Thursday, April 26, 2007

4/25- BCEW Extreme Political TV

LAST TIME ON BCEW EXTREME POLITICAL TV
-BCEW World Champion Triple R cuts a promo and trashes BCEW and claims he’s going to Extremely Extreme Corporate Wrasslin’ with Seg McMann and dump the belt in a garbage can.
-BCEW owner Bubba Jackson came and fired CEO George W, aide de camp-Dick, and ‘The Mastermind’ Karl Rove
-Jackson then stripped BCEW World Champion Triple R (Road Ragin’ Randy) of his title
-Jackson named the Manager of Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon, Gina Ramsey, interim CEO of BCEW much to the chagrin of Queen Nancy Pelosi of the Progressive Alliance
-George W gets the last laugh of the night when he helps ‘Swift Boatin’ Sam Fox get over Massachusetts Blueblood JFK John Kerry

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BCEW owner Bubba Jackson and Interim BCEW CEO Gina Ramsey sit at the bar at Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon and have a beer. Jackson tells Gina that it’s time to shake things up a bit. Gina asks him what he’s got in mind. Bubba: “Gina. It’s something big.” He tells her he’ll make the announcement at the end of today’s edition of BCEW Extreme TV.


BCEW announcer Johnny Suave welcomes everyone to Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon in Westville, Ohio. Suave notes Bubba Jackson’s big announcement at the end of the show. He also notes that there’s been a lot of ‘strange happenings’ in BCEW of late and then cuts to a replay of an incident from a couple weeks back.


Former morning talk show and MSNBC host Don Imus comes out and apologizes yet again for referring to the Rutgers women’s basketball team as ‘nappy-headed hos.’ Imus begins to beg for forgiveness, again, when Corporate World (Richard Emerson Brantley III and Bradley Scott Wilson) come out. Suave seems surprised and wonders what the hell they’re doing out there. Brantley tells Imus the comments he made were unacceptable. Wilson explains that because of his comments, the show’s sponsors cancelled their business with him. Suave: “They’re both stinkin’ hypocrites. Just typical. They want their personalities to be edgy and toe very close to crossing the line but if they actually do it, watch out!” Suave also notes that the only reason Imus lost his job was because of money- the sponsors leaving his show.

Snoop Dog then comes out. Suave: “Whoa. This could get interesting.” Snoop tells Imus that the Rutgers women’s basketball team may have forgiven him, but he hasn’t. Snoop Dog: “You can’t say those things.” Snoop clubs Imus over the head with a steel-folding chair. “We’re only allowed to say those things!” Then he kicks away at him. Suave: “Oh come on! Talk about a double standard!” Corporate World then joins in the beatdown.


Backstage, Triple R (Road Ragin’ Randy) and Extreme Attorneys Felcher and Felcher argue their case to Gina Ramsey in her office. Felcher and Felcher claim that Bubba Jackson acted improperly when he stripped Triple R of the BCEW title. Felcher and Felcher also state that Bubba violated Triple R’s right to free speech. Gina then pulls out the contract and points out the specific passage that indicated that if a BCEW wrestler publicly stated he was leaving to go to a different wrestling company that his contract would be immediately voided. She then read from the contract. “If any current BCEW titleholder announces his or her intention to leave BCEW, he or she then immediately vacates the title.”

Triple R is furious. Felcher and Felcher desperately try to spin it differently. Gina holds firm and the attorneys realize that Triple R is screwed. R Felcher: “So, now what?” Gina asks Triple R if he wishes to remain in BCEW. After a long pause and a quick consultation with Felcher and Felcher, Triple R nods yes like a shamed school kid who’d been held in for recess. Gina hands Triple R a thick application packet and tells him he needs to fill it out. Gina gets up and leaves. Triple R sits there with a stunned look on his face and a ton of paperwork in his lap.


A quick cut away to the back. Former BCEW CEO George W arrives at Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon with his aide de camp, Dick, and ‘The Mastermind’ Karl Rove. George W immediately heads to the bathroom.


MATCH #1 THE GREEN WORLD ORDER- VEGAN BROCK COLE LEE AND GREENPETE w/Sheryl Crow (Progressive Alliance) VS. POLITICALLY INCORRECT- AL CAHALL AND NIC KOTEEN (Independent)
Politically Incorrect walk out from the main floor onto the stage to enter the ring. The Green World Order come out to boos from the Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon crowd. But, the GWO has a special guest with them tonight- musician and activist Sheryl Crow. The crowd kind of cheers for her. Crow then gets on the mic and tells everyone that the world would be a much better place if everyone used only one square sheet of toilet paper when they went to the bathroom. Nic Koteen: “Hell, honey. Sometimes, I go through a whole ROLL of toilet paper when I use the head.” The brief cheers turn to boos for Crow.

Bell rings and the match begins with Brock Cole Lee and Al Cahall in the ring. Lee with a takedown on Cahall, but Cahall elbows the Vegan's face. Lee slams Cahall around and then tags Greenpete in. Greenpete drops an elbow of his own on Cahall. They brawl back and forth until Cahall tags in Nic Koteen. Koteen sets Greenpete up for top rope leg drop but Crow pushes Koteen off the rope and into the steel guardrail outside. Greenpete goes on the attack on the outside with several vicious chops to Koteen. Cahall races around the ring and quickly all four men are going at it. Cahall smashes a beer bottle over Brock Cole Lee’s head- Lee staggers around the outside. Greenpete clobbers Koteen with a steel-folding chair and then throws him back in the ring. Greenpete sets Koteen up for the kill and then someone throws a roll of toilet paper into the ring. The TP unrolls as it skips across the ring. Sheryl Crow is appalled and immediately climbs into the ring. Suave: “Wait a minute! What the hell is SHE doing in the ring?” Crow tries to roll the toilet paper back up. In the process, Greenpete lifts Koteen up to deliver his finisher and trips backwards over Crow. Koteen lands on top of Greenpete. The ref counts out the 1-2-3 and Politically Correct gets the win.

WINNER: POLITICALLY INCORRECT (Independent)

After the match, Crow gets jumped by ‘The Mastermind’ Karl Rove who drives her into the corner turnbuckle. Stunned, Crow slides down into the corner. Rove points to his temple to remind everyone, yet again, just what a freakin’ genius he is. Then out of nowhere, Laurie David runs in and kicks Rove in the balls. Then Crow and David deliver a doubleteam drop kick that sends Rove through the ropes and out of the ring. Suave: “Good match and great ending. We’re off to a good start this week.” Suave then preps everyone for the upcoming main event, another tag team match up featuring Union Jac and DLC of the Progressive Alliance vs. Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit of the American Patriots.


Union Jac of the Progressive Alliance cuts a promo denouncing BCEW Interim CEO Gina Ramsey for ‘unfair labor practices’ because she made Triple R go through the entire new hire process again. He rails against the ‘unfair treatment’ of Triple R and vows to organize all the BCEW wrestlers to never let it happen again. Suave: “Yeah right. Triple R’s big mouth is the reason he’s in the spot he’s in. I wonder how he’s doing? Triple R continues to fill out the multitude of applications, I-9 forms, and a new contract in BCEW Interim CEO Gina Ramsey’s office. He doesn’t look very happy.


In the Progressive Alliance locker room, Hillary Clinton, ‘The Natural’ Barack Obama, John Edwards, and Bill Richardson slap Union Jac and DLC in the back and suck up to them to gain their support for BCEW CEO.

In the American Patriots locker room, it’s ‘Straight shootin’ John McCain, Rudy Giuliani, and Mitt Romney who vie for the attention of Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit. Suddenly, ‘Law and Order Outsider’ Fred Thompson ambles up and attracts a crowd of people very quickly.

Big Oil comes out with his manager, Texas Tex, and does a promo where he taunts everyone about the sky-high oil prices. He calls the people sheep and says no matter how high the fuel cost rise, the American people will never, ever give up their cars and that will continue to make him and Tex loads of money. Tex chomps on a cigar and laughs when he throws a wad of cash into the air. Suave: “What a couple of a-holes!”


In the men’s room, there’s a furious rustling noise from inside the stall where George W is still using the bathroom. George W: HEY! WHERE’S THE @#$%$&**!! TOILET PAPER!


MATCH #2 UNION JAC & DLC (Progressive Alliance) VS. BIG OIL & KIRK WALSTREIT (American Patriots)
McCain, Giuliani, Romney, and Thompson come out to cheer on the American Patriots while Hillary, Barack, Edwards, and Richardson do the same for the Progressive Alliance. Suave: “It’s time for tonight’s main event!” The bell rings and Walstreit goes to the top rope and hits a flying elbow on Union Jac. DLC and Walstreit knock heads and all four men brawl in the ring. Split legged moonsault by DLC onto Walstreit. Snap suplex by Big Oil to Union Jac and then they battle in the corner. Hillary runs up on the ring apron and whacks Big Oil in the head with a frying pan. Suave: “Holy crap!” Big Oil stumbles back. Hillary then tells Union Jac that she’s for him, all the way. Barack and Edwards then jump up and try to get the attention of Union Jac. Distracted, Jac doesn’t see Big Oil slip in behind him and try to roll him up. The referee gets to 2.

Suave: “That was close… very close.”

DLC hits a top rope cross body block onto Walstreit. He goes for the pin 1… 2… no, Walstreit kicks out. Walstreit is then Irish whipped to the opposite corner, followed by a springboard leg drop by DLC. Another two count. DLC tries to follow up again but McCain, Romney, and Giuliani hit the ring and triple team him- each trying to outdo the other. Suave: “It looks like all the perspective BCEW CEO candidates are trying to impress tonight.

Back in Gina’s office, Triple R finally completes the paperwork. Angry, he stalks out of the office.

We're back as DLC attacks Big Oil outside the ring. Big Oil pushes him down and throws him back into the ring. Big Oil tags Walstreit in. Double team elbow, then DLC escapes and tags Union Jac back in. Jac catches a charging Walstreit in mid-air and power slams him. Walstreit escapes to the outside. Union Jac follows and throws him onto the barricade. Jac lifts Walstreit up and crotches him over the steel barricade. Big Oil runs in and clotheslines Union Jac. That causes DLC to run in and he gets planted by Big Oil as well. Big Oil covers outside the ring. One, Two… somehow, DLC kicks out. Big Oil gets tagged by a chair shot from ‘The Natural’ Barack Obama and drops to his knees. Obama then chokes Big Oil and Rudy Giuliani runs over.

Giuliani and Obama get into it. Giuliani claims that BCEW would face another attack from Seg McMann and Extremely Extreme Corporate Wrasslin’ if the Progressive Alliance get their way. Obama fires back that all Rudy and the American Patriots have is fear in their arsenal. Barack Obama: “Rudy Giuliani today has taken the politics of fear to a new low and I believe BCEW is ready to reject those kind of politics.”

John McCain tries to horn in but finds his voice lost in the hubbub. Finally, McCain gets on the mic and inexplicatively starts to sing, “Bomb, bomb, bomb…bomb, bomb Iran.” Suave: “Er…John? No. Don’t do that.”

DLC attacks Walstreit again then drags him back into the ring. DLC drives Walstreit into the corner. Walstreit reverses and gets a DDT on DLC out of nowhere. Then he drags DLC up as he climbs the ropes. Suave: “It looks like Kirk Walstreit is going for his finisher- the Stock Market Plunge!” Walstreit gets DLC in position. Suave: “He’s about to- HOLY CRAP! IT’S TRIPLE R!” Triple R races in with a chair and blasts Walstreit in the back. Walstreit drops DLC and flops to the canvas. Triple R hits the ring and swings away on Walstreit. Hillary, Barack, Edwards, and Richardson brawl with McCain, Giuliani, Romney, and Thompson. The match quickly breaks down.

Alec Baldwin rushes to the ring and berates the referee for letting things get totally out of control. Then Gina Ramsey comes down and Baldwin gets in her grill. Finally, Gina has enough and maces Baldwin to the delight of the Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon crowd.

Then Kim Basinger runs out and she starts kicking and clawing at her ex-husband. This goes on for a few seconds until Gina maces Basinger as well. While this goes on, Bubba Jackson comes out to make his announcement.

Bubba: “I am proud to announce tonight that BCEW Political War on cable TV will return next month!” Suave: “HOLY CRAP! How’d he pull that off?” Bubba continues: “We have one more month before the ‘Loose Cannons Unleashed’ PPV. The next weeks will see all the divisions gear up for title matches at Unleashed. Then we’ll be off June, July, and August before we reconvene at Loose Cannons-Lock and Load 2!”

Suave: “You heard it here first! The road to the final PPV of the season, Loose Cannons Unleashed 3, starts today.

Saturday, April 07, 2007

4/7- BCEW Extreme Political TV

RECAPPING BCEW v. EECW WAR
-‘Defense Specialist’ Hallie Burton of the American Patriots wins the BCEW Women’s Title
-Triple R (Road Ragin’ Randy) of the Progressive Alliance becomes the provisional BCEW Men’s Champion. He or whoever the provisional champion is, will have to wrestle Justin Sufferable for the title once Sufferable returns from his knee injury.
-Vince Rousseau lost his head when he thought a ‘Scottish Highlander Battle Royale’ would be a good idea for a match, complete with scimitars and heads lopping off.
-BCEW v. EECW. Superior wrestling carries BCEW to a quick 2-0 lead. Then George W. rappels down from the rafters to declare mission accomplished and sends out an aging EECW Oldtimer, Tommy Dreamboat, to seal the deal. Dreamboat’s body breaks down after falling onto a ladder and EECW wins the next two matches. The overall winner could not be determined thanks to an inconclusive ending when Triple R turns on the BCEW representative Starz N. Stripes in his match against the EECW Champion Bobby Lashaway. So now what??

OPEN
New provisional BCEW Champion Triple R (Road Ragin’ Randy) cuts a promo and trashes BCEW. With the BCEW World Title belt over his shoulder, he taunts BCEW CEO George W and says that he’s taking the belt to EECW and throwing it in a garbage can.

BCEW announcer Johnny Suave welcomes everyone to another edition of BCEW Extreme Political TV. Suave: “We are live from the Spengler Arena in Wauseon, Ohio. I’m Johnny Suave and this hot little piece of cardboard next to me is a life-sized cardboard cut-out of Shania freakin’ Twain!” Suave announces that BCEW CEO George W will come out later to address the fans about the Triple R situation and also to explain what the hell happened at BCEW v. EECW War. Suave: “But first-” Voice: “HOLD IT! HOLD IT!” “HOLY CRAP!” Suave exclaims. “It’s…BUBBA JACKSON? THE OWNER OF BCEW!” Bubba comes out from the back wearing his headset and carrying his clipboard. Suave: “This is a big surprise. We don’t see the owner of BCEW very often in the ring.” Bubba walks to the front. “Now, it’s true,” he begins. “It’s true that I don’t make it a point to come out here unless I’ve got a real good reason.” Bubba then calls out the BCEW CEO George W, his aide de camp- Dick, and ‘The Mastermind’ Karl Rove. All three warily come out to the ring. Suave: “You know, Bubba doesn’t look too happy.” ‘The Mastermind’ Rove points to his temple to, yet again, remind us all that he’s a freakin’ genius.

George W tries to explain that BCEW v. EECW was a huge success for BCEW and gets cut off by Bubba. Bubba reams out W for the game plan and not making the necessary changes needed after Tommy Dreamboat lost his match. Suave: “How in the blue hell do you justify sending out an equally aging wrestler in Hack Sand-Mann out after Dreamboat?” George W again tries to make the point that BCEW v. EECW was a huge success. Bubba holds up a bunch of papers and tells W it’s the expense reports. W looks concerned. Bubba tells W that running BCEW v. EECW has put a huge crimp in BCEW’s budget because he spent money to take on a multi-billion dollar corporation that BCEW didn’t have. Dick jumps in and tells Bubba that he’s been listening too much to the whining and crying from the Progressive Alliance. Bubba: “It’s one thing to be wrong. It’s totally another to be wrong and too stubborn to change the plan. You guys handled this in a totally incompetent way and I’ve had it. It’s unacceptable.” Bubba points his finger at W and says: “YOU’RE FIRED!”

The crowd immediately jumps up and chants, “BCEW!..BCEW!” Suave: “HOLY CRAP! I DON”T BELIEVE IT! THE OWNER OF BCEW- BUBBA JACKSON, JUST FIRED CEO GEORGE W!” Bubba then fires Dick and ‘The Mastermind’ Karl Rove for good measure. Bubba: “Now, get on. Get the hell out of here.” Dejectedly, all three skulk back to the locker room area. Suave: “Well, the end of an era. I wonder who’ll be the new…hold on. I guess Bubba’s not finished.”

Bubba then calls out the new BCEW World Champion Triple R. Triple R doesn’t appear. Bubba gets out his cell phone and makes a call. Satisfied with the response, he turns off the cell phone and waits. Seconds later, two Fulton County sheriff’s deputies drag an unwilling Triple R down the aisle towards the ring. The crowd boos Triple R unmercifully. Suave: “Yeah, he deserves it. That stinkin’ Judas cost BCEW the victory over EECW!” The sheriff’s deputies throw Triple R into the ring and the champ faces a very unhappy looking Bubba Jackson. Bubba: “As for you. I could really care less what you think of BCEW. If you’re not happy here, hand me the belt and there’s the door. Don’t let it hit you on your ass on the way out!” The crowd explodes and chants “Way to go, Bubba, way to go!” Triple R tells Bubba he doesn’t have to take his crap. He’s the champ and no one here in BCEW is even worthy to be in the same ring with him. Bubba points his finger into Triple R’s chest. “You ain’t so brave when the lights are on, mister. We all saw what happened at BCEW v. EECW war. It won’t happen again.” Triple R starts to leave and dares Bubba to stop him. Suddenly the Bomb Brothers show up. Then Starz N. Stripes. Then Little Paulie of the American Bikers.

Triple R steps back at the sight of the five wrestlers and doesn’t see Justin Sufferable and Chris Escondido sneak in behind him. Triple R tries to beg off. Sufferable swings his crutch and blasts Triple R in the back. Escondido uses his crutch and tries to choke Triple R out. A. Tom Bomb picks up Triple R and throws him in the ring. The bell rings. Suave: “It’s going to be an impromptu championship match!”

MATCH #1- BCEW WORLD CHAMPION TRIPLE R (Progressive Alliance) VS. A. TOM BOMB (Independent) VS. HY DROGEN BOMB (Independent) VS. LITTLE PAULIE (Independent) VS. STARZ N. STRIPES (American Patriots)
Triple R gets split like a lawn dart for a two count by A-Bomb. All hell breaks loose all six men enter the ring. Little Paulie heads outside and gets a chair. The ring gets cleared as Hy Drogen Bomb dives to the outside and catches Starz N. Stripes. In the ring, A-Bomb and Escondido go to work on Triple R with a trash can lid. Triple R gets blasted with a back elbow from Little Paulie who then delivers a stiff chair shot to the champion. Sufferable brings in the Singapore cane and drills Triple R with shots to the back with the cane. H-Bomb whips Triple R, but the champ ducks a clothesline and walks into a sidewalk slam by Little Paulie onto an open chair! Desperately, Triple R throws a chair into Little Paulie's head and tries to get out of the ring. Suddenly, the Green World Order (Peacenik, Greenpete, and Vegan Brock Cole Lee) hit the ring and provide enough interference for Triple R to escape. The fans pelt Triple R and the GWO with beer cups and other objects as they make their escape. Bubba gets on the mic. “Hey Triple R, you’re missing something.” Bubba holds up the BCEW Championship belt. Triple R starts back towards the ring but the GWO hold him back. Bubba: “I guess it’s time to have another tournament to determine the TRUE BCEW world champion.” Enraged, Triple R gets away from the GWO and tries to get to Bubba. The Fulton County sheriff’s deputies stop him and escort him from the building. The crowd: “Na, na, na-na. HEY-HEY-HEY! GOOD-BYEEE!”
Rosie O’Donnell comes out and blasts the BCEW owner Bubba Jackson for stripping Triple R of the title to ‘help bolster the American Patriots increasingly hostile position towards the Progressive Alliance wrestler. Rosie: "Just like false flag operations are covert operations conducted by governments, corporations, or other organizations, which are designed to appear as if they are being carried out by other entities, Bubba is doing the American Patriots bidding by taking the BCEW title away from Triple R." Suave: “WHAT? Bubba just fired George W five freakin’ minutes ago. What the hell is she smoking?”

“You’re way out of line, Rosie!” Faux News- Fair and Imbalanced, Bill O’Reilly comes out. O’Reilly calls her “Tokyo Rosie” and blasts her for suggesting that the U.S. was involved in the 9/11 attacks. Bill and Rosie get into it and the bell rings.

MATCH #2- ROSIE O’DONNELL VS. BILL O’REILLY
Suave: “Well? It’s an impromptu match. This could be interesting. Rosie O’Donnell is not afraid to stick her two cents in. Rosie ducks the early big boot and gets tons of lefts in. O’Reilly catches her with a clothesline. Rosie backs into the corner and O’Reilly chokes her down with the boot. O’Reilly with a scoop slam and two elbow drops before a two count. O’Reilly irish whips Rosie into the corner, and connects with a sidewalk slam for another two count. O’Reilly smacks her again with a huge right hand and this time Rosie responds with a punch and a chop. O’Reilly throws her in the corner and lefts her for another sidewalk slam. But Rosie fights back, hits a few punches to the gut to get out of the hold. She escapes, turns, and then eats a boot to the face. O’Reilly covers for the three count.
O’Reilly tosses Rosie to the outside and goes for a steel chair. O’Reilly drives the chair into Rosie's gut and slams the chair into her twice. Suave: “All right, Bill. You’ve made your point. That’s enough.” Rosie’s co-star on The View, Joy Behar comes out and jumps on O’Reilly’s back. O’Reilly flips her over his head and she lands hard on the floor. Then a guy wearing either a really bad toupee or a dead animal on his head runs out. Suave: “HOLY CRAP! IT’S BILLIONAIRE DON TRUMP!” Trump kicks at Rosie on the floor. Suave: “AGAIN! THAT’S ENOUGH!” O’Reilly sets up a chair and lifts Rosie up onto it. Trump takes the mic and yells at Rosie that he kicked a real wrestler’s ass last week in Vince McMahon and shaved him bald. Trump: “I’m going to do the same thing to you, Rosie!” Trump puts shaving cream in her hair and gets out a clipper to shave it with. Trump is about to start shaving her hair when MSNBC’s Keith Olbermann runs out to make the save. O’Reilly immediately high-tails it to the back and Trump follows.

GEORGE W’S OLD OFFICE
‘Queen’ Nancy Pelosi royally walks down the hall towards George W’s old office with her courtesans, ‘Pith Lord’ Harry Reid, and Steny Hoyer. They hold her royal robes as she enters the office fully expecting to make herself at home. Except there’s already someone at George W’s desk. Pelosi looks surprised and asks who the mystery person was. She spins around in the chair. Suave: “HOLY CRAP! IT’S FORMER BUCKLAND COUNTY SHERIFF AND CURRENT MANAGER OF HACK’S RUSTY NAIL SALOON, GINA ‘GIGI’ RAMSEY!” Gina explains to Pelosi that there was a new sheriff in town for the next year and half and she was going to clean up the mess that George W left. Pelosi looks regally stunned and royally pissed.

Suave: “Wow! BCEW owner Bubba Jackson throws a big curve at everyone and appoints Gina Ramsey as the temporary CEO of Buckland County Extreme Wrestling.

MATCH #3- “The Massachusetts Blueblood JFK” JOHN KERRY VS. ‘Swiftboating’ SAM FOX
Suave explains that John Kerry is out for blood on this one. Fox contributed fifty thousand dollars to the Swift Boat Vets to help put a commercial on the air that attacked JFK. Kerry gets a rematch. JFK hit a quick shoulder block. Headlock by JFK and Fox backs him into the corner. Another headlock by Kerry and Fox tries to flip out and lands on his head. Kerry back into the corner, but a kick to the thigh stops Fox and Kerry hits a jumping kick for a two count. Fox gets a kick to the groin to slow down Kerry. Suplex by Fox and he gets a two count. Fox heaves Kerry hard into the turnbuckle and JFK collapses. Fox goes for an abdominal stretch. JFK reverses into a roll-up for a two count. Fox rolls out of the ring and dares Kerry to follow. Kerry does and Fox clotheslines him. Fox then throws Kerry into the steel guardrail. Fox attempts to throw JFK into the other guardrail, JFK counters and its Fox who eats the steel. Kerry with a steel folding chair to the knee of Fox. Steel folding chair to the head. JFK snaps and starts indiscriminately hitting Fox with the chair.

Suave: “JFK’s really upset and he’s taking it out on Sam Fox!” Kerry drags Fox back in the ring and whips him into the ropes. Suddenly, three men run down to the ring. Suave: “WAIT A MINUTE! IT’S GEORGE W! AND DICK! AND ‘THE MASTERMIND’ KARL ROVE!” W gets a steel-folding chair and blasts JFK from behind. Suave: “HOLY CRAP! FOX STAGGERS OVER TO COVER. AND THAT’S IT!” 1-2-3 and the match goes to Sam Fox. Suave: “GEORGE W JUST THUMBED HIS NOSE AT THE MASSACHUSETTS BLUEBLOOD AND HELPED FOX GET OVER!” W then stands in the middle of the ring and flips everyone off. So does Dick. ‘The Mastermind’ just points to his temple again to show just what a freakin’ genius he is.

Suave: “George W gets fired but gets the last laugh tonight. What will happen with the BCEW World Championship belt? We’ll see next time!”