Friday, October 31, 2008

10/30- PCW Newsline: 5 days to Extreme Election Night 2008

10/30 Newsline
The card is set for PCW Extreme Election Night 2008:
*Mixed Tag Team Three-Way Dance: Bill O’Reilly and ? from Fox News vs. MSNBC’s Keith Olbermann and ? vs. CNN’s Lou Dobb’s and ?
*Minnesota Street Brawl: Al Franken (Progressive Alliance) vs. Norm Coleman (American Patriots)
*Carolina Cat Fight: Elizabeth Dole (American Patriots) vs. Kay Hagan (Progressive Alliance)New Hampshire Intergender Match: Jeanne Shaheen (Progressive Alliance) vs. John Sununu (American Patriots)
*PCW Television Title Match: FUBAR © (Independent) vs. ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido (Progressive Alliance)
*PCW Tag Team Title Match: Jack and Bull Schett © w/Horst Schett and Hans Gruber- the Extreme German Schnauzer (Progressive Alliance) vs. Big Oil w/Texas Tex and Kirk Walstreit- the man with the man crush on ESPN’s Kirk Herbstreit (McMann Corp)
*PCW Women’s Title Match: ‘The Empress Queen of All Media’ Opal Winfree © w/Opal’s Flock- New Age Sensitive Guy and Soccer Mom (Progressive Alliance) vs. Kathryn Randall Collins aka KRC (McMann Corp)
*PCW Title Match: ‘The Original Rookie Sensation’ Starz N. Stripes © w/John McCain (American Patriots) vs. ‘The New Rookie Sensation’ O’Beck Bahama w/Barack Obama (Progressive Alliance)
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And PCW Owner Bubba Jackson will announce who will be the next CEO of PCW. Will it be 'The Natural' Barack Obama (Progressive Alliance)? Or will it be 'Straight Shootin'' John McCain (American Patriots)?
-PCW announced that there will be a ninth match at Extreme Election Night 2008 billed as a 'special attraction.' PCW is not giving out any more information on the match.
-'The 6 Foot Tall Demolition Machine in a Short Skirt' Dawn McGill suffered a sprained neck on PCW Extreme Political TV Tuesday night when the McMann Corporation's Kirk Walstreit- the Man with the Mancrush on ESPN's Kirk Herbstreit, Stock Market Plunged her into the canvas. McGill should only be out of action for a couple weeks.
-Also dinged up in the attack were the Raving Rednecks Locke and Loade. They report minor scrapes and bruising.
-Five days to go before Extreme Election Night. PCW will have daily updates and run down the matches leading up to Tuesday.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

10/28- PCW Extreme Political TV: Sorry guys, no Sarah Palin in Handcuffs This Week...WTF...Hugo Chavez

Last week on PCW:
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- PCW CEO George W decrees that after both O’Beck Bahama (Progressive Alliance) and PCW Champion Starz N. Stripes (American Patriots) were attacked on successive episodes of PCW Extreme Political TV that both men must stay away from all PCW venues until Extreme Election Night 2008.
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- PCW Television Champion FUBAR defeats Jimmy from So Cal- the Jim Rome Clone wannabe. After the match ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido again challenges FUBAR to a match- without the help of FUBAR’s therapist Dr. Bill.
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- Barack Obama (Progressive Alliance) and John McCain (American Patriots) interview for the final time with PCW Owner Bubba Jackson for the PCW CEO position. Obama brings in Caroline Kennedy, neo-con policy hawk Kenneth Adelman, and former Secretary of State Colin Powell as references. McCain brings in- Joe the Plumber.
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- Alec Baldwin and Tina Fey kidnap ‘The Alaskan Pitbull’ Sarah Palin and leave her handcuffed and gagged in a closet.
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- In a preview of the New Hampshire Intergender match at PCW Extreme Election Night 2008, Jeanne Shaheen (Progressive Alliance) pins John Sununu (American Patriots) after Tina Fey, masquerading as Palin, nails Sununu with a hockey stick.
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- Joe Biden can’t stop talking…or putting his foot in his mouth…and talking…
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- Big Oil w/Texas Tex and Kirk Walstreit- the Man with the Mancrush on ESPN’s Kirk Herbstreit (McMann Corporation), destroy A. Tom Bomb and Hy Drogen Bomb (American Patriots) when Daisy Cutter-Bomb, the Bomb Brother’s little sister, whacks A-Bomb in the forehead with a Singapore cane. Big Oil and Walstreit are now the #1 contenders for the PCW Tag Team belts.

PCW EXTREME POLITICAL TV- October 28th from the old National Guard Armory, Bowling Green, Ohio
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PCW OVERVIEW (for the uninitiated)
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HOST: Johnny Suave

The crowd chants PCW…PCW.

Johnny Suave: “Good evening. This is the go home show to take us to next week’s PCW Extreme Election Night 2008! Tonight will be shortened because we are replaying BCEW Extreme Election Night 2006. But first, let’s get to the action.”

MATCH #1 ‘No Frills’ CHRIS ESCONDIDO (Progressive Alliance) vs. SNAFU (Jobber)
Suave:
“Escondido is in the best shape of his life! It looks like he’s fully recovered from the serious knee injury he suffered a year and a half ago.” The bell rings and Escondido charges at SNAFU. He hits a backdrop on SNAFU. Dropkick follows. SNAFU tries to get out of the ring but Escondido pulls him right back in. Escondido snaps SNAFU’s head back with a big spinning heel kick. SNAFU face down on the mat. Escondido cinches in the ankle lock and SNAFU quickly taps out.

WINNER: ‘No Frills’ CHRIS ESCONDIDO

Escondido walks to the back with an intense looking expression on his face.

Suave: “Escondido not messing around. He looks like he’s dead set on regaining the PCW Television Title from FUBAR.”

HUGO CHAVEZ PROMO
Suave:
“Oh, great. It’s the dictator…I mean…the President of Venezuela. What the hell does he want?” The crowd boos as Chavez takes the mic. Chavez: “Yankee imperialist scum! Country of Venezuela needs oil prices to be $97 per barrel in order for our economy to run. Today, it is near $60.” PCW Crowd: “Two dollar gas! (clap, clap clap-clap-clap) Two dollar gas! (clap, clap clap-clap-clap)” Chavez: “You weak and worthless Americans complain about paying $4 per gallon of gas." PCW Crowd: “Two dollar gas! (clap, clap clap-clap-clap) Two dollar gas! (clap, clap clap-clap-clap) Chavez: America is rich country. You should be able to pay-” PCW Crowd: “Two dollar gas! (clap, clap clap-clap-clap) Two dollar gas! (clap, clap clap-clap-clap)” Chavez: “SHUT UP!” PCW Crowd: “Two dollar gas! (clap, clap clap-clap-clap) Two dollar gas! (clap, clap clap-clap-clap) Chavez: "JUST SHUT UP...SHUT UP...SHUT-"

*Def Leppard’s Rock, Rock Til You Drop blares over the loudspeaker*

The crowd cheers loudly. Suave: “YES! IT’S TIME FOR THE EXTREME EQUALIZER….WHISKEY…TANGO…FOXTROT!” Crowd: “WHAT THE @#$#!...WHAT THE @#$#!” Chavez doesn’t quite understand what’s going on. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot runs in and grabs him by the throat. Chavez: “Help! Get this Yankee oppressor off-ULP!” Lift up. Chokeslam. Crowd: “PCW…PCW…PCW…” Suave: “Thank you.”

Suave then switches gears to the end of last week’s PCW Extreme Political TV. Suave: “Last week, the McMann Corporation announced that they had added two more members to their stable- Rough Justice. Rough Justice is D.B. Ruff and Connor Justice- two former police officers who lost their jobs because of their rough and sometimes over the line style of law enforcement. Rough Justice immediately made their presence felt…”

REPLAY FROM LAST WEEK’S PCW EXTREME POLITICAL TV
PCW TAG TEAM TITLE #1 CONTENDERS MATCH: A. TOM BOMB and HY DROGEN BOMB w/Newt Tron Bomb and the ‘6 foot tall demolition machine in a short skirt’ Dawn McGill (American Patriots) vs. BIG OIL w/ Texas Tex and KIRK WALSTREIT- the man with the man crush on ESPN’s Kirk Herbstreit w/Daisy Cutter-Bomb, Quadruple R, D.B. Ruff, Connor Justice, CEO Mr. McMann, and CFO Gordon Guyko (McMann Corp)
Suave: “Here we go. This one should be a doozy. The winner gets a shot at the PCW Tag Team belts in two weeks.” Suave also notes that it’s weird to see Daisy Cutter-Bomb in the opposite corner of her brothers A-Bomb, H-Bomb, and N-Bomb. The bell rings. A-Bomb and Big Oil lock up. Suave: “Hold on! Quadruple R in the ring…*WHAP* HOLY CRAP! That was a sickening chairshot on A-Bomb. H-Bomb’s in the ring…Ruff and Justice are in the ring. Newt Tron Bomb is in the ring. IT’S CHAOS!” Big Oil plants A-Bomb with an Oklahoma Driller. Suave: “HOLY CRAP! And now, Ruff has a taser…HE JUST TASERED H-BOMB! DAWN McGILL IS LYING ON THE FLOOR OUTSIDE THE RING. SHE’S BEEN ASSAULTED BY DAISY CUTTER-BOMB! WALSTREIT GIVES H-BOMB THE STOCK MARKET PLUNGE! THIS IS CARNAGE!” Big Oil drags A-Bomb up and Daisy climbs into the ring with a Singapore cane. Suave: “WAIT A MINUTE! DAISY’S NOT GOING TO…NOT TO HER OWN BROTHER…*THWACK* CANE SHOT! CANE SHOT! A-BOMB IS BLEEDING PROFUSELY!” Big Oil throws A-Bomb down and gets the easy cover. 1…2…3.

McMANN CORPORATION PROMO
‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann, CFO Gordon Guyko, Corporate Spokesman Bradley Scott Wilson Esq, Rough Justice, and Daisy Cutter-Bomb are in the ring. Big Oil, Kirk Walstreit, Kathryn Randall Collins, and Quadruple R stand outside the ring. The crowd boos them loudly. Wilson: “I have a press release the McMann Corporation would like me to read to you. Last week, McMann Corporation reached its goal of putting two teams in for title matches next week at PCW Extreme Election Night. With the help of recent acquisitions Daisy Cutter-Bomb and Rough Justice, McMann Corporation a huge step forward towards our ultimate goal- the complete and total domination of PCW!” Mr. McMann takes the mic. McMann: “Johnny Suave! Monday you said on the PCW Newsline that…and I quote…‘ The McMann Corporation consists of a volatile and combustible mix of personalities held together for the moment by the money that Mr. McMann and his business partner Gordon Guyko are throwing at them.’ Suave, you couldn’t be further from the truth. You see, despite their past differences, Big Oil and Quadruple R are both big picture guys. If the Corporation succeeds, unlimited opportunities will open up for both of them. I am creating synergy here…synergy that will lead the McMann Corporation to the- OOOF!”

Suave: “HOLY CRAP! IT’S THE RAVING REDNECKS LOCKE AND LOADE AND THE SIX FOOT DEMOLITION MACHINE IN A SHORT SKIRT DAWN McGILL!” McMann is pushed to the ground. Locke and Loade open up on Rough Justice. McGill clotheslines Daisy and hits a neckbreaker. Suave: “The American Patriots want a little retribution for what happened last week….OH! Big Oil just choke slammed Locke.” Quadruple R clips Loade’s knee and calls for a chair. KRC throws it in and Quadruple R whacks away at Loade. McGill tries to help but Walstreit grabs her from behind. Suave: “No…no…STOCK MARKET PLUNGE! STOCK MARKET PLUNGE!” Walstreit leaves McGill in a crumpled heap. Big Oil lifts Locke and nails an Oklahoma Driller. Locke’s out. Quadruple R sets up a table in the ring. Big Oil climbs the top turnbuckle. Suave: “Oh, no……oh, no, no, no.” Walstreit and Quadruple R lift Loade up to Big Oil. Suave: “No… HOLY CRAP! OKLAHOMA DRILLER FROM THE TOP ROPE THROUGH A TABLE!” Loade lies within the pieces of what’s left of the table. McMann and the Corporation leave the wreckage behind and head to the back.

Nurse Nellie and the PCW Clean up Crew come out to attend to Locke, Loade, and McGill.

INTERVIEW WITH FORMER PCW CHAMPION JUSTIN SUFFERABLE
While Nurse Nellie and the clean up crew work, Suave talks with former PCW Champion Justin Sufferable. Sufferable is the longest titleholder in PCW history, holding the PCW title for over fourteen months. Suave asks about the knee. Sufferable says it feels pretty good and that he’s been working out with ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido. He had major reconstructive surgery on his knee in January after it gave out in a match against Starz N. Stripes. Sufferable: “I’ll never step foot in the ring as an active wrestler ever again, but I should be able to do other things.” Suave recounts Sufferable’s long chase to the title and notes that tonight is the two year anniversary of him winning the then BCEW title at Extreme Election Night 2006. Sufferable: “That brings back fond memories. I was fighting with Triple R (now Quadruple R) that fall over the #1 slot in the Progressive Alliance. I’ll never forget the look on his face after he accidently knocked out Escondido with the chair which allowed me to pin him and win the title.”

Suave notes that it was just two months later that both him and Escondido were severely injured at the hands of ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann at the outset of the BCEW-EECW War. Sufferable: “Don’t think that I haven’t forgotten my good friend, Mr. McMann. One of these days, and I won’t tell you when, he’ll get his. Count on it.” Sufferable hypes the Extreme Election Night 2006 replay coming up after PCW Extreme Political TV.

McMANN CORPORATE SUITE
‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann slams open the door and marches in. Gordon Guyko, Bradley Scott Wilson Esq, Rough Justice, Daisy Cutter-Bomb, Big Oil, KRC, Quadruple R, and Kirk Walsteit follow. D.B. Ruff of Rough Justice tries to apologize; McMann waves him away. McMann confers with Guyko and Wilson. McMann: “It’s not anyone’s fault. I should have anticipated something like this could happen.” Guyko: “Maybe we need to get you a full-time bodyguard.” McMann’s eyes light up. McMann: “You’re right. And I know just the person who’ll fit the bill. But it’s going to take some…prodding, you know.” Guyko smiles and pulls out a wad of cash. Guyko: “I know. Greed is good. Greed is really, really good.”

PCW TV Champion FUBAR comes to the ring. He walks several steps ahead of his life coach Dr. Bill. Suave: “FUBAR doesn’t look too happy. Let’s go back to last week to see why.”

VIDEO- LAST WEEK’S PCW EXTREME POLITICAL TV
FUBAR sets the Jim Rome Clone Wannabe Jimmy from So Cal up for his FUBAR Arm Bar to finish him off. Out of nowhere, FUBAR’s Life Coach Dr. Bill whaps Jimmy over the head and knocks him out. FUBAR stares at Dr. Bill in disbelief and then pins Jimmy from So Cal.

FUBAR: “Why’d you do that?” Dr. Bill: “Do what?” FUBAR: “Hit him with the clipboard. I could have won the match by myself.” Dr. Bill: “Shut up! If it weren’t for me and my sage-like advice guiding you, you’d still be a nobody- a jobber, talent enhancement. So keep you mouth shut and do what I say.” FUBAR shakes his head and leaves.

MATCH #2 PCW TELEVISION TITLE MATCH: FUBAR w/Life Coach Dr. Bill © (Independent) vs. RICHARD HEADD of Guys with Unfortunate First Names Given Their Surname (Jobber)
The bell rings and they lock up. FUBAR immediately takes control and backs Headd into the corner. Headd tries to fight back but FUBAR reverses a whip and heaves Headd into the ropes. Jumping front kick levels Headd. FUBAR covers- 2 count and Headd kicks out. Headd staggers up and eats a Yakuza kick. FUBAR covers again for 2. FUBAR locks in a chinlock. Whip into the corner. FUBAR misses the Stinger splash. Headd on offense. Dropkick followed by lefts and rights. Spinning forearm. Headd goes up top. Missile dropkick misses badly. FUBAR goes for the submission FUBAR Arm Bar. Behind him, Dr. Bill climbs in and whaps Headd in the head with his clipboard. FUBAR can’t believe it. He reluctantly covers and gets the pin.

WINNER AND STILL PCW TELEVISION CHAMPION: FUBAR

Suave: “Well, FUBAR gets the win but again, he don’t look very happy with Dr. Bill.” ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido walks out with a mic. Escondido: “FUBAR, here we are again-” FUBAR: “SHUT UP!” Suave: “Whoa! I’ve never seen FUBAR this worked up before.” FUBAR: “For the past few weeks, you’ve come out here and said that I can’t beat you without Dr. Bill. You want a match with just me…you’ve got it. Next week at PCW Extreme Election Night 2008!” Suave: “HOLY CRAP! FUBAR takes the challenge and Dr. Bill is pissed.” Dr. Bill gets in FUBAR’s grill. FUBAR turns and just walks away with Dr. Bill following, and yapping, behind him.

Suave: “IT’LL BE FUBAR VS. ‘NO FRILLS’ CHRIS ESCONDIDO FOR THE PCW TELEVISION NEXT WEEK! LET’S RUN DOWN THE REST OF THE CARD FOR PCW EXTREME ELECTION NIGHT 2008…”
*
Mixed Tag Team Three-Way Dance: Bill O’Reilly and ? from Fox News vs. MSNBC’s Keith Olbermann and ? vs. CNN’s Lou Dobb’s and ?
*
Minnesota Street Brawl: Al Franken (Progressive Alliance) vs. Norm Coleman (American Patriots)
*
Carolina Cat Fight: Elizabeth Dole (American Patriots) vs. Kay Hagan (Progressive Alliance)
New Hampshire Intergender Match: Jeanne Shaheen (Progressive Alliance) vs. John Sununu (American Patriots)
*
PCW Television Title Match: FUBAR © (Independent) vs. ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido (Progressive Alliance)
*
PCW Tag Team Title Match: Jack and Bull Schett © w/Horst Schett and Hans Gruber- the Extreme German Schnauzer (Progressive Alliance) vs. Big Oil w/Texas Tex and Kirk Walstreit- the man with the man crush on ESPN’s Kirk Herbstreit (McMann Corp)
*
PCW Women’s Title Match: ‘The Empress Queen of All Media’ Opal Winfree © w/Opal’s Flock- New Age Sensitive Guy and Soccer Mom (Progressive Alliance) vs. Kathryn Randall Collins aka KRC (McMann Corp)
*
PCW Title Match: ‘The Original Rookie Sensation’ Starz N. Stripes © w/John McCain (American Patriots) vs. ‘The New Rookie Sensation’ O’Beck Bahama w/Barack Obama (Progressive Alliance)
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Suave: “WE WILL SEE YOU NEXT WEEK, LIVE FROM HACK’S RUSTY NAIL SALOON IN WESTVILLE, OHIO FOR PCW EXTREME ELECTION NIGHT 2008! ENJOY OUR REPLAY OF BCEW EXTREME ELECTION NIGHT 2006!”
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BCEW EXTREME ELECTION NIGHT 2006
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PCW at Wordpress
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Prairie Depot Press- Home of Loose Cannons and Other Weapons of Mass Political Destruction
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Sunday, October 26, 2008

10/27- PCW Newsline

10/27- PCW Newsline:

-‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann and his McMann Corporation struck once again last week on PCW Extreme Political TV as new acquisitions Daisy Cutter-Bomb and Rough Justice (2 former police officers fired because of the rough and sometimes over the line attitude about law enforcement) helped Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit defeat A. Tom Bomb and Hy Drogen Bomb of the American Patriots to become the new #1 contenders for the PCW Tag Team Title. As a result of the carnage left behind by McMann’s Corporation, H-Bomb spent the night in the hospital after D.B. Ruff of Rough Justice tasered him. A-Bomb needed 23 stitches to close a gaping cut in his forehead caused when his sister, Daisy Cutter-Bomb, drilled him with a Singapore cane. At a time where the Progressive Alliance is gearing for a huge victory next week at PCW Extreme Election Night 2008, could the McMann Corporation throw a wrench in their celebration?

-Johnny Suave, the voice of PCW, discusses the McMann Corporation: “The McMann Corporation consists of a volatile and combustile mix of personalities held together for the moment by the money that Mr. McMann and his business partner Gordon Guyko are throwing at them. Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit are in a bind right now. Gas prices have dropped dramatically in the past 6 weeks leaving Big Oil in a weakened position. And Walstreit? If things don’t turn around on Wall Street soon, he may have to sell his prized picture of ESPN’s Kirk Herbstreit just to make ends meet. The wild card of this group is Randy ‘Road Rage’ Richardson aka Quadruple R. Quadruple R doesn’t like Big Oil; Big Oil doesn’t like Quadruple R. I go back to earlier in the year when Rush Limbaugh put together the Chaotic Alliance of Convenience to stop Barack Obama and how quickly that blew up because of Big Oil and Quad R’s intense dislike for each other.

“Let’s be clear here, both Big Oil and Quadruple R want the PCW title. It looks like Big Oil will settle for a piece of the tag team belt for the moment. But at some point, he wants the title. And even if Quadruple R holds the belt, all the money in the world won’t stop Big Oil from trying to take it away from him. Stay tuned, folks. This is going to be interesting.”

-The job interviews are done and now we wait. In 8 days at PCW Extreme Election Night 2008, PCW Owner Bubba Jackson announces the new PCW CEO to replace George W. Will it be Barack Obama of the Progressive Alliance? Or will John McCain from the American Patriots be the one? We’ll find out next week.

The card for PCW Extreme Election Night 2008 November 4th so far:

Mixed Tag Team Three-Way Dance: Bill O’Reilly and ? from Fox News vs. MSNBC’s Keith Olbermann and ? vs. CNN’s Lou Dobb’s and ?
*
Minnesota Street Brawl: Al Franken (Progressive Alliance) vs. Norm Coleman (American Patriots)
*
Carolina Cat Fight: Elizabeth Dole (American Patriots) vs. Kay Hagan (Progressive Alliance)
*
New Hampshire Intergender Match: Jeanne Shaheen (Progressive Alliance) vs. John Sununu (American Patriots)
*
PCW Tag Team Title Match: Jack and Bull Schett © w/Horst Schett and Hans Gruber- the Extreme German Schnauzer (Progressive Alliance) vs. Big Oil w/Texas Tex and Kirk Walstreit- the man with the man crush on ESPN’s Kirk Herbstreit (McMann Corp)
*
PCW Women’s Title Match: ‘The Empress Queen of All Media’ Opal Winfree © w/Opal’s Flock- New Age Sensitive Guy and Soccer Mom (Progressive Alliance) vs. Kathryn Randall Collins aka KRC (McMann Corp)
*
PCW Title Match: ‘The Original Rookie Sensation’ Starz N. Stripes © w/John McCain (American Patriots) vs. ‘The New Rookie Sensation’ O’Beck Bahama w/Barack Obama (Progressive Alliance)


This week on PCW Extreme Political TV:
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-‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido in action
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- Johnny Suave talks with former PCW Champion ‘Not Just Intolerable. Not Just Unbearable. He is…Justin Sufferable.
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- PCW Television Champion FUBAR defends the title
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- Replay of BCEW Extreme Election Night 2006

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

10/21- PCW Extreme Political TV: Sarah Palin in Handcuffs......really, there's nothing much else to say

Last week on PCW:
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-FUBAR successfully defended the PCW Television title against ‘The Luchador with the Insanely Foul Breath’ Halitosis. After the match, ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido (Progressive Alliance) told FUBAR that he couldn’t beat him without Dr. Bill’s help.
*
-John McCain and Barack Obama had their second job interview with PCW Owner Bubba Jackson for the PCW CEO position. Obama complained about the various attacks by McCain over the past week and told his opponent that all he has to offer is cheap personal attacks. McCain shot back that Obama offers only empty, pie in the sky rhetoric with no substance.
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-Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit from McMann’s Corporation guarantee that they will become the new PCW Tag Team champions at PCW Extreme Election Night 2008. The current champions, Jack and Bull Schett (Progressive Alliance), beg to differ. The Schett’s Extreme German Schnauzer, Hans Gruber, chase Big Oil and Walstreit from the ring.
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-Kay Hagan (Progressive Alliance) upset Elizabeth Dole (American Patriots) in a preview of the Carolina Catfight coming up at PCW Extreme Election Night 2008.
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-Bill and Hillary Clinton signify that they are on board with Barack Obama by laying out the PCW Champion Starz N. Stripes
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-Keith Olbermann delivered his special, special comment and then gets chokeslammed…again…by the Extreme Equalizer, Whiskey Tango Foxtrot.
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-Kathryn Randall Collins (McMann Corp.) defeated ‘PCW Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin (3 Amigas) in a #1 Contenders Match for the PCW Women’s title when Daisy Cutter-Bomb turned on her 3 Amigas teammate and Daisy Cutter Power-bombed her twice.

PCW EXTREME POLITICAL TV- October 21st from Angola, Indiana
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PCW OVERVIEW (for the uninitiated)
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HOST: Johnny Suave

The crowd chants PCW…PCW.

Johnny Suave:
“Good evening everyone and welcome to PCW! We are still buzzing about what took place last week on PCW Extreme Political TV. Let’s take a look again at the end of the Kathryn Randall Collins/Tessa Martin match.”

REPLAY- #1 CONTENDER’S MATCH FOR THE PCW WOMEN’S TITLE: ‘PCW Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ TESSA MARTIN w/Daisy Cutter-Bomb and Tequila Sheila (3 Amigas) vs. KATHRYN RANDALL COLLINS…aka KRC w/Mr. McMann, Big Oil, Kirk Walstreit, Quadruple R, and Gordon Guyko (McMann’s Corporation)
Suave:
“Quadruple R, Big Oil, and Kirk Walstreit of the McMann Corporation had just interfered in the match causing Average Joe and the American Trucker to intervene.

Daisy Cutter-Bomb pulls KRC off Tessa and whips her into the other corner. Big Oil corners Daisy. Daisy slides between his legs and makes it back to the other corner. American Trucker kicks Big Oil in the balls and then DDT’s Kirk Walstreit. Tessa stumbles back to the other side of the ring. Big Oil grabs American Trucker from behind and chokeslams him.
*
KRC advances on Tessa. Tessa calls for her oversized pizza box. Daisy Cutter-Bomb climbs out and grabs the box. KRC gets closer. Tessa again calls for the box. Daisy climbs up on the apron, raises the box, and then blasts Tessa in the face with it. Suave: “HOLY CRAP! SHE…SHE…I DON’T BELIEVE IT. DAISY CUTTER-BOMB JUST DOUBLECROSSED THE PCW EXTREME PIZZA DELIVERY GIRL!” Daisy climbs in the ring and gives Tessa a Daisy Cutter Power-bomb. The PCW Arena crowd can’t believe it. Johnny Suave can’t believe it. KRC sticks her foot on Tessa’s chest and that’s all. Suave: “NO! NO! THIS CAN’T BE HAPPENING!” Tequila Sheila confronts Daisy. Daisy gives her a Daisy Cutter Power-bomb. She then drags an unconscious Tessa back up. Suave: “NO! THAT’S ENOUGH!” Daisy hits a second Daisy Cutter Power-bomb with enough force that Tessa’s body bounces several inches up off the canvas. The crowd starts to throw debris in the ring. Mr. McMann shakes Daisy’s hand. Suave: “THIS IS WRONG! DAISY CUTTER-BOMB TURNS ON TESSA MARTIN. KATHRYN RANDALL COLLINS IS THE NEW #1 CONTENDER FOR THE PCW WOMEN’S TITLE.


An off-key mariachi band comes out playing their usual hideous version of “Hail to the Chief.” Suave: “And now, it looks like the PCW CEO, George W, is coming out to make an announcement.” George W, Dick, his aide de camp, and an unknown man dressed in a suit with a briefcase follow the mariachi band up the aisle. They reach about halfway when the band suddenly stops playing. Suave: “Hmmm, I wonder what’s going on?” The man in the suit opens the briefcase, leans over Dick who has apparently collapsed, sticks 2 paddles to his chest. Man in suit: “CLEAR!” Then the automatic defibrillator then shocks Dick’s heart back to normal rhythm. Dick gets back up and the mariachi band starts back up. They band hits a particularly bad note.

Suave: “You know, I wish they’d do that to the mariachi band.”

PCW CEO GEORGE W’S SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT
W notes that even though Barack Obama has been in his office measuring the drapes, he’s still the PCW CEO until January 20th. W says he saw what’s transpired the last two weeks with both O’Beck Bahama and Starz N. Stripes. George W.: “I’ve talked things over with the PCW Competition Committee. Nancy Pelosi, Steny Hoyer, and Harry Reid from the Progressive Alliance. John Boehner and Mitch McConnell of the American Patriots. We’ve all come together in agreement to proclaim that…” *THUMP* Man in suit: “CLEAR!” *ZZZZAP* Man in suit: “He’s okay!” George W.: “Dammit, Dick. Can’t you see I’m proc-clamating?” Dick: “Sorry, my bad.” George W.: “Now, as I was saying. We have decided that in the best interest of both Starz N. Stripes and O’Beck Bahama and to protect the main event up of our upcoming pay per view show, that both men will not be permitted to enter any PCW venue until Extreme Election Night 2008, two weeks away. Both the Obama and McCain camps have been put on notice that any more attacks, like the ones we’ve watched the past two weeks, will not be tolerated.”

MSNBC’s Keith Olbermann comes out and doesn’t look happy. Olbermann: “George W. You are the WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD!” George W.: “What the hell did I do?” Olbermann: “Two weeks in a row, that maniac Whiskey Tango Foxtrot has viciously chokeslammed me and you’ve done nothing to stop it.” Man’s voice: “Oh, poor baby!” Suave: “IT’S FOX NEWS’ BILL O’REILLY!” O’Reilly: “Olbermann, you are such a typical liberal whiner. You can dish it out but you sure can’t take it.” Olbermann begins to respond but he’s interrupted by another visitor. Suave: “HOLY CRAP! NOW CNN’S LOU DOBBS IS OUT HERE!” Dobbs: “Let’s be clear here. You’re both completely full of s***. Jobs are going overseas. The economy is-” *THUMP* Man in suit: “CLEAR!” *ZZZZAP* Dobbs: “As I was saying, the economy is tanking. The housing market is a shambles. People are losing their jobs, their houses, and the best you two both can do is hurl fourth grade insults at each other?” George W. steps in. George W: “Since I’m still in charge here, I’ll settle this issue once and for all. You three will meet in two weeks at PCW Extreme Election Night 2008 in a mixed tag three-way dance.” W adds that he will make sure the Extreme Equalizer Whiskey Tango Foxtrot leaves Olbermann alone…at least until Extreme Election Night.

Suave: “So, another match signed for PCW Extreme Election Night 2008. A mixed tag three way dance between CNN’s Lou Dobbs, MSNBC’s Keith Olbermann, Fox News’s Bill O’Reilly, and their tag team partners!”

McMANN CORPORATION SUITE
An agitated Randy ‘Road Rage’ Richards aka Quadruple R storms into 'Sports Entertainment Genius' Mr. McMann’s executive office. Quad R: “This is bulls***! *I* should be wrestling for the PCW Title in 2 weeks!” Mr. McMann: “All in good time, Quadruple R. All in good time.” Quad R: “Bulls***! We should be taking out that pretender O’Beck Bahama and the one who has MY PCW title belt- Starz N. Stripes. This waiting around bulls*** doesn’t cut it! We need to-” Mr. McMann stands up. Mr. McMann: “You will do NOTHING without my permission. I pay your salary now and you will do exactly as I say. The time will come soon enough to attack and you will soon become the PCW champion. Until then, you will wait.” Quadruple R shakes in anger and flips a table over. He stomps out.

Suave: “I’m telling you. Quadruple R is a ticking time bomb and it’s just a matter of time before he explodes!”

MATCH #1 PCW TELEVISION TITLE MATCH: FUBAR © w/Dr. Bill (Independent) vs. JIMMY FROM SO CAL (Jobber/Talent Enhancement)
Suave:
“FUBAR has been a fighting champion, no doubt about it. Here he is again against the Epic Jimmy from So Cal- the Jim Rome Clone wannabe.” Dr. Bill gives FUBAR last minute instructions. The bell rings and immediately FUBAR drop toe holds Jimmy. FUBAR turns a head scissors into a side back breaker. Elbow drops by FUBAR follow and a cover. 2 count. FUBAR slams Jimmy into the corner. Whip and a boot leaves Jimmy in la la land. Rights by FUBAR, springboard into the seated senton and then a double stomp off of the top rope. FUBAR sets him up for the FUBAR Armbar. But Dr. Bill sneaks in from behind and whaps Jimmy over the head with his clipboard. FUBAR looks at Dr. Bill in disbelief and finally sticks his boot on Jimmy’s chest. 1…2…3.

WINNER AND STILL PCW TELEVISION CHAMPION: FUBAR

Suave: “Jimmy from So Cal does not get racked! He gets run! An impressive victory for the PCW Television champion.”

Post match, ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido (Progressive Alliance) again comes out. Escondido: “FUBAR. I’m waiting. I’m waiting for my shot at the PCW Television title. When are you going to give it to me?” Dr. Bill angrily grabs the mic. Dr. Bill: “Let me tell you something Mr. Escondido. You’re wasting your time because there’s no way in hell you’re getting a shot at the PCW Television anytime soon.” Escondido shoots back that FUBAR knows that there’s no way he can beat him without Dr. Bill’s help. Escondido: “You know it, FUBAR. You know it’s true. You can’t beat me by yourself.” Escondido throws down the mic and leaves.

FUBAR looks a little annoyed with Dr. Bill. FUBAR: “Why’d you do that?” Dr. Bill: “Do what?” FUBAR: “Hit him with the clipboard. I could have won the match by myself.” Dr. Bill: “Shut up! If it weren’t for me and my sage-like advice guiding you, you’d still be a nobody- a jobber, talent enhancement. So keep you mouth shut and do what I say.” FUBAR shakes his head and leaves.

OBAMA-McCAIN THIRD INTERVIEW FOR PCW CEO
The final interview with PCW Owner Bubba Jackson to determine the next PCW CEO.

Bubba: “Gentlemen, we are now at the step where you give me your references who will vouch for your qualifications and qualities that support your assertion that you should be the next PCW CEO.

Barack Obama notes Caroline Kennedy, neo con foreign policy hawk and conservative Kenneth Adelman, and former Secretary of State Colin Powell.

Bubba: “Impressive. Mr. McCain.”

John McCain brings out…Joe the Plumber.

Bubba: “Okay. I think I’ve seen everything I need to see.”

BACKSTAGE
‘The Alaskan Pitbull’ Sarah Palin walks down the hallway towards the ring dressed in a short black dress with thigh high black boots. Alec Baldwin pops out of a side room and surprises her. Alec: “Sarah. Long time no see.” Sarah: “Alec? What are you doing here?” Alec: “I just wanted to say that you were great on Saturday Night Live the other night.” Sarah: “Thanks. I have a great time.” Alec: “And I’ve got to say again, you are so much hotter in person.” Sarah: “Thanks again, Alec. I need to go to the ring for the-” Alec: “Look, can I talk to you for a sec.” Sarah: “Well…I really need to get the ring.” Alec: “It won’t take that long, I promise.” Sarah: “Oh...all right, I guess.” Sarah and Alec go into the room. The door slams and there’s a commotion inside.

Suave: “Okay, that was odd. I wonder what’s going on.

MATCH #2 PREVIEW OF NEW HAMPSHIRE INTERGENDER MATCH: JOHN SUNUNU w/John McCain and Sarah Palin (American Patriots) vs. JEANNE SHAHEEN w/Barack Obama and Joe Biden (Progressive Alliance)
Suave:
“Sununu has a decided weight and strength advantage over Shaheen.” Sarah Palin is late coming out. She joins McCain in Sununu’s corner. The bell rings. Clothesline by Sununu. Shaheen gets back up and Sununu clotheslines her again. He covers but Shaheen slips out at 2. Snap mare to Shaheen. Sununu whips her to the corner. He charges but Shaheen sidesteps him and he hits the corner turnbuckle hard. Sununu grabs her and tosses her to the floor. McCain stands back. Palin takes what appears to be a couple of half hearted shots at Shaheen and tosses her back in. Sununu covers but again, Shaheen slips out after 2. Seated abdominal stretch by Sununu. Obama in the ring and breaks the hold. Shaheen backs into the corner and Palin again takes a couple of soft shots at her. Obama steps towards the Alaskan Pitbull and Palin jumps off the ring apron.

Sununu hits a back breaker and covers. 1…2…. Biden in and breaks up the count. McCain in the ring now and he argues with Biden. Shaheen tries a handspring elbow but Sununu catches her in mid flight and puts her in a full nelson. To the corner, Sununu tells Palin to nail Shaheen with the hockey stick. Palin winds up and she swings. *THWACK* Suave: “HOLY CRAP! SHE JUST TOOK OUT JOHN SUNUNU!” Sununu crumples to the mat. Shaheen covers. 1…2…3.

WINNER: JEANNE SHAHEEN

Suave: “UNBELIEVABLE! SARAH PALIN HIT SUNUNU WITH A HOCKEY STICK AND COST HIM THE MATCH! JOHN McCAIN IS LIVID!” McCain shoots daggers towards Palin. Sarah: “I’m sorry…I’m sorry.” McCain takes her by the hand and storms away. Palin turns around at Suave and winks. Suave: “Wait a minute. There’s something going on here.”

BACKSTAGE
Inside a closet is the real Sarah Palin. Her hands are handcuffed above her head over a metal bar and she’s gagged. Suave: “I knew it! That wasn’t the real Sarah Palin. That was Tina Fey!”

GEORGE W’S OFFICE
George W and Dick watch the perils of Sarah Palin on TV. Dick’s eyes suddenly widen, he clutches his chest, and then keels over onto the floor. Man in the suit: “CLEAR!” *ZZZZAP* George W: “Dick, maybe you should go to the hospital.”

A technician is talking to Suave and has no idea that they’re gone back live. Suave: “No. We’re not going to replay the bit about Sarah Palin being handcuffed in a closet.” The technician continues to make his case. Suave: “Absolutely not! We’re not going to do it…huh?...NO! Not even in super slow motion. You’re sick…excuse me? No, I’m not gay…what? We’re back on the air?” Suave waves the technician away. Suave: “Joe Biden is in the ring.”

JOE BIDEN PROMO
Biden tells the crowd that he’s proud to serve as Barack Obama’s aide de camp and that Obama is the best man to lead PCW. Biden: “In two weeks at PCW Extreme Election Night 2008, Obama is going to face a major challenge. As a student of political wrestling history, I guarantee you it’s going to happen…and he’s going to need help. That’s right. Just like O’Beck Bahama is going up against an experienced opponent in Starz N. Stripes for the PCW title, Barack Obama’s experience in this arena pales in comparison to the long years of service of John McCain…” Barack Obama, at ringside, whispers “that’s enough Joe.” Biden: “…Thank goodness, Obama chose me to be his second in command. Because in the event of a crisis during the PCW title match and Bahama gets into a pinch, it’ll be good that I’m there since I’ve been around the block a few times and Obama…well…hasn’t…” Obama again whispers to Joe “That’s enough, Joe.” Biden: “My experience should more than make up for Obama’s shortcomings in that department…(Obama: Joe…shut up…shut up, Joe…)…since he’s never dealt with any type of major crisis before…(Obama: Shut up!)…or been forced to make tough decisions in the heat of battle…(Obama: Joe, just shut up already!)…

‘SARAH PALIN’ PRESS CONFERENCE
Palin/Fey:
“…and that’s why I strongly condemn John McCain for using robocalls to push his candidacy for PCW CEO. And furthermore I believe-” A harried Alec Baldwin runs in and whispers in her ear. Palin/Fey: “WHAT? She escaped? And she’s coming her right now?...Oh…bye-” *THWACK* Suave: “IT’S THE REAL SARAH PALIN AND SHE JUST CLOCKED TINA FEY WITH HER HOCKEY STICK!” Fey down. Baldwin backs up and tries to reason with her. *THWACK* Palin breaks the hockey stick in two over Baldwin’s head.

In the ring, Corporate Lackey Bradley Scott Wilson, Esq. reads a press release for the McMann Corporation. Wilson: “The acquisition of the services of Daisy Cutter-Bomb has moved the McMann Corporation a step closer towards our ultimate goal of complete and total domination of PCW. ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann announces the addition of two more people who will help us move forward towards our goal. Rough Justice- D.B. Ruff and Connor Justice- two former police officers fired for their over the top, overly aggressive form of law enforcement, have agreed to join the McMann Corporation as Corporate Security. The McMann Corporation welcomes Rough Justice to the team.”

MATCH #3 PCW TAG TEAM TITLE #1 CONTENDERS MATCH: A. TOM BOMB and HY DROGEN BOMB w/Newt Tron Bomb and the ‘6 foot tall demolition machine in a short skirt’ Dawn McGill (American Patriots) vs. BIG OIL w/ Texas Tex and KIRK WALSTREIT- the man with the man crush on ESPN’s Kirk Herbstreit w/Daisy Cutter-Bomb, Quadruple R, D.B. Ruff, Connor Justice, CEO Mr. McMann, and CFO Gordon Guyko (McMann Corp)
Suave: “Here we go. This one should be a doozy. The winner gets a shot at the PCW Tag Team belts in two weeks.” Suave also notes that it’s weird to see Daisy Cutter-Bomb in the opposite corner of her brothers A-Bomb, H-Bomb, and N-Bomb. The bell rings. A-Bomb and Big Oil lock up. Suave: “Hold on! Quadruple R in the ring…*WHAP* HOLY CRAP! That was a sickening chairshot on A-Bomb. H-Bomb’s in the ring…Ruff and Justice are in the ring. Newt Tron Bomb is in the ring. IT’S CHAOS!” Big Oil plants A-Bomb with an Oklahoma Driller. Suave: “HOLY CRAP! And now, Ruff has a taser…HE JUST TASERED H-BOMB! DAWN McGILL IS LYING ON THE FLOOR OUTSIDE THE RING. SHE’S BEEN ASSAULTED BY DAISY CUTTER-BOMB! WALSTREIT GIVES H-BOMB THE STOCK MARKET PLUNGE! THIS IS CARNAGE!”

Big Oil drags A-Bomb up and Daisy climbs into the ring with a Singapore cane. Suave: “WAIT A MINUTE! DAISY’S NOT GOING TO…NOT TO HER OWN BROTHER…*THWACK* CANE SHOT! CANE SHOT! A-BOMB IS BLEEDING PROFUSELY!” Big Oil throws A-Bomb down and gets the easy cover. 1…2…3.

WINNER AND THE #1 CONTENDER FOR THE PCW TAG TEAM TITLE: BIG OIL and KIRK WALSTREIT

Suave: “McMANN’S CORPORATION MAKES A HUGE STATEMENT TONIGHT! NEXT WEEK, A SHORTENED VERSION OF PCW EXTREME POLITICAL TV FOLLOWED BY THE REPLAY OF 2006 EXTREME ELECTION NIGHT. TWO WEEKS FROM TONIGHT, IT’S PCW EXTREME ELECTION NIGHT 2008. LET’S RUN DOWN THE OFFICIAL CARD…”

Mixed Tag Team Three-Way Dance: Bill O’Reilly and ? from Fox News vs. MSNBC’s Keith Olbermann and ? vs. CNN’s Lou Dobb’s and ?
*
Minnesota Street Brawl: Al Franken (Progressive Alliance) vs. Norm Coleman (American Patriots)
*
Carolina Cat Fight: Elizabeth Dole (American Patriots) vs. Kay Hagan (Progressive Alliance)
*
New Hampshire Intergender Match: Jeanne Shaheen (Progressive Alliance) vs. John Sununu (American Patriots)
*
PCW Tag Team Title Match: Jack and Bull Schett © w/Horst Schett and Hans Gruber- the Extreme German Schnauzer (Progressive Alliance) vs. Big Oil w/Texas Tex and Kirk Walstreit- the man with the man crush on ESPN’s Kirk Herbstreit (McMann Corp)
*
PCW Women’s Title Match: ‘The Empress Queen of All Media’ Opal Winfree © w/Opal’s Flock- New Age Sensitive Guy and Soccer Mom (Progressive Alliance) vs. Kathryn Randall Collins aka KRC (McMann Corp)
*
PCW Title Match: ‘The Original Rookie Sensation’ Starz N. Stripes © w/John McCain (American Patriots) vs. ‘The New Rookie Sensation’ O’Beck Bahama w/Barack Obama (Progressive Alliance)

Saturday, October 18, 2008

10/18- PCW Newsline

10/18-PCW Newsline:

-The Palace of Political Extreme, PCW Arena, has seen many a shocking twist in the past three and half years. But nothing compares to what happened last week on PCW Extreme Political TV. Daisy Cutter-Bomb stunned the PCW Arena crowd by turning on her 3 Amigas compadre ‘PCW Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin and joining Mr. McMann’s Corporation. Not only did Daisy cost her a shot at the PCW Women’s Title, Tessa suffered a separated left shoulder as a result of not one, but two, devastating Daisy Cutter Power-Bombs delivered by her former teammate. The PCW Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl will be out four to six weeks.
*
-After acquiring the services of Daisy Cutter-Bomb, will ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann have another trick up his sleeve this week?

The card for PCW Extreme Election Night 2008 November 4th is taking shape. Here are the matches signed so far:
-Al Franken (Progressive Alliance) vs. Norm Coleman (American Patriots) in a Minnesota Street Brawl
*
-Elizabeth Dole (American Patriots) vs. Kay Hagan (Progressive Alliance) in a North Carolina Catfight.
*
-John Sununu (American Patriots) vs. Jeanne Shaheen (Progressive Alliance) in a New Hampshire Intergender match up.
*
-Kathryn Randall Collins (McMann Corporation) vs. ‘The Empress Queen of All Media’ Opal Winfree © w/Opal’s Flock- Soccer Mom and New Age Sensitive Guy (Progressive Alliance) for the PCW Women’s Title.
*
-‘The New Rookie Sensation’ O’Beck Bahama w/Barack Obama (Progressive Alliance) vs. ‘The Original Rookie Sensation’ Starz N. Stripes © w/John McCain (American Patriots) for the PCW Title.

This week on PCW Extreme Political TV:
-The main event will be a #1 contender’s match for the PCW Tag Team belts. Big Oil w/Texas Tex and Kirk Walstreit of the McMann Corporation faces off against A. Tom Bomb and Hy Drogen Bomb w/Newt Tron Bomb of the American Patriots. The winner faces Jack Schett and Bull Schett for the PCW Tag Team Title at PCW Extreme Election Night 2008
*
-FUBAR will make another title defense of his PCW Television title. Will ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido continue to hound the Television Champion for a title shot?
*
- John Sununu (American Patriots) vs. Jeanne Shaheen (Progressive Alliance) in a preview of the New Hampshire Intergender match up coming up at PCW Extreme Election Night 2008
*
-The third and final interview for John McCain and Barack Obama with PCW Owner Bubba Jackson for the PCW CEO position.
*
-Current PCW CEO George W. addresses the ongoing attacks involving both McCain and Obama as well as the Keith Olbermann situation. Last week on PCW Extreme Political TV, Olbermann was chokeslammed again by Extreme Equalizer Whiskey Tango Foxtrot. Olbermann named George W the ‘Worst Person in the World’ because he hasn’t addressed the gratuitous violence being levied in his direction. How will George W respond?
*
All this and more, this week on PCW Extreme Political TV.
*
PCW WORLD CHAMPION: ‘The Original Rookie Sensation’ Starz N. Stripes (American Patriots)
CONTENDERS:
#1- ‘The New Rookie Sensation’ O’Beck Bahama (Progressive Alliance)
#2- ‘The Angry Highway Warrior’ Quadruple R (McMann Corp)

PCW WOMEN’S CHAMPION: ‘Empress Queen of All Media’ Opal Winfree (Progressive Alliance)
CONTENDERS:
#1- Kathryn Randall Collins (McMann Corp)
#2- ‘PCW Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin (Independent)

PCW TELEVISION CHAMPION: FUBAR (Independent)
CONTENDERS:
#1- ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido (Progressive Alliance)
#2- Halitosis (Independent)

PCW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: Schett Brothers- Jack Schett and Bull Schett (Progressive Alliance)
CONTENDERS:
#1- A. Tom Bomb and Hy Drogen Bomb (American Patriots)
#2- Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit (McMann Corp)

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

10/14-PCW Extreme Political TV

Last week on PCW:
-Joe Biden (Progressive Alliance) and Sarah Palin (American Patriots) faced off as both were interviewed by PCW Owner Bubba Jackson. Biden tried to make the case that John McCain hasn’t been a maverick about the right things. Inexplicatively, Sarah Palin agreed with him. Then Palin went on about how she royally screwed up the Katie Couric interview and didn’t know anything about Supreme Court cases. Finally, the real Sarah Palin hit the stage and revealed that the fake Palin was in actuality Saturday Night Live’s Tina Fey. A catfight ensued and Fey makes a run for it.
*
-In a preview of a Minnesota Street Brawl at PCW Extreme Election Night 2008, Al Franken (Progressive Alliance) pulled off a mild upset by defeating Norm Coleman (American Patriots)
*
-Barbra Streisand came out to berate DeWayne Cantrell but ended up taking out her wrath on the Black Swamp Pirates. Arianna Huffington, MSNBC’s Keith Olbermann and the Angry Left Wing Bloggers (Daily Kos, Paul Krugman, Eric Alterman, and Media Matters) attack the Pirates which brought out CNN’s Lou Dobbs (Independent). Dobbs, in turn, called out the ‘Extreme Equalizer’ Whiskey Tango Foxtrot who took care of the Angry Left Wing Bloggers and then chokeslammed Olbermann for good measure.
*
-DeWayne Cantrell defeated a bunch of greedy, arrogant AIG Executives in a handicap match at the luxary St. Regis Resort in Monarch Beach, CA
*
-‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann used his corporate influence to change the PCW Women’s Title Match by inserting Kathryn Randall Collins in for ‘PCW Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin. Martin, along with Daisy Cutter-Bomb and Tequila Sheila of the 3 Amigas, interferes and costs KRC the match.
*
-John McCain and Sarah Palin leave O’Beck Bahama lying backstage

PCW EXTREME POLITICAL TV- October 14th from the PCW Arena, Eagle Rock, Ohio
****
PCW OVERVIEW (for the uninitiated)
****
HOST: Johnny Suave
Johnny Suave: “Good evening everyone and welcome to PCW!”

The crowd chants PCW…PCW.

‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ MR. McMANN’S CORPORATE BOARDROOM
Mr. McMann is furious about what transpired last week on PCW Extreme Political TV. Quadruple R (Randy ‘Road Rage’ Richards) is furious and demands that they take immediate action. McMann sternly reminds him that he is the decision maker in his corporation, not him. Quadruple R sulks away. Gordon Guyko then appears and reams out Mr. McMann for what happened last week. Guyko questions his large investment in Mr. McMann’s corporation. McMann assures him that he’s taken additional steps to ensure that what took place last week will never, ever happen again. McMann: “Gordon. Tonight is the night that we will display the full corporate power that our organization will bring to bear and PCW will tremble.” Guyko likes that.

Suave: “It’ll be interesting to see if Mr. McMann can control Quadruple R and his blinding and singleminded ambition to become PCW Champion or whether the loose cannon within him eventually explodes.”

Suave runs down tonight’s card:
*
-a preview of the Carolina Catfight at PCW Extreme Election Night 2008 between Elizabeth Dole (American Patriots) and Kay Hagan (Progressive Alliance)
*
-John McCain and Barack Obama have their second interview with PCW Owner Bubba Jackson for the PCW CEO position.
*
-#1 contenders match between Kathryn Randall Collins (McMann Corporation) and ‘PCW Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin (3 Amigas) with the winner to face PCW Women’s Champion ‘Empress Queen of All Media’ Opal Winfree at PCW Extreme Election Night 2008
*
-and last, but not least, MSNBC’s Keith Olbermann will give one of us patented ‘Special, Special Comments’ right here at the PCW Arena

MATCH #1- PCW TELEVISION TITLE MATCH: FUBAR © w/Dr. Bill (Independent) vs. ‘The Insanely Foul Breathed Luchador’ HALITOSIS (Independent)
Suave: “This ought to be a good test for FUBAR. Halitosis has wrestled for the PCW title in the past.” The bell rings and immediately Halitosis hits a sweet tilt a whirl on FUBAR. FUBAR retaliates right back with knee strikes and then a jawbreaker. Halitosis whips FUBAR into the ropes. Clothesline in return by FUBAR. Halitosis tries to climb the top rope. FUBAR stops him and Dr. Bill whaps Halitosis from behind with his clipboard. He drops to the canvas. FUBAR over, puts Halitosis into the tree of woe. Dr. Bill places a chair next to ‘The Insanely Foul Breathed Luchador’ and FUBAR kicks the chair into him. FUBAR follows with a jawbreaker and a leaping Enziguri. Halitosis reverses and hits a flatliner off of the top to FUBAR! Halitosis goes for his ‘breath of death’ but Dr. Bill again whaps him in the back of the head with his clipboard. FUBAR covers and match over.

WINNER AND STILL PCW TELEVISION CHAMPION: FUBAR

‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido of the Progressive Alliance comes out and again challenges FUBAR for the PCW Television Title. Dr. Bill reminds Escondido that the last time he came out and tried to intimidate FUBAR that the entire roster of jobbers/talent enhancement came out in force. Dr. Bill: “You see, I’ve changed FUBAR. He’s no longer led; he’s a leader of men. The jobber’s look up to him because he learned not to lose but to win.” Escondido scoffs and calls FUBAR the same ol’ jobber he’s always been and always will be. Escondido: “He can’t beat me without your help, Dr. Bill. That’s the fact.” FUBAR looks at Dr. Bill. Escondido: “That’s right. You can’t beat me on your own, FUBAR. You’re nothing with Dr. Bill.” Escondido exits and leaves a bewildered FUBAR looking anxiously at Dr. Bill.

Suave: “Wow. Strong words again from ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido. Is he right? Is FUBAR nothing without Dr. Bill?”

McCAIN-OBAMA 2ND INTERVIEW FOR PCW CEO
The second of three interviews with PCW Owner Bubba Jackson to help determine who will become the next PCW CEO.

Barack Obama (Progressive Alliance) is furious with John McCain (American Patriots) and they get into it over a string of incidents over the past week where McCain attacked Obama. Obama: “Your angry tone and these attacks are incendiary and totally over the top.” McCain disputes that but then Obama rolls tape:

-Last week’s PCW Extreme Political TV. McCain and Palin jump O’Beck Bahama backstage and leave him with a severely sprained ankle.

Obama: “See?” McCain: “That doesn’t prove anything. You’re overreacting.” Obama: “Overreacting? What about this?”

-PCW House show in Hudson, MI. McCain and Obama get into it during a match and Sarah Palin sneaks in from behind and clocks Obama with her hockey stick.

McCain: “Strategy. This is a tough business.” Obama: “What about this?”

-PCW House show in Defiance, OH. McCain jumps Obama from behind and they get into it. Then Palin joins in and they double team Obama.

Bubba finally asks McCain to explain his actions. McCain: “Look, I’m a fighter and I will continue to vigorously fight for what’s right for PCW. Obama: “As you can see, the only thing John McCain has to offer is cheap personal attacks and nothing concerning the future of PCW. McCain: “All you offer is empty, pie in the sky rhetoric and political speak. Hell, people throw rose petals in your path as you walk by.” Obama: “What makes you think that?” McCain points over to the two people holding baskets of rose petals. Obama tells McCain he has as much chance of becoming the next PCW CEO as Adam ‘Pacman’ Jones does getting back into the NFL. McCain: “Pacman? I used to play that in the 80’s. Starts singing ‘Pac-Man Fever’

Bubba asks McCain if he thinks his attacks are backfiring on him. McCain responds he will continue to fight and the day he gives up is the day the Tampa Bay Devil Rays make the World Series. Obama: “John, the Tampa Bay Rays are one game away from going to the World Series.” McCain: “Oh.”

BIG OIL/KIRK WALSTREIT PROMO
The PCW Arena crowd boos Big Oil as he takes the mic. He admits that times have been tough. The plummeting gas prices have cost him a fortune. The crowd stands and cheers. Big Oil: “Sure, go ahead and gloat at someone else’s misfortunate. Kick someone when he’s down.” Suave: “Say what? Apparently, Big Oil doesn’t remember this…”

-Replay of Big Oil holding four fingers up to signify $4 per gallon of gas and taunting the crowd from June 9th PCW Loose Cannons Unleashed 4
-Replay of Big Oil gloating about $3.50 per gallon of gas to Average Joe and Al Gore from April 4th PCW Extreme Political TV
-Replay of Big Oil bragging about the record oil prices at the March 24th PCW Extreme Political TV

Kirk Walstreit, holding a portrait of ESPN’s Kirk Herbstreit, also confesses that the Wall Street plunge has cut into his earnings dramatically. Again, the crowd cheers. Big Oil: “That’s why Walstreit and I have joined McMann’s Corporation. Walstreit says that McMann is a ‘sports entertainment genius’ who’s promised them the PCW Tag Team titles. Big Oil says that the difference between peons like the PCW Arena crowd…this causes a loud dissonant reaction from the PCW patrons…and him is that he thinks big picture. McMann’s corporate structure will be powerful enough to guarantee that he will be one half of the PCW Tag Team Champions at PCW Extreme Election Night 2008.

Jack Schett, Bull Schett, Horst Schett, and the extreme German Schnauzer Hans Gruber (Progressive Alliance), come out. Jack says that if Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit think it’ll be easy to pry the PCW Tag Team belts from their hands then they don’t know Jack Schett. Bull: “I say…Bull Schett.” Walstreit asks ‘who’s the mutt?’ Horst Schett explodes. Horst: “This dog is only just named after the greatest GERMAN VILLAIN IN CINEMATIC HISTORY- HANS GRUBER!" Walstreit: "And your point is?" Horst: "The point is...YOU WILL SHOW RESPECT TO HANS GRUBER AND THE GREAT ACTOR WHO PLAYED HANS GRUBER- ALAN RICKMAN! SIC ‘EM HANS!” Hans Gruber chases Big Oil and Walstreit around the ring before both are able to slide out and escape.

MATCH #2- ELIZABETH DOLE (American Patriots) w/John McCain vs. KAY HAGAN (Progressive Alliance) w/Barack Obama
The bell rings for the Carolina Catfight preview. Hagan runs out and sends Dole into the corner. Hagan goes for a headlock. Dole powers out and whips Hagan off the ropes. Shoulder block. Hagan bounces right back up and grounds her with an arm drag. Dole pushes Hagan off again and ducks to the outside to talk with McCain. Hagan also confers with Obama.

Hagan with a leg trip takedown and back to a grounded headlock. Hagan wrenches Doles arm. Dole fights up again but Hagan flings herself into the ropes and gets a high crossbody block. Cover for one. Hagan to the arm wrench herself. Dole backs Hagan into the corner and McCain pulls her legs out from under her. Hagan then decks Dole with an uppercut and turns and scowls at McCain. Obama also yells unpleasantries at McCain. Hagan whips Dole off the ropes and hits another high crossbody. Two count. Suave: “That was close.” Hagan attempts a standing moonsault and leaps into Dole’s knees. Dole locks in a submission hold. Obama comes in and pulls Dole off Hagan.

McCain and Obama chin to chin in the ring. Suave: “This could finally be boiling over! McCain and Obama look like they’re about to- HEY! WHO’S THE LADY IN THE RING?” An unknown lady climbs into the ring with a skillet. She shrieks ‘I don’t trust you. You’re an Arab!’ and starts to swing the skillet towards Obama. McCain grabs the skillet at the last second. Suave: “HOLY CRAP! SHE WAS GOING TO SKULL OBAMA WITH THAT SKILLET!” McCain: “No, ma’am. He's a decent family man with whom I happen to have some disagreements."
*
Behind them, Hagan sneaks in and rolls up Dole. 1…2…3.

WINNER: KAY HAGAN

Suave: “Good for John McCain. Even though it cost the American Patriots the match, he did the right thing. Hopefully, both McCain and Palin will tone down the attacks now before things get totally out of...what? I see. Ladies and gentlemen, something is going on in the back.”

BACKSTAGE
PCW Champion Starz N. Stripes (American Patriots) lies unconscious on the floor. Suave: “HOLY CRAP! THE PCW CHAMPION HAS BEEN LAID OUT. BUT…OBAMA WAS IN THE RING. WHO COULD HAVE DONE IT?” The camera pulls up to show Bill and Hillary Clinton walking away.

Suave: “Ah, ha. Well, if there was any question about where Bill and Hillary’s loyalties were, it looks like tonight they’ve cleared it up.” Suave then previews Keith Olbermann’s upcoming Special, Special Comment by replaying the events that have led up to tonight.

-Replay of August 26th PCW Extreme Political TV. The Daily Show’s Jon Stewart pushes Olbermann off a scaffolding twenty feet down through several tables.
-Replay of September 16th PCW Extreme Political TV. CNN’s Lou Dobbs run in and takes out Olbermann with a steel-folding chair.
-Replay of last week’s PCW Extreme Political TV. ‘The Extreme Equalizer’ Whiskey Tango Foxtrot comes to the rescue of Average Joe and the American Trucker and then chokeslams Olbermann for good measure.

KEITH OLBERMANN’S SPECIAL, SPECIAL COMMENT TO PCW
Suave:
“And now, here’s Keith Olbermann’s special, special comment.” Olbermann: “F*** YOU!” The crowd boos. Suave: “Well. That was a little harsh, don’t you think?” Olbermann begins to go off on the PCW Arena crowd-

*Def Leppard’s ‘Rock, Rock Til You Drop blares over the loudspeakers*

‘The Extreme Equalizer’ Whiskey Tango Foxtrot runs down, grabs Olbermann by the throat, lift, chokeslam. PCW Arena Crowd: “PCW…PCW!”

MATCH #3- #1 CONTENDER’S MATCH FOR THE PCW WOMEN’S TITLE: ‘PCW Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ TESSA MARTIN w/Daisy Cutter-Bomb and Tequila Sheila (3 Amigas) vs. KATHRYN RANDALL COLLINS…aka KRC w/Mr. McMann, Big Oil, Kirk Walstreit, Quadruple R, and Gordon Guyko (McMann’s Corporation)
Suave:
“Last week, Mr. McMann’s Corporation screwed ‘PCW Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin out of her title shot. This week, Tessa wants revenge.” The bell rings and quick a stare down. Tessa immediately backs Collins into the corner and chops the hell out of her. Headlock, KRC gets whipped off the ropes and eats a shoulder block. Tessa grabs her a fistful of hair and snap mares Collins. Quick rollup but Collins kicks out. Forearms shots brings down Collins and Tessa locks in a leg lock. KRC reverses into an arm bar. Tessa reverses right back into another leg lock. KRC gets to her feet and shoves Tessa down. Tessa right back up and pushes KRC down. Tessa drops an elbow on her knee. Knee drop to KRC’s leg and then Tessa locks in a single leg crab. KRC somehow crawls to the ropes. Tessa tries to drag her back in but Big Oil grabs KRC’s hands. Finally, Tessa lets go.

KRC backs into the corner. Tessa kicks her in the gut. Suplex and a two count. Suave: “The Corporation looks a bit concerned there. Tessa is going all out tonight.” Tessa single leg takedown on KRC and rolls into a grounded armbar. Tessa whips Collins off the ropes, and catches KRC charging and dumps her over the top rope. Big Oil goes over to check on KRC. Collins back in the ring and Tessa works on her arm again. Tessa grounds KRC and drives her knee into the shoulder. Collins powers to her feet. Tessa works the arm and backs KRC into a corner. She chops the hell out of her again before Collins ducks out of the corner and breaks away. Reverse Irish whip throws Tessa into the wrong corner. Quadruple R pulls Tessa’s legs out from under her and she face plants onto the canvas. Daisy Cutter-Bomb and Tequila Sheila in the ring. Big Oil and Walstreit in the ring. KRC kicks away at Tessa. Collins drags her up and throws her right into a Quadruple R clothesline.

Average Joe and the American Trucker run down. Average Joe pulls Quadruple R out of the ring and starts flailing on him. Daisy Cutter-Bomb pulls KRC off Tessa and whips her into the other corner. Big Oil corners Daisy. Daisy slides between his legs and makes it back to the other corner. American Trucker kicks Big Oil in the balls and then DDT’s Kirk Walstreit. Tessa stumbles back to the other side of the ring. Big Oil grabs American Trucker from behind and chokeslams him.
*
KRC advances on Tessa. Tessa calls for her oversized pizza box. Daisy Cutter-Bomb climbs out and grabs the box. KRC gets closer. Tessa again calls for the box. Daisy climbs up on the apron, raises the box, and then blasts Tessa in the face with it. Suave: “HOLY CRAP! SHE…SHE…I DON’T BELIEVE IT. DAISY CUTTER-BOMB JUST DOUBLECROSSED THE PCW EXTREME PIZZA DELIVERY GIRL!” Daisy climbs in the ring and gives Tessa a Daisy Cutter Power-bomb. The PCW Arena crowd can’t believe it. Johnny Suave can’t believe it. KRC sticks her foot on Tessa’s chest and that’s all.

WINNER AND #1 CONTENDER FOR THE PCW WOMEN’S TITLE: KATHRYN RANDALL COLLINS

Suave: “NO! NO! THIS CAN’T BE HAPPENING!” Tequila Sheila confronts Daisy. Daisy gives her a Daisy Cutter Power-bomb. She then drags an unconscious Tessa back up. Suave: “NO! THAT’S ENOUGH!” Daisy hits a Daisy Cutter Power-bomb with enough force that Tessa’s body bounces several inches up off the canvas. The crowd starts to throw debris in the ring. Mr. McMann shakes Daisy’s hand. Suave: “THIS IS WRONG! DAISY CUTTER-BOMB TURNS ON TESSA MARTIN. KATHRYN RANDALL COLLINS IS THE NEW #1 CONTENDER FOR THE PCW WOMEN’S TITLE. AND THE 3 AMIGAS ARE NO MORE! THREE WEEKS TO GO BEFORE PCW EXTREME ELECTION NIGHT 2008! WHAT’S GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT?”

-----------------------

PCW at Wordpress.com


Prairie Depot Press- Home of the novel Loose Cannons and Other Weapons of Mass Political Destruction

Monday, October 13, 2008

10/13 PCW Newsline

-PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein announces that MSNBC commentator Keith Olbermann will deliver a ‘Special, Special Comment’ this week on PCW Extreme Political TV. Olbermann will respond to the ‘treatment’ he’s received here in PCW over the past few weeks. If you remember, it all started at the August 26th edition of PCW Extreme Political TV when the Daily Show’s Jon Stewart pushed Olbermann off a scaffolding and through several stacked tables below. Then on September 16th, CNN’s Lou Dobbs ran in and took out Olbermann with a steel chair. Then last week on PCW Extreme Political TV, the ‘Extreme Equalizer’ Whiskey Tango Foxtrot came to the rescue of Average Joe and the American Trucker and in the process, chokeslammed Olbermann for good measure.

-Other matches on PCW Extreme Political TV this week include:
*
-A preview of the Carolina Catfight next month at PCW Extreme Election Night 2008: Elizabeth Dole (American Patriots) vs. Kay Hagan (Progressive Alliance)
*
-PCW TV Champion FUBAR defends his title against the ‘Insanely Foul Smelling Luchador’ Halitosis
*
-John McCain and Barack Obama have their second interview with PCW Owner Bubba Jackson for the PCW CEO position
*
-And in a #1 contender’s match: Kathryn Randall Collins of McMann’s Corporation takes on the ‘PCW Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin. The winner will face PCW Women’s champion ‘Empress Queen of All Media’ Opal Winfree at PCW Extreme Election Night 2008

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

10/9- PCW Newsline

10/9-PCW Newsline:

-Progressive Alliance contender O’Beck Bahama suffered a severely sprained ankle at the hands of John McCain and Sarah Palin. Will Bahama be ready in four weeks for PCW Extreme Election Night 2008 where he’s to face PCW Champion Starz N. Stripes? How will Barack Obama respond to this escalation of tension between him and McCain next week on PCW Extreme Political TV?

-Tuesday night on PCW Extreme Political TV, McMann Corporation Chief and Sports Entertainment Genius, Mr. McMann, unveiled two of his latest signees to his corporation: Big Oil w/Texas Tex and Wall Street Market Analyst and huge fan of ESPN’s Kirk Herbstreit, Kirk Walstreit. But disaster struck after McMann had paid off PCW CEO George W to change the PCW Women’s title match from PCW Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl Tessa Martin to the Corporation’s Kathryn Randall Collins. Martin and her 3 Amigas compadres attacked the Corporation and caused Collins to be pinned by Champion ‘Empress Queen of All Media’ Opal Winfree (Progressive Alliance). McMann vows to bring out another ‘significant acquisition’ next week.

-Not only does McMann’s Corporation have their eye on the PCW Women’s title, but it appears as if Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit will be teaming together to challenge the reigning PCW Tag Team Champions Jack Schett and Bull Schett of the Progressive Alliance. For the moment, Big Oil is keeping his massive ego in check and settling for the tag team belts, allowing ‘Quadruple R’ Randy ‘Road Rage’ Richards to go for the PCW Title. We’ll see just how long that lasts.

-‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido (Progressive Alliance) continues to claim that PCW Television Champion FUBAR is not worthy to hold the title since he is ‘talent enhancement.’ Escondido, with help from ‘The American Screamer’ Howard Dean, continues his crusade next week on PCW Extreme Political TV to get a title shot. Other matches on the bill next week include:
*
-A preview of the Carolina Catfight next month at PCW Extreme Election Night 2008: Elizabeth Dole (American Patriots) vs. Kay Hagan (Progressive Alliance)
*
-PCW TV Champion FUBAR defends his title against the ‘Insanely Foul Smelling Luchador’ Halitosis
*
-John McCain and Barack Obama have their second interview with PCW Owner Bubba Jackson for the PCW CEO position
*
-And in a #1 contender’s match: Kathryn Randall Collins of McMann’s Corporation takes on the ‘PCW Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin with the winner facing PCW Women’s champion ‘Empress Queen of All Media’ Opal Winfree at PCW Extreme Election Night 2008
****
PCW WORLD CHAMPION: ‘The Original Rookie Sensation’ Starz N. Stripes (American Patriots)
CONTENDERS:
#1- ‘The New Rookie Sensation’ O’Beck Bahama (Progressive Alliance)
#2- ‘The Angry Highway Warrior’ Quadruple R (McMann Corp)

PCW WOMEN’S CHAMPION: ‘Empress Queen of All Media’ Opal Winfree (Progressive Alliance)
CONTENDERS:
#1- ‘PCW Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin (3 Amigas)
#2- Kathryn Randall Collins (Progressive Alliance)

PCW TELEVISION CHAMPION: FUBAR (Independent)
CONTENDERS:
#1- ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido (Progressive Alliance)
#2- Big Oil (McMann Corp)

PCW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: Schett Brothers- Jack Schett and Bull Schett (Progressive Alliance)
CONTENDERS:
#1- A. Tom Bomb and Hy Drogen Bomb (American Patriots)
#2- GreenPete and Extreme Vegan Brock Cole Lee (Green World Order)

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

10/7 PCW Extreme Political TV

Last week on PCW:
-Barack Obama comes out and says he’s had enough of John McCain’s aggressive tactics. McCain responds that political wrestling is tough and Obama’s just mad because his wrestler, O’Beck Bahama (Progressive Alliance), lost another match to PCW Champion Starz N. Stripes (American Patriots). Obama challenges McCain to one last match for O’Beck Bahama vs. Starz N. Stripes at PCW Extreme Election 2008.
-FUBAR w/Dr. Bill defeated Michael Hunt of ‘Guys With Unfortunate First Names Given Their Surname’ and then gets challenged by ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido. Escondido doesn’t get the answer he wants so he attacks FUBAR causing the rest of the Jobber/Talent Enhancement group to come out to FUBAR’s rescue.
-DeWayne Cantrell crashes the Barbra Streisand’s Beverly Hills fundraiser for Barack Obama and for some reason doesn’t see any ‘middle class Americans’ there. Then he takes a steel folding chair to the high priced guests and celebrities. Then the Black Swamp Pirates take over Barbra Streisand’s stage and play ‘American Elitist.’
-‘PCW Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin of the 3 Amigas defeats ‘Defense Expert’ Hallie Burton (American Patriots) for a shot at the PCW Women’s Title held by ‘Empress Queen of All Media’ Opal Winfree.
-‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann attempts to persuade an unseen person or persons to join his corporation.
-John McCain and Barack Obama sit down for their first job interview for PCW CEO with owner Bubba Jackson.
-Jack Schett and Bull Schett (Progressive Alliance) successfully defend their PCW Tag Team belts against A. Tom Bomb and Hy Drogen Bomb with an assist from Barack Obama in a wild match that saw Arianna Huffington and the Angry Left Wing Bloggers (Daily Kos, Paul Krugman, Eric Alterman, and Media Matters) and Sarah Palin and the Right Wing Brigade (Sean Hannity, Rush Limbaugh, Ann Coulter, and Michelle Malkin) run in and Obama’s aide de camp candidate Joe Biden stop John McCain from coming to the Bomb Brothers rescue.

PCW EXTREME POLITICAL TV- October 7th from Hillsdale College, Hillsdale, MI
HOST: Johnny Suave

Suave: “Welcome to PCW!”

The crowd chants PCW…PCW.

Suave notes that PCW Extreme Election Night 2008 is less than a month away. He quickly runs down tonight’s show. The main event is the PCW Women’s Title match between the challenger ‘PCW Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin and Champion Opal Winfree with her flock, New Age Sensitive Guy and Soccer Mom. Also on the card, Al Franken of the Progressive Alliance vs. Norm Coleman of the American Patriots. Mr. McMann has a corporate announcement to make. Suave: “But first, it’s time for the aide de camp candidates of the American Patriots and Progressive Alliance to sit down with Bubba Jackson.

BIDEN-PALIN INTERVIEW FOR PCW CEO
Joe Biden plays up his vast years of experience. Sarah Palin winks incessantly at Bubba. Biden tells Bubba that John McCain says he’s a ‘maverick’ but in actuality, he hasn’t been a maverick about the things that matter. Bubba: “What about the whole torture issue?” Biden: “Okay…except for the torture issue, McCain hasn’t been a maverick about the things that matter. Bubba: “Um…what about the pork and earmark abuses? Biden: “All right. Except for torture and the pork and earmark abuse issue, McCain hasn’t been a mav-” Bubba: “What about McCain-Feingold Campaign Finance Reform?” Biden: “Okay. With the exception of torture, pork and earmark abuse, and McCain-Feingold, McCain hasn’t been a maverick.” Bubba: “Illegal immigration when he took on his own party?” Biden sighs. Biden: “Fine. Excepting torture, pork and earmark abuse, McCain-Feingold, and the illegal immigration issue, when has John McCain been a maverick about things that really matter?” Bubba: “He stuck up for the surge when it was politically damaging to do so.” Biden sighs again. Bubba turns to Sarah Palin for her response.

Palin: “By golly, I’d have to agree with Joe Biden. John McCain hasn’t been the maverick on issues that really matter to good ol’ Joe Six-Pack.” She winks at Bubba again. Suave: “What? She agreed with Joe Biden?” Bubba looks at her quizzically and continues. He asks her about the Katie Couric interview. Palin: “Boy, I really screwed that one up didn’t I? I sure looked clueless as hell.” Bubba follows up with a question about what newspapers she reads. Palin: “Newspapers? Darn if I know which one I read. I swear I'm like a box of rocks sometimes.” Bubba again gives her a strange look and asks her about Supreme Court cases. Palin: “Supreme Court cases? Isn’t that something you get a one of those fancy stores that Joe Six-Pack can’t afford to go into.” Palin winks again at Bubba and adds that Joe Six-Pack should support Barack Obama. Suave: “All right! Something isn’t right here.” Palin goes on and on about why Obama is better than McCain when a scream off stage is heard. Suave: “What the-” Out of nowhere, a woman leaps at and tackles Palin. Suave: “I KNEW IT! THAT WASN’T REALLY SARAH PALIN! THAT’S TINA FEY FROM SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE!” Palin and Fey roll around on the ground. Suave: “CAT-FIGHT! CAT-FIGHT!” Palin gets up and grabs her hockey stick. She takes a wild swing at Fey. Fey ducks and then the SNL star turns and runs for it.

MATCH #1 NORM COLEMAN (American Patriots) vs. AL FRANKEN (Progressive Alliance)
Suave notes that Franken is the rookie here going up against an experience veteran in Coleman. Arianna Huffington is out hanging around Franken’s corner. She distracts Coleman and Franken takes advantage. Franken shoulder blocks him down and then chokes Coleman with his robe. Franken sets Coleman in the corner and then chokes him out with his boot. Whip off the ropes and Franken hits a leg whip. Huffington slides a chair in. Chairshot by Franken and then an arm bar. Knee by Coleman followed by a snap mare and back to the arm. Coleman finally escapes and slides out of the ring.

John McCain, leader of the American Patriots, now ringside and confers with Coleman. Back in the ring, he runs right into a clothesline. Franken follows with a dropkick. Kicks to the leg. Kicks to the back. Snap mare. Another kick to the back. Franken covers for 2. McCain in to break the count. Chairshot by McCain changes the momentum. Huffington on the ring apron and screaming at McCain. Coleman cranks on Franken’s knee and works into the reverse Indian deathlock. Barack Obama now down at the ring. Coleman rolls the Indian deathlock into a pinning combo. Obama in and pulls Coleman off. Franken to his feet. Shoulder ram by Coleman. Chops, rights, and uppercuts. Coleman rocks Franken. Wristlock and a twisting takedown. Coleman wrenches the wrist backwards and then stomps on the elbow. Coleman rolls into a cross arm breaker for one. Franken kicks his way out.

The crowd chants ‘PCW.’ Rights to Coleman. Cross face shots. Body kick by Coleman and back to the wristlock. Coleman adjusts to a hammerlock and works the other arm. Franken rolled into a pinning position for 2. Again, Obama breaks the count. Franken to his feet into a shoulder block by Coleman. Suplex try by Coleman countered by Franken. Coleman thrown out of the ring. Franken to the apron. Flying elbow drop from the ring. Suave: “HOLY CRAP!” Arianna Huffington sets a table up and Obama puts Coleman on it. McCain runs around the ring. Arianna latches on to him and holds on for dear life. Franken to the top. Sarah Palin hits the ring again with her hockey stick and whacks Franken in the back. Franken falls and hits hard on the floor. Joe Biden now to the ring. Obama and McCain get into it. Biden climbs up to the top rope. Palin starts towards him but Arianna gets in between her and Biden. Biden leaps and puts Coleman through the table. Suave: “HOLY CRAP!” Crowd: “PCW…PCW!” Biden rolls Coleman back into the ring. Then he rolls Franken back into the ring. Arianna and Palin rolls around on the ring canvas. Suave: “CAT-FIGHT! CAT-FIGHT!” Franken crawls over and covers Coleman. 1…2…3.

WINNER: AL FRANKEN (Progressive Alliance)

Suave: “WOW! Didn’t expect that. Al Franken proved to be a much tougher opponent than I originally thought he’d be. So far, not a good night for the American Patriots.

McCain looks extremely agitated at losing the match. He stalks to the back with Palin a step behind him.

The Black Swamp Pirates, fresh from their impromptu gig at Barbra Streisand’s Beverly Hills fundraiser for Barack Obama, come out to play a new song. Before they can start though, Barbra Streisand stomps out to the ring. She’s pissed off that DeWayne Cantrell ruined her fundraiser. She’s equally as pissed off that the Pirates dared to play country music at the event as well. Streisand: “NO ONE @#$##$# DOES THAT TO ME! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM? I’M BARBRA @#$#ING STREISAND! HOW DARE YOU PLAY YOUR LOW BROW HICK SONGS AT MY EVENT! I’M A STAR! YOU’RE A NOBODY!” Streisand demands to know where Cantrell is. Junior Jackson, lead singer of the Black Swamp Pirates, tells her he’s not here. Striesand wants to know where the @#$# is he? Junior points to a video screen.

MATCH #2 DeWAYNE CANTRELL vs. AIG EXECUTIVES
It was disclosed less than a week after the federal government offered an $85 billion bailout to insurance giant AIG that the company held a week-long retreat for its executives at the luxury St. Regis Resort in Monarch Beach, Calif. In running up a tab of $440,000, the executives spent $200,000 for rooms, $150,000 for meals and $23,000 for the spa.

The executives relax in their spa. Cantrell bursts in with his steel-folding chair. Executives: “AAAAAARRRGHHHHHH!” *CLANG* Down goes one executive. *CLANG* Down goes another. *CLANG* *CLANG* *CLANG* *CLANG* *CLANG* *CLANG* *CLANG* *CLANG* *CLANG* *CLANG* The referee runs in and stops the bout.

WINNER BY TKO: DeWAYNE CANTRELL

Streisand isn’t impressed and demands an apology from the Black Swamp Pirates. Junior refuses. Streisand again loudly demands an apology. Junior again refuses. Streisand screeches at him. Junior flips her off. Streisand: “THAT’S IT!” Suddenly, Arianna Huffington, MSNBC’s Keith Olbermann and the Angry Left Wing Bloggers (Daily Kos, Paul Krugman, Eric Alterman, and Media Matters) run in and attack the Black Swamp Pirates. Suave: “OH, COME ON!” Daily Kos, Krugman, Alterman, and Media Matters stomp away at the five members of the band. Suave: “THAT’S ENOUGH! WAIT! HERE COMES AVERAGE JOE AND THE AMERICAN TRUCKER!”

‘The Real Joe Six-Pack’ Average Joe and American Trucker wade in but they, too, get overwhelmed by the Angry Left Wing Bloggers. They’re beaten down. Olbermann tells the Pirates, Average Joe, and American Trucker that they’re the ‘WORST PEOPLE IN THE WORLD!” The crowd boos.

Male voice: “Olbermann, you definitely need to take your medication.” The crowd cheers. Suave: “IT’S CNN’S LOU DOBBS!” Olbermann dares Dobbs to come down. Dobbs replies that Olbermann would like that seeing as he has the numbers advantage. Dobbs: “I have something else in mind.”

*Def Leppard’s ‘Rock, Rock Til You Drop blares over the loudspeakers*

The crowd rises and cheers again. Suave: “YES! YES! IT’S THE EXTREME EQUALIZER- WHISKEY…TANGO…FOXTROT!” Crowd: “What the !@#@, what the @#$#”

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot runs down and grabs Daily Kos. Grab neck. Lift. Chokeslam. Krugman. Grab neck. Lift. Chokeslam. Alterman. Grab neck. Lift. Chokeslam. Media Matters. Grab neck. Lift. Chokeslam. Arianna runs for the hills leaving Olbermann. He tries to beg off but…grab neck. Lift. Chokeslam. Crowd: “PCW…PCW!” Suave: “WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT CLEANS HOUSE!” Dobbs holds up Average Joe and American Truckers arms.

Suave: “This just in, two more matches have been signed for PCW Extreme Election Night 2008- a North Carolina battle between Elizabeth Dole of the American Patriots vs. Kay Hagan of the Progressive Alliance.” Suave notes Dole v. Hagan should be a barn burner. Suave: “A New Hampshire brawl between the American Patriots John Sununu and Jeanne Shaheen of the Progressive Alliance? An intergender match?” Suave speculates on that and then ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann comes out. Suave: “Oh great.”

‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ MR. McMANN’S CORPORATION SEGMENT
The crowd boos as Mr. McMann, Quadruple R, Kathryn Randall Collins discuss their new ‘acquisition.’ McMann admits that his corporation needed some extra firepower, extra muscle in order to achieve their goals. But in order to that, McMann said that he needed more capital. McMann: “So, without any ado, I’d like to introduce my business partner- Gordon Guyko.” Gordon Guyko, hair slicked back, 80’s Amani suit, walks to the ring. Guyko takes the mic and proclaims to the PCW crowd that ‘greed is good. It’s really, really good.” More boos.

McMann then introduces the new members of his corporation- Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit. McMann: “It cost me a lot of money to bring these two aboard…of course, not nearly as much as it would have if it weren’t for the Wall Street crisis and the plummeting price of oil.” McMann laughs; Big Oil and Walsteit wince. McMann claims he now has the firepower to achieve his goal- the complete corporate takeover of PCW.

McMann then announces his first act- changing the upcoming match between PCW Women’s champion ‘Empress Queen of All Media’ Opal Winfree and ‘PCW Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin by substituting Kathryn Randall Collins for Martin. McMann notes that all it took was a sizable donation to PCW CEO George W’s retirement fund to make the switch. Suave: “This is total bull@#$#!”

MATCH #3 PCW WOMEN’S TITLE MATCH- ‘Empress Queen of All Media’ OPAL WINFREE © w/Opal’s Flock- New Age Sensitive Guy and Soccer Mom (Progressive Alliance) vs. KATHRYN RANDALL COLLINS aka…KRC (McMann Corporation)
Suave:
“This is so not right!” The bell rings. Winfree and Collins meet in the middle. There’s a commotion. Suave: “There’s something going on…IT’S PCW EXTREME PIZZA DELIVERY GIRL TESSA MARTIN!” Tessa slams her oversized pizza box, complete with metal road sign inside, into Big Oil’s knee. The knee buckles. Daisy whacks him in the face with a Singapore cane. Suave: “HOLY CRAP!” Quadruple R pushes Tessa down. Daisy turns and repeatedly whacks him with the Singapore cane, sending Quadruple R running for the locker room. Tequila Sheila knocks out Mr. McMann with her blender. Tessa kicks Kirk Walstreit in the balls. Daisy takes out Walstreit with a Daisy Cutter-Powerbomb. Tessa knocks out Guyko with the pizza box. KRC leans over the top rope and tries to grab at Daisy. Opal sneaks up from behind and rolls KRC up. 1…2…3.

WINNER AND STILL PCW WOMEN’S CHAMPION: ‘Empress Queen of All Media’ OPAL WINFREE

Suave: “Well, there’s a little poetic justice. WHOA!” Daisy Cutter-Bomb delivers a devastating Daisy Cutter-Powerbomb to KRC as an exclamation point. Suave runs down the card for PCW Extreme Election Night 2008 in less than a month:

-Al Franken (Progressive Alliance) vs. Norm Coleman (American Patriots) in a Minnesota Street Brawl
-Elizabeth Dole (American Patriots) vs. Kay Hagan (Progressive Alliance) in a North Carolina Catfight.
-John Sununu (American Patriots) vs. Jeanne Shaheen (Progressive Alliance) in a New Hampshire Intergender match up.
-‘The New Rookie Sensation’ O’Beck Bahama w/Barack Obama (Progressive Alliance) vs. ‘The Original Rookie Sensation’ Starz N. Stripes © w/John McCain (American Patriots) for the PCW Title.

Suave: “What? More commotion? Backstage?”
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BACKSTAGE
John McCain and Sarah Palin stand over a fallen O’Beck Bahama. On the floor is a steel folding chair. McCain has a Singapore cane in his hand. Palin- a hockey stick.

McCain and Palin walk away while Bahama clutches his ankle in extreme pain.
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Prairie Depot Press - home of the ultimate political book for Joe Six-Pack, Loose Cannons and Other Weapons of Mass Political Destruction

Thursday, October 02, 2008

9/30- PCW Extreme Political TV

Last time on PCW:

-‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann and Quadruple R lament the lack of firepower in McMann’s Corporation.

-PCW TV Champion FUBAR defeats his tag team partner SNAFU and then is attacked after the match by ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido and the ‘American Screamer’ Howard Dean. Escondido vows to bring the PCW TV belt back to the Progressive Alliance.

-MSNBC’s Keith Olbermann and Fox News’s Bill O’Reilly have another extreme encounter with each other. Olbermann’s associates, Rachel Maddow and Hardball Chris Matthews, interfere in the match which causes CNN’s Lou Dobbs, not an Olbermann fan, to run down and take out the Countdown host with a steel-folding chair. Afterwards, Dobbs tells an unconscious Olbermann ‘he may be the worst person in the world but Olbermann was the biggest douchebag a-hole in the entire universe!’

-Starz N. Stripes w/John McCain (American Patriots) and O’Beck Bahama w/Barack Obama (Progressive Alliance) meet again. Starz wins when Libertarian Bob Barr and Independent Darth (Ralph) Nader come to the ring to protest, allowing Starz to roll up Bahama for the win. In the aftermath, McCain takes Obama out with a Singapore cane shot and all hell breaks loose afterwards.

PCW EXTREME POLITICAL TV- September 30th from Bryan H.S, Bryan, Ohio
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PCW OVERVIEW (for the uninitiated)

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HOST: Johnny Suave

The crowd chants PCWPCW.

Suave: “As you might expect, Barack Obama of the Progressive Alliance was not very happy with what happened at the end of the Starz N. Stripes/O’Beck Bahama match.”

Obama comes to the ring. He states he’s had enough of John McCain’s tactics. He doesn’t know why McCain attacked him with a Singapore cane but he declares that he and the Progressive Alliance will aggressively respond from this point forward.

Sarah Palin, carrying a hockey stick, leads John McCain out to the ring. McCain tells Obama that political wrestling is tough. McCain: “This is no walk in the park. While I was held prisoner in Hanoi did I get any sympathy because I complained about ‘rough treatment? Hell no.” McCain tells Obama that he’s just upset because his inexperience cost his guy, O’Beck Bahama, a shot at the PCW belt. McCain: “Again, you couldn’t rise to the challenge to defeat Starz N. Stripes for the PCW Title.” McCain then adds that Bahama’s had enough chances and won’t receive any more title shots.

Obama responds that he likes a challenge. He says the PCW title isn’t about him- it’s about being the best. He believes O’Beck Bahama can be the best. Obama challenges McCain to one last match next month at PCW Extreme Election Night. Starz N. Stripes vs. O’Beck Bahama for the PCW Title. If Starz wins; O’Beck doesn’t get another title shot. If O’Beck wins…

McCain: “Hah. You’ve got a better chance of getting Cheech and Chong back together.”

Obama: “John. They’re back together.”

McCain: “Oh.”

MATCH #1 PCW TELEVISION CHAMPIONSHIP- FUBAR © w/Dr. Bill (Independent) vs. MICHAEL HUNT of Guys With Unfortunate First Names Given Their Surnames (Jobber)

Dr. Bill exhorts FUBAR on with his unique brand of positive self-help talk. Dr. Bill: “Don’t let him win! You win!” Suave: “Wow. How profound is that? No wonder he makes the big bucks.” Suave then mimics a retching sound.

Suave then notes that former Detroit Lions GM Matt Millen is in Michael Hunt’s corner tonight. Suave: “Apparently, Hunt is taking a page from FUBAR. I wonder if it’ll work?

The bell rings. FUBAR knees Hunt in the gut. Then he flings Hunt into his corner, knocking Millen off the ring edge onto the floor. FUBAR rolls up Hunt. 1…2….3. Suave: “Nope. Guess not.”

WINNER AND STILL PCW TELEVISION CHAMPION: FUBAR

Again, ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido and the ‘American Screamer’ Howard Dean (Progressive Alliance) attack FUBAR. Swinging neckbreaker by Escondido lays out the TV champ. Again, Escondido runs down FUBAR as a ‘glorified jobber’ and ‘talent enhancement.’ Escondido demands a title shot but Dr. Bill says no. Dean and Escondido then assault Dr. Bill but then the Jobbers aka Talent Enhancement run out. Jimmy from So Cal, the Jim Rome Clone wannabe. Snott Flemmstein. Hunt and his tag team partner Richard Headd of Guys With Unfortunate First Names Given Their Surnames. And SNAFU. The jobbers chase away Escondido and Dean.

Suave then introduces another piece by Exploding Sheep Productions.

EXPLODING SHEEP PRODUCTIONS

The Beverly Hills fundraiser for Barack Obama. An outdoor courtyard. 300 people, including stars such as Leonardo DiCaprio, Will Ferrell, Jamie Lee Curtis, and Jodie Foster, seated at 30 tables resting on a cobblestone surface. Cost- $28,500 per person for the reception. $2,500 for a concert by Barbra Streisand afterwards.

Obama finishes his remarks and leaves. The dinner continues as the black-suited waiters circulated through the grounds. One water suddenly hops on the stage and whips off his suit.

Suave: “HOLY CRAP! IT’S DEWAYNE CANTRELL!”

Cantrell, main character of J.D. Elder’s novel Loose Cannons of Buckland County and Loose Cannons and Other Weapons of Mass Political Destruction, holds up a steel-folding chair and bellows to the shocked crowd: “Surprisingly, I don't see anyone from middle class America showing up here at some Tudor-style Greystone mansion in Beverly Hills with an entry fee of $28,500 to get in so you can dine on beef filet, asparagus and salad with goat cheese with a bunch of rich elitists and then be serenaded by some over the hill singer for an additional $2,800. I guess the price tag is a little high when they're trying not to lose their house to foreclosure, trying to tread water because their wages don't keep up with $4.15 per gallon of gasoline and the ever rising cost of living!”

Cantrell then wades into the tables and starts whacking people with the steel-folding chair. Chaos breaks out. Stars flee the grounds. Someone tries to collect $28,500 from Cantrell; he eats a steel-folding chair to the noggin.

Suave: “Standing up for the little guy, one steel-folding chairshot at a time!”

MATCH #2 ‘PCW Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ TESSA MARTIN w/Daisy Cutter-Bomb and Tequila Sheila of the 3 Amigas (Independent) vs. ‘Defense Expert’ HALLIE BURTON w/Neal Conn- making foreign policy as paramount responsibility of government, seeing the need for the U.S. acting as the world's sole superpower as indispensable to establishing and maintaining global order (American Patriots)
The winner of this match gets a shot at the PCW Women’s title held by ‘Empress of All Media’ Opal Winfree (Progressive Alliance). Tessa hits a bicycle kick right after the bell rings. Burton rebounds with a belly-to-belly suplex and then slams Tessa into the corner turnbuckle. Conn pulls Tessa out of the ring and throws her against the steel guardrail. Burton then leaps from the top rope and smashes the PCW Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl hard into the guardrail. Daisy Cutter-Bomb then blasts into Burton. She powerslams Burton on the entrance ramp. Neal Conn pulls Daisy off. Tequila Sheila then knocks Conn out with her blender. Daisy throws Burton back in the ring. Tessa grabs her oversized pizza box, with a street sign inside, and clocks Burton with it. She covers and that’s the match.

WINNER: ‘PCW Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ TESSA MARTIN

Suave:
“Next week, it’ll be ‘PCW Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin vs. ‘Empress of All Media’ Opal Winfree for the PCW Women’s title.”

MR. McMANN’S CORPORATION SEGMENT
Kathryn Randall Collins…aka KRC, Quadruple R, Bradley Scott Wilson Esq., and Richard Emerson Bentley III sit as Mr. McMann tries to persuade someone (blocked from view) to join his corporation.

Suave wonders who it could be.

EXPLODING SHEEP PRODUCTIONS

Barbra Streisand profusely apologizes for DeWayne Cantrell’s attack. She promises to make it up to everyone attending the star studded $28,500 per person Obama fundraiser plus the extra $2,800 to hear Streisand sing.

The band starts to play- but it’s not one of Streisand’s classics. It’s a country sound.

Suave: “HOLY CRAP! That’s not Barbra Streisand’s band! That’s…THE BLACK SWAMP PIRATES!

The guests look on in horror as the Pirates play their hit song, “American Elitist.”

I don’t want to be an American Elitist
Don’t want to be smug, self-absorbed, and conceited
Looking down your nose while sipping cappuccino
Push your political views cause you act or hit a high note

I know it’s hard to see us when you’re up so far above
I guess we’re supposed to listen, cause you’ve got a Hollywood star
Your perks and privilege gets you places we will never see.
Your power and prestige gets you people we’ll never meet.

So Barbra Streisand, you won’t defeat us
You and the rest of the American Elitists
Just like Michael Moore, hell, you’d better believe us
Stay inside your limousine behind the tinted glass
Hide behind the velvet ropes and you can kiss our ass


I don’t want to be an American Elitist
Corporate greed feeds the rich, the rest of us simply bleed yes
Golden parachutes, they protect the big gun
While no one gives a damn about the little ones

I know it’s hard to see us when you’re up so far above
And I guess you’ve got a better way since you drive a fancy car
Your perks and privileges gets you places we will never see.
Your power and prestige gets you people we’ll never meet.

So Rush Limbaugh, you won’t defeat us
You and the rest of the American Elitists
Just like, Dick Cheney, hell you’d better believe us
Stay inside your limousine behind the tinted glass
Hide out at your country clubs and you can kiss our ass

I don’t want to be an American Elitist
Big money special interests, well they get what they need yeah
One dollar equals one vote, that’s the way the game’s played
While the rest of us watch as our dreams slowly slip away

I know it’s hard to see us when you’re up so far above
And if you’ve got the cash to pay, you get all the fun
Your perks and privileges gets you places we will never see.
Your power and prestige gets you people we’ll never meet.


Hey NRA, you won’t defeat us
You and the rest of the American Elitists

Hey you, George Soros, you’d better believe us
Stay inside your limousine behind the tinted glass
Spend your cash, buy an election and you can kiss our ass

Hey Wall Street Journal, you won’t defeat us
You and the rest of the American Elitists
Like Rolling Stone, you’d better believe us.
Stay inside your limousine behind the tinted glass
Watch us from your ivory towers and you can kiss our ass

McCAIN-OBAMA INTERVIEW FOR PCW CEO

The first of three interviews with PCW Owner Bubba Jackson to determine who will become the next PCW CEO.

McCain emphasized his experience in working with members of the Progressive Alliance to make PCW a better wrestling organization. He noted Obama’s relative inexperience as the key reasons why he would be the best choice to be the next PCW CEO.

Obama parried McCain’s remarks by calling his support of PCW CEO George W’s ‘war’ against EECW…

http://bucklandcounty.blogspot.com/2007/03/325-bcew-vs-eecw-war-ppv.html

…a grave failure of judgment. An error that caused the wrestling promotion to take its eye off the ball in improving the PCW product. Obama called McCain out of touch with modern political wrestling fans- a point that McCain disputed.

McCain: “I’ve been a wrestling fan for years and root for the underdog. I think it’s great that WCW is giving the WWF a run for their money.

Obama: “Uh, John. WCW went out of business 8 years ago and WWF is now WWE.”

McCain: “Oh…”

MATCH #3 PCW TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH- JACK SCHETT & BULL SCHETT w/Horst Schett and Hans Gruber- the German Schnauzer (Progressive Alliance) vs. A. TOM BOMB & HY DROGEN BOMB w/ Newt Tron Bomb (American Patriots)

Horst Schett takes the mic and holds up the Schnauzer. Horst: “You should all bow down to this dog. This dog is named after greatest cinematic villain of all time! Hans Gruber! GOD BLESS YOU ALAN RICKMAN!” Jack Schett then takes the mic. Jack: “IF YOU DON’T THINK THE SCHETT BROTHERS ARE THE BEST TAG TEAM IN PCW, THEN YOU DON’T KNOW JACK SCHETT!” The crowd starts chanting ‘bulls###...bulls###!” Bull: “See? Listen to them chant for me.”

Suave: “Ah, no. I don’t think that’s they’re doing.”

The bell rings A-Bomb and Jack Schett to begin. Trading chops by A-Bomb and Jack Schett. Jack clips the leg to take control. Leg lariat follows and A-Bomb powers back up. They trade chops again. Bull Schett tags in. Elbows to A-Bomb and a knee to the back. Belly to belly suplex by Bull and a cover for 2. Elbows again by Bull. He tries for the roaring elbow but misses and gets hung up in the ropes. H-Bomb gets a stun gun from the outside. Jack Schett runs over and gets into it with H-Bomb.

Sarah Palin, John McCain’s choice for his aide de camp, joins Suave at the broadcast table along with two other people. Suave asks who the men are. They respond that they are McCain’s handlers and here to help Palin answer Suave’s questions. Suave first asks Palin how she’s doing. The handlers whisper into Palin’s ear and then she answers that she’s fine. Suave asks her about the PCW CEO race. McCain’s handlers again whisper in Palin’s ear. Palin responds that it’s a race between two people to lead PCW. Suave: “I know. What’s your thoughts about the race?” More input from the handlers. Palin seems confused, then responds that the Iditarod Dog Sled race is one of Alaska’s biggest events and then adds, “You can see Russia from Alaska.” Suave: “O-kay. Let’s get back to the match.”

H-Bomb trades chops and then hits a Russian leg sweep. H-Bomb off the ropes and backdrops Bull. Jack in, H-Bomb gives him a back breaker. Bull gets back up and kicks off H-Bomb's head. Cover for 2. Jack tags in and lays the boots to H-Bomb in the corner. Horst with a cheap shot on H-Bomb and pulls him to the floor. Horst tosses him to the barricade. Bull gets a cheap shot as well. Horst sics Hans Gruber on it H-Bomb. The dog leaps up and attacks H-Bomb in the balls.

Suave: “HOLY CRAP!” H-Bomb spins wildly, trying to get the dog’s jaws to let go. A-Bomb runs in and hits a running bulldog on Jack Schett. A-Bomb to the top turnbuckle and leaps on Bull Schett. Kick to the face by A-Bomb. Horst Schett then orders Hans Gruber to attack A-Bomb. The dog pulls off H-Bomb and leaps at A-Bomb. A-Bomb grabs a steel folding chair and blasts the poor animal in the face with it. Suave: “HOLY CRAP!” The dog drops.

Horst is horrified. Bull throws A-Bomb back into the ring and Jack just lays in the kicks in the corner. Forearm and elbows by Jack and a cover for 2. More chops by Jack and then he climbs up the top turnbuckle. Horst hands him a brick and Jack places it in the rear of his trunks. Suave: “He’s going for their finisher- the ‘Schett-Brick!’” Newt Tron Bomb hits the ring and pulls A-Bomb out of the way. Jack misses and lands hard on his ass in the ring.

Suave: “Jack Schett in major pain. I betcha those brick shards don’t feel real good…HERE COMES ARIANNA HUFFINGTON AND THE ANGRY LEFT-WING BLOGGERS!” Huffington directs Daily Kos, Media Matters for America, Eric Alterman, and Paul Krugman into the ring. Daily Kos tosses A-Bomb to the floor and Media Matters and Alterman start kicking away. Alterman chokes out A-Bomb and puts him on a table. Then as A-Bomb lay on the table, Daily Kos gets a running start and puts A-Bomb through the table.

H-Bomb staggers back into the ring and flops on the canvas. Senton by Jack, knee drop by Bull and a cover. One…two…Sarah Palin leaps from her chair and whacks Bull in the back with the hockey stick. Suave: “PALIN STOPS THE COUNT!…AND HERE COMES THE RIGHT-WING BRIGADE!” Rush Limbaugh, Ann Coulter, Sean Hannity, Michelle Malkin, and Glenn Beck race down. Rights by Limbaugh, chops by Malkin and then an Enziguri takes out Jack Schett. Palin wades into the Angry Left Wing bloggers and starts swinging away. Horst revives Hans Gruber and sic the Schnauzer on the Right Wingers. Palin chases Huffington and the Angry Left Wing bloggers to the back. Hans Gruber chases the Right Wing Brigaders to the back.

Both Bull Schett and H-Bomb are out in the ring. Jack Schett is hurt and lying outside the ring. A-Bomb is unconscious in the ruins of the table. Suave: “Now what? Wait! Here comes Barack Obama.” Obama comes to the ring and rolls Bull over towards H-Bomb. Suave: “JOHN McCAIN’S RUNNING IN TO STOP HIM!” McCain reaches the ring but suddenly stops when a pair of hands from under the ring grabs his leg. Suave: “What the…IT’S JOE BIDEN!” Obama puts Bull on H-Bomb. The referee counts. 1-2-3.

WINNER AND STILL PCW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: JACK SCHETT and BULL SCHETT (Progressive Alliance)

Suave: “What a match! The Progressive Alliance get a huge win tonight! We’ll see you next week!”



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