HOSTS: Johnny Suave and his life size cardboard cut-out of Shania Twain
Crowd chants 'PCW!...PCW!' Suave: "HELLO AND WELCOME TO P-C-W!" Suave pauses for the roar of the crowd. Suave: "I AM JOHNNY SUAVE! THIS HOT PIECE OF CARDBOARD IS SHANIA TWAIN. WELCOME TO ANOTHER EDITION OF PCW EXTREME POLITICAL TV! BEFORE WE GET TO TONIGHT'S MATCHES, LET'S REVIEW WHAT HAPPENED SUNDAY NIGHT ON PCW ON P-SPAN..."
4/12-PCW on P-SPAN Results
-Halitosis- The Luchador with the Insanely Foul Breath def. Little Paulie of the American Bikers in a battle of Independents
-Al Franken (Progressive Alliance) and Norm Coleman (American Patriots) brawled again
-Outside interference on the part of the Right Wing Brigadiers who were upset about being left out of the match and Lou Dobbs and Tucker Carlson caused the Angry Left Wing Bloggers/RINO- Republican in Name Only and Blue Dog D to go to a no-decision.
-Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen and newcomer 'Texas Cowgirl' Haley Dallas (SarahPAC) def. Emily List and Code Pink (Progressive Alliance)
-The Schett Brothers cut a promo and promise to regain the PCW Tag Team belts soon.
-PCW Champion O'Beck Bahama (Progressive Alliance) def. Dread Pirate Douggie (Dr. Bill's Island of Misfit Wrestlers). Bahama got laid out after the match by Big Monster Wahlie, Cadillac and Jaguar, and Mercedes and Porsche Lexus- all five newcomers to the Domination Inc. stable. 'Sports Entertainment Genius' Mr. McMann then said:
McMann: "I made the mistake of thinking small. Now, I'm thinking much bigger. Power. Strength. And overwhelming force. You probably thought that after PCW Weapons of Mass Political Destruction that our hostile takeover of Political Championship Wrestling was dead. I can assure you that we've only just begun."
Suave: "We're about ready and-" Female: "WAIT A MINUTE! WAAAAAIT A MINUTE!" Suave: "Hold on. That's Nancy Pelosi and she's headed for the ring!" Pelosi walks quickly and climbs in the ring. Pelosi: "WAIT A MINUTE! We've got some unfinished business from Sunday night. If you remember, I decreed that because of RINO and Blue Dog D's actions in trapping the Angry Left Wing Bloggers in a room and making them listen to Barney songs all night, that they would face them in a tag team handicap match- four against two. I did not authorize the Right Wing Brigadiers to interfere in the match. And I certainly did not authorize Lou Dobbs and Tucker Carlson to come to RINO and Blue Dog D's aid. So here's how it's going down tonight. It's another handicap tag team match between the Angry Left Wing Bloggers and RINO and Blue Dog D. If anyone from the Right Wing Brigadiers interferes in the match, they'll be suspended from PCW. If Lou Dobbs and Tucker Carlson interferes in the match, they'll be suspended from PCW, too." Crowd: "BULL-####!...BULL-####!" Pelosi: "I'm doing this because I can. We control PCW now. Deal with it."
Suave: "Okay. She's doing this because she can and I'm dealing with it. The Angry Left Wing Bloggers versus RINO- Republican in name only and Blue Dog D."MATCH #1
ANGRY LEFT WING BLOGGERS Daily Kos, Media Matters for America, Eric Alterman, and Jane Hamsher (Progressive Alliance) vs.
BLUE DOG D (Progressive Alliance) and RINO- Republican in Name Only (American Patriots)
Suave: "There's the bell and...WAIT A MINUTE! HERE COMES KEITH OLBERMANN, 'HARDBALL' CHRIS MATTHEWS, RACHEL MADDOW, ARIANNA HUFFINGTON, AND ED SHULTZ!" Olbermann, Matthews, Maddow, and Shultz hit the ring and join in the mugging. Pelosi nods her approval. Suave: "IT'S EIGHT ON TWO AND THERE'S NOTHING BLUE DOG D AND RINO CAN DO!" Daily Kos slides from the ring and pulls out two tables. He throws them into the ring and Media Matters sets them up. Suave: "THEY'RE GOING TO PUT THEM THROUGHT THE TABLES! MATTHEWS DRAPES RINO ACROSS THE TABLE. OLBERMANN THROWS BLUE DOG D ON THE OTHER." The crowd noise suddenly increases. Suave: "WAIT A SEC...IT'S JOE SIXPACK!" PCW Women's Champion 'Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl' Tessa Martin leads the Joe SixPacks group out.
Suave: "AMERICAN TRUCKER. AVERAGE JOE. THE RAVING REDNECK'S LOCKE AND LOADE! DAVE THE MECHANIC! TEQUILA SHEILA! THEY'RE ALL TAKING IT TO THE LEFT WING BLOGGERS!" Tessa takes Jane Hamsher out with a Pizza Box (with road sign inside) shot to the head. Suave: "TESSA HAS ARIANNA AND RACHEL MADDOW! *BONK* SHE JUST SLAMMED THEIR HEADS TOGETHER. PIZZA CUTTER ON ARIANNA! PIZZA CUTTER ON MADDOW! THE RAVING REDNECKS HAVE OLBERMANN SET...4-D REDNECK DEATH BLAST! NOW HERE'S DAVE THE MECHANIC...HE DROP KICKS CHRIS MATTHEWS OVER THE TOP ROPE! WOW!" The other Angry Left Wing Bloggers slide out of the ring. Suave: "PELOSI IS PISSED AND SHE'S POINTING AT JOE SIXPACKS!"
WINNER: NO MATCH
Tessa: "Hey, Nancy. On behalf of the American Heartland Coalition, I'd like to say a few words. You come out here and act as if you're all powerful. The last time I checked, PCW's Owner, Bubba Jackson, chose Barack Obama to the PCW CEO- not you." The crowd cheers. Pelosi glares at the 'Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl'. Tessa: "Under your watch, Domination Inc. has been allowed to run wild over PCW. While you're busy trying to appease your power base, we're the ones out here who've been assaulted and injured by a huge corporate group that only cares about one thing- control. I think that the PCW Competition Committee would benefit greatly if one of the members came from...well?...how about the American Heartland Coalition?" Suave: "So now! Joe SixPacks is now the American Heartland Coalition. And Nancy Pelosi doesn't like what's happened here one bit."
DOMINATION INC. SUITE
Domination Inc. CEO 'Sports Entertainment Genius' Mr. McMann and CFO Gordon Guyko meet in Gordon's office. Guyko: "I'm going to make this clear. I can't believe you went out and spent what little capital we had left on FIVE NEW WRESTLERS! We only lost TWO! What are you thinking? And what are our backers going to say when they find out?" McMann: "Gordon, relax. This is just a mid-course correction. The other PCW defectors didn't work out. We needed new blood and I felt it was necessary to bring in outside talent who fit our profile." Guyko: "You had better be right or else we're cooked." McMann: "Gordon, we're on track. Sunday night, we made a statement. Tonight, we're going to do the same." Guyko: "Fine. However, the bottom line here is that you need to cut two wrestlers before the end of tonight's show." McMann: "Two?" Guyko: "Two. We can't function with an inflated payroll. Cut the dead wood tonight. And I want to see all four PCW titles on our mantle by June 7th- the PCW Loose Cannons Unleashed 5 event. Do we have an understanding?" McMann: "Yes, we do."
JACK SCHETT and BULL SCHETT w/Horst Schett and Hans Gruber- the Extreme German Schnauzer (Progressive Alliance) vs.
JIMMY FROM SO CAL and DREAD PIRATE DOUGGIE (The Island of Misfit Wrestlers)
Suave: "Jack and Bull Schett continue their quest to regain the PCW Tag Team Titles. Jack Schett and Jimmy from So-Cal to start. There's the bell and they lock up. Test of strength. No brainer there. Jack is too overpowering for Jimmy from So Cal. Neckbreaker by Jack Schett. Irish whip into the ropes. Nasty lariat by Jack and Jimmy from So Cal hit the canvas hard. Leg drop. Jack lifts him up...GUTBUSTER...INTO A STO! The referee checks on Jimmy...and Jimmy slips out of the hold. Jimmy tags in Dread Pirate Douggie." Jack tags in Bull.
Suave: "Bull and Douggie circle the ring. Douggie charges. OOH. Kneelift by Bull catches him coming in. Belly to belly suplex on the wayyy...yes! Beautiful execution by Bull Schett. He's got him up again...BRAINBUSTER! HERE WE GO! JACK HANDS BULL A BRICK AND HE PUTS IT IN THE BACK OF HIS TRUNKS! BULL CLIMBS TO THE TOP ROPE. YES! SCHETT-BRICK! SCHETT-BRICK! COVER. ONE. TWO. THREE.
WINNER: JACK SCHETT and BULL SCHETT
Suave: "The Schetts continue to claw their way back up to the top of the PCW Tag Team rankings. More PCW Extreme Political TV, after this..."
For all the scoop on Political Championship Wrestling and other great e-wrestling federations out there on the internet, check out The E-Wrestling Magazine. Ben Halkum does a great job of highlighting various e-wrestling federations and E-Wrestling Magazine is one of the most interactives sites you will find.
Also check out the Titan Zone as well.
The road to No Recovery continued last week as BWE Promotion's Asian Invasion Tour hit the Pynk Candy Arena in Kuching, Malaysia! For the first time ever, BWE Heavyweight Champion Mo Morrissey teamed up with No. 1 contender Mojomike to take on The Sporting Blog members Chris Littman & Spencer Hall! Philly The Kid debuted and got his wish of facing The Blog Stalker in a DND match! Plus, two Money in the Blog qualifying matches and much, much more!
Check out our good friend David Funk and BWE Throwdown! - April 7, 2009 at Basic Blogonomics.com.
Suave: "Well, Al Franken's in the ring and has something to say. If you've been following the whole Franken-Norm Coleman situation, they were together to accept an award last week for the best feud in PCW for 2008. As if on cue, Franken and Coleman scuffled at the dias and the feud seems to have fired back up. Let's see what Al has to say." Franken: "Okay. This week, Norm Coleman's umpteenth appeal of the decision made by the full PCW Competition Committee to award me, Al Franken, the win of our December 18th match at PCW Competely Deranged was turned down again. Let's see the tape of what happened and what really happened..."
REPLAY FROM 12/18 PCW COMPLETELY DERANGED: ENDING OF AL FRANKEN/NORM COLEMAN MATCH
Franken crawls back into the ring. Suave: “Franken can’t even stand up.” Coleman also crawls back to the ring. Franken reaches the ladder. Coleman crawls into the ring. Suave: “Franken’s going up. But Coleman is right behind him.” Franken’s about two rungs ahead of Coleman as both climb up opposite sides of the ladder. Franken reaches the top rung first. Coleman’s close enough to where he can start swinging at Franken. Both men try to push each other off the ladder. Franken stands and grabs for the briefcase. Coleman stands and he tries to reach the briefcase. Both latch on to the briefcase at the same time. The ladder suddenly becomes unbalanced. Both Franken and Coleman try to push the other off. Both grab at the briefcase. Lamb: “Isn’t it dangerous for two men to climb up a ladder to try to grab an object suspended in the air?” Suave: “Yes. That’s why you don’t see many ladder- HOLY CRAP! THE LADDER’S FALLING…RIGHT FOR US! BRIAN GET OUT OF THE WAY!” Lamb: “Huh? What?”
Crowd: “HOLY ****!...HOLY ****!...HOLY ****!...“HOLY ****!...HOLY ****!...HOLY ****!...HOLY…PCW!...PCW!...PCW!...PCW!...PCW!...” Suave: “Am I on…hello…okay…THE LADDER TIPPED OVER. FRANKEN AND COLEMAN FOUGHT FOR POSSESSION OF THE BRIEFCASE AS THE LADDER FELL. THE BAD NEWS- THEY JUST DESTROYED THE ANNOUNCER’S TABLE. THE GOOD NEWS- SOMETHING SOFT BROKE THEIR FALL. THE BAD NEWS- BRIAN LAMB OF P-SPAN WAS THE SOFT THING THAT BROKE THEIR FALL. I DIDN’T SEE WHO HAD WHAT. THE REFEREE IS TRYING TO SORT THIS OUT. THE CROWD IS GOING ABSOLUTELY NUTS!...HUH?...OH…OKAY…THE REFEREE IS GOING TO ANNOUNCE THE WINNER…LET’S GO TO THE RING.” Referee: “Okay. This is what I saw. Norm Coleman had possession-” The crowd explodes. Pro-Coleman and Franken chants erupt. Suave: “COLEMAN HAS BEEN DECLARED THE WINNER! THE REFEREE SAW THAT HE HAD THE BRIEFCASE AND CALLED HIM THE WINNER! FRANKEN IS PISSED. HE IMMEDIATELY CONFRONTS THE REFEREE AND HE’S LIGHTING HIM UP! COLEMAN’S OUT OF HERE. HE TOOK THE BRIEFCASE AND LIMPED OUT OF THE CAGE AS QUICKLY AS HE COULD. WHAT? FRANKEN’S CLAIMING THAT HE HAD THE BRIEFCASE AT THE BOTTOM BUT COLEMAN TOOK IT AWAY WHEN THE REFEREE CAME!"
CELL PHONE CAMERA ACCOUNT
Coleman and Franken battle. They both grab the suitcase. The ladder becomes unstable and starts to fall. Both men wrestle in the air for possession of the briefcase. The ladder falls directly towards PCW Announcer Johnny Suave’s table. Suave and guest color analyst Brian Lamb from P-SPAN see the ladder falling. Suave dives out of the way. Lamb attempts to cushion the fall. The ladder stops at the ropes and both Coleman and Franken go through the table. Franken clearly has possession of the briefcase. The referee slides out of the ring. Coleman snatches the briefcase away…
Franken: "So, the tape clearly shows that I, Al Franken, had the briefcase when we hit the ground and that Norm Coleman took the briefcase away from me, Al Franken, before the referee came around. Norm? I know you're out there somewhere. It's time to give it up. You've lost. I, Al Franken, have won." Norm Coleman slowly walks towards the ring. Suave: "There he is. Norm Coleman. Will he finally give it up? What will he do? Let's find out." Coleman climbs in the ring. Coleman: "Al, this is not pro wrestling fast food. I'm taking this all the way to the top." Franken: "What. You're taking this to PCW Owner Bubba Jackson?" Coleman: "Yes." Franken: "Norm, enough is enough. I, Al Franken, won. You lost." Coleman: "Like hell I will." Coleman lunges at Franken. Suave: "HERE WE GO AGAIN! FRANKEN AND COLEMAN ARE THROWING EVERYTHING BUT THE KITCHEN SINK AT EACH OTHER!" PCW Security Director Dawn McGill charges to the ring to break up the fracas.
4/17- PCW Newsline
4/19- PCW on P-SPAN
4/22- PCW Extreme Political TV
4/24- PCW Newsline
4/26- PCW on P-SPAN
4/29- PCW Extreme Political TV
5/1- PCW Newsline
5/3- PCW on P-SPAN
5/6- PCW Extreme Political TV
5/8- PCW Newsline
H.R. BLOCK (Tax Guy) vs.
PCW Television Champion 'No Frills' CHRIS ESCONDIDO (Progressive Alliance)
Suave: "Oh, yeah. It's tax day as you can hear the 'nice' reception H.R. Block is receiving." The crowd boos him enthusiastically and throw 1040 forms into the ring. The bell sounds. Suave: "Block comes out. Escondido circles him. Block runs in. Drop toe hold. ANKLE LOCK! ANKLE LOCK! ANKLE LOCK! THAT'S IT. BLOCK TAPS OUT...BUT ESCONDIDO'S NOT BREAKING THE HOLD! Apparently, the PCW TV champ had to pay taxes this year instead of getting a refund. HE'S STILL NOT LETTING GO! HOLY CRAP! IT'S DOMINATION INC.! MERCEDES CLOCKS ESCONDIDO FROM BEHIND AND NOW JAGUAR IS KICKING AWAY AT THE TV CHAMP." Boos ring in. Even H.R. Block gets into the act. Suave: "OH COME ON!" More boos. PCW Tag Team Champions Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit join in. Daisy Cutter-Bomb and 'Shot at Scoring with a Slutty Video Channel Reality Star' Mia Margarita also run down with Mercedes and Porsche Lexus. Suave: "THE WHOLE CORPORATION IS DOWN AT THE RING!"
Mercedes and Porsche Lexus look at each other. Then they hit simultaneous DDT's on Daisy Cutter-Bomb and Mia Margarita. Suave: "HOLY CRAP! THEY'VE TURNED ON DAISY CUTTER-BOMB AND MIA!" Mercedes and Porsche stomp away at Daisy and Mia. Mr. McMann comes out with Corporate Enforcer Whiskey Tango Foxtrot and Rough Justice and approves. Suave: "DOMINATION INC. HAS FIRED DAISY CUTTER-BOMB AND MIA MARGARITA! CHRIS ESCONDIDO IS GETTING KILLED BY CADILLAC, JAGUAR, BIG OIL , AND KIRK WALSTREIT. WAIT! IT'S RAHM EMANUEL! F-BOMB ON CADILLAC! F-BOMB ON WALSTREIT! BIG OIL GRABS HIM BY THE THROAT! HE LIFTS HIM UP...CHOKESLAM!" Jaguar and Big Oil swarm all over Emanuel and lay the boots into him. Suave: "CAN DOMINATION INC. BE STOPPED? WE WILL SEE NEXT WEEK."