Stuffy Announcer Type: And now, it's time for Political Championship Wrestling on P-SPAN. Tonight's program comes to you live from the Hammerstein Ballroom in New York City.
REPLAY FROM PCW EXTREME POLITICAL TV'Domination Inc's Seven Foot Tall Weapon of Mass Destruction' BIG MONSTER WAHLIE w/Domination Inc. vs. BARON VON MUNCHKE (Island of Misfit Wrestlers)
Suave: "BMW leans in...CLAW! THE CLAWHOLD! BARON VON MUNCHKE'S GOT THE CLAW INNNNNN." BMW swats the hand away and drills Von Munchke with the powerbomb. Suave: "That'll take the steam right out of you! BMW stalking Baron Von Munchke now...WAIT A MINUTE! THAT'S...THAT'S THE PCW TELEVISION CHAMPION SNAFU! HE'S ON THE TOP ROPE!" SNAFU jumps and crashes the TV Title belt on the top of BMW's head. BMW collapses in a heap.
The crowd stands up. McMann's eyes bulge out. Suave: "WAIT! HE'S...HE'S OUT!" Baron Von Munchke returns to a sitting position. Suave: "HE'S BEEN KNOCKED OUT!" Movie Classic can't believe it either. Movie Classic: "DON'T JUST STAND THERE! PIN HIM! PIN HIM!" The Baron's unsure what to do. He puts the Clawhold back on BMW. Movie Classic: "NO, DON'T CLAW HIM YOU MORON! PIN HIM!" Movie Classic gestures wildly at Von Munchke. The Baron finally covers. Crowd: "One. Two. Three."
Crowd: "PCW...PCW...PCW!" SNAFU and the 'Dr. Phil wannabe' Dr. Bill is in the ring. SNAFU: "Well, I guess we found out just how valuable the PCW Television Title belt is, right Mr. McMann? The TV Title ain't worth ****, eh? All it did was KNOCK YOUR GUY OUT!" Crowd: "BMW sucks! BMW sucks!" SNAFU: "That's right. It knocked your guy clean out. That's what this piece of **** title belt did-"
*DOMINATION INC.'S MISSION STATEMENT IS THE COMPLETE TAKEOVER OF POLITICAL CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING BY ANY AND ALL MEANS!*
The crowd greets 'Sports Entertainment Genius' Mr. McMann, his Corporate Bodyguard Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, CFO Gordon Guyko, Corporate Legal Felcher and Felcher, Corporate Security Rough Justice: D.B. Ruff and Connor Justice- two former police officers fired for their extreme style of law enforcement, and Mercedes with boos as they walk to the ring. McMann: "Son. Congratulations. You got a lucky shot. Now kindly run along before I employ the corporate might of this organization on you again." The crowd implores SNAFU to stay. SNAFU confers with Dr. Bill and decides to leave the ring. Crowd: "BOOOOOOOOO!" McMann struggles to be heard. McMann: "I think right now you're proving the WWE's point in why they stopped coming here." McMann's voice becomes totally drowned out at this point.
The lights suddenly go down.
McMann: "Cute. You all think you're funny. Crowd: "SHUT THE **** UP (clap, clap clap-clap-clap) SHUT THE **** UP (clap, clap clap-clap-clap) McMann: "Anyways...the reason I'm out here is to demand that Mercedes be included in the PCW Women's Championship match at Loose Cannons Unleashed 5." Mercedes raises her arms and nods in agreement. Crowd: "She's got herpes (clap, clap clap-clap-clap), She's got herpes (clap, clap clap, clap, clap). Mercedes lowers her arms and pouts. McMann: "Regardless of what you ignorant sheep think, Mercedes has more talent then the rest of the contestants combined. Kathryn Randall Collins? She washed out of Domination Inc. because she lost the title to an ordinary pizza delivery girl." The crowd stands and cheers. Crowd: "Tes-sa Mar-tin (clap, clap clap, clap, clap) Tes-sa Mar-tin (clap, clap clap, clap, clap). McMann: "SHUT UP! With Domination Inc.'s support, Mercedes could beat Tessa Martin." Mercedes nods again. Crowd: "She's a crack whore (clap, clap clap-clap-clap) She's a crack whore. (clap, clap clap-clap-clap) McMann: "Now, you're crossing the line." Crowd: "We are wrestling! (clap, clap clap-clap-clap) We are wrestling! (clap, clap clap-clap-clap). McMann: "STOP IT!" The crowd points at Mercedes. Crowd: "Buy American! (clap, clap clap-clap-clap) Buy American! (clap, clap clap-clap-clap)."
Dick Cheney and Hallie Burton walk out. More boos follow. Crowd: "Darth Cheney! (clap, clap clap-clap-clap) Darth Cheney (clap, clap clap-clap-clap). Cheney: "Mr. McMann, we have a problem. You see, Hallie Burton here is the number 3 ranked contender so logic follows that she would be the fourth member of a hypothetical four-way dance." McMann: "Then we have a big problem. Domination Inc.'s prestige and corporate position dictates that Mercedes is the fourth." Cheney: "I see. Well, I suppose we could negotiate this through and come to a conclusion that would be satisfactory to both parties." Crowd: "Too much talking (clap, clap clap-clap-clap) Too much talking (clap, clap clap-clap-clap) Hallie Burton: "The crowd's right. Let's go, Mercedes. Let's settle this in the ring." Mercedes nods. The bell rings.
MATCH #1 for a shot at the PCW Women's Title
HALLIE BURTON w/Dick Cheney, Quad R aka Randy 'Road Rage' Richardson, and W's Image Rehab and Truth Squad (Dick Cheney's Extreme Neo-Con Alliance) vs.
MERCEDES w/Domination Inc. (Domination Inc.)
Mercedes pulls Burton's hair. Mercedes then tackles her and rains down punches. Burton gets hit with a diving elbow smash. Mercedes kicks her in the gut, takes a few steps back, and scissor kicks her right back to the mat. Hallie Burton sucks chants start in the crowd. Mercedes moves back to his feet. Randy 'Road Rage' Richardson hits the ring and slaps a clawhold on Mercedes. Burton sends Mercedes into referee Davey Keels and he goes down. Burton picks up a chair and slams it over Mercedes's head! Mercedes is busted open! Richardson sets up a table. Burton to the top rope...Shooting Star Press thru the table!
Connor Justice, D.B. Ruff, Porsche Lexus from Domination Inc., Big Oil, Kirk Walstreit, and "Quad R" Randy 'Road Rage' Richardson all get involved. Big Oil clotheslines Mercedes. Connor Justice body slams Burton. Justice chokes Hallie Burton. D.B. Ruff chokes Walstreit. Walstreit gets away and clotheslines Mercedes. Porsche Lexus gets back into the match with a jumping neck snap on Hallie Burton. Quad R clotheslines Porsche Lexus and then goes after Mercedes. Justice picks up a piece of table and blasts Quad R with it!
Keels back up. Mercedes spinning mule kicks Burton and covers with a rolling reverse cradle. Keels counts. ...1 ...2 ...3
McMann climbs back in the ring with Guyko. McMann: "So...for all of you who read in the PCW Newsline that Domination Inc. was in trouble...you could not be further from the truth. There is no problem between Guyko and me. There is no problem with Domination Inc's Seven Foot Tall Weapon of Mass Destruction Big Monster Wahlie. And as you saw tonight, there'll be no problem with Domination Inc. bringing home all the PCW titles next Sunday night." Guyko steps up next. Guyko: "That's right. Domination Inc. is poised again to dominate Political Championship Wrestling and usher in a new era where 'Sports Entertainment Genius' Mr. McMann's vision of what PCW could be is brought to fruitition." Crowd: "Change the channel (clap, clap clap-clap-clap) Change the channel (clap, clap clap-clap-clap).
PCW NEWSLINE with Gina Ramsey
Huge Argument in Domination Inc. Suite After the Show
PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein reports that a major blow up took place between Domination Inc. CEO 'Sports Entertainment Genius' Mr. McMann and his CFO Gordon Guyko. Bystanders outside could hear yelling and screaming coming from the suite some thirty minutes after the show ended.It appears Guyko is very upset over the recent turn of events. He has brought in several high rolling investors to Domination Inc. and he is feeling intense heat from them for results. BMW's upset loss Wednesday night to the King of Old School Gimmicks Baron Von Munchke was the final straw. Guyko ripped into McMann over his management and for the amount of money spent on talent with little or nothing to show. Guyko essentially gave McMann an ultimatum: Domination Inc. brings home two of the four titles at Loose Cannons Unleashed 5 or he is through.
Tentative 2009-2010 PCW Schedule of Events Released:
7/29-PCW Night of Champions
9/27-PCW Lock and Load 4
11/9-PCW Night of Champions
1/27-PCW Night of Champions
3/7-PCW Weapons of Mass Political Destruction 3
4/21-PCW Night of Champions
6/6-PCW Loose Cannons Unleashed 6
Ring Announcer (and very pregnant) Charlene Ann Beckworth in the ring.
Charlene Ann: "Our next match is the first semi-final match in the PCW Tag Team Tournament. In the ring at this time, representing Dick Cheney's Extreme Neo-Con Alliance-Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit!" 'The Alaskan Pitbull' Sarah Palin walks up with Grizzly Adam and Hunter the Hunter. Charlene Ann: "And their opponents, from SarahPAC- the team of Grizzly Adam and Hunter the Hunter.!"
MATCH #2 Semi-Final #1 of the PCW Tag Team Tournament
BIG OIL and KIRK WALSTREIT (Dick Cheney's Extreme Neo-Con Alliance) vs.
HUNTER the HUNTER and GRIZZLY ADAM w/'The Alaskan Pitbull' Sarah Palin (SarahPAC)
Bell rings. Big Oil chops Hunter the Hunter. Hunter jabs Big Oil back and tags in Grizzly Adam. Big Oil bounces Grizzly Adam off the ropes and clotheslines him. Big Oil with chops. Big Oil whips Grizzly Adam again into the ropes and clotheslines him. Grizzly Adam crawls back and tags Hunter the Hunter back in. They lockup. Hunter whips Big Oil to the corner of the ring. Grizzly Adam German suplexes Big Oil. Big Oil bounces Grizzly Adam off the ropes and clotheslines him. Kirk Walstreit in. Walstreit nails Grizzly Adam with a double underhook suplex. Grizzly Adam comes back and scoops Walstreit up and powerslams him through a table! He goes for the cover. Keels counts. ...1 ...2 Walstreit kicks out.
Grizzly Adam tags in Hunter the Hunter. Walstreit with a flying knee. Big Oil slides chair in the ring. Walstreit sets the chair down on Hunter the Hunter...Walstreit up top..Splash onto the chair! Cover. The ref starts the count. ...1 Hunter kicks out. Walstreit with a jumping sidekick on Hunter. Hunter gets to the corner and tags Grizzly Adam in. Grizzly Adam promptly gets hit with a dragon screw from Walstreit. Grizzly Adam Hunter the Hunter back in. Hunter punches Walstreit. Hunter pins Walstreit against the ropes and chokes him with his forearm. Forearm to the head. Quad R Randy 'Road Rage' Richardson again hits the ring. Suplex to Hunter. Quad R to the top rope...Senton Bomb!
Walstreit knees Hunter. Then an elbowdrop. Walstreit hooks Hunter's face and drives him into a chair. Hunter's face is busted open! Walstreit covers...1 ...2 ...3
Charlene Ann: "The winners of this match, Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit! Next week on PCW Loose Cannons Unleashed 5, they will meet the winner of the next match between Starz N. Stripes/'No Frills' Chris Escondido and Cadillac/Jaguar."
UPDATED PCW LOOSE CANNONS UNLEASHED 5 CARD:
-Main Event: O'Beck Bahama (Progressive Alliance) will put his PCW Title on the line at PCW Loose Cannons Unleashed 5 against Domination Inc's 'Seven Foot Tall Weapon of Mass Destruction' Big Monster Wahlie!
-The championship match of the tag team title tournament to detemine the new PCW Tag Team champions.
-SNAFU (Independent) defends the PCW Television Title against Newt Tron Bomb (American Patriots)
-Angry Left Wing Bloggers (Progressive Alliance) vs. W's Image Rehab and Truth Squad (Dick Cheney's Extreme Neo-Con Alliance)
- 4-Way Dance for the PCW Women's Title: Kathryn Randall Collins aka...KRC (Progressive Alliance) vs. Mercedes (Domination Inc.) vs. Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen (SarahPAC) vs. PCW Women's Champion 'Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl' Tessa Martin (American Heartland Coalition)
-Janeane Garofalo (Progressive Alliance)vs. 'Queen of Political Extreme' Ann Coulter in a Grudge Cage Deathmatch.
The E-Wrestling Magazine is the home for all the latest news on e-federations all across the country. Check out all the latest stories on PCW and other great e-federations:
Hostility: A Look at the World Heavyweight Championship Match at South of Heaven
Hostility: A Look at Hooligan vs Daniels at South of Heaven
Ben Interviews Level One and Crazy Man
Caldweller's PRIME Ultraviolence 2009 Report (Part 1)
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The E-Wrestling Rumor Mill #20
Hostility: A Look at the Ultimate Showdown at South of Heaven
Political Championship Wrestling and Superstar Wrestling Federation to Join Up with High Octane TV
UPCOMING EVENTS @ www.politicalwrestling.wordpress.com :
6/3- PCW Extreme Political TV
6/5- PCW Newsline
6/7- Political Championship Wrestling Presents: Loose Cannons Unleashed 5
6/10- PCW Extreme Political TV
6/12- PCW Newsline
6/14- PCW on P-SPAN
6/17- PCW End of the Season Extravaganza
Charlene Ann: "Our final match tonight is semi-final #2 of the PCW Tag Team Tournament. On their way to the ring at this time, accompanied by 'Rahm-bo' Rahm Emanuel, from the Progressive Alliance, 'No Frills' Chris Escondido and Starz N. Stripes!" Emanuel, Escondido and Starz N. Stripes come to the ring. Charlene Ann: "And their opponents, representing Domination Inc., the team of Cadillac and Jaguar." Cadillac and Jaguar climb into the ring.
MATCH #3 Semi-Final #2 of the PCW Tag Team Tournament
'No Frills' CHRIS ESCONDIDO and STARZ N. STRIPES w/Rahm Emanuel (Progressive Alliance) vs.
CADILLAC and JAGUAR (Domination Inc.)
The bell rings. Cadillac places 'No Frills' Chris Escondido on the turnbuckle and executes a front-layout suplerplex. Follow up clothesline to Escondido. Cadillac quickly tags in Jaguar and then double underhooks Escondido and tiger drives him. Jaguar chimes in with punches, allowing Cadillac to hit a belly-to-back suplex on Escondido. Starz N. Stripes throws a chair at Cadillac. Starz spins around and kicks the chair in his face. 'No Frills' Chris Escondido gets up. Jaguar hits Escondido with a double arm DDT. Escondido gets to the corner and tags Starz N. Stripes in. Jaguar punches Starz N. Stripes repeatedly. Escondido comes back in and grabs ahold of Jaguar's waist....Overhead Belly to Belly Suplex. Jaguar tags Cadillac in.
Starz goes for a German suplex table but Cadillac blocks it. Starz hits the inverted DDT though. Cadillac tags Jaguar back in. Corkscrew legdrop on Jaguar. Starz sets a chair on Jaguar's face... Leg Drop. Cover. Referee Davey Keels counts. ...1 Jaguar kicks out. Escondido tagged back in by Starz and hits Jaguar with a backward kick. Escondido tackles Jaguar and punches him in the head. Escondido goes for a Piledriver but Jaguar flips out of it. Escondido clotheslines Jaguar over the ropes to the floor. Jaguar whips 'No Frills' Chris Escondido into the steel guardrail. He follows up with a jumping clothesline. Escondido manages to pull himself up. Jaguar jumps onto Escondido's shoulders, twists, and DDT's him onto the floor. Connor Justice and D.B. Ruff run around to interfere.
Justice with a chokehold on Escondido. D.B. Ruff chokes Starz with his boot. Ruff goes for the taser but Rahm Emanuel runs over and chokes him with a microphone cable. F-Bomb to Ruff. Emanuel grabs a chair...he smashes Justice over the head with it! F-Bomb to Justice. Emanuel clotheslines Jaguar. F-Bomb to Jaguar. Quad R in again. He chokes Escondido with a microphone cable. Emanuel over, Quad R hooks in a double underhook and tiger drives him on the floor. Quad R sets up a table and drapes Escondido on a table. Quad R leg drops Escondido through the table.
Quad R throws Escondido back into the ring. Jaguar nails a corkscrew legdrop on Escondido. A spinning leg lariat follows. Escondido in trouble. Jaguar thrust kicks him in the head. Jaguar covers and hooks the leg. Keels counts the pin. ...1 ...2 ...3
Charlene Ann: "The winners of this match, Cadillac and Jaguar! They will face Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit next week at PCW Loose Cannons Unleashed 5 for the PCW Tag Team Title!"