Tuesday, February 10, 2009

2/10-PCW Extreme Political TV: Obama in Crisis as Domination Inc's Hostile Takeover Begins

LAST WEEK ON PCW EXTREME POLITICAL TV:
-After accusing the Voice of PCW Johnny Suave of masturbating to a Sarah Palin poster, MSNBC’s Keith Olbermann delivers one of his patented Super-Special Comments against Rush Limbaugh and gets attacked by ‘The Innovator of Extreme Broadcast Excellence’ and the ‘Queen of Political Extreme’ Ann Coulter.

-Dave the Mechanic (Joe SixPacks) defeats SNAFU (Dr. Bill’s Island of Misfit Wrestlers) via a jolt from his jumper cables. Dave gets another crack at the PCW Television Title in two weeks.

-Politically Incorrect (NRA, Nic Koteen, and Al Cahall) def. The Green World Order (‘Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee, GreenPete, and PeaceNick) when Cahall and Koteen destroy Brock Cole Lee with a double Southern Comfort.

-A quick recap of PCW Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl Tessa Martin’s new show on ESP-TV

-PCW Champion O’Beck Bahama (Progressive Alliance) retains the title against Quadruple R (Domination Inc.) after multiple run-ins by Domination Inc., Rahm Emanuel who drops a bunch of F-Bombs on Domination Inc., McCain’s Marauders, and PCW Security Director Dawn McGill.

POST SHOW NOTES
-An angry Quadruple R tore up the locker room after his match was thrown out with O’Beck Bahama. It took several members of Domination Inc to drag him out of the arena afterwards.

-‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann was also noticeably upset as he left with CFO Gordon Guyko, Rush Limbaugh, and Ann Coulter.

-PCW CEO Barack Obama and the Progressive Alliance were very pleased with Rahm Emanuel and how he jumped right into the fight when things broke down in the O’Beck Bahama/Quadruple R match. Emanuel showcased his signature move- the F-Bomb, and dropped it liberally on the members of Domination Inc.

-New American Patriots Executive Director Michael Steele met with John McCain after the show to discuss bringing McCain’s Marauders back under the American Patriots umbrella. No word on how the talks went. Steele also tried to track down Sarah Palin as well.

PCW EXTREME POLITICAL TV: February 10th from the A.G. Arena, Allentown, PA
Host: Johnny Suave

Crowd: “PCW!...PCW!...PCW!...” Suave: “HELLO AND WELCOME TO P-C-W!” Crowd: “PCW!...PCW!...PCW!...” Suave: “I AM JOHNNY SUAVE. THIS SMOKIN’ HOT PIECE OF CARDBOARD IS SHANIA TWAIN!...

Suave:...AND WE ARE LIVE TONIGHT FROM THE A.G. ARENA IN ALLENTOWN, PENNSYLVANIA! THE ROAD TOWARDS NEXT MONTH’S PCW WEAPONS OF MASS POLITICAL DESTRUCTION 2 PAY PER VIEW STARTS HERE AND THE TAG TEAM ACTION IS RED HOT! LET’S GO BACK TWO NIGHTS TO A PCW HOUSE SHOW IN PLYMOUTH MEETING, PENNSYLVANIA!

2/8 PCW HOUSE SHOW from the Lu Lu Temple in Plymouth Meeting, PA
AL CAHALL AND NIC KOTEEN w/Andrea Doria (Politically Incorrect)
vs.
JACK SCHETT and BULL SCHETT w/Horst Schett and Hans Gruber- the Extreme Schnauzer. (Progressive Alliance)
…Cahall and Jack Schett brawl in the corner while Koteen hits two charging back elbows on Bull Schett. Koteen applies a combo cobra clutch/back stretch over the knee. Bull powers out and delivers a nasty flapjack on Koteen. Cahall and Jack roll out of the ring and continue to brawl on the floor. Bull hits an inverted atmoic drop on Koteen and a huge roaring lariat. Cover. 1…2…Andrea Doria in the ring to distract and Koteen kicks out. She scurries back out of the ring. Koteen to the top but Bull gets there and hits a top rope jawbreaker! Bull takes off his elbow pad and hits a charging lariat in the corner. Koteen topples forward. Horst slips a brick in the rear of Bull’s trunks and he climbs the turnbuckle. SCHETT-BRICK! Cover. 1…2…3.

WINNER: JACK SCHETT and BULL SCHETT

Suave: "So, the Schett Brothers start their way back towards a possible title shot against the PCW Champions Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit (Domination Inc.) Last night in Glenolden, Pennsylvania, two more tag teams moved forward:"

2/9 PCW HOUSE SHOW from Briarcliff Field House, Glenolden, PA
LITTLE PAULIE and BIG PAULIE (American Bikers)
vs.
GRIZZLY ADAM and HUNTER the HUNTER w/Sarah Palin (SarahPAC)
…Little Paulie and Big Paulie lift Grizzly Adam...double flapjack. Hunter throws the bear trap in the corner. Grizzly whips Little Paulie right towards it. Big Paulie catches him and slings him back. Little Paulie for a monkey flip but Grizzly slams him down. He picks Little Paulie back up…BEARHUG! BEARHUG! Hunter the Hunter holds Big Paulie back. Little Paulie taps out.

WINNER: GRIZZLY ADAM and HUNTER the HUNTER

Suave: “So Grizzly Adam gets a tag team win in his first official PCW match. And then things got interesting…” Sarah Palin holds up both Grizzly Adam’s and Hunter’s arms in victory. Then she’s attacked from behind. Suave: “That’s right. Actress Ashley Judd, accompanied by the Green World Order, Pearl Harbored Sarah Palin from behind. And we have ourselves a CAT-FIIIIGGHT! CAT-FIIIIIGHT!" Judd is upset with Palin over the airborne shooting of wolves in Alaska. Grizzly Adam and Hunter fend off ‘Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee and GreenPete of the GWO. Palin regains her balance and clobbers Judd over the head with her hockey stick. Suave: “HOLY CRAP!” Peta from PETA then runs in and she gets cut down by the hockey stick. Hunter the Hunter whips Lee into the corner. *SNAP* Suave: “BEAR TRAP! BEAR TRAP! GreenPete and PeaceNick manage to get the trap off Lee’s foot but it turned out to be in vain as they were to meet A. Tom Bomb and Hy Drogen Bomb next.

A. TOM BOMB and HY DROGEN BOMB w/Newt Tron Bomb and SM Art Bomb (McCain’s Marauders)
vs.
GREENPETE and ‘Extreme Vegan’ BROCK COLE LEE w/PeaceNick and Peta from PETA (Green World Order)
Lee hobbles on one leg. A-Bomb and H-Bomb doubleteam GreenPete. Atomic Power Bomb. Hydogen Power Bomb. Cover. 1…2…3.

WINNER: A. TOM BOMB and HY DROGEN BOMB

Suave: "So now, we go to the ring for another tag team match…"

MATCH #1
AVERAGE JOE and AMERICAN TRUCKER w/Tequila Sheila, ‘PCW Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin, Kevin Scott, Raving Redneck Gary Locke and Joe the Plumber (Joe SixPacks)
vs.
ROUGH JUSTICE- D.B. RUFF and CONNOR JUSTICE w/Domination Inc. (Domination Inc.)
Suave: “Average Joe and American Trucker get the call as Raving Redneck Earl Loade was injured in a training accident last week. Not sure what the deal is with Domination Inc. sending up a second tag team.” The bell rings and Quadruple R immediately hops the ropes and clocks Average Joe in the mouth. Suave: “What the hell?” Quad R drives Average Joe into the corner with hard punches. Ruff and Justice doubleteam clothesline American Trucker. Kevin Scott in the ring and he goes right for Quad R. Gary Locke gets involved.

*Def Leppard’s Rock, Rock Til You Drop blares over the loudspeaker*

Suave: “Well? Once upon a time, that would have been a good thing. Now, it’s not…” The Corporate Enforcer Whiskey Tango Foxtrot runs down. Kick to the groin of Average Joe. Lift. Chokeslam. Ruff and Justice hold American Trucker up. Kick to the groin. Lift. Chokeslam. Kevin Scott. Kick to the groin. Lift. Chokeslam. Poor Joe the Plumber. Kick to the groin. Lift. Chokeslam. Suave: “WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT AND DOMINATION INC IS DECIMATING JOE SIXPACKS! WHERE’S THE PCW SECURITY DIRECTOR, DAWN McGILL?”

BACKSTAGE
PCW Security Director Dawn McGill lies unconscious on the floor. Nurse Nellie and the PCW Clean-Up Crew quickly respond. Suave: “HOLY CRAP! SOMEONE TOOK OUT DAWN McGILL???” Daisy Cutter Bomb has Tequila Sheila. Lift. Daisy Cutter Power-Bomb. PCW Women’s Champion Kathryn Randall Collins and PCW Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl Tessa Martin brawl in the ring. Daisy grabs Tessa’s oversized pizza box and rolls into the ring. Daisy bashes her in the head with the pizza box. Suave: “Oh, no. Daisy’s got her up. DAISY CUTTER POWER-BOMB! HOLY CRAP! DOMINATION INC. HAS DESTROYED THE JOE SIXPACKS!” Suave: “I guess after the press release Domination Inc released last Thursday, this shouldn’t have been that much of a surprise.”

PCW NEWSLINE

DOMINATION INC. PRESS RELEASE
After the events that took place Tuesday night, it is clear to Domination, Inc. that PCW has no interest in protecting our wrestlers from unwarranted and repeated interference. It is unacceptable to us what happened where Rahm Emanuel is given free reign to run in and drop F-Bombs all over the place, McCain’s Marauders come out for no reason whatsoever to interject themselves in our match, and the actions of PCW Security Director Dawn McGill are not remotely fair and impartial.

This is the second time that Quadruple R has had a match lost because of excessive run-ins. He is very upset at this development and so are we. This is simply an issue of fairness and what happened to Quadruple R Tuesday night is completely not fair.

Another one of our complaints is Ms. McGill deliberately injured one of Domination Inc.’s prized assets, Big Oil, with repeated kicks to his groin.

Since PCW is not willing to take appropriate action to stop this, Domination Inc. will take matters into our own hands. You can be sure that on next week’s PCW Extreme Political TV, Domination Inc. will aggressively protect our wrestlers and take whatever measures we deem necessary.

DOMINATION INC. PROMO
Domination Inc. CEO ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann, CFO Gordon Guyko, Corporate Enforcer Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, Rough Justice, PCW Women’s Champion Kathryn Randall Collins are in the ring. McMann has the microphone. McMann: “Joe SixPacks. Consider this a long overdue payback for sticking your nose into our business affairs. You ordinary scum are no match for the corporate might of Domination Inc. Dawn McGill. Consider this a long overdue payback for sticking your nose into our affairs. We warned you. We warned PCW CEO Barack Obama. We warned all of you. You see, Domination Inc now has all the pieces in place to accomplish our ultimate goal- the total domination of Political Championship Wrestling. And now, having removed the PCW Security Director as a threat, having punished Joe SixPacks for daring to stand up to our conglomerate, having made Joe SixPacks a living example of what will happen to ANYONE who gets in our way and tries to stop us from fulfilling our mission statement, we have laid the groundwork for what will take place on March 8th at the Hammerstein Ballroom in New York City. Tonight is the night, THE HOSTILE TAKEOVER OF PCW BEGINS!”

PCW CEO BARACK OBAMA’S OFFICE
A worried Obama watches Mr. McMann’s promo on the monitor with his aide de camp Joe Biden. PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein walks in. Obama: “Woodward. Not now.” Bernstein: “But Mr. CEO, this is a full blown crisis. How will you respond to what Mr. McMann just said? What are your options?” Biden: “Whatever they are, if we do everything right, if we do it with absolute certainty, there’s still a 30 percent chance we’ll get it wrong.” Obama: “JOE!” Bernstein: “Mr. CEO?” Obama: “Woodward, the gravity of the situation is clear. Remember, I inherited this mess from the previous PCW CEO. I will get a handle on the issue and address the issue to protect Political Championship Wrestling.”

Suave: “Whoa. A very terse PCW CEO Barack Obama. PCW Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl Tessa Martin was supposed to wrestle next. But due to the Domination Inc attack on Joe SixPacks, The Eskimo Queen Kalee Jones has stepped up to wrestle in her place.”

MATCH #2
KALEE JONES- The Eskimo Queen w/'The Alaskan Pitbull' Sarah Palin (SarahPAC)
vs.
CODE PINK (Progressive Alliance)
Code Pink doinks the eyes and tries a scoop slam. She can't get Jones off the ground. Jones tries one but Code Pink slips out. She hits some kicks to the back of the knee. Forearms by Code Pink. She goes to the second rope and tries a leaping clothesline and gets killed by Jones in the process. Whip by Jones followed by an avalanche. Jones lifts Code Pink by her hair. She tries to fight back but Jones throws her down and then applies a bear hug. Code Pink gets out via the bell-ringer escape. Jones up on top. Hits the Air Avalanche! Suave: “HOLY CRAP!” Jones lifts Code Pink…Suave: “ESKIMO PIEFACE!...ESKIMO PIEFACE!” Cover. 1…2…3.

WINNER: KALEE JONES- The Eskimo Queen

Suave: “KALEE JONES WITH ANOTHER IMPRESSIVE WIN HERE AT PCW!” Sarah Palin in the ring to hold up her wrestlers arm in victory. Suave: “IT’S ASHLEY JUDD AGAIN!” Judd goes for Palin and gets an eyeful of Kalee Jones. Suave: “Oh, oh…” Ashley smiles and tries to walk away. Jones grabs her, lifts, ESKIMO PIEFACE. Crowd: “PCW!...PCW!...PCW!...” PCW

NEWSLINE

2/12- PCW Newsline
2/16- PCW Newsline
2/17- PCW Extreme Political TV
2/19- PCW Newsline
2/23- PCW Newsline
2/24- PCW Extreme Political TV
2/26- PCW Newsline
3/2- PCW Newsline
3/3- PCW Extreme Political TV
3/5- PCW Newsline
3/7- PCW Weapons of Mass Political Destruction Preview
3/8- PCW Weapons of Mass Political Destruction PPV

OUTSIDE THE ARENA
PCW Security Director Dawn McGill is loaded into an ambulance. The lights come on and the ambulance pulls away. Suave: “PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein is going to the hospital to dig out whatever information he can about McGill’s condition.”

BACKSTAGE
‘The Innovator of Extreme Broadcast Excellence’ Rush Limbaugh and ‘The Queen of Political Extreme’ Ann Coulter talk with Laura Ingraham, Sean Hannity, and Michelle Malkin. Limbaugh: “John McCain’s destroyed the American Patriots. The only course of action to bring them back to their former glory is to align with Domination Inc.” Coulter: “If you want to stop Barack Obama and his socialist agenda, Domination Inc is the only choice we have.”

Suave:
“Interesting. Can Limbaugh and Coulter talk the other Right Wing Brigadiers into joining Domination Inc.?”

MATCH #3
SNAFU w/Dr. Bill (Dr. Bill’s Island of Misfit Wrestlers)
vs.
KEVIN SCOTT (Joe SixPacks)
Suave: “IT’S QUADRUPLE R! HE THREW SNAFU OFF THE RING APRON AND HE AND KEVIN SCOTT ARE BEATING THE LIVING HELL OUT OF EACH OTHER!” Quad R and Scott throw haymakers. Suave: “HERE COMES BIG OIL AND KIRK WALSTREIT! THEY’RE BACK!” Big Oil clubs Scott in the back. Now it’s 3 on 1. Suave: “BIG OIL LIFTS HIM UP…OKLAHOMA DRILLER! OKLAHOMA DRILLER! NOW WALSTREIT TAKES SCOTT TO THE TOP TURNBUCKLE! NO…STOCK MARKET PLUNGE! STOCK MARKET PLUNGE!”

Quad R with chairs in the ring now. Suave: “SOMEONE STOP HIM! SOMEONE…” The crowd lets out a huge roar. Suave: “IT’S RAHMBO! AND JACK AND BULL SCHETT!” Rahm Emanuel and the Schetts hit the ring. Quad R flips them off. Big stare off between the Schett’s and Big Oil/Walstreit. Quad R leaps at Emanuel. Rahmbo turns, grabs… Suave: “F-BOMB! EMANUEL JUST DROPPED AN F-BOMB ON QUAD R!” Jack and Bull Schett dare the PCW Tag Team Champs to come at them. Big Oil smiles and waves them off. He and Walstreit slip out of the ring.

Suave:
“OH, YOU KNOW IT’S NOT OVER YET BETWEEN JACK AND BULL SCHETT AND THE PCW TAG TEAM CHAMPS. WE’LL HOPEFULLY HAVE MORE INFORMATION ABOUT THE CONDITION OF DAWN McGILL NEXT WEEK. MORE ON DOMINATION INC’S HOSTILE TAKER OF PCW NEXT WEEK. SEE YOU THEN.

---------------

LINKS:
Buckland County Gazette

Political Championship Wrestling at Blogspot

Political Championship Wrestling at Wordpress

American Heartland Bar and Grill

Prairie Depot Press at Blogspot

Screw the BCS at Blogspot

Exploding Sheep Productions

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