Friday, April 17, 2009

Domination Inc. Press Release, Pelosi Calls American Heartland Coalition 'Extremists'

Hey y'all. Gina Ramsey here with another PCW Newsline.
It's been another eventful week here at Political Championship Wrestling. Domination Inc. sent out a press release yesterday in the aftermath of Wednesday night's show. We also have comments made by Nancy Pelosi about the newly formed American Heartland Coaltion and a whole lot more so let's get down to business.
Domination Inc. announces the hiring of five new wrestlers to its stable: Cadillac, Jaguar, Big Monster Whalie, Mercedes, and Porsche Lexus. All five wrestlers debuted last Sunday night during the PCW on P-SPAN show and already have made a huge difference in reestablishing Domination Inc. as the ultimate corporate force in PCW.
Domination Inc. CEO 'THE Sports Entertainment Genius' Mr. McMann commented: "The addition of Big Monster Whalie aka BMW, Cadillac, Jaguar, Mercedes, and Porsche Lexus will jump start our efforts to takeover Political Championship Wrestling and remake it in my image. We have already shown that the PCW Champion O'Beck Bahama is no match for our Big Monster and I'm very confident that the PCW Title will shortly be in the Domination Inc. stable. Cadillac and Jaguar are capable wrestler who will help Domination Inc. with our bottom line. Mercedes and Porsche Lexus will allow Domination Inc. to reenter the PCW Women's title chase and bring the title back to us."
CFO Gordon Guyko adds: "This move will maneuver Domination Inc. back to the top of PCW and is money well spent. Our goals are simple: Domination Inc. will control all four PCW title belts by PCW Loose Cannons Unleashed 5 on June 7th. With the addition of BMW, Cadillac, Jaguar, Mercedes, and Porsche Lexus to Domination Inc., I am quite confident we will hit our target objective.
Domination Inc. also announces the formal releases of Daisy Cutter-Bomb, and Mia Margarita. Mr. McMann says: "Unfortunately, both women were not performing up to standard in reaching our corporate objectives. We wish them well in their future endeavors."
About Domination Inc.: Domination Inc. is a consortium of wrestlers dedicated to making the group the elite in Political Championship Wrestling. Our mission statement is simple: Domination Inc. will facilitate the takeover of PCW by any and all means available to us.
After PCW Women's Champion 'Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl' Tessa Martin and the newly minted American Heartland Coalition disrupted Nancy Pelosi's grand plan to punish Blue Dog D and RINO-Republican in Name Only for locking the Angry Left Wing Bloggers in a room and make them listen to music from Barney the Dinosaur, Pelosi had this to say about the group's effort: “This initiative is funded by the high end; we call it AstroTurf, it's not really a grass-roots movement. It's AstroTurf by some of the wealthiest people in America to keep the focus on tax cuts for the rich instead of for the great middle class."
When asked to expound on her comments: Pelosi's lieutenants passed out a document that stated that the American Heartland Coalition wasn't 'all about average citizens.' The document goes on to accuse the AHC of harboring extremist elements such as sucessionists and racists, pointing out the 'Raving Rednecks' Locke and Loade as one example.
For her part, Tessa Martin would not dignify Ms. Pelosi's remark with a response. Martin's only statement was that she would respond in kind in the ring Sunday night on PCW on P-SPAN.
4/15-PCW Extreme Political TV Results:
-The Angry Left Wing Bloggers (Daily Kos, Media Matters, Eric Alterman, Jane Hamsher w/Keith Olbermann, 'Hardball' Chris Matthews, Arianna Huffington, Rachel Maddow, and Ed Shultz vs. RINO-Republican in Name Only and Blue Dog D match went to no decision when 'Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl' Tessa Martin and the American Heartland Coalition intervened.
-Domination Inc. CFO Gordon Guyko throws a fit in the Domination Inc. Suite when he finds out about the five new wrestlers 'Sports Entertainment Genius' Mr. McMann has brought in. He tells McMann that he has to let go two wrestlers and that if this doesn't work, 'we're cooked.'
-Jack Schett and Bull Schett (Progressive Alliance) easily dispatch the team of Jimmy from So Cal and Dread Pirate Douggie (The Island of Misfit Wrestlers) with the 'Schett-brick.'
-Al Franken (Progressive Alliance) comes out and calls out Norm Coleman (American Patriots). Franken tells him that he should drop his appeals of the result from 12/18 PCW Completely Deranged. Coleman tells Franken he's taking this all the way to the top. Both men then brawl.
-PCW TV Champion 'No Frills' Chris Escondido def. Tax Guy H.R. Block. Post match, Escondido is attacked by Domination Inc. Mercedes and Porsche Lexus turn on Daisy Cutter-Bomb and Mia Margarita and unceremoniously kick them out of Domination Inc.
Joe SixPacks have been renamed the American Heartland Coalition.
McCain's Marauders have been absorbed back into the American Patriots.
4/19- PCW on P-SPAN
4/22- PCW Extreme Political TV
4/24- PCW Newsline
4/26- PCW on P-SPAN
4/29- PCW Extreme Political TV
5/1- PCW Newsline
5/3- PCW on P-SPAN
5/6- PCW Extreme Political TV
5/8- PCW Newsline

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