Tuesday, March 31, 2009

3/31-PCW Extreme Political TV: Finals of PCW's Extreme March Mayhem Women's and Tag Team Tournaments

Last Week on PCW Extreme Political TV:

Quarterfinals of the Extreme March Mayhem Tag Team Tournament:

#8 GRIZZLY ADAM and HUNTER the HUNTER w/ ‘The Alaskan Pitbull Sarah Palin (SarahPAC) DEF. #1 A. TOM BOMB and HY DROGEN BOMB w/ ‘The Straight Shootin’ Maverick’ John McCain (McCain’s Marauders) when A-Bomb stepped in Hunter the Hunter's bear trap and tapped out.

#15- DRUNKEN LUCHADORS- THE FLYIN’ MARTINI BROTHERS (Independent) DEF. #7- NEWT TRON BOMB and INCENDIARY BOMB (McCain’s Marauders) when Don Martini passes out on top of Newt Tron Bomb for the pin.

#13- SNAFU and DVD (Dr. Bill’s Island of Misfit Wrestlers) DEF. #5 ‘Extreme Vegan’ BROCK COLE LEE and GREENPETE (Green World Order). SNAFU continues to show that he's learning from watching endless hours of Sabu matches by nailing GreenPete with the Arabian Facebuster to score the upset win.

#3 JACK SCHETT and BULL SCHETT w/Horst Schett and Hans Gruber- the Extreme German Schnauzer (Progressive Alliance) DEF. #11 THE DIXIE CHUCKS – Chuck-mily and Chuck-artie w/Chuck-atalie (Progressive Alliance). Guest Color Commentator Bob Knight becomes upset when the Dixie Chuck suplex Jack Schett through the announcer's table. Knight throws a chair and KO's Chuck-mily and Bull Schett clotheslines Chuck-artie to gain the pin.

Quarterfinals of the Extreme March Mayhem Women's Tournament:

#4 MIA MARGARITA (Domination Inc.) DEF. #5 CODE PINK (Progressive Alliance). Mia thrills the crowd...well, mainly the guys...by giving Code Pink the Long Kiss Goodnight before getting the pin.

#1 KATHRYN RANDALL COLLINS (Domination Inc.) DEF. #8 “Trailer Park Sweetheart’ TANYA HARDY (White Trash Posse) with the Politics of Personal Destruction finisher.

#6 DAISY CUTTER-BOMB (Domination Inc.) DEF #14 DR. ANNABEL LECKTOR aka…Annabel the Cannibal (Independent) by forfeit.

#2 KALEE JONES- The Eskimo Queen w/Sarah Palin (SarahPAC) DEF. #7 “Queen of All Media” OPAL WINFREE w/Opal’s Flock- New Age Sensitive Guy and Soccer Mom (Progressive Alliance). Jones overcomes the interference of Soccer Mom and New Age Sensitive Guy to deliver an Eskimo Pieface to Winfree and advance to the semi-finals.

PCW EXTREME POLITICAL TV: March 31th from the Elmwood High School Gymnasium in Bloomdale, Ohio
HOSTS: Johnny Suave and his life size cardboard cut-out of Shania Twain


Crowd:
"PCW!...PCW!...PCW!" Suave: "WELCOME TO P-C-W!" Huge cheer from the crowd. Suave: "I'M JOHNNY SUAVE! THIS HOT PIECE OF CARDBOARD IS SHANIA TWAIN. WE ARE LIVE AT THE ELMWOOD HIGH SCHOOL GYMNASIUM AND WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT. AS YOU KNOW, SUNDAY NIGHT'S PCW ON P-SPAN WINNOWED THE TAG TEAM AND WOMEN'S TOURNAMENT DOWN TO THE FINAL TWO."

REPLAY FROM PCW ON P-SPAN: MATCH #1- SEMI FINAL #1 OF THE WOMEN'S TOURNAMENT
#6 DAISY CUTTER-BOMB w/Domination Inc. (Domination Inc.) vs. #2 KALEE JONES- The Eskimo Queen w/'The Alaskan Pitbull' Sarah Palin (SarahPAC)

Kalee came out on fire and controlled the match until Domination Inc. got involved. Kathryn Randall Collins through powder in Jones's face. That prompted 'The Alaskan Pitbull' Sarah Palin to intervene. Palin took a swipe at KRC but was restrained by Rough Justice aka...D.B. Ruff and Connor Justice- two former policemen fired because of their extreme methods of dispensing justice. Rough Justice handcuffed Palin to the ring ropes and Television Reality Show Star Mia Margarita delivered a 'Long Kiss Goodnight' on the Eskimo Queen. Daisy added a Daisy Cutter Power Bomb for good measure and that was that.

WINNER: DAISY CUTTER-BOMB

Post match Domination Inc. CEO 'Sports Entertainment Genius' Mr. McMann entered the ring to gloat over the fact that two Domination Inc. wrestlers were guaranteed to meet Tuesday night for a shot at the PCW Women's title. McMann downplayed the controversy over KRC meeting with Hillary Clinton and declared the Domination Inc. is back. McMann taunted Palin, bringing out the Executive Director of the American Patriots, Michael Steele.

Steele pleaded with McMann to stop. McMann sent the Corporate Enforcer Whiskey Tango Foxtrot over and WTF chokeslammed Steele. Mia went over to give The Alaskan Pitbull her own special Long Kiss Goodnight before SarahPAC's Hunter the Hunter and Grizzly Adam along with the PCW Women's champion 'PCW Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl' Tessa Martin cleared the ring.

REPLAY: MATCH #2- SEMI FINAL #1 OF THE TAG TEAM TOURNAMENT
#13 SNAFU and DVD w/Dr. Bill (Dr. Bill's Island of Misfit Wrestlers) vs. #8 GRIZZLY ADAM and HUNTER the HUNTER (SarahPAC)

The Cinderella run of SNAFU and DVD came to a crashing end. DVD crotched himself early in the match attempting a guillotine leg drop on the guardrail and was no factor. Hunter the Hunter whipped SNAFU into the corner and trapped him with the Bear Trap Submission hold. SNAFU tapped out.

WINNER: GRIZZLY ADAM and HUNTER the HUNTER (SarahPAC)

REPLAY: MATCH #3- SEMI FINAL #2 OF THE TAG TEAM TOURNAMENT
#15 DRUNKEN LUCHADORS DAN and DON MARTINI (Independent) vs. #2 JACK SCHETT and BULL SCHETT w/Horst Schett and Hans Gruber- the Extreme German Schnauzer (Progressive Alliance)

In a battle of former PCW Tag Team champions, the Schetts looked as if they would cruise easily to victory. Then Domination Inc. hit the ring in the form of the PCW Tag Team Champions Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit- the Wall Street Market Analyst with the Mancrush on ESPN's Kirk Herbstreit. Rough Justice again got involved and tasered both Schetts. Dan Martini passed out on Jack to give the Martinis the win.

WINNER: DRUNKEN LUCHADORS DAN and DON MARTINI

Again, 'Sports Entertainment Genius' Mr. McMann walks out. He states the corporation always get their way and tonight that meant bad news for Jack and Bull Schett. McMann knows that pound for pound the Schetts are the best tag team in PCW- but they aren't the smartest. He calls the Martinis 'washed up' and 'irrelevant' and says he'll do what it takes to make sure the Martinis make it to the PCW Tag Team title match on 4/7's PCW Night of Champions.

Suave: And it sets up this match. Over the past few days, the tension between Domination Inc. and former 2 time PCW Women's Champion Kathryn Randall Collins has nearly reached critical mass. It all started with the firing of Quadruple R after PCW Weapons of Mass Political Destruction.

REPLAY: 3/19-PCW NEWSLINE
Domination Inc. Suite
Quadruple R charges into Mr. McMann’s office. ‘Corporate Enforcer’ Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, former PCW Women’s Champion Kathryn Randall Collins, Daisy Cutter-Bomb, and Rough Justice are also there. Quad R: “YOU!” He lunges at McMann. WTF grabs him and starts for the door. McMann: “Hold on. Let him have his exit interview.” WTF sets him down. Quad R: “I WANT TO KNOW WHAT THE #$## THAT WAS ALL ABOUT LAST NIGHT!” Mr. McMann: “Your inability to act as a team player. We gave you chance after chance to win the PCW Title. You wanted to do it on your own and I granted your request. And at the precise moment where the title was there to be won, you lost your composure and took out the referee. You are a liability that I no longer can afford to keep.” Quad R: “YOU PROMISED ME THE PCW TITLE! AND ALL YOU DID WAS HOLD ME BACK.” McMann: “I see. So that’s why you told someone in authority that I had four hired hands coming in at PCW Weapons of Mass Political Destruction.” Quad R: “What are you talking about?” McMann: “Don’t insult my intelligence. You’re the mole. You sold out Domination Inc. in order to get your preference. You told someone about the hired hands. You betrayed everything we’ve been working for.” Quad R: “LIKE HELL I DID!” McMann: “Really, now? Who else would have done it? Whiskey Tango Foxtrot? Rough Justice? No. You had the motive. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have plans to finalize for-” Quad R leaps over the desk and drives McMann and his chair backwards. WTF immediately races around the table and grabs Quad R by the neck and yanks him off Mr. McMann. McMann: “GET HIM OUT OF HERE!” WTF drags Quad R towards the exit. Quad R kicks him in the balls and lunges again towards McMann. Enraged, WTF again clutches Quad R’s neck and pulls him back. He puts him in the powerbomb position and turns him towards a glass table. KRC comes over. KRC: “WHISKEY! NO!” WTF stops. McMann climbs over the table and hits Quad R in the chest. WTF lets go and Quad R goes through the glass table.

Suave: PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein later reported that Quad R had significant internal injuries. KRC was very upset about what happened and since then, the relationship between Domination Inc. and KRC has gone downhill quickly. Sunday night, things finally blew apart...let's go back..."

MATCH #1 from 3/29-PCW on P-SPAN Special:
MIA MARGARITA (Domination Inc.) vs.
KATHRYN RANDALL COLLINS (Domination Inc.)

-Johnny Suave and P-SPAN's Brian Lamb commentating
The rest of Domination Inc. circles the ring. Suave: "Well? I wonder how long this match will go for?" Lamb: "What do you mean?" Suave: "It means that they're both on the same team. Last time, KRC poked Mia in the chest with her finger and won the match." Lamb: "Well she must have a very strong finger." Suave: "Actually, Brian-...ah, never mind." The bell rings and Mia circles around KRC. She stops. KRC pokes her with the finger. Mia just stands there. KRC pokes her again. Mia doesn't fall. KRC pokes her a third time causing Mia to take a step back. But she doesn't go down. Suave: "I KNEW IT!" Lamb: "Knew what? She didn't fall down." Suave: "I just knew that there was something up and Mia might not go down to the fingerpoke of doom and...never mind...LONG KISS GOODNIGHT! LONG KISS GOODNIGHT!" Mia launches herself forward and liplocks KRC. Suave: "KRC STARTS TO FADE!" She drops to one knee, then two. Suave: "MR. McMANN'S IN THE RING!" Mia pulls back and then goes over and holds KRC upright. Mr. McMann gets right in her face. McMann: "Look. I didn't want to do this. You're too good of a wrestler to let go. But, I found out something about you that I can't tolerate- weakness. That's right. Your reaction to what happened to Quadruple R shows weakness. I don't give a damn what happened to him. And as an intregal and important part of this corporation, neither should have you. I can't tolerate weakness in Domination Inc. I wasn't afraid to discharge Quadruple R and I'm certainly not afraid to turn you loose either. Mia! Finish it, NOW!"

Mia bends down and again mashes lips with KRC. KRC's arms and legs go limp. Mia throws her down on the canvas and sticks a foot on her chest. Suave: "I DON'T BELIEVE IT. ONE. TWO. TH-NO! HOLY CRAP! KRC JUST PULLED HER SHOULDER UP AND THEN SWATTED MIA'S LEGS OUT FROM UNDER HER! MR. McMANN CAN'T BELIEVE IT!" Mia hits head first and stays down. KRC motions and a mic is thrown to her. KRC: "Hey Mr. McMann! I've got my own little surprise for you tonight." She pulls off a protective band-aid type strip from her lips. KRC: "I guess Quad R definitely wasn't the mole because he wasn't the one who told me ALL about your little plan tonight." Mr. McMann's face turns flush red. He gestures to the other members of Domination Inc. McMann: "GET HER! TAKE HER OUT NOW!" Daisy Cutter-Bomb hops in the ring. KRC and her start to slug it out. Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit- the PCW Tag Team Champions, also make a move towards the ring. Walstreit gets clobbered from behind. Suave: "IT'S RAHM-BO...RAHM EMANUEL OF THE PROGRESSIVE ALLIANCE- F-BOMB! EMANUEL DROPS AN F-BOMB ON KIRK WALSTREIT!" Hillary Clinton runs down with the Clinton Political Pitbulls- James Carville and Paul Begala, and the former PCW Tag Team Champions Jack and Bull Schett. Emanuel F-Bombs both D.B. Ruff and Connor Justice of Rough Justice and chase Corporate Legal Counsel Felcher and Felcher around the ring. Carville and Begala run Mr. McMann and Corporate Enforcer Whiskey Tango Foxtrot back to the locker room area. The Schetts go right for Walstreit and Big Oil. Suave: "THERE THEY GO! THE SCHETTS HAVE WAITED A LONG TIME TO GET THEIR HANDS ON THE PCW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!"

KRC and Daisy continue to brawl. Mia begins to move. She gets up and sneaks behind KRC. Suave: "MIA'S UP! AND KRC DOESN'T SEE HER!" Mia gets ready to pucker up. KRC whirls around, grabs her, and throws her into Daisy Cutter-Bomb. Mia's lips hit Daisy's skin and the drug that causes temporary paralysis takes it effect. Daisy staggers forward. KRC grabs both and sticks their heads underneath her armpits. Suave: "DOUBLE DDT! KRC LIFTS MIA UP! POLITICS OF PERSONAL DESTRUCTION!" KRC covers. 1...2...3.

WINNER: KATHRYN RANDALL COLLINS


Suave:
"HOLY CRAP! WHAT A TURN OF EVENTS! FIRST, DOMINATION INC. TURNS ON KRC. THEN MIA DELIVERS THE LONG KISS GOODNIGHT...BUT KRC IS READY FOR IT. THEN THE PROGRESSIVE ALLIANCE COMING DOWN TO HELP KRC. IS SHE BACK IN THE PROGRESSIVE ALLIANCE?" Hillary Clinton enters the ring and holds KRC's arms up. Suave: "YES! KRC BACK IN THE PROGRESSIVE ALLIANCE. BRIAN! WHAT DO YOU THINK? BRIAN! BRIAN?" Suave looks down. Lamb's fainted and on the floor. Suave: "Apparently, too much girl on girl contact got to him."

PCW NEWSLINE

American Patriots Infighting Continues...

Insiders within the American Patriots report that Executive Director Michael Steele continues to struggle to bring together the disparate elements of the American Patriots. Steele has enlisted the help of a young American Patriot- Eric Cantor- to help bridge the gap and make the American Patriots relevant again. But with so many strong personalities heading up the various splnter groups, Steele's and Cantor's job could continue to be complicated at best.

McCain's Marauders headed up by 'The Straight Shootin' Maverick' John McCain continue to stay out of the American Patriots. 'The Alaskan Pitbull' Sarah Palin is busy promoting SarahPAC. RINO (Republican in Name Only) just arrived on the scene with Arlen Spector, Olympia Snowe, and Susan Collins and promises to throw another monkey wrench into the mix.

Steele's challenge over the next few months is to find a way to pull the American Patriots back together

THE LATEST ON QUADRUPLE R
Quadruple R is now listed in good condition and should be released from the hospital in the next couple days.

W REHABILITATION TEAM FORMS
Suave: "Okay. We're back live here on PCW Extreme Political TV and-" A huge chorus of boos erupts. Suave: "Okay. Ari Fleischer, Dana Perino, and Andrew Card are headed to the ring. Why? I guess we're going to find out shortly." Fleischer takes the mic. Fleischer: "That's fine. Go ahead and boo. We don't care. We've taken harder shots than that. We can take it." Perino: "After the shabby way former PCW CEO George W was treated on his final night here and as a result of the continued cheap shots by certain members of the Progressive Alliance at him, we're here to make clear if we find out that anyone, that means ANYONE, who continues to bash George W. then they're going to have to deal with us." Card: "That's right. George W. continues to take a bad rap after a couple months of being out of office and we're going to set the record straight. You can call us- the W Rehabilitation Team." Card drops the mic and the three leave. Suave: "Okay. It's okay to stick up for your boss...even if he royally screws up- OW! OW! STOP IT! LET GO OF ME.."

MATCH #2- PCW EXTREME MARCH MAYHEM TAG TEAM TOURNAMENT CHAMPIONSHIP
#15 DRUNKEN LUCHADORS DAN and DON MARTINI (Independent) vs.
#8 GRIZZLY ADAM and HUNTER the HUNTER w/'The Alaskan Pitbull' Sarah Palin (SarahPAC)
Suave: "Sunday night, Sarah Palin found herself handcuffed to the ring ropes with Mia Margarita ready to give her the Long Kiss Goodnight SarahPAC's Kalee Jones was taken down by Domination Inc. Tonight, can SarahPAC rebound and gain a shot at the PCW Tag Team Title? Will Domination Inc. interfere in the match?" The Martinis inbibe in their usual pre-match ritual. Both Martini Brothers chug down a bottle of Jack Daniels and then break the bottle over their heads. Suave: “Yes, it’s a little unorthodox. But what the hell, they used to be the champions. They can do whatever they want.”

The bell rings. Dan Martini and Hunter the Hunter to start. Palin cheers her team on outside the ring. Lock up in the middle of the ring. Hunter goes for an armdrag takedown but Dan stumbles over his own two feet and falls anyways. Hunter with kicks. Dan gets up and inadvertently headbutts Hunter in the balls. Dan stumbles back to the corner- tags Don in. Don attempts to climb in but gets hung up in the ring ropes. Hunter senses an opportunity and charges. Don flops in just as Hunter arrives and eats the corner turnbuckle. Hunter wobbles back and falls over Don. Crowd chants for the Drunken Luchadors. A brief lock up and an attempted knee by Hunter that whiffs when Don staggers out of the way. Hunter tries rights, and then the boots…and misses again. Disgusted, Hunter turns and tags in Grizzly Adam.

Suave: "Well, let's see if Grizzly Adam has better luck with the Drunken Luchador." Another lock up. Grizzly picks up Don...press slam. Grizzly picks him up again...bear hug! Grizzly squeezes the hell out of Don. *BRRRACCCKKK!* Suave: "HOLY CRAP! DON MARTINI JUST...BURPED...IN GRIZZLY'S FACE!" Grizzly waves his hand in front of his face to get the smell away. Don staggers back and tags Dan back in. Dan attempts a missile drop kick and misses. Grizzly picks up him and power slams him to the canvas. Dan somehow pulls himself back up. Grizzly charges for a lariat. Dan loses his footing and drops on his seat. Grizzly misses and slams into the turnbuckle. He, too, falls over Dan to the canvas. Dan tries to climb up the corner turnbuckle. He makes it to the top...and falls out of the ring through a table. Suave: "HOLY CRAP! You know? It's bad enough when someone puts you through a table. But when you put yourself through a table....sheesh."

Grizzly up on the top of the turnbuckle. Don Martini crawls up to the top rope as well. Martini loses his footing and crotches himself. The movement causes Grizzly to lose his footing and he crotches himself on the other turnbuckle. Don falls back into the Tree of Woe. Hunter the Hunter in the ring. He goes for a baseball slide. Don suddenly tumbles back and his feet connect with Hunter's forehead as he flips backwards. Suave: "HOLY CRAP! WHAT A MOVE!" Palin can't believe it. Palin: "OH, COME ON!" Don lands on top of Hunter. 1...2...Hunter kicks out. Dan Martini is back on his feet and trying to climb back into the ring. Palin over. *WHACK* Suave: "She just nailed Dan Martini with the hockey stick!" Dan falls back right into the 'Alaskan Pitbull' and steamrolls her over.

Grizzly hits another press slam on Don Martini. Lift and BEAR HUG! Suave: "HE'S GOT IT CINCHED IN! COULD THIS BE...oh, oh." Don starts to violently wretch. Grizzly squeezes harder. Don wretches and then... Suave: "GREEN SLIME!...no...PROJECTILE VOMIT!" A solid stream of vomit hits Grizzly and he loses his footing. Don passes out on top of him. 1...2...3.

WINNER OF THE TAG TEAM TOURNAMENT: DRUNKEN LUCHADORS DAN and DON MARTINI

Suave:
"I DON'T BELIEVE IT! THE DRUNKEN LUCHADORS, OUT OF PCW FOR OVER A YEAR, COME BACK AND TAKE THE PCW MARCH MAYHEM TAG TEAM TOURNAMENT. They're trying to give them the trophy...but they're both passed out. Okay...congratulation Martinis and here's the WRRRRRAHH! Beer Gratuitous Vomiting Moment of the Night."

REPLAY: THE WRRRRRRRRRAH! BEER GRATUITOUS VOMITING MOMENT OF THE NIGHT
Don wretches in slow motion. He opens his mouth and a stream (think water from a fire hose) of vomit hits Grizzly in the face. He loses his footing. Don passes out. Game over.

Suave: "Well, as they clean up the ring, we'll be back after this commercial break."







Suave: "Okay...we're back and ready for our main event. After what happened Sunday night between Domination Inc. and Kathryn Randall Collins, this could be a real wild ride."

MATCH #3 PCW EXTREME MARCH MAYHEM WOMEN'S TOURNAMENT CHAMPIONSHIP
#6 DAISY CUTTER-BOMB w/Domination Inc. (Domination Inc.) vs.
#2 KATHRYN RANDALL COLLINS w/Hillary Clinton and the Clinton Political Pitbulls (Progressive Alliance)
Suave:
"Here we go!" The bell rings. Suave: "Both women cautiously come out. They lock up in the middle. KRC pushes Daisy down." Daisy shoots KRC a glare and pops right back up. Suave: "Lock up. OW! Kick to the gut by Daisy Cutter-Bomb. She's got an arm wringer on now. KRC tries to reverse...and she does. WHOA! BACK KICK BY DAISY AND KRC IS IN SOME SERIOUS PAIN!" KRC doubles over. Then she snaps and rams Daisy's head into the turnbuckle. Suave: "KRC ramming the head of Daisy Cutter-Bomb over and over and over into the turnbuckle." Mr. McMann, flanked by his Corporate Enforcer Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, looks on with some concern. Suave: "Body slam by KRC. KRC turns it o-verrrr...into a Boston Crab! ROUGH JUSTICE IN THE RING! HOLY CRAP! D.B. RUFF CLOTHESLINES KRC!" Rahm Emanuel gets on the ring apron and yells at Ruff. The Clinton Political Pitbulls walk to the other end of the ring causing Ruff and Connor Justice to retreat back to their corner.

Suave: "Daisy on offense now. Scoop slam. Off the ropes...elbow drop." Daisy calls for a chair. Kirk Walstreit obliges. Suave: "She's got a chair...BUT RAHM EMANUEL TAKES IT AWAY FROM HER!" The crowd cheers. Suave: "HERE COMES ROUGH JUSTICE AGAIN! *CLANG* CHAIRSHOT TO RUFF! *CLANG* CHAIRSHOT TO JUSTICE!" Emnauel turns and faces Daisy Cutter-Bomb. KRC swoops in from behind. Suave: "ROLL-UP! ONE...TWO...NO! DAISY KICKS OUT AT TWO. Front face-lock by KRC. Ruff and Justice crawl from the ring. KRC turns it around...Neckbreaker! Cover. One...two...Daisy kicks out. KRC pulls her up by the hair. That can't feel good. She drapes her over the ropes." KRC splashes Daisy from behind driving her throat into the ring ropes. Daisy slingshots off and lands back first on the canvas. Suave: "Nasty move there by KRC. Now Emanuel hands her a chair. *CLANG* HOLY CRAP!" Daisy wobbles and falls into the ropes. *CLANG* Suave: "RIGHT TO THE BACK!" KRC puts the chair down. Suave: "Headlock...DDT ON THE CHAIR! COVER. 1...2...HERE WE GO! IT'S THE QUEEN OF POLITICAL EXTREME ANN COULTER!" Coulter attacks KRC with lefts and rights. Suave: "LAURA INGRAHAM IN THE RING TOO! THEY'RE DOUBLE TEAMING KRC AND RAHM EMANUEL BREAKS IT UP! HERE COMES THE CLINTON POLITICAL PITBULLS! CARVILLE AND BEGALA WADE IN AND WE'VE GOT EVERYONE IN THE RING! THE RIGHT WING BRIGADIERS ATTACKED KRC AND NOW IT'S A FREE FOR ALL. EMANUEL DROPS AN F-BOMB ON D.B. RUFF! OHHHH. COULTER JUST KICKED HIM IN THE NETHER REGIONS. HOLY CRAP! NOW WHO'S COMING DOWN? IT'S THE PCW SECURITY DIRECTOR DAWN McGILL! McGILL GRABS INGRAHAM BY THE HAIR AND FLINGS HER OVER THE TOP ROPE!" The ring slowly clears. Suave: "McGILL KICKS EMANUEL OUT OF THE RING AND TELLS THE DOMINATION INC CONTINGENT THAT THEY'D BETTER STAY RIGHT WHERE THEY ARE."

McGill and Mr. McMann engage in a conversation. Suave: "Dawn McGill restoring some order to this very important match. The winner meets PCW Women's Champion 'PCW Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl' Tessa Martin next week for the title. RAKE TO THE EYES BY DAISY CUTTER-BOMB!" Daisy lowers her head and pushes KRC back hard into the corner turnbuckle. Suave: "That'll knock the wind right out of you." Daisy does it again. And again. And again. The fifth time, KRC sidesteps and then pushes Daisy headfirst into the turnbuckle. Suave: "KRC rings Daisy's bell with that move. Daisy staggers back. DIAMOND CUTTER! DIAMOND CUTTER! KRC COVERS. ONE...TWO...NO! DAISY SOMEHOW GETS HER LEFT SHOULDER UP. NOW SHE'S GOT HER UP...AND...YES! POLITICS OF PERSONAL DESTRUCTION! KRC COVERS AND COULTER AND INGRAHAM ARE IN THE RING AGAIN!" Coulter tackles KRC and they start rolling around the ring. Suave: "CAT-FIIIIIIGHT! CAT-FIIIIIIGHT! AND HERE COMES THE ANGRY LEFT WING BLOGGERS!" Daily Kos, Media Matters for America, Paul Krugman, and Arianna Huffington hit the ring. Suave: "AGAIN, THE MATCH BREAKS DOWN AND DAWN McGILL WADES IN. KRC HAD THIS MATCH WON UNTIL THE QUEEN OF POLITICAL EXTREME ANN COULTER TACKLED HER AND STOPPED THE COUNT. McGILL THROWS COULTER THROUGH THE ROPES...WHOA...HUFFINGTON JUST POSTED DAISY CUTTER-BOMB. KRC WITH A SECOND POLITICS OF PERSONAL DESTRUCTION FINISHER. SHE COVERS. ONE...TWO...THREE.

WINNER OF THE PCW EXTREME MARCH MAYHEM WOMEN'S TOURNAMENT: KATHRYN RANDALL COLLINS

Suave:
"KRC GETS THE WIN AND THE TITLE SHOT. BUT THIS THING ISN'T OVER YET. AND NOW! WHO? YES IT IS! IT'S BLUE DOG D AND RINO! THESE TWO MAY NOT SHARE THE SAME AFFILITATION BUT THEY'RE COMMITTED TO WORKING TOGETHER. RINO WITH A SPEAR! SPEAR! SPEAR! HE NEARLY TOOK KIRK WALSTREIT'S SKIN OFF HIS BODY. BLUE DOG D TOSSES INGRAHAM. HE TOSSES OUT COULTER. NEXT WEEK, PCW NIGHT OF CHAMPIONS! FOUR TITLE MATCHS AND A WHOLE LOT MORE! I'M JOHNNY SUAVE AND WE'LL SEE YOU NEXT WEEK!"

Sunday, March 29, 2009

3/30-PCW Newsline: Results from PCW Special on P-SPAN and Sarah Palin in Handcuffs...again

From Paulding High School, Paulding, OH:

Johnny Suave welcomes everyone to PCW's special on P-SPAN. Brian Lamb is on color commentary tonight.

MATCH #1- SEMI FINAL #1 OF THE WOMEN'S TOURNAMENT
#6 DAISY CUTTER-BOMB w/Domination Inc. (Domination Inc.) vs.
#2 KALEE JONES- The Eskimo Queen w/'The Alaskan Pitbull' Sarah Palin (SarahPAC)

Kalee came out on fire and controlled the match until Domination Inc. got involved. Kathryn Randall Collins through powder in Jones's face. That prompted 'The Alaskan Pitbull' Sarah Palin to intervene. Palin took a swipe at KRC but was restrained by Rough Justice aka...D.B. Ruff and Connor Justice- two former policemen fired because of their extreme methods of dispensing justice. Rough Justice handcuffed Palin to the ring ropes and Television Reality Show Star Mia Margarita delivered a 'Long Kiss Goodnight' on the Eskimo Queen. Daisy added a Daisy Cutter Power Bomb for good measure and that was that.

WINNER: DAISY CUTTER-BOMB

Post match Domination Inc. CEO 'Sports Entertainment Genius' Mr. McMann entered the ring to gloat over the fact that two Domination Inc. wrestlers were guaranteed to meet Tuesday night for a shot at the PCW Women's title. McMann downplayed the controversy over KRC meeting with Hillary Clinton and declared the Domination Inc. is back. McMann taunted Palin, bringing out the Executive Director of the American Patriots, Michael Steele.

Steele pleaded with McMann to stop. McMann sent the Corporate Enforcer Whiskey Tango Foxtrot over and WTF chokeslammed Steele. Mia went over to give The Alaskan Pitbull her own special Long Kiss Goodnight before SarahPAC's Hunter the Hunter and Grizzly Adam along with the PCW Women's champion 'PCW Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl' Tessa Martin cleared the ring.

MATCH #2- SEMI FINAL #1 OF THE TAG TEAM TOURNAMENT
#13 SNAFU and DVD w/Dr. Bill (Dr. Bill's Island of Misfit Wrestlers) vs.
#8 GRIZZLY ADAM and HUNTER the HUNTER (SarahPAC)

The Cinderella run of SNAFU and DVD came to a crashing end. DVD crotched himself early in the match attempting a guillotine leg drop on the guardrail and was no factor. Hunter the Hunter whipped SNAFU into the corner and trapped him with the Bear Trap Submission hold. SNAFU tapped out.

WINNER: GRIZZLY ADAM and HUNTER the HUNTER (SarahPAC)

MATCH #3- SEMI FINAL #2 OF THE TAG TEAM TOURNAMENT
#15 DRUNKEN LUCHADORS DAN and DON MARTINI (Independent) vs.
#2 JACK SCHETT and BULL SCHETT w/Horst Schett and Hans Gruber- the Extreme German Schnauzer (Progressive Alliance)

In a battle of former PCW Tag Team champions, the Schetts looked as if they would cruise easily to victory. Then Domination Inc. hit the ring in the form of the PCW Tag Team Champions Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit- the Wall Street Market Analyst with the Mancrush on ESPN's Kirk Herbstreit. Rough Justice again got involved and tasered both Schetts. Dan Martini passed out on Jack to give the Martinis the win.

WINNER: DRUNKEN LUCHADORS DAN and DON MARTINI

Again, 'Sports Entertainment Genius' Mr. McMann walks out. He states the corporation always get their way and tonight that meant bad news for Jack and Bull Schett. McMann knows that pound for pound the Schetts are the best tag team in PCW- but they aren't the smartest. He calls the Martinis 'washed up' and 'irrelevant' and says he'll do what it takes to make sure the Martinis make it to the PCW Tag Team title match on 4/7's PCW Night of Champions.

MATCH #4- SEMI FINAL #2 OF THE WOMEN'S TOURNAMENT
#4 MIA MARGARITA w/Domination Inc. (Domination Inc.) vs.
#1 KATHRYN RANDALL COLLINS (Domination Inc.)
Everyone expected KRC to win with the dreaded 'Fingerpoke of Doom' she used at PCW Weapons of Mass Political Destruction to hold on to the title. Except this time, Mia wasn't playing along.

Mia gets KRC in a liplock and gives her the Long Kiss Goodnight. KRC's arms and legs become rubbery. She drops to her knees. Mr. McMann then entered the ring again and called KRC 'weak' because of her reaction to what happened to Quadruple R (McMann put Quad R through a glass table causing significant injury to him). McMann says weakness is something he can't tolerate in Domination Inc. He wasn't afraid to turn loose Quadruple R for being a 'mole' and passing on corporate information to PCW officials and he's not afraid of KRC either. McMann orders Mia to finish the job. Mia kisses KRC and Collins collapses in the ring. Mia turns her over. 1...2...KRC gets her shoulder up and flips Mia.

Collins gets a mic and tells McMann she's got her own little surprise for him tonight. She rips off the protective strip on her lips that kept Mia's drug from being transmitted. KRC adds that 'contrary to Mr. McMann's wishful thinking' that Quad R was not the mole Then Rahm Emanuel and the Clinton Political Pitbulls- James Carville and Paul Begala hit the ring and engaged Domination Inc. KRC nails Mia with the Politics of Personal Destruction. Cover. 1...2...3.

WINNER: KATHRYN RANDALL COLLINS

TUESDAY NIGHT ON PCW EXTREME POLITICAL TV:
The finals of the tag team and Women's tournament. Here's the card:

Because of technical computer problems, PCW wasn't able to bring you tonight's action in its usual form. However, PCW will show the entire Kathryn Randall Collins- Mia Margarita match Tuesday night on PCW Extreme Political TV.

Also:

WOMEN'S TOURNAMENT CHAMPIONSHIP- winner to get a shot at the PCW Women's title.
#6 DAISY CUTTER-BOMB w/Domination Inc. (Domination Inc.) vs.
#1 KATHRYN RANDALL COLLINS (Progressive Alliance)

After everything that transpired tonight, this match becomes a huge grudge match. The winner faces PCW Women's Champion 'PCW Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl' Tessa Martin.

And:

TAG TEAM TOURNAMENT CHAMPIONSHIP- winner gets a shot at the PCW Tag Team belts.
#15 DRUNKEN LUCHADORS DAN and DON MARTINI (Independent) vs.
#8 GRIZZLY ADAM and HUNTER the HUNTER w/Sarah Palin (SarahPAC)

UPCOMING EVENTS:
3/31- PCW Extreme Political TV- Championships of the tag team and women’s tournament
4/2- PCW Newsline
4/6- PCW Newsline
4/7- PCW Night of Champions
4/9- PCW Newsline
4/13- PCW Newsline
4/14- PCW Extreme Political TV

Thursday, March 26, 2009

3/26-Political Championship Wrestling Newsline: Extreme March Mayhem Results, Domination Inc. News, American Patriots Infighting

3/24 PCW Extreme Political TV Results:

Quarterfinals of the Extreme March Mayhem Tag Team Tournament:
#8 GRIZZLY ADAM and HUNTER the HUNTER w/ ‘The Alaskan Pitbull Sarah Palin (SarahPAC) DEF. #1 A. TOM BOMB and HY DROGEN BOMB w/ ‘The Straight Shootin’ Maverick’ John McCain (McCain’s Marauders) when A-Bomb stepped in Hunter the Hunter's bear trap and tapped out.

#15- DRUNKEN LUCHADORS- THE FLYIN’ MARTINI BROTHERS (Independent) DEF. #7- NEWT TRON BOMB and INCENDIARY BOMB (McCain’s Marauders) when Don Martini passes out on top of Newt Tron Bomb for the pin.

#13- SNAFU and DVD (Dr. Bill’s Island of Misfit Wrestlers) DEF. #5 ‘Extreme Vegan’ BROCK COLE LEE and GREENPETE (Green World Order). SNAFU continues to show that he's learning from watching endless hours of Sabu matches by nailing GreenPete with the Arabian Facebuster to score the upset win.

#3 JACK SCHETT and BULL SCHETT w/Horst Schett and Hans Gruber- the Extreme German Schnauzer (Progressive Alliance) DEF. #11 THE DIXIE CHUCKS – Chuck-mily and Chuck-artie w/Chuck-atalie (Progressive Alliance). Guest Color Commentator Bob Knight becomes upset when the Dixie Chuck suplex Jack Schett through the announcer's table. Knight throws a chair and KO's Chuck-mily and Bull Schett clotheslines Chuck-artie to gain the pin.

Quarterfinals of the Extreme March Mayhem Women's Tournament:
#4 MIA MARGARITA (Domination Inc.) DEF. #5 CODE PINK (Progressive Alliance). Mia thrills the crowd...well, mainly the guys...by giving Code Pink the Long Kiss Goodnight before getting the pin.

#1 KATHRYN RANDALL COLLINS (Domination Inc.) DEF. #8 “Trailer Park Sweetheart’ TANYA HARDY (White Trash Posse) with the Politics of Personal Destruction finisher.

#6 DAISY CUTTER-BOMB (Domination Inc.) DEF #14 DR. ANNABEL LECKTOR aka…Annabel the Cannibal (Independent) by forfeit.

#2 KALEE JONES- The Eskimo Queen w/Sarah Palin (SarahPAC) DEF. #7 “Queen of All Media” OPAL WINFREE w/Opal’s Flock- New Age Sensitive Guy and Soccer Mom (Progressive Alliance). Jones overcomes the interference of Soccer Mom and New Age Sensitive Guy to deliver an Eskimo Pieface to Winfree and advance to the semi-finals.

The Line up for the 3/29 PCW on P-SPAN special:

Tag Team semi-finals:
#8 Grizzly Adam and Hunter the Hunter (SarahPAC) vs. #15 Independent Drunken Luchadors Don and Dan Martini
#13 SNAFU and DVD (Dr. Bill's Island of Misfit Wrestlers) vs. #3 Jack Schett and Bull Schett (Progressive Alliance)


Women's Semi-finals:
#1 Kathryn Randall Collins (Domination Inc.) vs. #4 Mia Margarita (Domination Inc.)
#2 Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen (SarahPAC) vs. #6 Daisy Cutter-Bomb (Domination Inc.)

PCW RANKINGS:

PCW WORLD CHAMPION: ‘The New Rookie Sensation’ O’Beck Bahama (Progressive Alliance)
CONTENDERS:
#1- ‘The Angry Highway Warrior’ Quadruple R (Domination, Inc.)
#2- Kevin Scott (Joe SixPacks)
#3- A. Tom Bomb (McCain's Marauders)

PCW WOMEN’S CHAMPION: 'PCW Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl' Tessa Martin (Joe SixPacks)
CONTENDERS:
#1- Kathryn Randall Collins (Domination Inc.)
#2- Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen (SarahPac)
#3- Mia Margarita (Domination, Inc.)

PCW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit (Domination, Inc.)
CONTENDERS:
#1- Schett Brothers- Jack Schett and Bull Schett (Progressive Alliance)
#2-Grizzly Adam and Hunter the Hunter (SarahPAC)
#3- A. Tom Bomb and Hy Drogen Bomb (McCain's Marauders)

PCW TELEVISION CHAMPION: 'No Frills' Chris Escondido (Progressive Alliance)
CONTENDERS:
#1- SNAFU (Dr. Bill's Island of Misfit Wrestlers)
#2- Newt Tron Bomb (McCain's Marauders)
#3- Dave the Mechanic (Joe SixPacks)

DOMINATION INC. NEWS
PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein reports that 'Sports Entertainment Genius' Mr. McMann continues to be up in arms over the revelation that Quadruple R, whom he unceremoniously fired last week, was NOT in fact the 'mole' feeding sensitive corporation information to the press.

Corporate Spokesman Bradley Scott Wilson Esq had this comment: "Domination Inc. strenuously denies that there was a negotiated agreement in place with FBI Special Agent Charlize Sterling to bring Dr. Annabel Lecktor into the corporation. Also, the notion that Domination Inc. has an internal spy delivering sensitive information to the media is completely absurd on its face."

McMann played damage control yesterday and today to tamp down any more discord with Domination Inc. He tried to assure Kathryn Randall Collins that there was no secret deal with Dr. Annabel aka 'Annabel the Cannibal' Lecktor to take her place nor plan to screw her over Sunday night at the PCW on P-SPAN special. This in response to rumors that KRC had a meeting with Hillary Clinton of the Progressive Alliance working for PCW CEO Barack Obama about possibly returning to the fold.

Stay tuned, things could get very interesting Sunday night when KRC meets Mia Margarita for a chance to move into the finals and a guaranteed title shot.

AMERICAN PATRIOTS CONTINUE THE INFIGHTING
Insiders within the American Patriots report that Executive Director Michael Steele continues to struggle to bring together the disparate elements of the American Patriots. Steele has enlisted the help of a young American Patriot- Eric Cantor- to help bridge the gap and make the American Patriots relevant again. But with so many strong personalities heading up the various splnter groups, Steele's and Cantor's job could continue to be complicated at best.

McCain's Marauders headed up by 'The Straight Shootin' Maverick' John McCain continue to stay out of the American Patriots. 'The Alaskan Pitbull' Sarah Palin is busy promoting SarahPAC. RINO (Republican in Name Only) just arrived on the scene with Arlen Spector, Olympia Snowe, and Susan Collins and promises to throw another monkey wrench into the mix.

Steele's challenge over the next few months is to find a way to pull the American Patriots back together

THE LATEST ON QUADRUPLE R
Quadruple R was listed in fair condition as he recovers from the injuries he suffered when he went through a glass table in 'Sports Entertainment Genius' Mr. McMann's office last Wednesday.

UPCOMING SCHEDULE OF EVENTS:
3/24- PCW Extreme Political TV- Quarterfinals of the tag team and women’s tournament
3/26- PCW Newsline
3/29- PCW Special on P-SPAN- Semi Finals of the tag team and women’s tournament
3/30- PCW Newsline
3/31- PCW Extreme Political TV- Championships of the tag team and women’s tournament
4/2- PCW Newsline
4/6- PCW Newsline
4/7- PCW Night of Champions

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

3/24-PCW Extreme Political TV: Quarterfinals of PCW's Extreme March Mayhem

TONIGHT’S EXTREME MARCH MAYHEM MATCHES ON PCW EXTREME POLITICAL TV:

The quarterfinals of the Tag Team Tournament tonight at the Hobart Arena in Troy, OH:
#1 A. Tom Bomb and Hydrogen Bomb (McCain’s Marauders) vs.
#8 Grizzly Adam and Hunter the Hunter (SarahPAC)

#5 ‘Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee and GreenPete (Green World Order) vs.
#13- SNAFU and DVD (Dr. Bill’s Island of Misfit Wrestlers)

The quarterfinals of the Women’s Tournament to be held tonight at Hobart Arena in Troy, OH:
#6- Daisy Cutter-Bomb (Domination Inc.) vs.
#14- Dr. Annabel Lecktor aka ‘Annabel the Cannibal’ w/Special FBI Agent Charlize Sterling

#7- ‘The Queen of All Media’ Opal Winfree (Progressive Alliance) vs.
#2- Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen (SarahPac)

The quarterfinals of the Tag Team Tournament tonight at Ol’ Man Hanson’s Barn in Chelsea MI:
#11- Dixie Chucks: Chuck-mily and Chuck-atalie (Progressive Alliance) vs.
#3- Jack Schett and Bull Schett (Progressive Alliance)

#7- Newt Tron Bomb and Incendiary Bomb (McCain’s Marauders) vs.
#15- The Flyin’ Martini Brothers (Independent)

The quarterfinals of the Women’s Tournament to be held tonight at Ol’ Man Hanson’s Barn in Chelsea MI:
#1- Kathryn Randall Collins (Domination Inc.) vs.
#8- ‘Trailer Park Sweetheart’ Tanya Hardy (White Trash Posse)

#5- Code Pink (Progressive Alliance) vs.
#4- Mia Margarita (Domination Inc.)

PCW EXTREME POLITICAL TV: March 17th from Hobart Arena in Troy, Ohio and Ol’ Man Hanson’s Barn in Chelsea, MI
HOSTS: Johnny Suave and his life size cardboard cut-out of Shania Twain

Crowd: “PCW!...PCW!...PCW!...PCW!...PCW!...PCW!...” Suave: “HELLO…AND WELCOME TO P-C-W!” A thunderous cheer follows. Crowd: “PCW!...PCW!...PCW!...” Suave: “I AM JOHNNY SUAVE. THIS HOT PIECE OF CARDBOARD IS SHANIA TWAIN! WE ARE AT THE HOBART ARENA IN TROY, OHIO. TONIGHT, PCW IS DOING SOMETHING A LITTLE DIFFERENT. BECAUSE OF THE EXTREME MARCH MAYHEM TOURNAMENTS WE’RE RUNNING, WE HAVE TWO SHOWS GOING ON AT THE SAME TIME! LET’S GO RIGHT TO THE ACTION!”

MATCH #1 AT THE HOBART ARENA (IN PROGRESS):
#8 GRIZZLY ADAM and HUNTER the HUNTER w/ ‘The Alaskan Pitbull Sarah Palin (SarahPAC) vs.
#1 A. TOM BOMB and HY DROGEN BOMB w/ ‘The Straight Shootin’ Maverick’ John McCain (McCain’s Marauders)

Suave: “A-Bomb in control right now.” A-Bomb with lefts on Hunter the Hunter. Whip into the ropes. Shoulderblock on Hunter. H-Bomb tags in and nails a Suplex. H-Bomb stomps away and then pulls Hunter up. Front face lock. Hunter low blows H-Bomb but is kept from tagging in Grizzly Adam after escaping. Overhead belly to belly on Hunter who rolls to his corner and tags Grizzly Adam in. He’s a house of fire on H-Bomb. H-Bomb has a kick caught. He tries the spin kick. Grizzly ducks and delivers the inverted DDT. Cover. 1…2 H-Bomb kicks out. H-Bomb misses a charge and rams the corner turnbuckle. Grizzly catches him backing up and hits a DDT. Again, he covers. A-Bomb in the ring and breaks it up at 2. Suave: “COULD WE SEE AN UPSET?” Hunter the Hunter comes in and punches away at A-Bomb. H-Bomb and Grizzly trade blows back and forth. Sarah Palin comes over and slides the bear trap in the corner. She then distracts A-Bomb. Hunter the Hunter pushes A-Bomb into the corner. *SNAP* Suave: “BEAR TRAP! BEAR TRAP! A-BOMB’S IN BIG TROUBLE NOW!” H-Bomb is doubleteamed by Hunter and Grizzly Adam. A-Bomb desperately tries to get the bear trap off his foot. John McCain comes over and tries to pry the trap apart. A-Bomb taps out. Suave: “THAT’S IT! HOLY CRAP! HUNTER THE HUNTER AND GRIZZLY ADAM PULL OFF A BIG TIME UPSET!”

WINNER: GRIZZLY ADAM and HUNTER the HUNTER

Suave: “So, the team from SarahPAC moves on to the semi-finals Sunday night where they’ll meet the winner of the #5 ‘Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee and GreenPete (Green World Order) vs. #13- SNAFU and DVD (Dr. Bill’s Island of Misfit Wrestlers) match. It looks like we have a final in a match up at Ol’ Man Hanson’s Barn. Let’s go to our special announcers tonight, CBS’s Jim Nantz and Billy Packer.”

Nantz: “Thanks, Johnny. It’s a pleasure to be here tonight. Billy, we just saw a…very interesting match take place.” Packer: “First off, Jim. I can’t believe CBS brought me out of retirement to cover some…wrestling tournament. This is so beneath me. This is so beneath you. And besides, I don’t see anyone from the ACC here.” Nantz: “Well, let’s check out the end of our first match.”

REPLAY: END OF MATCH #1 AT OL’ MAN HANSON’S BARN
#5 CODE PINK (Progressive Alliance) vs.

#4 MIA MARGARITA (Domination Inc.)
Mia has Code Pink liplocked in the corner. Code Pink’s arms and leg slowly give way. Nantz: “Billy, a decisive win here for Mia Margarita. She certainly has a…distinctive finisher, wouldn’t you say?” Packer: “Jim, it’s nothing I can’t get on my hotel television at two in the morning. Is this really it? They’re not paying me enough to do this.” Packer gets up and leaves. Nantz: “Well, thanks Billy. It looks like the second match of the night is just about to start. Let’s go back to the ring.”

MATCH #2 AT OL’ MAN HANSON’S BARN
#7- NEWT TRON BOMB and INCENDIARY BOMB (McCain’s Marauders) vs.

#15- DRUNKEN LUCHADORS- THE FLYIN’ MARTINI BROTHERS (Independent)
The Martinis imbibe in their usual pre-match ritual. Both guzzle down a bottle of Jack Daniels and then break the bottle over their heads. Nantz: “Hmm. You don’t see that very often.” The bell rings. I-Bomb and Don Martini to start. I-Bomb full out charges at Don. Don stumbles to the left and I-Bomb eats the corner turnbuckle. Don with a wild left hand that misses by two miles. I-Bomb goes for a Suplex. Don falls through and accidently knees I-Bomb in the groin. Don staggers up but his head nails I-Bomb in the groin again. Nantz: “My notes state that the Martinis are PCW Legends, two time PCW Tag Team champions. I can see why with the trouble they’re giving the Bomb Brothers.” I-Bomb unleashes a right hand that sends Don into the ropes. Don shoots back out and trips- his head again connects with I-Bomb’s groin. Nantz: “Apparently, we have breaking news right outside. Let’s check it out and we’ll come right back to this exciting match.”

OL’ MAN HANSON’S YARD
Billy Packer grumbles as he goes to his car. Ol’ Man Hanson comes up toting his trusty BB gun. Ol’ Man Hanson: “HEY! I thought I told you whippersnappers not to park in my garden.” Packer’s car is an inch into the garden. Packer: “It’s not in your garden. Look.” Packer bends over to point to where the garden starts. *BLAM!* Packer: “AAARRGHHHH! YOU SHOT ME IN THE ASS!” Hanson: “You’re going to get another one if you don’t get your ass out of here right away.” Whimpering, Packer gets into his car and makes haste away from Ol’ Man Hanson’s barn.

Back to the match
Nantz: “Oooh. Ow. It appears that guy shot Billy Packer in his posterior. That…um…well, folks, that can’t feel good. Back to the action now.” N-Bomb in and tries to lock up with Dan Martini. Dan belches in his face and breaks the hold. Dan staggers back to the ropes. N-Bomb tries to lariat him over the top but Dan collapses and it’s N-Bomb who goes over the top rope. I-Bomb goes over to check on him. N-Bomb gets up and…I-Bomb suddenly clutches his throat and falls unconscious. Nantz: “I believe N-Bomb just accidently tooted- which is actually his finisher the ‘Silent But Deadly.’ And…wow! They aren’t kidding either.” Dan Martini on the top rope. He attempts a splash on N-Bomb. He misses badly. N-Bomb back in the ring with a steel-folding chair. He swings wildly and whiffs on Don when the Martini falls down. Don quickly gets back up and his head bonks the chair right into N-Bomb’s face. N-Bomb down. Don passes out on top of the chair on top of N-Bomb. 1…2…3.

WINNER: THE DRUNKEN LUCHADORS- THE FLYIN’ MARTINI BROTHERS

Nantz: “Well, another big upset here in the PCW Extreme March Mayhem Tag Team Tournament. More action right after this…”

DOMINATION INC. SUITE
‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ CEO Mr. McMann leans back in his chair with CFO Gordon Guyko. McMann: “Well, now that the mole problem has been taken care of, our new plan can go forward.” Guyko: “I hope you’re right. We’re spending a lot of money and we don’t have a lot to show for it.” McMann: “Don’t worry, Gordon. We’re going to get things back on track tonight.”

----------

Check out all the action of EBW and BWE at Basic Bloganomics.

BWE Blog Center – BWE CEO David Funk gives you the low-down on what’s going on in BWE.
This week:
-A brand new Filipina star signs with BWE
-After serious contract negotiations, one of the great bloggers will be coming aboard to BWE Promotions! -Philly The Kid has called for a Press Conference live in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, USA! -We'll have the latest signing news and so much more!

All this and more at Basic Bloganomics.

------------

Suave: “Johnny Suave back here. SNAFU and DVD have just pulled off their second huge upset in two weeks.”

REPLAY: MATCH #2 AT THE HOBART ARENA
#5 ‘Extreme Vegan’ BROCK COLE LEE and GREENPETE (Green World Order) vs.

#13- SNAFU and DVD (Dr. Bill’s Island of Misfit Wrestlers)
Suave:
“IT’S SNAFU WITH THE ARABIAN FACEBUSTER ON GREENPETE!” Brock Cole Lee in. DVD mounts the corner turnbuckle. He jumps. He…connects? Suave: “DVD FINALLY HIT A JUMP! HOLY CRAP!” SNAFU covers. 1…2…3.

WINNER: SNAFU and DVD

Suave: “So the Cinderella story of the tournament, SNAFU and DVD, advance on to the semi-finals. They’ll meet Grizzly Adam and Hunter the Hunter on Sunday night. Daisy Cutter-Bomb out with the rest of Domination Inc. and ready for her match tonight against the always tough, Dr. Annabel aka…Annabel the Cannibal…Lecktor.” Daisy’s in the ring. The ring announcer calls out Dr. Lecktor and Nancy Pelosi comes out instead. Suave: “Okay? Nancy Pelosi of the Progressive Alliance is walking to the ring now.” Pelosi climbs in. Pelosi: “Excuse me…EXCUSE ME! Dr. Annabel Lecktor cannot be here at the match tonight because Mr. McMann…that’s right…Mr. McMann completely forgot that Dr. Lecktor isn’t allowed to leave Buckland County.” Mr. McMann watches in shock. Pelosi: “So, your little scheme for Dr. Lecktor to win tonight and then screw over Kathryn Randall Collins Sunday night isn’t going to work. So I declare Daisy Cutter-Bomb the winner by forfeit and she can explain to KRC what’s going on Sunday.”

MATCH #3 AT THE HOBART ARENA
#6 DAISY CUTTER-BOMB (Domination Inc.) vs.
#14 DR. ANNABEL LECKTOR aka…Annabel the Cannibal (Independent)

WINNER BY FORFEIT: DAISY CUTTER-BOMB


Suave:
“NANCY PELOSI JUST SMACKED DOWN MR. McMANN WHO APPARENTLY HAD A PLAN IN THE WORKS INVOLVING DR. ANNABEL LECKTOR. THE QUESTION NOW IS- WHAT WILL FORMER PCW WOMEN’S CHAMPION KATHRYN RANDALL COLLINS THINK?”

BACKSTAGE-HILLARY CLINTON’S OFFICE
KRC walks to the door and knocks on it. The door opens and Hillary Clinton pops her head out. Hillary: “Kathryn! It’s so good to see you. Come in!” KRC goes inside.

Suave: “Interesting. KRC just won her match with ‘Trailer Park Sweetheart’ Tanya Hardy and went right back to Hillary Clinton’s office. Perhaps, KRC sees the writing on the wall. Back to Jim Nantz.”

RECAP-MATCH #3 AT OL’ MAN HANSON’S BARN
#8 “Trailer Park Sweetheart’ TANYA HARDY (White Trash Posse) vs.
#1 KATHRYN RANDALL COLLINS (Domination Inc.)

Nantz: “Thanks, Johnny. Boy, this has been fun tonight. As Johnny alluded to, KRC easily dispatched Tanya Hardy tonight. KRC seemed to have a bit of an edge tonight as not only did she soundly defeat Hardy but she also took out her White Trash Posse as well.”

MATCH #4 AT OL’ MAN HANSON’S BARN #11 THE DIXIE CHUCKS – Chuck-mily and Chuck-artie w/Chuck-atalie (Progressive Alliance) vs.
#3 JACK SCHETT and BULL SCHETT w/Horst Schett and Hans Gruber- the Extreme German Schnauzer (Progressive Alliance)

Nantz: “It’s kind of like the old and the new here. The Schett Brothers- the new guard. The Dixie Chucks, three guys named Chuck who are huge fans of the Dixie Chicks, are the Progressive Alliance old guard. And speaking of old, it’s my privilege to bring here a true coaching legend, Bob Knight.” Knight: “@!#$ you, Jim.” The bell rings. Jack Schett and Chuck-mily start off. They trade quick go behinds before Chuck-mily gets the takedown. Jack reaches the ropes to break. Out of nowhere, Jack hits a spin kick to the stomach. Chuck-mily responds with 2 dropkicks and sends Jack out of the ring to the floor. Chuck-mily to the top rope. Horst Schett sneaks around and pushes him off. Bull Schett attacks Chuck-mily on the floor and catches a kick from Chuck-artie. Jack sweeps his leg and goes for a chair. Both Dixie Chucks hightail into the ring.

Jack Schett back in the ring. Chuck-artie charges into a back elbow. Jack crotches Chuck-artie in the corner and ties him up in the "The Tree of Woe. Chuck-atalie tries to sneak up but gets a right hand from Bull Schett. Horst Schett places the chair in position and Jack baseball slides it into Chuck-artie. The ref gets hung up with Bull Schett and allows Chuck-mily to springboard off Chuck-atalie and nail Jack Schett with a lariat. Nantz: “Bob, what do you think of the action so far?” Knight: “Good teamwork. Not a lot of defense on either part.” Chuck-artie charges into Bull Schett’s boot. Bull covers. 1...2… Chuck-artie’s shoulder gets up. Bull delivers the boot again. A pair of elbows and a legdrop. Bull covers again. 1…2. Chuck-artie kicks out. Jack tags back in and locks in a side headlock on Chuck-artie. Russian leg sweep and leg drop. Cover. 1…easy kick out by Chuck-artie. Bull runs in and whips Chuck-artie through the ropes. Bull tries to splash him from the top rope but Chuck-atalie drops the rope down and causes Bull to fall to the floor. Chuck-mily with a front facelock on Jack. He whips Jack to the corner and locks in a neck vice. Belly-to-belly on Jack and a cover. 1…2..no. Jack kicks out. Chuck-mily continues to choke Jack on the second rope. Chuck-atalie and Chuck-mily pull Jack from the ring. Neckbreaker on the floor by Chuck-mily. Hurracanrana. Spin kick. Chuck-mily and Chuck-artie hold Jack Schett up by the announcer’s table. SUPLEX THROUGH THE ANNOUNCER’S TABLE. Crowd: “HOLY #$#@! HOLY @#$#!” Nantz: “That was a devastating move by the Dixie Chucks.” Knight becomes enraged and for no reason, heaves a chair and blasts Chuck-mily with it. Bull Schett clotheslines Chuck-artie and covers. 1…2…3.

WINNER: JACK SCHETT and BULL SCHETT

Nantz: “Coach Knight proves to be the different in the match with his chair throwing prowness and the Schetts go through to the semi-finals. It’s been fun doing this. I’m Jim Nantz and let’s go back to Johnny Suave.”

MATCH #4 AT HOBART ARENA (IN PROGRESS)
#7 “Queen of All Media” OPAL WINFREE w/Opal’s Flock- New Age Sensitive Guy and Soccer Mom (Progressive Alliance) vs.
#2 KALEE JONES- The Eskimo Queen w/Sarah Palin (SarahPAC
)
Suave: “WE ARE IN THE MIDDLE OF AN ABSOLUTE DONNYBROOK HERE BETWEEN KALEE JONES AND OPAL WINFREE. Winfree charges and gets a quick go-behind. She follows up with a paintbrush and then turns it into a headlock. Jones shoots Winfree off into the ropes. Drop-toehold into a single-leg crab by Jones. Soccer Mom gets on the apron and tries to distract the referee. New Age Sensitive Guy apologizes before hitting a big kick to the back of Jones. Winfree grabs a front-facelock and follows with some knees to the face. She covers. 1…2…Kalee kicks out. Irish whip in and Kalee ducks under a reverse elbow. She hits a flying cross-body on Winfree. Again, a two-count. Winfree fights back with a big boot to the face. She throws the Eskimo Queen into the corner and distracts the referee. Soccer Mom and New Age Sensitive Guy work over Kalee in the corner. Winfree brings her in by the hair and covers. Another two. Kalee reverses a clothesline and turns it into a neckbreaker. Spinning back kick as Winfree tries to charge into the corner. Clothesline from Kalee. Butt bump to the face of Winfree in the corner. Kalee drags Winfree into the middle of the ring. She lifts Winfree up. Suave: “ESKIMO PIE FACE!” Winfree out. Kalee covers. 1…2…3.

WINNER: KALEE JONES

Suave: “A GREAT MATCH FROM START TO FINISH! SUNDAY NIGHT IS OUR SPECIAL ON P-SPAN. HERE’S THE CARD:

Tag Team Semi-Finals:
#8 Grizzly Adam and Hunter the Hunter (SarahPAC) vs. #13 SNAFU and DVD (Dr. Bill’s Island of Misfit Wrestlers)
#3 Jack Schett and Bull Schett (Progressive Alliance) vs. #15 Drunken Luchadors Don and Dan Martini (Independent)

Women’s Semi-Finals:
#4 Mia Margarita (Domination Inc.) vs. #1 Kathryn Randall Collins (Domination Inc.)
#6 Daisy Cutter-Bomb (Domination Inc.) vs. #2 Kalee Jones (SarahPAC)


-----------
Links:

Political Championship Wrestling at Blogspot

Political Championship Wrestling at Wordpress

American Heartland Bar and Grill

Prairie Depot Press at Blogspot

Screw the BCS at Blogspot

Monday, March 23, 2009

3/23-PCW Newsline: Quarterfinal pairings for PCW's Extreme March Madness

Extreme March Mayhem pairings for Tuesday's PCW Extreme Political TV:

The quarterfinals of the Tag Team Tournament:

#1 A. Tom Bomb and Hydrogen Bomb (McCain’s Marauders) vs.
#8 Grizzly Adam and Hunter the Hunter (SarahPAC)

#5 ‘Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee and GreenPete (Green World Order) vs.
#13- SNAFU and DVD (Dr. Bill’s Island of Misfit Wrestlers)

#11- Dixie Chucks: Chuck-mily and Chuck-atalie (Progressive Alliance) vs.
#3- Jack Schett and Bull Schett (Progressive Alliance)

#7- Newt Tron Bomb and Incendiary Bomb (McCain’s Marauders) vs.
#15- The Flyin’ Martini Brothers (Independent)

The quarterfinals of the Women’s Tournament:

#1- Kathryn Randall Collins (Domination Inc.) vs.
#8- ‘Trailer Park Sweetheart’ Tanya Hardy (White Trash Posse)

#5- Code Pink (Progressive Alliance) vs.
#4- Mia Margarita (Domination Inc.)

#6- Daisy Cutter-Bomb (Domination Inc.) vs.
#14- Dr. Annabel Lecktor aka ‘Annabel the Cannibal’ w/Special FBI Agent Charlize Sterling

#7- ‘The Queen of All Media’ Opal Winfree (Progressive Alliance) vs.
#2- Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen (SarahPac)

THE LATEST ON QUADRUPLE R
Quadruple R was listed in fair condition as he recovers from the injuries he suffered when he went through a glass table in 'Sports Entertainment Genius' Mr. McMann's office last Wednesday.

UPCOMING SCHEDULE OF EVENTS:
3/24- PCW Extreme Political TV- Quarterfinals of the tag team and women’s tournament
3/26- PCW Newsline
3/29- PCW Special on P-SPAN- Semi Finals of the tag team and women’s tournament
3/30- PCW Newsline
3/31- PCW Extreme Political TV- Championships of the tag team and women’s tournament
4/2- PCW Newsline
4/6- PCW Newsline
4/7- PCW Night of Champions

Thursday, March 19, 2009

3/19-PCW Newsline: 1st Round Results of PCW's Extreme March Mayhem

3/17-PCW EXTREME POLITICAL TV RESULTS

-ESPN’s Jay Bilas, Colin Cowherd, and Digger Phelps rundown the Mid-Major teams that didn’t make the NCAA tournament. Doug Gottlieb and Dickie V tried to stick up for the little guys but Bilas etal aren’t having any of it. Then Creighton basketball coach Dana Altman, St. Mary’s coach Randy Bennett, and Davidson coach Bob McKillop, three teams that should have been in the tournament but were snubbed in favor of average teams from the ‘power’ conferences, run-in and attack Bilas, Cowherd, and Phelps. Then they put all three through tables.

-Domination Inc. CEO ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann parties with several AIG executives who are spending their bonus money.

Tag Team Tournament results:
#1- A. Tom Bomb and Hy Drogen Bomb (McCain’s Marauders) def. #16- Snott Flemmstein and Dr. Ivan Rectum- Fighting Proctologist (Dr. Bill’s Island of Misfit Wrestlers)
-in a squash. Very quick match.
#8- Grizzly Adam and Hunter the Hunter (SarahPAC) def. #9- Average Joe and American Trucker (Joe SixPacks)
-American Trucker submits to the Bear Trap
#5- ‘Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee and GreenPete (Green World Order) def. #12- New Age Sensitive Guy and Union Jac (Progressive Alliance)
-Lee hits his finisher, The Juicer, on New Age Sensitive Guy.
#13- SNAFU and DVD (Dr. Bill’s Island of Misfit Wrestlers) def #4- Quadruple R and ‘The Corporate Enforcer’ Whiskey Tango Foxtrot (Domination Inc.)
-WTF turns on Quad R. Then Domination Inc. CEO Mr. McMann comes out and fires Quadruple R from the corporation.

Women’s Tournament results:
#1- Kathryn Randall Collins (Domination Inc.) def #16- Soccer Mom (Opal’s Flock)
-KRC with the quick win courtesy of the Personal Political Destructor
#8- ‘Trailer Park Sweetheart’ Tanya Hardy (White Trash Posse) def #9- Tequila Sheila (Joe SixPacks)
-The White Trash Posse hits Tequila Sheila with batons allowing Hardy to pin her.
#5- Code Pink (Progressive Alliance) def. #12- Nurse Nellie (PCW Clean Up Crew)
-It took just two moves, a missile drop kick and a 5 Star Frog Splash
#4- Mia Margarita (Domination Inc.) def. #13- Gina ‘Gigi’ Ramsey (Manager of Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon)
-Mia wins with the Long Kiss Goodnight and gains a few male fans in the process.

At the end of the show, Mr. McMann fires Quadruple R and then issues a veiled threat to the rest of Domination Inc. about their ‘commitment issues.’

BREAKING NEWS- QUADRUPLE R/DOMINATION INC. SPLIT
An ugly incident took place yesterday prior to night two of PCW’s two night stand at Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon.

Domination Inc. Suite
Quadruple R charges into Mr. McMann’s office. ‘Corporate Enforcer’ Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, former PCW Women’s Champion Kathryn Randall Collins, Daisy Cutter-Bomb, and Rough Justice are also there. Quad R: “YOU!” He lunges at McMann. WTF grabs him and starts for the door. McMann: “Hold on. Let him have his exit interview.” WTF sets him down. Quad R: “I WANT TO KNOW WHAT THE #$## THAT WAS ALL ABOUT LAST NIGHT!” Mr. McMann: “Your inability to act as a team player. We gave you chance after chance to win the PCW Title. You wanted to do it on your own and I granted your request. And at the precise moment where the title was there to be won, you lost your composure and took out the referee. You are a liability that I no longer can afford to keep.” Quad R: “YOU PROMISED ME THE PCW TITLE! AND ALL YOU DID WAS HOLD ME BACK.” McMann: “I see. So that’s why you told someone in authority that I had four hired hands coming in at PCW Weapons of Mass Political Destruction.” Quad R: “What are you talking about?” McMann: “Don’t insult my intelligence. You’re the mole. You sold out Domination Inc. in order to get your preference. You told someone about the hired hands. You betrayed everything we’ve been working for.” Quad R: “LIKE HELL I DID!” McMann: “Really, now? Who else would have done it? Whiskey Tango Foxtrot? Rough Justice? No. You had the motive. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have plans to finalize for-” Quad R leaps over the desk and drives McMann and his chair backwards. WTF immediately races around the table and grabs Quad R by the neck and yanks him off Mr. McMann. McMann: “GET HIM OUT OF HERE!” WTF drags Quad R towards the exit. Quad R kicks him in the balls and lunges again towards McMann. Enraged, WTF again clutches Quad R’s neck and pulls him back. He puts him in the powerbomb position and turns him towards a glass table. KRC comes over. KRC: “WHISKEY! NO!” WTF stops. McMann climbs over the table and hits Quad R in the chest. WTF lets go and Quad R goes through the glass table.

UPDATE
Per PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein, Quad R is in the hospital with major lacerations and some internal injuries. He is out indefinitely. Kathryn Randall Collins was very upset with what happened and left Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon right away to go to the hospital. Today, Mr. McMann and CFO Gordon Guyko met with KRC to try to smooth things over. No word yet on how the meeting with.

RESULTS FROM 3/18- NIGHT #2 OF THE FIRST ROUND OF PCW’S EXTREME MARCH MAYHEM:

Tag Team Tournament:
#11- Dixie Chucks: Chuck-mily and Chuck-atalie (Progressive Alliance) def #6- Politically Incorrect: Nic Koteen and Al Cahall (Joe SixPacks)
- The Dixie Chucks make their return to PCW with an upset win over Politically Correct
#3- Jack Schett and Bull Schett (Progressive Alliance) def. #14- Guys With Unfortunate First Names Given Their Last Names: Richard Headd and Michael Hunt (Dr. Bill’s Island of Misfit Wrestlers)
-Bull Schett lays the Schett Brick on Michael Hunt for the win.
#7- Newt Tron Bomb and Incendiary Bomb (McCain’s Marauders) def #10- Raving Rednecks Locke and Loade (Joe SixPacks)
-I-Bomb’s finisher Blunt Force Trauma leaves Gary Locke in a heap.
#15- The Flyin’ Martini Brothers (Independent) def #2- Rough Justice: D.B. Ruff and Connor Justice (Domination Inc.).
-The surprise of the night. No one expected the Martini’s to be there and they get a little revenge on Domination Inc. by taking out their Corporate Security in Rough Justice.

Women’s Tournament:
#6- Daisy Cutter-Bomb (Domination Inc.) def. #11- Peta from PETA (Green World Order)
-Even though Daisy was distracted with the dramatic events that took place earlier in the evening, she made quick work of Peta. Win with the Daisy Cutter-Power Bomb.
#14- Dr. Annabel Lecktor aka ‘Annabel the Cannibal’ def. #3- Emily List (Progressive Alliance)
-The second big surprise of the night. List was clearly unnerved and Lecktor gets the pin.
#7- ‘The Queen of All Media’ Opal Winfree (Progressive Alliance) def. #10- ‘The Princess of Political Incorrectness’ Andrea Doria (Politically Incorrect)
- Another returning PCW wrestler. Winfree easily overcomes the inexperienced Andrea Doria.
#2- Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen (SarahPac) def. #15- Towel Guy (PCW Ring Crew)
- Towel Guy was wiping down the ropes when the announcement was made that he was Kalee Jones’ opponent. After two minutes of running around the ring like a headless chicken, Kalee gives him the Eskimo Pieface and puts him out of his misery.

PCW RANKINGS:

PCW WORLD CHAMPION: ‘The New Rookie Sensation’ O’Beck Bahama (Progressive Alliance)
CONTENDERS:
#1- ‘The Angry Highway Warrior’ Quadruple R (Domination, Inc.)
#2- Kevin Scott (Joe SixPacks)
#3- A. Tom Bomb (McCain’s Marauders)

PCW WOMEN’S CHAMPION: ‘PCW Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin (Joe SixPacks)
CONTENDERS:
#1- Kathryn Randall Collins (Domination Inc.)
#2- Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen (SarahPac)
#3- Emily List (Progressive Alliance)

PCW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit (Domination, Inc.)
CONTENDERS:
#1- A. Tom Bomb and Hy Drogen Bomb (McCain’s Marauders)
#2- Schett Brothers- Jack Schett and Bull Schett (Progressive Alliance)
#3- Rough Justice: D.B. Ruff and Connor Justice (Domination Inc.)

PCW TELEVISION CHAMPION: ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido (Progressive Alliance)
CONTENDERS:
#1- Dave the Mechanic (Joe SixPacks)
#2- SNAFU (Dr. Bill’s Island of Misfit Wrestlers)
#3- Newt Tron Bomb (McCain’s Marauders)

UPCOMING SCHEDULE OF EVENTS:
3/23- PCW Newsline
3/24- PCW Extreme Political TV- Quarterfinals of the tag team and women’s tournament
3/26- PCW Newsline
3/29- PCW Special on P-SPAN- Semi Finals of the tag team and women’s tournament
3/30- PCW Newsline
3/31- PCW Extreme Political TV- Championships of the tag team and women’s tournament
4/2- PCW Newsline
4/6- PCW Newsline
4/8- PCW Extreme Political TV
----------------------------------------
LINKS:
Buckland County Gazette

Political Championship Wrestling at Blogspot

Political Championship Wrestling at Wordpress

American Heartland Bar and Grill

Prairie Depot Press at Blogspot

Screw the BCS at Blogspot

Exploding Sheep Productions

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

3/17-PCW Extreme Political TV- part two: Another Bad Night for Domination Inc.

Suave: “Let’s take a look at how things have turned for Domination Inc. since PCW Weapons of Mass Political Destruction.”

*

REPLAY FROM 3/8-PCW WEAPONS OF MASS POLITICAL DESTRUCTION

O’BECK BAHAMA © (Progressive Alliance) vs. QUADRUPLE R (Domination Inc.) for the PCW Title

…Quad R rocks Bahama with uppercuts and then strangles him with the tag rope. Bahama hulks up and powers out. Quad R hits another Ricolabomb. ONE, TWO, THRE-NO! Quad R gives the first indication of frustration as he glares at the ref. He pulls Bahama up again and Quadrupleplexs the champ. Cover. 1…2…NO! Again, Bahama kicks out. Irish whip by Quad R. Suave: “SLEEPER! QUAD R HAS A SLEEPER LOCKED IN!” Quad R has Bahama dead center in the ring. Suave: “HE’S STARTING TO FADE. QUAD R IS HANGING ON FOR DEAR LIFE. HE MAY BE MERE SECONDS AWAY FROM BECOMING THE PCW CHAMPION!” Bahama stumbles a step forward and falls to one knee. Then he topples forward. Suave: “THAT’S IT! NO! BAHAMA HAS HIS HAND ON THE ROPES! BUT QUAD R THINKS HE’S WON!” The ref breaks the hold and Quad R starts celebrating in the ring. He goes for the belt. Suave: “THE REF JUST TOLD HIM THAT BAHAMA MADE THE ROPES! QUAD R CAN’T BELIEVE IT!” Quad R gets in the ref’s face and starts arguing with him- giving Bahama invaluable time to recover. Mr. McMann screams at Quad R to cover him. Quad R pushes the ref and goes out to get a chair.

Suave: “MR. McMANN CAN’T BELIEVE IT! ALL QUAD R HAS TO DO IS PULLS BAHAMA OUT OF THE ROPES AND HE’D WIN THE MATCH!” McMann continues to yell at Quad R to cover Bahama. Quad R back in the ring with a chair. *CLANG* He takes out the ref. McMann can’t believe it. Bahama slowly regains his faculties…

*

Suave: “Domination Inc. was this close to achieving their goal of total domination of PCW. But their hostile takeover fell short at PCW Weapons of Mass Political Destruction. Soon, it would get worse.”

*

REPLAY OF 3/9 BUFFALO, NY HOUSE MATCH FOR THE PCW WOMEN’S TITLE FROM THE BURT FLICKINGER CENTER IN BUFFALO, NY:
‘PCW Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ TESSA MARTIN (Joe SixPacks) vs. KATHRYN RANDALL COLLINS © (Domination Inc.)
The bell rings. KRC is slow to turn around. Tessa races across the ring with her pizza box and blasts KRC in the head with it. KRC staggers. PIZZA CUTTER! PIZZA CUTTER! Tessa covers. 1…2…3…and we have a new PCW Women’s Champion.

*

Suave: “And then this…on PCW Extreme Political TV the next night.

*

REPLAY FROM 3/10-PCW EXTREME POLITICAL TV:

PCW TELEVISION TITLE CAGE MATCH
‘No Frills’ CHRIS
ESCONDIDO (Progressive Alliance) vs. ‘The Little Sports Entertainment Genius’ SEANY McMANN © (Domination Inc)

The bell rings. Seany runs for his life. Escondido stalks him. Seany slides under the ropes and runs around the ring apron. Escondido waits and measures him. Finally, dropkick by Escondido ricochets Seany’s face off the cage. Escondido flips Seany over the top rope back into the ring. He drags Seany across the ring and flings him into the cage. Suave: “HE’S BUSTED OPEN!” Seany twirls and staggers. Escondido drags him the other and whips him into the cage. Then again, across the ring and Seany’s face mashes into the cage. And then the other way. Suave: “SEANY’S FACE IS A FREAKIN’ MESS. HE DOESN’T KNOW WHERE HE’S AT.”

Bulldog by
Escondido. Suave: “ANKLE LOCK! ANKLE LOCK! THAT’S IT! ‘NO FRILLS’ CHRIS ESCONDIDO WINS BACK THE PCW TELEVISION TITLE!”

Suave: “So. After this and the huge blow up over the weekend, can Domination Inc. pull it back together? We’re going to find out shortly.”

MATCH #2: EXTREME MARCH MAYHEM WOMEN’S FIRST ROUND MATCH

#15 SOCCER MOM of Opal’s Flock (Progressive Alliance) vs.

#2 KATHRYN RANDALL COLLINS w/Domination Inc. (Domination Inc.)

Suave: “KRC looks pissed.” KRC overpowers Soccer Mom to start and pastes her in the corner. KRC whips Soccer Mom to the other corner. Soccer Mom cries out ‘IT’S FOR THE CHILDREN!’ and tries a charge but KRC kills her with a clothesline. She applies a sleeper and spins Soccer Mom around with the sleeper. She drops her and then sets her up for her finisher. Soccer Mom goes up and comes right back down with KRC’s Personal Political Destructor. Cover. 1…2…3.

*

WINNER: #2 KATHRYN RANDALL COLLINS

Suave: “KRC looks dominant as Soccer Mom couldn’t do much of anything. Earlier in the night, it was A-Bomb and H-Bomb (McCain’s Marauders), the #1 seed in the tag team tournament, taking on Snott Flemmstein and Dr. Ivan Rectum (Dr. Bill’s Island of Misfit Wrestlers).

*

REPLAY FROM EARLIER TONIGHT: FIRST ROUND OF EXTREME MARCH MAYHEM TAG TEAM TOURNAMENT

#16- Snott Flemmstein and Dr. Ivan Rectum- Fighting Proctologist (Dr. Bill’s Island of Misfit Wrestlers) vs. #1- A. Tom Bomb and Hy Drogen Bomb (McCain’s Marauders)

…A-Bomb evades the stream of green snot shot out from Flemmstein’s oversized prosthetic nose and clotheslines him. Atomic Power Bomb. Cover. 1…2…3.

*

WINNER: #1 A. TOM BOMB and HY DROGEN BOMB

*

Suave: “That was too easy. I suspect Grizzly Adam and Hunter the Hunter will put up more competition in their second round match.”

*

MATCH #3: EXTREME MARCH MAYHEM WOMEN’S FIRST ROUND MATCH

#9 TEQUILA SHEILA (Joe SixPacks) vs.

#8 ‘Trailer Park Sweetheart’ TANYA HARDY w/the White Trash Posse (White Trash Posse)

Suave: “Tequila Sheila may still be woozy from the hockey stick shot she took earlier in the night from ‘The Alaskan Pitbull’ Sarah Palin.” Hardy starts with a boot to the gut. She throws Tequila Sheila into the corner and hits some shoulders. Snap mare and kick by Hardy followed by a basement dropkick. Hardy covers. 1…Sheila easily kicks out. Hardy drops an elbow but gets nothing but mat. Forearms by Tequila Sheila. Scoop slam. Wheelbarrow splash. She covers. 1… Hardy gets the shoulder up. Double axe handle to the arm. Tequila Sheila cinches up an armbar. Hardy fights out of it with a forearm and a whip into the knee of one of the White Trash Posse. Hardy follows with a clothesline. Stomps by Hardy and then a whip gets reversed. Sheila tries a tilt a whirl but Hardy turns it into a crossbody. Cover by Hardy. 1…2…no. Hardy slaps on the Octopus. Tequila Sheila escapes and then kicks Hardy in the jaw. Sheila charges but Hardy avoids the contact and hits a sitout spinebuster. Hardy goes up top, high crossbody to Sheila. 1…2…she barely kicks out. Hardy whips Sheila in the corner. *WHAP* Suave: “THE WHITE TRASH POSSE JUST CLUBBED TEQUILA SHEILA IN THE KNEE WITH THEIR BATONS!” Sheila can’t move. Evenflow DDT by Hardy. Cover. 1…2…3.

*

WINNER: #8 ‘Trailer Park Sweetheart’ TANYA HARDY

*

Suave: “Tanya Hardy gets a hand…or more like a baton…from the White Trash Posse and she advances on to the second round to meet KRC.”

*

PCW NEWSLINE

*

UPCOMING SCHEDULE OF EVENTS:
3/19- PCW Newsline with results from night two of the first round of the Extreme March Mayhem Tag Team and Women’s Tournament
3/23- PCW Newsline
3/24- PCW Extreme Political TV- Quarterfinals of the tag team and women’s tournament
3/26- PCW Newsline
3/29- PCW Special on P-SPAN- Semi Finals of the tag team and women’s tournament
3/30- PCW Newsline
3/31- PCW Extreme Political TV- Championships of the tag team and women’s tournament

*

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PCW!

Suave: “That’s right. Four years ago, PCW…then BCEW-Buckland County Extreme Wrestling…held its first ever pay per view, BCEW Loose Cannons Unleashed.” A huge birthday cake is brought out and PCW Owner Bubba Jackson blows out the candle. The Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon crowd sings ‘Happy Birthday.’ Suave: “Hell. All we need now is Gina Ramsey jumping out of the cake. However, she was taken to Buckland County Hospital after her match earlier tonight against Mia Margarita.”

*

REPLAY: EXTREME MARCH MAYHEM WOMEN’S FIRST ROUND MATCH

#13- Gina ‘Gigi’ Ramsey (Manager of Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon) vs. #4- Mia Margarita (Domination Inc.)

Mia goes right away for the Long Kiss Goodnight. But Gina is ready- she’s wearing a protective covering over her lips. So Mia tries a different angle. Since the neuro-paralyzing drug is transmitted skin to skin. She kisses Gina on her neck, shoulder, legs, anywhere possible to slow her down. Finally, Mia puts her in a full nelson and kisses the back of her neck. Gina’s strength quickly goes away and her legs give out. Mia turns her over and covers. 1…2…3.

*

WINNER: MIA MARGARITA

*

Suave: “This just took place a few minutes ago.”

*

DOMINATION INC. SUITE

Quadruple R talks with Mr. McMann. McMann: “You get your way. There will be no interference in your match. You get to show us all just how good you are.” Quad R: “Good.”

*

MATCH #4: EXTREME MARCH MAYHEM TAG TEAM FIRST ROUND MATCH

#13 SNAFU and DVD (Dr. Bill’s Island of Misfit Wrestlers) vs.

#4 QUADRUPLE R and the ‘Corporate Enforcer’ WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT w/Domination Inc. (Domination Inc.)

Quad R and SNAFU to start. They start off with Quad R’s typical posturing. Quad R gains the first meaningful control with a go-behind and forearms. SNAFU slingshots off the ropes and tries a high crossbody. Whip by SNAFU and then charges into Quad R's foot. Quad R with a blatant choke in the corner. DVD tries to help but his missile dropkick misses by a mile. SNAFU comes back with kicks to the knee. Quad R comes off the ropes but SNAFU stops him and throws him to the outside. SNAFU sets a chair up. Slingshots off the ropes and hits the triple jump. Crowd: “PCW!...PCW!...PCW!” *CLANG* Steel chairshot to Quad R by SNAFU. Tilt-a-wheel slam. Quad R is a bit of trouble. DVD again climbs the top rope. Five star splash misses and DVD nearly breaks in half over the guardrail. Quad with the gut shot and retakes control. European uppercut and a whip into the guardrail. SNAFU backdrops Quad R up and over the guardrail. SNAFU back in the ring and sets another chair up. Off the ropes, jump from the chair to the top rope. SNAFU DIVES INTO THE CROWD AND NAILS QUAD R! Crowd: “HOLY S##$! HOLY S###!” SNAFU thows Quad R back over the railing. Quad R rakes the eyes and staggers away. He makes the ring and stumbles over to his corner. Quad R tries to tag Whiskey Tango Foxtrot in- except WTF won’t tag him. Quad R again tries to tag out- again, WTF refuses. Roll up from behind by SNAFU. 1…2…No. Quad R kicks out. DVD somehow pulls himself up to the top rope yet again. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot goes over and lifts DVD off the top. He throws DVD into the ring at Quad R. DVD catches Quad R flush and he spins one and falls to the canvas. SNAFU follows up with the Arabian Facebuster. Cover. 1…2…3.

*

WINNER: SNAFU and DVD

*

Suave: “The first real upset of the tournament! HOLD ON! HERE COMES MR. McMANN!” McMann climbs in the ring and stares down at Quad R. McMann: “Quad R. We gave you chance after chance after chance. You had one job…one task to complete- winning the PCW Title! And you failed. And worse, you gave out sensitive corporate information in order to further your own career.” McMann kicks at Quad R. McMann: “Quad R, I have just two words for you- you’re fired.” Suave: “HOLY CRAP! I DON’T BELIEVE IT! DOMINATION INC. CEO MR. McMANN JUST FIRED QUADRUPLE R!” McMann: “Whiskey Tango Foxtrot. Will you please remove this garbage from the ring?” Whiskey Tango Foxtrot picks up Quad R. He goes to the ropes and Awesome Bombs Quad R through a ringside table. McMann: “And to those members of Domination Inc. who’ve suffered from commitment issues over the past week. Take a look at Quadruple R in the wreckage of the table. This could be you.”

*

Suave: “WHOA! AND A VEILED SHOT AT HIS OWN CORPORATION! WHERE IS THIS HEADING NOW? HALF OF ROUND ONE OF THE PCW EXTREME MARCH MAYHEM TAG TEAM AND WOMEN’S TOURNAMENT IS IN THE BOOKS. WE’LL SEE YOU NEXT WEEK WITH THE QUARTERFINALS!!”