Sunday, June 15, 2008

PCW remembers Tim Russert

Political Championship Wrestling would like to extend our condolences to the family of political reporter and host of NBC’s Meet the Press, Tim Russert.

Russert was a giant in the industry, a true professional, and one of the few in the political punditry game who truly called it right down the middle. Simply put, one of the best- ever. Russert will be surely missed.

Russert wasn’t a political extremist and thus, made only two appearances back when PCW was Buckland County Extreme Wrestling aka…BCEW.

From February 7th, 2007’s BCEW At War- Part one. This came out during the whole Valerie Plame, Bob Novak, Scooter Libby scandal.

Match #2- SCOOTER LIBBY VS. TIM RUSSERT w/Joe Wilson, guest referee
Suave: “Our feature match this week will be very interesting. I’m not sure just how partial Joe Wilson is going to be. The last time I checked, he’s still pissed off at Libby spilling the beans about his wife being a secret agent and all to Bob Novak.” The match doesn’t even get underway before Libby’s attorney comes out to the ring. He states he won’t allow the match to take place because Joe Wilson is biased against his client. The attorney and Wilson get into each other’s face and jaw at each other. He pushes Wilson out of the way, whips off his shirt, and then goes after Tim Russert. Suave: “What the hell is going on? The bell just rang!” Libby climbs out of the ring as his attorney and Russert lock up to start the match and Russert uses his weight advantage to back Libby’s attorney into the corner. They slug it out and then Libby’s attorney gets the advantage when he knees him in the gut. Then he goes on the offensive. Clothesline. Libby’s attorney then connects with a delayed vertical suplex. Libby’s attorney tries a D.C. Insider Slam, but Russert slips out and drops the attorney over the top rope. Libby comforts the attorney and he climbs back into the ring. Libby’s attorney aggressively throws Russert shoulder first into the ring post. Russert slips to the outside and Libby follows and tries to throws Russert into the outside ring post. Russert again can’t be pinned down and Libby’s attorney falls onto the steel steps.
Suave: “Wow! Scooter Libby’s attorney is throwing everything but the kitchen sink at Tim Russert. But Russert keeps shrugging it off.” Russert breaks the count and shoves Libby’s attorney into the ring apron. Then he lifts Libby’s attorney up and throws him back in the ring. Russert comes off the ropes and gets smacked in the face by Libby’s attorney who tries to go back on the offensive. He tries a reverse gut wrench and some shots to Russert’s back. Again, Russert slips away and whips the attorney into the corner. Libby’s attorney rushes out and gets booted. Irish whip by Libby’s attorney, Russert sidesteps him again and he runs into the turnbuckle. Russert locks in a single leg crab and then turns it into a modified STF. Using his weight advantage again, Russert rolls over and pancakes Libby. Suddenly Scooter Libby jumps in the ring and nails Russert from behind. Suave: “IT’S TWO ON ONE NOW AND RUSSERT’S OUTNUMBERED!”Joe Wilson finally asserts himself into the match and tries to push Libby out of the ring. Libby pushes Wilson off the ropes and the former Ambassador runs into a belly-to-belly suplex by Libby’s attorney. Wilson is down. Winded, Russert takes his time and charges with a clothesline. He gets drilled with some punches and then Libby and his attorney hit a doubleteam huge back body drop. Libby slaps on the camel clutch and Russert tries to fight out. The problem is Russert is stuck in the middle of the ring. Suave: “This could be it!...Hold on!...IT’S VALERIE PLAME!” The crowd cheers as Plame slides in the ring behind Libby’s attorney and kicks him in the balls. Suave: “HOLY CRAP!” Libby’s attorney flops to the canvas. Libby breaks the hold on Russert and goes after Plame. He backs her into a corner and grabs her by the hair. Russert pulls himself up, sees Libby, and runs in and rolls him up from behind. Joe Wilson counts Libby out.
Libby and Libby’s attorney are furious after losing the match. Suave: “Scooter Libby and his attorney’s plan was to rattle the veteran Tim Russert. But like the claim that Niger was processing uranium, their hopes were unfounded.”

And this one from the October 4th, 2006 edition of BCEW Extreme Political TV…Russert was the guest referee in a hot battle between Ohio’s Sherrod Brown (Progressive Alliance) and Mike DeWine (American Patriots):

Sherrod Brown Promo
Brown states he’s here in BCEW tonight to put to rest the notion that Mike DeWine is an independent thinker. “Mike DeWine is such an independent thinker,” Brown says, “that he’s independently kissed BCEW CEO George W’s ass 92% of the time! Brown adds that the fans should support him tonight because they can trust him, not Mike DeWine. “I’m more like you,” Brown argues, “I’m going to outsource Mike DeWine to another country just like all the jobs in the small business sector that have been lost!”

Mike DeWine Promo
DeWine comes out and essentially says that Sherrod Brown is too extreme even for Buckland County Extreme Wrestling. DeWine claims Brown has a problem with reality. “You want me,” DeWine says, “you got me. The reality is that the only ass that’s going to get kissed tonight is mine after I give you a good old fashioned extreme trip to the woodshed.”

Sherrod Brown comes to the ring led by the leader of the Progressive Alliance ‘The American Screamer’ Howard Dean. Mike DeWine is accompanied by Dr. Bill Frist-Medicine Guy of the American Patriots. “This is going to be interesting,” opines Suave, “there’s a lot riding on this as we head toward the November pay per view ‘BCEW Extreme Election Night 2006!” Suave notes that Independent Joe Lieberman and the Progressive Alliance’s Ned Lamont have already signed on for the pay per view.
Match #3 Mike DeWine of the American Patriots vs. Sherrod Brown of the Progressive Alliance with Tim Russert as the guest referee
Both men ignore referee Tim Russert’s attempt to have them shake hands and it begins. Brown drags DeWine out of the ring and slams him into the guardrail. DeWine counters, blocks a suplex, and drapes Brown across the guardrail. DeWine attempts a spin kick from the ring apron. Brown moves out of the way and DeWine crashes right-knee-first into the rail. The American Screamer Howard Dean interjects himself into the match and helps Brown pick up the ring steps and try to slam them into DeWine's head. DeWine just ducks out of the way and the steps bounce back and blasts Howard Dean in the face. “HOLY CRAP!” Suave shouts as Dean is busted open. “DEAN CAUGHT THAT FULL FORCE!” A ‘BCEW’ chant started. DeWine flings Brown into the steel barricade again and then leaps and clotheslines him. DeWine reaches under the ring and pulls out a table. He sets it up on the outside and lifts The American Screamer in the air. Russert tries to stop him but DeWine suplexes Dean through the table. “WOW! I think Howard Dean could be dead,” Suave says as The American Screamer lies in a heaping pile of wood that used to be a table.Brown and DeWine brawl near the apron. Brown blocks a suplex attempt then does a sunset flip over DeWine. Russert counts another near pinfall for the Progressive Alliance. Then a woman walks to ringside. “WHO’S THAT?” Suave says, “Wait a minute! THAT’S HILLARY CLINTON! WHAT IS SHE DOING OUT HERE!” Clinton sprays something in DeWine’s eyes. “SHE JUST MACED MIKE DeWINE!,” Suave shouts out. Brown rolls DeWine back into the ring as the crowd chants, "Hillary sucks." Brown goes for the cover…Russert starts counting. “One, two…NO! IT’S THE STRAIGHT SHOOTER JOHN McCAIN!” Suave shrieks, “McCAIN BREAKS UP THE COUNT!” McCain then hits Brown with a mule kick for good measure and quickly exits.Brown throws DeWine to the outside and works on DeWine's right knee. Dr. Bill Frist-Medicine Guy frantically waves to the back for help. Suddenly from the front section races down the Rookie Sensation Starz N. Stripes. Starz plows into Hillary from behind and sends her into the steel barricade. “THE ROOKIE SENSATION CLEANS HOUSE ON THE OUTSIDE!” Suave says as Brown and DeWine continue to brawl in the ring. The crowd is rocking at this point as someone else runs down to the ring. “NOW WHAT? IT’S JUSTIN SUFFERABLE!” Suave says as the Sufferable whacks Starz in the back with a Singapore cane. “TIM RUSSERT’S LOST TOTAL CONTROL OF THIS MATCH!” Suave shouts as Starz N. Stripes and DeWine battles Justin Sufferable and Brown outside the ring. The crowd rises up when the BCEW champion Chris Escondido appears in the back. Escondido races to the ring and flattens Justin Sufferable. “IT’S JUST A MESS NOW!” Suave exclaims as all hell breaks loose and the locker room for both factions run to the ring.

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