Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Franken vs. Coleman II Signed for 11/25 PCW Extreme Political TV, The Rise of Domination Inc.

11/13- PCW Newsline

No one can forget the absolute war that Norm Coleman and Al Franken fought at PCW Extreme Election Night 2008- an intense hardcore brawl that saw new levels of brutality.

Coleman vs. Franken at PCW Extreme Election Night 2008

Franken nails Coleman with a road sign. He next pulls out a cheese grater and rubs it across Coleman’s forehead. Suave: “CHEESE GRATER! CHEESE GRATER! COLEMAN IS BADLY BUSTED OPEN!” Franken pulls a ladder from underneath the ring and clock Coleman with it. Franken grabs a garbage can and drops toe holds Coleman onto it. Cover. Two count. Coleman staggers back up and Franken knocks him right back out with a steel chair. Crowd: "HOLY S@#$#... HOLY S@#$#." Franken puts Coleman on top of the ladder and climbs up on the corner turnbuckle. Franken leaps off the turnbuckle and crushes Coleman on the metal ladder. Crowd: "HOLY S@#$#... HOLY S@#$#." Franken covers. 1…2…3.

However, Franken would find out that Coleman still had plenty of fight left in him…

Afterwards…in the parking lot

Al Franken opens up his car door. He starts to get into his car when Norm Coleman slams the door shut on Franken’s left leg. Coleman opens the car door and pulls Franken out. Franken to the ground. Coleman kicks at Franken’s left leg. He kneels down and starts swinging away. Coleman drags Franken up and whips him headfirst into the driver’s side window. Franken staggers back and his left leg gives out. Coleman again pulls him back up and whips him headfirst into the window. Franken slides down the side of the car. Coleman then opens the door and rams it into Franken’s head. Franken is dragged back into his car with his left leg hanging out again. Coleman slams the car door repeatedly against Franken’s leg.

Political Championship Wrestling announces: Al Franken vs. Norm Coleman- the rematch- will take place on the November 25th PCW Extreme Political TV.

After taking a savage beating on his leg, will Franken be ready for Coleman? Can Coleman take advantage of Franken’s leg? We’ll find out November 25th.

Also, a little housecleaning.

Monday 11/17- PCW Newsline: The American Patriots in disarray

Tuesday 11/20- Replay- PCW Extreme Election Night 2008

Monday 11/24- PCW Newsline: Preview of Coleman vs. Franken II

Tuesday 11/25- PCW Extreme Political TV

The Rise of Domination, Inc.

Let’s go back to the end of PCW Extreme Election Night 2008…

Obama and McCain shake hands and then Obama takes the mic. Obama: “Bubba Jackson. I humbly accept the position of CEO of Political Championship Wrestling.” The crowd stands and cheers. Obama: “We have a lot of work to do to improve PCW and I plan to hit the ground running on January 20th to..OOOOF.” Suave: “QUADRUPLE R…QUADRUPLE R JUST ATTACKED BARACK OBAMA!” Big Oil runs in and chokeslams Starz N. Stripes. Suave: “IT’S THE McMANN CORPORATION! KIRK WALSTREIT AND ROUGH JUSTICE CLEAR THE RING. QUADRUPLE R HAS A CHAIR! *CLANG*” O’Beck Bahama falls to the canvas. Chairshot. Chairshot. Chairshot. Suave: “SOMEONE STOP HIM!” Big Oil chokeslams Starz N. Stripes a second time.

*Def Leppard’s Rock, Rock Til You Drop blares*

Suave: “YES! HELP IS ON THE WAY!” The Extreme Enforcer Whiskey Tango Foxtrot again runs down to the ring. He climbs in and gets in Quadruple R’s grill. Then WTF turns and power bombs O’Beck Bahama. Suave: “WHAT? I…I…I’M SPEECHLESS!” WTF powerbombs Bahama a second time. Then he spots the
PCW Owner Bubba Jackson. Suave: “Oh…my…God. No…no…” Bubba tries to back up but WTF grabs him by the throat. Lift. Chokeslam. Suave: “HOLY CRAP!” The Hack’s crowd boos echo throughout the bar.

‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann takes the mic. Mr. McMann: “Ladies and gentlemen, I’d like to announce that the McMann Corporation has undergone a name change. From this date forward, you can call us……DOMINATION, INCORPORATED!” More boos. Mr. McMann: “Our Mission Statement is pretty simple and to the point: ‘Domination Inc. will facilitate the complete and total takeover of Political Championship Wrestling by any and all means.” Louder boos now. Mr. McMann: “We’ve got two of the belts now. O’Beck Bahama- enjoy yours while you can. Now that we have our new Corporate Enforcer on board- Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, we’re coming after the title and there’s nothing you or Barack Obama or anyone else here can do to stop up. Once we secure the
PCW Title belt, we will rule PCW.”

This isn’t the first time ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann has tried to take over PCW. Back when PCW was BCEW, Johnny Suave had this to say in March 2007 before the BCEW vs. EECW pay per view:

Suave recaps how we got here. Seg McMann’s first appearance in BCEW. His infatuation with BCEW Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl Tessa Martin that started at BCEW Lock and Load. The inglorious “Seg McMann Kiss My Ass’s Ass Club” debacle at the BCEW Christmas Extravaganza. The shocking betrayal at the 1/17 edition of BCEW Extreme Political TV that saw BCEW lose it’s cable show to Seg McMann and Extremely Extreme Corporate Wrasslin, the stunning attack on BCEW champion, Justin Sufferable, and former champ, ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido- the twin towers of BCEW, and the revelation at BCEW At War- part one that both Sufferable and Escondido would be out for a year due to severe knee injuries.

Suave: “On BCEW At War- Part 2, Seg McMann appeared to lay down a challenge to BCEW.”

REPLAY FROM BCEW AT WAR- PART TWO
Seg McMann’s face again appears on the big screen TV while the brawl moves towards the back. McMann calls out George W and says it’s time to choose.

George W’s mariachi band appears and leads the BCEW CEO down the aisle. Suave: “He’s coming out to answer the challenge of the so-called sports entertainment genius, Seg McMann!” W climbs into the ring followed by Dick and the Mastermind Karl Rove. Rove points to his temple to remind us all that he’s a frickin’ genius. W takes the mic. George W: “Seg. I have just three words for you. BRING IT ON!”

And then, the end of BCEW vs. EECW…

THE END OF BCEW VS. EECW

Triple R taunts Starz and doesn’t see two people hobble into the ring behind him. Suave: “YES! IT’S JUSTIN SUFFERABLE AND ‘NO FRILLS’ CHRIS ESCONDIDO!” Triple R turns just in time to see Sufferable clock him in the head with his crutch, knocking the jumper cables out of his hand. The crowd chants ‘welcome back!...welcome back!” Lashaway gets up and tries to get to the cables before A-Bomb but Escondido hops over and grabs the jumpers before Lashaway can. He zaps Lashaway- he’s out. Both Starz and Lashaway are unconscious. The ref is too. Sufferable and Escondido celebrate in the ring. George W and Seg look at each other quizzically. The people in the ring look totally confused.

Suave: “THAT FREAKIN’ JUDAS, TRIPLE R, BETRAYS BCEW! WHO
WON TONIGHT? WHO THE HELL KNOWS! IT’S ALL A FREAKIN’ MESS!”

McMann came close in 2007 to taking over BCEW. After being away for a year, McMann made his surprise return May 19th, 2008 on PCW Extreme Political TV.

5/19/08 PCW Extreme Political TV- Mr. McMann returns…

Mr. McMann attempts to apologize for everything that led up to the BCEW-EECW war in March, 2007 and asks for a second chance to show his ‘genius.’ W thinks about it. Then he tells Mr. McMann he’ll allow him to come back if he can win a special match against an opponent of his choosing. Mr. McMann accepts.

Mr. McMann stands in the ring waiting for his opponent.
PCW Ring Announcer Charlene Ann Beckworth announces that his opponent will be…PCW Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl Tessa Martin! The crowd cheers as Tessa comes to the ring with her specially retrofitted oversized pizza box. Her 3 Amiga compadres Daisy Cutter-Bomb and Tequila Sheila accompany her.

MATCH #2 “Sports Entertainment Genius” MR. McMANN vs. “
PCW Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl” TESSA MARTIN of the 3 Amigas w/Daisy Cutter-Bomb and Tequila Sheila
Mr. McMann smiles at Tessa. Tessa’s glare could bore through steel. McMann: “Hey. You’re not still upset about the fact that I stalked you and later had you hypnotized on the old BCEW Cable show to make you do a striptease, are you?” She raises her eyebrows at him. McMann: “I’m just here to let bygones be bygones. Let’s just shake hands and start all over, okay?” Mr. McMann extends his hand. Tessa kicks him in the balls. Daisy Cutter-Bomb then tosses Tessa the oversized pizza box and she blasts Mr. McMann in the kisser with it. Suave: “Nope. Guess not.” She puts her foot on McMann’s chest and gets the pin.

WINNER: ‘
PCW Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ TESSA MARTIN

Tessa turns and leaves Mr. McMann unconscious in the middle of the ring. Suave: “Well, if that’s not a feel good moment, I don’t know what is.”

After that auspicious start, Mr. McMann began to put together his new project- the McMann Corporation. First- Quadruple R and Kathryn Randall Collins. But things still weren’t going their way. On October 7th, McMann announced the acquisition of Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit. On the 14th, Daisy Cutter-Bomb of the 3 Amigas turned on her teammate ‘PCW Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin and joined McMann’s Corporation.

10/14-PCW Extreme Political TV: #1 CONTENDER’S MATCH FOR THE PCW WOMEN’S TITLE: ‘PCW Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ TESSA MARTIN w/Daisy Cutter-Bomb and Tequila Sheila (3 Amigas) vs. KATHRYN RANDALL COLLINS…aka KRC w/Mr. McMann, Big Oil, Kirk Walstreit, Quadruple R, and Gordon Guyko (McMann’s Corporation)

KRC advances on Tessa. Tessa calls for her oversized pizza box. Daisy Cutter-Bomb climbs out and grabs the box. KRC gets closer. Tessa again calls for the box. Daisy climbs up on the apron, raises the box, and then blasts Tessa in the face with it. Suave: “HOLY CRAP! SHE…SHE…I DON’T BELIEVE IT. DAISY CUTTER-BOMB JUST DOUBLECROSSED THE PCW EXTREME PIZZA DELIVERY GIRL!” Daisy climbs in the ring and gives Tessa a Daisy Cutter Power-bomb. The PCW Arena crowd can’t believe it. Johnny Suave can’t believe it. KRC sticks her foot on Tessa’s chest and that’s all.

The moves paid off immediately on the October 21st PCW Extreme Political TV.

10/21-PCW Extreme Political TV: #1 CONTENDER’S MATCH FOR THE PCW WOMEN’S TITLE: ‘PCW Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ TESSA MARTIN w/Daisy Cutter-Bomb and Tequila Sheila (3 Amigas) vs. KATHRYN RANDALL COLLINS…aka KRC w/Mr. McMann, Big Oil, Kirk Walstreit, Quadruple R, and Gordon Guyko (McMann’s Corporation)

Suave: “Here we go. This one should be a doozy. The winner gets a shot at the PCW Tag Team belts in two weeks.” Suave also notes that it’s weird to see Daisy Cutter-Bomb in the opposite corner of her brothers A-Bomb, H-Bomb, and N-Bomb. The bell rings. A-Bomb and Big Oil lock up. Suave: “Hold on! Quadruple R in the ring…*WHAP* HOLY CRAP! That was a sickening chairshot on A-Bomb. H-Bomb’s in the ring…Ruff and Justice are in the ring. Newt Tron Bomb is in the ring. IT’S CHAOS!” Big Oil plants A-Bomb with an Oklahoma Driller. Suave: “HOLY CRAP! And now, Ruff has a taser…HE JUST TASERED H-BOMB! DAWN McGILL IS LYING ON THE FLOOR OUTSIDE THE RING. SHE’S BEEN ASSAULTED BY DAISY CUTTER-BOMB! WALSTREIT GIVES H-BOMB THE STOCK MARKET PLUNGE! THIS IS CARNAGE!”

Big Oil drags A-Bomb up and Daisy climbs into the ring with a
Singapore cane. Suave: “WAIT A MINUTE! DAISY’S NOT GOING TO…NOT TO HER OWN BROTHER…*THWACK* CANE SHOT! CANE SHOT! A-BOMB IS BLEEDING PROFUSELY!” Big Oil throws A-Bomb down and gets the easy cover. 1…2…3.

At PCW Extreme Election Night 2008, the McMann Corporation struck pay dirt…twice…

Ending of PCW Tag Team Title Match
JACK SCHETT and
BULL SCHETT © w/Horst Schett and Hans Gruber- the Extreme German Schnauzer (Progressive Alliance)
vs. BIG
OIL w/Texas Tex and KIRK WALSTREIT- the Man with the Man Crush on ESPN’s Kirk Walstreit w/the McMann Corporation (McMann Corporation)

In the ring, chokeslam by Big Oil on Jack Schett. Bull Schett powerbombs Kirk Walstreit. Big Oil and Bull then go at it. Suave: “QUADRUPLE R’S IN THE RING. HE’S GOT A CHAIR *CLANG* HOLY CRAP! HE BENT THAT CHAIR ON BULL SCHETT’S SKULL!” Bull down. Ruff throws Big Oil one of the Schett’s bricks. Jack is back up and stumbling around the ring. Suave: “OH, NO! NO, NO, NO! *WHAP* HOLY CRAP!” Big Oil breaks the brick over Jack Schett’s head. The brick explodes on impact and Jack’s out. Big Oil covers. 1…2…3. Suave: “WE’VE GOT NEW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!”

Ending of PCW Women’s Title Match
KATHRYN RANDALL COLLINS aka
KRC w/The McMann Corporation (McMann Corporation)
vs. ‘Empress Queen of All Media’ OPAL WINFREE © w/Barack Obama and Opal’s Flock- New Age Sensitive Guy and Soccer Mom)

KRC staggers backwards. Atomic drop by Opal. Body slam. Leg drop. Opal launches herself backwards into the ropes. Daisy jumps on the ring apron and throws Opal a chair. *WHAP* Suave: “VAN DAMINATOR! VAN DAMINATOR! KRC JUST KICKED THAT CHAIR INTO OPAL’S FACE! Opal’s in trouble!” Barack Obama is on the ring apron and shouting encouragement to a woozy Winfree. Suave: “DAISY CUTTER-BOMB IN THE RING! HOLY CRAP! DAISY CUTTER POWER-BOMB ON OPAL WINFREE! KRC FOR THE COVER. ONE…TWO…NO! HERE COMES THE CLINTON POLITICAL PITBULLS!” James Carville and Paul Begala hit the ring and double team clotheslines Daisy Cutter-Bomb. Big Oil climbs into the ring and grabs Begala from behind. Suave: “Oh, oh. This isn’t good for Paul Begala.” Grab throat. Lift. Chokeslam. Begala bounces off the canvas. Carville tries to get out while the getting’s good. Big Oil drags him back in. Grab throat. Lift. Chokeslam. Daisy lifts Opal up again for another Daisy Cutter Power-Bomb. Obama jumps in the ring and tries to stop her. Quadruple R grabs Obama and whips him into the corner. Daisy up and wham! Daisy Cutter Power-Bomb. KRC calls for a table. Kirk Walstreit slides it in and KRC sets it up. Daisy drags Opal up one more time. Suave: “THEY’RE GOING TO DO IT AGAIN!” Opal up. Daisy Cutter Power-Bomb through the table. Crowd:PCWPCW!” KRC calls for another table. Suave: “WHAT? JUST PIN HER ALREADY!” Again, Walstreit slides in a table. KRC sets up on the top rope corner turnbuckle. Daisy drags Opal over to her and sets her up. Suave: “OPAL’S SET. HERE COMES SOCCER MOM. DAISY GRABS HER! DAISY CUTTER POWER-BOMB! DDT THROUGH THE TABLE ON THE PCW WOMEN'S CHAMPION!” Crowd: “THIS MATCH RULES! (clap clap clap-clap-clap) THIS MATCH RULES (clap clap clap-clap-clap) Suave: “DAISY CUTTER-BOMB JUST OBLITERATED SOCCER MOM WITH A DAISY CUTTER POWER-BOMB. THEN KRC DDT’S OPAL FROM THE TOP ROPE THROUGH THE TABLE! KRC COVERS… ONE…TWO…THREE! THAT’S IT! WE’VE GOT A NEW PCW WOMEN’S CHAMPION!”

Now, McMann has his sights on the PCW title.

Mr. McMann: “Ladies and gentlemen, I’d like to announce that the McMann Corporation has undergone a name change. From this date forward, you can call us……DOMINATION, INCORPORATED!” More boos. Mr. McMann: “Our Mission Statement is pretty simple and to the point: ‘Domination Inc. will facilitate the complete and total takeover of Political Championship Wrestling by any and all means.” Louder boos now. Mr. McMann: “We’ve got two of the belts now. O’Beck Bahama- enjoy yours while you can. Now that we have our new Corporate Enforcer on board- Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, we’re coming after the title and there’s nothing you or Barack Obama or anyone else here can do to stop up. Once we secure the PCW Title belt, we will rule PCW.”

Will Mr. McMann take over PCW?

And even though he hasn’t taken office yet, it appears the incoming PCW CEO Barack Obama may have a huge problem on his hands when he takes power in January.

How will these events play out? Tune in and find out…

1 comment:

David Funk said...

LOL!!!!! I'm glad to see someone else doing this as well! Some very funny parodies!

This site has instantly become one of my favorite reads out there!

This is a masterpiece of blogging!