say bollocks on TV?" American Trucker: "You've brought in higher priced talent at a time where money is tight. You can barely pay us now as it is. Tell me where it makes sense to bring in Miss USA when the price tag surely isn't cheap." The rest of the American Heartland contingent echo their agreement. Nancy Pelosi stands up. Pelosi: "The fact is we tried it your way for four years." American Trucker: "OUR way? I don't think so." Andrea Doria joins American Trucker. Andrea: "No, if it were our way, we wouldn't have approved Joe Biden's little Space Shuttle stunt in the first place. Nice leadership, Nancy."
Suave: "Well. CEO Obama's stimulus plan has created quite the debate. We'll be back with more of this in a bit.
*
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*
CATCH THE LATEST NEWS ON PCW AND OTHER GREAT E-FEDERATIONS AT THESE SITES:
*
E-Wresting Torch- E-Fed Television, Pay-Per-View, and Classic show reviews
E-Wrestling Magazine- The home for all the latest e-federation news throughout the country
E-Wrestling Nexus- The newest E-Wrestling hotspot to catch up on the latest news, cards, and e-wrestlers in the e-wrestling world
*
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*
From our friends over at High Octane Wrestling:



WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
Issac Slade vs. Aceldama©
*
ICON CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
Maximillian Kael vs. Shane Reynolds©
*
LSD CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
Chris Kostoff or Christopher America vs. David Black©
*
HALL OF FAME RESPECT IS EARNED MATCH
Mark O’Neal vs. Darkwing
*
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*
12/7-PCW Extreme Political TV from Alaska:
MATCH #2: EMILY LIST (Progressive Alliance) vs. KALEE JONES- The Eskimo Queen w/Sarah Palin (American Patriots)

Crowd: “SER-RAH PAY-LIN! clap, clap clap-clap-clap, SER-RAH PAY-LIN! clap, clap clap-clap-clap…” Suave: “The Alaskan Pitbull back home here in Alaska to unveil her new protegee, Kalee Jones.” Jones towers over List. Tie up leads to a trip by List. She mounts Kalee but Kalee rolls over. Suave: “CAT FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT~! CAT FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT~!” Go-behind by List. Reverse by Jones into a headlock. Headlock takeover follows. Back to their feet, the Eskimo Queen off the ropes with a shoulderblock. Two legdrops and Kalee covers. List kicks out at one. European uppercut and an Alaskan kick by Kalee Jones. Irish whip into the corner leads to a clothesline. Shoulderblocks in the corner but List gets a sunset flip for a one count. Jones quickly regains control. She rams List's head into the turnbuckle. Kicks and elbows in the corner. List fires back with punches & kicks. Jones breaks out a dropkick. Hair mare followed by a rear naked choke by Jones. Jones lifts List up and slams her face first into the canvas. Suave: “I believe they call that the Alaskan Pieface.” Jones covers. 1…2…3.
*
WINNER: KALEE JONES- The Eskimo Queen
*
The Alaskan Pitbull Sarah Palin in the ring and she holds up Kalee’s arm in victory. List is furious and pushes Palin from behind. Jones picks List up and Alaskan Piefaces her a second time. The Angry Left Wing Bloggers- Paul Krugman, Daily Kos, Eric Alterman, Media Matters for America, News Hounds led by Arianna Huffington run in. Suave: “They’ve got Palin and Jones surrounded!” Huffington smirks at the edge of the ring. Huffington: “You are a dangerous person, Sarah Palin. And we’re going to put a stop to you right now.” Krugman charges- he gets Alaskan Piefaced by Kalee Jones. News Hounds runs at Palin… *WHACK* …and eats a well-placed hockey stick in the ear by Palin. *WHACK* Media Matters goes down. Jones Alaskan Piefaces Eric Alterman. Daily Kos gets caught in no man’s land. He’s too far away from the ropes and too close to Palin. He puts his hands up to beg off. Crowd: “SARAH’S GOING TO KILL YOU! clap, clap clap-clap-clap, SARAH’S GOING TO KILL YOU! clap, clap clap-clap-clap. Daily Kos turns to flee. Palin uppercuts with the hockey stick and belts Daily Kos in the groin. Suave: “Ow. And I mean, seriously. Ow.” Daily Kos faints in the ring. Huffington’s smirk is gone. Especially when Palin points the hockey stick at her. Huffington tries to run, Palin grabs her and drags her by the hair kick and screaming into the ring. Palin throws her to Jones. Jones lifts Huffington and Alaskan Piefaces her. Crowd: “PCW…PCW!” Suave: “Well. Apparently Sarah Palin isn’t going away anytime soon. In fact, Saxby Chambliss was glad she was at a PCW House show in Georgia the other night…”
*
REPLAY: SAXBY CHAMBLISS w/ John McCain (American Patriots) vs. JIM MARTIN (Progressive Alliance) at PCW HOUSE SHOW in CARTERSVILLE, GA
Crowd: “PCW!…PCW!” Chambliss in control with an armbar on Martin. Kicks by Chambliss. Northern Lights Suplex. Martin rolls and manages to get to the ropes. Chambliss backs off and Martin scoots under the ropes. He looks to the back for help.
*
A Barack Obama video begins to play: Obama’s voice: “Hey, Jim. Sorry I couldn’t be there tonight. Good luck and…take it to him!” Suave: “Guess he’s not coming, eh?” Martin seems a little put off. Chambliss pulls him back into the ring and rolls him up. 1…2…no. Martin kicks out. Slingshot drapes Martin’s throat on the top rope. Again, Chambliss covers. Again, 2 count.The music of Fleetwood Mac’s “Don’t Stop” suddenly starts. Suave: “HOLY CRAP! IS THAT WHO I THINK IT IS?” The crowd explodes. A spotlight points out a plaid shirted man with a Singapore cane and a cup of mocha. Next to him is a white haired gentlemen in a suit. Suave: “IT’S HIM! HE’S HERE! HE’S BACK!” Sununu can’t believe it. Suave: “HE’S BACK! IT’S THE TREE HUGGIN’, MOCHA CHUGGIN’, TOBACCO COMPANY BUGGIN’ ALPHA MALE AND ENVIROMENTAL EXTREME HARDCORE ICON- AL GORE! AND HE’S WITH BILL CLINTON!” The crowd sings the chorus “Don’t stop, thinking about tomorrow.” Clinton watches impatiently as Gore holds up his mocha, inside an environmentally friendly biodegradable container of course, and chugs it down. Then he spews it out of his mouth into the crowd and then crushes the paper container on his forehead in a manly fashion. Suave: “HE’S BACK HERE IN PCW!” Clinton starts to run down but the Environmental Extreme Hardcore Icon walks down the steps to the main floor. Clinton has to turn around and go back. At the bottom of the steps, Gore pulls out another container of mocha, guzzles it down, spews it into the crowd, and then smashes the container on his forehead while Clinton stews.
In the ring, Martin is looking out at Clinton and Gore wading through the main floor crowd to the bar area. Martin is looking for any help. Gore suddenly stops and Clinton has to double back to him. Gore climbs up on the bar, pulls out yet another cup of mocha, guzzles that one down, spews it into the crowd, and then smashes the container on his forehead. Clinton’s itching to go. Gore throws down the container and finally heads to the ring. Clinton and Gore almost reach the ring and suddenly disappear. Suave: “Okay, what’s going on? It looks like someone or something tripped up Clinton and Gore as they were- SARAH PALIN! IT’S SARAH PALIN!” Gore, hacked off, turns to cane the person who tripped him and realizes it’s Sarah Palin. He’s ready to cane her but in the end doesn’t.
*
Martin’s distracted. Chambliss gets a chair and comes up behind Martin. *CLANG* Suave: “HOLY CRAP! HE NEVER SAW THAT ONE COMING!” Martin to the canvas. Chambliss covers. 1…2…3
*
WINNER: SAXBY CHAMBLISS
*
--------------
*
BACK IN THE RING
South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford wanders out to a chorus of boos from the few people. Sanford: "I want to apologize. This was a whole lot more than a simple affair, this was a love story. A forbidden one, a tragic one, but a love story at the end of the day. I am fit to govern and have no plan to resign. I've been able to do my job and in fact excel at it. If I had to do again, would I have done the same thing? I'll say this...what I would say is that I've never had sex with another woman. Have I done stupid? I have. You know you meet someone. You dance with them. You go to a place where you probably shouldn't have gone. If you're a married guy at the end of the day you shouldn't be dancing with somebody else. So anyway, without wandering into that field we'll just say that I let my guard down in all senses of the word without ever crossing the line that I crossed with this situation."
*
*The beginning of Def Leppard's 'Rock, Rock Til You Drop blares through the loudspeakers*
*
The crowd stands and cheers. Suave: "And speaking of crossing the line, Governor Sanford. Here comes the Extreme Enforcer, WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT!
*
Hold on to your hat,
hold on to your heart
Ready get set
to tear this place apart
*
WTF runs down the aisle...
*
Don't need a ticket,
only place in town
That will take you up to heave
and never bring you down
Anything goes!
Anything goes!
*
WTF in the ring. Sanford's trapped. WTF grabs the throat. Lifts. Chokeslam.
*
I said
Rock! Rock! Till you drop
Rock! Rock! Never stop
Rock! Rock! Till you drop
I say rock! Rock! Till you drop
*
Suave: "Thank you!"
*
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*
BACKSTAGE
Movie Classic and the Island of Misfit Wrestlers storm down the hallway. They reach Nancy Pelosi's office. Movie Classic bangs on the door. Movie Classic: "MS. PELOSI! MS. PELOSI!" The door opens. Pelosi: "What the hell do you want?" Movie Classic: "CEO Obama told us to come down here to discuss the stimulus package." Pelosi: "He did?" Movie Classic: "We're against it. With Miss USA coming in, it's clear that it's the TV title that's going to be elimin-" The door slams shut. Movie Classic: "Ms. Pelosi? Ms. Pelosi?" He bangs on the door again. Michael Hunt: "Well. I guess that's it then." Movie Classic: "No, it's not. You see, boys forget what their country means by just reading The Land of the Free in history books. Then they get to be men they forget even more. Liberty's too precious a thing to be buried in books. Men should hold it up in front of them every single day of their lives and say: I'm free to think and to speak. My ancestors couldn't, I can, and my children will. Boys ought to grow up remembering that." Mr. Jaundice: "Huh?" Movie Classic: "Just get up off the ground, that's all I ask. Get up there with that lady that's up on top of this Capitol dome, that lady that stands for liberty. Take a look at this country through her eyes if you really want to see something. And you won't just see scenery; you'll see the whole parade of what Man's carved out for himself, after centuries of fighting. Fighting for something better than just jungle law, fighting so's he can stand on his own two feet, free and decent, like he was created, no matter what his race, color, or creed. That's what you'd see. There's no place out there for graft, or greed, or lies, or compromise with human liberties. And, uh, if that's what the grownups have done with this world that was given to them, then we'd better get those boys' camps started fast and see what the kids can do. And it's not too late, because this country is bigger than the Taylors, or you, or me, or anything else. Great principles don't get lost once they come to light. They're right here; you just have to see them again!" The Island of Misfit Wrestlers all look quizzically at each other. Then they begin to clap. Richard Headd: "Good one, sir!"
*
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*
3/3-PCW Extreme Political TV:
MATCH #1: #1 CONTENDERS MATCH FOR THE PCW WOMEN’S TITLE
‘PCW EXTREME PIZZA DELIVERY GIRL’ TESSA MARTIN (Joe SixPacks)
vs.
?????

Suave: “Okay. Tessa’s in the ring and we’re waiting for…oops…here she comes.” A small, petite woman dressed scandalously runs to the ring. Suave: “HOLY CRAP! MIA MARGARITA? THE STAR OF ‘SHOT AT SCORING WITH A SLUTTY VIDEO TELEVISION REALITY SHOW BABE?’ Mia slides into the ring. Suave: “Okay. I guess this is our match.” The bell rings. Mia circles the ring. Tessa methodically hunts her down. Eventually, Mia is trapped in the corner. Suave: “Well, I guess we’re going to find out real fast just how Mia handles herself in the ring.” Mia feigns going to the right. She feigns going to the left. Both times, Tessa has her covered. Mia suddenly rushes Tessa and… Suave: “HOLY CRAP! SHE’S…SHE’S…KISSING HER?” The crowd stands and cheers. Crowd: “PCW!...PCW!...PCW!” Tessa’s arms and legs suddenly go limp. Her eyes roll up inside her head and Mia gently lays her on the canvas. Suave: “IT WAS HER! IT WAS MIA MARGARITA WHO TOOK OUT DAWN McGILL AND DAVE THE MECHANIC AND KALEE JONES AND EMILY LIST!” Tessa lies on the canvas, not moving. Mia asks for and is handed a microphone. Mia: “Ladies and gentlemen. You can call that the…LONG…KISS…GOODNIGHT!” Mia puts her foot on Tessa’s chest. 1…2…3.
*
WINNER AND THE NEW #1 CONTENDER FOR THE PCW WOMEN’S TITLE: MIA MARGARITA
*
Suave: “Well, we’ve seen chloroform, hypnosis, tasers, extreme flatulence, weaponry of all sorts, and jumper cable used here in PCW. I guess using a powerful drug transmitted by human touch that causes temporary paralysis is okay, too.”
*
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*
UPCOMING EVENTS @ www.politicalwrestling.wordpress.com :
No Newsline or shows until 7/15
7/15- PCW Extreme Political TV
7/19- PCW Newsline with Gina Ramsey
7/22- PCW Extreme Political TV
7/26- PCW Newsline with Gina Ramsey
7/29-PCW Night of Champions
*
2009-2010 MAJOR EVENTS
9/27-PCW Lock and Load 4
11/9-PCW Night of Champions
12/27-PCW Christmas
1/27-PCW Night of Champions
3/7-PCW Weapons of Mass Political Destruction 3
4/21-PCW Night of Champions
6/6-PCW Loose Cannons Unleashed 6
*
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*
PCW COMPETITION COMMITTEE VOTE
Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, and Steny Hoyer from the Progressive Alliance and Mitch McConnell and John Boehner from the American Patriots sit down to vote. Pelosi: "We'll dispense with the debate and get right to the vote." McConnell: "I object! The wrestlers of PCW deserve-" Pelosi: "Overruled. All in favor." Pelosi, Reid, and Hoyer vote aye. Pelosi: "Motion carried. Thank you for coming."
*
Suave: "So it's true. Miss USA is coming to PCW as well as the Extreme Weather Network. Things are about to get a whole lot more interesting. Next week, classic matches from the PCW vault. In two weeks, PCW Extreme Political TV is live from the Palace of Political Extreme, PCW Hall in Archbold, Ohio. We'll see you then!"

Wednesday Wrestling Rag's E-Wrestling Top 50

CUF: "That's right...you weren't hearing things. The top 50. After a month of doing this, we've got some changes to announce. Go ahead A."

AKB: "Thanks Chuck. We are going to add on the federations at the Experts. Between the Experts, APA, the feds who frequent EW Nexus, EW Torch, and EW Zine, a total of 33 federations make up the ratings.

CUF: "The other big change is that we are going to rank the top 25 men's wrestlers instead of the top 15 and the top 15 women instead of the top 10.

AKB: "So...shall we get underway?

CUF: "We shall."

----------------

TOP 10 E-WRESTLING TAG TEAMS

1. Vox Nihili (Alias and Karina Wolfenden)- FWO 27 pts.
2. Hawk Henshaw and Latricia- PWR 22 pts.
3. Flying Vergomov's- LoC 19 pts.
4. Ron and Don Connection- Hostility 16 pts.
4. Blitzkrieg Funk- LoC 16 pts.
6. Spike Saunders and Callie Urban- FWO 15 pts.
7. Viking and Andrew O'Reilly- WTF 13 pts.
7. Team Viagra (MLM and David Noble)- FWO 13 pts.
9. Big Oil/Kirk Walstreit- PCW 12 pts.
9. Team Danger (Stephen Greer and Tyrone Walker)- DWF 12 pts.
9. The Novas- TFWF 12 pts.

----------------

AKB: "And now, it's time for our new segment, Beers Up or Beers Down."

CUF: "Anything's got to be better than Wrestling Blog Romey."

AKB: "All right, let's get to it. Topic #1. The end of the Genesis Pro match between Sean 'The Natural' Tyler and James 'Big Trouble' Kendrick.

((…Kendrix gets the upper hand, slamming Tyler’s head into the cage wall. He looks up to the top of the cage and smiles. Kendrix shouts to Tyler, You’re going for a long fall!]

Eddy Roth – Is Kendrix going to drop Tyler from the top of the cage? That would be…amazing!

[Kendrix wraps his right arm around Tyler's left leg and hoists him onto the top of the cage. Tyler's dangling upside-down, his mid-section draped on the cage wall.]

Joe Gardner – Wait, Kendrix is going to drop Tyler head-first to the floor! This would be a savage attack!

[Kendrix pushes on Tyler's feet, trying to propel him over the top of the cage. Tyler at last comes to and meets Kendrix with some resistance. Kendrix ascends to the top rope to make the push easier, but he's met with a kick to the head! Kendrix grabs the cage to keep his balance and shake the cobwebs loose, but he gets kicked again. Tyler takes the opportunity to regain his balance, and...]

Joe Gardner – Sean Tyler is standing on top of the cage!

[Tyler leaps off, executing a 180* spin and landing on Kendrix' shoulders. In one fluid motion, Tyler falls back, taking Kendrix headfirst to the mat with him.]

Joe Gardner – DOWN TO EARTH! Sean Tyler just took James Kendrix down all the way from the top rope, and Kendrix’ head bounced off the mat!…

[Kendrix is lifeless and face-down on the mat, but Tyler immediately stirs, pointing to his downed opponent. Manfred Lewis rushes to Kendrix and tries to get his attention, receiving no response…))

AKB: "Well?

CUF: "Beers up, man. That was just sick looking."

AKB: "I agree. Beer's up and props to Tyler for pulling it off. Your turn."

CUF: "Topic #2

((Kirsta uses the ropes to pull herself up, and slowly but sure gets to her feet as she then turns....

Scottywood tries to nail her with the chair but Kirsta Lewis out of NOWHERE, Nails the HELLS BITCH KICK!!!!

BUT SCOTTYWOOD DOESN'T GO DOWN!!!!

Scotty drops the chair and is staggering, and Kirsta picks the chair up, tosses it at Scotty, who catches it, and Kirsta delivers another HELLS BITCH KICK to Scottywood into the chair in his face!!!!

CRACK!!!

Scottywood goes down, Kirsta falls on top of him weakly, apparently still woozy from the SDT, her face lands just above Scottywood’s crotch, and Matt Boettcher looks confused, as he hesitates, then makes the count!!

ONE!!!! TWO!!! THREE!!!!))

CUF: "Scottywood, Scottywood, Scottywood. I don't care how good Kirsta Lewis is. How could you lose to her? You were the LSD Champion not one month ago and now you lost to a woman in a hardcore match? Man, have the mighty fallen or what? Beers freakin' Down."

AKB: "Chuck, on behalf of the rest of the human race, I'd like to welcome you to the 21st century. *I* thought that Lewis had a great game plan for taking on Scottywood and carried it out. The match was well written out and I don't see a loss to the Hellcat as that big of deal. I give it a Beers Up!"

CUF: "You would. I bet you sit up late at night watching the Lifetime channel."

AKB: "I'm just surprised your knuckles don't drag on the ground."

Chuck examines his hands.

CUF: "Nope. They're fine."

AKB: "Topic #3. A surprising ending to High Octane Wrestling's Turmoil show last Thursday night.

((HOW cameras stay focused in on the bodies of Darkwing and Aceldama who both just fell 41 feet thru burning tables.

Suddenly the HOV comes to life and we see Lee Best freaking out…

Lee Best: I AM CHANGING THE RULES….WE ARE NOW MAKING THIS MATCH A …

WHACK

A leg comes outta nowhere and kicks Lee right in the head which sends the owner of HOW over the back of his wheel chair and sends Kirsta down to the ground. She quickly jumps up and gets in the face of the person that just kicked Lee Best…

Joe Hoffman: BOBBINETTE CAREY???!!!!!!

The crowd is in a frenzy as Carey and Lewis are nose to nose……

Carey starts to walk away but then turns back towards Kirsta…

Joe Hoffman: WHAT THE FUCK???????????

Benny Newell: WHAT THE FUCK???????????

As Turmoil goes off the air we see the final image……

Bobbinette Carey planting a hard kiss on the lips of Kirsta Lewis!!!))

CUF: "YES! YES! WHOO-HOOOOOOOO! NOW THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT! BEERS WAY ****ING UP!"

AKB: "Sadly, I have to agree with you. Beers Up on that subject. It'll be fun watching where Carey v. Lewis take this from here."

CUF: "Topic #4. The greatness of Mike ****ing Polowy! He rules Dream Wrestling Federation. He rules Hostility. He freakin' rules, period."

AKB: "Dude, do you like have a man crush on Mike Polowy? Do you have his poster plastered in your bedroom?"

CUF: "Funny, you should say that. Mike sent me a note. Dear Chuck: don't take any crap from that douchebag A. Kuluha Bacardi. Give him a good clothesline for me. Sincerely, Mike Polowy."

Chuck bounces off the barca lounger and levels Bacardi with a stiff forearm shot to the neck. Bacardi and his lounger flips backwards. Bacardi ends up sprawled to the right of the upturned chair.

CUF: "Well? That's all for Beers Up or Beers Down. Let's get back to the countdown."

-----------------

TOP 15 WOMEN E-WRESTLERS
1. Kirsta Lewis- HOW, SCCW, VWF, TFWF 35 pts.
2. Michelle Masters - FWO * (Cruiserwt Chmp) 25 pts.
3. Latrisha- PWR 23 pts.
4. Bobbinette Carey- HOW 20 pts
5. Karina Wolfenden- FWO 17 pts.
6. Olivia Quinn- Siberian Wrestling 14 pts.
6. Alexia- VWF 14 pts.
6. Katherine Stryfe- HIW 14 pts.
9. Hannah Rickman- PWR 13 pts.
9. Kathryn Randall Collins- PCW 13 pts.
9. Iris Galavar- ICWF 13 pts.
9. Brandy Lust- VWF 13 pts.
13. Valoria Salinas- WMW 12 pts.
13. Heiki Heidenriech- PWR 12 pts.
13. Angelica Jones- GDW 12 pts.

--------------------

AKB: "All right, it's that time in the show where we do our Long Distance Dedication. We just received this note from Holly somewhere in Indiana and she writes: "Dear WWR Top 45: I heard what Chuck U. Farley said about women wrestlers. I would love it if Kirsta Lewis came on the show and took out Farley with a Hell's Bitch kick?" So would I, Holly. So would I.
So, here's Holly's long distance dedication.

"CUF: "Say what?"

Kirsta Lewis enters.

CUF: "Kirsta!...um...well...er......hi?"

*SWHACK*

One Hell's Bitch kick later, Chuck is laid out on the ground.

CUF (weakly): "M-mommy?"

AKB: "Thanks Kirsta.

Kirsta Lewis: "My pleasure."

AKB: "Okay, let's take a look at the new WWR Men's E-Wrestling Top 25!"

----------

TOP 25 MEN'S E-WRESTLERS
1. Sandy Makel- TFWF 50 pts.
2. Nick Stevenson- PWR 36 pts.
3. High Flyer- FWO 33 pts.
4. Shawn Hart- LoC 32 pts.
5. Alias- ACW/FWO 31 pts.
6. MDW- SCW 28 pts.
7. 'The All-Star' Shawn Anderson- WTF 27 pts.
8. Max Danger- ACW 25 pts.
9. Johnny Serious- cWo 24 pts.
9. Mr. Fantastic- VWF 24 pts.
11. Level One APW/DWF 22 pts.
12. Shane Reynolds- HOW 20 pts.

13. Aceldama- HOW 19 pts.
13. Johnny Styles- HIW 19 pts.
13. Viking- WTF 19 pts.
13. O'Beck Bahama- PCW19 pts.
17. Trevor Wilson- ACW 18 pts,

17. Max Kael- HOW 18 pts.
17. Hawk Henshaw- PWR 18 pts.
20. Jack Purcell- PWR, SW 17 pts.
20. Xander Daniels- Hostility 17 pts.
20. Mike Polowy- Hostility/DWF 17 pts.
23. Johnny Donovan- Hostility 16 pts.
23. Stephen Greer- DWF 16 pts.
23. Dake Ken- WCF 16 pts.

---------------------

AKB: "Well, that'll do it for this week. I'm A. Kuluha Bacardi...

Kirsta Lewis: "And he's Chuck U. Farley/

Chuck meekly waves, holding a bag to the side of his face. The left side of his face is puffy and swollen.

AKB: "We'll see you next week on the countdown...