Wednesday, January 21, 2009

1/20-PCW Night of Champions- Hour 2: Rahm Emanuel aka Rahmbo debuts, O'Beck Bahama Retains PCW Title, 3 Other Title Matches

Hour 2

‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann paces back and forth in his office. The door busts open and Quadruple R bursts in. Quad R: “This is total and complete bull****! We don’t have to take this from them. I’m sick and tired of getting screwed over by PCW. We can’t let this go unanswered. I want them and I want them now. Let me do it, Mr. McMann. Let me do it.” McMann hesitates. McMann: “Oh…the hell with it. Fine. When KRC’s match starts, go do whatever you’re going to do.”

Suave: “O—kay. That doesn’t augur good for the women’s title match. Let’s go back to last week's PCW Extreme Political TV as ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido was to defend the PCW Television Title against SNAFU.”

REPLAY- MATCH SNAFU w/Dr. Bill (Independent) vs.
‘No Frills’ CHRIS ESCONDIDO (Progressive Alliance)
Escondido’s already in the ring. No sign of SNAFU or Dr. Bill. Suave: “I wonder what’s going on?”

Dave the Mechanic stands over an unconscious SNAFU. Tequila Sheila has the battery to Dr. Bill’s motorized wheelchair. Dave goes over to Dr. Bill. Dave the Mechanic: “Here’s the scoop, Doc. I will get my chance at the PCW Television Title next week at PCW Night of Champions. I will do so without any interference from you or SNAFU or else I promise you that anything you do to me I will return ten thousand times over. This is my title shot. You and SNAFU stay the hell away.”

Dr. Bill: “All right. You’ve got your wish, Dave. SNAFU has a concussion and he’s still recovering which means we won’t be at PCW Night of Champions. But mark my words. You’re now on the list as well. First, we’ll deal with Escondido. Then, we’ll deal with you. But remember this- when you don't respond to what happens in the world, you don't respond to what people say to you. What you do is respond to what you say to yourself about what they say to you. It's all about you, it's not about them. Or in other words, we will respond in kind to your attack last week. It doesn’t take a nagging mother-in-law to cry a lot, Dave. And when SNAFU gets through with you, that’s exactly what you’ll be doing. Crying. With your mother-in-law. Or something like that. Now…go take on the day.”

Suave: “So. It looks like SNAFU is out. Can Dave the Mechanic capitalize on this? We’re about to find out.”

‘No Frills’ CHRIS ESCONDIDO © (Progressive Alliance) vs.
DAVE THE MECHANIC w/Tequila Sheila (Joe SixPacks)
The bell rings and they lock up. Quick chain wrestling sequence where both men reverse each other. The crowd claps in appreciation. Escondido puts Dave in a headlock. Dave escapes and whips Escondido off the ropes. Hip toss sends Escondido to the canvas. Dave hits a bulldog and covers. Escondido kicks out at two. Another headlock by Escondido, but again Dave gets out and whips the TV Champ into the ropes. Escondido holds on to the ropes and composes himself. Escondido comes back with a boot and goes to the ring apron. Dave charges, Escondido hits a shoulder block, and he tries to leap back in. Dave catches coming in and Escondido gets sent to the outside. Dave follows and whips Escondido into the ring post. Dave brings Escondido back into the ring and works on the left shoulder. He rams Escondido into the turnbuckle. Escondido tries fights out with a kick but Dave catches him on the second try and drills Escondido’s head right into the mat. Cover. Again, Escondido kicks out at two. Escondido starts fighting back. He blocks a shoulder block attempt and hits a boot to the face. Escondido covers…two count. Suave: “So far, Dave the Mechanic is about a step ahead of the PCW TV champ. He continues to show that he belongs in there with him.”

Escondido locks Dave in a reverse headlock. Dave fights out and catches Jack ducking too early after a whip and nails him with a boot to the face. Dave goes up top, but Escondido catches him and turns it into a superplex. Escondido crawls over and covers. Dave kicks out at two. Again, Escondido goes back to an arm wrench hammerlock and tries to wear down Dave. Dave makes the corner. But Escondido hammers at his back and lifts him up on the turnbuckle. Suave: “Superplex on the way!” Dave fights out of the superplex. Escondido ducks down and hits a powerbomb. Cover. Another two count. Dave kicks out at two! Escondido follows with a belly to belly Suplex. Another cover; another two count. Escondido notices the turnbuckle pad got ripped off. Escondido bulldogs Dave and then tries to apply the Angle Ankle Lock. Dave rolls out and counters with a side Russian Legsweep. Escondido back up and Dave shoves off a second bulldog attempt. Roll up. Escondido kicks out in 2. A third bulldog attempt doesn’t work. Escondido into the ropes. Dave rolls him up. One…two…barely kicks out. Suave: “WOW! That was a 2.999999 count. Escondido barely got out but he’s in big trou-…Hey…who’s that? That’s Rahm Emanuel…RAHM-BO!” Crowd: “RAHMMMM-BO….RAHMMMMM-BO…” Irish whip attempt by Dave. Escondido counters and sends Dave into the ropes. Emanuel grabs his legs and stops him. Suave: “HOLY CRAP! EMANUEL GRABBED DAVE AND THEN ESCONDIDO NEARLY DECAPATATES HIM WITH A CLOTHESLINE!” Dave staggers forward. Bulldog by Escondido. Suave: “THERE HE GOES…ANKLE LOCK! ANKLE LOCK! ANKLE LOCK! TEQUILA SHEILA IN THE RING!” Rahmbo runs over and grabs her legs and pulls them out from under her. Suave: “THAT’S IT! DAVE TAPS OUT!”



1/22- PCW Newsline
1/26- PCW Newsline
1/27- PCW Extreme Political TV
1/29- PCW Newsline
2/2- PCW Newsline
2/3- PCW Extreme Political TV
2/6- PCW Newsline
2/9- PCW Newsline
2/10- PCW Extreme Political TV
More to come leading up to: 3/8- PCW Weapons of Mass Political Destruction 2 Pay Per View

Suave: Well? We’re going to find out really quick what intentions Domination Inc. has. ‘PCW Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin is already in the ring with Tequila Sheila.

KATHRYN RANDALL COLLINS…aka KRC © (Domination Inc.) vs.
‘PCW Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ TESSA MARTIN w/Tequila Sheila (Joe SixPacks)
“Tessa’s still waiting. I don’t know what’s going- IT’S QUADRUPLE R WITH A CHAIR! *CLANG* HOLY CRAP! TESSA’S DOWN AND I DON’T THINK SHE’S GETTING UP! *CLANG* QUADRUPLE R JUST DRILLED TEQUILA SHEILA WITH THE CHAIR! AND HERE COMES KRC!” The crowd craps all over this. They are pissed. Debris starts flying into the ring. The PCW Women’s Champion turns Tessa over and sticks her foot on her chest. The referee reluctantly counts it. 1…2…3.


Suave: “THIS SUCKS! THIS IS SUCH A BULL CRAP ENDING! NO FREAKIN’ WAY…HOLD ON!” Joe SixPack hits the ring. Kevin Scott tackles Quad R and they start to brawl. ‘The Raving Rednecks’ Locke and Loade join in and triple team Quad R. Suave: “HOLY CRAP! REDNECK 4-D DEATH BLAST ON QUADRUPLE R! AND HERE COMES DOMINATION INC.!” Rough Justice…aka D.B. Ruff and Connor Justice- two former police officers fired for their over the top extreme style of justice, wade in with Daisy Cutter-Bomb, Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit. Ruff and Justice taser the hell out of Locke and Loade- they’re out. Big Oil and Walstreit lock up get into a wild brawl with Average Joe and the American Trucker- an old grudge match from a few months back. Joe the Plumber tries to help out but Daisy Cutter-Bomb kicks him in the balls. Suave: “Ah…poor Joe. DAISY CUTTER POWERBOMB! DAISY CUTTER POWERBOMB!” Daisy leaves Joe in a heap. Ruff and Justice duel with Kevin Scott. Justice gets the taser on Scott and takes him down. Suave: “HERE COMES DAVE THE MECHANIC!” Dave, still a bit winded from his TV Title match, wheels his battery charger down with him. He grabs the jumper cables and *ZZZZZAP* down goes Ruff. Justice lunges at him *ZZZZZAP* down goes Justice. Walstreit Stock Market Plunges American Trucker. Big Oil choke slams Average Joe. Suave: “HE’S GOT HIM! *WHAM* OKLAHOMA DRILLER! OKLAHOMA DRILLER!...” The crowd suddenly cheers. Suave: “HERE COMES PCW SECURITY DIRECTOR DAWN McGILL!”

McGill, with Singapore Cane in hand, runs up to Walstreit. *THWACK* *THWACK* Walstreit staggers into the steel guardrail. Big Oil rips the jumper cables away from Dave the Mechanic and choke slams him. Suave: “HOLY CRAP! Dave bounced up about six inches off the canvas!” Big Oil goes for the jumper cables, McGill plants her 4 inch stiletto heels in his groin. Big Oil to his knees. *THWACK* Big Oil topples over. Daisy Cutter-Bomb attacks McGill from behind and knocks the Singapore cane away. McGill instinctively whirls around with an open hand and smacks Daisy in the face. She stumbles all the way across the ring. McGill picks up the Singapore cane but gets blindsided by the PCW Women’s champion Kathryn Randall Collins. KRC drives McGill to the corner. McGill kick to the groin with her stilettos stops KRC in her tracks. She takes two steps back and turns around to see ‘PCW Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin standing there- with her oversized pizza box. *WHAP* Suave: “HELLO! and GOODNIGHT! TESSA COVERS KRC! SHE COUNTS OUT HER OWN PINFALL.” An angry Tessa yells at KRC. Then she takes the pizza box and Arabian Facebusters KRC for good measure.

Domination Inc. CEO Mr. McMann arrives on scene with Whiskey Tango Foxtrot. Suave: “Mr. McMann is not happy.” McMann surveys the devastation of his Corporate group. Suave: “How much do you want to bet they’ll be an emergency board meeting after this? It’s going to take a few minutes to clean this up. We’ll be right back after this commercial message.
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Suave: “Okay, we’re back. Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit are in the ring. Mr. McMann and Domination Inc. are still ringside. PCW Security Director Dawn McGill is still ringside. And the Schett Brothers are ready to go. It looks like we’re going to have a match.”

BIG OIL w/Texas Tex and KIRK WALSTREIT- Wall Street Market Analyst with Man Crush on ESPN’s Kirk Herbstreit © (Domination Inc.) vs.
JACK SCHETT and BULL SCHETT w/Horst Schett and Hans Gruber- the Extreme German Schnauzer (Progressive Alliance)

The bell rings. Big Oil takes one step forward and then climbs out of the ring. Big Oil, Walstreit, and the rest of Domination Inc walk back to the locker room. Again, the crowd craps all over it. Jack Schett stands in the ring with his arms outstretched. The referee starts to count Big Oil and Walstreit out. Suave: “They’re going back to the locker room. And of course, the title won’t change hands unless it’s a pin or submission so Big Oil and Walstreit will keep the belts. And PCW can’t say they no-showed because they were here. But the crowd is not happy.”

WINNER: JACK SCHETT and BULL SCHETT by count out. Big Oil and Walstreit retain PCW Tag Team Titles.

Suave: “PCW Title Match next. And just how ready is Kevin Scott going to be after getting tasered by Rough Justice? We’ll find out shortly.”

A group of Obama supporters are celebrating. “I’m just…so inspired! I want to make this country better!” The group agrees. “What a great day for America! We are all better people!” More agreement. “I’m ready for change. The old ways weren’t working! We need to all come together!” More agreement.

The back door opens. Former PCW CEO George W, and his father George H.W. leave Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon. “BOOOOOOOOO!” “NA-NA-NAAA-NAH NA-NA-NAAAA-NAH! HEY, HEY, HEY. GOODBYEEEEE!” A few throw empty beer cups towards W. Suave: “Hmmm…so much for ‘change.’”

W and H.W. get into their car and drive away. Suave: “There you have it. The former CEO of PCW, George W, has left the building.” O’Beck Bahama and Justin Sufferable walk towards the ring. Suave: “Kevin Scott is already in the ring and I’ve got to wonder if just 15 minutes or so after getting tasered by Rough Justice whether he can go or not.”

O’BECK BAHAMA w/ ‘Not Just Intolerable, not just unbearable, he is…’ Justin Sufferable (Progressive Alliance) vs.
KEVIN SCOTT (Joe SixPacks)
Scott leans back against the corner ringpost. Suave: “I don’t know…I don’t know if he can wrestle now.” The bell rings and Scott sprints from his corner catching Bahama by surprise. He takes out the legs and then works an arm bar. Bahama sticks his foot on the bottom rope and the ref breaks the hold. Scott gets up and tries to catch Bahama again. Bahama back body drops Scott right out of the ring onto the floor. Suave: “HOLY CRAP!” Scott lies there for 30 seconds before finally moving. Suave: “I’m sorry, they should stop this right now. He’s in no condition to wrestle.” The referee goes over to ask if he’s okay. Scott nods yes. He pulls himself back into the ring. Body slam by Bahama. Bahama backbreaker and that’s it. The referee calls for the bell.


Suave: “I give Kevin Scott credit for trying. But he didn’t belong in the ring tonight after getting tasered. Next week, we’re back with PCW Extreme Political TV. We’ll see you then.”



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