Tuesday, March 10, 2009

3/10-PCW Extreme Political TV: PCW CEO Barack Obama Makes a Decision and More Post Weapons of Mass Political Destruction Fallout

REPLAY: 3/8 PCW WEAPONS OF MASS POLITICAL DESTRUCTION- THE PCW TITLE: O’BECK BAHAMA w/ ‘Not Just Intolerable, Not Just Unbearable, He is’ Justin Sufferable © (Progressive Alliance) vs. QUADRUPLE R w/Domination Inc. (Domination Inc.)
Suave: “HOLD ON TO YOUR HATS…HERE WE GO.”…

…Bahama up on the ring apron. He goes for a splash. Quad R moves and Bahama hits the barricade hard. Suave: “HOLY CRAP! The champion seems a little sluggish tonight and Quad R is keeping his cool so far- CRADLE PILEDRIVER ON THE FLOOR BY QUADRUPLE R! ONE, TWO, THRE-NO! BAHAMA GOT HIS SHOULDER UP JUST IN TIME.” Bahama desperately goes for a lariat, but again Quad R beats him to it. ONE, TWO, THRE-NO! Again, Bahama gets the shoulder up…

...He pulls Bahama up again and Quadrupleplexs the champ. Cover. 1…2…NO! Again, Bahama kicks out. Irish whip by Quad R. Suave: “SLEEPER! QUAD R HAS A SLEEPER LOCKED IN!” Quad R has Bahama dead center in the ring. Suave: “HE’S STARTING TO FADE. QUAD R IS HANGING ON FOR DEAR LIFE. HE MAY BE MERE SECONDS AWAY FROM BECOMING THE PCW CHAMPION!” Bahama stumbles a step forward and falls to one knee. Then he topples forward. Suave: “THAT’S IT! NO! BAHAMA HAS HIS HAND ON THE ROPES! BUT QUAD R THINKS HE’S WON!” The ref breaks the hold and Quad R starts celebrating in the ring. He goes for the belt. Suave: “THE REF JUST TOLD HIM THAT BAHAMA MADE THE ROPES! QUAD R CAN’T BELIEVE IT!” Quad R gets in the ref’s face and starts arguing with him- giving Bahama invaluable time to recover. Mr. McMann screams at Quad R to cover him. Quad R pushes the ref and goes out to get a chair…

Suave: “MR. McMANN CAN’T BELIEVE IT! ALL QUAD R HAS TO DO IS PULLS BAHAMA OUT OF THE ROPES AND HE’D WIN THE MATCH!” McMann continues to yell at Quad R to cover Bahama. Quad R back in the ring with a chair. *CLANG* He takes out the ref. McMann can’t believe it. Bahama slowly regains his faculties. The crowd suddenly roars. Suave: “IT’S RUSH LIMBAUGH! THE INNOVATOR OF EXTREME BROADCAST EXCELLENCE!” Rush grabs a steel folding chair and potatoes Bahama with it. Suave: “HOLY CRAP!” McMann again screams at Quad R to pin Bahama. He finally pulls Bahama out of the ropes and covers. No referee. Suave: “QUAD R JUST ROYALLY SCREWED HIMSELF! AND HERE COMES JOE SIXPACKS!”

Mia Margarita slips into the ring. Suave: “ALL HELL’S BROKE LOOSE!” Mia locates Bahama and goes over to him. She tries to kiss him but a hand grabs her arm and yanks her back. Suave: “HOLY CRAP! IT’S PCW SECURITY DIRECTOR DAWN McGILL!” The crowd stands. McGill rips off the lip cover and puts it on. Then she plants a kiss on Mia. Suave: “YES! YES! MIA’S GETTING SOME OF HER OWN MEDICINE!” Mia’s arms go limp and her legs become rubbery. McGill lets go and she plops on the canvas. McGill rips the lip cover off and throws it out of the ring. She now goes to the Singapore cane. *CRACK* Down goes Big Oil. *CRACK* Next, Kirk Walstreit. *CRACK* Daisy Cutter-Bomb. Suave: “McGILL IS CLEANING HOUSE!”

Quad R grabs McGill from behind. He sets her for the Scorpion Death Drop. McGill does a back flip out of it and then plants her 4” stilettos in Quad R’s groin. Suave: “HOLY CRAP!” Quad R staggers backwards into Bahama. Bahama quickly puts him in the Bahama Backbreaker. Suave: “HE’S GOT HIM! HE’S GOT HIM! WILL QUAD R TAP OUT? BAHAMA CINCHES IT IN BUT QUAD R REFUSES TO TAP!” A new ref asks Quad R if he wants to give up. Quad R doesn’t answer. Suave: “HE’S PASSED OUT. BAHAMA DUMPS HIM ON THE CANVAS. HE’S STILL THE PCW CHAMPION!”

PCW EXTREME POLITICAL TV: March 10th from the Palace of Poltical Extreme aka…PCW Hall in Eagle Rock, OH
HOSTS: Johnny Suave and his life size cardboard cut-out of Shania Twain


Crowd: “PCW!...PCW!...PCW!...PCW!...PCW!...PCW!...” Suave: “HELLO…AND WELCOME TO P-C-W!” A thunderous cheer follows. Crowd: “PCW!...PCW!...PCW!...” Suave: “I AM JOHNNY SUAVE. THIS HOT PIECE OF CARDBOARD IS SHANIA TWAIN. TWO NIGHTS AGO, O’BECK BAHAMA HELD OFF A STRONG CHALLENGE BY QUADRUPLE R TO HANG ON TO THE PCW TITLE AT PCW WEAPONS OF MASS POLITICAL DESTRUCTION! WE ALSO HAVE BREAKING NEWS FROM LAST NIGHT-”

‘PCW Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin comes out with the rest of the Joe SixPacks group and she has- THE PCW WOMEN’S TITLE BELT! Crowd: “WE’RE NOT WORTHY! (clap, clap clap-clap-clap), WE’RE NOT WORTHY! (clap, clap clap-clap-clap) Suave: “THAT’S RIGHT. LAST NIGHT AT THE BURT FLICKINGER CENTER IN BUFFALO, NY, ‘PCW EXTREME PIZZA DELIVERY GIRL’ TESSA MARTIN DEFEATED KATHRYN RANDALL COLLINS TO BECOME THE NEW PCW WOMEN’S CHAMPION! ORIGINALLY, MIA MARGARITA WAS SUPPOSED TO WRESTLE COLLINS. BUT SHE JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL THIS MORNING FROM HER INJURIES AT PCW WEAPONS OF MASS POLITICAL DESTRUCTION! THE CROWD IS GIVING TESSA A STANDING OVATION AS SHE PARADES AROUND THE RING.”

*Domination Inc’s Mission Statement: Domination Inc. will facilitate the takeover of PCW by any and all means available to us*

Suave: “AND HERE COMES AN OBVIOUSLY UNHAPPY ‘SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT GENIUS’ MR. McMANN, CEO OF DOMINATION INC. WITH KATHRYN RANDALL COLLINS AND THE REST OF THE CORPORATION.” The crowd boos and jeers McMann and Collins as they head to the ring with the other members of Domination Inc. in tow. They all climb into the ring. Raving Rednecks Locke and Loade, Kevin Scott, American Trucker, and Average Joe move in between the Domination Inc. group and the new PCW Women’s champion. Mr. McMann has a microphone and an extremely terse expression. McMann: “Okay. Congratulations. You won a match last night at a house show. You’ve had your fun. It’s time to hand over the belt and give it back to the women’s champion, Kathryn Randall Collins.” Crowd: “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” McMann: “Look, we don’t want any trouble. We just want the belt back. So, just give us the belt and that’ll be the end of it.” Crowd: “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Tessa: “The last time I checked, Mr. McMann. When a challenger pins or causes the champion to submit, the belt changes hands. I pinned KRC last night in Buffalo, NY. I am the PCW Women’s champion!” A deafening roar from the crowd follows. Suave: “THAT’S RIGHT! YOU TELL ‘EM TESSA!” McMann waits out the crowd. McMann: “Look, Tess. You don’t get it. So let me spell it out for you. A basic tenet of sports entertainment is this- if it doesn’t happen on television, it didn’t happen. You won a match at a house show. Whoop-de-do. It didn’t take place on PCW Extreme Political TV. It didn’t take place at PCW Weapons of Mass Political Destruction. It happened at some barn in Buffalo, NY. Or in other words, it didn’t happen. KRC is the rightful Women’s champion. Hand over the belt.” Crowd: “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” McMann: “Listen, Tess. You can either hand us the belt. Or I’ll send my Corporate Enforcer- Mr. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, over and he’ll take it from you. It’s your ch-”

*flute and clarinet flourish*

Two men come out and unroll a white carpet to the ring steps. Dancers then dance. Ballet dancers…ballet? Little children walk up the white carpet and drop rose petals. Someone lets loose some pigeons…we’re still not sure just how they’ll get out of the building. The crowd stands and lets out a loud ovation as PCW CEO Barack Obama appears with his Aide de Camp Joe Biden by his side. Suave: “AND HERE COMES THE PCW CEO BARACK OBAMA! LISTEN TO THIS CROWD!” Obama and Biden walk to the ring.

Obama: “Okay. What seems to be the problem here?” McMann: “There’s no problem. Tessa Martin won a match against KRC at a house show and was incorrectly awarded the PCW Women’s title. Since the match did not take place on TV, it didn’t take place. That’s basic Sports Entertainment 101. Obama: “Mr. McMann. This isn’t sports entertainment.” Again the crowd stands and cheers. Obama: “The way I see it, a match was won. Tessa pinned KRC fair and square. A pin means the belt changes hands.” McMann: “IT’S NOT THAT SIMPLE! ALL THE BIG TIME WRESTLING SHOWS ONLY CHANGE THEIR TITLES ON TV OR PAY PER VIEW. KRC WASN’T EVEN TRYING IN THAT MATCH BECAUSE IT DIDN’T MEAN ANYTHING. IT WAS A GLORIFIED EXHIBITION MATCH AND NOTHING MORE! WE WANT THE BELT BACK!” Obama: “You’re telling me that because the match last night in Buffalo didn’t take place on TV…ie…PCW Extreme Political TV…that it didn’t count? It meant nothing?” McMann: “YES!” Obama: “Well, I can fix that. ROLL THE TAPE!” McMann: “ROLL THE TAPE? WHAT DO YOU MEAN ROLL THE…OH NO. DON’T SHOW IT…

MATCH #1 FOR THE PCW WOMEN’S TITLE FROM THE BURT FLICKINGER CENTER IN BUFFALO, NY:
‘PCW Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ TESSA MARTIN (Joe SixPacks) vs. KATHRYN RANDALL COLLINS © (Domination Inc.)
The bell rings. KRC is slow to turn around. Tessa races across the ring with her pizza box and blasts KRC in the head with it. KRC staggers. PIZZA CUTTER! PIZZA CUTTER! Tessa covers. 1…2…3…and we have a new PCW Women’s Champion.

WINNER AND NEW PCW WOMEN’S CHAMPION: “PCW Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ TESSA MARTIN

Crowd: “TES-SA MAR-TIN (clap, clap clap-clap-clap) TES-SA MAR-TIN (clap, clap clap-clap-clap) Suave: “Well? That should pretty much solve THAT problem.” Mr. McMann stomps out of the ring and skulks to the back with Domination Inc. right behind him. Suave: “TWO NIGHTS AGO. PCW WEAPONS OF MASS POLITICAL DESTRUCTION! LET’S REVIEW WHAT HAPPENED!”

REPLAY: 3/8 PCW WEAPONS OF MASS POLITICAL DESTRUCTION

ROBERT GIBBS IN RING
Gibbs:
“Welcome to tonight’s event. As this is Barack Obama’s first official as PCW’s CEO, we’d like to extend a special hello to everyone here at the Hammerstein Ballroom tonight. PCW sincerely hopes that you enjoy tonight’s show…

...Voice: “Mr. Gibbs! Over here. I have a question for you.” The spotlight shines on the balcony. Suave: “IT’S ABC WHITE HOUSE CORRESPONDENT JAKE TAPPER!” Gibbs: “Ah, Mr. Tapper. My good friend.” Tapper: “Mr. Gibbs, is it fair to suggest that perhaps CEO Obama and his team is spending too much time worrying about what certain commentators say instead of dealing with the situation at hand? Aren’t you too focused on Santelli, Cramer, and even Rush Limbaugh-”


*Talent on loan from God!*

Gibbs: “Rush, I hate to interrupt you while you’re conversing with your fans…” More boos from the crowd. Gibbs: “…but I’m surprised to see you out here. Don’t you have this big match later tonight?” Limbaugh: “Don’t patronize me, Mr. Gibbs. I’m here to deliver a message to you and Barack Obama’s lackeys.” Gibbs: “Oh. And what’s that, pray tell- OOOOF…” Suave: “IT’S CNBC's JIM CRAMER AND RICK SANTELLI!” Cramer clobbers Gibbs with a forearm from behind and Santelli throws him to the canvas. Santelli and Cramer kick away at Gibbs. Cramer gets a mic. Cramer: “I am a fight, not flight, guy, so I was on my hackles when I heard Obama’s spokesperson Robert Gibbs’ answer to a question about my pointed criticism of the president on multiple venues. So here’s my response.” Cramer takes a wad of cash and jams it in Gibb’s mouth. Santelli continues to kick away. Another spotlight appears and follows someone towards the ring. Suave: “HERE COMES RAHM EMANUEL! IT’S RAHMBO TO THE RESCUE!” Crowd: “RAHM-BO! RAHM-BO!” Emanuel to the ring. Sets up Cramer. Suave: “F-BOMB! EMANUEL JUST DROPPED AN F-BOMB ON CRAMER!” Emanuel pulls Santelli away from Gibbs. Sets him up. Suave: “F-BOMB! F-BOMB!” Emanuel looks for Limbaugh- he’s long gone. Suave: “WHAT A START! RICK SANTELLI AND JIM CRAMER, WITH HELP FROM RUSH LIMBAUGH, ATTACK OBAMA’S SPOKESPERSON AND IT’S RAHM EMANUEL COMING OUT AND DROPPING F-BOMBS TO SAVE THE DAY!”

SPECIAL ADDED ATTRACTION- SIX PERSON MIXED TAG TEAM MATCH:
THE GREEN WORLD ORDER- ‘Extreme Vegan Brock Cole Lee, GreenPete, and Peta from PETA w/PeaceNick vs. POLITICALLY INCORRECT- Al Cahall, Nic Koteen, and the ‘Princess of Political Incorrectness’ Andrea Doria

… GreenPete struggles and finally gets to his feet after a minute but Koteen stops him and whips him into his corner. GreenPete fights off Cahall. Lee back in the ring with a steel folding chair. *CLANG* Cahall’s momentum takes him into his corner and he accidently knocks heads with Koteen. Cahall gets up and gets decked with a clothesline and spine buster bomb by GreenPete! Cahall somehow gets to his feet. Suave: “SPEAR! GREENPETE SPEARED CAHALL. COVER. ONE…TWO…THREE!”

Suave: “THE GREEN WORLD ORDER GETS A HUGE WIN TONIGHT! AND THEY’RE NOT DONE!” ‘Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee has Koteen in position for his finisher. Suave: “JUICER! JUICER! KOTEEN IS BLEEDING LIKE A STUCK PIG. AND PEACENICK HAS A CHLOROFORM SOAKED HANDKERCHIEF ON ANDREA DORIA’S FACE!” Andrea’s legs give out and Peta drops her to the floor. Brock Cole Lee has the mic. Lee: “LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! WE ARE THE GREEN WORLD ORDER…AND WE’RE CHANGING EVERYTHING!” The crowd boos. Lee: “Tonight is just the beginning. It’s a new era here in PCW. A progressive era. An era where we finally have a chance to right the wrongs. An era where our voice, the voices of those who are more enlightened than you ignorant babble, will finally prevail. With CEO Obama at the helm, we will finally legislate your pitiful behavior out of existence.” More boos. Lee: “IT’S TIME THAT THE PROGRESSIVE ALLIANCE GET BEHIND THE GWO AND GIVE US THE PUSH WE DESERVE! WE ARE THE ONES WHO SHOULD CARRY THEIR BANNER! WE ARE THE ONES WHO SHOULD BE THE NEXT PCW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!”


PCW GRUDGE MATCH:
JACK SCHETT and BULL SCHETT w/Horst Schett and Hans Gruber- the Extreme German Schnauzer (Progressive Alliance) vs. ROUGH JUSTICE: D.B. Ruff and Connor Justice- two men fired from the police due to their extreme style of law enforcement (Domination Inc.)
…Jack chokes away at Ruff. Another cover. 1…2…Ruff kicks out. Ruff crawls over to his corner towards his taser. Jack grabs him by the legs and pulls him back towards him. Jack again chokes Ruff against the ropes. He tags in Bull. Slingshot double-clotheslines for the Schetts! Double-avalanche. Justice again tries to get back into the match. He climbs up to the second rope trying for a cross-bodyblock, but Jack catches him into a HUGE sit-out powerbomb...1....2…Ruff breaks up the pin attempt at the last possible second.

Bull throws Ruff out of the ring. Horst Schett sics Hans Gruber- the Extreme German Schnauzer, on him. Hans chases Ruff around the ring. Jack climbs up the corner turnbuckle and Horst hands him a brick that he puts in the back of his trunks. Suave: “IS IT TIME? HERE WE GO! YES! SCHETT-BRICK! SCHETT-BRICK! JACK DROPPED A SCHETT BRICK ON CONNER JUSTICE AND COVERS. ONE…TWO…THREE! THAT’S IT!”

KEITH OLBERMANN PROMO
Olbermann: “Rush Limbaugh. Sarah Palin. Bill O’Reilly. Ann Coulter. You all have one thing in common. You’re all THE WORST PEOPLE IN THE WORLD! … The only Countdown that’s going to happen tonight is the ‘one, two, three’ when your shoulders hit the mat.”

3 WAY DANCE FOR THE PCW TELEVISION TITLE
SEANY McMANN w/Domination Inc. © (Domination Inc.) vs. ‘No Frills’ CHRIS ESCONDIDO (Progressive Alliance) vs. DAVE the MECHANIC (Joe SixPacks)
...’The Corporate Enforcer’ Whiskey Tango Foxtrot starts chokeslamming everything in sight. First, Jimmy from SoCal. Next, Michael Hunt. Next, Richard Headd. A spotlight shines on someone in the mezzanine. Suave: “HOLY CRAP! THAT’S SNAFU!” SNAFU, who’s been training with Dr. Bill by watching old ECW DVD’s of Sabu, has a chair in his hands. Suave: “HOLY CRAP! HE’S JUMPED!” SNAFU falls right for the PCW TV Champion. At the last moment, both members of Rough Justice push McMann out of the way. *CLANG* Suave: “HOLY CRAP!” Crowd: “HOLY S@#$! HOLY S!@#! HOLY S@!#!” Suave: “ROUGH JUSTICE JUST MAY HAVE SAVED SEANY McMANN’S LIFE! DR. BILL SAID LAST WEEK THERE’D BE SOME RETRIBUTION FOR WHAT DOMINATION INC. DID TO HIS ISLAND OF MISFIT WRESTLERS. IT LOOKS LIKE DR. BILL’S MADE GOOD ON HIS PROMISE.”

THE ENTRANCE TO THE HAMMERSTEIN BALLROOM
Four guys carrying athletic bags attempt to enter. They are stopped by security. The four try to talk their way in but security turns them away. Suave: “Hmmm. I bet you Domination Inc. wanted to bring in some extra muscle again tonight. Someone must have tipped PCW off ahead of time? I wonder who found out?”

PCW TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH:
BIG OIL w/Texas Tex and KIRK WALSTREIT – the Wall Street Market Analyst with the man crush on ESPN’s Kirk Herbstreit w/Domination Inc © (Domination Inc.) vs. A. TOM BOMB and HY DROGEN BOMB w/Newt Tron Bomb, SM Art Bomb, Incendiary Bomb, and ‘Straight Shootin’ Maverick’ John McCain (McCain’s Marauders)

‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann is on his cell phone. He doesn’t look very happy...

… Big Oil lays the boots to H-Bomb. Snap suplex, and then a knee to the head by Big Oil. Daisy Cutter-Bomb slides Walstreit a cheese grater. And he rakes it across H-Bomb’s head busting him wide open! Suave: “CHEESE GRATER! CHEESE GRATER! BOTH BOMBS ARE BLOODIED NOW!” Snap mare to H-Bomb by Big Oil. Nerve pinch by Big Oil. H-Bomb somehow fights to his feet, Big Oil turns him and powerbombs H-Bomb into corner turnbuckle. Big Oil follows up with a sit down powerbomb and covers. Suave: “One…two…NO! A-BOMB SOMEHOW GOT OVER THERE AND BROKE UP THE COUNT!”…

…A-Bomb back up top. Huge cross body to Big Oil! A-Bomb covers. 1…2…Walstreit makes the save! DDT to A-Bomb by Walstreit. H-Bomb back in. He takes Walstreit out but Big Oil just levels H-Bomb. A-Bomb from behind, back body drop on Big Oil. Suave: “HE’S SETTING HIM UP FOR THE ATOMIC POWER BOMB!” Daisy into the ring with a steel-folding chair. Suave: “WHAT THE HELL IS SHE DOING?” Daisy raises the chair. *CLANG* Suave: “HOLY CRAP! SHE JUST HIT HER OWN BROTHER WITH THE CHAIR…AND IT DIDN’T FAZE HIM!” A-Bomb drops Big Oil hard on the canvas and turns to Daisy. A-Bomb grabs Daisy. Daisy kicks A-Bomb in the balls. Suave: “OWWW! A-BOMB BACKS UP INTO BIG OIL. HE’S GOT HIM UP…OKLAHOMA DRILLER! OKLAHOMA DRILLER! BIG OIL COVERS. ONE…TWO…THREE!”

DOMINATION INC. SUITE
‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann is pissed. Corporate Spokesman Bradley Scott Wilson Esq is with him. McMann: “WHO LET THIS OUT?” Wilson: “I don’t know sir. It didn’t come from me.” Quadruple R enters. McMann: “Good. You’re here. You got your wish. You get O’Beck Bahama without interference. But. You’d better make sure you take care of business tonight.”

8 PERSON TAG TEAM ELIMINATION MATCH:
Mr. No-Spin BILL O’REILLY, The Queen of Political Extreme ANN COULTER, The Innovator of Extreme Broadcast Excellence RUSH LIMBAUGH, and The Alaskan Pitbull SARAH PALIN vs. MSNBC’s KEITH OLBERMANN, MSNBC’S RACHEL MADDOW, ‘Hardball’ CHRIS MATTHEWS, and ARIANNA HUFFINGTON
The bell rings. O’Reilly and Olbermann, Coulter and Maddow, Palin and Huffington, and Matthews and Limbaugh all lock up...

…Huffington escapes a powerslam and takes Palin down. They roll around the ring a bit. Suave: “CAT-FIIIIIGHT! CAT-FIIIIIGHT!” Coulter gets a knee drop to Maddow. She rams Maddow to the corner, sets her up top. Suplex from the top rope. Coulter covers. Olbermann pulls her off to break the count. *CLANG* Matthews is woozy after taking a chairshot by Limbaugh on the outside. *CLANG* Matthews goes down. Limbaugh covers. 1…2…3…

…Coulter charges with a Stinger type splash towards Huffington. Huffington moves and Coulter drives Sarah Palin hard into the corner. Palin staggers out. Maddow rolls her up. 1…2…3…

… O’Reilly clotheslines Olbermann over the top rope. Coulter has Huffington set- sit down slam. Coulter covers. 1…2…3

Suave: “It’s now three against two...

…Limbaugh grabs a steel folding chair and throws it up and dropkicks it. Olbermann ducks and the chair NAILS O’REILLY! Suave: “HOLY CRAP! O’REILLY CAUGHT THE CHAIR FLUSH ON THE KISSER. BUT OLBERMANN CAN’T COVER…WAIT! IT’S THE ANGRY LEFT WING BLOGGERS!” Run-in by the Angry Left Wing Bloggers (Daily Kos, Jane Hamsher, Paul Krugman, and Media Matters for America). Kos and Krugman takes control on Limbaugh. Powerbomb try, no, they can’t lift Limbaugh up. Olbermann for the cover on O’Reilly who’s bleeding big time now. 1…2…3. …


Suave: “… HERE COMES THE RIGHT WING BRIGADIERS!” Ingraham, Sean Hannity, Michelle Malkin, and Jonah Goldberg run-in to even the odds. Malkin and Ingraham double team Maddow right away. Hannity and Goldberg cleans house. Hamsher rams Coulter into Ingraham! Spine buster to Coulter! Hamsher misses a spear attempt on Malkin rams herself into the ringpost. Lariat to Maddow by Ingraham. Basement dropkick onto Hamsher. Maddow chokes out Malkin as Ingraham chokes out Hamsher. …

Suave: “IT’S CNN’S LOU DOBBS AND CAMPBELL BROWN, JIM COOPER AND BLUE DOG D! RINO WITH SUSAN COLLINS, OLYMPIA SNOWE, AND ARLEN SPECTOR!” ‘The Wonk Machine’ RINO spears Jonah Goldberg and then attacks Paul Krugman! Blue Dog D is out as well and we have wild brawling on the floor between him and Daily Kos! Blue Dog D tosses Kos into the steel guardrail. He has a steel folding chair. *CLANG* *CLANG* Kos flips backwards into the crowd. Blue Dog D sets another chair up by the guardrail. He runs, off the chair, and splashes Kos in the crowd…

…Rights by Coulter. Atomic drop on Maddow and Coulter rams her into the corner. Big splash on Maddow. Suave: “MADDOW’S IN TROUBLE! WAIT A MINUTE! OLBERMANN HAS A BAT! HOLY CRAP! HE JUST TOOK OUT COULTER!” Olbermann covers 1…2…3…

Limbaugh covers Maddow. 1…2…3
.

Suave: “AND IT’S DOWN TO LIMBAUGH vs. OLBERMANN...

… Limbaugh smirks. Olbermann sneers. He again cocks the bat back to swing. The crowd rises when two men run out and grab the bat. Suave: “IT’S CNBC’S RICK SANTELLI AND JIM CRAMER!” Olbermann whirls around to see. *CLANG* Suave: “HOLY CRAP! LIMBAUGH NAILS OLBERMANN WITH THE CHAIR! OLBERMANN STAGGERS AND FALLS ON THE RING TABLE!” Santelli and Cramer set Olbermann up. Limbaugh climbs the corner turnbuckle. Suave: “HE’S NOT! HE’S NOT GOING TO DO THIS!” Limbaugh leaps and plows Olbermann through the table. Crowd: “PCW!...PCW!...PCW!...” Suave: “HOLY CRAP! OLBERMANN DESTROYED THAT TABLE! LIMBAUGH CRAWLS OVER. 1…2…3.”

PCW WOMEN’S TITLE MATCH:
MIA MARGARITA (Domination Inc.) vs. KATHRYN RANDALL COLLINS © (Domination Inc)
…The bell rings. KRC and Mia come out and circle. Mia stops and stands up straight. KRC pokes her with her finger. Mia falls down as if she’s been shot. The crowd immediately starts to boo. KRC puts her foot on Mia’s stomach. 1…2…3.

PCW TITLE MATCH:
O’BECK BAHAMA w/ ‘Not Just Intolerable, Not Just Unbearable, He is’ Justin Sufferable © (Progressive Alliance) vs. QUADRUPLE R w/Domination Inc. (Domination Inc.)

...He pulls Bahama up again and Quadrupleplexs the champ. Cover. 1…2…NO! Again, Bahama kicks out. Irish whip by Quad R. Suave: “SLEEPER! QUAD R HAS A SLEEPER LOCKED IN!” Quad R has Bahama dead center in the ring. Suave: “HE’S STARTING TO FADE. QUAD R IS HANGING ON FOR DEAR LIFE. HE MAY BE MERE SECONDS AWAY FROM BECOMING THE PCW CHAMPION!” Bahama stumbles a step forward and falls to one knee. Then he topples forward. Suave: “THAT’S IT! NO! BAHAMA HAS HIS HAND ON THE ROPES! BUT QUAD R THINKS HE’S WON!” The ref breaks the hold and Quad R starts celebrating in the ring. He goes for the belt. Suave: “THE REF JUST TOLD HIM THAT BAHAMA MADE THE ROPES! QUAD R CAN’T BELIEVE IT!” Quad R gets in the ref’s face and starts arguing with him- giving Bahama invaluable time to recover. Mr. McMann screams at Quad R to cover him. Quad R pushes the ref and goes out to get a chair…

Suave: “MR. McMANN CAN’T BELIEVE IT! ALL QUAD R HAS TO DO IS PULLS BAHAMA OUT OF THE ROPES AND HE’D WIN THE MATCH!” McMann continues to yell at Quad R to cover Bahama. Quad R back in the ring with a chair. *CLANG* He takes out the ref. McMann can’t believe it. Bahama slowly regains his faculties. The crowd suddenly roars. Suave: “IT’S RUSH LIMBAUGH! THE INNOVATOR OF EXTREME BROADCAST EXCELLENCE!” Rush grabs a steel folding chair and potatoes Bahama with it. Suave: “HOLY CRAP!” McMann again screams at Quad R to pin Bahama. He finally pulls Bahama out of the ropes and covers. No referee. Suave: “QUAD R JUST ROYALLY SCREWED HIMSELF! AND HERE COMES JOE SIXPACKS!”

Mia Margarita slips into the ring. Suave: “ALL HELL’S BROKE LOOSE!” Mia locates Bahama and goes over to him. She tries to kiss him but a hand grabs her arm and yanks her back. Suave: “HOLY CRAP! IT’S PCW SECURITY DIRECTOR DAWN McGILL!” The crowd stands. McGill rips off the lip cover and puts it on. Then she plants a kiss on Mia. Suave: “YES! YES! MIA’S GETTING SOME OF HER OWN MEDICINE!” Mia’s arms go limp and her legs become rubbery. McGill lets go and she plops on the canvas. McGill rips the lip cover off and throws it out of the ring. She now goes to the Singapore cane. *CRACK* Down goes Big Oil. *CRACK* Next, Kirk Walstreit. *CRACK* Daisy Cutter-Bomb. Suave: “McGILL IS CLEANING HOUSE!”

Quad R grabs McGill from behind. He sets her for the Scorpion Death Drop. McGill does a back flip out of it and then plants her 4” stilettos in Quad R’s groin. Suave: “HOLY CRAP!” Quad R staggers backwards into Bahama. Bahama quickly puts him in the Bahama Backbreaker. Suave: “HE’S GOT HIM! HE’S GOT HIM! WILL QUAD R TAP OUT? BAHAMA CINCHES IT IN BUT QUAD R REFUSES TO TAP!” A new ref asks Quad R if he wants to give up. Quad R doesn’t answer. Suave: “HE’S PASSED OUT. BAHAMA DUMPS HIM ON THE CANVAS. HE’S STILL THE PCW CHAMPION!”

PCW NEWSLINE:

ROUGH JUSTICE RELEASED FROM HOSPITAL THIS MORNING
D.B. Ruff and Connor Justice both were released from a Buffalo hospital after suffering concussions in their match Sunday night at PCW Weapons of Mass Political Destruction.

REPLAY: 3/8-PCW WEAPONS OF MASS POLITICAL DESTRUCTION
POST MATCH AFTER PCW TELEVISION TITLE BOUT

A spotlight shines on someone in the mezzanine. Suave: “HOLY CRAP! THAT’S SNAFU!” SNAFU, who’s been training with Dr. Bill by watching old ECW DVD’s of Sabu, has a chair in his hands. Suave: “HOLY CRAP! HE’S JUMPED!” SNAFU falls right for the PCW TV Champion. At the last moment, both members of Rough Justice push McMann out of the way. *CLANG* Suave: “HOLY CRAP!” Crowd: “HOLY S@#$! HOLY S!@#! HOLY S@!#!” Suave: “ROUGH JUSTICE JUST MAY HAVE SAVED SEANY McMANN’S LIFE!

Rough Justice were sent home to rest and should be back by the first of April.

MIA MARGARITA ALSO RELEASED FROM HOSPITAL
Mia left a Buffalo hospital late last night after sufficiently recovering from the effects of the neuro-paralyzing drug she absorbed Sunday night. Mia should be back in action by the end of the month.

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PCW CEO BARACK OBAMA’S OFFICE
Obama, Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, Steny Hoyer, Mitch McConnell, and John Boehner are all seated. Mr. McMann walks in. McMann: “Obama, you said you wanted a-” McMann sees the others in the room. Obama: “Yes, Mr. McMann. Ms. Pelosi has something she’d like to tell you.” Pelosi: “In lieu of the fact that you cheated our fans out of two matches Sunday night and the way that Domination Inc. ‘helped’ your son become the PCW Television champion, the PCW Competition Committee has voted 3-2 that Seany McMann will defend the PCW Television Title in just a few minutes against ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido in a cage match.” McMann: “But-” Pelosi: “Oh. And in the event little McMann thinks he can DQ himself and hold on to the title, I’ve made it a no DQ match. Oh…and no interference or else the belt changes hands.” McMann is stunned. He glances at Mitch McConnell. McConnell: “Sorry, Mr. McMann. There’s nothing we could have done about this one.”

Suave: “YOU HEARD IT! A CAGE MATCH BETWEEN SEANY McMANN AND ‘NO FRILLS’ CHRIS ESCONDIDO FOR THE PCW TELEVISION TITLE. COMING UP NEXT, RIGHT AFTER THIS…”

PCW NEWSLINE:

POLITICAL CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING ANNOUNCES: “PCW EXTREME MARCH MAYHEM”
Starting next Tuesday, 3/17, PCW will hold a tag team tournament- just like NCAA Basketball. There will be 16 tag teams in all in brackets and the winner gets a guaranteed shot at the PCW Tag Team Title.

There will also be a women’s single tournament held simultaneously. The winner of the women’s tournament will also get a title shot (for the women’s belt).

Dates are as follows:3/17, 3/24, 3/29, and the championships will be held on 3/31.

The brackets will be unveiled in the 3/16 PCW Newsline.

UPCOMING EVENTS:
3/12- PCW Newsline
3/16- PCW Newsline- PCW Extreme March Mayhem Brackets Released
3/17- PCW Fourth Anniversary Birthday Show from Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon
3/19- PCW Newsline
3/23- PCW Newsline
3/24- PCW Extreme Political TV- Quarterfinals of the tag team and women’s tournament
3/26- PCW Newsline
3/29- PCW Special on P-SPAN- Semi Finals of the tag team and women’s tournament
3/30- PCW Newsline
3/31- PCW Extreme Political TV- Championships of the tag team and women’s tournament

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MATCH #2 PCW TELEVISION TITLE CAGE MATCH
‘No Frills’ CHRIS ESCONDIDO (Progressive Alliance)
vs.
‘The Little Sports Entertainment Genius’ SEANY McMANN © (Domination Inc)
Escondido paces back and forth inside the cage. Seany’s still outside. Suave: “It looks like they’re having problems getting Seany to go into the cage.” Mr. McMann tries to drag a kicking and screaming Seany towards the cage door. Finally, ‘Corporate Enforcer’ Whiskey Tango Foxtrot picks Seany up and deposits him in the cage. The door is shut. The bell rings. Seany runs for his life. Escondido stalks him. Seany slides under the ropes and runs around the ring apron. Escondido waits and measures him. Finally, dropkick by Escondido ricochets Seany’s face off the cage. Escondido flips Seany over the top rope back into the ring. He drags Seany across the ring and flings him into the cage. Suave: “HE’S BUSTED OPEN!” Seany twirls and staggers. Escondido drags him the other and whips him into the cage. Then again, across the ring and Seany’s face mashes into the cage. And then the other way. Suave: “SEANY’S FACE IS A FREAKIN’ MESS. HE DOESN’T KNOW WHERE HE’S AT.”

Bulldog by Escondido. Suave: “ANKLE LOCK! ANKLE LOCK! THAT’S IT! ‘NO FRILLS’ CHRIS ESCONDIDO WINS BACK THE PCW TELEVISION TITLE!”

WINNER AND NEW PCW TELEVISION CHAMPION: ‘No Frills’ CHRIS ESCONDIDO

Suave: “THAT’S ALL FOR TONIGHT! NEXT WEEK, PCW EXTREME MARCH MAYHEM! SEE YOU THEN!

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Links:

Political Championship Wrestling at Blogspot

Political Championship Wrestling at Wordpress

American Heartland Bar and Grill

Prairie Depot Press at Blogspot

Screw the BCS at Blogspot

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